Long Hollow

The Simple Things are the Sweetest

Dawn is waking to rain and thunder this morning. She must have pulled the covers back over her head because the Hollow is still dark outside my window, except for occasional flashes of lightning.

On a normal morning, the puppies and I would already be out on the dirt road, saying hello to the new day. Instead, they're snoozing in the laundry room, warm and dry and happy, and I'm playing catch-up on posting my sweet!s.

Rain is sweet during a drought, but especially when you were able to spend hours the day before feeling the sunshine on your skin.

Weeks...well, maybe months ago, Tom trimmed branches from the trees lining the creek. I told him I'd drag them to a burn pile, and I finally kept my word yesterday morning after my walk. I had a few free hours and was already coated in mosquito spray.

Even though the morning was warming up fast, the shade softened the heat. Wildflowers dotted the woods and a field of Mexican hats grew beside the burn pile. Birds chatted in the trees and the running creek sang to me as I cleared the creek and paths of fallen branches.

Sweat soaked my head and torso, tickling my nose, and bits of leaves and bark freckled my arms, but it felt good using my muscles to gather the branches, drag them uphill, and throw them on the growing pile. I've always loved repetitive work like that, when my thoughts are free to fly where they will.

The higher the pile grew, the younger I felt. I gave thanks for the morning, the sunshine, the flowers, the creek, the sweat...but mostly for the ability to do the job. When you're 54, you don't take that for granted.

 

And now for more sweet! moments from the past week...

 

Monday: friends sending you links to potential jobs; the anticipation of a weekend at the beach with girlfriends, even if it's still months away; a photoshoot with a fun family; wading in a lake on a hot day; fawns

Tuesday: relishing a soft summer morning with your puppies before a busy day at work; daily talks with your mom 

Wednesday: phone conversations with your mother-in-law; your mother-in-law winning $1000 on a $1 scratch-off lottery ticket; word that one of your photos will be featured in HuffPost 50 

Thursday: hearing a friend's voice for the first time in a year; dinner, lots of popcorn, and a Matthew McConaughy movie with girlfriends 

Friday: finally using a certificate for a massage your son gave you for Christmas; catching up with a dear friend; getting your client's photos to her on time and hearing that she liked them; old red trucks; your dad NOT having to go to the hospital 

Saturday: a road trip with your kids to spend Father's Day with your dad; your mom appearing stronger than the last time you saw her; hearing that your three Beach Yoga photos will soon grace the wall of a summer rental home belonging to a friend in Greece

Sunday: having the coffee ready and the newspaper on the table for your dad when he wakes up; hamburgers and cheesecake in honor of the father of your children; hearing that a friend was baptized this morning; green metallic beetles with orange legs

Monday: bouquets of mountain pinks dotting a hillside; a green heron posing for photos; sweating from physical labor; your little creek and nearby paths finally cleared of fallen trimmed branches; a few hours with, and a hug from, your baby girl; email and Facebook that can connect you to friends on the other side of the world

Tuesday: rain during a drought; unexpected time to post your Sweet!s of the Week; the moment storm clouds break to reveal blue sky 

I didn't quite finish this before the storm drifted past, with little patches of blue sky peeking down, reminding me to get the dogs out of the laundry room. I cut the walk short, though, and we stuck to the muddy road because I forgot to douse myself with mosquito spray. 

Mosquito spray is definitely a sweet! around here this summer. It's the simple things, right?

I hope you're remembering to notice the sweet, simple blessings in your life. Share them with me here and make them doubly sweet!

"I'm just a simple guy, I live from day to day. 
A ray of sunshine melts my frown and blows my blues away." 

~Jimmy Page, Robert Plant, and John Bonham, "Out On The Tiles" (Led Zeppelin)

 

My Tiny Taste of BlogHer Food 2013

 

I am not a food blogger.

Oh, I may write about my Cyclops Cookies, Tom's better-than-Hooter's hot wings, and yummy sushi from Eddie V's, but they're mingled with my stories about dogs and mice and dancing and friendship.

I'll never be a niche blogger of any kind, because I could never make up my mind. Well, I do have my photography blog, but it's still all over the place, subject-wise. 

So when BlogHer announced it was holding the BlogHer Food 2013 conference in Austin, I was more disappointed than excited. I've been wanting to go to a regular BlogHer conference ever since I heard about them, but they're always held in exotic far-off lands, like New York City, Los Angeles, and, later this summer, Chicago. 

Even if I could afford the cost of the conference, the travel expenses make it impossible.

(Dang it, why didn't they send the food bloggers to Chicago and have the Big Deal in Austin?)

But BlogHer must have sensed my discontent. They actually opened up the closing party to outsiders like me for next to nothing.  And because the closing party included live music, dancing, barbecue and one free drink at Stubbs BBQ downtown on a Saturday night...well, I couldn't pass up a bargain like that and the chance to get at least a taste of BlogHer Food 2013.

It wasn't until I was trying to figure out what to wear that it hit me: I was going to a party where I didn't know a soul and everyone else had been hanging out together all weekend.

Blah! But I decided to go anyway. I mean, I'd already bought the ticket. There was a plate of barbecue waiting at Stubbs with my name on it. I couldn't just abandon it.

So I went. It helped that there were several nametags waiting for other outsiders on the table where I checked in.

Until that night, I'd only seen four bloggers in person, period. I wasn't sure what I expected the food bloggers to look like, but I'll just say they didn't fit into any niche as far as appearance goes. No standard gender, age, size, or even taste in clothing. That helped me feel more comfortable right away.

I traded my drink ticket for a frozen strawberry sangria concoction, filled a plate with barbecue, and found an empty spot on a picnic table near a blonde lady who looked about my age.

I don't remember her name or where she was from, but we had a good conversation over the loud music. This had been her first BlogHer conference and she said all the freebies really balanced the cost of it all.

She left and young girl named Kayla who worked for one of the vendors sat down to eat. We had a good conversation, too, about trying to find jobs (she recently graduated) then she went back to work filling cookies with ice cream, and I wandered over to the photo booth where I met Sarah, who worked for the photo booth company sponsored by Ninja Kitchen.

When she found out I was from Austin and didn't know anyone (I tell my story to everyone I meet, of course) she wrote on a chalkboard and joined me in my photos.

I thought she was just feeling sorry for me, but when all of the photos were posted online, I saw quite a few people in photos by themselves.

I guess it was that Austin connection, after all, and not (just) pity!

