Long Hollow

Here I Go Again (a BlogHer Book Club review)

 

Think about your life.

If you found a way to go back in time to some point in it, would you try to change anything? Would you take advantage of the chance for a do-over? Perhaps swallow some angry words you've always wished you could take back?

Or would you leave things just as they are?

I've been thinking about that as I read Here I Go Again by Jen Lancaster for the BlogHer Book Club.

For years I said I had no regrets, that I wouldn't change a thing if I had the chance because of my wonderful husband and kids. I've had my share of downs, but overall, I love my life. I'm blessed and I know it.

But the truth is I do have some regrets, and if I had the chance, I'd high-tail it back to the fall of 1977, breakup with my then-boyfriend and attend all of my college classes, instead of driving to Galveston and moping on the seawall about how bad things were in my life right then. (Why do some of us do that, make bad situations worse by creating new problems for ourselves?)

Without the distraction of a cheating boyfriend chipping away at my self-esteem, and by keeping up with my classes, I think dropping out a year later would never have crossed my mind.

I would still have met Tom, because I believe it was part of God's plan for us to be together. (I don't think it was His original plan for me to drop out - I think He just cleaned up what I messed up. He's good at that. Lots of practice, unfortunately.)

With a Chemical Engineering degree in hand, I could still have gone to work at the DuPont chemical plant, where I made so many great friends.

But since I'm not a character in a novel like Lissy Ryder, the main character of Here I go Again who does get a chance for a do-over, I'll just give thanks that God is able to make the best of our bad decisions if we let Him. 

Lissy is a former high school mean girl, all grown up and dealing with the fruits of her lifelong sharp tongue and selfish ways. She is forced to move back in to her childhood home when her husband files for divorce and she loses her Public Relations job.

Her twenty-year high school reunion approaches and, when she sees that many of her former classmates are huge successes, she gets the idea of starting her own PR company and soliciting business at the reunion.

Unfortunately, but understandably, all of her classmates despise her. Even her sweet, long-suffering best friend Nicole finally dumps her on one of those former classmates when Lissy gets drunk at the reunion.

But thanks to that classmate, Lissy is able to relive a few weeks of her high school senior year, where she makes better decisions and manages to be a kinder, gentler version of her previous seventeen-year-old self. 

Waking up in the new present, she's pleased to find that everything has gone her way this time. She's rich, the owner of a highly successful PR company, and still happily married.

Of course, the butterfly effect being what it is, everything isn't as great as it seems at first...but I won't divulge anymore in case you decide to read it yourself, which I think you should just because it's so funny.

I did have a few issues with it:

• Lancaster implies that all Homecoming and Prom Queens are mean snobs. As a former Homecoming and Prom Queen, I disagree. (I hope my classmates do, too!) 
• She says (through Lissy) that having children makes you look old before your time. Obviously, I disagree with that, as well. 
• A few plot parts felt manipulated. My critique group would have torn those apart. 
• Other than Lissy and her mother, the dialogue and characters were indistinctive.
• Oh, and for some reason one character ends up bald after Lissy's trip back in time because in the new future he's in a bad marriage. Huh? 

But overall I enjoyed it. It kept me turning the pages to see what was going to happen next. I felt it was thought provoking, triggering a lot of what-ifs.

And, as I said, it was just funny! Lissy is telling the story and her running commentary is bold and hilarious. I laughed enough that I forgave Lancaster for assuming I must be a mean snob since I was voted Homecoming Queen.

If you get a chance to read it, I think you'll enjoy it. If nothing else, you'll give thanks your high school years are behind you.

What about you? Is there anything you would change if you could travel back in time?

P.S. This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are totally my own. Join the discussions on the book here.

 

Daring Greatly

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

~ Theodore Roosevelt, "Citizenship in a Republic,"
Speech at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910

 

I had never heard of this speech of Teddy's before reading Dr. Brene Brown's book, Daring Greatly, but now it's one of my favorite quotes. 

The title fits because the book deals with learning to live life Wholeheartedly... being engaged with the world around us, feeling joy and contentment, realizing the value of at least stepping into "the arena". It's about being vulnerable.

It reminded me of Kahlil Gibran's poem, On Joy and Sorrow...

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight..."

Unless we "dare greatly" and risk failure, unless we continue to challenge ourselves, how will we ever experience true success? How will we grow? 

But it's about so much more than that. This is a tough book review to write because there is a lot to wade through in Daring Greatly... sex, marriage, parenting, leadership, shame, bullies...  

It's written for everyone - business leaders, politicians, teachers, parents, students... anyone who wants to lead effectively or live passionately and joyfully - and parts of it are a bit too academic for me. It would be a good book to take in small bites. But most of it is very personable, as if Brene (I feel we're on a first-name basis now) sat beside me, sharing her stories.

(I happened to catch her on Katie Couric's new talk show last week, so I even know what her voice sounds like.)

This isn't a textbook or a self-help book or a touchy-feely Chicken Soup for the Soul book... it's an inspirational, motivating eye-opener and I recommend it to each and every one of you, and not just because this is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club. The opinions are totally my own.

 

The Book of Jonas

 

"What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world." ~ Robert E. Lee

In The Book of Jonas, author Stephen Dau reminds us that the devastation of war goes beyond a battlefield littered with debris and dead bodies: it indelibly stamps everyone involved. 

Dau illustrates this mostly through the story of Jonas, whose childhood village was destroyed by American soldiers, but also weaves in the stories of Christopher, one of those soldiers, and Rose, Christopher's mother. Through these three perspectives, Dau makes us ponder what we believe about justice, guilt, innocence, right and wrong.

It's a quietly powerful book. A multilayered story with multi-dimensional, multi-faceted characters. Dau is great at introducing a character, making us feel one way about him or her, then moving the camera so we see them from a different angle, triggering a different reaction.   

For me The Book of Jonas is more than a story about war and its effects. It's a lesson in life and love, illustrating how rarely anything is exactly what it seems to be, either black or white. Even our memories don't tell the whole truth, limited as they are by a single viewpoint and tainted by other similar memories.

It's a reminder that none of us lives in a vacuum. Our lives can be dramatically changed because of one decision... sometimes our own but often someone else's. We also can't just ignore the traumatic events that leave their stamps on us, hoping they'll go away. If we do, we become their prisoners.

"The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keep out the joy." ~ Jim Rohr

This is Stephen Dau's first book. I'm eager to read his next.

This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Born Wicked (Book Review)

"Our mother was a witch, too, but she hid it better. I miss her."

That's how Born Wicked by Jessica Spotswood opens, and I was hooked right away. One of the best openings I've ever read! She says so much in so few words.

Unfortunately, the book went downhill from there for me. If I hadn't agreed to write this review for the BlogHer Book Club with the stipulation that I finish reading the book first, I probably would have stopped after the first few chapters. There are just too many other books languishing on my to-be-read list to spend time on one that I don't enjoy, unless I'm given the book and compensated for my time.

Born Wicked is the story of three sisters, all witches forced to hide their powers. It's told in the voice of the eldest, sixteen-year-old Cate, who is trying to protect her little sisters and deal with two love interests simultaneously.

Why didn't I care for the book? It's not the genre or the age level - I love the Harry Potter series. It's the writing.

The narration is intrusive at times, breaking up the flow of scenes. Cate drones on and on, giving us explanations and back story that often merely restate what we just learned through dialog or action, in case we didn't get it the first time. Blah, blah, blah, boring. Too often Spotswood resorts to "telling" instead of "showing."

I dream of having my own book published, but I sure hope no one would let it slip through if I committed the same mistakes. 

