Long Hollow

Birthdays, Austin Adventures, and other Sweet!s

Once you reach a certain age, numbers become surreal. They change (faster and faster and faster) but you feel the same.

Wasn't it only yesterday I was cage dancing in honor of my 50th birthday? 

Way back in my thirties and forties, I set some goals for myself. By my 50th birthday, I planned to have graduated with at least a bachelor's degree and have a book published. There was also some vague notion that I would be able to play something that resembled music on my drums.

As that birthday approached, I cut myself some slack and extended the deadline to my 55th birthday. Surely that would be enough time to accomplish at least one of those goals.

Well, here I am at 54, and I know if the good Lord lets me reach my 55th birthday, odds are it's going to be without a degree or a published book, and my drumming will most likely continue to be a lot of loud noise that makes me happy...and everyone else want to plug their ears.

At first I thought about extending the deadline for those goals to 60. Instead, I'm tossing deadlines aside. Period. There are still dreams I'd like to see come true, but life is hard enough without the extra pressure we put on ourselves.

So more than ever, my goal for this year is just to take life as it comes, day by day, and do the best I can.

If I never get any closer to realizing those dreams than where I'm standing today, I'm okay with that. It's a good place, no, it's a great place to be.

I am truly blessed.

Yesterday my kids joined me as tour guides for a day of Austin Adventures. Despite living in the area for almost 20 years, there are so many "Austin" things I've never experienced.

We only made a dent in the list, but it was a great day, starting with brunch at Cherrywood Coffeehouse with my oldest, Tommy, and Andrew, a longtime friend of Tommy's from high school and college days...plus Andrew's beautiful wife and two precious kids. 

I believe birthdays are for experiencing 'firsts', so I ordered a smoked crayfish omelette...my first time to eat crayfish. And it was yummy!

From there we picked up my other two kids and headed for the eclectic shops lining South Congress. Costumes, art, antiques, and lots of interesting junk.  

There were also street musicians and food trailers! Oh, so many food trailers!

Still full from brunch, I settled on a 24 Carrot cupcake from the Hey Cupcake! trailer and shared it with the kids.

(Great timing! My future daughter-in-law was across the street at Home Slice with her best friend, on a break from wedding errands, so I even got to see her, which was like getting more cream cheese icing on my cupcake!)

From there we went to the highest spot in Austin - Mount Bonnell. By the time you drive there, it's only a few flights of stone steps to the top, where you get a gorgeous view of Lake Austin in one direction and the Austin skyline in the other. 

 

It's not exactly mountain-climbing. But my kids zoomed ahead of me and I was out of breath by the time I joined them at the top.

I have an old, old, old postcard that features a photograph of the state capital from Mount Bonnell and wanted to reproduce it. So you can imagine how disappointed I was that someone had the gall to build something mostly blocking the capital from view. Sigh.

You can barely see the tip of the capital peeking up, but the University of Texas Tower is standing proud and unobstructed at least, there on the left.

 

When I saw that I was testing the patience of my kids with all of the photos of us that I asked strangers to take and the amazing views, we headed to our last stop: Rainey Street, a historic dictrict recently converted to a strip of bars and restaurants.

I was ready for something to eat and drink, but I confess the biggest draw for me to Rainey Street was Geraldine, a guinea fowl who lives in the area. She's been in the news, trying to warn people of her existence so she doesn't get run over. She even has her own Facebook page.

So you can imagine my excitement when, as soon as we pulled into a parking space, Daniel said "Hey, there's a guinea fowl pecking at the tires."

In a flash I was scrambling out of the car, telling her how pretty she was and snapping photos. Yes, I was star struck. Oh, if we had only known about her back when Frankie was alive. They would have made a beautiful couple!

 

I caught up to my kids and we headed into Craft Pride, where there's a mind-boggling selection of craft beers. My taste for beer is slowly recovering from the initial menopausal shock from a few years ago. I'm not sure if that's good or bad, but it was fun sitting on the patio behind the bar, sipping on a beer and talking to my kids.

(That just seems so weird.)

After that, we wandered down the street, trying to decide where to eat. We picked the Javelina Bar, because Tommy had been there before. The food was great! (So were the Bloody Mary's. Hey, it was my birthday, and I had a designated driver!)

I have to thank my wonderful kids again for helping me celebrate my birthday. I've always had lots of fun with them, whether it was visiting the playground at McDonald's or the Natural Science Museum in Houston or the zoo, and it's still awesome to spend so much time with them.

If I never accomplish a single thing in my life, it's okay with me, because I played a part in bringing those three into this world. And that's something special. In a good way. 

And then, would you believe the fun  and celebrations continued today?  I met some of my local Deer Park Divas at Jack Allen's Kitchen for an amazing brunch. (I swear I've gained 10 pounds this weekend!)

Gwen made a Red Velvet Cake and Darla solicited contributions for a gift card for me to buy some cowboy - er, cowgirl - boots. I've been trying and trying to win some through contests on Facebook, with no success. I think they felt sorry for me.

My friends are so sneaky and amazing and I love them all.

As I said, I am blessed. Amen.

And now for the official "Sweet!" list from the past week...

 

Monday: listening to the writings of 4th graders; the silky soft fur of a bunny rabbit; taking a break on a small terrace beside a little pond with your husband, listening to the birds sing above you and the trickle of a small waterfall

Tuesday: finishing a long walk with your puppies just before the rain begins; enjoying the sight, sound, and smell of a spring shower from the shelter of your porch; fewer mice turds in your car, indicating the party might be moving somewhere else; a day of much-needed heavy rain

Wednesday: recovering from your fright long enough to remove the little mouse hiding in your glove box and place it in the woods; gumbo with grilled shrimp and smoked duck for lunch on a rainy day; two days in a row of customers with British-y accents; no damage from the high winds that kept you awake the night before

Thursday: no more mouse poop in your car!; gathering with friends for a movie and dinner, especially when it's in honor of your birthday; movies starring Billy Crystal and Bette Midler

 

Friday: picking up your new $1 iPhone from the post office; amazing magic tricks performed by a high school student; {bittersweet} getting off work early enough to attend a friend's funeral

Saturday: your 54th birthday; brunch with your son and his friend; seeing your son's childhood friends all grown up, with kids of their own; exploring Austin with your kids as tour guides; the view of Austin from Mount Bonnell; Hey Cupcake; meeting Geraldine the Rainey Street Guinea Fowl

Sunday: pancakes after Mass; continuing your birthday celebration with sweet friends, a delicious brunch buffet, Bloody Mary's, and Red Velvet Cake; friends who pool funds together to get you something you couldn't afford to get yourself; Polish pottery; helping a friend celebrate her book release (Susie Kralovansky's "There Was a Tall Texan Who Swallowed A Flea"); an afternoon walk in warm sunshine with your puppies

 

 

I hope you all had a week full of sweet! moments! If you don't think you did, pay more attention! I swear, they're there!

 

 

Linking with

Five Things on a Friday Night (when I should have been dancing)

 

 

1. My crape myrtles are budding! I'm really surprised because we haven't had much rain and the poor things haven't bloomed in two or three years now. I wasn't even sure they were still alive. I've got my fingers crossed they've somehow established themselves enough to give me some summer color later on.

2. I had a chance to go dancing with friends tonight. Instead, here I am editing photos and working on a blog post. Not that I don't love blogging, but...well, I love, love, love dancing!

So why am I blogging instead of dancing, you ask? Tom didn't want to go, and it was a bit of a drive...and I have to work tomorrow...so I was debating whether or not I should go. Trying to be a grown-up.

In the meantime, I went shopping for shoes to wear at my son's wedding. I should have gone prepared to meet my friends when I finished up, just in case, because shopping took longer than I expected (of course!) and by the time I got home, it was really too late to eat dinner, change clothes, and go back out.

Sigh and dang it.

Which just goes to show what I always tell my kids...if you don't make a decision, the decision is usually made for you. 

3. On Monday I had brunch with the sister and mother of a friend I've known since 2nd grade, Todd. They were traveling through a neighboring town and asked if I wanted to meet them. Of course!! 

 

That's me on the left. Beside me is Mrs. Scruggs - would you believe she's 81? She says 80 is the new 40. I love it! Across from us are Darlene and ... ah, I can't remember her husband's name!

(I'm sure my memory is directly affected by my lack of dancing lately!)

4. Jon Bon Jovi is coming to Austin in concert next month. For some reason, I wasn't that interested in him when I was younger and Bon Jovi first made it big. But now, I would love, love, love to see him, more than Eric Clapton or others who have been here recently. Love his music and his hair. Isn't that weird? Of course, I don't have money for tickets to see anyone. But if I did, now you know who I'd spend it to see!

5. In case you've been living in a closet with no access to a television, I'm please to inform you we have a new Pope! As a Catholic, I'm very hopeful about it. From all accounts, Pope Francis is a very humble, simple, but intelligent and courageous man.

I believe those are the qualities of a great leader of any institution, but especially for a church.

I hope you have a fantastic weekend. If you get the chance to do something you love, don't be wishy-washy and waste time trying to be practical like me - just go do it, for Pete's sake!

 

Linking up with

Gratitude (and other sweet!s)

 

My dad is still in the hospital following his little stroke earlier this week, but he's stable and should be able to go home tomorrow.

However, considering his health history and his stubborn determination to no longer follow the heart/diabetic healthy diet he's followed for a couple of decades, I doubt this is the last emergency trip to the hospital he's going to take. 

My older son drove down yesterday to check on them. Twenty-seven years ago they were taking care of him (while I worked) and now he's taking care of them (while I work.)

What a beautiful circle.

I appreciate all of your prayers for Daddy, as well as all of the advice and encouragement you sent me after my last post. I still haven't figured out what I'm going to do, but you've given me so much to consider when making my decision. Thank you so much, sweet friends!

It's been an up-and-down, exhausting week, but each day still offered plenty of sweet! moments, nonetheless. I hope you're still finding plenty, too! Share them in the comments!

 

Sunday: new wine, fresh from the barrel; the half moon and a sky full of stars guiding you home after an evening of laughter and tears with dear friends; a glimpse of deer and a ringtail in your headlights 

Monday: sleeping in; your son joining you on your morning walk with the puppies and helping you take down your Christmas tree; moonlight on a caliche road and tin roof

Be like the bird that, pausing in her flight awhile on boughs too slight, feels them give way beneath her, and yet sings, knowing that she hath wings.

~Victor Hugo

Tuesday: a glimpse of a cardinal, first thing in the morning; a hawk soaring through a cloudless azure sky; sore muscles; remembering to pick up your puppy's dog food on your way home from work

Wednesday: a walk in the fog; brick oven roasted veggies; relaxing after work with a glass of wine on a patio overlooking a vineyard; baby steps on your book

Thursday: an invitation to join an online group of women writers; high school students who are courteous and respectful; cell phones so you can keep up with news of your dad's latest mini-stroke even though you're miles away

Friday: news that your dad is stable and hearing his voice via speakerphone; the full moon rising; daydreaming about returning to college

Saturday: a chocolate cake-ball-on-a-stick; a face-to-face moment with a deer on your caliche road, even if you're not able to capture it with your camera; your son making a road trip to see your parents in the hospital; friends asking about your dad; a text from a friend reminding you there's a full moon, because it made her think of you; dramatic clouds swirling around a full moon

Sunday: your husband taking over your dog-feeding duties to give you a little free time before work; singing "How Great Thou Art"; a job tip from a friend; a beautiful surprise visitor in your yard when you get home from church; a gift of song from a dear friend

 

Our surprise visitor, Rico, who lives up the road. Can you believe he's 12? 

 

A Sweet Saturday Morning

 

My kids will be here today. 

That was the first thought that crossed my mind when I woke up this morning. And I awoke without the usual pre-waking symphony of dueling alarm clocks. 

The sun had already made itself at home in the Hollow. Belle sat patiently outside the door, staring, waiting for a sign of movement. So before I started the coffee, I stepped onto the doorstep to tell her and Max good morning.

That's when I noticed the box from Shutterfly resting in the grass beside the front walk. I thought it was an odd place for FedEx to leave it, then ding! I realized it hadn't been left there - the wiggly puppy in front of me had moved it there.

As soon as I picked it up, she tried to melt into the front porch, hoping to disappear. But the box was in one piece -  no harm to the cards - so I just gently reminded her to leave boxes alone and scratched her ear. I also informed her, in a sweet voice, of course, that if the cards had been damaged she would be eating the cheapest dog food ever for at least a year. 

Whew! 

Now I'm off to decorate my tree, bake cookies, address Christmas cards, wrap a few gifts, clean house... perhaps fit a game of ping-pong in there. (One can hope!)

Later this evening I plan to watch Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol. I can't wait! I'm tempted to set an alarm so I don't forget!

I remember watching it every year when I was little. It's always been one of my favorites, and I'm so glad it's going to be back on television. I hope my kids agree to watch it with me.

Did any of you watch it, too?

It's been a sweet morning and promises to be a sweet day, overall. I wish the same for each one of you.

Here are a few other sweet! moments from the past week...

 

 

Monday: Happy Hour and the Austin Trail of Lights with your kids and their friends on a cold night; spinning under the giant Christmas tree at the end of it

Tuesday: snuggled under the covers, hearing your husband toss another log in the woodburning stove to keep you warm before he leaves for work; Texas weather - wearing shorts in December, after a frosty morning; your husband's project at work complete enough that he gets to come home for more than just a few hours of sleep

Wednesday: pink mornings; pajama day in a kindergarten class; reading to 5-year-olds; meeting deadlines; a husband's great attitude when yet another thing goes wrong for him

Thursday:  a live performance by Drew Womack while you do lunchroom duty in an elementary school; a Facebook friend request from your daughter for Christmas

Friday: snooze alarms; Christmas bonuses; seeing friends in the grocery store; Christmas cards and paychecks in the mailbox; surprise packages

Saturday: a morning with no alarms buzzing; finding your Christmas cards on the doorstep, but your puppy didn't destroy them; a great blue heron flying right outside your window where you sit typing your sweet! list; that great blue heron landing in a tree close to the house and staying long enough for you to grab your zoom lens and tripod and snap some photos

 

Every morning while the coffee brews, I glance at my email on my phone, always hoping for a job offer or a photo or jewelry sale. No such luck this morning, but I came across this Quiet Moment of the Day which seemed to speak right to me. Right away I knew I wanted to share it with you. Wishing you all a very merry, very blessed Christmas! And remember...

Take the time. Don’t be forever dashing. Try sauntering.

The word saunter has an
instructive background. It’s from the French Sainte Terre, Holy Land, and refers to the easy pace taken by the pilgrims who were enjoying the trip itself as well as relishing the goal. 

 
Life itself is a holy land, and deserves to be enjoyed en route.

~Joseph Gallagher

 

"That's the smell of money..."

I was born and grew up in a town nicknamed Stink-a-dena on the Houston Ship Channel. In December, the blue northers pushed the scent of the paper mill onto our street.

I still connect that smell with Christmas.

The plants lining the ship channel paid tons of property taxes, so we had great schools. That's one reason our parents moved there. The other was money.

Good wages. Good benefits. Good schools. What more could you want?

I'm not complaining. I'm really not. I'm grateful, although it's a conflicted feeling inside of me. I lived in a great neighborhood, went to exceptional schools, have priceless memories, and treasured lifelong friends.

I eventually went to work at one of the new chemical plants myself, which, along with his GI Bill, provided Tom the means to get his degree.

But I quit as soon as I could and we found a way to move from the area. I wasn't homesick a day, except for the sight of my parents and siblings and many friends we had there.

