Long Hollow

Flowers for Leontien (and other Sweet!s)

June 3 will mark the 4th anniversary of my first blog post.

I started blogging because, as I write in my "About" section up above...

"Diaries, letters, and scrapbooks became journals, writing classes and essays became Long Hollow (and a few fictional works in progress...) 

But come to find out, what started as an outlet for my journaling and writing needs also satisfied this desire inside of me to connect with people. I was the kind of kid who wrote letters to everyone I knew and wanted tons of pen pals all around the world.

Blogging has given that to me.

Through my blogs... this one and my photography blog... I've met people I probably would never have connected with otherwise.

Just to name a few, there's the  Methodist minister in South Africa. The anesthesiologist/playwright in California. And the transplanted Wisconsonian photographer/artist/animal lover living near Dallas named TexWis Girl.

Earlier this week, I received an email from TexWisGirl letting me know about a surprise blog event called Flowers for Leontien, scheduled for today at 8 am, in honor of fellow blogger, Leontien Vandelaar of Four Leaf Clover Dairy.

I actually don't know Leontien, but she is battling cancer, and other bloggers who do know her felt our support and participation in this event would show her that her blogging community is there for her -- by posting a flower photo with {{hugs}} as the message to Leontien on our blogs today and linking to the "Flowers for Leontien" post on A Rural Journal.

By coordinating our posts, TexWisGirl and others hope to demonstrate how much the blogging community cares for Leontien and is thinking of her at this difficult time. A big beautiful virtual bouquet delivered right to her computer.

As I said, I don't know Leontien, but it moves me that these other bloggers are doing what they can to support their friend, and reaching out to others to gather as much support as possible.

So Leontien, this Texas flower is for you with lots of {{hugs}}. 

I'll keep you in my prayers, for strength and peace and healing. I'm grateful for this blogging community that connected us.

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What a coincidence that the BlogHer Life Well Lived question this week is: How does blogging, journaling, writing and connecting online help to increase your happiness?

I think I just answered that question.

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And now for a few other Sweet!s of my week.. 

Sunday: talking to all three kids in the same day; your mom calling to make sure you're okay; a call from your husband

Monday:a butterfly landing on your shoe; progress on your book for the first time in a few weeks; a blog friend using your photo in his post 

Tuesday: dinner with 2/3 of your kids; payday for one of your jobs; veggie omelettes; a porch swing at night, with a view of the crescent moon

Wednesday: free home grown onions sitting in a basket at your veterinary clinic when you go to pick up your expensive dog food; fortune cookies that tell you what you want to hear; your mom calling to check on you; more progress on your book

Thursday: your sister thinking of you when she sees an exciting photography opportunity; finally getting your Easter decorations put away; editing photos on a new, fast computer; making arrangments for a fun summer vacation at the beach with family

Friday: being back in high school and not caring if anyone likes you; a hug from a friend, via her little girl; goofy dogs; salmon colored sunsets

Saturday: joining other bloggers to offer support and prayers to a fellow blogger

Share your Sweet!s with me! I love to hear them! I hope your next week is full to the brim with them!

...Toss your hat into the latest BlogHer Life Well Lived Sweepstakes for a chance to win an iPod Touch and a $50 iTunes gift certificate to go with it. Go to the Live Well Lived main page to see the other answers and add your own to the comments.

For proper disclosure...

The Book of Jonas

 

"What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world." ~ Robert E. Lee

In The Book of Jonas, author Stephen Dau reminds us that the devastation of war goes beyond a battlefield littered with debris and dead bodies: it indelibly stamps everyone involved. 

Dau illustrates this mostly through the story of Jonas, whose childhood village was destroyed by American soldiers, but also weaves in the stories of Christopher, one of those soldiers, and Rose, Christopher's mother. Through these three perspectives, Dau makes us ponder what we believe about justice, guilt, innocence, right and wrong.

It's a quietly powerful book. A multilayered story with multi-dimensional, multi-faceted characters. Dau is great at introducing a character, making us feel one way about him or her, then moving the camera so we see them from a different angle, triggering a different reaction.   

For me The Book of Jonas is more than a story about war and its effects. It's a lesson in life and love, illustrating how rarely anything is exactly what it seems to be, either black or white. Even our memories don't tell the whole truth, limited as they are by a single viewpoint and tainted by other similar memories.

It's a reminder that none of us lives in a vacuum. Our lives can be dramatically changed because of one decision... sometimes our own but often someone else's. We also can't just ignore the traumatic events that leave their stamps on us, hoping they'll go away. If we do, we become their prisoners.

"The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keep out the joy." ~ Jim Rohr

This is Stephen Dau's first book. I'm eager to read his next.

This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Born Wicked (Book Review)

"Our mother was a witch, too, but she hid it better. I miss her."

That's how Born Wicked by Jessica Spotswood opens, and I was hooked right away. One of the best openings I've ever read! She says so much in so few words.

Unfortunately, the book went downhill from there for me. If I hadn't agreed to write this review for the BlogHer Book Club with the stipulation that I finish reading the book first, I probably would have stopped after the first few chapters. There are just too many other books languishing on my to-be-read list to spend time on one that I don't enjoy, unless I'm given the book and compensated for my time.

Born Wicked is the story of three sisters, all witches forced to hide their powers. It's told in the voice of the eldest, sixteen-year-old Cate, who is trying to protect her little sisters and deal with two love interests simultaneously.

Why didn't I care for the book? It's not the genre or the age level - I love the Harry Potter series. It's the writing.

The narration is intrusive at times, breaking up the flow of scenes. Cate drones on and on, giving us explanations and back story that often merely restate what we just learned through dialog or action, in case we didn't get it the first time. Blah, blah, blah, boring. Too often Spotswood resorts to "telling" instead of "showing."

I dream of having my own book published, but I sure hope no one would let it slip through if I committed the same mistakes. 

The story is set in Massachusetts in the 1880's , but not the Massachusetts or the 1880's we're familiar with. Spotswood created her own world history, where witches founded the colonies for religious freedom but are now arrested and sent away to institutions when their powers are discovered. It's a man's world for sure.

And Dubai is important for some reason - it's mentioned several times in the first few chapters.

I feel the multiple random mentions of Dubai and the alternate history distracted from the story rather than added to it. Perhaps creating a whole new world would be better.

The premise of the story is interesting, and, as I mentioned, the opening is great. There are several parts in the book that reveal Spotswood's gift for writing, but I think overall the book could have used more editing and checks for consistency in character and plot. I can't help thinking it was rushed through, perhaps in hopes of catching the Twilight fans before they drift away to something else.

It has a strong Facebook fan page, and most of the other reviews were positive, so obviously it appeals to some people. But you won't find me reading Book 2 of The Cahill Witch Chronicles.  

This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own, as you've probably figured out.

 

Getting Happy

 

I played my drums today.

That makes two days in a row after several weeks of merely dusting them. A friend shared with me some basic beats he learned in his drum class and I've been wanting to practice them for days, but just had too many important things I needed to do. 

Playing the drums isn't important. Or at least I didn't think it was until today. Not until the rain that wasn't supposed to arrive until tomorrow showed up a day early, forcing me to postpone a family photo shoot I had scheduled with a friend this afternoon.

We've had a tough time meshing our calendars. I had already postponed the shoot once to go to a meeting I had forgotten about.  Now it will be another two weeks before we can meet up.

Disappointed and discouraged, I picked up the sticks and banged away for a little while, not in the mood to do anything else.

It didn't make me any money. I couldn't cross it off of my long to-do list. But I felt better. A few rays of mental sunshine broke through the rainclouds that had somehow rolled into my head. 

It made me think of BlogHer's Life Well Lived question for this week:  How do you put yourself first? How does taking time for yourself help make you happier?

