Long Hollow

The Simple Things are the Sweetest

Dawn is waking to rain and thunder this morning. She must have pulled the covers back over her head because the Hollow is still dark outside my window, except for occasional flashes of lightning.

On a normal morning, the puppies and I would already be out on the dirt road, saying hello to the new day. Instead, they're snoozing in the laundry room, warm and dry and happy, and I'm playing catch-up on posting my sweet!s.

Rain is sweet during a drought, but especially when you were able to spend hours the day before feeling the sunshine on your skin.

Weeks...well, maybe months ago, Tom trimmed branches from the trees lining the creek. I told him I'd drag them to a burn pile, and I finally kept my word yesterday morning after my walk. I had a few free hours and was already coated in mosquito spray.

Even though the morning was warming up fast, the shade softened the heat. Wildflowers dotted the woods and a field of Mexican hats grew beside the burn pile. Birds chatted in the trees and the running creek sang to me as I cleared the creek and paths of fallen branches.

Sweat soaked my head and torso, tickling my nose, and bits of leaves and bark freckled my arms, but it felt good using my muscles to gather the branches, drag them uphill, and throw them on the growing pile. I've always loved repetitive work like that, when my thoughts are free to fly where they will.

The higher the pile grew, the younger I felt. I gave thanks for the morning, the sunshine, the flowers, the creek, the sweat...but mostly for the ability to do the job. When you're 54, you don't take that for granted.

 

And now for more sweet! moments from the past week...

 

Monday: friends sending you links to potential jobs; the anticipation of a weekend at the beach with girlfriends, even if it's still months away; a photoshoot with a fun family; wading in a lake on a hot day; fawns

Tuesday: relishing a soft summer morning with your puppies before a busy day at work; daily talks with your mom 

Wednesday: phone conversations with your mother-in-law; your mother-in-law winning $1000 on a $1 scratch-off lottery ticket; word that one of your photos will be featured in HuffPost 50 

Thursday: hearing a friend's voice for the first time in a year; dinner, lots of popcorn, and a Matthew McConaughy movie with girlfriends 

Friday: finally using a certificate for a massage your son gave you for Christmas; catching up with a dear friend; getting your client's photos to her on time and hearing that she liked them; old red trucks; your dad NOT having to go to the hospital 

Saturday: a road trip with your kids to spend Father's Day with your dad; your mom appearing stronger than the last time you saw her; hearing that your three Beach Yoga photos will soon grace the wall of a summer rental home belonging to a friend in Greece

Sunday: having the coffee ready and the newspaper on the table for your dad when he wakes up; hamburgers and cheesecake in honor of the father of your children; hearing that a friend was baptized this morning; green metallic beetles with orange legs

Monday: bouquets of mountain pinks dotting a hillside; a green heron posing for photos; sweating from physical labor; your little creek and nearby paths finally cleared of fallen trimmed branches; a few hours with, and a hug from, your baby girl; email and Facebook that can connect you to friends on the other side of the world

Tuesday: rain during a drought; unexpected time to post your Sweet!s of the Week; the moment storm clouds break to reveal blue sky 

I didn't quite finish this before the storm drifted past, with little patches of blue sky peeking down, reminding me to get the dogs out of the laundry room. I cut the walk short, though, and we stuck to the muddy road because I forgot to douse myself with mosquito spray. 

Mosquito spray is definitely a sweet! around here this summer. It's the simple things, right?

I hope you're remembering to notice the sweet, simple blessings in your life. Share them with me here and make them doubly sweet!

"I'm just a simple guy, I live from day to day. 
A ray of sunshine melts my frown and blows my blues away." 

~Jimmy Page, Robert Plant, and John Bonham, "Out On The Tiles" (Led Zeppelin)

 

A Rich Inheritance (Happy Father's Day!)

Friday my mother thought Daddy was having a stroke. She's seen enough of them to recognize the symptoms in him.

He wouldn't let her call an ambulance, so she called my sister, who in turn called me en route to their house. 

The kids and I already had plans to leave early yesterday morning to celebrate Father's Day with Daddy. I hoped we wouldn't be visiting him in the hospital, instead.

With my sister's next call, the relief in her voice soothed my worries. Daddy's blood pressure had already dropped and he seemed okay. She would stick around a little while, but didn't see a need to call an ambulance. Thank you, Lord!

So yesterday we were able to celebrate Daddy with lunch at Applebee's, just as he requested, and then hang out with him and Mama in my childhood home, talking around the kitchen table, dozing in front of the television...

...and giving thanks every single second.

We'll head home early today so the kids can spend time with their dad, too.

I'm wishing Tom's Pop a happy Father's Day in my heart. I can still hear his voice echoing in my mind. I hope it never fades away.

My heart goes out to his sons who are missing him so much today, this first Father's Day without him, wishing they could give him a call and tell him "I love you".

So I'll give mine an extra hug and "I love you" for them, and for all of you who are missing your fathers today.

In honor of Father's Day, I gave Daddy a print-out of "Why I'm My Father's Daughter". I'm re-posting it here. I'm so honored that it was chosen for "Best Lessons from Dad" - a slideshow on Huffpost 50 of posts about fathers. Hop over there and see what other daughters had to say about their fathers.

 

If Daddy answers the phone when I call my parents, our conversation is a quick one.

"I can't talk," he'll complain. 

"You sound fine to me," I'll tell him. 

"What? I can't hear you. Here's your mother."

And that's that.

Strokes have taken their toll on his vocal chords. The effort to speak is too much for him and his voice gives out after just a few words. Perhaps his hearing loss can be blamed on strokes, too. (Although hearing aids could help with that. Sigh.)

But he was never one to talk much, anyway, and especially not on the phone. If I wanted or needed to talk, I went to my mother. I could talk to her about anything, and I'm very grateful for that.

 

Daddy and I communicated in other ways, though. We teased each other and toured old houses. We fought over who was going to mow the yard.

He chauffeured me and my friends to the movies and high school basketball games before I got my license. He taught me how to drive, and tried to teach me how to play golf and be a better bowler...without much luck.

Instead, I tagged along with him on the golf course, satisfied to watch him and admire the beauty of the courses. We took road trips to visit his mother, traveling along the back highways with the windows down, stopping often to visit historical sites or other interesting places that caught my eye or his.

We square-danced.

 

 

But words still formed our greatest connection. I was seven, maybe eight, when I uttered that inevitable childhood chant: "I'm bored." 

 "Bored? Here, read this," he said, handing me an old, mildewed copy ofBlack Beauty, "You'll never be bored again."

Well, I'm not sure if those were his exact words, but they should have been. I was hooked, and as long as I've had something handy to read (and I try to make sure I do), I've never been bored again. 

Besides Anna Sewell's Black Beauty - and hence, every horse book I could get my hands on - Daddy got me hooked on historical fiction via James Michener and Leon Uris. It's still my first love.

He also introduced me to Leon Hale and his Texas-flavored, rambling, memoirish columns in the Houston Post (and then the Chronicle)...the inspiration for my own personal essays and blog posts, I'm sure. I still read his columns online.

Because of Daddy, I surround myself with books, and I'm partial to old ones.

I read our ancient copies of Black Beauty, Call of the Wild, Daddy-Long-Legs, and A Girl of the Limberlost over and over and over, and to this day the smell of a musty book takes me miles away in my mind to those stories.

When I enter an antique store, I head straight for the book section. Not to buy, necessarily, but just to breathe, feel, and say Hello, you're not forgotten.

Our house overflowed in paperbacks, too, though. Daddy always had one in his metal lunchbox, usually a Louis L'Amour, and when I followed in his steel-toed-shoe footsteps years later, I always carried a paperback with me to work.

Today neither of us consumes books like we used to. Daddy reads the morning newspaper, but then turns his attention to the television when he's not doing laundry or other household chores.

I'm always somewhere in a just-for-fun book, but it takes me forever to finish them, only cracking them open to read while I eat lunch. When I'm at home. And don't have something else I have to read.

But all of those books and words and voices still bind us, and despite the miles between us, and the words we cannot say, I feel him with me every time I open a book. 

Thank you, Daddy.

 

 

Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance. 

~Ruth E. Renkel

Tom and I don't have a lot of money, yet we are blessed with riches, thanks to our fathers.

Happy Father's Day to all of you who fills the role of father to someone!

 

The Sugar on Top, Part 2 - Happy 80th Birthday, Mom!

Today is my beautiful mother-in-law's 80th birthday. She didn't want a big celebration, although she deserves it after raising nine boys into nine wonderful men.

...Probably because that would tempt all nine boys plus their families to converge on her house (or nearby vicinity) all at once...and even for a wonderful mother, that's a lot of family to take all at once, especially after the year she's had.

She lost Pop in August, after a big reunion in July where almost all of the brothers overlapped in Florida for at least a day, celebrating Pop's 80th birthday and two brothers' 50th birthdays. Everyone converged again to celebrate his life at a beautiful wake and stayed as long as they could to help Mom get things settled. 

While she's always amazed me (can you imagine raising nine boys?) her grace and strength over the past year have been such an inpiration to me. But then, from the moment I met Tom almost thirty-two years ago, Mom has been teaching me about faith and hope. Thanks to her gentle guidance, I eventually converted to Catholicism, although I knew she would love and accept me whether I did or not.

Instead of one big celebration for her birthday, she's getting a few mini-celebrations over the month. One son visited last week and Tom is there now, along with two other sons (one lives nearby) and our son Daniel. I'm sure the days have been filled with plenty of cribbage and 3-13, and the requisite name-calling and cussing that goes along with the competition.

She may be joyful and quick with a hug, but watch out for her when you're playing cards!

I would love to be able to give her a big hug and let her stomp me as usual in 3-13 today, but I'm just grateful I was able to share Tommy's wedding with her last month, where she danced with her sons, grandsons, and even the bride.

Now here I am, a mother-in-law myself. If I'm only half as good at it as Mom has been, my daughter-in-law is a lucky woman. I learned from the best.

Happy 80th birthday, Mom. Thank you for embracing me as your daughter all those years ago...for all the hugs and help...and especially for your grace and strength that comes from your immense faith. I love you!

A mom's hug lasts long after she lets go.  ~Author Unknown

 

For more about Mom, read The Sugar on Top, Part 1.

Five Things from La-La Land

Linking with A Rural Journal's Random 5 Friday 

 

1. 

 

This card, full of words of love and encouragement and inspiration, waited for me in the mailbox earlier this week, a precious gift from my friend Rae. 

How could I not share them with you, because the words are true for all of us, aren't they? Take a minute to read them and believe them. You are very special.

Thank you again, sweet Rae!

 

2.

In a previous life, Jeannie was my kids' high school Spanish teacher. A few years ago she retired to follow her dream of becoming a missionary in Honduras through SAMSUSA.org.

I subscribe to her newsletters and in today's I found this note that made me really stop and think. I thought it was worth sharing with you, too...

 

Dear Mission Partners,

I’ve been thinking a lot about what we pray for. I hear so many people resolve their problems and say, Oh, if God would just.....let me pass the exam, give me the dream job I want.... everything would be good and I could handle it from there. We want Him to hand our desires to us and back off. We want the control back. We think we know what’s best for us. When he doesn’t answer our prayer we feel abandoned. God doesn’t care.

We often never consider that He has other plans for us, probably much better plans that we have concocted to solve our problems and make us happy. Usually he makes us wait for His plans and the waiting is very hard when we see our solution just within our grasp. The solution is so obvious! Why won’t He just give it to us?

His plans are so much more comprehensive than our solutions. We don’t see His huge map. Like Sara with Abraham, we tire of waiting and substitute our plans for His. But the true solution is His. What we have done in the meantime may only complicate things.

I’m pretty clear on what I want. I work toward it and pray I am in line with what He wants. But I am praying that His Will, not mine, be done. I am praying to be obedient. Because I know He’s in control. And I have found his plans to be much better than mine. For His Sake,

Jeannie 

Jeannie does amazing work there with the poverty-stricken, transporting children to doctor's visits, among tons of other things. If you're interested in donating to support her mission, send me an email and I'll send you hers.

 

3.

"If you're lost and alone...or you're sinking like a stone...carry on.
May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground. Carry on."

~ Fun

Speaking of inspiring and energizing things, Fun. was on the Today Show this morning. This song has been in my head all day. (I'm not complaining!)

 

 

4.

It rained all day today, and I didn't mind a bit because I had no where to go. That's one of the good things about not having a real job beyond writing and a fledgling photography company. (The bad thing about it is the lack of a paycheck, of course.)

Anyway, rain makes me pensive, so I flipped through a few of the journals where I noted details of our lives for about twenty-five years. 

There were some tough times, I'll tell you, but one thing I noticed was how I always ended with a positive note...using words like 'faith' and 'prayer' and 'blessings'. I remember some of those times vividly, the ache and the worry and the fogginess of the road ahead of us.

I love seeing it from this perspective, how the paths opened up and the sun came out again. I was reminded again that God has a plan, that he's got our backs, which is a helpful reminder right now when the road ahead has gone all foggy again.

Tom says I live in La-La Land, where there's always a silver lining and everything is hunky-dory. He says it like it's a bad thing.

But if we've prayed for God's guidance and truly trust him, how can we not think everything is hunky-dory, even if we can't see it from where we're standing at the moment?

 

 

5.

The proof of that hit home when I read through my notes written during my oldest son's heartwrenching high school years...and compare them to the joy and love I see on his face in the short video below of The. Most. Beautiful. Wedding. Ever. Amen. by amazing videographer Adam Grumbo. (I can't wait for the full video!) 

My prayers of so long ago have been answered. My mother-tears were not in vain.

(It takes a minute to buffer, so take my advice -  go grab a tissue while it loads...)

 

Longhorns and other sweet!s

 

 

Yesterday I helped a friend celebrate her son Ryan's graduation from the University of Texas. 

We enjoyed beer, barbecue, and a cake decorated like Big Bertha, the large drum wheeled around at halftime performances, because Ryan was on the Big Bertha team for the Longhorn Band.

I got to see all of my kids and spend time with friends in a beautifully landscaped backyard close enough to campus to see the fireworks through the trees at the end of the ceremony. 

It was a very sweet! day!

(We watched the ceremony itself on television in the air-conditioned comfort of the house, and I'm glad because summer has officially arrived in Austin, Texas. Whew! That was sweet!, too!)

Here are some others from the last half of the week. (I'm trying to stay on track now!)

Wednesday: being able to wish your husband a happy birthday; chocolate torte

Thursday: getting a parking spot downtown when you need it; hanging out in a genealogy library; dinner with your son; the floppy ears on German Shepherd puppies; attending a panel on writing with your son

 

Friday: a call from a dear friend; Panda Express fortunes that come true; bumping into a friend in Walmart; the smell of warm brownies; the taste of warm brownies 

Saturday: celebrating a friend's son's graduation from the University of Texas; Rudy's Barbecue; getting to see all of your kids  

 

Sunday: your friend sneaking into Mass even later than you; a bee buzzing up to a Texas Thistle just as you snap the photo, even if it makes you jump; spotting a Green Heron in a tree down the creek

 

I hope you've had a week full of sweet! moments. If you find yourself getting down, start looking for them. They're there, just waiting to be noticed, and it's one of the best ways to climb out of the dumps! (The absolute best is helping someone else, of course.)

What was one of the sweetest moments of your past week?

Happy Birthday, anyway, Tom!

When the rain started around 3 am, pounding on the house like we were under a giant faucet, Tom remembered he left his car windows down. A mad dash in the rain up the hill in the middle of the night isn't the greatest way to start your birthday. 

I think the worst of it came through our area just as he left for work. I prayed for his angels to stick close to him while he maneuvered the wet highways in his little Suzuki Samurai, trying not to think of another wet May morning in 1998 that changed our lives.

He'll be working late tonight (still catching up from those days off for the wedding) and so we have no special plans. Last night he met the boys for beer and pizza after work, though. His kind of celebration, for sure.

Before writing this, I glanced over some other posts I wrote in honor of his birthday. I had to shake my head when reading this in Grateful for #53:

So I wasn't surprised when I asked him what he wanted for his birthday and he said: "Don't get me anything. Just pay off the credit cards." 

