Long Hollow

There's Something About May...

Maybe I'm paranoid, but I think May doesn't like me.

Tuesday was Tom's 55th birthday. I've barely been home the past week and looked forward to having some time off yesterday afternoon to write a post here about how grateful I am for each of those 55 years... especially the 30 I've shared with him...

Instead, I spent most of the afternoon doubled up in pain on the couch until I drove myself to the emergency room, where I spent the rest of the evening.

I was sure it was a gall bladder attack. It hit right after eating one of my veggie omelettes that I drown in picante sauce, and the only other time I've had pain like that (other than labor for each one of my kids) is after eating a spicy Thai salad several years ago. My friends with experience told me then that it sounded like a gall bladder rebellion.

Not life threatening, so when it subsided a bit, I just called and made an appointment for today with my doctor and tried to get comfortable on the couch.

But I couldn't. When it didn't go away after a few hours, and even felt like it was getting worse again, I thought I better get a second opinion, or I guess third, if you count Google, and off to the ER I went, in such a rush I didn't even grab a book.

To put it into perspective, I think it's been over thirty years since I went to an emergency room for myself. Who has time for that? I didn't even go when I thought my heart was going to explode out of my chest two years ago. 

In May.

Ah, May. Why don't you like me?

Shingles had attacked me the previous May. Or maybe that year it was the super duper urinary tract infection... only the second one I've had in my life... and shingles was the year before.

At any rate, last May I held my breath all month, wondering what disease or affliction would hit me out of the blue. Surprise... I made it through with no surprises! I thought the May curse was broken. 

I guess it wasn't.

On the up side, my internal organs passed all of yesterday's tests with flying colors. An hour after the morphine shot, my pain went away and hasn't returned. I'm flummoxed but relieved! I think the doctor was flummoxed, too. He called it a stomach virus, gave me a prescription for nausea medicine (which I didn't and still don't need) and released me to my dear friends Mary Kay and Joe. (I couldn't drive myself home because of the morphine.)

Also on the up side, these random May afflictions remind me to not take my health for granted... or anything for granted, really, because things can change in a split second, can't they? So maybe May is just being a good friend, keeping me humble and on my toes. And grateful when things go right.

After all, a month that celebrates mothers, welcomed my husband into the world, and gives us beautiful flowers can't be too bad, can it?

(I'll still be glad when June arrives.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ah, Mother's Day...

For the first time in years, I actually saw my mother on Mother's Day instead of telling her how much I love and appreciate her via a card and a phone call.

It meant missing church and spending hours on the road Sunday morning, but Daniel (middle son) awoke early enough to send me off stuffed with my traditional Mother's Day eggs and bacon breakfast. He even offered to feed the dogs for me, but I treated myself to those few relaxing minutes on the back porch with my coffee.

I got to see the other 2/3 of my kids on Saturday at my future daughter-in-law's sister's college graduation party in San Antonio. Tommy gave me a beautiful card and TG surprised me with a cup she decorated with sparkly beads and a note that begins "To my closest friend, my role model, and my rock..."

Add the breakfast Daniel made me, and what more could a mother want?

To see her own mother, that's what.

It helped that I had today off, so after dinner at Sudie's Catfish House with my mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law, and niece yesterday afternoon, I was able to relax and visit awhile last night, and then sleep late and enjoy bacon and eggs a la Daddy this morning before jumping back on that highway headed home.

(Speaking of Sudie's... we were sitting there in one of the side dining rooms when I noticed this older woman enter. Her face looked so familiar, a memory drifting out of my childhood, but I couldn't place it. Then her husband entered, and her daughter, and the memory was anchored. Ginger, Buddy, and Randi who used to live behind us, who used to call me BeeBee. I spent hours and hours at their house, played in their backyard, coveted Randi's doll collection and loved Ginger's cherry tomatoes.

How fitting, and what a wonderful surprise, to see one of the moms from your childhood on Mother's Day. Randi actually lives near me and we met for lunch a couple of years ago, so it was good to see her again and meet her husband and daughter.)

My gift to my mom...I gathered most of my flower photos from the past few weeks into a printed bouquet... a book of my flower photos, accoompanied by sentimental but fitting quotes about mothers.

