I walked at dusk, a tangerine glow still lining the horizon, not quite snuffed by the night sky. The wind blew hard, but it was comforting, like a friend's reassuring hug, and its roaring in my ear was a lullaby, soothing.
While the puppies hunted for lizards and rough-housed in the sand, I turned inward, flipping through my thoughts, trying to sort and organize and figure out why I feel so scattered, why I feel someone has stolen minutes from my day.
I just can't get as much done as I used to and I don't know why.
My brain feels as dry as the land around me, and that doesn't help. My words and thoughts are wilted, sluggish, thirsty for more writing time.
And yet, hasn't my time for writing always been like that, just bits and pieces shared by so many different projects that they're worn thin like tattered hand-me-downs, tossed aside into the nooks and crannies of my day? What's different now?
Maybe it's not the amount of time, but the rhythm of my day. Maybe it's the other things competing with space in my brain...things like jobs and money, dreams and reality, love and heartache, concerns about family and friends.
Maybe it's just the weather.
But the wind blew my cloud of melancholy away. Despite the heat, the drought and the horsefly circling me, preparing to strike, it was a beautiful evening and my blessings are too numerous to count.
Here's one... My sister Brenda got the okay from her doctor to put weight on her hip. She's back home again, with her husband and cat. I know she appreciates how Mama and Daddy embraced her and cared for her while she recuperated from hip surgery, but three months is a long time to be away from home and I'm happy for all of them.
Yeah, maybe I'm dropping things lately like so much loose change slipping through my fingers, but I've also taken care of a few to-do's that have waited patiently for my attention, such as finally posting (and selling!) stuff via Craig's List, starting back on writing my book semi-daily, cleaning up my hard drive to free up some space... um, maybe that's it. But that's something.
By the way, did you see the full moon this week? I always count it as a blessing, one that helps me put the trivial things of my life into perspective. I remembered to take a few shots of its progression - they don't do it justice, but they're still my Friday Favorite Photos picks, reminding me to stop, focus, breathe, be still.
Preconceived notions are the locks on the door to wisdom.
Hope you are having a wonderful Friday!