The awesome music of The Grooves, an Austin cover band, lured me closer to the area near the stage. Small groups of ladies had finally started dancing so I just joined in.

(Would you believe I used to be shy? I know. It's hard for me to believe it, too.)

As much as I love dancing, I confess the highlight of my night was seeing Pioneer Woman. Yes, Ree Drummond, herself, stood just inches from me at one point. And my camera joined all the others snapping away while she was telling jokes onstage.

For you non-bloggers, PW is the Queen of the Bloggers, and not just food blogging! She has it all down: Home-schooling, Home and Beauty, Entertainment, Photography, Life on a Ranch in the Middle of Oklahoma Nowhere.

She's written a couple of cookbooks, a children's book, and a memoir. Probably a lot of other stuff, too. How the heck does she do it??? Yes, I'm terribly jealous, and that's what makes her a blogging Rock Star!

Finally, the last song was sung and danced to, I grabbed another bottle of water (They were free, thank goodness. Dancing on a hot, humid Texas night under the stars = sweat!) and headed to my car. 

While I waited at an intersection, I chatted with a couple of Pedi-Cab drivers. And they agreed to have their picture taken even though I wasn't a potential customer.

 

(This one got distracted by an actual customer, but I took his photo anyway.)

I love Austin. Amen.

 

 

 

 

 

Sons, Sunday mornings, and other sweet!s

I'm not proud to admit this, but I missed church this morning because of the rain. 

Right about the time Daniel and I were going to head out the door (Tom was still snoozing!) - already running late because we had to let the terrified dogs into the laundry room - the break in the unexpected morning storm disappeared and sheets of rain pelted the Hollow sideways like a firehose aimed right at us. 

I pictured myself trying to scramble up our rock pathway in my heels and knew an umbrella would be no match for that storm.  I'd be soaked in seconds even if I remained standing.

If I didn't have to go to work right after church...if we weren't already running ten or fifteen minutes late...

Anyway...instead of getting soaked, we went out on the deck with cups of coffee, gave thanks for the much-needed rain, and watched a little bird zip and flip and twirl through the air to catch tiny moths that drifted up from the ground.

I tried to capture his acrobatics with my camera, but no luck. Thank goodness he had mercy on me and posed on Tom's truck for a few seconds.

 

Anyone know what he is? We decided to just call him a Variegated Brown Moth-Eater. It sounded official enough.

Here are some other sweet! moments from my past week...

Sunday: fireflies; late-night chocolate chip pancakes, courtesy of your daughter; catching new things in Galaxy Quest that make you and your daughter laugh even though you've seen it a million times already

Monday: your son and husband making it back from Florida, safe and sound; being in the right place at the right time to be asked to (volunteer to) be in a commercial; Chuy's tortilla soup; not having a problem with eating in a restaurant alone; a stack of books from your mother-in-law, because she knows you love books

Tuesday: a friend who tries to get you a job, even if she's unsuccessful; virtual hugs when you're having a tough day; the right verse in your email to soothe your disappointment 

 

 

Wednesday: waking up with a sense of peace after a dark day; watching your old puppy swim; a field of yellow

Thursday: one last cut and color with your stylist until you find a real job; a hug from your baby girl; getting up the nerve to apply for a job even when you know it's a long shot

 

Friday: a request to photograph a fun family; progress on your children's book; delicate wildflowers on your morning walk

 

Saturday: a morning at Laguna Gloria; great critiques; a swan, swimming and posing for you; a sweet card from a dear friend; your son fast-forwarding through parts of the Matrix so you can watch the awesome fight at the end before you have to leave; going somewhere even though you don't know a soul there; meeting new friends; dancing at Stubbs BBQ; seeing Pioneer Woman in person!

 

 

Sunday: spotting a blog friend's daughter on the Today show, singing at Princess Madeleine of Sweden's wedding; sitting on a covered porch during a thunderstorm with your son; a blue sky after a thunderstorm; a beef quesadilla for lunch before work, thanks to your son; a dog that imitates a meerkat; perfect guacamole...and you made it!

 

I hope your past week was full of sweet! moments, but you find more in the week ahead! Share them with me here!

Five Things on Friday

1.

Whew! I made it through May without a major random health issue.

Why is that surprising? Read "There's Something About May" to get the full story, but suffice it to say that I get a little paranoid beginning on May Day because in four of the past five Mays I've suffered from some weird, random illness or pain. 

Shingles...heart palpitations...

You'd be nervous, too!

I'm grateful I got a break this year.

2.

photo from HERE, courtesy of Natural Bridge Wildlife Ranch

On May 10, twins Wasswa and Nakato were born in New Braunfels, Texas. They are the only living set of giraffe twins, and only the second documented case in the U.S.

They were born at the Natural Bridge Wildlife Ranch, which isn't that far from me, so...

Why haven't I gone to see those precious babies yet?

To see them in all their (digital) cuteness, go HERE or HERE.

3.

I've been spending a lot of time filling out job applications, trying to match my eclectic work experience to each position. It's creative writing (nonfiction - I'm not making anything up!) but not the kind I'd like to be working on.

 

4.

Speaking of trying to find a job, I've taken a vow: I won't visit my hair stylist or buy any wine until I have a steady paycheck. 

(That should be enough incentive to keep me searching, don't you think?)

5. 

I've been attacked...by poison ivy. I'm careful to wear long pants on my morning walks through the woods, so I'm suspecting a sneak attack via Belle, aka Cuddle Puppy.

It's itchy and ugly, but it won't make me stop Belle from snuggling up against me, or from my morning walks through the woods, where the Mountain Pinks are now blooming...

 

 

Linking up with A Rural Journal's Random 5 Friday

 

Adventures in Hyundai-land (No autographs, please)

When you have a husband who can do just about anything, you don't spend much time waiting for your car to be serviced or repaired. He prefers doing it himself to save money.

But sometimes that husband ends up with too many cars and projects that need his immediate attention, or your car requires something that takes special equipment, like an alignment...which is how I ended up in a nearby Hyundai dealership's waiting room Monday afternoon.

I didn't mind. There was a Keurig coffeemaker nearby, wi-fi available, and I brought my bag of goodies: a photography magazine, papers to critique, a blank notebook, and snacks.

As usual, the mechanic found some other things that needed attention. He actually carried the cabin air filter out to me, to show me how nasty it was. "I think something was living in this," he said. 