Almost every morning I take my puppies for a walk. That makes me happy, but as much as I love my walks, the joy in their faces is contagious and makes my heart soar.

In fact, most of my happiness is triggered by doing things for others. I truly believe that's the secret to happiness.

But there's a need for balance. Even Jesus took breaks from the crowds, heading off into the mountains or across the sea to be by himself. If he needed breaks, how much more so do we, to keep ourselves from becoming burned out or resentful?

Playing the drums makes me happy. Slipping off for a lunch... or a weekend... with my friends (or my husband) makes me happy. Having my hair cut by someone who knows how to cut my hair makes me happy.

That first cup of coffee in a quiet house... stepping away from the computer into the early afternoon sunshine... taking photographs of flowers and full moons... writing... reading... these all make me happy.

And that happiness is like a big deep breath, a surge of energy coursing through my body, revitalizing me, giving me what I need to help others.

What about you? How do you put yourself first? (Do you?)

And how does taking time for yourself help make you happier? 

Visit the main Life Well Lived post on BlogHer and don't forget to enter the Sweepstakes. You could win a Kindle Fire and a $50 Amazon gift certificate to go with it!

 

 

Love, Life, and The Fault in Our Stars

I hesitated signing up to review The Fault in Our Stars by John Green for the BlogHer Book Club. The blurb said it was about a teenager with terminal cancer, and quite honestly, I wasn't sure if I could handle another book about death and dying. It feels like that's all I've been writing about lately.

But I did sign up for it, because I've enjoyed all of the other books I've read in the BHBC. I trusted them that this one would be just as good.

Well, I'm so glad I did. Green's characters - Hazel, Augustus, Isaac - are so real and fresh and funny that I totally fell in love with them. I could hardly put the book down.

Green tells their story without letting it muddle into a melodramatic tearjerker. Oh, I cried plenty of tears - it's a book about kids dealing with cancer and facing death, after all - but mostly I laughed and cheered and rejoiced.

The characters came to life for me, more than any other characters I've ever gotten to know and love. They felt genuine, and I think I'm qualified to judge, having raised three teenagers of my own in recent history.

Where other teenagers dream of their future, Green's characters wonder if they'll have a future beyond the next year... week... month. They realize the importance of the "here and now" because they know that may be all they get. And it reminded me that none of us is guaranteed more than the "here and now".

So, even though the main characters are teenagers, this book isn't just for young adults. The story goes straight to your heart, making it ageless. 

It's also a love story more than a cancer story. Love doesn't know anything about cancer, or oxygen tanks, or prosthetic legs - it's a straight heart-to-heart connection. And when so much in your life is out of your hands, it's a relief to have some sense of control over even a small aspect.

As Augustus says, "You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world, old man, but you do have some say in who hurts you."

This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club, but the opinions are my own. I really do love, love, love this book and its characters. If you've ever loved, loved, loved a book, join the discussion, "Which Books Do You Love?", HERE.

The Rules of Inheritance: a journey through grief

 

 

It's somehow fitting that I've been reading Claire Bidwell Smith's The Rules of Inheritance for the past few weeks.

Last night I dove into the final chapters, my mind still swirling with sorrow and joy that lingered from a quick trip to Houston for my cousin's funeral. Sorrow for friends and family wrapped tight in grief for the recent loss of their loved ones, including a dear friend whose husband just died, and joy from time spent with my parents, sister, and cousins I rarely see. 

I arrived home just in time to attend Ash Wednesday services, where Father Don reminded us of our mortality, of the importance of not squandering the gift of life we've been given, but to find a way to give back. 

Through all of this, Smith's book was on my mind, because it deals with life and death and grief. Mostly her own grief. When Smith was fourteen, both of her parents were diagnosed with cancer. Her mother died when Smith was eighteen and then, just seven years later, she watched her father take his last breath.

Smith takes us along on her heart-wrenching and courageously candid journey, but as tragic as it is, underneath is an unspoken glimmer of hope that kept me turning the pages. I knew she survived this dark passage of her life... I could tell that she was writing it from a patch of light that gave her strength to venture back in, in order to share her story with us.

But I couldn't imagine how she did it. I wanted to know. I needed to know.

How do you face the grief without letting it swallow you? How do you continue when you've lost your "most important person"?

I've felt grief and loss. Two sisters-in-law. My oldest brother. All of my grandparents. Aunts, uncles, cousins. Close friends.

But my parents and my husband's parents are all still alive... still voices on the other end of the phone... still just a hop in the car and a few hours' drive away.  Except for my brother, we have all ten of our siblings. All of our children.

Mostly, we still have each other.

But life is so fragile. In little over a year, six of my friends have become widows. Several of my classmates from high school, former co-workers, and now my cousin have died in the past year as well, while others have lost their parents. 

Smith was young when she lost her parents, but is there ever an age when you're prepared for that void in your life?

I feel blessed. Grateful. And lucky. But I also feel a twinge of guilt that makes me stumble over the right words. Smith says "If you haven't been through a major loss, then the truth is that you just don't know what to say to someone who has." 

She talks about the friends that gathered around her in her father's last days. Just their physical presence, their touch, helped her get through it. I remember how much it meant to me when I looked up at my brother's funeral and spotted my girlfriends.

Even if I don't know what to say, I'll try harder to be physically present.

I also won't pass judgement. I won't tell anyone it's time to get on with their lives, but will try to just listen. "Our grief is as individual as our lives," Smith says. 

Simone Weil said "All sins are attempts to fill voids."

Smith's reactions to her parents' illnesses and deaths certainly proves this to be true. She relates with raw honesty her futile attempts to fill the void. I'm amazed she not only survived, but managed to settle her father's estate, get her degree, and hold jobs while traveling the dark and gritty path of her teens and twenties.

I recommend this book to anyone who is actively grieving, but also to anyone who has struggled with depression, loneliness, bad relationships, trying to find the right path, or just trying to figure out who they really are. They'lll be able to identify with her story, too, whether or not they've suffered loss such as hers.

It's not until years later that Smith allows her grief to bubble to the surface or is able to recognize Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's five stages of grief in her dark journey.

Now a grief counselor, Smith used the stages of grief as the framework for her memoir. It isn't a linear story, but jumps from one episode in her life to another, back and forth, but told in the present tense, allowing us to experience the moment through her eyes. 

Some of the episodes are repeated with slight differences; I didn't understand this until near the last chapter when she explains the stages are just a frame to work with. "You may never experience all of them. You may go through them out of order or sometimes find yourself in more than one of them at the same time." 

Life and death go hand in hand. Personal loss is waiting for each of us around one of the corners, just ahead. I believe reading Smith's book will help anyone prepare for the inevitable grief that comes with life... and to believe that it's possible to eventually get to the other side of grief and continue on.

At the end of the book, Smith describes walking in on her husband and young daughter having a tea party. She wants to freeze that moment, but knows she can't. She knows time will pass, along with many others, that they'll all grow old and die. 

But her father's words, spoken shortly before his last breath, resonate through her words. I know she believes them and I do, too:

"Life is worth living."

 

 

 

 

This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are totally my own.

 

 

 

The Privilege of a Lifetime

"The privilege of a lifetime is to be yourself."

 ~ Joseph Campbell

 

A big pot of chicken soup is simmering on the stove. From where I sit across the room I can hear the little bubbles playing on the surface and the aroma is making my stomach growl.

I made it for myself, because I'm sick. I don't cook often these days, and when I do, it's usually to whip up some favorite of one of my kids or my husband, although he's gotten quite good at cooking whatever he wants himself.

You see, there are tons of other things I'd rather do with my time besides cook. That's just me, the way I am, and I'm okay with it. Thank goodness my husband is, too.

I thought about this as I chopped up vegetables for the soup earlier, because BlogHer's latest question for their Life Well Lived Getting Happy series is: How do you practice self-acceptance and find unconditional love for yourself? (Part 2 of the question is: How does practicing love first help you attract more love and happiness in your life?)