The story is set in Massachusetts in the 1880's , but not the Massachusetts or the 1880's we're familiar with. Spotswood created her own world history, where witches founded the colonies for religious freedom but are now arrested and sent away to institutions when their powers are discovered. It's a man's world for sure.

And Dubai is important for some reason - it's mentioned several times in the first few chapters.

I feel the multiple random mentions of Dubai and the alternate history distracted from the story rather than added to it. Perhaps creating a whole new world would be better.

The premise of the story is interesting, and, as I mentioned, the opening is great. There are several parts in the book that reveal Spotswood's gift for writing, but I think overall the book could have used more editing and checks for consistency in character and plot. I can't help thinking it was rushed through, perhaps in hopes of catching the Twilight fans before they drift away to something else.

It has a strong Facebook fan page, and most of the other reviews were positive, so obviously it appeals to some people. But you won't find me reading Book 2 of The Cahill Witch Chronicles.  

This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own, as you've probably figured out.

 

Love, Life, and The Fault in Our Stars

I hesitated signing up to review The Fault in Our Stars by John Green for the BlogHer Book Club. The blurb said it was about a teenager with terminal cancer, and quite honestly, I wasn't sure if I could handle another book about death and dying. It feels like that's all I've been writing about lately.

But I did sign up for it, because I've enjoyed all of the other books I've read in the BHBC. I trusted them that this one would be just as good.

Well, I'm so glad I did. Green's characters - Hazel, Augustus, Isaac - are so real and fresh and funny that I totally fell in love with them. I could hardly put the book down.

Green tells their story without letting it muddle into a melodramatic tearjerker. Oh, I cried plenty of tears - it's a book about kids dealing with cancer and facing death, after all - but mostly I laughed and cheered and rejoiced.

The characters came to life for me, more than any other characters I've ever gotten to know and love. They felt genuine, and I think I'm qualified to judge, having raised three teenagers of my own in recent history.

Where other teenagers dream of their future, Green's characters wonder if they'll have a future beyond the next year... week... month. They realize the importance of the "here and now" because they know that may be all they get. And it reminded me that none of us is guaranteed more than the "here and now".

So, even though the main characters are teenagers, this book isn't just for young adults. The story goes straight to your heart, making it ageless. 

It's also a love story more than a cancer story. Love doesn't know anything about cancer, or oxygen tanks, or prosthetic legs - it's a straight heart-to-heart connection. And when so much in your life is out of your hands, it's a relief to have some sense of control over even a small aspect.

As Augustus says, "You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world, old man, but you do have some say in who hurts you."

This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club, but the opinions are my own. I really do love, love, love this book and its characters. If you've ever loved, loved, loved a book, join the discussion, "Which Books Do You Love?", HERE.

The Rules of Inheritance: a journey through grief

 

 

It's somehow fitting that I've been reading Claire Bidwell Smith's The Rules of Inheritance for the past few weeks.

Last night I dove into the final chapters, my mind still swirling with sorrow and joy that lingered from a quick trip to Houston for my cousin's funeral. Sorrow for friends and family wrapped tight in grief for the recent loss of their loved ones, including a dear friend whose husband just died, and joy from time spent with my parents, sister, and cousins I rarely see. 

I arrived home just in time to attend Ash Wednesday services, where Father Don reminded us of our mortality, of the importance of not squandering the gift of life we've been given, but to find a way to give back. 

Through all of this, Smith's book was on my mind, because it deals with life and death and grief. Mostly her own grief. When Smith was fourteen, both of her parents were diagnosed with cancer. Her mother died when Smith was eighteen and then, just seven years later, she watched her father take his last breath.

Smith takes us along on her heart-wrenching and courageously candid journey, but as tragic as it is, underneath is an unspoken glimmer of hope that kept me turning the pages. I knew she survived this dark passage of her life... I could tell that she was writing it from a patch of light that gave her strength to venture back in, in order to share her story with us.

But I couldn't imagine how she did it. I wanted to know. I needed to know.

How do you face the grief without letting it swallow you? How do you continue when you've lost your "most important person"?

I've felt grief and loss. Two sisters-in-law. My oldest brother. All of my grandparents. Aunts, uncles, cousins. Close friends.

But my parents and my husband's parents are all still alive... still voices on the other end of the phone... still just a hop in the car and a few hours' drive away.  Except for my brother, we have all ten of our siblings. All of our children.

Mostly, we still have each other.

But life is so fragile. In little over a year, six of my friends have become widows. Several of my classmates from high school, former co-workers, and now my cousin have died in the past year as well, while others have lost their parents. 

Smith was young when she lost her parents, but is there ever an age when you're prepared for that void in your life?

I feel blessed. Grateful. And lucky. But I also feel a twinge of guilt that makes me stumble over the right words. Smith says "If you haven't been through a major loss, then the truth is that you just don't know what to say to someone who has." 

She talks about the friends that gathered around her in her father's last days. Just their physical presence, their touch, helped her get through it. I remember how much it meant to me when I looked up at my brother's funeral and spotted my girlfriends.

Even if I don't know what to say, I'll try harder to be physically present.

I also won't pass judgement. I won't tell anyone it's time to get on with their lives, but will try to just listen. "Our grief is as individual as our lives," Smith says. 

Simone Weil said "All sins are attempts to fill voids."

Smith's reactions to her parents' illnesses and deaths certainly proves this to be true. She relates with raw honesty her futile attempts to fill the void. I'm amazed she not only survived, but managed to settle her father's estate, get her degree, and hold jobs while traveling the dark and gritty path of her teens and twenties.

I recommend this book to anyone who is actively grieving, but also to anyone who has struggled with depression, loneliness, bad relationships, trying to find the right path, or just trying to figure out who they really are. They'lll be able to identify with her story, too, whether or not they've suffered loss such as hers.

It's not until years later that Smith allows her grief to bubble to the surface or is able to recognize Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's five stages of grief in her dark journey.

Now a grief counselor, Smith used the stages of grief as the framework for her memoir. It isn't a linear story, but jumps from one episode in her life to another, back and forth, but told in the present tense, allowing us to experience the moment through her eyes. 

Some of the episodes are repeated with slight differences; I didn't understand this until near the last chapter when she explains the stages are just a frame to work with. "You may never experience all of them. You may go through them out of order or sometimes find yourself in more than one of them at the same time." 

Life and death go hand in hand. Personal loss is waiting for each of us around one of the corners, just ahead. I believe reading Smith's book will help anyone prepare for the inevitable grief that comes with life... and to believe that it's possible to eventually get to the other side of grief and continue on.

At the end of the book, Smith describes walking in on her husband and young daughter having a tea party. She wants to freeze that moment, but knows she can't. She knows time will pass, along with many others, that they'll all grow old and die. 

But her father's words, spoken shortly before his last breath, resonate through her words. I know she believes them and I do, too:

"Life is worth living."

 

 

 

 

This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are totally my own.

 

 

 

Returning to Me

With the birth of my first child, my ego, dreams, and most other aspects of Me as I knew Me sloughed off like a snake skin, forgotten. I was a Mother now! That tiny little being depended on me and by golly, that's all that mattered.

Within a few years, I had two more little beings depending on me. Throughout my thirties and most of my forties, I was just Mom. Busy, practical and unselfish.

Oh, I toyed with my old dreams. Took a few classes at the community college. Had some essays published. Met my girlfriends for dinner and a movie every once in a while. Worked some part-time jobs.