Do you remember the little mouse I found in my glovebox? Well, now I know where that little toot was nesting!

But the most exciting part started about halfway through my wait. A large video camera captured a customer walking in the door, over and over and over. A commercial was being filmed, right before my eyes!

I snuck this photo. I didn't want to look like a total geek, but, I mean, how often do you get to see something like that?

(Why, yes I do live a sheltered life.)

 

 

That's not the best part, though.

See the man with glasses up there? That's the Director. About an hour later, he approached me and asked if I'd like to be in a commercial. Well, specifically to 'volunteer' to be in a commercial.

Well, heck yeah I would!

I signed the requisite papers and then waited while they "set up the shot". (That's film lingo for those of you not in the "Biz".)

Soon, there I was pulling a car I pretended was mine into the service bay, the Director and his camera crew on my left. I climbed out as gracefully as possible (which probably wasn't too graceful), smiled and shook hands with the service rep, exchanged some fake conversation about my pretend car, and then "CUT!"

We did it three or four times, standing in different spots, and then my spot in the limelight was over. The camera crew moved off to film another volunteer vignette.

My non-speaking two seconds on the tube will be part of a Grand Opening commercial for the Round Rock Hyundai Dealership - unless it gets cut because of the lack of gracefulness I mentioned. I have no idea when it will air, but I guess I need to start watching more television so I don't miss it!

Now I can cross "starring in a commercial" off my Bucket List - right after I write it on there.

 

By the way, thank you for the sweet comments I've received about yesterday's glum post. I went to bed reminding myself  to "Be still, and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10) and early this morning I woke with the sweetest sense of peace in my soul.

On my walk with the pups, my heart swelled in gratitude for the blue sky and birdsong all around me, and even for the wet dog hair left clinging to my hand after scratching Max because I know one day I'll miss it, as yucky as it is, because I won't have that stinky, goofy country dog to cuddle anymore.

My friend Shirley posted this in reply to my post on Facebook, and it is so very true. I hope if there are any worries or disappointments weighing on your heart, it helps you hang on.

"Joy comes in the morning."

~ Psalms 30:5 

Thank you, Shirley, and all of you again...

 

Goodnight, Tuesday (and kids, stay in school!)

I said goodnight to Tuesday out on the porch. As I rubbed Belle's belly, the sun slipped below the horizon, leaving a smudge of orange above the trees.

I'm almost ashamed to tell you I wasn't sad to see it go. Despite my vow to not wish time away, to be grateful for every minute, blah, blah, blah...I've struggled to hang on to my smile today. First thing this morning I got an email letting me know the job I'd been crossing my fingers AND toes for since March wasn't available after all. 

It was a writing job. One where I could finally put all of my experience at the chemical plant to good use, doing what I love, and get paid to visit my parents in Houston for a week or more each month, instead of having to take off work to go. Paid well enough to get us out of debt, I should add.

A friend tried to help me out, but she just couldn't get that door open. This is where a degree in English or Journalism would have come in real handy. Years and years and years of creative writing and newspaper reporting just didn't cut it.

I guess the big lesson is, if I had stuck with Chemical Engineering, if I hadn't dropped out, I wouldn't be writing this right now.

Of course, if I hadn't been a total stay-at-home mom, devoted to volunteering and only working part-time jobs for the past twenty years, I wouldn't be writing this, either. 

  Although, honestly, I don't really regret those decisions or feel they were wrong.

My email inbox tried to cheer me up. These were the two quotes-of-the-day I received:

Trust the past to the mercy of God, the present to his love, and the future to his providence.

~ St. Augustine

and

Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

~ 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Another coincidence was a book Tom brought back to me from his mom: Basket of Blessings, 31 Days to a More Grateful Heart, by Karen O'Connor. I glanced through it this morning. It reminded me of my collection of sweet!s, although she digs a little deeper about what we can be grateful for.

This one made me really stop and think:

We can be grateful for pain: the death of a loved one, divorce, or illness...each a gift in its own way if we take time to see it.

I was still pondering that when I received the email, which for me heralded the death of a dream, of a glimmer of hope and help for my family, and smashed my self-confidence.

So I've spent the day praying for a grateful heart, thinking of those poor people in Oklahoma who have been hit so hard just recently and reminding myself of all the blessings in my life.

For starters, I was able to walk my puppies just as the sun rose on a clear summer sky, to run with healthy legs and heart and lungs on my treadmill, to shower with hot water, to drive in my car to a job in a beautiful location where I work with nice people and get to meet others.

But it's not a career. It's part-time. It's fun in a way, but I've learned all there is to learn. It's not going to evolve into something else. And it's definitely not enough money. 

So I'll keep searching, keep trying to adapt my eclectic work and volunteer experience into the requirements and explain why I don't need a college degree to do the job, of wondering if I'm perceived as too old to learn anything or start a career. 

But not tonight. To paraphrase Sister Golden Hair..."...I tried to make it Tuesday, but I got so damn depressed, that I set my sights on Wednesday and I got myself undressed."

Goodnight, Tuesday. No hard feelings?

 

Movies (and other sweet!s)

The past few days have been a blur between working at the winery, job applications, taking care of the puppies, a little bit of writing...and watching movies.

I've watched four since Friday night and I'll be watching another one in just a few minutes. I'm not sure if I've ever watched that many in such a short time, but if I have, it was a long, long time ago. 

But TG has been hanging out with me this weekend because we had someone quit at the last minute at the winery and thank goodness my sweet girl agreed to help us out at a special dinner last night.

She had as much serving experience as I had when I started - none! But she caught on fast and having her there made the night seem more like fun and less like work. 

Sweet, right?

Here are a few other sweet! moments from this past week...

Wednesday: happy dogs on a morning walk; fields of Texas thistle and Mexican hats growing in dry pond bottoms; finishing the editing of a photo shoot 

Thursday: your customer loving the photos you took of her family; Daddy-Long-Legs; moths the size of hummingbirds

Friday: wishing your mother-in-law a happy 80th birthday, even if it's via the telephone; spinach quesadillas and Happy Hour frozen margaritas; giggling through "Night at the Roxbury" and "Saturday Night Fever" with your daughter

Saturday: hearing that your dear friend is better and will probably be released from the hospital that day; making it through a 13-hour workday, and teaming up with your daughter for the second half; sampling roasted duck and shrimp croquettes; staying up late after work to watch "Napoleon Dynamite" with your daughter even though you're both exhausted; Napoleon Dynamite's dance routine; baby grapes

Sunday: waking to the sound of rain; visiting with friends at church; time to publish flower photos on your photography blog before heading to work; finally watching all of "Cool Runnings" after years of only catching the end

 

Wishing you a week blurry with sweet! moments!