Well, not cooking if I don't feel like it is one way I practice self-acceptance.

I spent years trying on cooking and crafting and gardening and sewing, and while I enjoyed each one to a certain extent, none of them fit me exactly right. 

Today I'm cooking because I care about myself. I want to get well.

It took years to shed the 'Mommy-Martyr' mentality that made me think everyone else's needs were more important than my own. It's still a trick mirror though... one big incentive to take care of myself is so I can take care of those I love who depend on me. To be healthy if they need me or to just set a good example.

When I eat right, when I run, when I make sure I get enough sleep or play my drums or take time to read or write or take photos or laugh with friends or go dancing with my husband... it's for them as much as it is for myself.

 

Turning 50 was a huge turning point in my self-attitude, like standing before a mirror, evaluating where I'd been, where I still wanted to go and whether or not I was heading in the right direction to get there. Trying to figure out what fit and what should be tossed. I was able to recognize and appreciate the strengths that got me this far, as well as the quirks that make me unique.

Love your neighbor as yourself. ~ Mark 12:31

I forgave myself mistakes made along the way, accepted myself as human, flaws and all, and by doing so, discovered how easy it is to do the same for other people. The key to loving your imperfect neighbor "as yourself" is first loving your imperfect self.

How do you start? Ponder this...

 Where there is no love, put love and there will be love.

~ St. John of the Cross

 

 

So how do you practice self-acceptance and find unconditional love for yourself?

And how does practicing love first help you attract more love and happiness in your life?

Leave your answer here, but also at the main post on BlogHer where you can see other answers. And be sure to enter the sweepstakes for a chance at a Kindle Fire and $50 Amazon Gift Card HERE.

Returning to Me

With the birth of my first child, my ego, dreams, and most other aspects of Me as I knew Me sloughed off like a snake skin, forgotten. I was a Mother now! That tiny little being depended on me and by golly, that's all that mattered.

Within a few years, I had two more little beings depending on me. Throughout my thirties and most of my forties, I was just Mom. Busy, practical and unselfish.

Oh, I toyed with my old dreams. Took a few classes at the community college. Had some essays published. Met my girlfriends for dinner and a movie every once in a while. Worked some part-time jobs.

For years I held onto enough ego to battle my body over the same 15 pounds, but when semi-daily walks with my dogs, periodic lifting of light weights and eating healthy-ish didn't make a difference, I finally gave up and accepted my body as it was.

I was way too mature and sensible to care that the varicose veins on my right leg were so bad a new friend asked if I'd been in a car wreck, thinking they were horrible scars. I cringed a bit myself when I looked at them, but I hated to be so vain and selfish as to undergo the pain and expense of surgery. There were so many other things we needed.

Then my oldest son left for college.

Oh, my heart ached! For days I would suddenly burst into tears over the pain; it hurt so badly! One day I realized my tears weren't falling just because I missed my son; that's what triggered them, but my tears fell because I could suddenly feel Life, as I knew it, changing. Soon, my two youngest would follow their big brother out of the nest.

I would always be a mother, but I knew the end of my days as Mom was just a few years away. It made me feel...old. And I wondered, if I'm not Mom anymore, what will I be? Who will I be?

Some might call what happened next a case of the MidLife Crazies. I just call it Returning to Me.

You can be anything you want to be. I had told my kids that over and over because I believed it, and now was my chance to act on it. I would be Me. The best Me possible, for as long as possible. I wasn't ready to be old.

I took bits from each of my previous selves: the spoiled youngest child, the tomboy, the homecoming queen, the scholar, the thinker, the independent woman, the dancer, the newlywed, the mother, the daughter, friend, the volunteer, the writer, the photographer, and even, thanks to my husband, the wanna-be drummer.

Dusting off my dreams, I signed up for college classes, one per semester. Over the next few years, I started a blog and began teaching myself digital photography. I wrote a screenplay, polished up one book, and started another.

I reconnected with friends, other women who were going through the same changes I was experiencing, including friends I'd known since childhood, before any of us were wives or mothers. They helped me rediscover the Me I was back then.

I made my own health a priority, scheduling time every day for a workout. I began running again for the first time in years. Part of my motivation was ego, I admit, but I knew others still depended on me; I needed to be in the best shape possible so I could take care of them. Heart disease runs in my family. I wanted to be a good example to my kids, who carry the same genes.

My hair was thinning at an alarming rate, so I educated myself about nutrition and made huge changes in my diet. It didn't have any affect on my hair, but between those changes and my stepped-up physical work-outs, I finally dropped those 15 pounds I'd given up on. What a great surprise!

With my ego fully out of the closet, I treated myself to varicose vein surgery for my 47th birthday, deciding I was too young to wear nothing but ankle-length dresses the rest of my life.

All of these changes acted as defensive armor just in the nick of time, preparing me for the assault of menopause. I've experienced a few hot flashes, but not the mood swings, weight gain, severe sweats, or disrupted sleep some of my friends complain about.

My kids have all flown the nest now; but instead of crying, I feel like I'm flying with them.

The people at Pfizer are interested in helping all of us find our wings and keep flying through these strange, trying, wonderful midlife years and hope to accomplish that through their "Return to You" program, a program aimed at helping women return to their best selves.

Have YOU had a Return to You moment? Please share it with me in the comments; I'd love to hear your story!

Visit the Pfizer Return to You page on BlogHer.com for more blogger stories and prepare to be inspired!

First thing in the morning...

...even before my eyes pop open, I pray... giving thanks, asking for guidance, and for the needs of my loved ones.

That done, I stumble to the bathroom, splash water on my face, brush my teeth, "take care of business", and then head to the kitchen and start my coffee brewing.

I need a bit of quiet time over my coffee and cereal to gather my thoughts. I usually read something inspirational while I eat - currently "Hope for Each Day" by Billy Graham. 

As the sun rises, I head outside for a walk with my camera and my puppies, paying attention to God's handiwork and continuing my prayers, asking specifically for strength for whatever the day brings.

So, tell me... What do you do to get your day going on an upbeat, positive note?

Share your answer here and in the comment section of BlogHer's Life Well Lived Blog Post and you'll be entered for a $250 Sweepstakes!

(P.S. If you have trouble feeling upbeat in the morning, you might want to watch the "Happiness Prescription" video by Dr. Aymee... click HERE)

Love at First Bark

I start almost every morning with a walk down my dirt road with Belle and Max. Their joie de vivre is palpable. Contagious.

I'm addicted to these walks, to watching my "puppies" greet each new day with passion and energy and optimism. 

Max and Belle were both strays who wandered up to strange houses with a dog's pure faith they would be helped. At the time each of them entered our lives, I didn't think I wanted any more dogs. Too expensive, too constraining of our time, too much heartbreak when they die.

Now I give thanks every morning and several times during the day - well, anytime I look into those big brown eyes - that God brought these little black and brown angels into our lives. He knew just what we needed.

He always does. And Max and Belle remind me of that every day.

 

When I was young, the sight of a stray dog broke my heart. Molded by stories like "Black Beauty", "Old Yeller" and "Call of the Wild", where animals struggle to find a good home,  I dreamed that when I grew up, I'd own a ranch where I could take in every stray I found.

Well, I grew up. The cost for housing, food and medical issues alone for that dream to come true snapped me back to reality. It didn't help that I'm allergic to animals. I'd need a fortune just to buy all that Benadryl.

So you can see why I jumped at the chance to review ("read for free") Julie Klam's book Love at First Bark, for the BlogHer Book Club, especially when the subtitle read "How Saving a Dog Can Sometimes Help You Save Yourself".

I know how true that statement is, that dogs can help you save yourself...

