Frankie the Guinea Fowl usually escorts me to my car every morning, then runs alongside until we reach the property line. I have no idea why; it's just what he does. For some reason, he feels this is his duty and therefore, I'm honored.
This morning, however...no Frankie! I finally traced his chirps into the woods, where he was settled into a hole in the dirt, like a hen sits on a nest. He looked mighty comfortable, but I could tell he was torn, trying to decide whether he should escort (chase) me down the road or stay put. He would lift up an inch or two, then settle back down.
"That's okay, Frankie. You don't have to chase me today."
Ah, conflict. Despite my assurances, I could see him struggling under the weight of the choices. I watched him as I started the car and backed up, curious to see which would win, duty or pleasure.
It was pleasure; he stayed put, comfy in his earthen nest.
Like Frankie, I found myself struggling to make a similar decision these past two days...duty or pleasure? Should I stay home, finally clean this filthy house, get some work done outside (it's going to be a beautiful weekend!) and catch up on writing and to-do list items?
Or...should I head to the coast, to Galveston, to a birthday party of a friend who's guests will also include George Strait's Ace in the Hole Band and friends from high school I haven't seen in a long, long time?
I hate having to make decisions like this...I know no matter what I decide, I'm going to have regrets.
On the one hand, Galveston has always been a special place to me ...a calming place that would pull me into its arms and soothe me when life threatened to overwhelm me. History, the beach, the sea and sun...ah, my idea of heaven. Then there are the friends I haven't seen in close to a year...I was really looking forward to spending some time with them, walking along the Strand or the seawall before heading for the party. And of course, with the Ace in the Hole band playing, there would be dancing...
On the other hand, and you might not realize this unless you're a first-class Procrastinator like me, but I've discovered something: if you ignore a to-do list long enough, it swells into a huge, hulking monster that looms over you, sucking the fun out of everything. And right now my house is splattered with so many lists morphing into monsters, so many scraps of paper with random thoughts scribbled on them that even I don't comprehend - like my brain exploded or something - that my house now resembles the setting of a Stephen King novel.
So, reluctantly, I'm choosing duty over pleasure this time. I need to be a grownup, damn it. I hate that! I can't believe I'm choosing staying home to tackle chores over a party in Galveston!
But I realize if I don't stop and breathe and tackle this mess it will consume me. Nothing will hold pleasure for me until the biggest monster has been tamed. I'm realistic enough to know this guy isn't going to disappear in one weekend, but maybe I'll be able to at least clean him up like Harry on Harry and the Hendersons. I love that movie! Maybe this will be a fun weekend, after all!