The best thing, besides the change in scenery? My kids' asthma faded away like a wisp of steam from a boiler stack.

"That's the smell of money." It's a common phrase in my hometown, and it's true. The trade-off wasn't worth it to us, even right now when we're so broke.

But I would never criticize my friends and family who still work in those chemical plants, or others around the world, because the truth is, all of us depend on the products they're producing, and we should be grateful to them. 

My niece shared a song on my Facebook wall today about chemical workers.  It's what triggered this post - she said it reminded her of me. In some odd way, it makes me proud. Thanks, Carol.

Without further ado, here's The Chemical Worker's Song...

 

 

A Photography, Writing, Duck Soup, Fajitas, and Birthday Cake Weekend

Several months ago, on a slow Saturday at the winery bistro, I waited on a man and his wife. The man had a Nikon, so of course I started asking him a jillion questions and talking photography.

Their son had gotten married that weekend, so I gave him my email address and he sent me the link to the photos he took (fantastic!) and some websites to check out for posting pics, etc. 

Well, this past Saturday Steve (that's his name) dropped in for lunch and a photography shoot. He sat by a window and was able to snap images of some hummingbirds that never stay put long enough for me to grab my camera and capture.

It was a busier Saturday than the first so we didn't get to talk shop as much, but it was still fun seeing him in person again.

Isn't it amazing how friendships are born?

From work I drove straight to my writing critique group meeting. I finished my latest chapter too late for everyone to critique this time (the key thing is I finished it!), but I benefit just from meeting with these women and sharing critiques of their works.

Three of the members were pitching their works-in-progress at the Writer's League of America conference and couldn't make the meeting; before we left we heard via phone that all three had been asked to submit chapters to agents! I'm in good company, that's for sure. (I hope they let me keep meeting with them!)

From there, I headed to a concert-in-progress by Duck Soup. Our school's previous band director, Les Huff, is a member and I had yet to hear him play in this band. I finally made it!

The place was packed and I had fun listening, snapping a few photos, and dancing in place from the sidelines, but even more fun when I met up with Les' wife and made it out to the dance floor during the last set.

That's Les on the end. Don't let all the gray hair and bald heads fool you... these guys can rock!

Here's a better one of Les. Notice the trumpet at his feet? Multi-talented! 

The dance floor was packed, with all ages represented...

(I'm not going to say where they were playing because this restaurant, previously one of my favorites and one I've given tons of free publicity in the past, has decided to put a minimum tab of $50 on all outside seats during these concerts. So I won't be eating there anymore or mentioning them on my website.)

Sunday after Mass Tom and I drove to a friend's house to help her celebrate her birthday, which was actually today (happy birthday, Leslie!)

Fajitas, birthday cake, and friendship - the perfect ending to a beautiful weekend.

(Today Tom and I went hunting snakes - but I'll save that for another post.)

Hope your weekend was filled with music, friendship, and things that bring a smile to your face!

 

 

The Great U2 Mystery

Yesterday morning, I was all set to listen to U2 while I ran on the treadmill. I've kept their Achtung, Baby! down there for several years for when the U2 running mood hits me. (I also keep some Ted Nugent, John Mellencamp, and Dixie Chicks handy - my running moods are pretty eclectic!)

(It's kind of funny... I didn't appreciate U2 until I approached my fifties. That seems so strange to me because I love their music now... to me, it's so passionate and energizing.) 

Anyway, that's what I needed yesterday morning, but when I opened the case, it was empty!

I searched through the loose cds piled on the shelf - no luck. I looked through the other cds upstairs. No luck. 

I scratched my head. Why did my U2 cds keep disappearing?  My absolute favorite one - The Best of 1990-2000 - went missing years ago. I keep the case, still hoping it will turn up someday, maybe under a couch cushion or someone's bed, perhaps. 

But now Achtung, too? What was going on? Was this some personal vendetta against me and U2?

I called Tom, texted all of my kids, in hopes that someone saw something, spotted it somewhere, remembered removing it from the player...

No luck.

Thank goodness I still had Joshua Tree to appease my U2 running mood, but the whole time I ran I wondered about Achtung and the great U2 CD Mystery...

When Tom came home later that evening, it only took him a couple of minutes to find it, of course. Show-off. Someone (possibly even me) had placed it in a clear cd case. It was sitting right there on the shelf near the others.

I would be mad at him if I wasn't so grateful. (Thank you, baby! Now can you find the other one?)

Getting Happy

 

I played my drums today.

That makes two days in a row after several weeks of merely dusting them. A friend shared with me some basic beats he learned in his drum class and I've been wanting to practice them for days, but just had too many important things I needed to do. 

Playing the drums isn't important. Or at least I didn't think it was until today. Not until the rain that wasn't supposed to arrive until tomorrow showed up a day early, forcing me to postpone a family photo shoot I had scheduled with a friend this afternoon.

We've had a tough time meshing our calendars. I had already postponed the shoot once to go to a meeting I had forgotten about.  Now it will be another two weeks before we can meet up.

Disappointed and discouraged, I picked up the sticks and banged away for a little while, not in the mood to do anything else.

It didn't make me any money. I couldn't cross it off of my long to-do list. But I felt better. A few rays of mental sunshine broke through the rainclouds that had somehow rolled into my head. 

It made me think of BlogHer's Life Well Lived question for this week:  How do you put yourself first? How does taking time for yourself help make you happier?

Almost every morning I take my puppies for a walk. That makes me happy, but as much as I love my walks, the joy in their faces is contagious and makes my heart soar.

In fact, most of my happiness is triggered by doing things for others. I truly believe that's the secret to happiness.

But there's a need for balance. Even Jesus took breaks from the crowds, heading off into the mountains or across the sea to be by himself. If he needed breaks, how much more so do we, to keep ourselves from becoming burned out or resentful?

Playing the drums makes me happy. Slipping off for a lunch... or a weekend... with my friends (or my husband) makes me happy. Having my hair cut by someone who knows how to cut my hair makes me happy.

That first cup of coffee in a quiet house... stepping away from the computer into the early afternoon sunshine... taking photographs of flowers and full moons... writing... reading... these all make me happy.

And that happiness is like a big deep breath, a surge of energy coursing through my body, revitalizing me, giving me what I need to help others.

What about you? How do you put yourself first? (Do you?)

And how does taking time for yourself help make you happier? 

Visit the main Life Well Lived post on BlogHer and don't forget to enter the Sweepstakes. You could win a Kindle Fire and a $50 Amazon gift certificate to go with it!

 

 

A Celestial Evening (Celeste Krenz and Harley's Angels)

Friday night, Tom and I joined 38 other sets of ears in our friends' living room to listen to Celeste Krenz, an singer/songwriter we'd never heard of before, even though her amazing voice has been singing for audiences for a couple of decades.

Her songs are unique, yet familiar somehow... her voice lyrical, soothing, and angelic... even when she's singing "If I Had a Gun"... 

And nothing beats listening to music like that in the intimacy of a home concert.

These particular friends, Bob and Lisa, have hosted several concerts in their home, including the Shake Russell concert a few years ago that inspired us to have our own (because we couldn't make it to theirs!)

Two years ago Bob and Lisa decided to add a purpose beyond entertainment to the concerts. Each artist who performed in their home signed a a Venture V3 acoustic/electric guitar that was later auctioned off. Last year it went for $2000 in a live auction at the Flight Against Breast Cancer fundraiser.

The fundraiser benefited Harley's Angels, a non-profit organization comprised of a group of "women motorcycle enthusiasts dedicated to promoting breast cancer awareness, research and education." 

Bob, a motorcycle enthusiast himself, lost his sister Karen to breast cancer a few years ago. This is his way of celebrating her life and helping to fight the disease that took her life.

The Shake Russell Trio and Michael Hearne will be the featured performers again this year at the third annual Flight Against Breast Cancer fundraiser on September 29.

Celeste Krenz kicked off this year's concert series and fundraising: a portion of her CD sales went to Harley's Angels.

Susan Gibson plays in May. I'm not sure who else Bob has lined up this year, but I'm sure he'll gather some other great musician/artists. Last year's guitar was signed by Tavana, Chuck Cannon, Klaus Oglesby, Jeff Senour, Joe McGinnity, Shake Russell, Doug Floyd, Mike Roberts and Michael Hearne.

As you can tell, Bob isn't one of those people who sits around wishing other people would do something. He just does it.

Bob holds the guitar steady while Celeste signs her name.

Celeste with representatives of Harley's Angels.

 

Celeste with hosts, Bob and Lisa.

 

I just love this pic of Bob and my sweetie! They've been friends since their Coast Guard days. 

If you're interested in learning more about the Flight Against Breast Cancer concert series and auction, let me know and I'll be sure to keep you posted on the details.

Sunsets that Kiss the Sky, Silly Things That Make Me Cry, and other sweets of the week

I'm late with my sweet!s. It feels like a whole month was stuffed into last week...highs and lows, late nights and early mornings, and miles and miles on the road. I've only been home long enough to sleep the past few days. I haven't even gone on a morning walk with my puppies since Friday!

I had to ignore Max and Belle's puppy dog eyes once again this morning so I could make it to my allergy doctor appointment on time. Somehow I missed the past two yearly check-ups. But that just means I've been asthma-free! A very good thing after a lifetime of asthma, of doctor visits and pills and shots and too many trips to the emergency room to count.

But listen to this... based on high scores on my peak flow and lung function tests ("better than average!") I don't have to see him again for another year and a half. Now that's sweet!

Keeping track of the sweet moments in each day has become a habit, hallelujah! Some days I'm better at it than others, but overall I spot them much easier and more often than I ever did before. I know there aren't more sweet!s... I'm just keeping my eyes and heart more open to recognizing them when they grace my way.

I urge you to try, too, if you're not already. It puts a lightness in my heart I would never have imagined possible.

"Even in the midst of all this pain and sadness I see something beautiful."

~ Claire Bidwell Smith

Earlier this week I admitted to a friend that I don't cry as easily as I used to. It kind of worried me, in a way, but I thought perhaps it was because I'm better able to accept the bumps, roadblocks, detours that come in life.

But then the next day Lisleman (from A Few Clowns Short) sent me a short film - he said he knew I'd like it because I'm a writer.  That's pretty sweet! by itself. 

Well, I did like the film. In fact, I loved it! So much that by the last scene I was sobbing! Happy, sad, bittersweet tears, all at the same time. It is one of the most creative, best made, sweetest films I've ever seen. I also realize I'm kind of a book addict, and that probably has a lot to do with why I love it, but I truly think it would bring at least a smile to everyone's face.

Here's the link: The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Lessmore 

If you watch it and love it, please let me know. If you don't love it, well, okay, go ahead and let me know that, too. I promise I won't hold it against you. 

Well, I promise I'll try not to hold it against you.

(P.S. Lisleman just let me know it won an Oscar last night for Best Animated Short Film. Yay!)

Friday night I attended Stations of the Cross, something I try to do at least once during Lent... step out of my busy life and really reflect on Christ's sacrifice, his Passion, the last moments of his life on earth, on the fourteen significant moments between his condemnation to his placement in the tomb. I try to consider how I can apply them to my own life. 

This year the Stations in our church were done a little differently than in past years. While our priest moved from station to station, Aaron Neville crooned "Were You There?" in between the readings. He wasn't actually in our church (I wish!) but our priest played a recording narrated by Father Jeff Bayhi with Aaron's sweet voice singing in between.

I enjoyed it so much, I searched and found this little 3-minute clip to share with you. Just one of the fourteen stations. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. 

 

 And now for a few more of my Sweet!s from the past week...

Monday: the sound of a running creek at the bend in the road; a tip on a writing gig from a friend; an afternoon hunting fossils with your husband

Tuesday: ponds filling with water; arriving in Houston just ahead of highway-clogging traffic; laughter blending with tears

 

Wednesday: supporting your friends and loved ones in times of heartbreak and grief; treasured time with your parents, sister, and cousins; talking to a rooster and a chicken in a parking lot; warm days that turn into soft evenings; reminders to not waste a single moment of your life 

Thursday: prayers answered in the way you were hoping for;  your blog chosen as one of five finalists in About.com's Favorite Friendship Blog contest; your friends voting for your blog; witnessing a sunset that kissed the entire sky

 Friday: eavesdropping on a conversation between the wind and the treetops; a "Happy Friday" email from your son; time for reflection and Aaron Neville singing "Were You There?"; movie night at home with your sweetie

Saturday: dinner and board games with friends; Siamese cats; making it home safe and sound when your car is dripping oil; a friend who wants a text letting her know you made it home safe and sound

 

 

Sunday: vineyards in winter; your husband fixing your car, bringing it out to you at work (and driving his back home); the smell of warm foccacia bread; red chili chocolate cake, especially when you're starving; the support you get from a writing critique group

What were some of your sweet! moments this past week? Please share! (If you wrote a post, you can share the link in the comments.)

Hope this week is full of sweet moments for you!

Welcoming 2012 (and other sweet!s of the week)

This first day of January has just drifted by. I haven't accomplished much of anything beyond a little after-party straightening and a walk with the puppies. Just reading about everything I did last New Year's Day makes me tired!

But I feel as if I'm drifting in a calm spot between two rapids in a river. We need days like that, don't we? Days where we just lean back in our inner tube, dangle our hands in the cold water, gaze at the sky above... where we progress so slowly, we have time to notice the details in the scenery along the shore...

Anyway...

How did you welcome 2012? Did you dress up and hit the town? Cuddle under a blanket watching the ball drop on television? Gather with friends in someone's kitchen?

Part of me loves the idea of dressing up all glittery and heading downtown with masses of people to celebrate the new year. The other part prefers to dress in jeans and spend the last bits of the old year and the first of the new surrounded by good friends in my own home, sipping red wine and cheap champagne.

That part of me is bigger and stronger than the first part, and that's why almost every year for the past 7 years, Tom and I have decided at the last minute to throw our own New Year's Eve party. (It might also be because we're never invited anywhere... but I try not to think about that!)

Yesterday my feet, aching after seven straight busy, busy hours at the Bistro, were grateful we made that decision again so they could spend part of the evening propped on the coffee table in their own living room, listening to live music, courtesy of Michael Clay and Jim Linton. They didn't even mind dancing a little.  

I didn't begin the new year eating healthy or taking time to run like I did last year, but each day is a new beginning, right? A chance to do what you neglected to do the day before. A fresh page in your book. And the story is yours to write.

That's pretty sweet.

Here are some other sweet!s...

Saturday: a road trip with all three of your kids for the first time in years; singing Christmas carols; attending Christmas Eve Mass with your babies in the church where all three were baptized, two went to preschool and one celebrated his First Communion  

Sunday: Christmas; waking in your parents' home on Christmas morning for the first time since you were 18; bacon, eggs, and biscuits with plum jam, made with love by your Daddy; your niece's peppermint cupcakes; the rain stopping for your drive home; watching old Dark Shadows episodes with your son

Monday: sleeping in; running on a country road under a brilliant blue December sky; surprising a family of Mallard ducks on a little pond (not so sweet - didn't get a photo!); finally starting your Christmas cards; watching your son cook dinner with his dad while you work at the computer

Tuesday: getting back to work on your book; clean windows; a text message letting you know your son is going to propose to the love of his life; a phone call letting you know your son proposed to the love of his life and she said YES!; your middle son packing up, preparing to move out into his own place again (bittersweet)

Wednesday: a warm jacket on a frosty morning; finally mailing your Christmas cards; an impromptu lesson from the postmaster on how to detect counterfeit bills; a paycheck waiting for you in the mailbox

Thursday: surprising the family of Mallard ducks on the little pond again - and getting a photo before they could fly away!; a donation in your tip jar; stopping in the aisles to visit with people you know at the grocery store

Friday: looking back on a busy day, feeling you accomplished a lot; a movie with your sweetie

Saturday: coming home late from work to a home all decorated for your New Year's Eve party, thanks to your daughter; welcoming the New Year with dear friends and live music in your own livingroom; two new photo shoot proposals

Sunday: starting the day with eggs, bacon and toast; a walk in the afternoon sunshine; listening to your daughter and her friend laugh about their New Year's Eve adventures

What were some of the sweetest moments of your week? Please share!

