I was 26.
I had felt the life inside of me, kicking my ribs, pressing on my bladder. Had heard the amplified swoosh swoosh of the heartbeat in the doctor's office. Had spent all night and most of the morning gritting my teeth and breathing heh-heh-heh through the waves of pain.
And then, there you were. My baby boy.
They wrapped you in blue blankets, covered your head to keep it warm, and placed you in my nervous arms.
I'd never held a baby this small before. Never even changed a diaper. How could I be a mother? What if I hurt you? The feeling swelled up from deep inside... I would die if anything happened to you. The strength of that thought overwhelmed me. The truth of it rang in my heart, through my bones and every pore of my body.
Your tiny face, so close to mine. Eyes tinted blue, bottomless pools that gazed into mine, full of all the wisdom of the world. I fell into those eyes, felt the miracle and mystery of life, all God-doubts forgotten. I was forever changed.
Happy 26th birthday, Tommy! Meeting you and watching you grow into the man you've become has been one of the sweetest adventures of my life!
And now for a few sweet moments from the past week...
Sunday: weddings and cake balls; a clear night sky full of stars; the glow of porch light when you get home late at night
Monday: warm jackets on frosty autumn mornings; working at home so you can take drum-playing breaks
Tuesday: your old puppy well enough, not only just to walk, but to run a little and play with his little sister; a church busy with helping hands
Wednesday: a fire in the woodburning stove on a cold morning; a few seconds in a clearing in the woods, just breathing; witnessing the Holy Spirit at work; news that your father-in-law is better and out of the hospital
Thursday: a card in the mail from a friend, just because it made her think of you; editing photos on your son's faster computer and larger monitor
Friday: sitting on the back porch, sipping coffee, watching waves of misty rain parade past; good news on a friend's major surgery; singing happy birthday to your son and thinking of all of the other birthdays gone by; a house full of twenty-somethings
Saturday: a house full of twenty-somethings; chatting with your oldest on the morning of his 26th birthday, wishing him happy birthday face-to-face
Hope you all have had a week full of sweet! moments, too!
And Tommy, I'm hoping 26 is as sweet for you as it was for me!