For years I held onto enough ego to battle my body over the same 15 pounds, but when semi-daily walks with my dogs, periodic lifting of light weights and eating healthy-ish didn't make a difference, I finally gave up and accepted my body as it was.

I was way too mature and sensible to care that the varicose veins on my right leg were so bad a new friend asked if I'd been in a car wreck, thinking they were horrible scars. I cringed a bit myself when I looked at them, but I hated to be so vain and selfish as to undergo the pain and expense of surgery. There were so many other things we needed.

Then my oldest son left for college.

Oh, my heart ached! For days I would suddenly burst into tears over the pain; it hurt so badly! One day I realized my tears weren't falling just because I missed my son; that's what triggered them, but my tears fell because I could suddenly feel Life, as I knew it, changing. Soon, my two youngest would follow their big brother out of the nest.

I would always be a mother, but I knew the end of my days as Mom was just a few years away. It made me feel...old. And I wondered, if I'm not Mom anymore, what will I be? Who will I be?

Some might call what happened next a case of the MidLife Crazies. I just call it Returning to Me.

You can be anything you want to be. I had told my kids that over and over because I believed it, and now was my chance to act on it. I would be Me. The best Me possible, for as long as possible. I wasn't ready to be old.

I took bits from each of my previous selves: the spoiled youngest child, the tomboy, the homecoming queen, the scholar, the thinker, the independent woman, the dancer, the newlywed, the mother, the daughter, friend, the volunteer, the writer, the photographer, and even, thanks to my husband, the wanna-be drummer.

Dusting off my dreams, I signed up for college classes, one per semester. Over the next few years, I started a blog and began teaching myself digital photography. I wrote a screenplay, polished up one book, and started another.

I reconnected with friends, other women who were going through the same changes I was experiencing, including friends I'd known since childhood, before any of us were wives or mothers. They helped me rediscover the Me I was back then.

I made my own health a priority, scheduling time every day for a workout. I began running again for the first time in years. Part of my motivation was ego, I admit, but I knew others still depended on me; I needed to be in the best shape possible so I could take care of them. Heart disease runs in my family. I wanted to be a good example to my kids, who carry the same genes.

My hair was thinning at an alarming rate, so I educated myself about nutrition and made huge changes in my diet. It didn't have any affect on my hair, but between those changes and my stepped-up physical work-outs, I finally dropped those 15 pounds I'd given up on. What a great surprise!

With my ego fully out of the closet, I treated myself to varicose vein surgery for my 47th birthday, deciding I was too young to wear nothing but ankle-length dresses the rest of my life.

All of these changes acted as defensive armor just in the nick of time, preparing me for the assault of menopause. I've experienced a few hot flashes, but not the mood swings, weight gain, severe sweats, or disrupted sleep some of my friends complain about.

My kids have all flown the nest now; but instead of crying, I feel like I'm flying with them.

The people at Pfizer are interested in helping all of us find our wings and keep flying through these strange, trying, wonderful midlife years and hope to accomplish that through their "Return to You" program, a program aimed at helping women return to their best selves.

Have YOU had a Return to You moment? Please share it with me in the comments; I'd love to hear your story!

Visit the Pfizer Return to You page on BlogHer.com for more blogger stories and prepare to be inspired!

"The Best Laid Schemes..." (What happened to Monday and Tuesday?)

According to my calendar, I'm in Galveston right now, visiting my friend Ann, finally getting to see the cute little Victorian house she's fixing up and browsing through some wonderful eclectic shops.

Things don't always go according to plan, though, do they?

Instead of strolling the tourist-free beaches and staying up late talking and laughing with my dear friend, I've spent the past two days glued to this old computer, spending hours and hours on projects that should have only taken half the time.

(I'm beginning to wonder if shoveling coal into it might make it go any faster. I don't think it could hurt!)

Ann's free days evaporated, too, anyway, complicated by family schedules. We're going to try again in the next month or two. Why are our lives still so complicated?

I'm grateful for the work that's keeping me glued to the computer, though. One is a photo shoot from a couple of weeks ago that forced me to learn Lightoom. I'm by no means an expert, but I've learned so much, thanks to tutorials and photography friends (thank you, Beth!) and learning something new is so much fun! (And frustrating. And agonizing.)

Unfortunately, one thing I've learned is that my E: drive on my computer has gone kaputz. Nothing like a few hurdles in your path to keep you on your toes, right?

The second project was a review for BlogHer with a quick turnaround, as in, I learned about it yesterday and the deadline was this morning. And I (pretty much) turned it in on time. Ahem.

It wasn't a typical product review... more of a personal essay on health and aging and menopause, so I was happy I was chosen for the project.

I can't believe it's already Wednesday, though. Here are a few highlights from the past few days...

 

My mother turned 80! Middle-son Daniel went with me for the celebration at my parents' house. I enjoy road trips with Daniel - he helps me find good radio stations and doesn't mind me singing along loudly, even when I don't really know the words. 

It was a quick visit with family, highlighted by fried Gulf shrimp, birthday cake, breakfast by Daddy, plenty of coffee, Mexican food, and my mother in a birthday sombrero... 

...which matches this one of my dad from last month...

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Oldest-son Tommy ran his first full marathon! If you knew all the nights I stayed up with him while he struggled to breathe with his asthma, you'd really understand how very proud I am! And how relieved I was that he crossed that line, safe and sound and breathing!

This photo was snapped by his sweetheart, Kirby. She completed her second half-marathon that day. 

Yay, Tommy and Kirby!

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I won a blog drawing!! This cute cup featuring a 'doodle' by Cyndee at Eloise's Collage arrived in my mailbox Friday. I love it! Thank you, Cyndee! 

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Remember the Thanksgiving Comes First campaign? Thanks to Suldog, I found out about a petition to "Tell Target to Save Thanksgiving". If you want to add your name, click HERE.

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It rained yesterday! I mean, really and truly rained!

Well, not enough to capture a photo of the actual rain, but I did get one this morning of a dew-covered wildflower...

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Last but not least, Hilary at the Smitten Image awarded me a Post of the Week for As if I were beside you... Thank you, Hilary!

(Click the icon below to go read the other POTW and see her wonderful photography.)

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I hope you're having a wonderful week, even if your plans went agley like mine!

(At least I wasn't left with "nought but grief an' pain"...)

 

...The best-laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft agley,
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
For promis'd joy!

~from To a Mouse by Robert Burnes

Love at First Bark

I start almost every morning with a walk down my dirt road with Belle and Max. Their joie de vivre is palpable. Contagious.

I'm addicted to these walks, to watching my "puppies" greet each new day with passion and energy and optimism. 

Max and Belle were both strays who wandered up to strange houses with a dog's pure faith they would be helped. At the time each of them entered our lives, I didn't think I wanted any more dogs. Too expensive, too constraining of our time, too much heartbreak when they die.

Now I give thanks every morning and several times during the day - well, anytime I look into those big brown eyes - that God brought these little black and brown angels into our lives. He knew just what we needed.

He always does. And Max and Belle remind me of that every day.

 

When I was young, the sight of a stray dog broke my heart. Molded by stories like "Black Beauty", "Old Yeller" and "Call of the Wild", where animals struggle to find a good home,  I dreamed that when I grew up, I'd own a ranch where I could take in every stray I found.

Well, I grew up. The cost for housing, food and medical issues alone for that dream to come true snapped me back to reality. It didn't help that I'm allergic to animals. I'd need a fortune just to buy all that Benadryl.

So you can see why I jumped at the chance to review ("read for free") Julie Klam's book Love at First Bark, for the BlogHer Book Club, especially when the subtitle read "How Saving a Dog Can Sometimes Help You Save Yourself".