************************************

A few more sweet!s from our "Welcome 2012" party...

~ smiles and laughter ~

~ dancing ~

~ more smiles and laughter ~

Wishing tons of smiles, laughter, fun, and friendship for all of you in 2012!

 

Dancing, friendship, butterflies and the Jake Carr Band...

Tom and I ventured into enemy territory Friday night: we went dancing in College Station.

Considering we have one University of Texas graduate and one still in attendance, that's tantamount to treason around here. (College Station is the home of Texas A&M... UT's arch-rival.)

But we had a good reason to go there! We went to hear our friends' son play... he's the drummer in the Jake Carr Band, an up-and-coming country-ish musical group full of talented kids. They opened for another band (JB and the Moonshine Band) at a Bryan/College Station landmark: the Texas Hall of Fame. 

I call it a landmark because it's been there since 1978. It only took a few minutes for Tom to realize he had been there before.

"Did you come here with Debbie?"

"Yep."

Hmmm.

I know all about Debbie. Tom even called me "Debbie" once when we first started dating.

Needless to say, I made sure we got out on that dancefloor. He owed me! Plus, the Hall has one of the best dancefloors I've ever seen - I think the best since Gilley's in the days of our youth. Huge! No danger of bumping into anyone else, no matter how wild they get with their elbows and their twirling.

But back to why we were there...

The Jake Carr Band is really good. Sam Duncan, on the drums, is really, really good. Remember that name!

Plus he's so dang cute! Here he is with his beautiful Momma, Shari...

And here are some shots of the band... I bet we'll be hearing them on the radio before too long.

College Station was just the first stop on our weekend away. The true destination was our friends' place, nestled in the tall pines northwest of Houston.

Did you know that when the wind plays in those giant trees, its laughter sounds like rushing water? I had never noticed it before - perhaps it's because I miss the sound of our little waterfall so much.

That's the kind of weekend we had - slow and relaxing, where you have time to listen to the wind playing in the trees. Just the kind of weekend we needed.

We went for walks in nearby Tomball, full of great antique shops, where I was very, very tempted to buy this...

...because I've always wanted one and it was a great price.

But even a great price is too much these days, especially when I have no idea where I'd put it or what I'd do with it. That used to never stop me, but in these days when I'm dying to de-clutter, function trumps everything else.

We also took a long walk beside a nearby river, where my drought-weary eyes found colorful relief in the form of purple morning glories, clumps of red, white and yellow wildflowers, and even the butterflies I've missed so much this year, like this beauty... 

An old stable, buried under vines by the side of the road, caught our eye. We stopped to explore, not realizing until we were telling it goodbye that some of the vines were poison ivy... (Yikes! Where's the Benadryl?)

But we still used it as a "couples" photo backdrop before leaving (stepping up a few feet, of course!) 

Our sweet hosts, Robert and Shari...Thank you both for such a wonderful weekend!!

 

 

 

Every Breath is a Second Chance

Driving, daydreaming, radio playing... I'm oblivious to the music, preoccupied with my thoughts, until this line from a song breaks through their chatter:

Every breath is a second chance.

Later, I couldn't remember another single word from the song. I couldn't tell you who sang it or even what station I was listening to. Those words just echoed.

Every breath is a second chance.

They still play over and over in my mind, the truth so simple and yet so astounding. So freeing.

So full of hope.

Don't you think?

(Google informed me the line is from "Always" by Switchfoot. Thanks, Switchfoot!)

 

He Knows Me So Well (and Saturday's Week of Sweet!s)

Tom's email read "I saw this and thought of you," with a hyperlink under the message.

My heart fluttered - he thought of me while he was at work? How sweet! Tom never emails me unless it's a two-word response to something I've sent him.

I clicked the link and laughed when the page popped up describing (and showing images of) a 557-square-foot House of Shelves in Japan that can hold 10 tons of books.

Be still my heart!

Yes, Tom knows me well. I'd have shelves on every wall in our house if he'd let me.

Click HERE to see the House of Shelves and read more about it.

************************************************

My brother Donnie also knows me well - he sent me a link to something he knew I'd love to read about... a 7-year-old drummer named Jonah. Check him out! So cute! (He's 5 in this video - amazing!)

 

 

Now I'm fired up to squeeze 'playing my drums' back into my schedule somehow. They've gotten a little dusty lately. (Go to Jonah Rocks to find out more about Jonah.)

 

*********************************************

 

And now for my Sweet! Moments of the Week...

Sunday: witnessing more than a dozen teenagers receiving the sacrament of Confirmation

Monday: the contrast of cool lake water and hot sunshine on your body

Tuesday: a dusty rose dawn; finding a beautiful shirt on a clearance rack for $7!

Wednesday: a sky full of storm clouds and a few drops of rain on your dusty dry land

Thursday: a text message from your big brother telling you he's in love again

Friday: unwinding on a shady porch after work with a glass of Super Texan; watching "Where the Heart Is" with your honey (what a sweet movie!)

Saturday: Having friends drop in to support you at your new job; Sean's duck and Tom's slow-smoked beef ribs - double yum! Getting word that Shake Russell was finally recognized as "Entertainer of the Year" at the Texas Music Awards! (Congratulations, Shake!)

Hope you find plenty of Sweet! moments in this coming week. Remember...

‎"All things pass; God never changes."

~ St. Teresa of Avila

Rest in Peace, Big Man

I try not to post twice in one day, but I just heard that Clarence Clemons, saxophone player extraordinaire, died today. Complications from a stroke a week ago. And it makes me sad.

I was a latecomer to Brucie, Clarence and the E-Street Band, but once there, I was hooked. Tom and I went to a few concerts early in our marriage and then had to rely on CDs until our friends George and Karen treated us to the concert here in Austin two years ago, right around the time George and I turned 50. 

I was in heaven. Brucie hadn't seemed to age, still rocking out and dancing and sliding across the stage on 60 year old knees as well as he had on 30 year old knees. And Max on the drums... well, I wrote about that here. Let's just say I'm partial to drummers.

But it was obvious Clarence felt the effects of the years. He still sounded just as great as ever, but he sat or leaned on a stool the whole time. 

Still, news of of his stroke, and now his death, caught me by surprise and make me sad. 

Rest in peace, Big Man, and thank you for your beautiful music.

Rosalita... Remember this one, Clarence? It's the one that made me fall in love with your sax...

 

There are days...

 

Were there no fools, there would be no wise ones.

~ German Proverb

 

There are days I'm grateful for the gray skies and gathering storm clouds because a blue sky would be a slap in the face, mocking the gray I feel inside.

There are days I feel I know everything, and days I realize I am a fool and know nothing at all.

There are days when I feel like a kaleidoscope of gem-colored shards, pieced together into ever-changing, yet beautiful, intricate patterns, and days I feel like a blur of indistinct, unformed images.

There are days the earth beneath my feet feels solid and I see the path I should follow, and days when the way before me is dark and the ground seems to crumble and shift with each step.

There are days I need to stay wrapped in this melancholy cloud and just think... days my soul needs to feel the falling rain.

There are days I wonder what the point of it all is, and days I realize I don't need to know.

There are days I know I need to keep walking as long as I'm able and hope I'm heading in the right direction.

I am a flower quickly fading... here today and gone tomorrow...

~Casting Crowns

The moon, my honey and Los Lonely Boys...

Saturday night, a Texas moon smiling down on me and Tom by my side, I had one of those Aha! moments.

I realized I was finally experiencing Austin with all five senses in a way I hadn't yet in the nearly sixteen years we've lived here.

I could feel it in the just-cool-enough breeze blowing through the courtyard of Stubb's Bar-B-Q, taste it in my jalapeno brisket taco, hear it in the music of Willie Nelson's son, Lukas, and his band, Promise of the Real and then even more in Los Lonely Boys, those sons of San Angelo, see it in trees and old stone buildings bordering the courtyard and in the diversity of the other fans ... young, old, straight, gay, preppy, hippie, Austin Weird, every race and color imaginable ... and even smell it in the air, an intermittent wafting of barbecue with a hint of... is that marijuana?

Yeah, that's Austin.

Stubb's doesn't allow detachable lenses (discrimination!) and I don't own a point-and-shoot or an iPhone, so I don't have any photos from Saturday night, just these images impressed on my mind.

But here are some photos from the rest of the birthday boy's weekend...

A happy breakfast a la me and Daniel for the birthday boy

Walking with the boys, Kirby and...

...the goofy dogs.

The boys spotted this beetle (just like old times!) Anyone know what it is? 

Ping-pong!!

Cheesecake!

A birthday wish...

...and a nap.

Not bad for #54.

Shake-in' it up ... Deep in the Hollow with Shake Russell. Again!

Music is a puppeteer pulling my strings, making me laugh, cry, sing, dance. There are songs that whisk me into the past, songs that soothe my fears, songs that lift my spirits, songs that inspire me, encourage me, give me hope.

I'm just a feather blown this way and that by the melodies and words.

Saturday night I was lucky enough to have two singer/songwriter/musicians in my house who have written the kind of songs that reach into me, wrap themselves around my soul and become a part of me.

Shake Russell's songs have been a part of me since the '70's when I heard Deep in the West for the first time. He has been writing and performing for four decades ...a true musical living legend, but still alive and well and just as wonderful as ever.

Regretfully, I've only just discovered Michael Hearne, although he's been busy writing and performing those soul-stirring songs almost just as long, it seems.

There's just something extra special about listening to their music in our own home, surrounded by friends and family who feel the same way about their music. After listening to the Shake Russell Trio in the comfort of our living room last year, how could we resist doing it again? Michael joining them this year was a sweet surprise.  

And the night shall be filled with music,
And the cares that infest the day
Shall fold their tents like the Arabs
And as silently steal away.

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, The Day Is Done

 

THE Shake Russell, singing in MY living room!

Michael Hearne and Doug Floyd

Mike Roberts

Shake and Michael

Mike, Michael, Shake and Doug

Sitting on the front row, just two feet from the band, is amazing - but it limits you on photos. Thank goodness many of our guests brought their own cameras and have shared their photos with me.

One guest, Lexie, went a step further, playing around with the photos on picjoke.com (I had never even heard of it!) This is just one example, but it's my favorite...

Isn't this amazing? Thank you, Lexie!

Fall into Me

This morning I planted prayer requests in my virtual world; within moments, sweet thoughts and assurance of prayer blossomed before my eyes.

I believe prayer is powerful, and I believe the prayer and good wishes that joined my own today get a lot of the credit for my sister's surgery being so successful. Full recovery is still far down the road before her, and she'll be moving pretty slow in her walker for several months to get there, so I'm asking you to please continue to pray, send good thoughts, and whatever else you can think of to help her along this next phase of the journey.

Almost every day on the news, you can find a story about how people don't know how to really connect to one another anymore, not in a personal way, because we're too busy texting or emailing or chatting on Facebook or posting on blogs...

Well, obviously, I disagree. I feel more connected to my friends, family and the world in general than ever. Many of the responses today came from people I only know in the virtual world. So what if I've never met you in person? It doesn't make our connection any less real or sincere. It's that something inside of us that matters.

 "You don't have a Soul. You are a Soul. You have a body." ~ C.S. Lewis

One friend I've met through our shared love of photography, Debbie, sent me an email assuring me she would keep all of my requests in her prayers. She also included a link to a video, a song by Sugarland that I wasn't familiar with ... a beautiful song of reassurance and hope, a reminder to everyone on my prayer list that they aren't alone in their struggle, that someone's there to help them through and hold them up.

When I hear it, I think of Christ, but it could also relate to a best friend, a parent, or even the person behind a name on Facebook, FlickR or a blog.

Thank you, Debbie!

I'm including it below in case you want to hear it, too. This is a quick, sloppy post, but I wanted to say thank you for all of your prayers and good wishes. They truly made a difference today as I waited, watching the clock, knowing Brenda was on the operating table, wondering how she was doing. And they helped as I mourned a man I still think of as a boy, and the brother he left behind. And because I believe in prayer, I know they will help lift the fog of depression from my friend's heart. 

 

Feeling blue? Just have a little faith...

Do you know anything about Blue Monday?

Supposedly the third Monday of January is supposed to be the most depressing day of the year. I read a little blurb about it today - this is the third Monday of January, by the way - and I don't know if it was the power of suggestion, or just because it was Monday, or what exactly caused it, but I did feel a little blue today, despite the welcomed sunshine and blue-colored skies outside.

I really had no reason to feel blue, and it wasn't a deep shade by any means... "partly cloudy" is perhaps the best way to describe it.

And then this song came on the radio that, like a strong wind, blew those clouds away, lifting the blue right off my shoulders and out of my head.

I had always heard this as a love song... you know, a man-to-woman romantic love song... but today I heard it as a different kind of love song. I had never imagined God looking or sounding anything like John Hiatt, but when I listened to the words of this song (I included them down below), it was easy to believe God, as a loving father, was singing to me, reassuring me...

"Just have a little faith in me..."

(I hope your Monday was far from Blue - except for blue skies, that is.)

 

("Have a Little Faith in Me" Lyrics by John Hiatt)

When the road gets dark
And you can no longer see
Just let my love throw a spark
And have a little faith in me
And when the tears you cry
Are all you can believe
Just give these loving arms a try
And have a little faith in me 

Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me 

And when your secret heart
Cannot speak so easily
Come here darling, from a whisper start
And have a little faith in me
And when your back's against the wall
Just turn around and you, you will see
I will catch you, I will catch your fall
Just have a little faith in me 

Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me 

'Cause I've been loving you, for such a long, long time
Expecting nothing in return
Just for you to have a little faith in me
You see time, time is our friend
'Cause for us, there is no end
And all you gotta do, is have a little faith in me
I will hold you up, I will hold you up
And your love, gives me strength enough to
Have a little faith in me
Hey hey
All you gotta do for me girl
Is have a little faith in me 

(Lyrics from STLyrics)

Cool TV and other Random Thursday Thoughts

I remember when MTV first aired. (That's how old I am.)

I would just watch and watch and watch, one music video after another, mesmerized. Even when I was forced to leave the room for some reason - to eat or sleep or take a potty break, for instance- I would keep it on just to hear the music. 

When I was pregnant with my firstborn, we bought a foreclosed house and moved. We opted not to connect to cable in our new home; Tom was a returning college student, so we were down to a single income and wanted to save money where we could - we were about to become a family! And all that stuff they showed on cable - lord have mercy, we didn't want our kids watching that!

I missed those music videos, though, so you can imagine how excited I was when Tom recently discovered Cool TV! It's just like the old-time MTV, airing one music video after another, including some of the old ones we watched almost 30 years ago - except it's on network television! It's free! 

******************************

The next best thing to having your own work published or promoted is seeing your friends succeed, and this weekend I get to witness the work of my friend Amory Casto come alive on the stage of Salvage Vanguard Theater. Yay! Congratulations, Amory!