And another gift, although I'm not sure it's one she noticed... although I glanced at my email on my phone, I didn't touch her computer. Not once. It'll take me a couple of weeks to catch up on Facebook and email and blog reading, but I feel it was a good trade-off to focus on time with her and Daddy while I had the chance.

I have to admit I was busy snapping photos out the back door again. Two green parakeets (which are actually about 10 inches long) and a white dove visited their backyard, along with the regular menagerie. I'll post those pics later on the photography blog.

I hope all of you had a wonderful weekend, too. If you weren't able to be with your mother, I hope memories of her filled your heart and brought a smile to your face.

And if the week ahead of you looks as crazy and rushed as the one ahead of me, don't forget to breathe and focus on each moment! 

"If you have a mom, there is nowhere you are likely to go where a prayer has not already been."

 ~Robert Brault

Super Moon and other Sweet!s of the Week

I've already jumped onto the Weekend Express, but I'm taking advantage of a pit stop to post my Saturday Sweet! List from the past week before I get whisked into the next one...

 

Saturday: catching the Super Moon low on the horizon; waking to the sound of unexpected rain

(Not the best capture, but enough to trigger my memory of standing on my friend Nancy's back porch watching it rise in the sky over the pasture.) 

Sunday: Mass with dear friends in a beautiful historic church; sunlight streaming through stained glass windows; barbecue chicken plates benefiting a volunteer fire department; a quick visit with your son, future daughter-in-law, and grandpuppy; Gruene, Texas, even for just a quick stop

Monday: an omelette made with fresh veggies from a friend's garden; new tires on your car; spending time with your baby girl 

Tuesday: your husband bringing you flowers; finishing tasks that weighed on your mind

(from a yucca plant that was knocked over in the thunder storm)

Wednesday: soft raindrops on a morning walk; box turtles resting near a pond; sleeping dogs; friends responding to a prayer request; grilled cheese sandwiches a la Tom

Thursday: an unexpected paid work day (cha-ching!); second graders; Ocean Week in an elementary school; storm clouds making way for sunshine long enough to walk your puppies

Friday: gathering with friends and 1/3 of your kids for dinner, even if the band (and dancing) is rained out; sunsets and storm clouds over a lake; rainbows

 

Hope you all had a wonderful week and the next one is even better. And in case my Mother's Day post runs a few days late, Happy Mother's Day to all of you who have experienced the joy and heartbreak of motherhood, whether you ever gave birth or not.

Here's a flower for you...

(the onions are blooming!) 

Hello There

Has anyone even missed me?

For the past few days, I've been holed up in my office, focused in a way that's unusual for me, fueled with determination to finish editing photos from a shoot last month.

(I know! Shame on me for taking so long! I do have the relatively good excuse of getting my new computer, having to load software and learn how to do what I need to do, bit by bit. Still, shame on me...)

But I'm happy to report I finished the photos last night and mailed them off to my friend today. I also mailed a shoebox full of thank-you notes to friends who helped me get this dream computer that I'm staring at right now. I never, ever, ever could have gotten it without them, so the writing of those notes had also been hanging over my head, occasionally tapping me on the shoulder, and even sometimes tripping me when I walked by. 

I forgive them because I appreciate the reminders, but you can imagine how relieved I am to have them out of my house!

(Now I know my friends that they're addressed to aren't checking their mailboxes every day and tsk, tsk, tsking me on my lack of manners, or planning to de-Facebook-friend me because of it. But it's one of those things you feel inside, that you know you need to take care of and the longer you put it off the more it eats at you.)

So, whew! that's done.

During my outing to the post office, I also mailed a ring to a friend. This is a dear friend who lives a couple of hours away, who I just happened to visit this past weekend on the premise of her hosting a Silpada party for me.

This ring is the replacement to one she bought several years ago from a different Silpada representative. The stone had fallen out and I took care of the exchange for her. (Silpada has a lifetime guarantee.) 

I've been holding onto the replacement ring for a few weeks now. I mean, why mail it when I would be going to see her soon anyway, right?