I'm trying. I've made progress. Substantial progress. But it's a constant tug between needs, wants and finances, a battle we're intimately familiar with - we've been a mostly one-income family since soon after we married, when he quit work to go to college. We just switched places after our youngest was born. 

Now that we're Empty Nesters, I've doubled my "paid" hours. The catch is, without a college degree, my pay ... and my choices ... are limited. I try to make up for both - the pay and the fulfillment - with my writing. Blogging brings in a little bit of money; my play and my book, not so much ... yet. I joke that they're our retirement plan - once they're finished, I'll make a million dollars and we can both retire. But the only way that can happen is if I write, and the trick there is finding time to write. Between the 'paid' job and life, there's not much time left without dipping into my sleep, and when I skimp on sleep ... well, I'm back where I started, full circle: Tom worries. About me.

But I haven't given up. If being broke and juggling finances for years has taught me anything, it's to be creative and frugal. Being frugal just gets so tiring. But Tom's worth it. 

I feel bad that I won't be able to give him what he asked for this year, but I'll do my best for #54. I have a feeling he'll be asking for the same thing, anyway."

I shook my head because he still hasn't gotten this wish. But I haven't given up doing my part to see it come true by finding a job that will do more than slow the sinking. I know it's out there!

(Are you hiring? Contact me! I can do anything - seriously!)

Anyway, I'm wishing my dear husband sunshine on his birthday, even if it's only in his heart and not in the sky. A lightness and sense of hope that comes from faith. And I'm giving him all of my love, as always, and thanking God for letting me share my life with him for so long. 

Happy 56th birthday, Tom!

 

Mother's Day and A Sweet Confession

Here it is, my confession: I've fallen out of the habit of looking for those sweet! moments in every day. It hasn't been too much of a problem until now, what with The Wedding and Mother's Day and all, because they overflowed in sweetness.

But today. Ah, today. A Monday by any other name would still be a Monday, if you know what I mean. So even though the calendar said it was Tuesday, once I stepped into the winery this morning, I knew it was really a Monday, with all of its Murphy's Law madness. 

Nothing big. Just one little thing after another that kept me a little grumpy all day, and now here I sit with brain freeze, needing to pay bills and finish laundry, wanting to work on my book, but overwhelmed with...everything.

I just want to climb in bed and forget about today.

That's what happens when I stop really paying attention to the sweet!s. 

So for my peace of mind I need to walk backward through the day with open eyes and find those sweet!s I was too blind to notice earlier.

...First of all, after writing that first part I took a break out on the porch swing, letting the evening breeze ruffle my hair, imagining it filtering into my brain and cleaning out the cobwebs.

A cedar tree creaked in the wind, the leaves rustled, my wind chimes played in harmony with the evening songbirds. Belle and Max lay nearby, eyes open, just listening with me. 

No matter what else happened today, that was all pretty sweet!

But my day began with a sunrise walk with my life-loving puppies. Besides all of the yellow flowers, prairie verbena, and Indian Blankets that are blooming right now, the cactus are dotted with delicate yellow flowers that should have reminded me that sweet! moments can transform the thorniest of days.

 

And then there was Mother's Day.

Over the weekend, I saw all three of my kids, plus my mom. Not all at the same time, but I'm grateful for what I can get!

Friday night my oldest came to see us, bearing gifts from their honeymoon adventures in Italy. He brought me a bottle of wine from one of the vineyards they visited in Tuscany and this gorgeous bracelet from Venice made of Murano glass beads.

 

I always regretted not buying some of that beautiful glass on my own trip in 1976. 

 

Thank you, Tommy and Kirby! (How did they know?)

I stayed up later than I intended, listening to Tommy's stories from Italy, making him look at my old Italy photos from '76, laughing over funny videos, and watching (dozing through) an episode of Game of Thrones, but it was worth losing a few hours of sleep.

Saturday morning I dropped groceries off for TG who was in the middle of finals (and got a quick hug) then picked up my middle one for a road trip to Houston to spend Mother's Day with my mom.

We celebrated with lots of family over lunch on Sunday at an Italian restaurant. 

(I forgot to get one of Mama with the grandkids until she was already in the car. But I love it!)

Daniel gave me an updated version of my absolute favorite cookbook - Cooking Texas Style. I ordered mine out of Country Living magazine back in 1983. Its pages are smudged and worn from use.

This latest version is not only cleaner, but it has all of my old favorites, plus a bunch of new recipes I can't wait to try!

 

Thank you, Daniel!

And now, the Squirrel.

Every time I drive to Houston I pass this huge squirrel at the Berdoll Pecan & Gift Company outside of Bastrop...and I always wish I had stopped and gotten a photo of it. 

Okay, with it.

So this time I did.

 

And bless his heart, Daniel agreed to be in the photo with me since there was a couple who could take the photo for us.

I am one lucky mom!

Here are a few other sweet!s from the past few weeks that I actually did jot down, but I don't think I officially posted...

Seeing an owl swoop past at dusk; the Hoary Bat; fireflies; finally watching the Hunger Games movie with your son; getting a score of 26 in a game of 3-13 with your mother-in-law; a mani-pedi; your own cowgirl boots courtesy of your sweet friends; hummingbirds; a friend's help on the centerpieces for your son's rehearsal dinner; dancing at your son's wedding; YOUR SON'S WEDDING!; photo-booth pictures; keeping up with the honeymoon via Instagram and Facebook; chocolate-covered strawberries; spending a week with your grandpuppy; a free prime rib dinner with friends; wildflowers lining the road

I hope you pay attention to the sweet!s in your week! I'm going to make sure I do!

 

 

Rambling about Dogs, Children, and Butterflies

 

The sun still yawned under a light gray blanket this morning when the puppies and I headed out for our walk.

Josie, my grandpuppy, took the lead as usual; she's still excited about her visit to the country. Belle, my sweet companion, fell into step near me. She never strays too far from my side for long. Max lagged behind, probably worn out from trying to keep up with the youngsters all week.

Tomorrow evening my son, the newlywed, will be coming to take Josie home. I'll miss that little girl. We've had some great conversations and cuddle-time, but I look forward to seeing Tommy and hearing about their adventures in Italy.

This will be my Mother's Day visit from him, since I'll be in Houston visiting my mother on Sunday. I'll probably see the other two on Saturday. One might even travel with me to Houston, but it's still kind of iffy.

When the kids all lived at home, Mother's Day morning found me lying in bed, pretending to be asleep, listening to pans banging and Tom coaching them through fixing me a big bacon, eggs, and toast breakfast.

But once they started leaving the nest, it was rare to see them - especially all three at once - much less have a kid-cooked breakfast, because college finals usually fell around Mother's Day. 

But I'm grateful I can spend that special day with my mom, trying to make up for way too many Mother's Days that I spent with my friends on a Galveston beach instead of with her. (Kids! Sigh.)

I also go see her because it would be wrong not to, when so many of you would give anything to be able to tell your moms Happy Mother's Day in person, just one more time.

Anyway, back to this morning's walk...

I spotted a butterfly clinging to a low juniper branch. It fluttered a bit but stayed put as I snapped one photo after another, drawing ever closer.

The fact that it didn't fly away worried and concerned me. For some reason, I got the impression it was stuck to the branch, trying to get loose. Wanting to help, I put my finger out to help free it. It climbed onto my finger, but then fluttered to the ground, wings out, lying still.

Oh great, I thought. Now what I have I done?

I shooed the dogs away from it and started to continue on my walk, but worry and guilt got the best of me. I returned to the butterfly, found a small twig, and put it near its little feet. It clung to the twig, so I lifted it back up to where I first found it. It returned to the juniper branch, so I dropped the twig, and, again, started walking away.

But...what if it really wanted to be on the ground? Maybe I helped it the first time and just messed things up the second time. What if...what if...what if...?

I said a prayer for the little thing, and kept walking, trusting God to fix whatever I might have screwed up.

 

Then I thought about my kids (because that's the way my brain works and it is almost Mother's Day, after all) and about all the times I tried to help them. So often I just seemed to mess things up instead of making them better.

What if...what if...what if...?

And that's when I told myself to just shut the heck up, because what's done is done. I can honestly say my kids are awesome people, and whether it was despite me or because of me, it doesn't matter.

I know I did the best I could along the way for those beautiful creatures God put in my life's path,  just as I did the butterfly, always with lots of prayer. So I'll just keep trusting God to fix whatever I might have screwed up with my kids, too.

What more can we do, as mothers and fathers, and hikers in the woods?

So.... at the grocery store a little later, I indulged and bought some chocolate-covered strawberries.

Happy Mother's Day to me!

And Happy Mother's Day to all of you mothers out there! 

May you indulge yourself with forgiveness for any past (or future) parenting mistakes. You know in your hearts, as I do in mine, that you did the best you could, and most likely, you did a whole lot more right than wrong. Amen.

Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn't know you had, and dealing with fears you didn't know existed.  ~Linda Wooten

 

God, Grant Me The Serenity...

Through the window, I see my brother-in-law's SUV pull up in front of the house. Several younger men gather to help maneuver my mother down from her seat and into the waiting wheelchair.

For a moment exhaustion pinches her face from the three-hour road trip and constant struggle to breathe, but then I see that familiar smile bloom wide, right to the edge of joyful laughter, so contagious that everyone around her smiles, too.

She said she wouldn't miss her grandson's wedding, and by golly, she made it.

I sigh in relief. Maybe she didn't have doubts about her attendance, but I sure did. Eight months ago, for reasons that still haven't been clearly diagnosed, her muscle strength and balance disappeared. Walking was already a challenge because of her asthma, but now she couldn't even stand without support.

At first she fought it, believing she just needed to push herself to build up her strength. She accepted the wheelchair as a temporary accessory, but if you turned your back for a second, she would jump up and try to walk. Upon waking in the morning, she would automatically head down the long hallway, alone and unassisted, to the bathroom.

Consequently, she fell. A lot. I witnessed a few of the falls myself, including one in the middle of the night when she took my dad down on top of her in the bathroom (he tried to stop her fall) and we subsequently spent the night in the emergency room.

I'm not sure how many other falls there were. She and Daddy tried to keep them secret.

"Mama, stop trying to walk without help. You don't want to miss the wedding, do you?" 

She didn't. But it still took a few reminders before she started behaving and playing it safe, using the wheelchair to go down the hall and letting Daddy hover nearby when she needed to stand.

It's been a tough transition for all of us. Mama has always been the caregiver, so strong she makes the Steel Magnolias look like a bunch of wilting lilies. She's the Serenity Prayer and "where there's a will, there's a way" all rolled up in one, put into action. When something needed to be done, she just did it, without any whining or woe-is-me-ing. 

She spent sleepless nights nursing us through the usual and not-so-usual childhood illnesses and injuries...encephalitis, whooping cough, dislocated hips. Later, in her forties, Mama maneuvered my quadriplegic brother's six-foot-frame in and out of his wheelchair, despite her petite size. And just a few years ago, in her late 70's, she took care of my older sister following her hip surgery. 

 

Mama was with me to welcome my firstborn into the world, watched him while I worked and his dad went to school, and attended every special event of his life. There was no way in hell she'd miss his wedding, even if it meant relying on others for a change and accepting life in a wheelchair...at least for a little while. 

God, grant me the serenity...

 

In honor of Mother's Day, Generation Fabulous asked us to talk about that other fabulous generation - our mothers. Whether we like it or not, and whether we knew them or not, our mothers helped shape us into the women we are today. I realize I'm blessed with an amazing mother and the chance to know her through the eyes of an adult, and I'm happy I got to share a little bit about her with you. To read more mom stories, go HERE.

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The. Most. Beautiful. Wedding. Ever. Amen.

 

(By Bloom Photography)

 

And I'm not saying that just because it was my son getting married.

Well, maybe I am a little partial, but it was also the setting, the weather, the bride, the groom (my son), the attendants (including two of my kids), the chaplain, the guests...

Trust me. It was absolutely perfect.

(by Drew Sartain)

A few raindrops kissed my face, but the rest waited until we were all in the reception hall, eating and laughing and dancing...after the sun broke through the clouds for a beautiful sunset right at the end of the ceremony.

I wish I had tons of photos for you, but I was forbidden from bringing my camera. The bride and groom wanted me to relax and be in the moment, instead of behind the lens, which is so sweet of them.

(I still brought it, of course, with the loophole idea of having someone else take photos with it at the reception, but in my rush to get out the door on time, I left my memory card in my computer at home because Tom had seen a bat swooping over the pond and I had gone out to take photos and wanted to get a close look at it so I loaded them on my computer and...oops.)

Anyway, you can imagine how my heart sank when I realized I couldn't take a single photo myself, but I'm glad the camera card is all I forgot to bring with me. And there were plenty of others snapping away. 

My mother and father were there, thanks to my sister and her husband, as well as Tom's mother and half of his brothers. We also celebrated with dear friends, kids I watched grow into amazing adults, and tons of people we are now officially related to by marriage.

I didn't cry. But my heart soared, filled with something that is so hard to describe, similar to our sparklers forming a tunnel for them at the end, all bright and shiny and warm. 

 

(by George Karr)

I'm so grateful for Facebook, because I know the newest Mr. and Mrs. Tom Shallue arrived safe and sound in Venice. I look forward to traveling vicariously through them around Italy the next few days, while I simultaneously ease back into my normal routine.

Life is good because love is real.

Amen.

 

(by Darla Thomas)

 

No. 1 of 5 - Because I'm from Texas

 

1.

Well, I got me some cowboy boots.

You might recall, from my Birthday post, that some of my friends pitched in to give me a gift card to buy a pair because I kept entering contests on Facebook trying to win some.

I debated on whether to be practical and buy an iPad or groceries with the gift card, but this past week I came to my senses and used the card as they intended me to, to buy boots.

I'm a Texan, after all.

 

And because I'm a girl, I used what was left on the card for a mani/pedi. I felt very self-indulgent.

(Thank you again, sweet friends!)

 

2.

I was standing on the front porch after my morning walk, filling up the puppies' water bucket, when I heard this buzzing sound. Just three feet away from me, a tiny hummingbird was investigating our red birdhouse. He finally gave up and buzzed away, leaving me feeling very blessed. 

Some things just remain amazing, no matter how many times you see them, don't they?

 

3.

My son's wedding is getting ever closer, but I'm not nervous or anything. During my own wedding, I calmed myself down so much I was semi-comatose...sorta zombie-like, only without the killing... and barely remember it.

I hope that's not happening again...

 

4.

My professional tagline is "writer, blogger, photographer" but I often doubt the veracity of it, and this is why:

I have written a dozen blog posts this past week - in my head. You'll never read them because I've already forgotten half of them, and wouldn't have time to write them even if I did remember them. 

I have some great ideas for improving my books and stories, but haven't had time to actually sit and work on them, or start the new stories buzzing in my head, or edit the dozens of photos I've captured this past week of flowers and birds and trees and other visions of spring here in the Hollow, much less post them on sites where they can be purchased.

But I've decided to  keep the tagline and consider myself a writer, blogger, photographer on hiatus, because... 

"In the provinces of the mind, "what one believes to be true either is true or becomes true."

~Panda Express fortune

 

 

5.

What I believe:

(sign outside of our church "Garden of Eatin'")

Amen.

I hope you have a great week! 

Be Still

 

It was a gray morning, the sun not yet able to break through the clouds above the Hollow or the dark thoughts clouding my brain. Worries and what-ifs mingled with sorrow for the people of Boston and scenes of the explosion in West were fresh in my mind.

My feet tread a familiar path through the woods, but I hardly paid attention. My camera dangled, forgotten, around my neck because I was too distracted by darkness to look for light.

Then, as I stepped into an area surrounded by tall trees, I heard it, the wind moving through their branches, singing a lullaby. A song straight from God to my heart.

"Be still."

That night, after a day of to-do's and running later than I'd hoped, I'd already forgotten that feeling of peace when I arrived at my meeting. Soft music and candlelight greeted me, thanks to the committee member in charge of our opening reflection.