Check out the promo... and if you're in the Austin area, come see it!

Small town love isn't as simple as it should be. Charlotte is a quiet girl, who wants nothing more than to simply love and be loved by her boyfriend Gabe, a recent jailbird who wants nothing more than to walk a straight line. Charlotte soon discovers that he has returned a different man than the one she fell in love with. Heartache turns to fear when she decides one day to meet Finley, a wondering optimist in an open field.

Tickets are $12 and can be reserved online at www.hydeparktheatre.org. Once on the HPT website, click on "See full Long Fringe schedule". Scroll down the page--What You Touch is Gold is second from the bottom. Then reserve them tickets!! (All tickets must be paid for in cash/check at the box office before the show)

What You Touch Is Gold, a new play
Written & Produced by Amory Elizabeth Casto
Directed by Lindsey Sikes

Starring:
Erica Heidepriem
William Buchanan
Dane Seth Hurlburt
Megan Minto
Alexander Hilary
and Charles Devany

*****************************

My eyes are itching. Click HERE to find out why.

Damn juniper, cedar, whatever you want to call it...

*****************************

The past few mornings our walks have swung down to our pond. We've had a visitor lately and I'm trying to capture him/her with my camera. But it is just too dang sly and fast for me...

Can you see it hiding from me in the weeds? When I took this, it was in the gray of dawn and I was standing pretty far away. I could barely spot its eye through the weeds and just hoped when I snapped the shot that I was capturing something in the frame.

Here... I'll zoom in a little more for you...

About this time, Belle and Max spotted it and headed closer. The jig was up and the heron decided to scram... I started snapping and, considering I was yelling "No Belle! No Max!", and it was still dark, and I was moving and still pretty far away, these didn't turn out half bad...

Dang heron. I'll get a good photo of you yet...

***************************

If you had ten extra free hours a week, what would you do with them?

Thanks to the economy I've had to wrestle with this issue this past week (much better than having to wrestle with the issue of No Job At All, that's for sure!)

This is what I've packed into my two extra hours per day:

• slept longer
• banged on my drums
• made a little progress on my book
• caught up on laundry
• kept my desk cleaned off
• took longer walks with the puppies
• wrote a Confessions post for the first time in weeks

And that's it. But that looks like a lot to me. Right now I'm kind of enjoying that extra time and I'll try to remember this tingly feeling when I take a look at my paycheck tomorrow...

**************************

All this time I thought I had a Facebook page, and it turns out it was just some sort of Insights Page. (Why?) Anyway, now I have a Real Facebook page, so if you're on Facebook, and you're so inclined, look me up! (Long Hollow website)

******************************

I came across this video on Recommended Daily Dose and it cracked me up because I love ridiculous stuff like this. I had to share it in honor of my friend Mary Kay, even though she never reads my blog. She's a huge Josh Groban fan (he touched her hand once at a concert and she didn't wash it for a week! She's also in love with Matthew McConaughey, but that's another story...)

Happy Thursday!

 

Goodbye, weekend! I'll miss you!

The sun came out for the first time in days today. I made sure I slipped outside to feel its warmth on my skin. I've heard it's only visiting for a couple of days, then it's off again ... a gypsy sun, just popping in and out... so I didn't want to miss it!

I wish it had paid a visit this weekend. Instead, a cold misty rain hung around, which wouldn't have been bad if it had been a slow weekend close to home, one spent watching movies, reading, writing, keeping the fire going in the wood-burning stove...

But it wasn't. We had plans. Places to go. Things to do. And we didn't let that rain stop us, either, by golly!

Friday night Tom learned why I'm in love with Eddie V - and I think he might have fallen in love himself! We met my friend Tamara and her husband Rod there, just like my first rendezvous with Eddie V (it's a "where", not a "who", in case you're wondering), and again, for several hours I was in Taste Bud Heaven. The best part was getting to spend time with Tamara and Rod, though, and having Tom finally be able to enjoy their company as well.

Saturday evening we ignored the rain again and headed downtown to meet up with some of my former high school classmates and even some alumni I didn't know! Many of them traveled from the Houston area in the yucky weather for the gathering at Fado's, where lots of talking, laughing, reminiscing, eating, drinking, and listening of music ensued... specifically music by the band Mysterious Ways, a U2 tribute band, befitting an Irish Pub. 

The part for my versatile lens didn't arrive in time, so I did the best I could with my zoom... mostly photos of the band...

(I was playing around with the settings and got this one somehow - I think it's kind of creepy and cool at the same time!)

 

 

...and this one of me and my 9th grade boyfriend, Larry...

But before you get any ideas, look at this... you'll see Larry got around that night...

Sunday was my day-before-empty-nest day (see my last post), totally focused on TG... church, shopping, eating, delivering, hugging, and saying goodbye... for now. I refused to worry or stress about anything else except enjoying the time with her and helping her get a good start on the semester.

So far, I'm sticking with my resolution... what about you?

...I said hey, hey, hey, don't let another moment pass away...

 

 

Today I also thought about the impact Martin Luther King, Jr. made on our country. He was a man, just like any other... he had his faults, his sins... but that only shows that each of us is capable of more than we thought possible, too. These are some of his quotes that I call my favorites... they apply today as much as they did then.

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. 

He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it.
He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it. 

Never forget that everything Hitler did in Germany was legal. 

Means we use must be as pure as the ends we seek. 

Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend. 

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. 

Happy birthday, Elvis!

Today I have baked blueberry muffins, taken the puppies for a long walk, snapped tons of photos (and learned a little more about my camera), made a huge dent in the laundry, grocery-shopped, answered several emails and even fit in an hour-long work-out ... so why do I feel I haven't accomplished anything? It's like I've just been spinning my wheels, just taking care of the same old, same old, barely keeping my head above the water. (Okay, no more cliches. You get the idea.)

Maybe I feel that way because, although the tree is down and put away, the rest of the house is still celebrating Christmas. Stuck in December.

No wonder I feel like I haven't made any progress - I haven't!

So instead of writing the post I had planned to about Tom's surgery adventures, I'm going to re-post this one I wrote last year about Elvis because today is his birthday ...and because these decorations are starting to get on my nerves.

Hope you've had a productive Saturday! Or a relaxing one! Or a fun one! Okay, I hope your Saturday is exactly the one you wished for...

Happy birthday, Elvis!

 

Elvis was my first crush.

There. I said it.

I hesitate to broadcast it because I'm not an Elvis groupie. I've never been to Graceland and I don't have his birthday marked on my calendar...in fact, I didn't even realize he would have celebrated his 75th birthday this past week until CBS Sunday Morning featured some early Elvis photographs by Alfred Wertheimer.

Just a glance at those photographs...the dark hair, full, passionate lips and soulful eyes...(sigh...!) and I was back in the Pasadena Capitan Theater, walking down the aisle to my seat as Elvis sang the intro to "Viva Las Vegas"...staring up at him, falling in love with him and the song.

I was 5 years old.

Five or six years later, in 1970, he performed at the Houston Rodeo and Livestock Show. By sheer luck, Daddy and I scored free tickets - we were walking around the Livestock Show and someone gave us theirs...I can't remember the exact details or circumstances, but those tickets enabled me to share a moment in history with Elvis himself. Granted, we were only a few rows shy of the very top of the Astrodome - Elvis was a little doll dancing and singing far below us - but I was there! I remember seeing him...and I also remember the teenage girls squealing all around us.

I didn't feel compelled to squeal, despite my earlier crush. Maybe I was too young. Maybe I'm just not a squealer. But I think it's because Elvis wasn't Elvis to me anymore...he was already into his white jumpsuit days. His face was a little puffy and he had those sideburns...

I still loved some of his music, but he just wasn't...cool. Let's face it - he was middle-aged! No longer crush-material. I had moved on to Bobby Sherman.

I still loved some of his music, but in the Astrodome...especially near the very top...hell, all we could hear were those squealing girls!

Still, I was there! I shared that space, that bit of time with Elvis, and a wonderful memory with Daddy...but when I think of Elvis, it's not that Elvis...Elvis of the long sideburns and white jumpsuit. It's young, fun Elvis in "It Happened at the World's Fair", "Fun in Acapulco", and "Kissin' Cousins" (featuring Elvis in a blonde wig!)...it's Elvis making me want to dance, singing "Hound Dog", "Jailhouse Rock", and "Teddy Bear"...it's my passionate, sexy Elvis singing "Viva Las Vegas"...

Happy Birthday, Elvis...Let's dance!

Pink Skies, Random Thoughts

Pink clouds, pink skies have greeted my ascension to the dirt road the past two mornings ... a nice change from the woolen grays and mist that have been waiting up there for me lately.

I've noticed that a pink sky or one filled with clouds that look dipped in pink-orange paint lighten my heart and make me feel like anything at all is possible that day, and even if the day doesn't turn out quite as great as I thought it would, the memory of that sunrise gets me through it.

*********************************************

 

"The King's Speech" is an awesome movie! If I had ten thumbs, they'd all be UP! You'd think a movie about a speech therapist and his patient would be boring, but this one kept me hooked the whole time.

There are no glitches in the screenplay whatsoever - it flows so smoothly you forget it's a movie! The acting , photography, dialogue, everything ... flawless!  

Add a pre-movie dinner with dear friends, a bag of fresh movie popcorn and a few pieces of chocolate, and you've got yourself one fantastic Wednesday night!

Well, I had myself one fantastic Wednesday night, anyway...

 

*****************************************************************************

 

Hubby's having surgery for a deviated septum tomorrow morning - the result of his accident back in '98 wherein his face was split open and this amazing plastic surgeon welded his nose back together.

We're hoping the surgery helps with Tom's headaches. Please say a prayer for him.

 

***************************************************

 

Life is unfair. I already knew this, of course, but I had a fresh course in the lesson today. Briefly... a couple of years ago a dump truck slammed into my sister's car. I mean slammed, as in he wasn't paying attention and didn't see that she'd had to stop and he didn't apply any brakes at all.

Miraculously and thankfully, she wasn't hurt. But instead of checking to see if she was okay or apologizing, he immediately started trying to squirm out of the blame - his business was at risk, after all.

Well, thank goodness witnesses were around and he had to pay for the damages, etc.

His trial finally came around today, but the prosecutor (a volunteer! have you ever heard of that?) didn't present the accident report or bring up the fact that the driver's insurance had paid for my sister's car. He didn't have any evidence ready at all - he just used my sister's photographs!

To the jury it was a "he said - she said" case, so I can't really blame them for finding the guy not guilty, I guess. But shame on the driver and shame on the prosecutor. And let this be a warning to all of you in Houston that thanks to the prosecutor and the jury, this guy is still out on the road. It makes me wonder how many other cases go through the court system like this, where a volunteer prosecutor doesn't feel a case is worth the time it takes to do it right.

 

 ***********************************************************************************

 

Remember Mam-ma's piano?

It turns out my mother isn't that eager to get rid of it - she just wants it out of her livingroom, but didn't want to impose on anyone by asking us to move it back into Mam-ma's room. (deep sigh.)

So next time we're there, we're moving it. And I've asked my mom to make a list of everything else she would like done - I think I've convinced her we'd love to do whatever we can and help out however we can and it would make us happy and we won't feel imposed upon at all.

But I might have to come out with a "you never let me...!" to get my way. (It always worked when I was growing up!)

 

*****************************************************

 

Okay, what the heck is up with mascara these days? Is it just me? I have tried every brand, every type (within my budget, that is) and no matter how much they proclaim not to clump or flake, I can't find one single tube of mascara that doesn't do one or the other or both. This latest one I bought makes me look like Liza Minnelli, for goodness sake, it's so thick and clumpy, despite promises on the package to do neither. Any suggestions out there? 

 

*****************************************************************************

 

Today is my sweet friend Darla's birthday - Darla, my Secret Santa from last year, deserving star of "Late Love is from Heaven" and gracious hostess of my best birthday party ever, and I missed celebrating with her tonight because of another obligation I had to fulfill - attending a city council meeting, of all things.

Yes, instead of toasting my friend with a yummy margarita, I was sitting in a small room listening to small town politicians twist facts, but at least ultimately (thanks to an important clear-headed few and the democratic process) the vote went our way, which made me feel a teensy bit better about missing the celebration.  

And the margarita.

But just a teensy bit.

Happy birthday, Darla! I'll celebrate with you soon! (When you're over 50, it's okay to keep celebrating all year long...)

 

 ************************************

 

And now here are a couple of videos I feel the need to share. The first is "Phoenix Burn" by Alpha Rev, a group from Austin. It's just the lyrics set to music - I couldn't find a real video. Sorry! But the song has been haunting me for a few weeks - thank goodness it always lifts me up! But I love these lines: 

I wanna push through the undiscovered
Find my answers, leave them uncovered
I wanna speak out what I believe in
That love will heal us, give us our freedom
I wanna see what's on the horizon
Change directions, stop the fightin
I need to find a way of letting it go
When everything falls apart...

 

 

And this is one Tom just showed to me - it's a single dad and his daughter. Guaranteed to put a smile on your face! 

"Hey, hey, hey - don't let another moment slip away!" (Singing my New Year's Resolution)

I don't normally make resolutions - I figure if there's an improvement to make or goal to set, why not start today, right now?

But this year is different. I'm adopting a song as my New Year's Resolution, a chant for the coming year to help me get through those inevitable stormy days:  "Hey, Hey, Hey" by Michael Franti & Spearhead. 

Everytime I hear it, it lifts me up. Makes me smile. Inspires me to look forward, to believe anything is possible, to know that I can make a difference.

It reminds me that no matter how bad things get, as long as we have tomorrow, there's hope.

And I think that's a good way to head into a new year.

A friend of mine says he's calling 2011 "The Year of YES!" I like that,and it fits right in with the song.

So here are a few of my New Year's Resolutions for 2011 (borrowed from the song):

1. I'll believe that everything is possible
2. I'll live for the ones that I love
3. I'll love for the life that I live
4. I'll try to hold on
5. I will remain with you, my friend
6. No matter how life is today, I won't let another moment slip away.

Have you made any New Year's resolutions? Please share!

This will probably be my last post for 2010; tomorrow is going to be jam-packed until well after midnight. So here's my wish for the new year: I hope 2011 is good to each and every one of you!

I'm grateful for those of you who have taken the time to read my words here. I hope in some small way they've made life sweeter for you, because just knowing you're there has made life sweeter for me!

If you have the time, take a few minutes to listen to the song, if you've never heard it. The words are below. Happy New Year!

 

 

 

"Hey, Hey, Hey" by Michael Franti & Spearhead

It’s been a long time coming that I had to say
When I wake up in the morning all I do is pray
For some guidance and protection on the streets today
And an answer to the questions I ask everyday

So tell me why do the birds that used to fly here
Tell me why do they come to die here?
And all the kids that used to run here
Tell me why do they load their guns here?