Max came along just when my oldest headed off to college and the other two were close on his heels. Did you know that a goofy German Shepherd-Great Dane puppy is very similar to a 4-year-old? Max became my perpetual 4-year-old and eagerly accepted all the baby talk and (s)mothering attention my human kids had outgrown, making my transition to Empty Nest so much easier. 

Belle came along just in time to save Max, who was despondent after our old dog Charly's death. She revived the "puppy" in him. (Saving Max = saving me. Thank you, Belle!)

However, except for the first chapter where Julie describes how helping an abandoned pit bull essentially saved her marriage, the rest of the book just relates different dog rescues. It's a good book, peppered with Julie's humor, but it didn't grab me the way I thought it would. It felt passive and inconsistent, sort of rushed. 

What keeps it a "good" book in my opinion, and why I believe it's worth reading, is the well-deserved recognition it gives to unsung heroes around the country who are essentially living my dream of helping stray dogs, either through rescues or by adoption or foster care.

Before reading this, I didn't have a clue there were so many organizations (all understaffed and underfunded, of course) and individuals who go miles out of their way to help. Hearing the lengths they go to just to rescue one dog is inspiring. Kudos to Julie and all of the others who do this regularly, who think nothing of adding an incontinent dog to their already large collection of pooches or run through a swamp and duck under a train to help a stray with a jar stuck on its head.

So if you want information about dog rescues or rescuers, I recommend it. But if you're hoping for heartwarming, life-changing stories that send you scrambling for a box of tissue, look somewhere else... after you read the first chapter about Morris the Pit Bull, that is.

Full Disclosure: I was compensated for this BlogHer Book Club review but all opinions expressed are my own.

How to Be an American Housewife

No, I'm not trying to give anyone advice here! (Those who know me would laugh! Especially Tom!)

How to Be an American Housewife by Margaret Dilloway is the latest selection for the BlogHer Book Club. It's a story about forgiveness, perserverence, understanding, examining your life and following your dreams.

All the things I love to write about!

Dilloway draws on her own family history to weave this tale of Shoko, a Japanese War Bride who comes to America with her Navy man husband, Charlie, after World War II, hoping for a new life but facing prejudice and ostracism. Her husband gives her a book, more of a manual, I guess, to help her adjust - How to Be an American Housewife.

The story begins in Shoko's 60-something voice describing her yearning to return to Japan to see her brother, Taro, who disowned her for marrying an American. She takes us back to their childhood; shares with us her dreams, goals and heartbreaks; explains how she met Charlie and the challenges she faced in America. She's in ill health, suffering for years from a weak heart, possibly caused by radiation, and now faces a life-threatening surgery.

Shoko has dreamed of returning to Japan someday, but life continually intervened. First, she couldn't afford it. And then, when she manages to stash away enough money, her heart isn't strong enough to make the trip. But she's determined to make contact with Taro, and turns to her daughter, Sue, to travel to Japan in her place.

This is where Sue takes up the story. 

Sue and Shoko have never had a close relationship, but she is still concerned for her mother and sees how important it is to her to make amends with Taro before she dies. She agrees to make the trip, along with her teenage daughter, Helena. While in Japan, Sue is not only able to understand her mother better, but her own dreams are reawakened.

Although Shoko wanted to be a good mother, she fell short at times due to her health, her age, cultural differences and her own strong personality. But this trip is exactly what Sue needs and by giving it to her, I feel any mistakes Shoko made along the way are redeemed.

As a mother, I can identify with both Shoko and Sue, wanting to be the best I can be but knowing I fall short too often. Like them, I also have dreams I still hope come true; I liked the message this gave of never giving up on them, that there's no expiration date on dreams.

This isn't just a mother-daughter story, though. Dilloway provides a little something for everyone. I'm a history buff and enjoyed hearing about life in Japan during World War II.  I also love a good love story and this one didn't disappoint me in that category, either.

So I suggest you read it, and if you do, let me know what you thought about it!

(To learn more about the book and the author, and to join in further conversations on BlogHer, click here. Oh, and I was compensated for this BlogHer Book Club review but all opinions expressed are my own.)

Slow Love

The last two chapters of Dominique Browning's memoir Slow Love prove she's a talented writer. They're poetic, original, descriptive, wistful and hopeful. A true joy to read. 

However, if I hadn't promised to finish reading her memoir before writing this review for the BlogHer Book Club, I would have tossed it aside after the first few chapters because of unnecessary details, a confusing timeline, and my own pure frustration. 

Editor-in-chief of House & Garden magazine when it folded in 2007, Browning was also mired in a longterm relationship with a legally-separated man who refused to leave his wife. Despite the explanations and excuses Browning offers, I couldn't understand how someone her age at her level of success didn't wave goodbye to him long before.

Slow Love describes her depression and journey back to the surface, but as much as I wanted to, I had a tough time finding sympathy for her. For one thing, losing her job didn't throw her into the financial crisis it would so many others. She was very fortunate.

But perhaps I couldn't identify with her because I've been in a constant state of employment transition for more than thirty years and never based my self-worth on any of my jobs.  Perhaps it's because I learned decades ago that a woman doesn't need a man to be "complete", that you can't change people or depend on them for your happiness.

Perhaps I'm the fortunate one, after all.

Just counting a few of my blessings... (my Friday Favorite Photos)

 

1. Rain on my windshield! Before heading to Houston yesterday, I swung downtown to drop some things off for TG on campus, and I heard an unusual sound... raindrops on my car! And then it actually rained on me all the way to Smithville or LaGrange. It wasn't enough to wash the dust from my car, but I'm grateful even for this small amount. Tom says a little even fell at our house, hallelujah! At least we know it remembers where we live!

2. My parents back at home; specifically, Daddy out of the hospital. Nothing more to add. That's enough!

3. Being able to catch a photo of my great-niece Haila smiling. I love this one of her and her daddy, Evan, my brother's son. They were in Houston visiting from Wyoming and I'm so glad I was able to run down to see them. I've been told Haila never fusses, but just before I arrived, she woke from a bad dream and cried and cried a good part of the time I was there. When she wasn't crying, she was on the move. This is a miracle capture!

4. My sister Brenda can walk without her cane! Just a few steps and she keeps it handy, but still, that's a major accomplishment and a beautiful sight to see. I haven't seen her since her hip surgery 5 months ago - how can that be possible? To say she looks much better would be an understatement!

I returned this evening from a quick trip to my hometown to attend my friend's husband's funeral. As you can see from these photos, I packed a lot into 24 hours... long overdue visits with my parents and siblings plus hugs (and tears) with my lifetime friends at the viewing and funeral.

I wish I'd had more time, but I'm just grateful I was able to sneak down there at all. I have to work tomorrow.

I'm hoping to fit another trip in soon for a second interview with my parents and to gather with the other Deer Park Divas around our friend. She's doing great now, but we all know the next few months are going to be tough.

This next week I'm focusing on getting organized - I have no deadlines to make me crazy although another book is in the mail for the next BlogHer Book Club review. I'm looking forward to it, though. These book reviews have kept me reading all summer.

The last one I read was Faithful Place, by Tana French - a wonderful love story/murder mystery with the kind of writing that makes me want to go revise everything I've ever written! You can read the full review HERE on BlogHer.

I have several friends and quite a bit of family over there on the East Coast and even though I've been on the road, I know there's a hurricane headed their way, so I'll be praying it's a dud like the one aimed at us a few weeks ago! And if not quite a dud, that its damage is minimal. Stay safe, all of you!

 

 

 

"And now for something completely different..." Kitchen Tales, a Recipe and Post #1000!

When I was growing up, if I stepped one foot in the kitchen, my grandmother would suddenly appear beside me to see what I was doing. It didn't matter if I waited until she was in her bedroom with the door closed playing the piano and belting out "Oh, What a Friend We Have in Jesus", she would somehow sense a presence in her territory and promptly investigate.