I know how true that statement is, that dogs can help you save yourself...

Max came along just when my oldest headed off to college and the other two were close on his heels. Did you know that a goofy German Shepherd-Great Dane puppy is very similar to a 4-year-old? Max became my perpetual 4-year-old and eagerly accepted all the baby talk and (s)mothering attention my human kids had outgrown, making my transition to Empty Nest so much easier. 

Belle came along just in time to save Max, who was despondent after our old dog Charly's death. She revived the "puppy" in him. (Saving Max = saving me. Thank you, Belle!)

However, except for the first chapter where Julie describes how helping an abandoned pit bull essentially saved her marriage, the rest of the book just relates different dog rescues. It's a good book, peppered with Julie's humor, but it didn't grab me the way I thought it would. It felt passive and inconsistent, sort of rushed. 

What keeps it a "good" book in my opinion, and why I believe it's worth reading, is the well-deserved recognition it gives to unsung heroes around the country who are essentially living my dream of helping stray dogs, either through rescues or by adoption or foster care.

Before reading this, I didn't have a clue there were so many organizations (all understaffed and underfunded, of course) and individuals who go miles out of their way to help. Hearing the lengths they go to just to rescue one dog is inspiring. Kudos to Julie and all of the others who do this regularly, who think nothing of adding an incontinent dog to their already large collection of pooches or run through a swamp and duck under a train to help a stray with a jar stuck on its head.

So if you want information about dog rescues or rescuers, I recommend it. But if you're hoping for heartwarming, life-changing stories that send you scrambling for a box of tissue, look somewhere else... after you read the first chapter about Morris the Pit Bull, that is.

Full Disclosure: I was compensated for this BlogHer Book Club review but all opinions expressed are my own.

How to Be an American Housewife

No, I'm not trying to give anyone advice here! (Those who know me would laugh! Especially Tom!)

How to Be an American Housewife by Margaret Dilloway is the latest selection for the BlogHer Book Club. It's a story about forgiveness, perserverence, understanding, examining your life and following your dreams.

All the things I love to write about!

Dilloway draws on her own family history to weave this tale of Shoko, a Japanese War Bride who comes to America with her Navy man husband, Charlie, after World War II, hoping for a new life but facing prejudice and ostracism. Her husband gives her a book, more of a manual, I guess, to help her adjust - How to Be an American Housewife.

The story begins in Shoko's 60-something voice describing her yearning to return to Japan to see her brother, Taro, who disowned her for marrying an American. She takes us back to their childhood; shares with us her dreams, goals and heartbreaks; explains how she met Charlie and the challenges she faced in America. She's in ill health, suffering for years from a weak heart, possibly caused by radiation, and now faces a life-threatening surgery.

Shoko has dreamed of returning to Japan someday, but life continually intervened. First, she couldn't afford it. And then, when she manages to stash away enough money, her heart isn't strong enough to make the trip. But she's determined to make contact with Taro, and turns to her daughter, Sue, to travel to Japan in her place.

This is where Sue takes up the story. 

Sue and Shoko have never had a close relationship, but she is still concerned for her mother and sees how important it is to her to make amends with Taro before she dies. She agrees to make the trip, along with her teenage daughter, Helena. While in Japan, Sue is not only able to understand her mother better, but her own dreams are reawakened.

Although Shoko wanted to be a good mother, she fell short at times due to her health, her age, cultural differences and her own strong personality. But this trip is exactly what Sue needs and by giving it to her, I feel any mistakes Shoko made along the way are redeemed.

As a mother, I can identify with both Shoko and Sue, wanting to be the best I can be but knowing I fall short too often. Like them, I also have dreams I still hope come true; I liked the message this gave of never giving up on them, that there's no expiration date on dreams.

This isn't just a mother-daughter story, though. Dilloway provides a little something for everyone. I'm a history buff and enjoyed hearing about life in Japan during World War II.  I also love a good love story and this one didn't disappoint me in that category, either.

So I suggest you read it, and if you do, let me know what you thought about it!

(To learn more about the book and the author, and to join in further conversations on BlogHer, click here. Oh, and I was compensated for this BlogHer Book Club review but all opinions expressed are my own.)

Slow Love

The last two chapters of Dominique Browning's memoir Slow Love prove she's a talented writer. They're poetic, original, descriptive, wistful and hopeful. A true joy to read. 

However, if I hadn't promised to finish reading her memoir before writing this review for the BlogHer Book Club, I would have tossed it aside after the first few chapters because of unnecessary details, a confusing timeline, and my own pure frustration. 

Editor-in-chief of House & Garden magazine when it folded in 2007, Browning was also mired in a longterm relationship with a legally-separated man who refused to leave his wife. Despite the explanations and excuses Browning offers, I couldn't understand how someone her age at her level of success didn't wave goodbye to him long before.

Slow Love describes her depression and journey back to the surface, but as much as I wanted to, I had a tough time finding sympathy for her. For one thing, losing her job didn't throw her into the financial crisis it would so many others. She was very fortunate.

But perhaps I couldn't identify with her because I've been in a constant state of employment transition for more than thirty years and never based my self-worth on any of my jobs.  Perhaps it's because I learned decades ago that a woman doesn't need a man to be "complete", that you can't change people or depend on them for your happiness.

Perhaps I'm the fortunate one, after all.

"And now for something completely different..." Kitchen Tales, a Recipe and Post #1000!

When I was growing up, if I stepped one foot in the kitchen, my grandmother would suddenly appear beside me to see what I was doing. It didn't matter if I waited until she was in her bedroom with the door closed playing the piano and belting out "Oh, What a Friend We Have in Jesus", she would somehow sense a presence in her territory and promptly investigate.

Mam-ma wasn't ugly about it. She didn't forbid me to cook. She would even sometimes sense my uneasiness under her watchful eye and try to give me some space, ducking around the corner to the livingroom and only peering at me around the door frame, but before long she would be back inside, hovering at my shoulder. She just couldn't help it!

Needless to say, I didn't learn much about cooking back then, beyond what was taught in my one semester of 7th grade Cooking Class with Mrs. McDonald. By the time I was out on my own, with my very own kitchen, I was on a perpetual diet. I learned to bake chicken, steam broccoli and even made Magic Cookie Bars and a broccoli-cheese casserole for a company Christmas party, but otherwise I lived on dry roasted peanuts, picante sauce and chips, and microwaved baked potatoes. Quick and easy.

After Tom and I married, I began experimenting with recipes on my days off. I loved cooking - if I had a whole day to devote to it, that is. I scoured magazines for new recipes to try...

Then the children arrived; it was back to quick and easy and trying to cook something everyone liked. Pre-boxed, pre-jarred... even pre-cooked. The more "pre's" there were, the better! 

In recent years, I've cut out all of those "pre's" - I'm trying to eat healthy. But I still like "quick and easy". Cooking, and the inevitable cleaning up, are way down below writing and photography and playing the drums for me, so when preparing a meal lands on my shoulders, it's usually grilled chicken and fresh salad. (Tom will say it's always grilled chicken and fresh salad. And he might be right!)

So why in the heck did I sign up to develop a recipe with Knorr Chicken Stock for BlogHer? Not just cook something, mind you, but develop a new recipe?

Because the top recipes win an all-expense paid trip to the upcoming BlogHer Convention, which I could never afford otherwise, that's why.

But, seriously, what was I thinking? I couldn't win. It's not that I think I'm incapable - it's just not something I'm 'into' right now. You name it and cooking is way down below it. And then there's the time thing. I'm already stretched so thin there are days I think I'm going to POP!