I remember in the days when
We were one heart, no need to defend
I just wrap my arms around you
Don’t give up, this song is for you

Hey, hey, hey
No matter how life is today
There’s just one thing that I got to say
I won’t let another moment slip away

I say hey, hey, hey
No matter how life is today
There’s just one thing that I got to say
I won’t let another moment slip away

I hold on, I’m trying to hold on
I hold on, hold on, hold on

From the tops of the buildings to the streets below
Between the Wall Street banks and the empty homes
Between the lines of the people standing all in a row
There’s a crack in the gutter where a flower grows

Reminding me that everything is possible
Yeah, reminding me that nothing is impossible
You gotta live for the one that you love you know
You gotta love for the life that you live you know

Singing hey, hey, hey
No matter how life is today
There’s just one thing that I got to say
I won’t let another moment slip away

I’ll sing hey, hey, hey
No matter how life is today
There’s just one thing that I got to say
I won’t let another moment slip away

I hold on, I’m trying to hold on
I hold on, I’m trying to hold on

Until the morning comes again
I will remain with you my friend
And we will ride until the sun
Goes to the place where it begun
And we will live to laugh and cry another day

Don’t let nobody ever tell you that it couldn’t be done
Don’t let nobody ever tell you that we couldn’t be one
Don’t let nobody ever tell you that it shouldn’t be sung
Don’t let nobody ever tell you you’re the only one

Singing hey, hey, hey
No matter how life is today
There’s just one thing that I got to say
I won’t let another moment slip away

I say hey, hey, hey
No matter how life is today
There’s just one thing that I got to say
I won’t let another moment slip away

Whoa, oh, oh, oh, I hold on
Whoa, oh, oh, oh
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, I hold on
Whoa, oh, oh, oh

I’m just trying to hold on
Trying to hold on
Trying to hold on

I say hey, hey, hey
No matter how life is today
There’s just one thing that I got to say
I won’t let another moment slip away

I say hey, hey, hey
No matter how life is today
There’s just one thing that I got to say
I won’t let another moment slip away

I hold on, I’m trying to hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on

[Michael Franti & SpearHead- Hey Hey Hey Lyrics]

@ www.SongLyrics.com

 

The Piano

I sit in a corner of Mam-ma's bedroom in front of the piano, fingers splayed in position, tapping out the notes I'm reading from my Lesson Book.

Or my sister's - I liked her music more than mine.

The piano is an upright, with old family photos displayed on top that distract me. 

There's one of Mam-ma's four children - my mother was the baby. 

And there's one of Mam-ma at thirteen (shortly before she was married) with her best friend. I can't remember her friend's name, but I can hear the tremble in Mam-ma's voice telling me how she died soon after the photo was taken; Mam-ma learned of her friend's death in a letter.

It's hard for me to imagine my mother as a baby ... and with that dark hair, Mam-ma looks just like my mother. Big things for a kid to wrap their heads around and try to play the piano at the same time.

 

***********************************************************

 

I'm draped on the couch, watching television. Probably eating a Fudge-sicle. Mam-ma's warbly voice drifts out to me from her bedroom, dancing with the notes she coaxes from her piano with aged fingers...

...I come to the garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses...

Music I've grown up with. Part of the soundtrack of my life.

Blessed Assurance ... The Old Rugged Cross ... Rock of Ages ... What a Friend We Have in Jesus ...

I get up and close her bedroom door so I can hear the television.

*********************************************************

 

But I can still hear her voice; it drifts to me even now where I sit tapping away at my computer, hundreds of miles from the piano, and seventeen years or so from her last day on earth.

I can see her sitting at the piano, fingers playing across the keys, hear her voice filling the house with melody, one hymn after another, just as she did all the days of my youth and more ... day after day, year after year.

...And he walks with me and he talks with me and he tells me I am his own ...

That's why I've wanted that piano. I wanted my kids to grow up with its song in their ears, just as I did. Wanted them to take lessons, just like I did and sit before it, plunking out the boring songs from my latest lesson, or play around on it with Chopsticks and other fun tunes, just like I did.

But time is so slippery. Somehow my kids grew up and out before I could make the piano a part of our family. 

Why didn't we move it sooner? I'm sure we had good reasons, but the exact ones evade me now.

Perhaps I didn't want to rush my mother. It's tough parting with things that belonged to loved ones, and Mam-ma's death hit her pretty hard. Nothing budged from Mam-ma's room for years.

More likely I was too focused on building this home and getting out of our tiny rent house - a process that took ten years - to worry about the piano. 

I didn't realize my mom was ready to part with it until recently. It takes up a lot of space, after all, and she's ready to have her living room back. The piano was moved there after Tropical Storm Alicia flooded the house and the wood floors needed to be redone. It was just too much work to move the piano back into Mam-ma's room.

I've begged my mom for time, racking my brain trying to figure out how to get the piano up here, making one promise ("Soon! Soon!") after another.

But we traded Tom's truck for my new car ($4900 for a truck we only paid $2500 for to begin with - we couldn't pass up that deal!) and even if we found a way to transport the piano without destroying it, there's the matter of getting it into the house. Our driveway leading to the back door is nothing more than an eroded dry creek bed right now, full of deep ruts. It would challenge a 4-wheel drive monster truck! We (as in Tom) have gathered rocks to pave it, but who knows how long it will be before it's vehicle-worthy.

This past weekend I had a grown-up moment: I realized how selfish and silly it is for me to ask my mom to hold on to the piano any longer. I don't need it; it's too late for my kids to grow up with it, and whatever I learned from my lessons flew away from my brain long ago.

I believe Mam-ma learned to play in her fifties (that's when she got the piano), but I'm not about to take more lessons now; I'd rather play my drums.

More than all of that, I realized I don't need it to keep memories of Mam-ma alive. She's singing to me right now, in my heart, without the piano.

So I'm going to tell my mom it's okay to get rid of it. It's time for me to let this dream go - or to realize it has already left. A much better tribute to Mam-ma's music will be to let it go where it will be played again, rather than be a museum piece, gathering dust.

... And the melody that He gave to me

 within my heart is ringing.

 

Amen.

Rocking in the Hangar - a Christmas tradition

I didn't see my camera hit the concrete; it all happened way too fast...the oh-crap look on Tom's face, the metallic clunk that made me wince. By the time my eyes caught up to it, it already lay still and naked on the hangar floor, staring up at me, the lens skidding several feet away.

Tom had been holding it for me, the strap hooked over one shoulder. Somehow, in the process of goodbye hugs and handshakes with friends who were leaving the party early, the strap slipped off and he couldn't catch it in time.

I think that's what happened anyway. Tom was so upset about it, I didn't ask many questions. I was just relieved that the only damage is a small nick in the lens body, possibly a super glue fix. The camera itself is fine and I was just grateful I was using my basic lens, not my more expensive zoom lens.

If the lens can't be fixed...oh, well. 

No, I'm serious! I just wasn't that upset about it. It surprised me - if you read my blog much, you know I love that camera and I'm obsessed with taking photos - but it's just a thing. It took me a few minutes to convince Tom to quit worrying about it and just enjoy the evening.

Because we were at the annual Vernon Hangar Christmas party, listening to an awesome band and much too busy talking, eating, drinking, dancing, and laughing. No room for worrying about a thing, even if the thing was my camera.

Tommy's sweet girlfriend Kirby offered to let me borrow her Canon Rebel; I took her up on it for a few shots (one of her with her grandmother and one with her aunt), but then I was happy to just let her be in charge of snapping the memories. I know she'll share.

Tall propane heaters chased the chill from the hangar where the band, Soulution, mesmerized us with their musical talent and got us dancing...also good for chasing the chill away.

Besides the music from the band, we were also entertained by the Vernon's daughter Sierra singing everything from Lady Gaga to Christmas carols, and eventually even Kirby gave in to her uncles' and aunts' pleading (she's the Vernon's niece) and performed for us. Oh, my gosh, she has an amazing voice! Too much talent for one family - not fair! 

Perhaps it was because those two had the gumption to sing in front of the crowd, I'm not sure, but guess what? I made my public debut on the drums!

I was terrible, I know, but the point is, I actually played in front of People! They all told me how good I was, but I think it's only because I wasn't as terrible as they expected me to be. Even Tom said he was impressed (I've never even played in front of him!)

The drummer had let two others take turns on his drums, and I just couldn't resist taking a turn myself. I sat down, picked up the sticks and banged away. Such a sense of freedom and fun! I just kept drumming and drumming and drumming and they had to come and pry the sticks out of my hands and pull me away!

No, not really, but I did take a much longer turn than the others, I think; I finally came out of the spell and released the sticks of my own volition. The drummer questioned me about my drumming experience and offered me some tips. Yeah, that's right...I was talking "drums" with a real live professional drummer.

The night flew by. Before we knew it, it was 3 a.m. Clocks always seem to spin faster when you're having fun, don't they?

Thanks again to the Vernons for hosting another wonderful, rocking Christmas Celebration in the Hangar!

And now here are some of the highlights I captured before the camera catastrophe...

Hostess Rachel - this woman knows how to throw a party!

Me and my friend Kim - I haven't seen her in well over a year. Maybe two! She slipped off to the other side of the lake and got married. It was so good getting to see her again and finally meet her husband!

Tommy and Kirby in the best seats in the house...an OV-1 Mohawk.

Soulution! 

(Heads up to those of you in the Austin area - this band really, truly rocks! You can find them at Cedar Street, Maggie Mae's and other spots, playing both covers and original work. We listened to their CD today, all original music - I love it! I have a feeling Tom and I will be going to see them again soon.) 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A little of this, a little of that...

...makes a great pot of chili!

A cold front dropped in for a visit this weekend and has decided to stick around for a few days, so Tom and I took advantage of it tonight and made our first pot of Winter 2010 Chili.

We made a great team - he browned the meat and chopped onions...I added the tomatoes and seasonings and came back periodically for tastings (and adjustments) while he kept an eye on it. He knows I'm not good at the "keeping an eye on it" stage - I get distracted by too many other things, like laundry, loading the dishwasher, cleaning off my desk, decorating the tree (as you can see, the only common theme on my tree is sappy sentimentality...)

We made way too much chili for just the two of us, and we'll be sick of it by the time we finish it all, but, man oh man, it hit the spot tonight!

A little of this and a little of that makes great chili...and also a great weekend!

We started off right, with friends, music under the stars, and a bonfire. Hootenanny!

We have fun even if it's just a handful of us out there, but Friday night there was a real crowd - so many talented musicians playing all kinds of music, and enough others in the audience that Tom and I didn't feel alone. Thanks again to Jim and Liane for hosting this every week.

Saturday Tom and I took advantage of a day at home to scratch things off of our dusty to-do lists...but we threw in a walk with the dogs and a game of ping-pong (I won!), and a movie, because, after all, it was Saturday!

Sunday after Mass I needed to run into town to the bank...to the grocery store...to Goodwill to drop off boxes I've been moving from room to room for months... Normally I would procrastinate, but I knew if I didn't just go, I'd end up having to go late one night this week (NO!) or I'd be late to the infamous St. Mary's Adult Christmas Party, where we get to visit with friends, and enjoy Rudy's Barbecue (sigh), complementary "adult" beverages, and a dance floor almost all to ourselves... 

When was the last time you did the Hokey-Pokey?

I've known Mary, on the left, for years, but I just discovered that in a previous life she interviewed Lucille Ball, Frank Sinatra, and other celebrities while working at a radio station years ago in California. People are full of surprises (and I love that about people!)

 

My friend Karen didn't realize when I encouraged her to come to the dance even though her husband was out of town that I had ulterior motives...getting her to fill in on dancing with me when Tom pooped out. I think this was taken right after her first "chicken dance".

We never get to spend time with these two anymore...Tom D. helped us build our house (we couldn't have done it without him!) and I loved subbing for Berniece's English and theater classes in my other life...she is an amazing teacher!

And this couple is proof that you should never give up on love popping up where you least expect it (and they're also the best dancers, although I couldn't catch a good one of him flipping her.) 

A little of this, a little of that...works with chili and weekends!

 

 

 

Separation Anxiety

Who's going to cook me dinner?

Tom just looked at me and smiled.

Are you going to cook up some casseroles, label them with the days of the week and freeze them for me?

He laughed.
I think he thought I was joking.

Well, sure...I was...a little bit... 

He's off, away on his own for a few days, as of yesterday morning, visiting his parents, his brother, and his brother's family. If I could afford to take a few days off from work, I'd be with him. We haven't seen his parents since last Thanksgiving! How did this year slip by us so fast?

I stayed so busy yesterday, though, it didn't fully hit me he was gone until I came home from dinner out with friends to this empty house. And it wasn't just because I had to feed the dogs! (Normally, he has night duty.)  

After rushing through my morning chores, I spent a few hours in a movie theater with 2/3 of my kids - a noon showing of the latest Harry Potter movie - munching popcorn and trying to remember the storyline of the book it's based upon. It's been years since I read it. I got totally hooked with the first book; Daniel won a drawing at his school's book fair and he picked it as his prize, based on the cover. 

I read a chapter of it to these 2/3's every evening...and couldn't wait for the next one. By the second or third book in the series, my kids were too impatient...couldn't wait until evening for me to read...couldn't take just a chapter at a time. They took turns devouring the book in one, maybe two days. 

I'm pretty sure that was the end of our nightly readings. Sigh. Dang you, Harry and J.K. Rowling.

But thank you, too, for that magical world, wonderful characters, and makes-me-so-jealous writing.

I'm not sure why we even go to see the movies. It doesn't matter how well made they are - they just can't and don't come close to the experience of reading the books, and we usually end up annoying all of the patrons around us with our whispered commentary. 

Yes, I'll warn you next time we go so you don't have to listen to us. 

After delivering the 2/3's back to campus (discussing the movie the whole way, and ultimately deciding we need to produce our own) I headed to the bank, the grocery store, home again...unloaded groceries, patted dogs, changed clothes, and jumped back in the car to meet friends for dinner at Steiner Ranch Steakhouse. 

I let Tom take my camera with him to Florida...a tough decision, let me tell you. (I think it even surprised him! But I reasoned that he would be seeing his parents - I would be seeing autumn leaves, colorful weeds and wrestling dogs. It was really a no-brainer and I'm ashamed I even had to think about it.)

So, I couldn't take any photos last night of our group! But I can describe it to you...

Six of us sat outside at a rectangular table, enjoying steak, shrimp, elk, yummy rolls, sauteed mushrooms and more. I sat between Rod and Tamara, and across from us were Robert, Roy and Darla. (That's when I first really felt Tom's absence!)  A nice breeze blew in from the lake...it bordered on being too cool without a jacket, but overhead heaters cycled on and off, keeping the chill away. 

Above us the shy full moon hid behind gauzy clouds.

And if that wasn't enough for a beautiful evening, just a few feet away, Drew Womack sang to us - he's another one of those musician, singer-songwriters oozing with talent that has stepped over the edge of stardom once or twice, but not as far as I think he should go, and I don't understand why.

He has an amazing voice... click HERE to hear for yourself, and check out the video down below that I found of him singing at Steiner Ranch Steakhouse back in January. He's much better in person, of course, but it gives you idea of his talent.

Thank you, friends, for a wonderful Saturday night. It would have been a long, lonely evening here at the house without Tom...eating a sandwich, listening to CD's, typing away at the computer.

Um, by the way, what are y'all doing tonight?

 

 

Dona Nobis Pacem

(Click the image to learn about Blog Blast for Peace)

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27

"Peace is not something you wish for; It's something you make, Something you do, Something you are, And something you give away."

~Robert Fulghum

"Peace is costly but it is worth the expense."

~African proverb

"Lead me from death to life, from falsehood to truth; Lead me from despair to hope, from fear to trust; Lead me from hate to love, from war to peace; Let peace fill our hearts, our world, our universe."

~Satish Kumar

Each Sunday at Mass, we turn to our neighbors, shake their hands, and say

"Peace be with you."

Immediately I feel a wave of energy; I imagine it flowing out into the world,

a positive force blasting away negative. 

Just as I join hands with my neighbors on Sundays,

today I am joining bloggers across the globe.

to speak on one subject

in one voice

for one day.

Peace.

Dona Nobis Pacem.

(Grant us Peace.)