(I'd love to hear about some of yours from this past week! Please share them in the comments.)

 

Raindrops and Photo Shoots

Saturday morning I woke to the sound of rain. Lots and lots of rain. I staggered to my computer and pulled up radar of our area.

A huge green and yellow blob was blinking its way straight for us. A blessing for sure in this time of drought, two days in a row of serious rainfall, but dang it, I had a photo shoot scheduled that morning.

It wasn't supposed to rain, according to the weather forecast.

But it was raining. All I could do was call off the shoot, hope to reschedule, give thanks for the rain, and crawl back into bed. I was disappointed, but sleeping in on a rainy morning is pretty sweet, don't you agree?

Making it even sweeter was being able to reschedule the shoot for yesterday evening and having the weather cooperate. We didn't even let the fact that dozens of other people decided to celebrate Memorial Day in the little park where we'd planned the shoot, swimming all around the little dam and waterfall that was supposed to be a pristine backdrop. We just carried on as planned.

So far I'm very pleased with the shots and I think my clients will be, too!

Here are a few other sweet!s from the past week...

 

 

Monday: spotting a great blue heron soaring over the Hollow through the french doors; the first tiny bud on your miniature rosebush; a day with no makeup; hummingbirds

Tuesday: helping your co-worker explain the relationship of Catholics and saints to his non-Catholic sister-in-law and having her say "That makes sense."; seeing a friend and her family at work; hearing of miracles on a sad day; being able to talk to your mom and sister about anything; hearing that your neighbor's lost dog wandered back home, safe and sound; new tires on your car, thanks to your husband; the call of a Chuck-Will's-Widow

Wednesday: cotton-tailed rabbits and white-tailed deer on your morning walk; Greek pizza; seventy-year-old newlyweds; a dog's tail wagging at the sight of you; punk-rocking teenager cardinals; the silence of the woods; progress on one of your books

Thursday: a high-five from your allergy/asthma doctor; typing 74 wpm and making a 96 on an employment spelling test; a hug from your baby girl; Chuy's creamy jalapeno dip and tortilla soup; a call from your mom; a thoughtful card in the mailbox from a dear friend; your son's wedding video; painted buntings; playing your drums 

Friday: remembering your puppies' heart and flea protection; much-needed rain in your Hollow; the relief and gratitude in your puppies' eyes when you let them be house dogs during a thunderstorm; your mom calling to warn you about severe thunderstorms headed your way

Saturday: roadrunners; a second day of much-needed rain; a full moon over a vineyard; wedding cake; a midnight serenade, courtesy of happy frogs

Sunday: the sound of a waterfall; brunch, wine, and a long visit with a dear friend while being the customer instead of the server for a change; a visit from your oldest baby; your youngest calling to check on you; making it to your writing critique group

Monday: your photo chosen for a Mortal Muses Mosaic; watching the new Star Trek movie with 1/2 of your kids; popcorn for lunch; a photo shoot with a beautiful, fun family

Tuesday: summer mornings; watching your old puppy swim across a pond; shopping with your baby girl; a long phone call with a dear friend

I hope sweet! moments rained down on you all last week and overflow into the next!

(I'd love to hear about some of yours! Please share them in the comments.)

Five Things on a Friday Night. And a Puppy.

 

1.

You know you're getting old when, instead of taking friends up on an invitation to listen to live music on a Friday night after work, you walk your friend's dogs, eat dinner alone at Panda Express, pick up a few things at Walmart, and make brownies for your friend's son's college graduation party on Saturday.

And then write a blog post about it.

 

2. 

 

Nothing smells better than brownies baking in the oven. Amen.

 

3.

 

The fortune in my cookie at Panda Express read: "A pleasant surprise is in store for you." Sure enough, within the hour, I was standing in the check-out line at Walmart when a familiar voice said, "Barbara?"

It was the former high school librarian who I loved working with as a substitute assistant and who loved having my son as her aide. I haven't seen her in ages.

It truly was a very, very, very pleasant surprise. (But how did Panda Express know? It's almost creepy!)

 

4.

 

One of the feral cats that adopted my parents has disappeared. They believe it died.

When I was there for Mother's Day, it had tucked itself into a tight spot between the house and the deck. It was too wild for them to catch. Daddy just made sure it had food and water nearby, but it had no appetite.

They had enjoyed watching that cat sleep on the deck (and try to catch birds at the feeder and bath - sometimes successfully) for over a year.

She was a pretty little thing, and they forgave her for trying to kill (and succeeding in killing) the birds, and scaring the squirrels away.

It makes me so sad for them. 

 

5.

 

I attended a Writer's League of Texas panel on magazine writing last night. Four writers shared their experiences: Sarah Bird, Chuck Eddy, Alicia Dennis, and Michael Hall.

In a nutshell I learned that magazine writing used to be a great gig, but that it's getting harder and harder to make a living at it because so many magazines have folded, so much is online now, and there are tons of writers doing it for next-to-nothing...or nothing, period. 

The writers were all really interesting and funny, and still all actively writing for publications, including People and Texas Monthly, but overall it was kind of sad and bittersweet.

So don't you think it's ironic that I want to do it even more after listening to them talk about it?

P.S.

 

Before the magazine panel, Daniel and I ate at Opal Divine's. This little Mini-Max and his mom sat near us, and, oh! he stole my heart!

I'm going to post more street photos on Confessions, but had to share Augie with you here, too.

I think I want a puppy.

Happy Birthday, anyway, Tom!

When the rain started around 3 am, pounding on the house like we were under a giant faucet, Tom remembered he left his car windows down. A mad dash in the rain up the hill in the middle of the night isn't the greatest way to start your birthday. 

I think the worst of it came through our area just as he left for work. I prayed for his angels to stick close to him while he maneuvered the wet highways in his little Suzuki Samurai, trying not to think of another wet May morning in 1998 that changed our lives.

He'll be working late tonight (still catching up from those days off for the wedding) and so we have no special plans. Last night he met the boys for beer and pizza after work, though. His kind of celebration, for sure.