I thought about backing out of it. But thinking about it is as far as I got on that because... well, I gave my word, for one thing. And also, it became a new challenge, a way to grow in an area I've sorely neglected. 

I believe learning and growing and challenging yourself is what this 50 decade is all about, so for two weeks, I tossed ideas around in my head, trying to come up with something new.

That's really, really hard, you know it?

I noticed the chef at the winery creating dishes using roasted cauliflower and that gave me an idea. I had tons of cauliflower in the fridge. I would just roast a bunch and then... hmmm. Then what?

I eventually did come up with a mostly-original recipe. Only 'mostly-original' because I adapted one of my old standbys from when all the kids lived at home, a recipe I got from a co-worker years ago: "Terry Boer's Chicken and Rice Casserole." (I kept it in a recipe box next to "Hoi Tranh's Butterfly Shrimp" and "Larry Corona's Manicotti" and "Jim Josey's Cheeseburger Pie." I loved working with guys who could cook!)

And I really love casseroles because you just toss everything together in one pan, slip it into the oven and let it cook.

But Terry's recipe wasn't very healthy. That was my challenge...

His called for buttering the pan. I used olive oil. His used white rice. I replaced it with organic, gluten-free short grain brown rice. Instead of a whole cut-up chicken that his recipe called for, I used boneless, skinless chicken breasts. Instead of two cans of 'cream of..." soup, I used Knorr's low-fat chicken stock. Instead of dried onion soup, I used fresh onion and other spices.

Then I added my own twist, adding lots of cauliflower, broccoli and mushrooms.

Guess what - it was good! Even TG and Tom agreed, although I think Tom still prefers Terry's (unhealthy) version.

So maybe it doesn't totally qualify for the contest, since it's more of an adaptation than a totally original recipe, but even if I'm disqualified, I feel good about the whole experience. My cooking confidence has been restored - although I think I'll still let Tom retain the Kitchen Crown. 

So without further ado, here's the completed recipe for, um, what should I name it? How about... "Barbara's Chicken, Veggie and Brown Rice Casserole"? Well, not very original, but my brain is tired. It'll have to do. 

Hope you enjoy it!

 

Barbara's Chicken, Veggie and Brown Rice Casserole

Ingredients

1 lb. Monterrey mushrooms, sliced

1/2 broccoli crown, cut into chunks

1/2 head cauliflower, cut into chunks

1 whole onion, chopped

3 lbs. boneless, skinless chicken breasts (about 5 breasts)

2 1/2 cups of chicken stock made from Knorr homestyle concentrated stock

1 1/2 cups of brown rice

1/2 tsp. dry mustard

1 tsp. garlic salt

1 tsp. black pepper

1/2 tsp. cayenne pepper

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Prepare chicken stock. Coat bottom of 9 x 13 pan with olive oil. Pour 1 1/2 cups of stock into pan. Add 1 1/2 cups of rice, covering bottom of pan. Place chicken on top of rice. Mix seasonings together and sprinkle on chicken, then top with  onions, mushrooms, cauliflower and broccoli. Pour remaining chicken stock on top.

Cover with foil and bake for 1 1/2 hours. Remove foil and bake for 15 minutes. Allow to sit for 5 minutes before serving.

Serves 8 to 10.

(If you make it, let me know what you think!)

 

And now, for something ELSE completely different...

 

 This was my 1000th post on Long Hollow! Whoo-hoo!!

It's hard for me to believe, but I'm sure my stats don't lie. Thank you to anyone out there who has actually read even half of them!

 

 

 

 

Makin' a list and checkin' it twice...

List-mode -noun  A state of being wherein a moderately organized compulsive listmaker falls behind on things she needs to do, usually due to a weekend out of town with her girlfriends, and can't help but make more lists in a feeble attempt to get caught up without forgetting something important.

 

1. Sigh.

2. The weekend was totally worth it, though. Just hanging out with my girlfriends around the pool, sipping margaritas and talking, talking, talking would have made my current harried frenzy worth it, but my weekend journey had some other high spots in it as well.

3. If you're a blogger or on Facebook or FlickR or Twitter or some other social media I've never heard of, you've probably made lots of friends that, chances are, you'll never meet in person. Well, this weekend I got to meet one of those previously "virtual" friends, Debbie, who I connected with a few months ago on FlickR. On my way into Houston Friday, she met me for lunch.

4. It is so cool to see a person you've only known through words or photos sitting right there in front of you, face to face. We had a wonderful visit, but, of course, it was too short. 

5. We'll have to do it again, Debbie!!

6. My Diva weekend will get its own post (eventually!) but I want to mention one thing about it now because I think it's such a great idea.

7. We celebrated Leslie's birthday on Saturday, but instead of presents, she requested bags of dog and cat food that she could donate to an animal shelter. Isn't that a great idea?

8. You rock, Leslie!! 

9. (Here she is between her goddaughter, Georgie, and our sweet animal-loving hostess Rae, who took the food to her local shelter.)

 

10. Sunday I spent several hours with my parents before heading home, and for close to four of those hours I listened to - and recorded - my parents' stories and memories.

11. I'm convinced there's no better heirloom or legacy, and can't wait to go back to capture more of that treasure. 

12. Doesn't Daddy look cute in his suspenders? 

13. Do you remember me telling you I'm part of the BlogHer Book Club? Well, my latest book review was published today on BlogHer, about Sarah Dessen's What Happened to Goodbye? Click HERE to read my full review.  

14. Guess what? I'm a finalist in Jillsy Girl's June Water Challenge! Voting continues until June 29th so go HERE to vote! (Don't feel you have to vote for me - click on each of the entries and pick whichever one you like.)

15. Some people truly amaze me, and Gina Calvert is one of those people, constantly spreading herself thin to help someone else. Her latest venture is for Girls on the Run, a non-profit prevention program that helps preteen girls develop self-respect and health lifestyles through running.

16. Gina, who isn't a runner yet, plans to run a 5K in just a few months to raise money for the program. (I should mention at this point that Gina is 51!)

17.Please click HERE to read more about Girls on the Run. (Even if you don't think you can or will donate, you should read Gina's post about it. She's a wonderful writer!) 

18. Whew! I think that's enough for tonight...

19. Thank you.

It's not too late!

Have you entered the $100 Visa card giveaway yet?

The one sponsored by BlogHer and Purina where all you have to do is click on this link HERE to go to my review blog and leave me a comment telling me about a special moment you share with your dog or dogs each day? If you haven't, you're running out of time! 

So go! Hurry! Do it now! The comments close tomorrow evening.

I hope you win! (Please share your comment here, too!) 

Gratuitous photos of my cute puppies...

Rambling on a Monday in May

Before I was fully awake this morning, I started the coffee brewing and switched on the television.

Up popped the devastation in Joplin, Missouri - that hospital with blown windows surrounded by mangled vehicles, toothpick trees and piles of rubbish ... the videos, the woman's voice praying "Help us, Jesus..."

After saying a prayer for all of those affected, I vowed never to complain about the weather here again.  

****************************

 May is almost over and I'm feeling paranoid. 

The past two Mays have given me belated birthday presents that I wouldn't re-gift to my worst enemy.

For my 50th birthday, May gave me a case of shingles which came with an MRI because of the headaches that heralded its arrival and steroid drops for my eyes so I wouldn't go blind.

Last year I guess May felt it had to top the previous one. First, it gave me the worst urinary tract infection of my life. (It was actually only my second ever, but the first one, thirty years ago, was so bad I took every precaution to avoid another.)