"Be still and know that I am God," she read to us (Psalm 46:10) and once again I heard the trees' lullaby and God's voice: "Be still. Don't worry. I've got it."

For the next fifteen minutes or so, she guided us through a centering prayer, where we focused on interior silence, using a single sacred word to pull me back when those distracting thoughts try to pop back in and get me all rattled.

"Be still." The words have continued to echo in my heart, so simple, so full of love and comfort and security.

 

It's on the darkest night that you see the most stars, isn't it? When the moon and sun are both resting, the darkness provides a black backdrop to stars you would never even notice with a full moon on the stage, or when the sun rules the sky.

I think that's the way it is with sweet!s. When times get tough, that's when the sweet moments of our lives shine against the darkness. Once again we pay attention and give thanks for the simple things we all too often take for granted.

This past week, the shadows cast by terrorism and tragedy made me look closer for those bright spots I knew were there. 

 

Monday: a day off to play catch-up; a morning walk with happy dogs; turtles; cardinals at the birdfeeder; prairie verbena spreading everywhere; witnessing (via television) ordinary people becoming heroes

Tuesday: time for a long morning walk; a just-right day at work...not too busy, not too slow; spotting a Painted Bunting on your bird feeder

Wednesday: the sound of trees singing to each other; puppy kisses when you're feeling blue; praying with others for a small community hit with tragedy

Thursday: spending time with your baby girl, even if it's at the DMV and doctor's office; Five Guys cheeseburgers; arriving right on time everywhere on a tightly-packed day

Friday: trainees who catch on fast on a busy day at work; UPS and FedEX deliveries; your photos turned into beautiful greeting cards and prints; spotting a hawk out your kitchen window

Saturday: time for a long walk with your puppies and son before work; weddings, even on the sidelines; a belated birthday phone message from a friend; philosophical discussions with your son late at night

Sunday: sleeping in, late Mass with your son, and breakfast with friends; a walk with your son and puppies; the sun's kiss on your legs and arms; making a clean dent on a dirty house; your son making a delivery for you, saving you a trip into town

Monday: a forecast for absolutely perfect weather on your son's wedding day

 

A crazy, busy week awaits me, with one of the happiest days of my life ahead - the wedding of my oldest son. Talk about a bright light! But I'm determined to keep my eyes open and appreciate the simple blessings each day provides. I hope you do, too. Please share yours with me!

Five Things

1.

What a week full of tragedy, heartbreak, and heroism. First the bombing in Boston and subsequent acts of unselfishness and goodness that proved only light can conquer darkness...and that there's plenty of light in Boston. We witnessed it in the behavior of all of its citizens.

Next, the explosion in West, Texas, so close to home, where even more were killed and injured than in Boston. I've driven through that little town on my way somewhere else so many times, stopping for kolaches or to let the kids get rid of energy. In a tiny rural community like that a tragedy like this touches every resident and my heart goes out to them.

Now the earthquake in China. The numbers keep growing of those whose heartbreak is broadcast to all of us via the media...which means we can all pray for them. A universal prayer chain. An image glowing with light in yet another moment of darkness.

 

2.

I love sending cards to friends, but often don't have them on hand or the time to run out and buy one. So I decided to create my own...from my photographs and favorite quotes. I posted them on FineArtAmerica.com and placed my order. It arrived this week in a great box. 

I'm sending this one to all of those affected in #1, as well as anyone else reading this who is suffering loss right now.

 

 

"Oh heart, if one should say to you that the soul perishes like the body, answer that the flower withers, but the seed remains."

~ Kahlil Gibran

 

3.

Without excusing their behavior, I feel those two young men who planted the Boston bombs were merely pawns played by some greater evil who is sitting back, laughing at how they held us hostage for awhile and probably planning their next move. I pray I've raised my kids to be strong enough not to fall for false flattery, that they may never be manipulated in that way. 

4.

Just home from work yesterday evening, wondering where to get started on things I needed to do, one glance out the kitchen window put everything else on hold. A hawk perched in a tree overlooking our big pond ("big" only in comparison to our "little" pond; it's just a wide spot in a mostly dry creek right now, but it does have water!) I popped the 70-300mm lens on my camera and snapped a few through the window. Then I snuck out the front door, tiptoed around the corner, and managed to snap a few more before he swooped down to the pond. 

"Do you mind?"

They aren't great photos - he was pretty far away - but they're good enough to help me remember and be grateful that I stepped out of "to-do's" and just enjoyed the moment and this beautiful, amazing world around us.

 

5.

We're winding down to the Big Wedding of my son and his beautiful bride-to-be. For a long time the wedding was a year away, and now suddenly it's almost here! How does that happen?

So please don't forget me if I continue to be AWOL from your blogs for awhile, and negligent of emails and Facebook posts. But as my mom pointed out, Tommy's wedding is one of those once-in-a-lifetime things. A time to forget about the world and to-do lists and worries about the future, and focus, instead, on love and family and today.

"Once in awhile, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale." 

 
--Anonymous 

Birthday Cards and other sweet!s

Does anyone read blog posts in the middle of the night? It seems it's the only time I finally get to post, after finishing up the higher priority items on my to-do lists. 

BlogHer is asking for nominations for their Voices of the Year, in the categories of Heart, Humor, Inspiration, and OpEd. I had thought about nominating myself (that's what you do when you get older - you quit waiting on other people to toot your horn - you just do it yourself!) but to be honest, I can't think of a post that might have a chance of winning, so I'll probably just wait until next year.

I'm not putting myself down...it's just that I don't post about controversial stuff. And I don't cuss. Or have small children. I'm not an alcoholic or drug addict who had an abortion at 18.

I'm not complaining - I know I'm blessed. But those seem to be the criteria in the posts with the highest ratings, along with alcoholism, drug abuse, and abortions.

 I have too many other things on my plate to worry about. Namely, a wedding (my son's) and finding a job which is more than a job, but a career. And writing a book. And...

Okay, I'll stop and get on with this post, which is about birthday cards and other sweet!s of the past week.

 

Next year for my birthday, I'm going to go to Barton Springs Pool and wear a bucket on my head.

 

 

This is the card my son gave me. Inside it says: "It's your birthday, so take it easy. Relax. Wear a bucket on your head. Whatever."

 And he wrote: "Do you want to go to Barton Springs and wear a bucket on your head?

If I had said yes, he would have cringed, but I know he would have gone along with me, and my other two kids as well. As I've already said once in this post, I'm blessed. (Of course, they would have pretended they didn't know me, but that's understandable.)

My friend Tamara (Tamara, Tamara, Tamara!) sent me a card that proves she knows me very well...

 

 

And here are some other sweet!s of the week...

Monday: antelope horn blooming; spotting a rabbit's tail on a morning walk; a hug from an old co-worker/friend; reminiscing with a friend about your kids and old times

Tuesday: Russian accents; meeting a Headhunter who promised to critique your resume; a blog friend requesting to buy a series of your photos

Wednesday: a walk in the rain with your pups during a drought; homemade chicken soup and a fire in a fireplace on a cold, rainy day in a vineyard

 

Thursday: wildflowers bordering a Texas highway (they were beautiful, but I had to wait to take the photo when I was stopped at a red light, where they were more sparse); standing by your friend when she says goodbye to her mother; sharing memories of your childhood with people you still call friends; an evening with your parents

 

Friday: coffee and reading the newspaper at the kitchen table with your dad; sneaking a photo of your dad with your phone; new growth in an old neighborhood; red-winged blackbirds; splashes of primroses on a roadside that remind you of your wedding 30 years agoan afternoon with your daughter and seeing both of your sons

 

Saturday: time for a walk with your puppies before work; two elderly people finding love again; patches of bluebonnets; going to bed earlier than you expected 

Sunday: waking early enough to go to early Mass; the joy on your puppies' faces when you take them for a walk; baby turtles; your writing group liking your latest story; getting a lot of stuff done on your day off

I hope you have a fantastic week, full of sweet! moments! I'll leave you with one of my favorite photos...the red-winged blackbirds ignoring the kitties in my parents' backyard to meet at the birdbath...

 

 

Birthdays, Austin Adventures, and other Sweet!s

Once you reach a certain age, numbers become surreal. They change (faster and faster and faster) but you feel the same.

Wasn't it only yesterday I was cage dancing in honor of my 50th birthday? 

Way back in my thirties and forties, I set some goals for myself. By my 50th birthday, I planned to have graduated with at least a bachelor's degree and have a book published. There was also some vague notion that I would be able to play something that resembled music on my drums.

As that birthday approached, I cut myself some slack and extended the deadline to my 55th birthday. Surely that would be enough time to accomplish at least one of those goals.

Well, here I am at 54, and I know if the good Lord lets me reach my 55th birthday, odds are it's going to be without a degree or a published book, and my drumming will most likely continue to be a lot of loud noise that makes me happy...and everyone else want to plug their ears.

At first I thought about extending the deadline for those goals to 60. Instead, I'm tossing deadlines aside. Period. There are still dreams I'd like to see come true, but life is hard enough without the extra pressure we put on ourselves.

So more than ever, my goal for this year is just to take life as it comes, day by day, and do the best I can.

If I never get any closer to realizing those dreams than where I'm standing today, I'm okay with that. It's a good place, no, it's a great place to be.

I am truly blessed.

Yesterday my kids joined me as tour guides for a day of Austin Adventures. Despite living in the area for almost 20 years, there are so many "Austin" things I've never experienced.

We only made a dent in the list, but it was a great day, starting with brunch at Cherrywood Coffeehouse with my oldest, Tommy, and Andrew, a longtime friend of Tommy's from high school and college days...plus Andrew's beautiful wife and two precious kids. 

I believe birthdays are for experiencing 'firsts', so I ordered a smoked crayfish omelette...my first time to eat crayfish. And it was yummy!

From there we picked up my other two kids and headed for the eclectic shops lining South Congress. Costumes, art, antiques, and lots of interesting junk.  

There were also street musicians and food trailers! Oh, so many food trailers!

Still full from brunch, I settled on a 24 Carrot cupcake from the Hey Cupcake! trailer and shared it with the kids.

(Great timing! My future daughter-in-law was across the street at Home Slice with her best friend, on a break from wedding errands, so I even got to see her, which was like getting more cream cheese icing on my cupcake!)

From there we went to the highest spot in Austin - Mount Bonnell. By the time you drive there, it's only a few flights of stone steps to the top, where you get a gorgeous view of Lake Austin in one direction and the Austin skyline in the other. 

 

It's not exactly mountain-climbing. But my kids zoomed ahead of me and I was out of breath by the time I joined them at the top.

I have an old, old, old postcard that features a photograph of the state capital from Mount Bonnell and wanted to reproduce it. So you can imagine how disappointed I was that someone had the gall to build something mostly blocking the capital from view. Sigh.

You can barely see the tip of the capital peeking up, but the University of Texas Tower is standing proud and unobstructed at least, there on the left.

 

When I saw that I was testing the patience of my kids with all of the photos of us that I asked strangers to take and the amazing views, we headed to our last stop: Rainey Street, a historic dictrict recently converted to a strip of bars and restaurants.

I was ready for something to eat and drink, but I confess the biggest draw for me to Rainey Street was Geraldine, a guinea fowl who lives in the area. She's been in the news, trying to warn people of her existence so she doesn't get run over. She even has her own Facebook page.

So you can imagine my excitement when, as soon as we pulled into a parking space, Daniel said "Hey, there's a guinea fowl pecking at the tires."

In a flash I was scrambling out of the car, telling her how pretty she was and snapping photos. Yes, I was star struck. Oh, if we had only known about her back when Frankie was alive. They would have made a beautiful couple!

 

I caught up to my kids and we headed into Craft Pride, where there's a mind-boggling selection of craft beers. My taste for beer is slowly recovering from the initial menopausal shock from a few years ago. I'm not sure if that's good or bad, but it was fun sitting on the patio behind the bar, sipping on a beer and talking to my kids.

(That just seems so weird.)

After that, we wandered down the street, trying to decide where to eat. We picked the Javelina Bar, because Tommy had been there before. The food was great! (So were the Bloody Mary's. Hey, it was my birthday, and I had a designated driver!)

I have to thank my wonderful kids again for helping me celebrate my birthday. I've always had lots of fun with them, whether it was visiting the playground at McDonald's or the Natural Science Museum in Houston or the zoo, and it's still awesome to spend so much time with them.

If I never accomplish a single thing in my life, it's okay with me, because I played a part in bringing those three into this world. And that's something special. In a good way. 

And then, would you believe the fun  and celebrations continued today?  I met some of my local Deer Park Divas at Jack Allen's Kitchen for an amazing brunch. (I swear I've gained 10 pounds this weekend!)

Gwen made a Red Velvet Cake and Darla solicited contributions for a gift card for me to buy some cowboy - er, cowgirl - boots. I've been trying and trying to win some through contests on Facebook, with no success. I think they felt sorry for me.

My friends are so sneaky and amazing and I love them all.

As I said, I am blessed. Amen.

And now for the official "Sweet!" list from the past week...

 

Monday: listening to the writings of 4th graders; the silky soft fur of a bunny rabbit; taking a break on a small terrace beside a little pond with your husband, listening to the birds sing above you and the trickle of a small waterfall

Tuesday: finishing a long walk with your puppies just before the rain begins; enjoying the sight, sound, and smell of a spring shower from the shelter of your porch; fewer mice turds in your car, indicating the party might be moving somewhere else; a day of much-needed heavy rain

Wednesday: recovering from your fright long enough to remove the little mouse hiding in your glove box and place it in the woods; gumbo with grilled shrimp and smoked duck for lunch on a rainy day; two days in a row of customers with British-y accents; no damage from the high winds that kept you awake the night before

Thursday: no more mouse poop in your car!; gathering with friends for a movie and dinner, especially when it's in honor of your birthday; movies starring Billy Crystal and Bette Midler

 

Friday: picking up your new $1 iPhone from the post office; amazing magic tricks performed by a high school student; {bittersweet} getting off work early enough to attend a friend's funeral

Saturday: your 54th birthday; brunch with your son and his friend; seeing your son's childhood friends all grown up, with kids of their own; exploring Austin with your kids as tour guides; the view of Austin from Mount Bonnell; Hey Cupcake; meeting Geraldine the Rainey Street Guinea Fowl

Sunday: pancakes after Mass; continuing your birthday celebration with sweet friends, a delicious brunch buffet, Bloody Mary's, and Red Velvet Cake; friends who pool funds together to get you something you couldn't afford to get yourself; Polish pottery; helping a friend celebrate her book release (Susie Kralovansky's "There Was a Tall Texan Who Swallowed A Flea"); an afternoon walk in warm sunshine with your puppies

 

 

I hope you all had a week full of sweet! moments! If you don't think you did, pay more attention! I swear, they're there!

 

 

Linking with

Alleluja!

"Because Christ rose from the dead, we know that sin and death and Satan have been decisively defeated."

~ Billy Graham

It rained today. Normally, that's not what you want on Easter Sunday, but when you're in the middle of a drought like we are, rain is an Easter blessing. 

And then the sun came out this afternoon. Perfect!

I threw 'healthy' away this morning and fixed bacon and eggs for breakfast for my two boys and myself (blueberry muffins for Tom)...then I indulged in Reese's peanut butter eggs...and ate a delicious dinner which included ham AND lamb, potatoes au gratin, and cheesecake. 

But being Easter, it was a day of celebration, not a day to worry about calories or arteries or, um, trying to fit into the clingy dress you bought for your son's wedding less than a month away. Hmmm.

Anyway...unfortunately, sometime during the night a bunch of field mice had a celebration of their own inside my car, leaving little mice turds everywhere! We have no idea how they got in...but thank goodness they got out again. I had to spend quite a bit of time today vacuuming and wiping down every surface (ugh!) and I'm just hoping they're through celebrating... at least in my car!

Despite the rain and the mouse turds, it was a gloriously sweet! Sunday. I hope it was for you, too.

Here are a few other sweet!s from the past week...