It's weird...I remember the very moment this weekend when I realized I had forgotten to bring that ring. I was standing in her kitchen and it hit me hard, like a frying pan. Thank goodness Nancy was (sort of) forgiving and didn't hit me herself with a frying pan.

And hallelujah! that nagging feeling that I'd forgotten something went away...

Tom came along with me for the weekend and we had such a great time. Nancy and Paul are teachers who live out in the country, as in cows and chickens and kittens and sheep and tractors and gardens overflowing with cucumbers, squash, potatoes, peppers... overflowing enough that they loaded us up with fresh garden treasure... that now overflows bowls in my kitchen...

It had been a couple of years since our last visit to their house. Time always brings change, but this time the change was pretty obvious: an oil rig squatted in the pasture between Nancy's house and her in-laws'.

Oil is the new hot crop in those parts, especially after the drought of the past couple of years. Ranchers have had to sell cattle because they couldn't feed them. The oil boom is a huge blessing!

And that's why they forgive the rig its gawky incongruity with the surrounding countryside. In fact, Tom would really love to get one, too!

But I had looked forward to getting some more photos of Nancy's cows, and was disappointed that the rig had scared them off to some distant back forty. 

Thank goodness the Mama cat had had more kittens...

...and even though for some reason I felt too intimidated on this trip to snap any photos during Mass of their gorgeous, historic church, I did snap these afterward...

Nancy and I also went for a ride down the highway on a Kuboto RTV to meet members of their sheep herd (mostly to see the brand new babies) but I'm going to post those on my photography site, um, later. Hopefully tomorrow.

But there are still some of those items on my to-do list tapping me on my shoulder, so first and foremost, I'm going back into my shell to get them done before they start tripping me as I walk by. 

#1 on that list is "make progress on my book." 

Wish me luck!

Vintage Airports, Engaged Couples, Dark-Eyed Juncos, and other Sweet!s of the Week

We've known him since he was a baby, but when Justin gets married next month we won't be at the wedding. He and his beautiful bride-to-be Pati are tying the knot in Mexico, and as much as we'd love a few days at an ocean side resort, we just can't swing it financially. 

That's why his mom and dad threw an engagement party for them last weekend, so we and all the rest who couldn't be at the ceremony could celebrate with the couple.

The best part.. it was a surprise party! I love surprises!

They thought the surprise was just a flight in this small plane...

They didn't know it would land at a different airport where friends and family waited to party with them in a vintage airport terminal.

 

Did you catch that "vintage airport" part?

It was the 1940's Air Terminal Museum - the original art deco air terminal at Hobby Airport in Houston, currently being renovated back to its glory days and filled with all sorts of vintage airport memorabilia. Very cool!

I took one or two photos... ahem...

Bob, Justin's dad, decorated the tables with flags and maps and tidbits on the history of Justin and Pati's love story.

As you can see, we sat at the Istanbul, Turkey table, where Justin and Pati's story began.

Bob's so creative.

Believe it or not, I also took some photos of the cute couple! 

 

Ah, young love. Very sweet! 

And now for a few other sweet!s of my week...

Saturday: seeing your husband after a week apart; surprise parties; dancing, dancing, dancing

Sunday: breakfast by Daddy; parakeets running wild; tutus and cowgirl boots; a slumber party with your sister and mom

Monday: finding out you won a beautiful sketch by TexWis Girl; a call from a dear friend; an afternoon walk with the puppies after a fun weekend with friends and family; new growth on a beautiful tree you didn't think survived the drought

Tuesday: the sun rising early enough to fit in a walk with the puppies before work; a call from another good friend; two hawks hamming it up for your camera (okay, once on the computer I realized they were those vultures again, but they really are photogenic!)

Wednesday: time before work to walk your puppies, switch the laundry around, and run two miles; high school juniors reading and writing children's stories; packages in the mailbox; baby frogs; finding out Hilary at The Smitten Image awarded you a Post of the Week for one of your photography posts

Thursday: hours to get lost in your writing; answered prayers for a friend; your mom calling, worried about you because you haven't checked in with her yet today

Friday: veggie omelettes; eavesdropping on teenager's conversations; a mailbox stuffed with the box containing the beautiful sketch you won, a dark-eyed junco by TexWisGirl Theresa of The Run*A*Round Ranch Report

Isn't it precious? She's so talented!