I thought that was it (thank you so much!), but then just a week or so later my heart went crazy, pounding and racing so hard and fast that it woke me up. I thought it was going to fly out of my chest! Follow up tests concluded it was  SVT, or Supraventricular Tachycardia, basically an electrical short circuit in my heart that causes it to pound and race. 

I haven't had another episode, or any other health scares, but then, May isn't over yet, is it? I'm just hoping this "Welcome to your 50's" initiation phase is over.

 ***************************************

My book review for A Jane Austen Education went live on BlogHer this evening (along with several others, if you want more than one opinion!)

I've been thinking about the book again today, mostly thinking it's a shame Jane Austen isn't required reading for everyone. Some people learn the lessons about life on their own that William Deresiewicz, the author, learned from the books, but I know quite a few people who have never learned them, such as the one he learned from Pride and Prejudice: we aren't born perfect and there are some lessons we have to learn on our own in order to grow. We can't learn them from other people. We have to experience our own failure.

I know this was certainly true for me when I was young (and maybe it's still true!). I wish it hadn't been - I wish I'd had the sense to take the advice of those older and more experienced than I was. I hope I have a teeny bit of that sense myself now.

Which reminds me... I saw a blurb on the news today that some state is considering holding parents responsible when their child gets a bad grade. Huh? Maybe I heard it wrong, but if it's true, don't they realize they're just giving parents more reason to do their kids' work for them or encourage them to cheat or that we'd be keeping kids from learning life lessons they need later on? Don't they realize no one is born perfect and everyone has a different path to follow? A different time line?

Where are these people coming from?  Why do some people think their way is the only way? 

Oops. Sorry.

Anyway, click HERE to read my review on BlogHer... and go read some Jane Austen!

******************************

 As far as Mondays go, this hasn't been a great one. Okay, it truly sucked in places (and I don't use that 's' word lightly.)

But I'm still keeping my eyes open for those Sweet! moments and keeping my feet moving forward, even though I don't know what's ahead of me.

These quotes help, so I'm going to add them here in case one of you needs a little 'faith reminder'. (I need them a lot - that's why I collect these quotes!)

"Suppose you plant a garden, and after a few days, you don't see results. Do you dig it up again? No, because you know that a lot of things are going on that you can't see. It's the same with God."

~ Charles Stanley, American Baptist preacher

"Patience with others is love, patience with self is hope, patience with God is faith." 

~ADEL BESTAVROS Egyptian deacon and lawyer

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."

~Proverbs 3:5-6

 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

~Jeremiah 29:11

"God often closes a door before opening a new one. Between those doors, don't worry. Wait, worship and watch! It's a test of faith. Colossians 4:3"

- Rick Warren

"Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted, in spite of your changing moods."

~C.S. Lewis

 "Hope is wishing for something to come true. Faith is belief that it will come true. Believe that for every problem God gives you, He will also provide you with a solution."

Anyone know who said that? I love it!

But this is my favorite, and the one that truly keeps me going...

Everything works out in the end. If it hasn't worked out yet, it's not the end.

~Author Unknown

**********************************

And for me, this is proof of that nugget of truth... the path might be tough, but if you keep going, you just might get fireworks in your honor! (The last of my graduation photos, I promise. Here, anyway. I'll post the rest on "Confessions".) 

 

It's Our 49th Anniversary! (Sweet! #9)

Yes, we've been married for 49 "Friday the 13th"s now, starting with our wedding day.

Tom is the one keeping count. This afternoon he greeted me with "Happy 49th Anniversary!" 

I don't know how he does it - I can barely keep track of my age these days, but it makes me feel good that he does; it's easier to ignore him when he's grumpy and helps me overlook all of those empty Diet Coke cans and various tools left lying about.

Knowing you matter to someone else and they're glad you're in their life.... Sweet! #9

So we're celebrating tonight! I paid bills and he headed into the garage to start cleaning up in there.

Nah, just kidding.

Oh, we really did those things, but that's not the celebration. I just knew better than to procrastinate those bills. Now I've got to finish reading A Jane Austen Education by William Deresiewicz for my latest BlogHer Book Club Review (due this weekend! Argh!) and THEN we'll snuggle up and watch a movie together and I'll try hard not to fall asleep. 

(Disclosure: I'm an Amazon Affiliate, so if you click on that link and buy the book from Amazon, I get a few pennies for my piggy bank.)

It's Friday, so here are my favorite photos of the week, for obvious reasons if you've been keeping up with the state of the Hollow...

Hope you've had a wonderful Friday the 13th!

P.S. I waited until I had permission to post this. It's another wonderful story - I hate to admit it, but better than mine - of why 13 has been given a bad rap and can actually be a lucky number...

When I first went to M.D.Anderson 34 years ago, the patient number they assigned me (which you keep forever) was 131313. I took one look and thought, "Oh, no, you don't... I won't take that number!" Then just as quick, I thought, "Wait a minute... are you going to be superstitious or are you going to trust in God." So I kept the number and although there has been a few bumps in the road, I'm still here enjoying life all these 34 years later. And what a wonderful life it has been; I can say that there are very few things on my Bucket List that I haven't achieved in those years. Also, through all these years, every time I check-in for all the multitude of tests each year, they all look at that 131313 and say, "Oh, my goodness, I would NEVER have accepted that number!" which gives me a chance to speak of God and faith. I would say that the number 13 (in triple no less) has NOT been unlucky for me. God is good.

Amen! Thank you for letting me share your story, MJ! (Anyone else have a good Lucky 13 story? I want to hear it!)

 

Spring Fever Frenzy and Sweet! #1

Frenzy is my word of the week, (where's my copy of Pearl Jam's song Just Breathe?) so please forgive me if this post seems a little harried and unorganized. If it jumps around a bit, it's just a reflection of my life right now, hopscotching from one project to the next in haphazard order.

Tom and I have two Major Events coming up this month - another Shake Russell home concert and Daniel's graduation - just the kind of matches we need to light fires under our butts and get us moving on projects we should have tackled months ago.

Why, oh why do we procrastinate?

You would be amazed by how much Tom and I can ignore around our house - he always has half a dozen projects in various stages going on simultaneously and after almost 30 years together, I've learned to ignore random tools and pieces of equipment left lying in odd places. 

One reason I ignore it all is because, if he dares say anything about my own piles of unorganized junk or projects-in-progress, I have ammunition. We've learned to be very accepting of each other's idiosyncrasies.

When Major Events appear on the calendar, though, that helps us see our home from a visitor's point of view and YIKES, our priorities shift. I haven't even gotten to the 'cleaning' part - for some reason, I've got it in my head I need to sort through boxes, clean up my office-to-be, my closet, cabinets... 

It's not that I think anyone will care, but I have to use this rare fever while I have it.

So, what I didn't do this past weekend: 

• Work on my book.
• Dance, play ping-pong or my drums.
• Load Photoshop Elements on my computer. (I'm hesitating because, from experience with my computer, I know it won't be as easy as clicking a few buttons. I need a chunk of time to work on this.)
• Finalize the name for my new venture. If I get any chunks of time, this is what I've been spending them on. Even though I work for a naming company, I had no idea it would take me this long to pick one. I'm really afraid I'm overthinking it. I've narrowed it down to three, though, and now have to figure out how to register it. There are so many things involved in starting a business - yikes!
• Attend my friend Jacque's college graduation Saturday morning. I fully intended to - I got up early, showered, dressed and was ready to head out the door, but stopped to double check directions to where I thought it was being held Turns out, it was on a totally different highway than she told me in her graduation-eve excitement, much farther than I realized. I should have googled it the night before and gotten up earlier. There was no way I could make it there in time.