 

Monday: a friend who knows how to (possibly) recover your photos from your re-formatted camera card; bluebonnets popping up everywhere despite the dry winter

Tuesday: the full moon waiting up for you; margherita pizza; especially when you're really, really, really hungry; a package containing the new shoes you ordered waiting on your doorstep 

Wednesday: a long walk with your puppies; a chorus of cardinals; writing; playing your drums; Macy's putting Keurig coffee makers on sale when your old pot is dying 

Thursday: (almost) catching up on email; regaining your lost NEF photo files, thanks to your friend

Friday: decorating your house for Easter while listening to Third Day; Stations of the Cross outdoors; sharing funny videos with your son

Saturday: a walk with your puppies and grandpuppy before work; your sons helping you prepare dinner; playing ping-pong, listening to music on the back porch watching the sunset, then enjoying a movie with your sons after work

Sunday: Easter; making breakfast for your baby boys; a church overflowing with people singing Alleluja; sharing Easter dinner with friends; Easter egg hunts; wishing your baby girl Happy Easter, even if it's from a distance

A new month starts tomorrow, can you believe it? I hope it's a good one for you, full of sweet! moments!

 "Jesus Christ is risen today...alleluja!

Aging with grace. What does that mean, anyway?

I stepped into the classroom of second graders and made my way to the teacher's desk. "Are you someone's grandmother?" one little munchkin asked. 

"No, I'm the substitute teacher," I said with forced smile, trying to recover from such a fierce Reality Check that early in the morning, and making myself promise not to hold a grudge against that little...um, cutie pie.

I turn 54 in less than two weeks...indeed, quite old enough to be someone's grandmother. If you're 55 or older, you're probably calling me a baby. But if you're 40 or younger, I'm sure 54 sounds as old to you as it looked to that second-grader. I remember when it sounded old to me, too.

But I don't feel old. In so many ways I feel the same as I did at 5 and 10 and 18, and in those moments when I said "I do" and held each of my babies for the very first time.

When I was facing 50, time took on new meaning. The hour glass was more empty than full, and not only had I wasted a lot of it, but I could see what was left slipping away, seemingly faster and faster.

It made me think about aging. What it meant to me. How I wanted it to look on me.

I decided I wanted to be able to enjoy whatever time I had left. I knew the road ahead was full of physical potholes, so I focused on getting healthy, from the inside out. I felt guilty for taking my body for granted for so many years and vowed to treat it right from then on. 

I became my own best friend, accepting the good and bad, my weaknesses and strengths, likes and dislikes. I developed high expectations for myself, but also cut myself some slack. I focused on finding balance, although it's still a struggle. Work. Play. Time alone. Time with friends and family. Giving. Taking.

I refused to give into the stereotypes, the standard expectations of what it means to be an older woman, of what's considered "proper". I decided to shake things up in my life, to stretch and appreciate all aspects of myself, to discover and expand the talents God gave me.

In the process I discovered a sense of freedom and excitement and joy that I'd never known. 

So as I head into another year, I'll just continue being me, who wears jeans, loves to dance, and wants to keep learning till the day she dies. 

Because aging with grace just means living with grace, whether you're celebrating your first birthday or your 100th.

I wish I'd started sooner.

This is my contribution to GenerationFabulous's latest blog hop on what aging gracefully means to us. Go HERE to see the other contributions.

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Happy St. Patrick's Day!

 

My coffee pot is wounded. I discovered a pool of black coffee seeping out from under it this week and panicked, thinking it was actually dead. I do have some of those individual coffee bags, but they just aren't the same as fresh brewed coffee.

But I tightened some tiny screws on a flange, and made a pot, keeping an eye on it. No obvious leaks. Just seepage. So if I immediately put the whole pot in a carafe, I'm okay. For now.

Then...I missed a chance to go dancing Friday night because I didn't pay attention to my calendar. And my middle son came home this weekend, but I didn't get to spend much time with him because I had to work. 

Also, I've missed two critique group meetings now because even though I've gotten up early and worked on my book a few times, I'm tearing it apart at the seams, then putting it back together, not really moving it forward. I have nothing to submit to the group for critique. Plus I haven't had time to critique anyone else's work because I've been working so much...

...which, of course, is a blessing. 

Here are a few other sweet! moments I noticed this past week, despite the bumps in the road...

Monday: wintery mornings that turn into spring days; brunch with a friend from your old neighborhood; bringing your youngest home for a few days over spring break; a check waiting in the mailbox

Tuesday: managing to wake up well before the sun to work on your book; making it through a crazy busy on-your-feet-running-for-hours kind of day at work without making any customers angry; collapsing in front of the television after work with your baby girl, even if it's to watch three episodes of Toddlers & Tiaras

Wednesday: spotting a pair of Mallard ducks on your morning walk; a vineyard in early spring; a crescent moon smiling at you on a night drive home

Thursday: sleeping in; a slow, lazy day; a text from your daughter letting your old puppy take the lead on a morning walk; reflective walks

Friday: making friends with other women in the shoe department when you shop for shoes for your son's wedding; making a little progress on your to-do list; the song of mourning doves

Saturday: your son coming to visit and making you a deluxe chicken and veggie quesadilla for lunch; working with a great team; chocolate torte; the night wind whipping down your porch and playing with your hair

Sunday: kneeling between your husband and son at Mass; remembering to wear your green shamrock beads to work on St. Patrick's Day; a grumpy customer becoming a happy customer; celebrating St. Patrick's Day with good conversation, corned beef, cabbage, potatoes, carrots, Irish soda bread, and Irish beer, thanks to good friends; your baby girl making it home safe and sound from the coast

 

In honor of St. Patrick's Day, here's a little Irish blessing for you...

May God give you...

For every storm, a rainbow,
For every tear, a smile,
For every care, a promise,
And a blessing in each trial.
For every problem life sends,
A faithful friend to share,
For every sigh, a sweet song,
And an answer for each prayer.

 

(my favorite kind of rainbow!)

Sweet March

 

I blinked and February was gone, just like January. Now March seems hell bent on keeping up the same grueling pace, but at least the scenery flashing by is prettier, dotted with the colors of Spring.  

Redbuds are still sporting their pink bling, bunches of yellow and white wildflowers are popping up everywhere, and bees are racing butterflies from bloom to bloom, too excited at the abundance to light for long anywhere.

Last night my friend Leslie had a few of us over for hamburgers and face-time. The weeks fly by too quickly in between our get-togethers. It was another friend's birthday, so we sent her a photo-wish, via Facebook.

Now I'll send it via Long Hollow, as well. I'm so grateful for all of these long-time friends and the technology that helps keep us connected!

 

Here are a few more March sweet!s from the past week:

 

Sunday: late Masses, so you can sleep in; toll roads when you're running late to a meeting; Mr. Bean, drums, a funny video containing both, and the friend who sent you the link 

Monday: taking a day off; your puppy getting a good report at his annual checkup; winning giveaways hosted by talented, creative blog friends, and finding the gift in your mailbox

Tuesday: watching high school theater students rehearse Snow White; spotting a turtle swimming with your puppy; a beautiful bouquet of flowers waiting for you at home, a gift from your future daughter-in-law; redbuds and prairie verbena blooming in your hollow

Wednesday: watching high school theater students rehearsing The Jungle Book and a King Arthur parody; fluffy sparrows and blue birds posing for you

Thursday: watching an old movie you love and a new one that makes your heart swell; conquering your after-work lethargy by running and writing when you get home; a walk with your puppies in the late afternoon sun; discovering natural stone sculptures near your little pond, put in place by your husband

Friday: the alarm clock snooze button ; the smell of spring on a misty morning; fish-fries at your church; Stations of the Cross; books you find it hard to put down

Saturday: sleeping in; a day for playing catch-up; dinner with dear friends; Siamese cats; skies lit up with lightning and rain on your windshield

Sunday: a blue sky washed clean of clouds; Quiche Lorraine and visiting with friends after church; a long walk with your puppies; yellow flowers

 

I hope March is giving you plenty of sweet! moments, too. Share them here! Now I'm off to try to convince workaholic Tom to play ping-pong with me on this glorious Sunday afternoon...

A Little Sister, a Shower, and a Salt Lick

I taught her how to drive a stick-shift - she caught on fast, much faster than my kids years later - and when her brother broke up with me, she wrote me poems to soothe my broken heart. She was barely a teenager back then, two years younger than me, and so in our split-high-school district, we never even attended the same school, so our lives went separate ways.

But score another one for Facebook! We recently reconnected. So when she came to Austin to visit her daughter this weekend, we made plans to meet up again for the first time in decades.

In a cool little restaurant within walking distance of her daughter's apartment (Fabi and Rosi) we sped through the years over wine and yummy food. The hours went way too fast. 

It meant missing a writing contest deadline and getting up at 5 a.m. yesterday morning to get my part of my future daughter-in-law's bridal shower ready, but it was totally worth it. Those are the moments that make life sweet!, and you have to grab them while you can.

Here are a few more sweet! moments from the past week...

 

 

Monday: writing before work; realizing you can still work geometry problems; a roaring wind on a sunny day; getting hooked by a good book

Tuesday: soft birdsong on your morning walk; a friend calling you with a job tip; your son's wedding invitation waiting for you in the mail; playing your drums after work

Wednesday: a puppy waiting patiently and hopefully outside the door for you to step outside and cuddle with her; devoting time to your book two days in a row; a long overdue hair cut and re-blonding; quick hugs from your daughter; remembering to pay some bills before they're late

 

 

Thursday: friends who make adorable favors for your future daughter-in-law's bridal shower; clearance racks; your husband still awake to help carry groceries into the house and help put them away at 10:30 pm

Friday: time to run before work; a refresher course in World Geography; starting the second book in the Hunger Games series, while getting paid; catching-up decades over dinner with an old boyfriend's little sister; experiencing another eclectic Austin restaurant

 

 

Saturday: a bridal shower for your future daughter-in-law; a Saturday night at the Salt Lick with your kids and great friends

 

 

Sunday: sleeping in and going to late Mass; the stories on CBS Sunday Morning

 

I don't watch much television, but CBS Sunday Morning is one show I try not to miss. This morning they featured the story of El Paso student Mitchell Marcus. Perhaps you've already heard it, but if you haven't, do yourself a favor and watch this video till the end. 

I hope you have a week filled with sweet! moments...and may we all be like this high school student and make life sweet! for someone else.

Five Things on Friday

 

 

1. Our property is dotted with small iron crosses, marking the resting places of so many precious furry or feathered or scaly loved ones we've been blessed to know. I miss them all. The one above is Charly's and Frankie's.

 

2. I will never get rich monetarily through my blog, but the friendships I've formed because of it are priceless. I've met so many supportive, encouraging, talented friends, and two of them have recently published books. I didn't hesitate to buy them because they are both wonderful, evocative writers, and I feel confident touting them here even though I haven't had time to read either one.  

Love Always Wags Its Tail, by Kathy H. Porter, is a collection of short essays about the dogs in her life. Wolf Pascoe shares what it's like being an anesthesiologist in Breathing for Two.

Follow the links to their blogs and you'll find information about the books. (I received no monetary compensation for these shout-outs - only friendship and support for my own writing.)

 

3. The next time you go out to eat and the place is packed and you start to get irritated because you feel your waiter is ignoring you, please take a deep breath, realize you are not the only customer in the place and that he/she can only do so much at one time, and please, please, please remember your manners. Thank you.

(Oh. And if the website suggests reservations, either make a reservation or don't get upset if you can't be seated. Especially if you're bringing 7 of your friends.) 

 

4. Back at the beginning of January, I decided I would start getting up at 4:30 a.m. instead of 5:30 a.m. so I would have time to work out and/or write before heading to work, if someone happened to call me out. (That's the life of a substitute teacher - you have to be flexible!)

Well, I finally did it. Once. This week. Yay, me!

 

5. For the past week or so, I've spent hours tormenting myself, listening to one You Tube video after another of potential songs for the mother/son dance at the upcoming wedding.

I just sat here at my computer and cried and cried. It was beautiful agony, I tell you, reliving those mom memories. But here's one that made me laugh, even though I wouldn't do this myself..

(Actually, that theme from the Ninja Turtles brings back so many memories, I almost started crying in this one, too!)

 

Nancy at A Rural Journal inspired me to start my Five Things on Friday, although I mutilated her better-alliterated version, 5 Facts Friday, so I encourage you to read hers and add your own if you're so inclined! And I remembered Mrs. 4444 has a regular Friday Fragments hop, so I'll be linking up there, too. It's a great way to tie up all those loose ends from the week!

Hope you have a great weekend!

Five Things (A Day Late)

 

I intended to post this last night. You know, "Five Things on Friday" - that catchy alliteration thing.

Instead, I went dancing. 

So here are my "Five Things on Friday, on Saturday":

 

1. Did you watch the Grammies? I did this year for the first time in ages. So I was even more jealous that my kids got to see the grammy-winning band "Fun." in Austin two nights later! (Is it okay to be jealous of your kids?)

2. I was raised Baptist, but converted to Catholicism more than 15 years ago after about 15 years of contemplation about it. Pope Benedict XVI's decision to resign earlier this week came as a huge surprise. However, I respect him for stepping down if he feels he isn't physically able to do the job anymore.  It's unusual, as far as tradition goes, but I'm not worried about the Church and don't anticipate huge changes.

3. I received another "sorry, you aren't our choice for this job" email.  It was for an administrative assistant position that didn't pay much. I replied with my thanks for letting me know, and asked if they could tell me why I wasn't chosen, in case it was something I could change and increase my odds with the next application. I was told the "chosen one" has a bachelor's degree and more years of clerical, accounts payable, and customer service experience... which tells me they must be at least as old as I am, but they're still scrambling to find a job and are forced to resort to low-paying positions, despite years of experience and a bachelor's degree.  Which means I'm screwed in the job department, if that's my competition. (No, I'm not giving up. Just whining.)

4. THE WEDDING is coming up fast! I need to find a good mother-son song for the reception. Any suggestions?

5. I came across a fortune cookie fortune in my purse. I have no idea where it came from, but I love what it says: "In the providence of the mind, what one believes to be true either is true or becomes true." Do you agree or disagree?

I hope you've had a wonderful Saturday!  

 

 

Five Mexican Jays, keeping an eye on the Hollow

 

P.S. Typepad seems to be acting up again. Please send me an email and let me know if you have trouble leaving comments or viewing this post in any way. barbarashallue (at) yahoo (dot) com

Thank you!

 

What is (Real) Love?

Love talked about can be easily turned aside, but love demonstrated is irresistible.~

W. Stanley Mooneyham
American minister and speaker, 20th century

 

I was bemoaning the fact that, despite hundreds of miles run, lunges lunged and squats thrusted, and losing enough weight that I could buy my bras in "training" sizes, I still have my grandmother's saddle-bag thighs.

"But you don't have any cellulite anymore," Tom told me.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Really."

The next day I looked for myself. Sigh. Just as dimpled as ever. I knew Tom hadn't been lying or merely trying to make me feel better; he just can't see worth crap anymore. 

But he also just doesn't care. He doesn't care that my hair is thinning. Heck, he wouldn't care if I went bald. He has never been able to tell when I'm wearing makeup or not (I've tested him)...so I'm sure my deepening wrinkles go unnoticed. He pays attention to me, he sees me...but it's the me on the inside...the me that he met and fell in love with despite himself almost 31 years ago. He looks past the "me" on the outside just as I look past the 55-year-old "him" on the outside and see the "him" who asked me for a dance at Diamondback so many years ago.

That's love.

With my son's wedding on the horizon, I've been thinking about married love and what makes it last - or not. Here are a few more...

...Love is the sound of drums coming from my house...fulfilling a wish I had tossed aside, believing it couldn't come true because there wasn't a spot for them in our new house. Tom surprised me with a set (thank you, Craig's List) on our anniversary a few years ago. It proved to me he pays attention. At least sometimes.

(Love is throwing him not one, but two surprise birthday parties...plus a huge family reunion/50th birthday party that lasted two weeks and involved having people sleeping on every square inch of the house, including on a mattress in the downstairs shower stall. Poor Kirby)

...Love is coming in the house from a long weekend, relieved to discover your coffee grounds from four days before have (thank the Lord!) been dumped and all the pieces are clean and dry, ready to go...despite the fact that your spouse doesn't drink coffee. (If he hadn't cleaned it for me...ooh, gross!)