Theresa also enclosed one four- and one five-leaf clover in a sweet card. Bonus sweet!

Thanks again, Theresa!! 

I hope the next week is filled with bonus sweet!s for all of you!

What Do You Worry About?

 

The older I get, the less I worry. 

That doesn't mean I don't worry. Just that I'm beginning to realize worry doesn't help anything.

Prayer does, so the older I get, the more I pray.... that God will show me what I can do to help the situation, and if there's nothing I can do, to help me step back and let him take care of things.

...And that no matter what, I never lose hope.

When I do worry, it's about my kids... our finances... Tom's health... um... I think that's it. Next to those, nothing else seems to matter that much.

Oh, I pray about much more than that... issues that my friends and family are dealing with... social problems in the world... but I'm talking about that knotted up, gray-cloud-of-despair, helpless type of worry.

I recently came across this list that author F. Scott Fitzgerald gave to his 11-year-old daughter, Scottie, in 1933.  

Things to worry about:

Worry about courage
Worry about cleanliness
Worry about efficiency
Worry about horsemanship

Things not to worry about: 

Don’t worry about popular opinion
Don’t worry about dolls
Don’t worry about the past
Don’t worry about the future
Don’t worry about growing up
Don’t worry about anybody getting ahead of you
Don’t worry about triumph
Don’t worry about failure unless it comes through your own fault
Don’t worry about mosquitoes
Don’t worry about flies
Don’t worry about insects in general
Don’t worry about parents
Don’t worry about boys
Don’t worry about disappointments
Don’t worry about pleasures
Don’t worry about satisfactions

Things to think about: 

What am I really aiming at? 
How good am I really in comparison to my contemporaries in regard to:

(a) Scholarship
(b) Do I really understand about people and am I able to get along with them? 
(c) Am I trying to make my body a useful instrument or am I neglecting it? 

With dearest love,

Daddy

I don't agree with him on all of the items (horsemanship?), but I do on quite a few (especially the "nots") and like that he divided it between things we have control over and things we don't.

I wish I'd had the forethought to give my kids a list like this when they were younger. 

They probably wouldn't have listened to me, though.

I wonder if F. Scott's daughter listened to him? Probably not. We all seem to have to learn the hard way, right?

So... what do you worry about? 

 

Ten Years Ago...

He noticed it when he used the rowing machine at the gym where he worked. A consistent pain or pressure that would start up after a few minutes and go away when he stopped rowing. Perhaps a pulled muscle? He was in the middle of building our new home, after all, and stretching and working those muscles to their limit.

But when the pain popped up again while working on the car one April morning ten years ago, he decided he should have it looked into. He'd read enough about heart attacks to hear that tiny warning voice whispering in his ear.

Our doctor's office said don't bother coming in, call an ambulance and get to the hospital right away.

We didn't call an ambulance. By then the pain had gone away, so we took time to shower and eat lunch before heading out the door. We had enough experience with hospitals to know we'd be there awhile. 

After hours and hours and test after test - he passed the stress test with flying colors - they declared his heart fine and sent us home. But come see me in two weeks, the cardiologist told him.

He did, and he told her how he could get that feeling back in his chest after just so many minutes on that rowing machine even though running on the treadmill did nothing.

So she scheduled an arteriogram which revealed an artery in the circumflex was 95% blocked, in a spot that doesn't show up on EKGs and stress tests. 

They popped in a stent and two days later he was back at work.

Thank you, God, for good cardiologists and modern medicine and stubborn husbands who listen to their bodies and aren't afraid to speak up.

Thank you, God, for these past ten years with my sweet husband. I pray we have at least ten more, but just in case, I'll try my best not to take a single one of them for granted.

Happy Anniversary, Tom!! Thank you for taking care of yourself!