Mam-ma wasn't ugly about it. She didn't forbid me to cook. She would even sometimes sense my uneasiness under her watchful eye and try to give me some space, ducking around the corner to the livingroom and only peering at me around the door frame, but before long she would be back inside, hovering at my shoulder. She just couldn't help it!

Needless to say, I didn't learn much about cooking back then, beyond what was taught in my one semester of 7th grade Cooking Class with Mrs. McDonald. By the time I was out on my own, with my very own kitchen, I was on a perpetual diet. I learned to bake chicken, steam broccoli and even made Magic Cookie Bars and a broccoli-cheese casserole for a company Christmas party, but otherwise I lived on dry roasted peanuts, picante sauce and chips, and microwaved baked potatoes. Quick and easy.

After Tom and I married, I began experimenting with recipes on my days off. I loved cooking - if I had a whole day to devote to it, that is. I scoured magazines for new recipes to try...

Then the children arrived; it was back to quick and easy and trying to cook something everyone liked. Pre-boxed, pre-jarred... even pre-cooked. The more "pre's" there were, the better! 

In recent years, I've cut out all of those "pre's" - I'm trying to eat healthy. But I still like "quick and easy". Cooking, and the inevitable cleaning up, are way down below writing and photography and playing the drums for me, so when preparing a meal lands on my shoulders, it's usually grilled chicken and fresh salad. (Tom will say it's always grilled chicken and fresh salad. And he might be right!)

So why in the heck did I sign up to develop a recipe with Knorr Chicken Stock for BlogHer? Not just cook something, mind you, but develop a new recipe?

Because the top recipes win an all-expense paid trip to the upcoming BlogHer Convention, which I could never afford otherwise, that's why.

But, seriously, what was I thinking? I couldn't win. It's not that I think I'm incapable - it's just not something I'm 'into' right now. You name it and cooking is way down below it. And then there's the time thing. I'm already stretched so thin there are days I think I'm going to POP!

I thought about backing out of it. But thinking about it is as far as I got on that because... well, I gave my word, for one thing. And also, it became a new challenge, a way to grow in an area I've sorely neglected. 

I believe learning and growing and challenging yourself is what this 50 decade is all about, so for two weeks, I tossed ideas around in my head, trying to come up with something new.

That's really, really hard, you know it?

I noticed the chef at the winery creating dishes using roasted cauliflower and that gave me an idea. I had tons of cauliflower in the fridge. I would just roast a bunch and then... hmmm. Then what?

I eventually did come up with a mostly-original recipe. Only 'mostly-original' because I adapted one of my old standbys from when all the kids lived at home, a recipe I got from a co-worker years ago: "Terry Boer's Chicken and Rice Casserole." (I kept it in a recipe box next to "Hoi Tranh's Butterfly Shrimp" and "Larry Corona's Manicotti" and "Jim Josey's Cheeseburger Pie." I loved working with guys who could cook!)

And I really love casseroles because you just toss everything together in one pan, slip it into the oven and let it cook.

But Terry's recipe wasn't very healthy. That was my challenge...

His called for buttering the pan. I used olive oil. His used white rice. I replaced it with organic, gluten-free short grain brown rice. Instead of a whole cut-up chicken that his recipe called for, I used boneless, skinless chicken breasts. Instead of two cans of 'cream of..." soup, I used Knorr's low-fat chicken stock. Instead of dried onion soup, I used fresh onion and other spices.

Then I added my own twist, adding lots of cauliflower, broccoli and mushrooms.

Guess what - it was good! Even TG and Tom agreed, although I think Tom still prefers Terry's (unhealthy) version.

So maybe it doesn't totally qualify for the contest, since it's more of an adaptation than a totally original recipe, but even if I'm disqualified, I feel good about the whole experience. My cooking confidence has been restored - although I think I'll still let Tom retain the Kitchen Crown. 

So without further ado, here's the completed recipe for, um, what should I name it? How about... "Barbara's Chicken, Veggie and Brown Rice Casserole"? Well, not very original, but my brain is tired. It'll have to do. 

Hope you enjoy it!

 

Barbara's Chicken, Veggie and Brown Rice Casserole

Ingredients

1 lb. Monterrey mushrooms, sliced

1/2 broccoli crown, cut into chunks

1/2 head cauliflower, cut into chunks

1 whole onion, chopped

3 lbs. boneless, skinless chicken breasts (about 5 breasts)

2 1/2 cups of chicken stock made from Knorr homestyle concentrated stock

1 1/2 cups of brown rice

1/2 tsp. dry mustard

1 tsp. garlic salt

1 tsp. black pepper

1/2 tsp. cayenne pepper

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Prepare chicken stock. Coat bottom of 9 x 13 pan with olive oil. Pour 1 1/2 cups of stock into pan. Add 1 1/2 cups of rice, covering bottom of pan. Place chicken on top of rice. Mix seasonings together and sprinkle on chicken, then top with  onions, mushrooms, cauliflower and broccoli. Pour remaining chicken stock on top.

Cover with foil and bake for 1 1/2 hours. Remove foil and bake for 15 minutes. Allow to sit for 5 minutes before serving.

Serves 8 to 10.

(If you make it, let me know what you think!)

 

And now, for something ELSE completely different...

 

 This was my 1000th post on Long Hollow! Whoo-hoo!!

It's hard for me to believe, but I'm sure my stats don't lie. Thank you to anyone out there who has actually read even half of them!

 

 

 

 

Makin' a list and checkin' it twice...

List-mode -noun  A state of being wherein a moderately organized compulsive listmaker falls behind on things she needs to do, usually due to a weekend out of town with her girlfriends, and can't help but make more lists in a feeble attempt to get caught up without forgetting something important.

 

1. Sigh.

2. The weekend was totally worth it, though. Just hanging out with my girlfriends around the pool, sipping margaritas and talking, talking, talking would have made my current harried frenzy worth it, but my weekend journey had some other high spots in it as well.

3. If you're a blogger or on Facebook or FlickR or Twitter or some other social media I've never heard of, you've probably made lots of friends that, chances are, you'll never meet in person. Well, this weekend I got to meet one of those previously "virtual" friends, Debbie, who I connected with a few months ago on FlickR. On my way into Houston Friday, she met me for lunch.

4. It is so cool to see a person you've only known through words or photos sitting right there in front of you, face to face. We had a wonderful visit, but, of course, it was too short. 

5. We'll have to do it again, Debbie!!

6. My Diva weekend will get its own post (eventually!) but I want to mention one thing about it now because I think it's such a great idea.

7. We celebrated Leslie's birthday on Saturday, but instead of presents, she requested bags of dog and cat food that she could donate to an animal shelter. Isn't that a great idea?

8. You rock, Leslie!! 

9. (Here she is between her goddaughter, Georgie, and our sweet animal-loving hostess Rae, who took the food to her local shelter.)

 

10. Sunday I spent several hours with my parents before heading home, and for close to four of those hours I listened to - and recorded - my parents' stories and memories.

11. I'm convinced there's no better heirloom or legacy, and can't wait to go back to capture more of that treasure. 

12. Doesn't Daddy look cute in his suspenders? 

13. Do you remember me telling you I'm part of the BlogHer Book Club? Well, my latest book review was published today on BlogHer, about Sarah Dessen's What Happened to Goodbye? Click HERE to read my full review.  

14. Guess what? I'm a finalist in Jillsy Girl's June Water Challenge! Voting continues until June 29th so go HERE to vote! (Don't feel you have to vote for me - click on each of the entries and pick whichever one you like.)

15. Some people truly amaze me, and Gina Calvert is one of those people, constantly spreading herself thin to help someone else. Her latest venture is for Girls on the Run, a non-profit prevention program that helps preteen girls develop self-respect and health lifestyles through running.