What I did accomplish, outside of the normal routine:

• Unloaded a ton of stuff at Goodwill. I was going to stop after the graduation ceremony, anyway. Tom and I had already loaded up my car with bags and boxes of things to donate.
• Treated myself to a pedicure and manicure. Unusual for someone in a frenzy, I know, but the salon is next door to Goodwill. I'm 52, but I can count the number of pedicures I've had in my life on one hand - I think this was number 5 - and this was only the second manicure I've ever had. The other one was part of a spa day gift from Tom in honor of my 30th birthday. (What is wrong with me?)
• Promised myself I won't wait another year for a pedicure, or another 22 years for a manicure.
• Made a few baby steps of progress on starting my business. No, I didn't finalize the name, but I made progress. That's what I have to focus on.
• Sorted through several boxes of stuff and weeded out more stuff to give away. I'm a hoarder collector, but I'm started to have pity on my kids when they have to go through my things later. (Of course, if Tom's still around, it'll be easy on them. He'll just dump it all or burn it.)
• Paid bills and made a dent in the laundry. (No explanation needed here - these things never wait patiently.) 

Tom spent most of Saturday on a Habitat-for-Humanity type project. It's not HFH, but a similar program his company partners with a few times a year. He loves using his carpentry skills to help people.

On his way home he picked up a new (to us) elliptical trainer and stationary bike he found on Craig's List. We have our own little gym again, for less than the cost of a gym membership. Yay, Tom! 

He's putting his Craig's List truck to good use!

On the Today Show this week, I found out about something that apparently everyone else already knows about - 1000 Awesome Things.

How did I miss this? Especially as a blogger? (If you, like me, have had your head in the ground lately and haven't heard about this, click on that link above and take a look - but then come back!)

Actually, what I want to know, is why didn't I think of this myself?

Even though I didn't, I'm going to blatantly steal borrow Neil Pasricha's premise and start looking on the bright side of things every day. Considering my current frenzied state, I think it will do me some good.

I also want to set a good example for my kids and prove to them that no matter how bad things get in a day, it's possible to find one little "sweet!" moment. I honestly believe that.

I apologize in advance because this means I might have two posts in a single day right here on Long Hollow, plus another one on Confessions. I forgive you if you don't always read them or comment, but I would like to hear about your "sweet!" moments too, if you have the time to share them. From here on out, I'll write them as separate posts and keep them in the Sweet! category so I can go back and remember little rays of sunshine on those dark days.

 So here we go with Sweet #1 (drumroll please)...

... Getting an email from my son just to say he loves me - and to tell me he has no cavities. When your grown children take charge of their lives, it can be so hard to let go, especially in those health care areas. After years of intensive, organized, methodical mothering and worrying over their health - doctor and dentist check-ups, prescriptions, etc. - you watch them fly out of the nest to other regions with unknown doctors and dentists and you can only pray they continue to take care of themselves. 

It took the suspicion of a cavity, but he did it. Sweet!

 

 

 

Thank you, BlogHer!

I think I've mentioned this before - I'm a book addict. I have boxes and boxes of books stacked in the boys' rooms downstairs, waiting for the library Tom has promised me  (and promised me... and promised me...)

(Okay, in his defense, he built this whole house ... even finished out my closet while he barely has a rod to hang his shirts on, so I understand a proper home for my beloved books isn't high on the priority list. Really I do. Sigh.) 

Anyway, back to my addiction...

Books fill windowsills and mismatched bookshelves that are scattered around the house. Books are stacked on tables, fill cabinets... you get the picture. I just can't throw a book away or resist "adopting" a homeless one (for the right price, anyway.)

But I think I've also already mentioned that I don't take time to read anymore - not books, anyway. Not often. I have good intentions and dream of reading all of the books I adopt, but the reality is they sit waiting, neglected, while I spend my hours trying to make money and chase the dreams I've put off for so long.

I miss reading a good book. There's nothing like it, getting sucked into the pages, caught up in the lives of the characters, becoming oblivious to everything around you, laughing, crying, getting mad.

Growing up I spent hours reading, and when the kids were younger we shared dozens of books over the years, 30 minutes at a time, every single night. When they got older, summers would find me next to the pool with a book in my hand while they splashed around with their friends.

Now they're grown up and I'm too busy trying to make money.

And that's why I'm so grateful to BlogHer - they started a Book Club and asked for reviewers. Immediately, I raised my hand. Not only would I be sent a book (for free!) but I'd be paid to read and write a review. Not much, mind you, but any little bit was enough justification to me.

The first book I read for the Book Club, Caleb's Crossing by Geraldine Brooks, is a historical fiction, a genre I love, but it's been awhile since I read one I enjoyed this much. It was tough to put it down! It's about the first Native American to attend Harvard, although for me it was more of a coming-of-age story about a young girl named Bethia who befriends him.

If you're interested, click HERE to read my review and others on BlogHer. (But if you decide to buy it, please come back here and click on my link!)

Now (thanks to BlogHer) I'm reading a memoir - A Jane Austen Education, by William Deresiewicz. After my adventure with Caleb's Crossing, I was tempted to jump into another novel, but this one called to me for some reason, and I'm glad I picked it. Stay tuned for my review later this month.

Besides giving me an excuse to read, BlogHer also recently gave me a chance to try some new dog food (well, for Belle to try some new dog food) and to give readers a chance to win a $100 Visa gift card.  I won't give any of the details away here, though ... if you're interested, click HERE to read my review on Purina Pro Plan Selects and see how to win.

Okay, I'll tell you this much - all you have to do is leave a comment on my review blog (not here) to be entered to win. (Although I love reading your comments, here, too!)

You'll also get to read a little about me and my dogs and see some cute pictures of them. And also find out how to increase your chances of winning!

Good luck, and I hope you're having a great week!

Divas and Sunshine - Just What the Doctor Ordered

I've been packing a lot into my life lately, both by choice and necessity. I've been skimping on sleep at a time when I need to be getting more, stressing over finances, kids and property/neighbor issues.

But there are times when skimping on sleep is exactly the right thing to do - especially if it's a Deer Park Diva weekend at Rae's house (and a chance to spend a few hours with Mama and Daddy before heading back home again.)

Over thirty years ago I shared a building, teachers, pep rallies and prom memories with some wonderful women. Only I didn't realize back then just how wonderful they were. It's stretching it to say I even knew some of them.

I'm not sure how it's happened, whether through reunions, Facebook or just a mutual longing to be connected, but over the past few years we've all reached out to each other.

It's not stretching it to say we've become a life support system for each other, holding each other up in those times when it's impossible to stand alone. Laughing, crying, and dancing with each other through the tears of both.

In these days when our lives are changing, when we don't know what the next day will bring to us by way of our children, our parents, or our own aging bodies, the consistency we find with each other is a balm to our spirits, and in turn, a physical boost far outweighing any damage done by skimping on sleep. These women are fighters... survivors who keep on smiling... who teach me to smile...

Thanks again to Rae and my Divas for a beautiful weekend... my tapestry, inside and out, continues to grow richer and stronger, thanks to you.

Another year, another day by Rae's pool, soaking up the sun, love and laughter, and celebrating a birthday...

Spending hours and hours with these long-time friends is a great stress-reliever for me. What about you? Do you have any routines or rituals that keep you healthy, mentally and physically? Go to my Review page and tell me in the comments section. You'll be entered in the random drawing for a $100 Visa gift card next week! Click here to find out more.