Before writing this, I glanced over some other posts I wrote in honor of his birthday. I had to shake my head when reading this in Grateful for #53:

So I wasn't surprised when I asked him what he wanted for his birthday and he said: "Don't get me anything. Just pay off the credit cards." 

I'm trying. I've made progress. Substantial progress. But it's a constant tug between needs, wants and finances, a battle we're intimately familiar with - we've been a mostly one-income family since soon after we married, when he quit work to go to college. We just switched places after our youngest was born. 

Now that we're Empty Nesters, I've doubled my "paid" hours. The catch is, without a college degree, my pay ... and my choices ... are limited. I try to make up for both - the pay and the fulfillment - with my writing. Blogging brings in a little bit of money; my play and my book, not so much ... yet. I joke that they're our retirement plan - once they're finished, I'll make a million dollars and we can both retire. But the only way that can happen is if I write, and the trick there is finding time to write. Between the 'paid' job and life, there's not much time left without dipping into my sleep, and when I skimp on sleep ... well, I'm back where I started, full circle: Tom worries. About me.

But I haven't given up. If being broke and juggling finances for years has taught me anything, it's to be creative and frugal. Being frugal just gets so tiring. But Tom's worth it. 

I feel bad that I won't be able to give him what he asked for this year, but I'll do my best for #54. I have a feeling he'll be asking for the same thing, anyway."

I shook my head because he still hasn't gotten this wish. But I haven't given up doing my part to see it come true by finding a job that will do more than slow the sinking. I know it's out there!

(Are you hiring? Contact me! I can do anything - seriously!)

Anyway, I'm wishing my dear husband sunshine on his birthday, even if it's only in his heart and not in the sky. A lightness and sense of hope that comes from faith. And I'm giving him all of my love, as always, and thanking God for letting me share my life with him for so long. 

Happy 56th birthday, Tom!

 

Rambling about Dogs, Children, and Butterflies

 

The sun still yawned under a light gray blanket this morning when the puppies and I headed out for our walk.

Josie, my grandpuppy, took the lead as usual; she's still excited about her visit to the country. Belle, my sweet companion, fell into step near me. She never strays too far from my side for long. Max lagged behind, probably worn out from trying to keep up with the youngsters all week.

Tomorrow evening my son, the newlywed, will be coming to take Josie home. I'll miss that little girl. We've had some great conversations and cuddle-time, but I look forward to seeing Tommy and hearing about their adventures in Italy.

This will be my Mother's Day visit from him, since I'll be in Houston visiting my mother on Sunday. I'll probably see the other two on Saturday. One might even travel with me to Houston, but it's still kind of iffy.

When the kids all lived at home, Mother's Day morning found me lying in bed, pretending to be asleep, listening to pans banging and Tom coaching them through fixing me a big bacon, eggs, and toast breakfast.

But once they started leaving the nest, it was rare to see them - especially all three at once - much less have a kid-cooked breakfast, because college finals usually fell around Mother's Day. 

But I'm grateful I can spend that special day with my mom, trying to make up for way too many Mother's Days that I spent with my friends on a Galveston beach instead of with her. (Kids! Sigh.)

I also go see her because it would be wrong not to, when so many of you would give anything to be able to tell your moms Happy Mother's Day in person, just one more time.

Anyway, back to this morning's walk...

I spotted a butterfly clinging to a low juniper branch. It fluttered a bit but stayed put as I snapped one photo after another, drawing ever closer.

The fact that it didn't fly away worried and concerned me. For some reason, I got the impression it was stuck to the branch, trying to get loose. Wanting to help, I put my finger out to help free it. It climbed onto my finger, but then fluttered to the ground, wings out, lying still.

Oh great, I thought. Now what I have I done?

I shooed the dogs away from it and started to continue on my walk, but worry and guilt got the best of me. I returned to the butterfly, found a small twig, and put it near its little feet. It clung to the twig, so I lifted it back up to where I first found it. It returned to the juniper branch, so I dropped the twig, and, again, started walking away.

But...what if it really wanted to be on the ground? Maybe I helped it the first time and just messed things up the second time. What if...what if...what if...?

I said a prayer for the little thing, and kept walking, trusting God to fix whatever I might have screwed up.

 

Then I thought about my kids (because that's the way my brain works and it is almost Mother's Day, after all) and about all the times I tried to help them. So often I just seemed to mess things up instead of making them better.

What if...what if...what if...?

And that's when I told myself to just shut the heck up, because what's done is done. I can honestly say my kids are awesome people, and whether it was despite me or because of me, it doesn't matter.

I know I did the best I could along the way for those beautiful creatures God put in my life's path,  just as I did the butterfly, always with lots of prayer. So I'll just keep trusting God to fix whatever I might have screwed up with my kids, too.

What more can we do, as mothers and fathers, and hikers in the woods?

So.... at the grocery store a little later, I indulged and bought some chocolate-covered strawberries.

Happy Mother's Day to me!

And Happy Mother's Day to all of you mothers out there! 

May you indulge yourself with forgiveness for any past (or future) parenting mistakes. You know in your hearts, as I do in mine, that you did the best you could, and most likely, you did a whole lot more right than wrong. Amen.

Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn't know you had, and dealing with fears you didn't know existed.  ~Linda Wooten

 

Back to Reality

The fairy tale is over, at least for me and Tom. While my son and his beautiful bride continue their romantic story over in Italy, we've said goodbye to the rehearsal dinner leftovers and the last out-of-town guest.

My mother-in-law left this morning. No more eating out or playing cutthroat games of 3-13, where I actually got on a winning streak for the first time in 30 years.

We're puppysitting our grandpuppy (which I love!) but otherwise we're back to our old routines. I went back to work yesterday and, while Tom is taking a few days off, he's back to piecing rock together for our driveway. I hear his hammer tapping as I type this.

But thank goodness (and bless my husband who built it) reality includes a break in the evening beside a little terrace bordering a small pond shaded by new green leaves, with splashes of crimson flowers and baby dewberries along the rim, where I can sit with a glass of wine, a pen and some paper, until the mosquitoes tell me it's time to go inside.

I thank you God for this most amazing day, for the leaping greenly spirits of trees, and for the blue dream of sky and for everything which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes. 

~e.e. cummings 

 

No. 1 of 5 - Because I'm from Texas

 

1.

Well, I got me some cowboy boots.

You might recall, from my Birthday post, that some of my friends pitched in to give me a gift card to buy a pair because I kept entering contests on Facebook trying to win some.