 

"Lullaby" (Dixie Chicks)

They didn't have you where I come from
Never knew the best was yet to come
Life began when I saw your face
And I hear your laugh like a serenade

How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up

I slip in bed when you're asleep
To hold you close and feel your breath on me
Tomorrow there'll be so much to do
So tonight I'll drift in a dream with you

How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up

As you wander through this troubled world
In search of all things beautiful
You can close your eyes when you're miles away
And hear my voice like a serenade

How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up

How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up

 

Flowers for Leontien (and other Sweet!s)

June 3 will mark the 4th anniversary of my first blog post.

I started blogging because, as I write in my "About" section up above...

"Diaries, letters, and scrapbooks became journals, writing classes and essays became Long Hollow (and a few fictional works in progress...) 

But come to find out, what started as an outlet for my journaling and writing needs also satisfied this desire inside of me to connect with people. I was the kind of kid who wrote letters to everyone I knew and wanted tons of pen pals all around the world.

Blogging has given that to me.

Through my blogs... this one and my photography blog... I've met people I probably would never have connected with otherwise.

Just to name a few, there's the  Methodist minister in South Africa. The anesthesiologist/playwright in California. And the transplanted Wisconsonian photographer/artist/animal lover living near Dallas named TexWis Girl.

Earlier this week, I received an email from TexWisGirl letting me know about a surprise blog event called Flowers for Leontien, scheduled for today at 8 am, in honor of fellow blogger, Leontien Vandelaar of Four Leaf Clover Dairy.

I actually don't know Leontien, but she is battling cancer, and other bloggers who do know her felt our support and participation in this event would show her that her blogging community is there for her -- by posting a flower photo with {{hugs}} as the message to Leontien on our blogs today and linking to the "Flowers for Leontien" post on A Rural Journal.

By coordinating our posts, TexWisGirl and others hope to demonstrate how much the blogging community cares for Leontien and is thinking of her at this difficult time. A big beautiful virtual bouquet delivered right to her computer.

As I said, I don't know Leontien, but it moves me that these other bloggers are doing what they can to support their friend, and reaching out to others to gather as much support as possible.

So Leontien, this Texas flower is for you with lots of {{hugs}}. 

I'll keep you in my prayers, for strength and peace and healing. I'm grateful for this blogging community that connected us.

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What a coincidence that the BlogHer Life Well Lived question this week is: How does blogging, journaling, writing and connecting online help to increase your happiness?

I think I just answered that question.

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And now for a few other Sweet!s of my week.. 

Sunday: talking to all three kids in the same day; your mom calling to make sure you're okay; a call from your husband

Monday:a butterfly landing on your shoe; progress on your book for the first time in a few weeks; a blog friend using your photo in his post 

Tuesday: dinner with 2/3 of your kids; payday for one of your jobs; veggie omelettes; a porch swing at night, with a view of the crescent moon

Wednesday: free home grown onions sitting in a basket at your veterinary clinic when you go to pick up your expensive dog food; fortune cookies that tell you what you want to hear; your mom calling to check on you; more progress on your book

Thursday: your sister thinking of you when she sees an exciting photography opportunity; finally getting your Easter decorations put away; editing photos on a new, fast computer; making arrangments for a fun summer vacation at the beach with family

Friday: being back in high school and not caring if anyone likes you; a hug from a friend, via her little girl; goofy dogs; salmon colored sunsets

Saturday: joining other bloggers to offer support and prayers to a fellow blogger

Share your Sweet!s with me! I love to hear them! I hope your next week is full to the brim with them!

...Toss your hat into the latest BlogHer Life Well Lived Sweepstakes for a chance to win an iPod Touch and a $50 iTunes gift certificate to go with it. Go to the Live Well Lived main page to see the other answers and add your own to the comments.

For proper disclosure...

Tenacity

Tomorrow will mark four days in a row I didn't have to report to one job or another. That's a record. When I say "job", I'm not talking about working on my book or photography, but at one of those hourly paying gigs that help feed our bank account.

When I envisioned these four wide open days, I saw myself up early, typing away at my book, filling dozens of pages even before heading out for my morning walk with the puppies. I would then edit some photos, write a blog post or two before lunch, followed by making a major dent on my to-do notebook (it's expanded way beyond a list.) I would still have time to work out, and take the pups and my camera on an afternoon walk to the pond. 