16. Gina, who isn't a runner yet, plans to run a 5K in just a few months to raise money for the program. (I should mention at this point that Gina is 51!)

17.Please click HERE to read more about Girls on the Run. (Even if you don't think you can or will donate, you should read Gina's post about it. She's a wonderful writer!) 

18. Whew! I think that's enough for tonight...

19. Thank you.

It's not too late!

Have you entered the $100 Visa card giveaway yet?

The one sponsored by BlogHer and Purina where all you have to do is click on this link HERE to go to my review blog and leave me a comment telling me about a special moment you share with your dog or dogs each day? If you haven't, you're running out of time! 

So go! Hurry! Do it now! The comments close tomorrow evening.

I hope you win! (Please share your comment here, too!) 

Gratuitous photos of my cute puppies...

Rambling on a Monday in May

Before I was fully awake this morning, I started the coffee brewing and switched on the television.

Up popped the devastation in Joplin, Missouri - that hospital with blown windows surrounded by mangled vehicles, toothpick trees and piles of rubbish ... the videos, the woman's voice praying "Help us, Jesus..."

After saying a prayer for all of those affected, I vowed never to complain about the weather here again.  

****************************

 May is almost over and I'm feeling paranoid. 

The past two Mays have given me belated birthday presents that I wouldn't re-gift to my worst enemy.

For my 50th birthday, May gave me a case of shingles which came with an MRI because of the headaches that heralded its arrival and steroid drops for my eyes so I wouldn't go blind.

Last year I guess May felt it had to top the previous one. First, it gave me the worst urinary tract infection of my life. (It was actually only my second ever, but the first one, thirty years ago, was so bad I took every precaution to avoid another.)

I thought that was it (thank you so much!), but then just a week or so later my heart went crazy, pounding and racing so hard and fast that it woke me up. I thought it was going to fly out of my chest! Follow up tests concluded it was  SVT, or Supraventricular Tachycardia, basically an electrical short circuit in my heart that causes it to pound and race. 

I haven't had another episode, or any other health scares, but then, May isn't over yet, is it? I'm just hoping this "Welcome to your 50's" initiation phase is over.

 ***************************************

My book review for A Jane Austen Education went live on BlogHer this evening (along with several others, if you want more than one opinion!)

I've been thinking about the book again today, mostly thinking it's a shame Jane Austen isn't required reading for everyone. Some people learn the lessons about life on their own that William Deresiewicz, the author, learned from the books, but I know quite a few people who have never learned them, such as the one he learned from Pride and Prejudice: we aren't born perfect and there are some lessons we have to learn on our own in order to grow. We can't learn them from other people. We have to experience our own failure.

I know this was certainly true for me when I was young (and maybe it's still true!). I wish it hadn't been - I wish I'd had the sense to take the advice of those older and more experienced than I was. I hope I have a teeny bit of that sense myself now.

Which reminds me... I saw a blurb on the news today that some state is considering holding parents responsible when their child gets a bad grade. Huh? Maybe I heard it wrong, but if it's true, don't they realize they're just giving parents more reason to do their kids' work for them or encourage them to cheat or that we'd be keeping kids from learning life lessons they need later on? Don't they realize no one is born perfect and everyone has a different path to follow? A different time line?

Where are these people coming from?  Why do some people think their way is the only way? 

Oops. Sorry.

Anyway, click HERE to read my review on BlogHer... and go read some Jane Austen!

******************************

 As far as Mondays go, this hasn't been a great one. Okay, it truly sucked in places (and I don't use that 's' word lightly.)

But I'm still keeping my eyes open for those Sweet! moments and keeping my feet moving forward, even though I don't know what's ahead of me.

These quotes help, so I'm going to add them here in case one of you needs a little 'faith reminder'. (I need them a lot - that's why I collect these quotes!)

"Suppose you plant a garden, and after a few days, you don't see results. Do you dig it up again? No, because you know that a lot of things are going on that you can't see. It's the same with God."

~ Charles Stanley, American Baptist preacher

"Patience with others is love, patience with self is hope, patience with God is faith." 

~ADEL BESTAVROS Egyptian deacon and lawyer

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."

~Proverbs 3:5-6

 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

~Jeremiah 29:11

"God often closes a door before opening a new one. Between those doors, don't worry. Wait, worship and watch! It's a test of faith. Colossians 4:3"

- Rick Warren

"Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted, in spite of your changing moods."

~C.S. Lewis

 "Hope is wishing for something to come true. Faith is belief that it will come true. Believe that for every problem God gives you, He will also provide you with a solution."

Anyone know who said that? I love it!

But this is my favorite, and the one that truly keeps me going...

Everything works out in the end. If it hasn't worked out yet, it's not the end.

~Author Unknown

**********************************

And for me, this is proof of that nugget of truth... the path might be tough, but if you keep going, you just might get fireworks in your honor! (The last of my graduation photos, I promise. Here, anyway. I'll post the rest on "Confessions".) 

 

It's Our 49th Anniversary! (Sweet! #9)

Yes, we've been married for 49 "Friday the 13th"s now, starting with our wedding day.

Tom is the one keeping count. This afternoon he greeted me with "Happy 49th Anniversary!" 

I don't know how he does it - I can barely keep track of my age these days, but it makes me feel good that he does; it's easier to ignore him when he's grumpy and helps me overlook all of those empty Diet Coke cans and various tools left lying about.

Knowing you matter to someone else and they're glad you're in their life.... Sweet! #9

So we're celebrating tonight! I paid bills and he headed into the garage to start cleaning up in there.

Nah, just kidding.

Oh, we really did those things, but that's not the celebration. I just knew better than to procrastinate those bills. Now I've got to finish reading A Jane Austen Education by William Deresiewicz for my latest BlogHer Book Club Review (due this weekend! Argh!) and THEN we'll snuggle up and watch a movie together and I'll try hard not to fall asleep. 

(Disclosure: I'm an Amazon Affiliate, so if you click on that link and buy the book from Amazon, I get a few pennies for my piggy bank.)

It's Friday, so here are my favorite photos of the week, for obvious reasons if you've been keeping up with the state of the Hollow...

Hope you've had a wonderful Friday the 13th!

P.S. I waited until I had permission to post this. It's another wonderful story - I hate to admit it, but better than mine - of why 13 has been given a bad rap and can actually be a lucky number...

When I first went to M.D.Anderson 34 years ago, the patient number they assigned me (which you keep forever) was 131313. I took one look and thought, "Oh, no, you don't... I won't take that number!" Then just as quick, I thought, "Wait a minute... are you going to be superstitious or are you going to trust in God." So I kept the number and although there has been a few bumps in the road, I'm still here enjoying life all these 34 years later. And what a wonderful life it has been; I can say that there are very few things on my Bucket List that I haven't achieved in those years. Also, through all these years, every time I check-in for all the multitude of tests each year, they all look at that 131313 and say, "Oh, my goodness, I would NEVER have accepted that number!" which gives me a chance to speak of God and faith. I would say that the number 13 (in triple no less) has NOT been unlucky for me. God is good.

Amen! Thank you for letting me share your story, MJ! (Anyone else have a good Lucky 13 story? I want to hear it!)

 

Spring Fever Frenzy and Sweet! #1

Frenzy is my word of the week, (where's my copy of Pearl Jam's song Just Breathe?) so please forgive me if this post seems a little harried and unorganized. If it jumps around a bit, it's just a reflection of my life right now, hopscotching from one project to the next in haphazard order.

Tom and I have two Major Events coming up this month - another Shake Russell home concert and Daniel's graduation - just the kind of matches we need to light fires under our butts and get us moving on projects we should have tackled months ago.

Why, oh why do we procrastinate?

You would be amazed by how much Tom and I can ignore around our house - he always has half a dozen projects in various stages going on simultaneously and after almost 30 years together, I've learned to ignore random tools and pieces of equipment left lying in odd places. 