(Love is picking up empty Dr. Pepper cans from all over the house...and outside...and biting my tongue. Pretty much.)

...Love is finding the coupon section of the Sunday newspaper separated for me, without asking.

(Love is gathering up the Sunday newspaper, at times from different rooms in the house, and putting it in the wicker basket where it goes.)

...Love is not minding that I plant myself in front of the computer every evening after dinner to write...and biting his tongue when he sees I'm on Facebook instead.

(Love is not minding that some nights he just crawls in bed and flips channels, instead of working on whatever project is in progress at the time, because he's physically and mentally worn out. He leaves the house at 5:30 am, for goodness sake!)

...Love is not being jealous about phone calls from old boyfriends, or emails from old boyfriends, or birthday lunches with old boyfriends.

(Love is not being jealous about his women friends and co-workers...even when he pinches Lisa's rear-end.)

...Love is always dancing the Cotton-Eyed Joe and the Schottische even though his hips and ankles still hurt from that accident in 1998.

(Love is sitting by his side in the hospital for a week, afraid to leave him...holding the urinal in place for an hour because he thinks he can go on his own...feeding him ice chips, sleeping on a fold-out chair, grateful for the sound of his snoring because it means he's alive.)

...Love is piecing together sections of workshop floor matting for me to lie on when I do sit-ups, so my tailbone doesn't get bruised anymore.

(Love is subscribing to Men's World e-newsletters and forwarding the good ones to him to keep him healthy.)

...Love is not nagging each other because the bathroom he/she is in charge of cleaning is a borderline health problem.

...Love is hanging on to and supporting each other through the illness and death of a parent, financial worries, and the never-ending ups and downs of having children.

...Love is saying to hell with everything that needs to be done around here to play ping-pong...or go for long walks along the creek...or travel virtually to Ireland or Istanbul or Italy with Rick Steves...

...Love is still joking around, still having fun, still laughing at each other and at ourselves after almost 32 years...and hoping we have at least another 32 together.

The proof of love is in the works. Where love exists, it works great things. But when it ceases to act, it ceases to exist.

~Pope St. Gregory the Great

 

 

What do you think "Love is..."?

Share with me! 

 
(If your comment doesn't show up right away, don't worry. Typepad's new anti-spam system is dumping them all into my spam folder. But I'll find them. Thank you!) 

 

This is re-post from 2010 that I spiffied up in honor of Valentine's Day and the 1st Annual Valentine's Day Boost-My-Blog Party hosted by a Rural Journal and Two Bears Farm. Follow the links to check out other participants.

Surprise! and other sweet!s

 

I can't believe it.

I surprised my friend Darla with a Diva gathering in her honor at my house this past weekend. Ten women who graduated from high school with us piled into my house for a slumber party, one even driving from Louisiana to be here. Many more who couldn't attend still donated money for a Williams-Sonoma gift card.

It feels good to pay her back, even if it was just a drop in the bucket;  she has been a huge cheerleader for my writing and photography for years and has given me so many sweet birthday surprises I can't even count them anymore.

Her husband was in on it, of course, along with about 50 high school girlfriends who have been private-messaging about it for months. Considering that, it is truly amazing she didn't catch on, isn't it? (If she did, she needs to consider a career move to the stage!)

There were tons of tiny sweet!s while they were here, but I'm not going to share them all because...

 

 

 

Hehehe.

That little plate was a hostess gift from of those dear friends, along with the Diva wine coozie above and this cork holder below. Sweet!

 

And now for more sweet!s of the past week...

 

Tuesday: rain tap-dancing on my umbrella; finally completely cleaning out and organizing your old roll top desk after thinking about it for five years; finishing up an editing job for a recent photo shoot; the gratitude of outside puppies who are allowed inside on a stormy day; hanging out at home all day with your baby girl

Wednesday: a second day of rain during a long drought; working in a high school library with a view of the mist-covered hills; watching new episodes of Modern Family with your daughter

 

Thursday: a second day in the high school library but with a view of sunny skies; student dioramas of The Hobbit; plotting a surprise party for a dear friend

Friday: a day of errands with your daughter, even if it's just getting her flu shot, stopping at Chick-Fil-A, and grocery shopping; your daughter's help getting your house ready for guests

Saturday: your baby girl's smile lingering in your heart after you drop her back off at college; laughing in the kitchen with forever friends; pulling off a surprise birthday party for a dear friend; hostess gifts; pineapple martinis and mini-Monte Cristo sandwiches; a husband who will drop what he's doing to take a photo of you and your girlfriends; slumber parties, at any age

 

Sunday: hanging out in your pajamas for hours, yakking with girlfriends; chilling on a rock with your dogs and camera in the middle of the woods on a crisp winter day; writing groups; not getting upset when the edits to your blog post disappear, meaning you'll have to start all over

Monday: a glimpse of the Great Blue Heron just after dawn; working with special needs kids all day; a call from your sister and text from a friend; the fire in the wood-burning stove starting easily 

 

Despite the sweet! moments of my past week, there were some tough ones, too. Our community lost two awesome people in unrelated incidents. I considered both of them friends, but so did almost everyone else around here. I'm really, really going to miss their faces and still have a hard time believing they have passed from this world.

Rest in peace, Mary and Frank.

 

Good China, Grown-up Kids, and other sweet!s

 

I fell in love with this china and crystal soon after I fell in love with Tom, back in the days when brides-to-be always registered for beautiful table settings that would probably spend more time in a china cabinet than gracing a table. 

Even though I can count on one hand the number of times I've actually used it, I don't regret asking for it. It makes me smile, just looking at those delicate roses.

And the crystal, with that tinge of pink...sigh. I was never a "pink" kind of girl, until I saw that crystal.

 

Yesterday, I freed the set from the china cabinet in honor of our Christmas-on-Epiphany dinner with the kids. They're grown now, after all, so there's a little less chance of breakage. But why the heck do I have that beautiful china if I'm not going to use it? Breakage be damned! (Besides, they can pay to replace it now!)

I kept the meal simple and relatively healthy, just a ham, a green salad, and a roasted asparagus dish.

I've never made roasted asparagus in my life and just kind of threw it together which is not something I usually do (with any success) but this was a total hit and I'm going to brag while I can!

Oh, so yummy.

And I say the meal was only "relatively" healthy because I spent Saturday baking cookies. Which triggered small stone #5:

 Fingers sticky from rolling dough sprinkled with sugar; the smell of peanut butter and chocolate wafting from the oven; mouth savoring yet another warm cookie. It's still Christmas time. 

 

 

It was a day full of sweet! moments, that's for sure. Here are a few more from the past week...

 

Sunday: Mass with your daughter; a successful Craig's List sale; your niece and nephew stepping up to help your parents when you can't be there; prayers, calls, and texts from your friends when your dad has another stroke 

Monday: calls from friends; catching a performance of Vanilla Ice on TV; skipping in the rain; only suffering a few bruises when your exuberant 60 pound puppy knocks you down on your rocky road; cell phones for staying in touch when your dad's in the hospital 250 miles away; dancing on New Year's Eve, even if it's in your livingroom while watching Ryan Secrest's countdown with your daughter 

Tuesday: stepping into a new year; a productive day, despite sleeping late; black-eyed peas; parents who stick together, forgive each other, and keep laughing no matter what life throws at them; sunshine breaking through gray clouds

Wednesday: playful puppies; hearing from a long-lost blogger friend with assurances that she's okay; a fire in your woodburning stove on a cold day

Thursday: another Craig's List sale; your dad making it through surgery just fine; homemade chicken noodle soup on a cold night; finishing a project you've been working on for months

Friday: husbands who keep the woodpile full and get a fire going before leaving for work; the rain stopping just in time for your walk, especially since you didn't get the snow you hoped for; potential jobs you think you'll enjoy; your dad getting released from the hospital; homemade chili on a cold, rainy night; loud rain after months of drought

 

 

Saturday: your mother-in-law's voice on the other end of the phone line; your mom's voice on the other end of the phone line; friends who share their photography lights with you; making cookies for your family; wrapping Christmas gifts; capturing the moments of a sweet 16 party for someone who you swear was just a baby yesterday; your daughter working as your photography assistant; laughing at SNL for the first time in years

Sunday: sipping coffee on the back deck on a brisk winter morning; the unity that comes from joined prayer; laughing in the church parking lot with longtime friends; celebrating Epiphany and Christmas with your kids and husband; using your good china and crystal; a culinary experiment that is a big hit; playing Santa; watching funny videos with your kids;

Monday: pink mornings; having 2/3 of your kids home together three days in a row (even though one is sick); another Craig's List sale; enough leftovers that you don't have to cook dinner; time to edit photos from your last shoot

 

I hope 2013 is off to a good start for you, full of sweet! moments every day! (And if it's not, open your eyes and your heart a teensy bit wider and I bet you'll discover some shy little sweets just lying there, waiting to be noticed.)

 

Epiphany

Today is Epiphany. Since we couldn't all be together on Christmas, I stole an idea from my friend Jim "Suldog" Sullivan, who waits until Epiphany to exchange gifts with his wife: I gathered my kids and husband together for a special meal and gift exchange. We used the good china and everything! More on that later. I'm headed downstairs now to watch a movie, but wanted to share this post from 2010, because they were words I needed to hear today, and thought you might, too. I love it when my past self encourages my present self.

I'll post my sweets and stones tomorrow.

I hope you've all had a wonderful weekend!

 

Knotted muscle in my neck...can't quite catch my breath...geez, it's only Jan. 4 and I'm already stressing about how to get everything accomplished that I want to do this year! I wish I could resolve to have an extra 6 hours each day - that would help!

But, of course, I can't. None of us can. We just have to stumble along and do the best we can and try not to worry about the minutes we drop along the way. Just keep facing forward, or, as this Japanese proverb reminds us...

 "If you look up, there are no limits."

For me, this means that God will give me the time, strength and whatever other resources I need (money, patience, determination, health...) to do what he needs me to do. And nothing else really matters.

That's so much easier to say than to accept, though.

This morning I rose at 5am...the first time in more than a week I've been up before the sun. Even though I hate that first jolt of the alarm clock and long to jump back under the covers just a little while longer, I love getting so much done before the sun rises. I love walking the critters under a fresh morning sky, watching the world wake up. I feel invigorated...hopeful...ready to embrace the day. I wish morning could last all day!

It helped that we celebrated the Epiphany at Mass yesterday - the visit of the Magi to the baby Jesus. The theme...the key word to remember...the word and image I took away from the service was LIGHT.

Light as in guidance...the star that led them to Jesus; light as in understanding...they recognized Jesus was a king, the son of God; light as in revelation...they revealed to us that Jesus came for all people, all nations, all races.

So each day I will focus on that light. His light. I'll imagine it as the fresh morning light, stretching over the world as the sun rises. I'll pray that it shines outward, leading me along the right path and helping me have greater understanding and compassion...I'll pray that it shines inward upon myself, revealing my faults...those areas that I most need to work on. I'll pray that I have his light within me and that others can see it. And then I'll take a deep breath and try not to worry about anything more.

A massage sure sounds nice right now, though...

"If you look up, there are no limits."

 

P.S. from 2012: Would you believe my son gave me a gift certificate for a massage for Christmas? Sigh. Perfect!

Assorted, one by one

TG and I shared a bag of assorted Toblerone chocolates this afternoon. Have you ever had one? They just melt in your mouth. Of course, it had been a long time since lunch, and that just made them taste even better. As much as I love dark chocolate, my favorite flavor was white chocolate, but they were all sinfully yummy.

And that's the way the past week has been. When I look back on my list of sweet! moments, it's hard to believe this has just been one week. Even though I haven't much time for writing or photography, it has been a week of wonderful assorted sweet!s...

 

Saturday: a long walk with boys and dogs; an arrowhead waiting on the road for thousands of years for your son to find; watching Mr. Magoo's A Christmas Carol with your kids; cyclops cookies, made by your kids; sharing a box of Lammes' Longhorns; a Christmas tree, dripping in lights and memories

 

 

Sunday: Mass with your family; a delicious turkey wrap for lunch, made for you by by your oldest; another boy-and-dog walk, and another arrowhead; Christmas cards, ready to mail; a movie with your son

 

 

Monday: no traffic on a road trip to Houston with your kids; a trip to the grocery store with your dad; red-winged black birds at your dad's bird feeder;  Christmas Eve Mass in the church where your kids were baptized, and recognizing the deacon who baptized 2/3 of them; fresh homemade tamales and good neighbors

Tuesday: the miracle of Christmas; your son helping your wrestle the turkey into the oven; the priceless stress of too many bodies in a small kitchen, trying to get Christmas dinner on the table; watching Little Miss Sunshine and Horton Hears a Who with your kids and parents; the next generation contributing to holiday meals; a call from your brother-in-law and his kids; hearing your husband's voice when you have to be separated on Christmas Day

 

 

Wednesday: electric blankets on cold mornings; road trips with your kids; flaming sunsets and kids who will snap photos for you while you drive; a table full of Christmas gifts from a friend who goes overboard at Christmas; Christmas cards and paychecks in the mailbox

Thursday: making a big dent in sorting, reorganizing, and cleaning your house; nibbles on things you posted on Craig's List; running for the first time in days; the aroma of a roast in the oven

Friday: time to answer emails and catch up on a few friends' blog posts; a clean bathroom(!); gathering with friends and future in-laws

 

Saturday: seeing the Great Blue Heron perched on a tree near your house for the 7th day in a row; a day of errands and shopping with your daughter and son; winter in Austin, where you can stay warm enough with just a long sleeve shirt and a hoodie jacket; sharing assorted Toblerone chocolates with your daughter

 

Love the moment, and the energy of that moment will spread beyond all boundaries.

Sr. Corita Kent

 

How is your Christmas going?

TG sits near me watching Rush Hour 2. I've been listening while editing photos from the past week, laughing because I've watched it with her often enough to see the scenes in my mind.

The Christmas tree sparkles between us. I won't take it down for a couple of weeks. That's when the Christmas season ends, according to the Catholic faith, and I'm glad I have that excuse since I procrastinated decorating for so long. I'm not tired of it yet.

I spent the day tackling other to-do's. Making phone calls to my parents' doctors, putting together a futon a friend gave us weeks ago, moving my drums downstairs so Tom doesn't trip on them in our bedroom anymore, working my way through piles of laundry, vacuuming, keeping a fire going in the wood-burning stove, photographing stuff we don't need and posting in on Craig's List, cooking dinner and feeding dogs. 

Once I felt I'd made a dent, I ran on the treadmill for the first time in, gosh, I can't even remember how long it's been, then I showered and called it a day. I poured a glass of wine and headed here to the computer, where (yay!) I already have a nibble on one of the items I posted.

I spent Christmas at my parents' with my kids, but without Tom who had to stay home and work on cars and be on call for his job. I don't like these years where I feel pulled in different directions. 

 I'm so grateful to our friends Mary Kay and Joe who made sure he had a more-than-decent Christmas dinner and sent him home laden down with gifts.

(Mary Kay goes crazy at Christmas. She can remember what every single one of her friends likes and/or collects, and when she shops, she keeps us all in mind. There's no way to stay even with her! I've learned to just be grateful...but I keep an eye out for ways to give back!)

In the past, this holiday celebration focused on the kids...first me and my siblings, then the grandbabies. This year we just brought gifts for Mama (pajamas) and Daddy (new jeans because he's getting so skinny his old pants don't fit!) They protested but I loved turning the tables on them like that. It's a good kind of pay-back, don't you think?

On Christmas Eve the kids and I went to Mass at the church where they were baptized. Afterwards, Tommy and I visited Hector and Estella next door and they sent us back to Mama's with a plate full of homemade tamales. It didn't stay full long!

 

The next day I rose early to get the turkey in the oven, then let the day amble wherever it wanted to go until the final scramble to get everything on the table at the same time. We watched movies as well as the black birds who visited the bird bath despite the gray cats dozing on the deck nearby.