 

Now I've been crying lately, thinking about the world as it is
Why must we go on hating, why can't we live in bliss?

~ Cat Stevens, Peace Train 

"We are not at peace with others because we are not at peace with ourselves, and we are not at peace with ourselves because we are not at peace with God."

~Thomas Merton

"If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there'd be peace."

~John Lennon

There are so, so many quotes about Peace...and all of them ring true. So many voices sounding off for Peace, from all religions and philosophies, all around the globe...yet wars still rage around the world...Why?

Maybe it's because I grew up watching the Viet Nam War played out on television and in movies...watching the protests...watching my brother go off to fight...twice...keeping track of his whereabouts with pushpins on a map of Viet Nam posted on our hallway wall...

...or maybe it's because I worked with veterans of the war, both American and South Vietnamese...listened to their stories of living in a war-torn country, leaving their homeland, chased out by the Communists...

...or maybe it's because of my fascination with Civil War and World War II histories... or because I had relatives and ancestors who fought in them...

...whatever the reason, my voice might be different than many of the other bloggers blasting for peace today, because unlike some people, I believe war is sometimes necessary, because it takes two sides to have peace, and let's face it, there are some countries, some leaders, who are too power-hungry or prejudiced or full of hate to agree to peace, if it means giving up power or control or hatred...

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace"

~Jimi Hendrix

Even so I believe it's wrong to quit striving for peace, to keep trying and believing peace is possible. To try anything and everything before going to war, short of giving in to tyranny and giving up freedom. 

"Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek, but a means by which we arrive at that goal."

~Martin Luther King, Jr.

In writing my great-great grandfather's story, based on his memoir, I'm trying to be a voice for peace. He shares his experiences of a violent life before, during, and after the Civil War, but woven within the story is a longing for peace and a warning to the young. My challenge is to make sure that message is heard.

Will you help spread the word?

"If you wish to experience peace, provide peace for another."

~Tenzin Gyatso

"If war is ever lawful, then peace is sometimes sinful."

~C.S. Lewis

"The more you sweat in peacetime, the less you bleed during war."

~Chinese proverb

"Peace is not only better than war, but infinitely more arduous."

~George Bernard Shaw

"If we are to teach real peace in this world, and if we are to carry on a real war against war, we shall have to begin with the children."

~Mahatma Gandhi

"Let us forgive each other - only then will we live in peace."

~Leo Nikolaevich Toystoy

'Cause out on the edge of darkness, there rides a peace train
Oh peace train take this country, come take me home again.

Now I've been smiling lately, thinking about the good things to come
And I believe it could be, something good has begun...

(This is a beautiful version of one of my favorite songs...but if you want old style Cat Stevens, click HERE for a version from 1976.)

September...

I heard Daughtry sing his new song "September" today. I've heard it before, but it wasn't until the words drifted through my head this morning that I realized it could be a theme song for this Fifty decade I'm traveling through.

"How the time passed away..."

It's depressing to think about, and kind of hard to even imagine it right now, but I'm in the September of my life! Up until now I've thought about it as a halfway mark, and it is, but it's also the beginning of the third season. The Autumn of my life. Wow. 

Spring - my gosh, it seemed to last forever, didn't it? When I was little, time seemed to stand still. Minutes were full, plump, juicy. I could linger over them, take my time, taste every little morsel. I can close my eyes and still taste them.

Summer - life picked up speed. That's when my juggling act began... work, husband, kids, the laundry, bills... an endless list (that somehow still continues!) I set myself and my dreams up on a shelf. Time for those later; my little ones need me right now.

I wasn't aware of seasons back then. One day ran into another, weeks turned into years turned into gray hairs and wrinkles. But two or three years ago, I felt it - something different in the air, a shift in the wind. A restlessness inside me.

"Of all the things I still remember
Summer's never looked the same
The years go by and time just seems to fly
But the memories remain..."

Remember when you were little and the thought of the new school year excited you a little, even though summer vacation was ending? That's the feeling I had about my approaching 50th birthday. And even though that day has come and gone, and I'm looking ahead to my 52nd, I still feel the same way. I love this 50 decade!

"The days are so long that summer's moving on
We reach for something that's already gone..."

It's a reflective time, for sure, but magical in a way. A time to dig out memories and sort through regrets, tossing those that serve no purpose, but re-filing those that have no expiration date into the "To Do" pile (Drop out of college? Go back now!) While you're at it, take Yourself and your Dreams down from that shelf and dust them off.

One of those dreams of mine is writing. It has bounced on and off that shelf so many times that it has a few knicks in it now, but it's still in one piece and worth holding on to, I think.

"In the middle of September we'd still play out in the rain.
 Nothing to lose, everything to gain..."

So I'm writing a book. Not the first book I've written, but the one I want to see through to the very end first. (The characters in my first book are used to me coming and going into their story. They're waiting patiently for me to get back to them.)

And I'm blogging, sharing my thoughts, experiences and whatever else comes to mind with who ever cares to read it. Writing a book is solitary; blogging is more social, but I sometimes wonder when I write a post if anyone will read it and I hope that they'll take the time to share their thoughts about it with me.

Today, thanks to BlogHer, all of this... the seasons, the reflections, the writing, the subsequent reactions from others... all of it came together for me when they syndicated one of my posts, "To the Young Mom on Aisle 7" on their site. (Click here to read it and BlogHer.com and here to read the original post.)

I was surprised at how many comments it garnered - and even more surprised by some of the reactions it triggered in others. Some readers accused me of judging the mom. Huh?

It made me wonder if my writing wasn't clear enough if they'd gotten that impression, but then others obviously understood it was merely a reflective piece, that seeing the mom in the grocery store had sent me spinning back in time to the days I had three little ones tagging along everywhere I went, when I always seemed to be in a hurry, always had so much to do, that I sometimes overlooked the most important "to-do's" that were standing right in front of me, tugging on my shirt and saying Mama. 

I have no idea if this mom was guilty of that or not. I know that I was at times, way back when... heck, I still am (just ask my kids!), and seeing her reminded me of that and made me wish for some do-over's.

"Reflecting now on how things could've been... "

Alas, we don't get do-overs. But if we're lucky, we get another day to just do the best we can. 

"Now it all seems so clear, there's nothing left to fear."

Meet the Walburg Boys (and a Saturday To-Do List)

Tom and I hit the highway last night to experience a Central Texas gem we had no idea even existed until now - the Walburg Restaurant and Biergarten. I was kicking myself (in between dances) that we'd never been before.

Tom danced with me, but while those fast polkas start my toes tapping, he became immune to their allure a long time ago.

WANTED: POLKA DANCER  No specific requirements except
the ability to twirl me around a dance floor when a polka
beat is too fast for my husband.

Pulling into Walburg is like a going back in time 100 years - you round a curve onto a main street lined by a few old storefronts and Victorian homes with glimpses of farmland in all directions.We've only just discovered it now thanks to TG's former high school band director, Les, and our friends, Joe and Mary Kay.

Les is now a Walburg Boy, playing gigs on the weekend after working all week as a high school band director in Austin. It's a return to his roots, in a way: in a previous life, he was a member of two other Austin bands, The Debonaires and Lonesome Dove. Two of the current Walburg Boys were also in Lonesome Dove, and that's how Les came to join them. Ron, the leader of the Boys and owner of the biergarten and restaurant, was a national yodeling champion years ago in Germany.

The music, a wonderful, eclectic mix of German polkas and Texas rock/country favorites, wafts out of a large Oktoberfest-type tent (featuring a slide-smooth concrete dance floor) into the old oaks and rolling countryside. We didn't eat at the restaurant; you can order food and drinks at a take-out window in the biergarten itself, everything from hamburgers to wiener schnitzel and so many different types of beer that I wished I still liked the stuff! Tom and I shared some wiener schnitzel, potato salad (that was to-die-for!) and purple cabbage that even Tom (a non-vegetable-eater) agreed was good.

I had big to-do plans for this weekend, but number 1 on my list was sleeping eight hours. I scratched that off, but since we were out late last night dancing to the Walburg Boys' music, it meant I didn't get an early start on the rest of my to-do's. Here's the status of my list:

My Weekend To-Do List

1. get caught up on laundry
2. work out (I'm trying to fit 5 in a week; Thursday we had a visit from an environmental inspector - I didn't mind skipping that day even though it meant I had to make up for it today.)
3. write 1000 words on my book (I'm determined to get back on track with this!)
4. compose blogs and figure out a way to make money from them (I've always told my kids to do what they love and they'll find a way to make a living at it. It's time to match my actions with my words. You know how kids are - they do what you do, not what you tell them, right?)
5. go to the grocery store (except for quick stops at our tiny local store, I haven't been in about 3 weeks!)
6. change the refrigerator water filter (it's only a few weeks overdue)
7. organize my property issue notes and collect my photos into one file
8. put flea and tick treatment on the dogs (just a little overdue)
9. send out an email about my new business venture
10. upload all of my photos from my Diva weekend to Facebook so my friends can see them
11. send a query to Texas Monthly magazine about an idea I have for an article
12. clean off my desk and pay bills (I swear the paperwork is breeding over there!)
13. clean house. Or at least something in the house, like a mirror or toilet.

You can see I haven't accomplished even half of my list yet!

So what have I been doing today, instead of taking care of the uncrossed-out items above?

1. made blueberry muffins
2. took a walk with Tom and the dogs
3. called each one of my kids AND my mom
4. checked my email and answered a few
5. played with some photos
6. danced (Tom has music streaming from his computer through the house speakers)
7. checked out some photography blogs, including this one that is just amazing: Rayel Photography (check out the vacation video)
8. stayed glued to the television while the Pearland, Texas Little League team played Hawaii 
9. checked up on my Facebook friends (while I watched the game - multitasking!)

If you haven't heard, the Texas boys lost. I know their broken hearts and disappointment blind them to how awesome it is that they made it as far as they did! But it's something they'll remember with pride in a few years, I'm sure.

So somehow Saturday is almost gone! I'm thinking it's time to hang up the list for the day and head to the back deck to enjoy the sunset, then watch a movie with my sweetie. There's still tomorrow... (thank the Lord for Sundays and early Mass!)

Scenes from Walburg...

 

No Time-Squandering here, Ben

Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that's the stuff life is made of.

~Benjamin Franklin

I don't think I'm guilty of time-squandering. Even with my tennis shoes on, Time is outrunning me these days. Another weekend has snuck up on me and I haven't really mentioned the last one. Maybe I just haven't recovered from it yet!

But I captured a few moments of it in my camera. I think I'll multi-task and post them here as my Friday Favorites of the Week.

Friday night, before heading out to dinner, we posed for pictures. I was determined to get Tom to smile...

After dinner (too late for Eddie V's happy hour, so we went to Olive Garden. Still yummy!) we were in the mood for music, so we headed to our friends Jim and Liane's Hootenanny ... it was hot but the music was awesome, and we celebrated Jim's birthday...

(for more Hootenanny photos, click here.)

Saturday we had a surprise call from Jennett, a good friend we haven't talked to in ages and haven't seen in even more. We're determined to change that before the end of the year. Jennett and Keith were Tom's neighbors when we first met, practically family for years. How do we let Time get away from us like this?

That evening we met several longtime, newly reconnected friends for dinner at Gwen's house... delicious spaghetti, salad, cheesecake, and a new game she taught us - "Chubby Bunny". For some reason, I've lost my taste for marshmallows...

Sunday afternoon, the Girl and I packed my little car full of her belongings and headed to campus. It was move-in time again. Man, this summer went by fast!

On the way, we stopped at a CVS Pharmacy so she could print out some pictures. Little did we know, while we were toodling around with the photo machine, a car-jacker went into action in the parking lot! When we stepped outside, we faced something straight out of a cop show - the suspect getting frisked, police running around, their cars and a fire truck filling the lot, reporters asking me questions. Very exciting! I had her take pictures as we pulled away so we'd remember...

Yeah, I know... you don't really see anything, but that's the wonderful thing about photographs - they trigger floods of memories. You might not see what was going on here, but one look at these, and I see it clearly.

(No moving-in photos. A promise is a promise.)

It was after midnight before we got to bed that night. We had a visit from another longtime friend, Lisa, who had attended a wedding with her friend Cheryl at a place just down the road. We insisted she stay with us afterward and so we stayed up yakking. It was well worth it, though. I wish we'd had more time - I always enjoy spending time with Lisa, but I enjoyed meeting Cheryl, too. She's older than me (I won't say how much) but just spent a week camping in the Grand Canyon - something I would love to do and now I think I still could! She also had a photograph published by National Geographic several years ago, so I got to talk photography for a little while.

No pictures of them, though. I didn't even think about it - that tells you how wiped out I was by then!

This weekend will start a little later than the last one did - tonight we're just hanging out at home, about to watch a movie, pay some bills, catch up on laundry... but it promises to be just as full of friendship and memories, starting tomorrow. You might have to wait until next Friday to hear about it, though. I'll try to sprint a little faster and catch up with Time.

At any rate, I hope you have a fabulous weekend, whether you squander time or not!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Roy and The River

I don’t want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.

DIANE ACKERMAN
American writer and naturalist, present day

 

 

Remember that Garth Brooks song, "The River"? It popped into my head this morning and is still playing in the background - the soundtrack for my Wednesday.

 

I think it's because I lost a classmate earlier this week. I'm thinking about death even as I scramble to stay on top of the crazy, hectic whirlwind days I've had lately, days filled with the issues of living - kids, finances, neighbors.

Roy had survived cancer only to succumb to a different illness that is still baffling the doctors, from what I've gathered. His death - or at least his death at this time in his life - was unexpected.

 

I confess I didn't know Roy in high school, except by name. We became friends on Facebook, sharing bits of each other's lives. This is what I do know about Roy - he was a Christian, and although he wasn't afraid of death, he loved his life, loved his wife, kids and grandkids and wasn't in a hurry to leave them. He didn't let his struggles dampen his joy - he felt he had been blessed ten times over.

This past weekend Tom and I enjoyed dinner at my friend Gwen's house, joined by several other friends... friends I went to high school with but didn't really get to know until afterward, some just in the past few years.

 

Before eating, we joined hands and Larry said a blessing, including a prayer for Tom's back. While we stood there, hand in hand, it struck me how amazing it was, how wonderfully blessed I am, to be joined in such a way with these people, after all these years. It made me think of the connections I've made on Facebook, like so many hands reaching out and grasping mine, connecting to me through the Internet, offering me strength, hope, inspiration and friendship.

 

What happens when a Facebook friend dies? Roy's profile page is filled with messages...reaching out, offering strength, hope, inspiration and friendship to his family.

 

Many of the messages mention Roy's faith, his love for his family, his laughter and craziness, how he made the world a better place, how much he will be missed, his courage during his illness, how he fought for his principles and the ones he loved, how gentle, compassionate and kind he was.

 

One of the days ahead of me will be my last. I'm sure of that. Until then, I'll try to be like Roy and live every day wide and full, hoping that memories of me will include words like faith, laughter, craziness, courage, principles, gentle, compassionate and kind.

And on days like these I've had lately, when trying to find time to work on my book around all of my other responsibilities and setbacks and self-imposed goals and celebrations is a continual challenge, I'll imagine Garth and Roy standing on the bank of this river I'm gliding down, cheering me on, reminding me to paddle every now and then rather than just drift along and risk getting tangled up in the brush lining the shore.