I debated on whether to be practical and buy an iPad or groceries with the gift card, but this past week I came to my senses and used the card as they intended me to, to buy boots.

I'm a Texan, after all.

 

And because I'm a girl, I used what was left on the card for a mani/pedi. I felt very self-indulgent.

(Thank you again, sweet friends!)

 

2.

I was standing on the front porch after my morning walk, filling up the puppies' water bucket, when I heard this buzzing sound. Just three feet away from me, a tiny hummingbird was investigating our red birdhouse. He finally gave up and buzzed away, leaving me feeling very blessed. 

Some things just remain amazing, no matter how many times you see them, don't they?

 

3.

My son's wedding is getting ever closer, but I'm not nervous or anything. During my own wedding, I calmed myself down so much I was semi-comatose...sorta zombie-like, only without the killing... and barely remember it.

I hope that's not happening again...

 

4.

My professional tagline is "writer, blogger, photographer" but I often doubt the veracity of it, and this is why:

I have written a dozen blog posts this past week - in my head. You'll never read them because I've already forgotten half of them, and wouldn't have time to write them even if I did remember them. 

I have some great ideas for improving my books and stories, but haven't had time to actually sit and work on them, or start the new stories buzzing in my head, or edit the dozens of photos I've captured this past week of flowers and birds and trees and other visions of spring here in the Hollow, much less post them on sites where they can be purchased.

But I've decided to  keep the tagline and consider myself a writer, blogger, photographer on hiatus, because... 

"In the provinces of the mind, "what one believes to be true either is true or becomes true."

~Panda Express fortune

 

 

5.

What I believe:

(sign outside of our church "Garden of Eatin'")

Amen.

I hope you have a great week! 

I Blame LinkedIn

Instead of exercising this morning before heading to work, I made the mistake of clicking on my LinkedIn profile when I got on the computer to pay some bills. By the time I finished updating it, I was scrambling to make it to work on time.

So as soon as I stepped in the door this evening after work, I changed into my work-out clothes, determined to keep up my routine. But I was starving. First I would eat, then I would work out.

But I couldn't work out right after eating, could I? So I cleaned off my desk and sat down to finish paying bills until enough time had passed that I wouldn't puke when I jumped rope.

Money on my brain, or rather the lack thereof, I couldn't resist clicking on the email from LinkedIn telling me about jobs I might like. 

Well, I didn't like any of those, but I kept clicking and found one that actually did appeal to me and matched my experience and skills. So I clicked on "apply", which took me to a window requesting my resume.

Uh-oh. Updating my resume had been on my to-do list...or I should say, it's been ignored on my to-do list. It immediately moved up in priority.

I spent the next thirty minutes...hour...who knows how long, tidying it up to match the job, then finished applying.

Time to work out. No, it was late. I would just pay bills and get in bed early so I could wake up early enough to work out.

Oh, but first, I needed to print out one of my critique group member's submission for the next meeting in case I got called to substitute teach in the morning. I like to do my critiques during my long break periods. Too cheap to use new paper, I decided to clean out my file cabinet and find some paper I could recycle.

So I headed into the bedroom where the file cabinet is and noticed the basket of towels on the bed waiting to be folded. I remembered I had clothes in the washer and dryer, so I turned on "Dancing with the Stars" for ten minutes while I folded, then moved the loads around downstairs.

But instead of folding the next basket of clothes I pulled from the dryer (just Tom's work clothes - wrinkling wouldn't hurt them) I thought I better get back to paying bills.

Back on the computer, a quick glance at Facebook reminded me I wanted to submit one of my blog posts to BlogHer's Voices of the Year.

I'm getting very audacious in my old age! Perhaps I've read this enough times to believe it:

"Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers, why not gather your own bouquet?"

- from P.S. I Love You on my bathroom wall

 

But which post should I submit? I started scrolling through my posts until I came to The Artist. That would do. I filled in the nomination page then shared my audaciousness on the GenerationFabulous Facebook page, which is full of supportive women, but I've been neglectful of my own support for them lately, so I spent some time reading over a few posts and voting for their submissions as well. 

Finally! Time to pay those bills. Except, gosh, couldn't this whole crazy scenario make a great blog post? Especially if I mention the Painted Bunting I spotted out the bathroom window while I was flossing my teeth, in between eating dinner and sitting down to pay bills the first time? The one I captured in my camera when I left mid-floss to sneak out the back door and creep up on via the side porch?

And that's why I never seem to get anything done. I blame it all on LinkedIn. Now excuse me, but I really need to finish flossing, pay those bills and get in bed.

Oh, but first...

 

Birthday Cards and other sweet!s

Does anyone read blog posts in the middle of the night? It seems it's the only time I finally get to post, after finishing up the higher priority items on my to-do lists. 

BlogHer is asking for nominations for their Voices of the Year, in the categories of Heart, Humor, Inspiration, and OpEd. I had thought about nominating myself (that's what you do when you get older - you quit waiting on other people to toot your horn - you just do it yourself!) but to be honest, I can't think of a post that might have a chance of winning, so I'll probably just wait until next year.

I'm not putting myself down...it's just that I don't post about controversial stuff. And I don't cuss. Or have small children. I'm not an alcoholic or drug addict who had an abortion at 18.

I'm not complaining - I know I'm blessed. But those seem to be the criteria in the posts with the highest ratings, along with alcoholism, drug abuse, and abortions.

 I have too many other things on my plate to worry about. Namely, a wedding (my son's) and finding a job which is more than a job, but a career. And writing a book. And...

Okay, I'll stop and get on with this post, which is about birthday cards and other sweet!s of the past week.

 

Next year for my birthday, I'm going to go to Barton Springs Pool and wear a bucket on my head.

 

 

This is the card my son gave me. Inside it says: "It's your birthday, so take it easy. Relax. Wear a bucket on your head. Whatever."

 And he wrote: "Do you want to go to Barton Springs and wear a bucket on your head?

If I had said yes, he would have cringed, but I know he would have gone along with me, and my other two kids as well. As I've already said once in this post, I'm blessed. (Of course, they would have pretended they didn't know me, but that's understandable.)

My friend Tamara (Tamara, Tamara, Tamara!) sent me a card that proves she knows me very well...

 

 

And here are some other sweet!s of the week...