One reason I ignore it all is because, if he dares say anything about my own piles of unorganized junk or projects-in-progress, I have ammunition. We've learned to be very accepting of each other's idiosyncrasies.

When Major Events appear on the calendar, though, that helps us see our home from a visitor's point of view and YIKES, our priorities shift. I haven't even gotten to the 'cleaning' part - for some reason, I've got it in my head I need to sort through boxes, clean up my office-to-be, my closet, cabinets... 

It's not that I think anyone will care, but I have to use this rare fever while I have it.

So, what I didn't do this past weekend: 

• Work on my book.
• Dance, play ping-pong or my drums.
• Load Photoshop Elements on my computer. (I'm hesitating because, from experience with my computer, I know it won't be as easy as clicking a few buttons. I need a chunk of time to work on this.)
• Finalize the name for my new venture. If I get any chunks of time, this is what I've been spending them on. Even though I work for a naming company, I had no idea it would take me this long to pick one. I'm really afraid I'm overthinking it. I've narrowed it down to three, though, and now have to figure out how to register it. There are so many things involved in starting a business - yikes!
• Attend my friend Jacque's college graduation Saturday morning. I fully intended to - I got up early, showered, dressed and was ready to head out the door, but stopped to double check directions to where I thought it was being held Turns out, it was on a totally different highway than she told me in her graduation-eve excitement, much farther than I realized. I should have googled it the night before and gotten up earlier. There was no way I could make it there in time.

What I did accomplish, outside of the normal routine:

• Unloaded a ton of stuff at Goodwill. I was going to stop after the graduation ceremony, anyway. Tom and I had already loaded up my car with bags and boxes of things to donate.
• Treated myself to a pedicure and manicure. Unusual for someone in a frenzy, I know, but the salon is next door to Goodwill. I'm 52, but I can count the number of pedicures I've had in my life on one hand - I think this was number 5 - and this was only the second manicure I've ever had. The other one was part of a spa day gift from Tom in honor of my 30th birthday. (What is wrong with me?)
• Promised myself I won't wait another year for a pedicure, or another 22 years for a manicure.
• Made a few baby steps of progress on starting my business. No, I didn't finalize the name, but I made progress. That's what I have to focus on.
• Sorted through several boxes of stuff and weeded out more stuff to give away. I'm a hoarder collector, but I'm started to have pity on my kids when they have to go through my things later. (Of course, if Tom's still around, it'll be easy on them. He'll just dump it all or burn it.)
• Paid bills and made a dent in the laundry. (No explanation needed here - these things never wait patiently.) 

Tom spent most of Saturday on a Habitat-for-Humanity type project. It's not HFH, but a similar program his company partners with a few times a year. He loves using his carpentry skills to help people.

On his way home he picked up a new (to us) elliptical trainer and stationary bike he found on Craig's List. We have our own little gym again, for less than the cost of a gym membership. Yay, Tom! 

He's putting his Craig's List truck to good use!

On the Today Show this week, I found out about something that apparently everyone else already knows about - 1000 Awesome Things.

How did I miss this? Especially as a blogger? (If you, like me, have had your head in the ground lately and haven't heard about this, click on that link above and take a look - but then come back!)

Actually, what I want to know, is why didn't I think of this myself?

Even though I didn't, I'm going to blatantly steal borrow Neil Pasricha's premise and start looking on the bright side of things every day. Considering my current frenzied state, I think it will do me some good.

I also want to set a good example for my kids and prove to them that no matter how bad things get in a day, it's possible to find one little "sweet!" moment. I honestly believe that.

I apologize in advance because this means I might have two posts in a single day right here on Long Hollow, plus another one on Confessions. I forgive you if you don't always read them or comment, but I would like to hear about your "sweet!" moments too, if you have the time to share them. From here on out, I'll write them as separate posts and keep them in the Sweet! category so I can go back and remember little rays of sunshine on those dark days.

 So here we go with Sweet #1 (drumroll please)...

... Getting an email from my son just to say he loves me - and to tell me he has no cavities. When your grown children take charge of their lives, it can be so hard to let go, especially in those health care areas. After years of intensive, organized, methodical mothering and worrying over their health - doctor and dentist check-ups, prescriptions, etc. - you watch them fly out of the nest to other regions with unknown doctors and dentists and you can only pray they continue to take care of themselves. 

It took the suspicion of a cavity, but he did it. Sweet!

 

 

 

Thank you, BlogHer!

I think I've mentioned this before - I'm a book addict. I have boxes and boxes of books stacked in the boys' rooms downstairs, waiting for the library Tom has promised me  (and promised me... and promised me...)

(Okay, in his defense, he built this whole house ... even finished out my closet while he barely has a rod to hang his shirts on, so I understand a proper home for my beloved books isn't high on the priority list. Really I do. Sigh.) 

Anyway, back to my addiction...

Books fill windowsills and mismatched bookshelves that are scattered around the house. Books are stacked on tables, fill cabinets... you get the picture. I just can't throw a book away or resist "adopting" a homeless one (for the right price, anyway.)

But I think I've also already mentioned that I don't take time to read anymore - not books, anyway. Not often. I have good intentions and dream of reading all of the books I adopt, but the reality is they sit waiting, neglected, while I spend my hours trying to make money and chase the dreams I've put off for so long.

I miss reading a good book. There's nothing like it, getting sucked into the pages, caught up in the lives of the characters, becoming oblivious to everything around you, laughing, crying, getting mad.

Growing up I spent hours reading, and when the kids were younger we shared dozens of books over the years, 30 minutes at a time, every single night. When they got older, summers would find me next to the pool with a book in my hand while they splashed around with their friends.

Now they're grown up and I'm too busy trying to make money.

And that's why I'm so grateful to BlogHer - they started a Book Club and asked for reviewers. Immediately, I raised my hand. Not only would I be sent a book (for free!) but I'd be paid to read and write a review. Not much, mind you, but any little bit was enough justification to me.

The first book I read for the Book Club, Caleb's Crossing by Geraldine Brooks, is a historical fiction, a genre I love, but it's been awhile since I read one I enjoyed this much. It was tough to put it down! It's about the first Native American to attend Harvard, although for me it was more of a coming-of-age story about a young girl named Bethia who befriends him.

If you're interested, click HERE to read my review and others on BlogHer. (But if you decide to buy it, please come back here and click on my link!)

Now (thanks to BlogHer) I'm reading a memoir - A Jane Austen Education, by William Deresiewicz. After my adventure with Caleb's Crossing, I was tempted to jump into another novel, but this one called to me for some reason, and I'm glad I picked it. Stay tuned for my review later this month.

Besides giving me an excuse to read, BlogHer also recently gave me a chance to try some new dog food (well, for Belle to try some new dog food) and to give readers a chance to win a $100 Visa gift card.  I won't give any of the details away here, though ... if you're interested, click HERE to read my review on Purina Pro Plan Selects and see how to win.

Okay, I'll tell you this much - all you have to do is leave a comment on my review blog (not here) to be entered to win. (Although I love reading your comments, here, too!)

You'll also get to read a little about me and my dogs and see some cute pictures of them. And also find out how to increase your chances of winning!

Good luck, and I hope you're having a great week!

A Nose Update, No Sleep, and other Thursday Tidbits

The Nose

I can't imagine - don't want to imagine - how it feels to have big chunks of plastic shoved up your nose filling up the entire space so that you need to breathe through your mouth but your throat is in red, raw agony from the trach tube shoved down it a week ago and every breath you take hurts like hell...

...So when Tom's blowing and snorting and getting up and down wakes me every hour or so, all night long, I remember how miserable he must feel right now. I don't even think of complaining. 

(Well, there was that one night when I went, sssshhhhhh....)