 

You know a dream is like a river
Ever changin' as it flows
And a dreamer's just a vessel
That must follow where it goes
Trying to learn from what's behind you
And never knowing what's in store
Makes each day a constant battle
Just to stay between the shores...and

I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry

Too many times we stand aside
And let the waters slip away
'Til what we put off 'til tomorrow
Has now become today
So don't you sit upon the shoreline
And say you're satisfied
Choose to chance the rapids
And dare to dance the tide...yes

I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry

There's bound to be rough waters
And I know I'll take some falls
But with the good Lord as my captain
I can make it through them all...yes

I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry

Yes, I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
'Til the river runs dry

 

Rest in peace, Roy.

 

photo from his Facebook page

 

Drew Womack, friends, a hill above the lake = a perfect Texas night

By the time slow-poke Friday knocks on our door, Tom and I are usually worn out from entertaining the other demanding, high-maintenance days of the week; we can muster enough energy to snuggle downstairs watching a movie, but that's about it. We don't have enough brain left to make plans (besides, we're procrastinators, remember?)

Thank goodness for our friends who do make plans and invite us to join them. That's how we came to be at Steiner Ranch Steakhouse last night, sitting on a hill overlooking Lake Travis at sunset, relishing the breeze that took the bite out of the Texas sunshine, sipping Pinot Grigio and a Shiner Bock, respectively, catching up with great friends, listening (and dancing) to Drew Womack singing cover songs and originals in his not-quite-country beautiful voice.

Isn't there a saying about not recognizing the treasure or beauty that's closest to you? If there's not, there should be. I've been hearing people in our little town talk about Drew for years (he lives here)... about what a great singer-songwriter he is, how talented, how he'd won awards in Nashville. 

I'd never heard of him, and Tom and I never bothered to go see him, although I did end up on a committee with him, briefly. He seemed like a sweet guy. It was only by accident that I found out everything we'd heard about his musical talents was true - he played at Steiner Ranch Steakhouse after my friend Darla's wedding. It had already been a long day, so Tom and I only lingered for a couple of songs, but I left reluctantly. Drew's music goes hand-in-hand with sitting up on that hill above the lake, watching the sunset.

I admit we didn't go to Steiner Ranch last night to see him, though - we didn't even realize he would be playing there when we planned it. It had just been too long since we'd gotten together with these friends, including the newlyweds, Darla and Roy (see the link to their wedding above.) 

Discovering Drew was playing just tipped the night's rating from "great" to "perfect". Tom and I were the last ones in our group to leave - we don't get out much, but when we do, we don't want it to end.

Scenes from the perfect Texas night... the girls, our table, Drew and the lake, sunset, night scene by Tom, Drew's teen groupies...

     

Carry On, My Dirty White, Blue Collar Son

There's nothing like a rock concert to make you feel eighteen again... the music pounds so hard it chips away the years. You can't remember if you turned off the coffee pot, but lyrics long-buried in the rubble of your brain flow out of your mouth - the soundtrack to scenes of your life, years past.

But there's also nothing like watching a middle-aged man rocking out in front of you, long gray hair perfectly blow-dried and curled under, to remind you you're not really eighteen... you're over 50, and if your kids saw you dancing like this they'd be horrified. But you dance anyway.

That was how I spent last Saturday night: in late 70's rock-and-roll heaven, listening to the music of Kansas, Foreigner and Styx in the Cynthia Woods Pavilion, standing as close to the stage as you can get without being in the "sweat zone" (as in, the sweat of the performers on stage) thanks to my sweet friends Shari and Robert. Well, mostly thanks to Shari - she's the one with connections thanks to her weekend job. 

But Robert drove us there and back, shared the great pictures he snapped with his phone (I left my camera behind - originally we had seats "on the hill", exposed to the storm clouds, and I didn't want to take a chance getting it wet) and the next day pitched in on our pancake breakfast before we headed out to flea markets, so I owe him a big thank-you, too.

At the concert, we even reconnected with Doug and Cheryl, friends we haven't seen since high school - well, in my case, junior high! I'm not sure if that made me feel young or old...

I am sure about this, though - we might not be eighteen anymore, but we still know how to rock a weekend!

(photos courtesy of Robert and Cheryl)

 
 


   

Loose Ends, Apologies and Clarifications

I owe my kids an apology. I implied in XOXO Nina Barbara that they were slackers in the Mother's Day department. I didn't intend to, but nonetheless, reading back over it now, I understand why my sweet Tommy slipped a pressed flower into the card he sent me with a note explaining "I couldn't let Nicole out-do me, so here's a flower."

It's a pretty little flower, but the gesture was totally unnecessary; he, Daniel and the Girl chipped in for something I've been yearning for ... another pair of Chaco sandals. I splurged on a pair in Gruene two years ago (our anniversary served as the excuse that time) and have practically worn them out. Chaco Flips don't look like anything special, but they fit and support these old aching feet of mine perfectly ... and match my wardrobe! If you have plantar fasciitis, you need to try a pair. Trust me.

Thank you, sweet kids!

I also felt, after writing yesterday's post  about the hospital time warp, that I should mention all of the wonderful caretakers we met there ... the nurse who scrounged up a pair of scrubs pants to make my dear one more comfortable ... the emergency room doctor who thought outside the box when test results weren't fitting together ... the admitting surgeon who did all he could to avoid surgery, covered all the bases and seemed reluctant to let us go without knowing for sure what it was ... the "mother nurse" who came by to visit, to answer questions and put my dear one at ease about the potential surgery and ended up inspiring both of us with her story: she suffered a stroke several years ago - wasn't supposed to even be able to walk again - and decided life was too short to not go after a passion. She took a class in making jewelry and started a business.  Scrambling for a name for her new business, the perfect one hit her: MySCAL (My Second Chance at Life). She wore an example - a beautiful fused glass pin. 

Some other loose ends ...

*At the Texas Music Awards in Marshall last weekend the Shake Russell Trio won Vocal Group of the Year. I still believe Shake should have also won Entertainer of the Year, but I'm happy the group was at least recognized. Click here to see all of the recipients.

*My sister sent me this link about Guinea Fowl after my last post about Frankie and his strange behavior. If you're a Frankie fan, you should read it. It turns out, they mate for life and can die of broken hearts. Poor Frankie.

*Don't forget BlogHer has these fantastic give-aways where, just by commenting on a post, you're entered into a random drawing for hundreds of dollars in gift cards. I have one on my reviews/contest blog right now! Click here and tell me who in your life is the yin to your yang for a chance at a $100 Visa gift card. The contest ends June 3.

*As if taking care of my family, working, blogging, writing a book and practicing my drums weren't enough to fill my spare time, I've joined a Flickr group - "The Blog Camp 365 in 2010 Project."

What that means is I'm taking photographs, playing around with the editing, and uploading one to the group page every day. Oh, and I'm looking at everyone else's photos, commenting on them and learning tons and tons about photography while I'm at it. I'm trying to figure out how to add a link to my "One-A-Days" on this blog, but for some reason, I just haven't had time to do it yet. Keep an eye out for it, but in the meantime, I'll just post a few of mine here ... 

  

 

*The latest edition of my missionary friend Jeannie's newsletter arrived this week. In it she writes "...without electricity I eat cold food, take cold showers, have no internet or TV - in short, nothing in my house works but my cell phone, which I keep charged up, just in case. I also shower at night if I have electricity, to avoid a possible cold shower in the morning if there's no power. I've learned to do things at a slower pace and to adjust to a life with uncertainty." She goes on to say "... we're in what's called a false winter here. That means the weather is acting like the rainy season, even though it's a month early. Farmers have to decide whether to plant now or at the traditional time. They're both risky, but they have to make a decision. Many are out of food provisions for the year and an early start means they will have food sooner, if the rain keeps on. If it doesn't, the newly sprouted corn will dry up and die and they will lose this year's crop..."

I've tried getting her to convert her newsletter into a blog format, but she has too many she needs to mail it to. Plus, she's kinda busy ... So I'm trying to figure out a way to post her newsletter on my blog, just to help get the word out about her work. Keep an eye out for it, too!

*And last but not least, I spotted this on the news this week - a 94-year-old woman earned her college degree. That means there's still hope for me!

     

Today's the Day

Yesterday I was stressing out, overwhelmed by how quickly May was filling up - its busy-ness is rivaling the Spring Green and wildflowers that are taking over Long Hollow. After months spent snuggling (and snoozing) on the couch, watching movies with Tom, suddenly I'm faced with a full dance card. 

I'm socially out of shape. The thought of it all was tiring me out and I hate having to make choices ... hate having to say "no" to anything ...

Then last night we traveled to the other side of the lake to hear the Shake Russell Trio perform again. Sitting under the stars and oak trees, with the music and soft breeze surrounding me, I could feel the stress start melting away, especially when Shake sang "Today's the Day" - a joyous song about making the most of each day.

This morning I knelt in church, relishing the sunlight pouring in through the stained glass window behind the altar and the quiet seeping into my soul. A sigh welled up from deep inside and escaped, and I knew that what was left of yesterday's stress was gone, leaving only anticipation of this wonderful month behind.  

Because the next few weeks are going to wonderful, full of friends and family, and I'm actually very grateful and excited about everything written in each of those little squares on my calendar ... birthdays, graduations, a wedding, Mother's Day. I'm going to remember to live for each moment, enjoy each second as it comes and quit thinking about the next one. My brain has got to slow down ... it has to quit running ahead, ignoring the beauty of the here and now!

The challenge will be staying on top of the things I need to do in between all of the fun things, plus get enough sleep so that I can enjoy it all (and others can enjoy being around me!) I'll just keeping playing "Today's the Day", over and over and over in my head ...

The fun started this week. Thursday night a friend from my shiftwork days came out to the house for dinner with his wife. Ester was in town for work, and Gene tagged along. We realized it had been fourteen years since we've seen each other! How can that be? I'm so glad he called and they were able to come out to the house for dinner ...

 
 

Friday night we helped celebrate my friend Larry's birthday. Celebrations don't stop after 50! 

 
 

Yesterday morning Tom and I welcomed May by sleeping late (all of those 4 AM's caught up to me) and taking the critters for a long walk. It's shiftchange for the flowers. Here are a few newcomers I spotted ... 

 
 

 

 
  

Last night was like a dream - a perfect Texas night filled with the music of Shake Russell Trio. Getting to see Dee, Shake and our friend Bob again was just icing on the cake.

 

 

 

Kiss your life. Accept it, just as it is. Today. Now. So that those moments of happiness you're waiting for don't pass you by. - Unknown.

The cream of enjoyment in this life is always impromptu. The chance walk; the unexpected visit; the unpremeditated journey; the unsought conversation or acquaintance. - Fanny Fern

Tomorrow will be good, but today is awesome! I'm determined to make the most of every second! - Me

The Heart of the Matter

I've been spinning through emotions the past few days. Sunday evening I was still floating in air over having Shake Russell fill my house with his beautiful music when I got a call that a dear friend's ex-husband had died, killed in a motorcycle accident that afternoon. 

My heart aches for her - even though they were no longer married, he was one of her best friends, still family. The father of her children. They had dealt with the issues that separated them and found a new closeness through forgiveness.

It set me thinking about relationships - marriages, family, friends - and forgiveness. 

 "I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter, but my will gets weak and my thoughts seem to scatter, but I think it's about forgiveness ... forgiveness ..."

My thoughts are scattered right now. The thing is, even though my friend and her ex worked things out, managed to forgive and love again in a new way, another friendship of hers never recovered from it. Because of that one broken link, snapped apart by pride and judgment, a circle of friendship, like a pearl necklace, became unstrung, the pearls scattered. And that's been on my heart, too, because my friend could really use that whole strand of pearls right now.

"There are people in your life who've come and gone, they let you down, you know they hurt your pride. You better put it all behind you, baby, 'cause life goes on. If you keep carryin' that anger, it'll eat you up inside, baby ..."

 

Sadly, that's not the only friendship I've seen crumble apart because of pride and judgment. Friendship shouldn't be judgmental, should it? Honest, yes, but honesty tempered by love and forgiveness for each other's humanity, not honesty tainted by pride. 

But then, even love is judgmental and too proud sometimes. Husbands and wives dig their battle trenches and won't budge an inch ... children don't speak to their parents ... siblings drift apart. Things from the past take precedence over the here and now. 

"Ah ... these times are so uncertain, there's a yearning undefined, a

nd people filled with rage. 

We all need a little tenderness. How can love survive in such a graceless age? 

Ah ... the trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness - they're the very things we kill, I guess ..."

One thing is for certain - we will all have a last day, a last minute, on this earth. I hope I don't waste my time being hurt, angry or holding grudges. I hope when my last minute comes, I can go like my friend's loved one, knowing I have forgiven and been forgiven in return. To me, that's the heart of the matter.

Shake-in' it up ... Deep in the Hollow with Shake Russell

It was one of those moments you can't forget ... one of those "I remember the first time ..." events that are seared into your memory so deeply that if you close your eyes, you're back there again, just like that:

... It's 1978-ish. I'm sitting in my friend Bruce's truck, watching him pop in an 8-track tape ("I can't believe you've never heard of Shake Russell!") and then I hear it for the first time ... that beautiful melody and Shake's distinctive, soothing voice singing "Deep in the West" - a ballad that, to this day, reaches way down inside of me ... triggers unexpected emotions ... carries me away on the first notes.

From that moment on, I was hooked on Shake Russell. He never got a lot of air play on the radio (and still doesn't for some reason that I can't understand) but he played in small venues all around Houston. Tom and I went as often as we could to see him.

But then there were kids, a move, an accident, a house to build ... suddenly almost 15 years had passed without hearing Shake sing in person. I felt the weight of those years back in October when our friends Bob and Lisa called to invite us to hear Shake perform in their home. In their home! Shake Russell in their living room, playing those songs!

But we couldn't go; I tried so, so hard to squeeze it into an already packed weekend, but it was just impossible, and the disappointment added to the weight of those 15 years was crushing me. Then I realized, Hey! We could have our own Shake Russell concert!

So we did. Last night Shake Russell stood in my living room, right in front of me, just two feet from where I sit at this very moment, and sang "Deep in the West", "Two Silver Hearts", "You've Got a Lover" ... all my old favorites, plus several of my new ones, like "What This Heart Holds". 

But, of course, that's not all. As if having the Shake Russell Trio (Shake, Mike Roberts and Doug Floyd) serenade me and my friends with their beautiful music for several hours, and listening to them sing happy birthday to my brother Donnie wasn't enough ... well, sit down - you're never going to believe this! 

...I played the drums with Shake Russell! Okay, not really. But he did play my drums!

All in all, the night was a wish come true ... a wish I didn't even realize my heart made on that night so long ago in Bruce's truck ... a wish I couldn't have even imagined. 

Scenes from an unforgettable evening  ...

Shake playing my drums!

 

  

Me playing the drums with Shake! Well, sort of.

 

New friends, me and Dee (Shake's wife)

 

Me, Shake, Ann and Rae (who each have their own "Shake" stories to tell)

 

Shake singing "Deep in the West"

 

The Shake Russell Trio in my living room!

 

My brother Donnie, the birthday boy, with an actual smile on his face (Shake is singing Happy Birthday to him)

Thank you, Bruce. Thank you, Bob. Thank you, Shake. 

Thank you, Lord.

Anticipation

The frenzy has passed ...the planning, the emails, cleaning, shopping, cooking. Now I'm just waiting, trying to comprehend that it's actually here ... an event I've been looking forward to for months. Now I'm just sitting here, waiting, watching the clock. 