The wind howled, and we lost power once, but we were grateful not to get any of the heavy rain or snow or tornadoes or long power outages that other parts of the country were getting.

 

 

My grandpuppy Josie found a favorite spot near the little Christmas tree Tommy brought with him. We set it up near the front window, where all the trees of the past stood, including that dang aluminum one, and the real one that sent me to the emergency room on Christmas Day night when I was ten.

Ah, Christmas memories...

We kept it a relatively healthy feast this year, with roasted vegetables and fresh green beans, thanks to my son and sister, instead of mashed potatoes and green bean casserole. I burned the bottoms of the rolls, but everyone forgave me and ate them anyway. For dessert we had monkey bread, courtesy of my niece. It was just enough.

All of it was just enough. I am blessed.

I hope you had - are having - a wonderful Christmas, too!

 

 

A Feliz Navidad to Remember

When my kids were young, I liked spending Christmas at home. I liked Santa coming down my chimney and leaving gifts under my tree. I liked my children having memories of waking up surrounded by Christmas magic in their own beds.

But one year we made an exception. My husband's youngest brother (he has eight) was getting married in Huatabampo, Sonora, Mexico on December 23. We couldn't resist - how could we NOT go? It would be such a great cultural experience for our kids to travel through Mexico...to experience a Mexican wedding!

It took quite a bit of preparation...and that's when I remembered the other reason why we never traveled on Christmas. I am one of those procrastinators who waits until the week before Christmas to do my shopping, and my cards arrive closer to New Year's Day than Christmas Day.

But this time I had to have everything ready way in advance, and I came through with flying colors, down to every detail. We borrowed a large cooler for food; I bought books about traveling in Northern Mexico and a laminated, easy-to-fold map. We even let Santa know we'd be traveling, but gave him permission to come on inside the house and leave most of his presents under the tree (wink, wink!) because we wouldn't have room in the van for anything extra on the return trip.

Tom's parents traveled from Florida to our house. We would minivan-caravan to the wedding. The night before our departure, we spread a map on the dining room table and plotted our route: - west on I-10 to Arizona and then turn left. From there it was a straight shot south to Huatabampo. Easy! 

But sometime between "Easy!" and the next morning, Tom and his dad had changed the route, to my and my mother-in-law's grumbling dismay.

"It'll take hours off our trip!" Tom claimed, pointing to a narrow line on the map that twisted and turned across the middle of the Sierra Madre Mountains. The Sierra Madre Mountains!

"Are you sure that's even a road? Look how thin that line is!" But our protests fell on deaf ears.

I could have said "I told you so" two nights later when we were crawling at 20 miles per hour through the mountains along that thin line, but I was too busy praying and watching out for potholes...

"Hail Mary, full of grace...POTHOLE!...the Lord is with thee...POTHOLE!...", translating the many "Curvo Peligroso!" (Dangerous Curve!) signs, and vowing to never take another trip with this man again. (I found out later my mother-in-law was making an identical vow.)

I was grateful for the pitch darkness of night in those mountains - I suspected there were sheer drop-offs on the edge of the road, but I preferred not knowing.

When the sun rose, it revealed a valley spreading out before us dotted with Saguaro cactus - we had made it through the mountains alive! Soon we entered civilization - Ciudad Obregon - and almost wept at the sight of a gleaming, modern Holiday Inn. We straggled in to the breakfast buffet like a group of parched, ravenous wanderers discovering an oasis.

Fortified with bacon, eggs, and hot coffee, we continued on our way, back on our original route -  a highway that took us straight to Huatabampo. Our hotel was in the center of town, overlooking a busy street.

The next few days were as wonderful as we had expected...we met Tom's brother John's fiance, Yadira, and her family. None of them spoke English, so I finally put my high school Spanish to good use!

We took a side trip to Huatabampito on the west coast of Mexico...on the Sea of Cortez, I believe...where we collected armfuls of delicate spiral shells. 

The wedding itself was beautiful, even though because of the communication thing and John's pre-wedding jitters we didn't realize dinner wouldn't be served until late in the evening. We would have starved but the reception hall staff had pity on us and brought us mounds of saltine crackers.

 

The next day we traveled back into the mountains to Los Alamos, a colonial Mexico town, all decked out for the holidays. We toured the cathedral, explored some shops and enjoyed our Christmas Eve dinner at a restaurant there before heading back into Huatabampo for Christmas Eve Mass.

 
 Christmas morning we arose before dawn to head home to the states, and what do you know? Santa had actually dropped a gift off for each of the kids!

It had been a memorable trip - it meant a lot to John to have some of his family at the wedding and it was a wonderful experience for my kids to really experience another culture. But I admit...it still felt great to cross back over the border into the United States...one of my favorite Christmas presents ever.

 

What about you? Do you usually travel or stay home? Do you have a good Christmas/holiday story or misadventure to share? I'm all ears! 

You'll Find Me Out on the Limb

I spent too many years day-dreaming near the tree's trunk, playing it safe, following guidelines I formed for myself (from who knows where) on how I should act, what I should do, who I should be.

Then Fifty drew near, in all her daring glory, taunting me, teasing me, luring me out onto the limb because, after all, that's where the fruit is, and to reach it you have to take risks.

Not the foolhardy, life threatening kinds, but ones involving your heart, your pride. You have to risk embarrassment and failure. You have to not care.

I stepped gingerly at first, but soon forgot my fear because of the amazing view, the possibilities that opened wide around me. I didn't worry about a safety net, but determined to fly higher, rather than fall. 

Out on the limb I feel the breeze, reminding me to breathe. Out on the limb I learn to balance between my dreams and my responsibilities.

Out on the limb I remember to dance.

This is my contribution to Kelly Letky's Celebration of Life link-up, in honor of her 50th birthday. Read more on her post at Mrs. Mediocrity.

Happy birthday, Kelly!

 

Small Things

I made it to my writing group tonight for the first time in weeks. At least, I think it's been weeks since I've attended. Time has been playing tricks on me lately.

At any rate, I made it there tonight. My compadres critiqued the handful of pages I submitted and I critiqued theirs and we talked about books and I felt like a writer. It was wonderful.

It wasn't until after the meeting that I saw the texts from my sister letting me know my nephew had to go help Daddy get Mama off the floor. She hadn't technically fallen, thank goodness. When she knew she was losing her balance, she leaned against the wall and slid down, with Daddy holding her.

A controlled fall, I guess you could say. 

(I'm grateful my nephew is living close to them again.)

 ************************************************

 

I really need to go dancing. Yes, I said "need".

Tom and I were invited to go with friends Friday night, but he had been working on cars all day (with no luck!) and was totally wiped out.

I had a lot of work to catch up on, myself, and would have gotten even farther behind if we'd gone. But, if only for therapeutic reasons, hitting a dance floor is rising ever higher on my priority list. 

Laughing is good therapy, too, though, and thanks to my blogging friend, Bill, of A Few Clowns Short, I got a good chuckle this week from the following video.

If you've never watched the TV show Breaking Bad, don't bother watching it. You won't get it, and you'll probably never want to watch the real thing!   

 

And now for more sweet!s of the past week, although I kind of gave some away in my last post... 

Sunday: no slow cars in front of you on the way to work; repeat customers; the sacrifice veterans make to ensure you stay free; majestic skies that make you pull off the road to stare and snap a photo; one more movie with your sweetie before heading out of town for a few days

Monday: leaving ahead of schedule on your road trip so you totally miss morning traffic; the red-orange rising sun peeking through low clouds on the horizon; your dad's surgeon giving him a good follow-up report; spinach enchiladas; laughing with your parents

 

 

Tuesday: telling your mom "Happy Birthday" first thing in the morning; making chili for your parents; the smell of a pumpkin pie in the oven; celebrating your mother's 81st birthday with family; reconnecting with a dear friend from your past

Wednesday: old red trucks; your parents' neighbor caring enough about them to call you for an update and to see how they can help; time to walk around the state capital with your camera while waiting to pick up your son from work; helping your future daughter-in-law celebrate her 25th birthday with margaritas and Mexican food; arriving home after being away (again) 

 

 

Thursday: hitting snooze and snuggling deeper under the covers on a cold morning; the moment when the first sunrays hit the Hollow; neighbors who tattle on your puppies when they are off on an adventure so you can call them home before they get into trouble; being stranded at home without a car so you have hours alone to work on your book; a surprise in the mailbox from one of your friends

Friday: a long walk with your puppies; finding writing inspiration in a fourth grade classroom; finally getting a chance to grocery shop for your house for the first time in weeks; watching an old Haley Mills movie with your sweetie 

 

 

Saturday: your puppy reminding you to go for your morning walk; a visit from your son and grandpuppy; a deluxe chicken quesadilla a la your son; a photo shoot of a beautiful family; red-haired babies; hearing good news about a friend's son

Sunday: French Toast after church, courtesy of your husband; a slow day at work when you're tired; finally making it to your writing group meeting for the first time in weeks

 

I hope, no matter how busy you are in the coming week, you remember to make note of your sweet! moments! 

Transitions

My Uncle Bobby passed away this week. Daddy's younger brother.

Like Daddy and the other men in his family, Uncle Bobby had suffered from heart and vascular problems for years, but it was a slow battle with cancer that took him away. He was a sweet man. In my heart I will always see him smiling, ready to laugh about something. 

That's him in the photo below, wearing my sister's wig, flanked by his son, Jeff, and yours truly, the Tomboy in ripped jeans. 

 

I'm grateful that I got to speak to Uncle Bobby a few times recently and assure him of my love and prayers. He called often to check on Daddy after his surgery. I'm glad they got to speak to each other, too.

Jeff stopped by my parents' house on my mom's birthday with a satchel full of old photo albums he'd found at his parents' house that had belonged to our aunt and grandmother. We opened them and stepped back into the years when we were oblivious to time.

When you're young, you can't imagine standing where your parents stand. You never dream that someday you'll be one of those pillars holding up the family, trying to help make decisions about things you had been happily oblivious to just months before.

 

 

Now time is tick, tick, ticking in my head. I feel the weight of it on my shoulders. I see, more than I ever did when I first became a mother, that circle of life, and I know that one day my kids will be taking my place as the pillars. 

But I remind myself that, if my kids are as blessed with oblivion as I have been, that time is still years away, and that I need to live each of these days, these years, to the fullest, just as my parents still do, to the best of their abilities.

I can't let the tick-ticking or the weight on my shoulders keep me from noticing blessings like cool old red trucks on display along the highway...

 

I pass Timeless Texas Classics on my way to and from Houston. Usually I travel too early or too late, and it's locked up. The old cars are tucked safely to bed up near the building.

But this past Wednesday the gate was open and these beauties were lined up close to the road. They smiled and waved at me, but I drove on by, in a hurry and too caught up in all I needed to do once I got home.

Then I realized the gift of the moment and made a U-turn. I spent several minutes walking up and down, snapping their photos, relishing that bit of suspended time.

Old cars and trucks make me smile - especially old trucks painted cherry red like the beauty above. And when you're a pillar - no, especially when you're a pillar - you need to do things that make you smile.

 

It really made me smile to hang out with a bunch of twenty-somethings that same night in honor of my soon-to-be daughter-in-law's 25th birthday. 

 

 

 

It was a little over six years ago when Tommy went to a friend's cousin's high school graduation party and fell in love. It's hard to believe Kirby was just eighteen when we first met her (and fell in love with her, too.)  

I love that all of my kids are living in Austin now, close enough to wish them happy birthdays in person.

 

Despite the challenges of the past few months, I'm still loving this season of my life.

I haven't been dancing as much as I'd like, but I can still dance. I can still walk down my dirt road and climb hills with my sweetie and puppies. I can hop in the car and meet friends for dinner... when we have time.

Time is the biggest challenge.

I haven't had time to finish my photography website or post new samples to sites where I can sell my photos or a dozen other things I need to do for my business, but this afternoon I get to photograph a beautiful family for the second year in a row. Last year the weather didn't cooperate and we had to take a few shots inside, so this year I'm going prepared with lights I borrowed from a friend, and I've been brushing up on how-to's of indoor portraits. Just in case.

I can still learn.

I'm also preparing for my writer's group meeting tomorrow evening. Thursday I was gloriously stranded at home alone for hours because Tom's car is out of commission and he needed mine to get to work so I spent them working on my children's book. Despite all that time, I barely eked out one short chapter, but I also overhauled my outline and fine tuned previous chapters, things I couldn't have done without several undistracted hours.

The next few chapters should come easier, and that's good, because I'm holding on to my goal of finishing my book by December 19, so I can submit it for critique before February's conference.

 

I hope whatever season of life you're in right now, you live it to its fullest. Let's make a pact not to waste a single moment of this sacred time we've been given... and especially the time we have with our loved ones.

 

 

Nothing in the world is permanent, and we're foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we're still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it.

~ W. Somerset Maugham

 

Lesson #81 (Thank You, and Happy Birthday, Mama!)

Today is Mama's 81st birthday. I get to spend the whole day with her, and for that I am very, very grateful.

A few years ago, in honor of her 77th birthday, I started compiling a list of things she has taught me. Each year since then, on her birthday, I've added to it. 

I wish this year the lessons weren't so plain.

The past few months haven't been easy on her. Her legs went on strike and she spends most of her time in a wheelchair now.

After being so independent and active all of her life (chin-up champion of her elementary school, softball player, bowler, pregnant roof-climber when her 5-year-old son wouldn't come down, main caregiver of her 6-foot-tall adult quadriplegic son, square- and line-dancer, playmate of her grandkids) and being the one all of us depended on, physically and mentally, I can only imagine how frustrating it has to be for her now, unable to do even the simplest things without someone's help.

But, as usual, she's got a great attitude about it. She laughs more than she complains. She expresses appreciation for the help even as I'm sure, inside, she mourns her independence. And she still focuses on others more than herself.

This year my mother is teaching me grace.

(with a few of her grandkids at Daddy's birthday party last month.)

 Happy birthday, Mama, with much love and gratitude!

 

Things Mama has taught me...

1. it's never too late to learn something new
2. if you have a choice between laughter and tears, choose laughter.
3. don't let anyone mess with your babies!
4. only give advice when asked for it (I'm still working on that one)
5. pray every day
6. pray some more
7. reading a good book might not solve your problems, but it's a nice escape from them
8. bend but never break
9. some people are just takers
10. be nice whenever possible, but sometimes nice doesn't cut it
11. take care of family
12. we're all individuals - let your kids blossom into themselves, not "mini-me's"
13. be there
14. Johnny Weismuller is the best movie Tarzan
15. don't be in a rush to be older than you are - you're only going to be this age once in your life
16. if you like something, and you'll use it, and you can afford it, then buy it, or you'll regret it later
17. quality over quantity
18. never think "can't"
19. people will stand in line for a dead skunk if it's free
20. roll with the punches
21. have fun
22. laugh often
23. believe in yourself
24. don't let others change who you are
25. be honest
26. don't steal
27. forgive yourself
28. God loves me
29. don't judge
30. just do it!
31. inside matters more than outside
32. don't use God's name in vain
33. you can learn anything if you put your mind to it
34. you're never too old to dance
35. it's okay to ask for help
36. show appreciation and express gratitude
37. use my manners
38. consider the source
39. an office or position of authority should be respected, but the individual in that position has to earn your respect
40. sleep is good
41. take advantage of opportunities
42. keep your eyes open and your wits about you
43. people aren't always nice
44. things can't make you happy
45. use your imagination
46. just get started and the rest will be easy
47. don't be intimidated by anyone - we're all the same, all human, we all have strengths and weaknesses
48. you can love someone even if you don't like them
49. forgive but don't forget
50. learn from others' mistakes
51. there are times for being patient, and time for putting your foot down
52. speak up
53. stand up for what you believe in
54. admit your mistakes and expect others to do the same
55. persistance pays off
56. let your kids be kids
57. love unconditionally
58. take lots of pictures
59. kids grow up fast
60. your kids need a mother, not another friend
61. pets are family
62. help others
63. a sense of humor is essential for sanity and survival
64. if you look close enough, you can find something to love about everyone
65. coffee is good anytime
66. messes can be cleaned up
67. prayer works
68. God is strong all the time - let him carry you
69. if you say you're going to do something, do it
70. be nice to yourself in case no one else is
71. you have to show respect to get respect
72. girls are tough
73. don't put up with temper tantrums
74. listen to your body - doctors don't know everything
75. don't say everything you're thinking
76. asking questions is the best way to learn something
77. your babies are always your babies (and their babies are your babies, too!)
78. God is. 
79. Just listen. 
80. people are more important than things
    
81. there is a time to help others, and a time to let others help you

 

Good (Halloween) Morning

I might see some trick-or-treaters this evening. I'm excited about that.