Well, of course, in real life it didn't work out that way. I had so many odds and ends to take care of that it felt like my days just kind of piddled away.

I did manage to  work on my book a couple of times, edit some photos, and publish a blog post, but there are some major to-do's I still haven't tackled.

There's always tomorrow...

I say that too often these days.

The thing is... and I hate to put words to the phantom thoughts drifting through my brain.. but I'm beginning to think it's impossible to be a writer, photographer, blogger, personal historian, mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, waiter, substitute teacher, and.... um, I think that's it.... all at the same time.

But that doesn't mean I'm giving up. 

On one of my recent walks, I noticed new grapevine twisting around an old limb. Clinging, climbing, intent on moving ever up and up. I was first struck by the bright red color, but its tenacity is what mesmerizes and inspires me now. Tom cleared out as much grapevine as he could this winter - it tends to choke the trees - but grapevine is one stubborn, headstrong plant.

 

I want to be like that.

Last Wednesday night I attended a photography workshop by Clay Blackmore, a professional portrait photographer about my age who started with film thirty years ago. He had to make the switch to digital - and to edgier, artsy photos - to stay on top of his business.

The guy next to me and I started talking. He also was about my age and had been a film photographer who only recently picked up a digital camera, trying to get back into photography and make some money from it. I can't remember now what he asked me, but in answering him, I mentioned that I was writing a book as well as doing some portrait and art photography.

That's when the woman sitting in front of us, also about our age, turned around. She asked me about my book and how I found my critique group. Seems she started writing a romance novel twenty years ago herself, but set it on a shelf somewhere along the way. It had been gnawing on her lately to dust it off and finish it, but she just hadn't done it yet.

When we said good night a little later, I told her "Get back on that book tomorrow!" And she promised she was going to. I believe she did.

I like to think I inspired her. But she also inspired me.

So tomorrow, I'll be working on my book. And my photos. And my blogs. And transcribing an interview, scanning some old photos...

Tomorrow has arms wide open, full of possibility, don't you know?

 

I hope you've had a great week that included at least a few minutes of doing something you've dreamed about, something that makes your imagination soar and your heart beat faster.

If not, there's still time. What are you waiting for?

"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out."

~ Robert J. Collier

 

Earth Day and an Apology to my Puppies

The dogs' bowls were empty. Max had wandered around the corner of the house, probably on down to the doghouse, calling it a night. Belle lay near me, gnawing on a bone. 

I had a few hours left in the day after seven hours (on my feet) at the winery and a long walk with the puppies. Potential to-do's flipped through my mind like cards in a rolodex...

And yet there I sat, butt frozen to my rocking chair, mesmerized by the rhythmic chirp-chirps of the crickets, the bass croaking of the frogs, the steady singing of the little waterfall below me.

I rocked and watched the blue of a cloudless eastern sky deepen... watched a blink of a crescent moon appear in the west... tried to think of a way to describe the color of the sunset...

No clouds. Nothing dramatic. Just a golden, pinkish, blue...

...and that's when I heard it, the buzzing in my ear. Mosquito. Time to go in.

But despite the mosquitos and other bugs, Earth is a great place to live, isn't it? 

Happy Earth Day!

Now, the apology... 

In yesterday's post, I mentioned a dead armadillo we discovered on the property, and that we suspected our puppies, trying to protect us from great danger, had something to do with its demise.

Well, I think everyone knows armadillos are pretty harmless. 

But coral snakes aren't, and we're pretty sure the dogs also had something to do with the demise of this one pictured below...

Red and yella kill a fella. Yep, coral snake. 

We found it dead and decaying on the side of our driveway back in March, and yet I never once posted about it. Oh, I intended to, but there's that time thing...

But that's no excuse. I should have bragged about my ferocious, courageous, heroic puppies at the time, so that's why I'm officially apologizing to them now.

Will you forgive me, Belle and Max?

Pretty please?

Pretty, pretty please? We'll take an extra walk tomorrow...

Whew. I think I'm forgiven.

Sweet dogs.

Sweet Earth.