 

 

Body Image Issues?

It seems all of my life I've been comparing myself to other girls or women; specifically, comparing body parts. Back in 5th grade, I envied the way my friend Candy's long, thin legs fit into her jeans. My legs were short and my thighs were chunky - definitely not the look I wanted!

Then Donna moved in across the street from me. Donna, the thirteen-year-old with the eighteen-year-old body and long blonde hair. Donna who was oblivious to the mob of drooling boys following her through the halls on her first day of school. Yeah, she made me feel good about myself. Uh-huh.

By the way, I discovered fad diets in middle school. Coincidence? I think not.

It got worse in high school with the arrival of hormonal pudgies. My legs were still too short, my thighs too fat, my stomach too poochy, my boobs too small. And then, suddenly, too big. Just as bad!

My boyfriend kept the famous poster of Farrah Fawcett on his wall; for some reason, I didn't feel comfortable wearing halter tops or anything showing my midriff.

I discovered diet pills in high school. Coincidence? Again, I think not.

By the time I hit my twenties, my metabolism was a mess, barely alive! It took pregnancy and breastfeeding to finally get it back on track. I haven't been on an actual "diet" since then for fear of tripping it up again, like it's a runner who finally hit her stride and is going for the gold.

I'm finally coming to appreciate my body now that I'm in my fifties. I see my poochy belly and remember that it held my three babies safe and snug, close to me. My now-too-small-again boobs nourished them: how can I hold a grudge? My legs are still short, my thighs hang onto cellulite like a security blanket, but they get me around, and I'm grateful.

I've learned to look at my body as a friend to love, not an enemy to be conquered. I try to treat it with respect - I want to keep it around as long as possible!

This is the beginning of a new post,"My Body, My Friend", about body image on my Review page. "New Post" means new chance to comment and have yet another shot at the $100 Visa gift card (courtesy of BlogHer and Crystal Light) that I'll randomly select from all of the comments at the end of the month. To enter, go to the post (click here) and answer this question in the comments:

What kind of body image issues, if any, have you struggled with? Do you still struggle with them? And if you haven't ever struggled with any, please share the secret! (You only have to answer the first one, but I'm really nosy.)

You can comment here, too, if you want to, but these comments aren't eligible for the drawing. Good luck!

 

 

 

It's Monday - can you feel it, too?

I'm not going to make any excuses for this draggy, Monday-blah feeling I have. It's my own fault. I know it. I'm trying to do too much, but I have no regrets, despite the lack of sleep, and I refuse to cut anything out. Yet.

So this is a Monday post - kind of a hodge-podge of things that I need/want to get out here.

First, if any of you are eager to win that $100 Visa gift card at the end of the month that BlogHer and Crystal Light are sponsoring, you have another chance to enter. I have a new post up on Long Hollow Reviews so head there and leave a comment by clicking here: "What's Your Style?"

Oh, but wait till you finish reading this post!

Second, (and this is for the midlife and up people out there) grab a teenager and take this test. If you're like me, you'll soon be cussing Ted Nugent (or at least those seats so close to the stage - and speakers - that you loved 40 years ago) and powerful turbine-driven engines and motors and loud machinery and your husband's table saw and driving down the highway with the windows rolled down and the car radio blaring...

The Teenager Audio Test

Tell me how you did! I failed miserably, needless to say, because of all of the previously mentioned experiences...

Third, I'm humbled, honored and heartbroken to be helping a friend right now. She asked me to critique an early draft of her memoir, the story of her son and his addiction. This friend was my inspiration to do good in school, the Smart Girl... so you can imagine how powerful her writing already is. Reading her story breaks my heart. Please take time to pray for this son of hers that she loves and fears for so desperately.

While you're praying, please include another friend from my school days who has autoimmune hepatitiswhich has caused cirrhosis of the liver. Yeah, part of me realizes we're over 50, and our bodies are becoming undependable, rebellious strangers, but the other part of me is still walking the halls of my junior high with this girl, still just a teenager in my mind, and way, way too young to be dealing with this.

Now I'm off to finish up this Monday with a bang - ignoring everything on my list to spend a long overdue evening watching a movie, eating, drinking and catching up with three friends. It took a whole day of emails before we could find a day we were all available.

Hope you have all had a wonderful Monday that leads to an even better week.

(Now you can go click on that link and leave your comment!)

 

Money, Money, Money!

Now that I have your attention, I'm going to clue you in on how you might win back some of the money you spent on vacation this summer. At least $100... but if you're really, really lucky, maybe $1000! Don't worry, it's completely legal!

I'm part of the BlogHer Review team and my latest collaboration is with Crystal Light. Once a week for the next four weeks I'll post a question over at Long Hollow Reviews (click here) and all you have to do to be entered for the chance at the $100 VISA gift card is post a comment, answering my question. You can come back the next week and answer the next one, and so on, and at the end of the four weeks, I'll enter all of the comments into a randomizer to pick the winner. (And it might be you!)

I've also revealed how to win the $1000 on the home page of this Crystal Light Review campaign, so if you're interested, click here and see what you need to do.

This week's question is... "How do you eat healthy when you're on vacation or just away from home?"

See, it's easy! Remember, you have to leave your comments on my Review page (click here) not on this blog post. Good luck!

 

Hey Sonny, Who's Your Cher?

In other words, is there someone in your life who brings out the best in you? Someone who makes you better in some way?

Now, once you've thought of someone in particular, try to explain how this person makes you better ...

That was easier said than done for me, when BlogHer asked me to answer the same question for a new contest sponsored by Gain to promote how well their detergent and fabric softener work together.

Right away I knew that my "someone" was Tom. There is no doubt in my mind that he brings out the best in me and vice-versa. But when I tried to explain how, I found myself floundering for examples. It was a pretty upsetting experience to say the least, after so many years of marriage.

But I refused to give up ... finally, finally, the ways we make each other better came to me. What a relief! 

If you want to know my answer to the question, click here to read all about it on Long Hollow Conversations, my reviews and contests blog.

While you're there, tell me in the comments section who your someone is and why (a quick answer is fine) and you'll be entered to win a $100 Visa gift card as well as a set of Gain detergent and fabric softener. There's also information about how to get six more chances to win, including a chance to win a Grand Prize $300 Visa gift card.

Even if (for some strange reason) you don't care about winning any money or detergent, I urge you to take a few minutes to answer these questions anyway, just for your own benefit. It's great therapy for a marriage or friendship or any other kind of partnership you have, forcing you to think about things - or someone - you've perhaps begun to take for granted.

 
 
  

I bet my "funny holiday road trip" story is better than yours!

...and I'll even sweeten the bet with $200! Well, technically Blogher and Sprint will. I've partnered with Blogher to write for their product reviews program and the first assignment was to write about a funny holiday road trip.

That was easy...I wrote about the trip we took to my husband Tom's youngest brother John's wedding in Huatabampo, Mexico, at Christmas time in 1998...about how Tom and his dad changed our route at the last minute and we ended up crossing through Mexico's Sierra Madre mountains on twisty, curvy, pot-hole ridden roads in the middle of the night...the pitch-black night. You can read the complete story on Long Hollow Conversations by clicking here.

Blogher and Sprint are sponsoring a contest and the winner gets a $200 Visa Gift Card. (Confession...my story isn't eligible for the contest.) All you have to do to enter is share your own funny holiday road story in the comments section of my story, "A Feliz Navidad to Remember". You can read the complete contest rules there as well.

Well, what are you waiting for? (Good luck!)