When you live a mile down a dirt road in a Hollow of few houses and no small children, Halloween is like any other night. Quiet. No one ever comes to your door. Even when my kids were actively hustling for candy, I had to drive them from house to house, or at least to another neighborhood where they could walk door-to-door.

But I'm still here at Mama and Daddy's, in my old neighborhood of side-by-side wood-shingled houses connected by sidewalks perfect for the travels of little goblins and princesses. I plan to sit near the front door with my camera handy. And, of course, a bowl of candy.

I was supposed to be heading home this morning, but, as often happens in life, things didn't work out the way we thought they would. Home healthcare wasn't in place when Daddy was discharged and I can't leave until it is.

My sister has that wheel turning now, working with the doctor's office and an agency, and fingers-crossed it'll be in place Friday so I can get home in time to work this weekend.

But flexibility is my word right now. 

Transitions are tough, and I sympathize with  Daddy's frustration over his new medicines and changes in his morning routine: Take blood pressure. If it's above this, take this pill. If it's above that, take another. Also take two others that have long multi-syllable names that sound alike and even I can't pronounce. Wait an hour. Eat. Take another handful of pills with similar names.

One day, God willing I live thirty more years, it will be me frustrated over my rebellious body and doctors and prescriptions.

I'm going through my own transition right now, missing my morning routine of a walk with the puppies. I miss working on my book, editing and posting photos to sell. I miss sweating and pushing my body through those work-outs I had come to dread.

Daddy feels great...and not-so-great. His medicine has side-effects, apparently. He has no restrictions except driving and lifting, so he's trying to do everything else he did before...wheeling Mama from room to room, getting her nebulizer medicine ready, feeding the cats, sweeping.

Except for carrying the full laundry basket and lifting the wheelchair and anything else over 10 pounds, I let him, while I focus on phone calls: the plumber, making follow-up appointments, getting his prescriptions filled, talking to pharmacists and nurses about them, and writing up a schedule to make it easier for him to keep track of it all. Today I'm going to try to organize a cabinet or counter to keep it all handy and organized.

One scary moment yesterday: The pharmacy wrote the complete opposite instructions on one of his blood pressure medicines than what I had been told by the nurse. I called the pharmacy and they said "Oops!" What if I hadn't spotted it? 'Oops' is an understatement.

No, I won't go there. I know I can't stay here indefinitely.

I can only do what I can do today, and I don't want to miss the precious moments of the here and now, which include spending time with my parents and handing out Halloween candy... and remembering a time, not so long ago, when it was my own little Power Rangers (and goblins and pirates and cowboys and snow leopards and wizards and ninjas and skeletons and devils and bunnies...) who knocked on that very door, calling "Trick or Treat" to their delighted grandparents. 

 

 Happy Halloween!!

Those of you on the east coast affected by Sandy are in my prayers!

Get Thee Away From Me, Cyclops Cookie!

The key to a successful marriage is having at least a few things in common. For Tom and me, the list includes visiting Civil War battlegrounds, watching 'Breaking Bad', hiking... and eating.

Especially desserts.

Especially Cyclops Cookies.

It's his mom's fault. And I thank her profusely.

 

 

I remember that first Christmas, before we were married, when the decorated coffee can overflowing with fudge and cookies arrived.

I remember that first bite of peanut-butter-and-chocolate heaven.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

 

 

I also remember our dismay the next Christmas, after we were Mr. and Mrs., when the can didn't arrive. She informed us only the single boys got coffee cans full of sugary goodness. Once her sons married, she was no longer responsible for satisfying their Christmas sweet tooth, and considering she had nine sons altogether, I can't say I blamed her.

(I think that was the first time Tom wondered if he'd made a mistake in marrying me.)

 

 

Mom didn't leave us totally on our own, though. We got the recipe. Then we practiced and practiced and practiced until now we have the art of Cyclops Cookies down to absolute perfection, even if I say so myself.

 

And that's a very dangerous thing.

My name is Barbara, and I am an addict. A Cyclops Cookie addict. 

And so, for the sake of our waistlines and arteries (Tom is an addict, too) I only make them for special occasions, like birthdays and Christmas... 

 

 

...most recently my son Daniel's birthday, when I discovered that if I take lots and lots of photos of them, I don't inhale the whole batch before they have a chance to cool.

Saved by my camera, once again.

Okay, okay... here's the recipe. But don't say I didn't warn you, and don't blame me if your pants suddenly get too tight. I don't remember how many this makes, but it's not enough - I always double it.

Cyclops Cookies

 

Ingredients

 ½ cup of butter or margarine

• ½ cup of peanut butter
• ½ cup of sugar
• ½ cup of brown sugar
• 1 egg
• 2 tablespoons of milk
• 1 teaspoon of vanilla
• 1 ¾ cups of flour
• ¼ teaspoon of salt
• 1/8 teaspoon of baking soda

• a bowl of extra sugar
• Hershey’s Kisses

 

1. In large mixing bowl, mix butter or margarine and peanut butter together, using an electric mixer on medium for about 30 seconds.
2. Add sugar and brown sugar and beat till fluffy.
3. Add egg milk and vanilla to mixture. Beat again till fluffy.
4. In medium mixing bowl, stir together flour, salt and baking soda.
5. With mixer on low speed, gradually put in flour mixture to peanut butter mixture, stir well. If necessary, cover and chill about 1 hour for better handling.
6. Preheat oven to 350.
7. Shape dough into 1 inch balls and roll in additional sugar.
8. Place about 2 inches apart on ungreased cookie sheet.
9. Bake in oven about 8 to 10 minutes or until edges are firm.
10. Immediately after baking, press a chocolate kiss atop each cookie. 
11. Try to resist eating it.
12. Oh, okay, go ahead and eat that first one. You deserve it.

Twenty-four years ago today...

...I met my son Daniel for the first time. Of course, it was love at first sight.

With each passing year, I fell deeper and deeper in love with that creative, funny, compassionate, wise old soul.

How could I resist? Look at that smile! And that hair!

 

 

But, dang it (and thank God!) kids grow up.

It's such a curse and a blessing. 

 

So here I am, shaking my head in wonder that it's been 24 years since I first looked into those blue eyes. I just can't wrap my head around the number, but my heart overflows with sweet memories from each and every one.

And I'm grateful to still be adding to them.

He no longer lives at home - soon after I wrote last year's birthday post  he found a job and moved out on his own again - but he comes back for a weekend here and there, just to help Tom with a project, chill on the back porch with us, listening to music, or introduce us to some great obscure movie on Netflix.

I'll even get to wish him a happy birthday today in person. He'll be here when I get home from work. I'll stick a candle in a cyclops cookie and Tom and I will sing 'happy birthday' to him...and he'll let us, because that's the kind of sweet kid, um, man, he is.

Happy 24th birthday, Daniel! 

May you have clear paths and bright skies.

And no matter what this year brings,

I hope you continue to "Be silly. Be honest. Be kind."  (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

 

Also... Happy birthday wishes to my sweet sister-in-law Kim, my young cousins Ashley, Kayce and Kayce's daughter, Tayvie, and my inspirational South African friend Pete! 

A Blessed Birthday

For two mornings in a row, sunlight has found me snuggled under the covers in my grandmother's room, waking in the warm embrace of so many memories. But for the first time that I can remember, Daddy hasn't been already up and sitting at the kitchen table, sipping coffee, newspaper spread before him. 

This morning, I tiptoed through the kitchen to the back room, unable to stay in bed any longer. But yesterday I let myself fall back asleep, tired from a late night, and not wanting to wake him and my mom up, knowing they had to be more tired than I was.

I had planned to drive in yesterday morning to celebrate Daddy's 86th birthday, which is today. But after a phone call from my sister Friday evening, letting me know Mama thought Daddy had had a stroke earlier that day and urging her to call 911 since Daddy wouldn't let Mama, I tossed some clothes in a bag and hit the road. 

By the time I pulled into Houston close to midnight, Daddy "felt fine" and, against the hospital's advice, had my niece drive them home. 

He did look normal to me. His voice has gotten weak, thanks to a paralized vocal cord from a major stroke years ago, and his walk has slowed quite a bit, but he was up and attending to my mom, who is mostly in a wheelchair these days because of weak muscles (the drug Zocor literally ate holes in her muscles after briefly using it a few years ago) and breathing problems (asthma).

The hospital said he'd had a TIA, or mini-stroke, so yesterday I kept a close watch on him. At times he seemed weak. His speech would get tangled up periodically and his headache returned for awhile. But then he'd be his old self again and I'd breathe. I stayed on him to drink lots of water and eat. (The man who used to graze all day long is now never hungry.) 

So this morning, when he finally stepped into the kitchen, his usual smile on his face, I was especially grateful for the chance to say "Happy birthday, Daddy!" and give him a big hug.

There will be cake and ice cream and singing this afternoon. But I'll be celebrating my Daddy all day.

 

Here are a few sweets from the past week...  

Monday: a day to play catch-up and dust off to-do lists; the Beach Boys singing to you while you run

Tuesday: crisp autumn mornings; progress on your book; pepperoni rolls and agave wheat beer on a restaurant patio with 2/3 of your kids and your husband on a beautiful evening in Austin; grocery shopping with your daughter

Wednesday: frisky puppies; a potential sale of one of your photos; dinner and a funny movie with friends, celebrating a birthday

Thursday: working in the school library, with a view of the rolling hills; finishing Season 4 of Breaking Bad

Friday: working a second day in the school library; helping kids find books they want; people who adopt their foster children; kids with good manners; a golden-egg-moon rising to keep you company on a long drive; prayers for your Daddy; instead of visiting your Daddy in the hospital, you get to see him walking and talking like normal at your childhood home; hugs from your Daddy

Saturday: waking in your childhood home; a home, full of family; your youngest son helping his big brother move into a new apartment; the sight of your two sons standing in the doorway after a long day of moving and hours on the road

Sunday: being able to wish your Daddy a happy 86th birthday and give him a birthday hug in person

 

What were some of the sweets from your past week? Share them here, including a link if you write about them.

Hope you all have a beautiful Sunday. I would appreciate prayers for my Daddy and Mama! 

 

Till We Meet Again, Port A!

I just returned from my annual retreat with girlfriends to the coast - our 13th or 14th now, I can't remember which - where the sight and sound of the ocean renews my soul and invigorates my spirit.

The bonding of girlfriends... the food... the kiss of the sun on my skin... the birds and people and dogs posing for my camera... the dancing... sigh. They're all part of the prescription, too. Too many sweet! moments to count!

 

“The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears, or the sea.” ~Isak Dinesen

 

 One in particular was wishing my longtime friend Patti a happy birthday in person while standing on a balcony that looks out to a blue-green horizon of sea meeting sky... now that was particularly sweet!

 

I've known her since 4th grade, so we have a long history of birthday slumber parties. Who would have thought they'd continue into our fifties? Life is so surprising and beautiful! (Click HERE to read a birthday tribute I wrote her in honor of her fiftieth birthday.)

I fully intended to publish a "Reunion, Part 2" post last week before heading off on a this road trip, but ran out of time. So I just waved goodbye to that intention, as well as its numerous brothers and sisters. There are times you just have to do that. I knew they'd wait for me.

They did, and now they're breathing down my neck. But before I give them my attention, here are a few more sweet! moments from the past week. 

 

Sunday: breakfast with classmates; a quick visit with your Mama and Daddy before heading home after a fun weekend; being able to check Facebook and email on your way home because your husband is driving; your son grilling pork chops for dinner; sorting through photos from your high school reunion

Monday: eight hours of (mostly) uninterrupted sleep; second graders; dads who eat lunch with their kids and then play freeze tag with them at recess

Tuesday: reading "Love You Forever" to second-graders, even though it makes you cry, as usual; getting a brand-new computer printer for free; being approached about one of your photos being used in a brochure for a nonprofit organization that helps animals

Wednesday: discovering new purple wildflowers growing along the road; a day at home to catch up on email, work on your book, critique your writing group's submissions, and scratch other to-do's off of your list

Thursday: road trips with girlfriends; your zoom lens working long enough to capture some close-up bird photos; moonlight on the water

 

“The waves of the sea help me get back to me.” ~Jill Davis

Friday: waking to the sound of the surf; walking and running on the beach with a friend; spending a day on the beach with friends and your camera; discovering you can still do a cartwheel; grilled shrimp and huge onion rings; dancing at Sharkey's until closing time

 

(Conni gets credit for this photo, and all with me in them, I think, unless she's with me. I'm the one in blue...not bad for an old lady, huh? The other two are twenty-somethings. Thank you, Ms. H, my 6th grade gymnastics teacher, for making us practice, practice, practice!)

 

Saturday: relaxing on the beach with friends for the second day in a row; strangers pointing out things you should photograph, like dogs lying on lounge chairs;  the rain holding off until you're ready to come inside; watching UT-Austin win a tight game while listening to the running commentary of your very vocal, passionate friends; full-moon-light kissing the waves and a lightning show flashing in the background; staying up late watching Saturday Night Live with one of your longtime friends

Sunday: a solitary walk on a near-empty beach in the pale light of dawn; a chance meeting of someone you first met the year before on the beach; being able to wish your dear friend happy birthday in person; a stop in Swinny Switch, Texas; fresh, warm tortillas and grilled veggies at the Alamo Cafe; your husband's face after four days away from home

 

 

Monday: explosions of tiny yellow, white, and purple wildflowers along your dirt road; meeting a neighbor and her dog on your morning walk; having enough money to pay the bills

 

Hope you have a week full of sweet!s!

P.S. Happy birthday, Mary Kay!

 

Friends, sisters, mothers, daughters... blessed with each other's love and company.

"Age disappears when you're at the beach." ~ me

 

Reunion, Part 1 (and back to reality with a thud)

 

"Are you someone's grandmother?" he asked as soon as I walked into the classroom. I had to have him repeat it before I understood. My hearing isn't so great anymore plus he was missing his two front teeth!

"No, I'm your substitute teacher." I could feel the air fizzling out of my bubble...the 1977 fantasy world I'd been living in the past few days,where I'm perpetually 18.

High school reunions, surrounded by classmates and memories, can do that to you.

And all it takes is one little toothless cutie pie to send you crashing back to menopausal reality. Thanks a lot, kid.

I've been hanging out with second-graders the past two days, and before that, I was hanging out with a 50+ crowd who mostly behaved like teenagers. No better way to stay feeling young - even if the second graders like to remind you you're old enough to be their grandmother!

My high school reunion was a blast - at least in my opinion, and as far as I could tell, everyone else agreed with me. There weren't a lot of us, but we had enough fun to want to do it again soon. To heck with waiting every five years.

A few of us started it Friday night with a tour of our old high school. OMG! It was huge when we went there, but it's doubled in size since then. There's actually a branch of a credit union in the lunchroom, a coffee shop (run by students, I believe), a police department, and a culinary arts program with its own chef. Street signs mark hallways - I would surely get lost without them!

After the tour, a bunch of us watched the first half of the homecoming football game. The Fighting Deer were winning when we left, right after the new Homecoming Queen was crowned. As a former HQ, I felt obligated to stay at least that long before heading off to the big Pre-Reunion Party at my friend Rae's house.

Bless their hearts, this is the second time Rae and her husband Keith have opened up their home to all of us old renegades for a little casual ice-breaking before the dressier event the next evening. Another friend ordered matching t-shirts for all the women, making us official Deer Park Divas. 