Tonight some of my favorite songs will be sung right here in my own living room, by the very singer/songwriter who heard them in his heart and captured them to share with others like me ... someone I've been listening to for, gosh, thirty years! It has seemed like a dream at times, trying to imagine it. It has also taken on nightmarish tones at times, trying to work out all of the details, trying to figure out how to fit everyone I care about and who I know would love to be here in my house, wishing I could invite everyone to share this event with me ... feeling bad because I can't. 

Tonight I'll get to wish my brother a happy birthday in person and see many friends - some I haven't seen since high school, some I've never even met face-to-face! 

But by this time tomorrow, it will be all over ... all in the past, just another memory. That makes me sad. 

Ah, I'm doing too much thinking. That's what comes of too much time on my hands. I better get up and find something to do - I'm sure there's something I've forgotten ... 

Adam's Song

Music takes me by the hand and leads me places. Most of the time I enjoy the journey but sometimes a song will take me to a place or time I've tried to forget.

Yesterday morning I settled in at my drums for my one-song-a-day ritual. Earplugs in place, I pushed the button on my (not an) iPod, tucked it into my shorts waistband and picked up the drumsticks just as the next song streamed into my head. 

With just the first few notes, I was whooshed back in time to stormy days - days when my kids were dealing with the wrenching emotions of their teenage years ... days when my heart ached until I thought it would break for them ... days spent worrying and wondering ... days spent on my knees praying ... and suddenly I was crying, overwhelmed by the memories.

When you become a mom, suddenly your heart is outside of your body, vulnerable and exposed; my heart has had its share of bumps and bruises, but it took some real beatings during those years. My tears fell from memories of the pain and fear and worry, but also from gratitude and relief. Here we are, almost ten years later, all of it behind us. We survived. Many parents - many kids - don't.

The song itself is a song of survival and hope - a reminder of how thin the thread of life is, how sometimes attitude and perception are what kill us or save us. The first time I heard it, in the car with Tommy, I told him I didn't like it - I thought it was a kid singing about his own suicide and that worried me. One line, especially, got me: "Please tell mom this is not her fault."

 No, mom, Tommy told me, he doesn't do it. Listen...

Sure enough, the kid is describing a botched attempt, expressing relief that it didn't work, that he didn't die, an awareness of how precious life is and hope in the future. It ended up becoming one of my favorite songs. 

And now it makes me cry.

Decisions, Decisions...

Frankie the Guinea Fowl usually escorts me to my car every morning, then runs alongside until we reach the property line. I have no idea why; it's just what he does. For some reason, he feels this is his duty and therefore, I'm honored.

This morning, however...no Frankie! I finally traced his chirps into the woods, where he was settled into a hole in the dirt, like a hen sits on a nest. He looked mighty comfortable, but I could tell he was torn, trying to decide whether he should escort (chase) me down the road or stay put. He would lift up an inch or two, then settle back down.

"That's okay, Frankie. You don't have to chase me today."

Ah, conflict. Despite my assurances, I could see him struggling under the weight of the choices. I watched him as I started the car and backed up, curious to see which would win, duty or pleasure. 

It was pleasure; he stayed put, comfy in his earthen nest.

Like Frankie, I found myself struggling to make a similar decision these past two days...duty or pleasure? Should I stay home, finally clean this filthy house, get some work done outside (it's going to be a beautiful weekend!) and catch up on writing and to-do list items?

Or...should I head to the coast, to Galveston, to a birthday party of a friend who's guests will also include George Strait's Ace in the Hole Band and friends from high school I haven't seen in a long, long time?

I hate having to make decisions like this...I know no matter what I decide, I'm going to have regrets.

On the one hand, Galveston has always been a special place to me ...a calming place that would pull me into its arms and soothe me when life threatened to overwhelm me. History, the beach, the sea and sun...ah, my idea of heaven. Then there are the friends I haven't seen in close to a year...I was really looking forward to spending some time with them, walking along the Strand or the seawall before heading for the party. And of course, with the Ace in the Hole band playing, there would be dancing...

On the other hand, and you might not realize this unless you're a first-class Procrastinator like me, but I've discovered something: if you ignore a to-do list long enough, it swells into a huge, hulking monster that looms over you, sucking the fun out of everything. And right now my house is splattered with so many lists morphing into monsters, so many scraps of paper with random thoughts scribbled on them that even I don't comprehend - like my brain exploded or something - that my house now resembles the setting of a Stephen King novel.

So, reluctantly, I'm choosing duty over pleasure this time. I need to be a grownup, damn it. I hate that! I can't believe I'm choosing staying home to tackle chores over a party in Galveston!

But I realize if I don't stop and breathe and tackle this mess it will consume me. Nothing will hold pleasure for me until the biggest monster has been tamed. I'm realistic enough to know this guy isn't going to disappear in one weekend, but maybe I'll be able to at least clean him up like Harry on Harry and the Hendersons. I love that movie! Maybe this will be a fun weekend, after all!

 

 

Saturday Nights are for Dancing

He's stretched out on the couch in front of the television. Austin City Limits is on and I can hear Kenny Chesney singing from where I sit at the desk, paying bills.

"Oh, this is a good one," I say. "Let's dance!"

I expect the "No" but I ask anyway. I love to dance, but when I mention going out for a twirl on a Saturday night, he says "We have a dance floor right at home! We don't have to go anywhere - we can dance anytime we want to."

Yes. The Floor.

He can tell you how many nails are in this floor - he shot them all himself, with a huge, heavy nail gun. It's in the thousands, that's all I know.

On the other hand, I can't tell you (because I've tried hard to forget) how many hours I spent sorting pieces of flooring by length for him, so the ends were staggered, row by row, and how many times I went over the whole thing on my hands and knees with a wet rag, dragging the bucket of water from section to section, and those nights I spent out here alone until way past midnight dancing with the huge electric sander up and down, up and down, trying not to think about what was out there in the pitch black night framed by the windows around me. That was before the Hollow felt like home. And it's about the only dancing this floor has seen.

Then suddenly..."I'll dance to this," he says.

My pen drops and I'm up in a second. We meet in the middle of the room...yes, our own private dancehall...and sway to Kenny's crooning, holding each other close.

And let me tell you...all the nails, all the hours...all worth it.

It's a Girlfriend Thing

Let me first say that I love my husband...I have fun just hanging out with him, he makes me laugh, we have great discussions, I can talk to him about anything, he's my best friend, blah, blah, blah...

With that out of the way, let me second say that I love my girlfriends, too...and I don't get to see them nearly as often as I'd like...

...which is why last Saturday I jumped on the chance to spend the day with my friends Mary Kay and Karen...attending a University of Texas women's basketball game, dinner and a movie ("Up in the Air" with George Clooney...good, but not as good as I expected) with a little shopping squeezed in between.

...and it's why, even though I was heading out of town the next morning, I left my poor, sick husband home alone this past Friday night to meet my friends Darla and Leslie (and Larry and Roy, but this is about GIRLfriends...no offense, Larry and Roy) to hear the Rhythm Dawgs play in a smoky Round Rock bar. Darla is in the first days of a new relationship and I just had to see her floating on air with my own eyes. (I wasn't disappointed.)

Thank goodness Tom understands about girlfriends - and even about non-girl friends like Larry and Roy. Many man don't. But that's one reason why I'm so crazy about him!

My trip to Pasadena was all about family this time, not girlfriends. I spent time visiting, remembering, laughing...watching "Inglourious Basterds" with my parents, brother and niece...being entertained by the squirrels and birds who have taken over the backyard and keep my parents hopping...

...but I did slip in a quick detour to meet my sister and her husband at my friend Rae's Mexican Imports garage sale on my way out of town Sunday...I needed to drop off a plastic container she had left at my house in October when everyone came for our friend Ann's birthday celebration. (I only bought the two pairs of earrings at the garage sale to be polite. Okay...it was also because they were gorgeous and such a great deal!)

While we're speaking of girlfriends...specifically Ann...I am so excited that my very own copy of her book Objects of Reflection was delivered today. It was a girlfriend thing that made me cheer her on the past few months as she worked on it...it was a girlfriend thing that I ordered it and spread the word about it here on my blog...but after flipping through it, reading some of her magical poetry, believe me...it will not be just a girlfriend thing that makes me read it.  It's a beautiful piece of art in itself. Way to go, girlfriend!

Going backwards...

I'm a proud owner of Objects of Reflection!

Me, Darla and Leslie toasting new love, new beginnings at the Roadhouse Bar and Grill...

 
Me, Mary Kay and Karen having fun even though our team lost...

Kissin' and a' huggin' with Fred

While blog-hopping this morning, I fell into a time warp. Jan of Jan's Daily Dish posted a link to a song she says her dad used to sing to her (with a warning that anyone under 55 might not want to click on it!)..."If I knew you were coming I'd've baked a cake..."

I'm still just a spring chicken of 50, but I took a chance and clicked anyway...and that's when I went swirling back in time (imagine me flailing my arms, surrounded by spirals of black and white, like they used to use on those old sci-fi shows)...landing in the middle of my livingroom of the early 60's.  There are dining room chairs sitting in a row with one in front and somehow I've convinced a few of my friends (probably Janet, Linda, Ricky, Sandy...) to put on a skit based on one of my favorite songs. I still wonder how I managed to talk them into it...you'll wonder the same thing, if you listen to it.

Hootenanny!

Last night Tom and I sat under the branches of towering trees, watching the half-moon play hide-n-seek behind the fast moving clouds and listening to live music - it was a Friday Night Hootenanny! The cold and the rain have kept us away for the last few months - we're wimps. But after last night, we're regretting we missed so many!

Our friends have created an outdoor Texas-style auditorium on their property - all wood and stone. A small fire chased away the chill near where we perched on a stone ledge on the terraced hillside, part of an audience that was almost outnumbered by musicians performing for us on the stage. Musicians came and went, but over the course of the night we listened to several acoustic guitars, a bass guitar, keyboard, saxophone, mandolin, trombone, snare drum, flute and bongo drums. Oh yeah...also a tambourine and one of those cylindrical things you shake to make a sandy, rattling sound.

The Hootenanny is a meeting of nature and music. If you're a musician, you're free to join them on the stage. It's a wonderful combination of cover songs and Linton-Mancilla originals...rock, blues, folk music, some Latino...

If you're in the Austin area and want to experience the Hootenanny yourself, let me know. I'll send you all the details. It's free - the only cost is an adventurous trek down a dirt road, something to drink and maybe a bag of chips and jar of salsa.

Now I'm off for more adventure - my first University of Texas women's basketball game and a movie with some Lago girlfriends...we're not sure which movie, but it doesn't matter. It will be fun just spending time with them!

Tomorrow will be a day of playing catch-up and crossing off to-do lists. Today...fun and friends.

Hope you are having a wonderful weekend!

Just Breathe

It's a melancholy day. Maybe it's the gray skies, the chilly rain...maybe it's because the kids head back to their college digs this weekend...maybe it's the heartbreaking devastation the people of Haiti are suffering right now.

Maybe it's none of the above...or all of the above.

Whatever the reason, the haunting melody and wistful lyrics of  "Just Breathe" by Pearl Jam has been the soundtrack for my day...

Yes I understand that every life must end, aw huh...
As we sit alone, I know someday we must go, aw huh...
I'm a lucky man to count on both hands
The ones I love...

Some folks just have one,
Other they got none, aw huh...

Stay with me...
Let's just breathe.

Practiced are my sins, never gonna let me win, aw huh...
Under everything, just another human being, aw huh...
Yeah, I don't wanna hurt, there's so much in this world
To make me bleed.

Stay with me...
You're all I see.

Did I say that I need you?
Did I say that I want you?
Oh, if I didn't I'm a fool you see...
No one knows this more than me,
As I come clean.

I wonder everyday as I look upon your face, aw huh...
Everything you gave and nothing you would take, aw huh...
Nothing you would take...
Everything you gave.

Did I say that I need you?
Did I say that I want you?
Oh, if I didn't I'm a fool you see...
No one knows this more than me,
As I come clean.

Nothing you would take, everything you gave.
Hold me till I die...
Meet you on the other side.

Viva My Elvis

Elvis was my first crush.

There. I said it.

I hesitate to broadcast it because I'm not an Elvis groupie. I've never been to Graceland and I don't have his birthday marked on my calendar...in fact, I didn't even realize he would have celebrated his 75th birthday this past week until CBS Sunday Morning featured some early Elvis photographs by Alfred Wertheimer.

Just a glance at those photographs...the dark hair, full, passionate lips and soulful eyes...(sigh...!) and I was back in the Pasadena Capitan Theater, walking down the aisle to my seat as Elvis sang the intro to "Viva Las Vegas"...staring up at him, falling in love with him and the song.

I was 5 years old.

Five years later, in 1970, he performed at the Houston Rodeo and Livestock Show. By sheer luck, Daddy and I scored free tickets - we were walking around the Livestock Show and someone gave us theirs...I can't remember the exact details or circumstances, but those tickets enabled me to share a moment in history with Elvis himself. Granted, we were only a few rows shy of the very top of the Astrodome - Elvis was a little doll dancing and singing far below us - but I was there! I remember seeing him...and I also remember the teenage girls squealing all around us.

I didn't feel compelled to squeal, despite my earlier crush. Maybe I was too young. Maybe I'm just not a squealer. But I think it's because Elvis wasn't Elvis to me anymore...he was already into his white jumpsuit days. His face was a little puffy and he had those sideburns...

I still loved some of his music, but he just wasn't...cool. Let's face it - he was middle-aged! No longer crush-material. I had moved on to Bobby Sherman.

I still loved some of his music, but in the Astrodome...especially near the very top...hell, all we could hear were those squealing girls!

Still, I was there! I shared that space, that bit of time with Elvis, and a wonderful memory with Daddy...but when I think of Elvis, it's not that Elvis...Elvis of the long sideburns and white jumpsuit. It's young, fun Elvis in "It Happened at the World's Fair", "Fun in Acapulco", and "Kissin' Cousins" (featuring Elvis in a blonde wig!)...it's Elvis making me want to dance, singing "Hound Dog", "Jailhouse Rock", and "Teddy Bear"...it's my passionate, sexy Elvis singing "Viva Las Vegas"...

Happy Birthday, Elvis...Let's dance!

A Day in the Mall, a Night in the Hangar...It Must be Christmas Time!

A blanket of thick fog settled on our bit of the world yesterday evening - it made driving the hilly, serpentine roads out here pretty tricky! When we woke up this morning, we still looked out at a white world, but by mid-morning, when I fed Max and Frankie, it had lifted, leaving the trees and grass sparkling with dew and the sky so blue it seemed it had been scrubbed clean.

I'm glad it waited until today to clear up - yesterday was filled with shopping...in and out of malls and stores. This sky would have been wasted! Except for a walk with the guys right after Mass, I still spent too much time indoors today but I was always near a window where I could at least see the sunshine if not spend my whole day in it.

Last night we celebrated the Christmas season with friends in their airplane hangar/home...lots of food, music and faces we don't see often enough anymore. Before we knew it, it was 2 am!! We're feeling it today, even as we prepare for another Christmas party. I have a feeling we'll be slipping out of this one early tonight!

Me with the hostess Rachel...

Host Carl (far right) with his son, his Irish mother and her twin sister...

Carl arranged for a bagpipe performance in honor of his mom and their Irish heritage...it was awesome!

This band was fantastic! The Eric Tessmer Band...mostly played blues...Eric's fingers would turn into a blur on his guitar...they're the main reason we lost track of time! You need to keep an eye out for these guys...

Carl showing off his latest acquisition, an OV-1 Mohawk, a plane that flew in Viet Nam -an amazing piece of history...