Monday: antelope horn blooming; spotting a rabbit's tail on a morning walk; a hug from an old co-worker/friend; reminiscing with a friend about your kids and old times

Tuesday: Russian accents; meeting a Headhunter who promised to critique your resume; a blog friend requesting to buy a series of your photos

Wednesday: a walk in the rain with your pups during a drought; homemade chicken soup and a fire in a fireplace on a cold, rainy day in a vineyard

 

Thursday: wildflowers bordering a Texas highway (they were beautiful, but I had to wait to take the photo when I was stopped at a red light, where they were more sparse); standing by your friend when she says goodbye to her mother; sharing memories of your childhood with people you still call friends; an evening with your parents

 

Friday: coffee and reading the newspaper at the kitchen table with your dad; sneaking a photo of your dad with your phone; new growth in an old neighborhood; red-winged blackbirds; splashes of primroses on a roadside that remind you of your wedding 30 years agoan afternoon with your daughter and seeing both of your sons

 

Saturday: time for a walk with your puppies before work; two elderly people finding love again; patches of bluebonnets; going to bed earlier than you expected 

Sunday: waking early enough to go to early Mass; the joy on your puppies' faces when you take them for a walk; baby turtles; your writing group liking your latest story; getting a lot of stuff done on your day off

I hope you have a fantastic week, full of sweet! moments! I'll leave you with one of my favorite photos...the red-winged blackbirds ignoring the kitties in my parents' backyard to meet at the birdbath...

 

 

Birthdays, Austin Adventures, and other Sweet!s

Once you reach a certain age, numbers become surreal. They change (faster and faster and faster) but you feel the same.

Wasn't it only yesterday I was cage dancing in honor of my 50th birthday? 

Way back in my thirties and forties, I set some goals for myself. By my 50th birthday, I planned to have graduated with at least a bachelor's degree and have a book published. There was also some vague notion that I would be able to play something that resembled music on my drums.

As that birthday approached, I cut myself some slack and extended the deadline to my 55th birthday. Surely that would be enough time to accomplish at least one of those goals.

Well, here I am at 54, and I know if the good Lord lets me reach my 55th birthday, odds are it's going to be without a degree or a published book, and my drumming will most likely continue to be a lot of loud noise that makes me happy...and everyone else want to plug their ears.

At first I thought about extending the deadline for those goals to 60. Instead, I'm tossing deadlines aside. Period. There are still dreams I'd like to see come true, but life is hard enough without the extra pressure we put on ourselves.

So more than ever, my goal for this year is just to take life as it comes, day by day, and do the best I can.

If I never get any closer to realizing those dreams than where I'm standing today, I'm okay with that. It's a good place, no, it's a great place to be.

I am truly blessed.

Yesterday my kids joined me as tour guides for a day of Austin Adventures. Despite living in the area for almost 20 years, there are so many "Austin" things I've never experienced.

We only made a dent in the list, but it was a great day, starting with brunch at Cherrywood Coffeehouse with my oldest, Tommy, and Andrew, a longtime friend of Tommy's from high school and college days...plus Andrew's beautiful wife and two precious kids. 

I believe birthdays are for experiencing 'firsts', so I ordered a smoked crayfish omelette...my first time to eat crayfish. And it was yummy!

From there we picked up my other two kids and headed for the eclectic shops lining South Congress. Costumes, art, antiques, and lots of interesting junk.  

There were also street musicians and food trailers! Oh, so many food trailers!

Still full from brunch, I settled on a 24 Carrot cupcake from the Hey Cupcake! trailer and shared it with the kids.

(Great timing! My future daughter-in-law was across the street at Home Slice with her best friend, on a break from wedding errands, so I even got to see her, which was like getting more cream cheese icing on my cupcake!)

From there we went to the highest spot in Austin - Mount Bonnell. By the time you drive there, it's only a few flights of stone steps to the top, where you get a gorgeous view of Lake Austin in one direction and the Austin skyline in the other. 

 

It's not exactly mountain-climbing. But my kids zoomed ahead of me and I was out of breath by the time I joined them at the top.

I have an old, old, old postcard that features a photograph of the state capital from Mount Bonnell and wanted to reproduce it. So you can imagine how disappointed I was that someone had the gall to build something mostly blocking the capital from view. Sigh.

You can barely see the tip of the capital peeking up, but the University of Texas Tower is standing proud and unobstructed at least, there on the left.

 

When I saw that I was testing the patience of my kids with all of the photos of us that I asked strangers to take and the amazing views, we headed to our last stop: Rainey Street, a historic dictrict recently converted to a strip of bars and restaurants.

I was ready for something to eat and drink, but I confess the biggest draw for me to Rainey Street was Geraldine, a guinea fowl who lives in the area. She's been in the news, trying to warn people of her existence so she doesn't get run over. She even has her own Facebook page.

So you can imagine my excitement when, as soon as we pulled into a parking space, Daniel said "Hey, there's a guinea fowl pecking at the tires."

In a flash I was scrambling out of the car, telling her how pretty she was and snapping photos. Yes, I was star struck. Oh, if we had only known about her back when Frankie was alive. They would have made a beautiful couple!

 

I caught up to my kids and we headed into Craft Pride, where there's a mind-boggling selection of craft beers. My taste for beer is slowly recovering from the initial menopausal shock from a few years ago. I'm not sure if that's good or bad, but it was fun sitting on the patio behind the bar, sipping on a beer and talking to my kids.

(That just seems so weird.)

After that, we wandered down the street, trying to decide where to eat. We picked the Javelina Bar, because Tommy had been there before. The food was great! (So were the Bloody Mary's. Hey, it was my birthday, and I had a designated driver!)

I have to thank my wonderful kids again for helping me celebrate my birthday. I've always had lots of fun with them, whether it was visiting the playground at McDonald's or the Natural Science Museum in Houston or the zoo, and it's still awesome to spend so much time with them.

If I never accomplish a single thing in my life, it's okay with me, because I played a part in bringing those three into this world. And that's something special. In a good way. 

And then, would you believe the fun  and celebrations continued today?  I met some of my local Deer Park Divas at Jack Allen's Kitchen for an amazing brunch. (I swear I've gained 10 pounds this weekend!)

Gwen made a Red Velvet Cake and Darla solicited contributions for a gift card for me to buy some cowboy - er, cowgirl - boots. I've been trying and trying to win some through contests on Facebook, with no success. I think they felt sorry for me.

My friends are so sneaky and amazing and I love them all.

As I said, I am blessed. Amen.

And now for the official "Sweet!" list from the past week...