At one point during the evening, Rae led me and Tom outside. The other Divas were already gathered there, and knowing how sneaky they are, I wondered what they had been up to now.

Turns out they pitched in and got us a paving stone decorated with the Air Force symbol, in honor of Pop. They knew Tom would appreciate that much more than flowers.  Ah, those sweet friends.

I'm embarrassed to say Tom and I were (again!) the last to leave Friday night... er, Saturday morning. We just hate for those nights to end!

 

 

No more worries about forgetting your lunch money!

 It goes on and on and on and on....

See the splotches of white-out? Those are guys who popped their 'Stud Duck' hats on just before the camera clicked - after being told to take them off. The white-out comes right off. Isn't 35 years long enough?

(That's me on the bottom front row, the brunette between blonde Larry and brunette Gina-tay.)

 

Chef Reggie

Alumni who have made the school proud. (I'm not on there.)

 

That's okay. I'm part of this special group! 

(For more images from the Homecoming football game, go HERE)

Deer Park Divas!

 

They are so sweet and thoughtful!

Photo-bombing!

 

 

Thanks again to Cindy for arranging the tour, Rae and Keith for opening your home,  Gina for ordering the t-shirts, Debra and the other Divas for the paving stone, and Sandy for taking over my camera so I could photo-bomb with Rae and Gina-tay! 

Oh, and happy 31st-anniversary-of-the-day-we-met to Tom! Thank you for asking me to dance!

1977

Tom and I are off to immerse ourselves in 1977.

In other words, we're going to my 35th high school reunion. (That number just slips through my brain without even registering - I can't be old enough to be out of school that long!)

Tonight I'll go on a tour of my old high school to see the changes (I hope there's something I still recognize!) and sit in the stands talking to classmates while a football game plays on the field far below, just like the old days. I get to relive my glory days of a Homecoming halftime (yes, I was Homecoming Queen - save your jokes, I've heard them all!) then head to a friend's house for a huge reunion warm-up party. 

Tomorrow night is the official reunion - a hotel ballroom, catered dinner, DJ, and dancing! Whoo-hoo!

There will be people attending this one who have never attended a reunion before. Facebook has closed the gaps we perceived from our high school days, and helped us see beyond whatever images we projected on each other back then. Now our similarities and shared past bind us together.

Best of all, I'll be seeing my Mama and Daddy, and (I hope) my sweet sister, and my kids are old enough to house-sit so we don't worry about it or the puppies. It will be a great weekend!

 

That's me, 35 years ago. I never realized they spelled my name wrong. Well, I probably did and just forgot. I'm 53, you know! This brain can only hold so much.

And look... once upon a time I wore a tiara...

Then came real life. 

Actually, as honored as I am to be  DPHS Class of '77's perpetual Homecoming Queen, I think tiara-less real life is pretty dang awesome, too, as you can see from my week of sweet!s  (I've anticipated a few as you can see...)

 

Monday: progress on your book; finally starting to learn Photoshop Elements; a friend knowing you will help them; a paycheck for your photography; friends who have stuck around for more than 40 years; another beautiful sunset

 

Tuesday: watching your old puppy run after a rabbit (extra sweet - he doesn't catch it!); water in your pond again; a puppy who is happy just to have you in sight; more progress on your book; a productive meeting

Wednesday: a haircut from Michael; your zoom back home, safe and sound and working again; grocery shopping and dinner with your baby girl; warm focaccia bread dipped in olive oil; a crescent moon hanging above a purple horizon; the detailed medical records you kept when your kids were small coming in handy now that they're grown and buying their own life insurance

 

Thursday: a pedi/mani and the massage chair you get to sit in; sales racks and 20% off coupons when you need new clothes; friends stepping in when you need help with a project; finally finishing the book you need to review; the birth of new Shallue... Kaitlyn Rose (Congratulations, Tom and Lynn!)

 

Friday: a road trip with your sweetie; an afternoon with your Mom and Dad; a tour of your old high school; your hometown homecoming football game, surrounded by classmates; a party at Rae's, seeing friends you haven't seen in decades

Saturday: your 35th high school reunion and all of the wonders and joys that holds; dancing; your children taking care of your puppies so you can party and dance without worrying about them

 

I hope you have a week full of sweet! moments!

P.S If you have a chance to get-together with longtime friends or classmates, even those you didn't know well in high school - or perhaps thought you knew and didn't care for - I hope you grab that opportunity to discover shared memories and rekindle (or plain kindle) friendships!

DPHS Class of '77 ROCKS! 

63 Years Ago...

...these two youngsters joined hands and hearts and said "I do."

 

 

They were young, but Daddy had been to the other side of the world and back on a Navy ship in World War II. He had been to college and now worked as a Highway Patrolman. Mama already knew from experience that marriage was more than a fairy-tale romance - she was a now a single mom, working to take care of her young son. 

They knew life had its dark side, but I guess they saw a light in each other that they knew would help them get through whatever darkness awaited them. 

I'm grateful that God led them to each other, crossing their paths in that little restaurant so many years ago, and for the stubborn love in their hearts that has refused to let life tear them apart... that has instead grown ever stronger, finding more joy and laughter than tears.

Mama and Daddy, I wrote this last year, but it will be true forever...

Thank you for the love you have for each other, a love that has survived life's firing, its ups and downs, joys and heartbreaks.

That looks past each other's idiosyncrasies and irritations into your hearts where love lies, releasing it to color everything you do with affection and patience.

Thank you for your strength, your humor, your honesty, your compassion, your generosity and unselfishness that reaches out to each of us and holds us close no matter the physical distance.

I am blessed.

 

Happy 63rd Anniversary, Mama and Daddy! 

 

"Our wedding was many years ago.  The celebration continues to this day."  ~Gene Perret 

Ah, Mother's Day...

For the first time in years, I actually saw my mother on Mother's Day instead of telling her how much I love and appreciate her via a card and a phone call.

It meant missing church and spending hours on the road Sunday morning, but Daniel (middle son) awoke early enough to send me off stuffed with my traditional Mother's Day eggs and bacon breakfast. He even offered to feed the dogs for me, but I treated myself to those few relaxing minutes on the back porch with my coffee.

I got to see the other 2/3 of my kids on Saturday at my future daughter-in-law's sister's college graduation party in San Antonio. Tommy gave me a beautiful card and TG surprised me with a cup she decorated with sparkly beads and a note that begins "To my closest friend, my role model, and my rock..."

Add the breakfast Daniel made me, and what more could a mother want?

To see her own mother, that's what.

It helped that I had today off, so after dinner at Sudie's Catfish House with my mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law, and niece yesterday afternoon, I was able to relax and visit awhile last night, and then sleep late and enjoy bacon and eggs a la Daddy this morning before jumping back on that highway headed home.

(Speaking of Sudie's... we were sitting there in one of the side dining rooms when I noticed this older woman enter. Her face looked so familiar, a memory drifting out of my childhood, but I couldn't place it. Then her husband entered, and her daughter, and the memory was anchored. Ginger, Buddy, and Randi who used to live behind us, who used to call me BeeBee. I spent hours and hours at their house, played in their backyard, coveted Randi's doll collection and loved Ginger's cherry tomatoes.

How fitting, and what a wonderful surprise, to see one of the moms from your childhood on Mother's Day. Randi actually lives near me and we met for lunch a couple of years ago, so it was good to see her again and meet her husband and daughter.)

My gift to my mom...I gathered most of my flower photos from the past few weeks into a printed bouquet... a book of my flower photos, accoompanied by sentimental but fitting quotes about mothers.

And another gift, although I'm not sure it's one she noticed... although I glanced at my email on my phone, I didn't touch her computer. Not once. It'll take me a couple of weeks to catch up on Facebook and email and blog reading, but I feel it was a good trade-off to focus on time with her and Daddy while I had the chance.

I have to admit I was busy snapping photos out the back door again. Two green parakeets (which are actually about 10 inches long) and a white dove visited their backyard, along with the regular menagerie. I'll post those pics later on the photography blog.

I hope all of you had a wonderful weekend, too. If you weren't able to be with your mother, I hope memories of her filled your heart and brought a smile to your face.

And if the week ahead of you looks as crazy and rushed as the one ahead of me, don't forget to breathe and focus on each moment! 

"If you have a mom, there is nowhere you are likely to go where a prayer has not already been."

 ~Robert Brault

I Do

 

 

When I said those words twenty-seven years ago today, I didn't know what the hell I was talking about.

How can you, when you're just twenty-three years old? It's such a leap of faith, marriage is...it's saying "come hell or high water, come arguments about bratty kids and light fixtures or stress about sick kids and college bills, I'm going to stick with you whether you like it or not. And I hope you like it." But you don't know that at the time.

I look back over our years together and I know the only thing that got us through some of them is that I fell head over heels in love with this man, and he felt the same about me.

It's like Jim Croce's song "Time In a Bottle"...you stash those memories and good times in a box or a bottle and on those days when you look at your partner and wonder "Who IS this person?" you just open up that box and pull out some of those memories, and say "Oh, yeah...I remember you. I know you're in there somewhere and I'll just hang on till you come back."

Clinging - I understand that word now.

It feels like we've been on a long journey. I think we've pretty much covered the "better/worse, richer/poorer, sickness/ health" bits, although I'm sure more excitement awaits us, but now it feels like we've worked our way back to where we started...only closer, wiser, more humble and a lot more appreciative.

And it's a good place to be. Knowing what I know now, I'd still say "I do" and I think he would, too.

A few years ago he performed a 'dance' for me to the tune of Grand Funk Railroad's "Some Kind of Wonderful". 

Well, I can't top that, so I'm just going to let my old friend Carole explain how I feel - she has a much better voice than I do.

 

 

 

Happy Anniversary, Babe.

I love you, and I'm ready for the next twenty-seven, plus some.

  

The Sugar on Top

Tom and I were driving up to Maryland for the first time so I could meet his family and childhood friends before our wedding. It was my first time in Tennessee, the Carolinas and all of those other states between Texas and Maryland. What a fabulous trip - seeing the sunrise just outside of Nashville, driving through the Smokies, the Blue Ridge, and the Shenandoah Mountains, seeing the lights of Washington D.C.

But I think it was soon after we crossed the Virginia state line that I started scavenging for food in the car - I was getting really nervous about meeting his family, and that's one thing I do when I'm nervous. Eat.

When I ran out of food, I pulled out my "practice" photo, the one of Tom and all of his brothers taken at a recent wedding, and started testing myself on the names of his eight brothers. Thank goodness I'd only be meeting five on this trip.

I was mostly nervous about meeting his mom. I would be the first non-Catholic daughter-in-law! We had written back and forth and she seemed to like me, but I couldn't keep those worries out of my head. Now I can't believe I was ever nervous - Mom welcomed with open arms and her beautiful bright smile. She and Pop treated me like their own daughter from the very start.

Over the years, I've seen and heard tales of horrible mother-in-laws, and I realize how very lucky I am...not only did I snag the best husband ever, but he came wrapped in a package with this fabulous woman. She raised nine boys into nine good men without losing her sense of humor, sense of self, and sense of fun.  She's the kind of mother-in-law who was quite willing to turn the care of her sons over to their wives, thank-you-very-much. There was never any kind of test to see if I was "good enough" for Tom - as long as he loved me and thought I was the right one, she did, too. She's always been quick to help and quick with advice...when asked. I've learned by watching her and my own mother how to generously give of myself to my family and my community, but ensure I retain something for myself.

Today is Mom's birthday. I wish we could have been with her, rather than just send our happy birthday wishes over the phone. Now that the kids are all out of school, I'm hoping we'll be able to do just that - plan a visit on her birthday. Or at least close to it. For now, the phone and photos will have to do to make us feel close...

 

Mom and Pop with the first seven...

 

With Tom and me in front of the Maryland house on my first visit...

 

At our wedding...

 

Playing cribbage with Pop and Tom at the Florida house last year...one of her favorite things...

Happy, happy birthday Mom!! Thank you for being you!

What do Fishnet Stockings, Purple Rooms, and Donny Osmond Posters Have in Common?

I started third-grade as a tomboy - crazy about boys, mind you, but pretty oblivious to fashion until Darla and Candy walked into the classroom wearing fishnet stockings.  In 1967 you couldn't get any cooler than fishnet stockings. 

That's my first memory of Darla, but she moves in and out of other memories over the next forty years. For instance, I tasted my first Dorito at a party at her house (that was when she was in love with Donny Osmond and everything in her room was purple, his favorite color.)

But ironically, although we had mutual friends and ran in some of the same circles, we somehow missed each other all through high school. We didn't become close friends until we worked together on our ten-year high school reunion. We clicked and have stuck like glue ever since.  Tom and I even followed her to the Austin area. (I wonder if I would have had the guts to move here if she hadn't done it first?)        

So there you have it...Darla introduced me to fishnet stockings, Doritos, and the Austin area. And today she even stepped across that #50 line ahead of me. What a great friend! 

Happy 50th birthday, dear Darla! 

 

Here we are together on Senior Kid Day '77 (in back, Randy, Mark, Larry, Teason, Curtis, Billy, Rusty; in front, me, Wesley, Tamara, Darla, and Brenda)

 

Here we are together last year in her back yard when she graciously hosted my birthday party - she hosted three or four get-togethers last year! (Donna, Leslie, Larry, Todd, Darla, me, Ann.) 

 

 

And here we are tonight at Tokyo Steakhouse - Leslie, Darla, me, Madison (thanks for taking the photo, Clive!)

Celebrating Christmas

Christmas Day around here was lazy - centered around family and food. LOTS of food!

We always have a traditional, heart-attack-waiting-to-happen breakfast on Christmas morning - bacon, fried eggs, and buttered toast. I ate so much that I still wasn't very hungry when Christmas dinner rolled around:  non-traditional smoked brisket, chicken, and sausage.

Of course, that might have been due to the chocolate chip cookies I baked (and ate) before dinner. Those were mainly for TG, because after dinner I made cyclops cookies - the ones the rest of us are addicted to but she can't eat because of the peanut butter. 

Our kitchen island was already laden with gift cookies from friends, and some gingerbread people I couldn't pass up at the store earlier this week (that's another odd thing I blame on menopause...until this year I wouldn't have looked twice at store-bought gingerbread - this year I couldn't resist them!)

 

 

 

We spent a lot of time on the phone talking to family - understandable considering Tommy couldn't be here and Tom has eight brothers, scattered around the country. I was on the phone two or three times with my family alone!

Here's a picture of my three kids "together" on Christmas day. 

 

Tom and I took a walk to work off some of the food. Santa brought me the zoom lens I wanted, so we played around with it. I finally captured Max's goofiness and Tom took some of me (hopefully not looking QUITE as goofy as Max. It looks more like summer than Christmas day, doesn't it?)

 

 

In the afternoon, Daniel and I watched a very different Santa Claus movie from around 1959. Brenda had remembered taking me to the Capitan just before Christmas for several years to watch it when we were younger. This summer she googled "Santa, devil, and Merlin" and Poof! there it was.  

It didn't ring a bell when she first told me about it, but while I watched it, suddenly some parts were VERY familiar - the memories had been hidden in some recess of my mind, buried under all kinds of other odds and ends. 

It was fun digging them out and brushing them off after so many years. And I realize even more how lucky I am to have a sister like Brenda...she must have really loved me to sit through that movie every year! (She was old enough to realize how corny it was!)

Later, Tom and I watched "A Christmas Story". I don't think that one needs any explaining, but just in case..."You'll shoot your eye out!"

 

 

I ran today while watching "Mama Mia". I couldn't get anyone in my family to watch it with me! We watched "The Dark Knight" again recently, and I've decided I prefer "MamaMia" - it just makes me smile so much!

Tom is in Dallas right now, fetching Tommy and his car. They've got it on the trailer and are preparing to pull out. I'll be praying a lot in the next few hours. I think I'll go finish watching "Mama Mia" - maybe it'll keep my mind off of them.

Tomorrow (well, maybe Sunday), tune in for "Christmas Celebration Part 2: Tommy's Home"...