(But that was just one time, one night, and other than that, I've been really sympathetic. Really.)

Poor Tom.

The stents come out tomorrow - hallelujah!! We're both looking forward to getting some sleep this weekend.

The Lens

Tom bought some special glue a week or so ago, intending to glue that broken piece back onto my injured lens. He had stored the teensy, tiny black piece of plastic between the lens and the lens cap. Somehow, sometime between the breaking and the intended fixing, the piece disappeared.

I thought that was it - no hope of using that lens ever again. So I got creative with my zoom and discovered I could actually do a lot with it.  I would just make do with it until (way, way off in the distant future) we could afford a new mid-range lens.

But guess what? It turns out you can order a whole new mounting piece - that's the part that chipped upon impact with the concrete floor. (If you don't know that heartbreaking, I mean, lensbreaking story, click HERE.)

Tom placed the order two days ago, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed the lens arrives before the weekend, when I'll be reconnecting with lots and lots of faces from my past. If it doesn't, I'll just make due with the zoom again. 

One thing's for sure, ... either way, I'll be snapping lots of photos!

 

Early Morning

During the week, I head out to walk the dogs as soon as it's light enough to see my feet. That way, I time it just right to catch something like this...

And this is really how it looked one morning this week, too - no color saturation or playing with tones, light, shadows or anything. 

It almost makes it worth getting up that early... almost.

(I posted several more "Fire in the Sky" shots on Confessions last night. If you want to see them, click HERE.)

 

When I have time to read...

I started reading a new book last week. Well, it's actually an old book, and I've read it two or three times already, but you know what I mean.

I'm not sure why I started it - I'm already in the middle of a handful of nonfiction and fiction books, including Cold Mountain, which I just can't seem to get into, despite loving the movie. I'm just plodding along through it, not eager at all to read the next page. And I have stacks - no, boxes - of books I've collected with the very real intention of reading them someday. Just a week or so ago, TG and I hit the book sale room at our local library and I left with 15 books ($1 a piece, and the funds go to Friends of the Library - how could I resist?)

Anyway, it was pure impulse that made me search my bookshelves for C.S. Lewis' Space Trilogy - "Out of the Silent Planet", "Perelandra", "That Hideous Strength" - and dive head-first into volume one. 

The first time I read them, I was dubious. I didn't think I cared for science fiction. (I have no idea why I thought that -  I saw "Star Wars" 5 or 6 times the first week it was out in 1977! This was only a few years later!)

But Paula, a woman I worked with at the chemical plant, could not believe I'd never read them. She insisted I give them a chance, loaned me her copies, and assured me I would love them.

She was right. 

I eventually found my own well-worn copies in a Goodwill or at a garage sale or somewhere, and even convinced one of my kids to read them, despite the cheesy '60's style paperback artwork. And he liked them, too. When he saw my nose in Out of the Silent Planet this weekend, he told me he wants to read them again when I'm finished.

But anyway, what I wanted to say is, I recommend these books ... even if you don't think you like science fiction or fantasy, I think these are worth reading. They're really very thought-provoking - the kind of book that sticks in your brain for years.

If you try them, let me know what you think.

Besides C.S. Lewis, I read some wonderful blog posts this week. Two stood out enough that I want to mention them here, even though they are by bloggers I wasn't familiar with until now. If you have a few minutes,  I recommend reading these, too.

The first I came across on BlogHer - "The Red Underwear: Gifts and Giving". Every woman should read this one.

(I mean it. Do it. Now. You'll thank me.)

The second is one of the most beautiful posts I've ever read: The Gift, by Bossy Betty. I think both men and women will be touched by this one.

I was directed to it by Hilary at The Smitten Image. I don't know how she does it, but every week she scours the blog world for the best posts and photographs, and lists them for the rest of us on her Wednesday Posts of the Week feature. I still haven't even had time to read all that she listed this week. But thank you, Hilary!

 

A Good Quote

I came across this one today, and it took me by surprise, in that weird way like when you feel someone has read your mind, because I had been thinking of all the books I've read in my life, and how even the ones I didn't care for had affected me in some way, and gee, can't that apply to the places I've been and the people I've met as well? 

Thomas Wolfe said it much better than I did just now, though: 

I am a part of all that I have touched and all that has touched me.

And that includes you. Happy Thursday!

September...

I heard Daughtry sing his new song "September" today. I've heard it before, but it wasn't until the words drifted through my head this morning that I realized it could be a theme song for this Fifty decade I'm traveling through.

"How the time passed away..."

It's depressing to think about, and kind of hard to even imagine it right now, but I'm in the September of my life! Up until now I've thought about it as a halfway mark, and it is, but it's also the beginning of the third season. The Autumn of my life. Wow. 

Spring - my gosh, it seemed to last forever, didn't it? When I was little, time seemed to stand still. Minutes were full, plump, juicy. I could linger over them, take my time, taste every little morsel. I can close my eyes and still taste them.

Summer - life picked up speed. That's when my juggling act began... work, husband, kids, the laundry, bills... an endless list (that somehow still continues!) I set myself and my dreams up on a shelf. Time for those later; my little ones need me right now.

I wasn't aware of seasons back then. One day ran into another, weeks turned into years turned into gray hairs and wrinkles. But two or three years ago, I felt it - something different in the air, a shift in the wind. A restlessness inside me.

"Of all the things I still remember
Summer's never looked the same
The years go by and time just seems to fly
But the memories remain..."

Remember when you were little and the thought of the new school year excited you a little, even though summer vacation was ending? That's the feeling I had about my approaching 50th birthday. And even though that day has come and gone, and I'm looking ahead to my 52nd, I still feel the same way. I love this 50 decade!

"The days are so long that summer's moving on
We reach for something that's already gone..."

It's a reflective time, for sure, but magical in a way. A time to dig out memories and sort through regrets, tossing those that serve no purpose, but re-filing those that have no expiration date into the "To Do" pile (Drop out of college? Go back now!) While you're at it, take Yourself and your Dreams down from that shelf and dust them off.

One of those dreams of mine is writing. It has bounced on and off that shelf so many times that it has a few knicks in it now, but it's still in one piece and worth holding on to, I think.

"In the middle of September we'd still play out in the rain.
 Nothing to lose, everything to gain..."

So I'm writing a book. Not the first book I've written, but the one I want to see through to the very end first. (The characters in my first book are used to me coming and going into their story. They're waiting patiently for me to get back to them.)

And I'm blogging, sharing my thoughts, experiences and whatever else comes to mind with who ever cares to read it. Writing a book is solitary; blogging is more social, but I sometimes wonder when I write a post if anyone will read it and I hope that they'll take the time to share their thoughts about it with me.

Today, thanks to BlogHer, all of this... the seasons, the reflections, the writing, the subsequent reactions from others... all of it came together for me when they syndicated one of my posts, "To the Young Mom on Aisle 7" on their site. (Click here to read it and BlogHer.com and here to read the original post.)

I was surprised at how many comments it garnered - and even more surprised by some of the reactions it triggered in others. Some readers accused me of judging the mom. Huh?

It made me wonder if my writing wasn't clear enough if they'd gotten that impression, but then others obviously understood it was merely a reflective piece, that seeing the mom in the grocery store had sent me spinning back in time to the days I had three little ones tagging along everywhere I went, when I always seemed to be in a hurry, always had so much to do, that I sometimes overlooked the most important "to-do's" that were standing right in front of me, tugging on my shirt and saying Mama. 

I have no idea if this mom was guilty of that or not. I know that I was at times, way back when... heck, I still am (just ask my kids!), and seeing her reminded me of that and made me wish for some do-over's.

"Reflecting now on how things could've been... "

Alas, we don't get do-overs. But if we're lucky, we get another day to just do the best we can. 

"Now it all seems so clear, there's nothing left to fear."