 

Monday: listening to the writings of 4th graders; the silky soft fur of a bunny rabbit; taking a break on a small terrace beside a little pond with your husband, listening to the birds sing above you and the trickle of a small waterfall

Tuesday: finishing a long walk with your puppies just before the rain begins; enjoying the sight, sound, and smell of a spring shower from the shelter of your porch; fewer mice turds in your car, indicating the party might be moving somewhere else; a day of much-needed heavy rain

Wednesday: recovering from your fright long enough to remove the little mouse hiding in your glove box and place it in the woods; gumbo with grilled shrimp and smoked duck for lunch on a rainy day; two days in a row of customers with British-y accents; no damage from the high winds that kept you awake the night before

Thursday: no more mouse poop in your car!; gathering with friends for a movie and dinner, especially when it's in honor of your birthday; movies starring Billy Crystal and Bette Midler

 

Friday: picking up your new $1 iPhone from the post office; amazing magic tricks performed by a high school student; {bittersweet} getting off work early enough to attend a friend's funeral

Saturday: your 54th birthday; brunch with your son and his friend; seeing your son's childhood friends all grown up, with kids of their own; exploring Austin with your kids as tour guides; the view of Austin from Mount Bonnell; Hey Cupcake; meeting Geraldine the Rainey Street Guinea Fowl

Sunday: pancakes after Mass; continuing your birthday celebration with sweet friends, a delicious brunch buffet, Bloody Mary's, and Red Velvet Cake; friends who pool funds together to get you something you couldn't afford to get yourself; Polish pottery; helping a friend celebrate her book release (Susie Kralovansky's "There Was a Tall Texan Who Swallowed A Flea"); an afternoon walk in warm sunshine with your puppies

 

 

I hope you all had a week full of sweet! moments! If you don't think you did, pay more attention! I swear, they're there!

 

 

Linking with

A Note From Your Waiter: Do Not Call me Toots

 

Do not call me Toots.

My name is Barbara. If you forget it and need my attention, you can call me "ma'am", or say "excuse me" or "pardon me".

But Toots? Per Wikipedia, Toots is a slang term for "babe" or "sweetie" or "honey," or, more-negatively, "tart" or "prostitute."  

Who, or what, do you think I am - or perhaps I should ask, who do you think you are - that you can be so disrespectful to a stranger?

I am a part-time waiter right now, because I need the extra money to help pay for my kids' college tuitions so I can afford my own...to support my writing and photography passions...to get me up and away from the computer I'm glued to the rest of the time, to be active and talk to people, which I love.

But waiting tables in a winery restaurant isn't my dream job, and I'm looking for something else, but what if it was? What if this was what I wanted to do the rest of my life? Serving people, helping them relax and enjoy themselves...there are worse jobs out there, far less enjoyable and rewarding. And if I make it look easy...well, believe me, it takes a set of skills that a lot of people do not have.

Oh, and if you arrive before the restaurant opens, please be patient. It will be a few minutes before your order can be taken because there are just some things that I need to take care of first...

 

The three women arrived early, before the restaurant opened for business. They were already seated at a table with water and menus, courtesy of our office manager who works a normal 9 to 5 job, when I walked in and jumped right to work, bringing up the computer so I could enter orders, pulling the reds out of the chiller so they will be room temperature, tucking an order pad and pen into my apron. They were younger than me. Early to mid-thirties, I guessed.

I was behind the counter preparing the register when one waved a menu at me and said "We're ready, Toots."

Toots? my ears repeated, asking themselves if they heard what they thought they heard. 

"Okay, just a second," I somehow managed to say with a smile and not one ounce of saccharin sweetness. 

I made sure to state my name, loud and clear, when I took their order. I treated them with respect, and they left large donations to the World of Children Fund, the nonprofit group we support in lieu of tips. And they didn't call me Toots again.

 

But speaking of children...

 

I'm all for taking your children out to eat with you. I know how confining life with small ones can be. Besides, what better way to teach them how to behave in a restaurant? 

But if your children are still too young to learn, get a babysitter. Stay home. Or at the very least, accept your waiter's offer of a high chair so your little one doesn't wander around bothering other guests and touching breakable glassware and expensive vases...

This young couple had two precious little girls, one about 7 months old, the other about 2 years old. Despite several offers, they refused a high chair for the 2-year-old, instead allowing her to stand in the chairs or wander about the restaurant, unconcerned about the other patrons or the fragile wine glasses or silverware she was touching...until I uttered a warning out of fear she would hurt herself, which scared the little girl into staying close to her parents.

For awhile.

Still, they were a cute couple and I didn't have many other customers. There were no broken glasses, no falls from the chair, no complaints. And after they left with lots of tips from me about places to visit in Austin, and I was sweeping up all of the cracker and bread crumbs littering the floor under and around their table, I remembered another floor covered in crackers...

One evening when our oldest was in the high chair and saltine cracker stage, Tom and I had a serious craving for seafood, so we took a drive out to our favorite restaurant. By the time we left, a three foot radius around our son's high chair was covered in cracker crumbs.

I was mortified, but wasn't sure what to do, other than leave a large tip and not return until our kids were old enough to know that saltines were not edible playthings.

Ah, paybacks.

Which I guess means they'll get theirs some day, too, both the young couple and the woman who called me Toots. Just another circle of Life.

And that makes me smile, because I'm human, after all.

(Hey, wait a minute! I never called a waiter Toots. Just proof that Life is also unfair and has a warped sense of humor, I suppose.)

If the Hard Hat Fits...

His eyes were blue. Such an intense blue they gave me the creeps. Maybe that's what it was, the intensity rather than the color. Paired with a scraggly beard, the whole package reminded me too much of Charles Manson.

"Yeah, we should all get together one weekend...you, your boyfriend, me, my girlfriend." We were making our afternoon round to all of the welders, tallying weld counts at the construction site where we shared welder's helper duties. 

"Sure, that would be fun," I told him, with no intention of ever doing such a thing. In all honesty, it wasn't just because he totally creeped me out. My boyfriend  wasn't the type to double date with co-workers of mine, anyway. Heck, I could barely get him to go on a date with me. 

But that's another story.

Blue Eyes (I can't remember his name) was just one of the characters I met in those two months I spent at the muddy, mosquito-infested construction site where my mother's boyfriend scored me a job. It was a good 'ole boy network back then...although I'm quickly realizing in my current job search that networking and knowing the "right" people is still a big asset.

Today I'm not sure whether I should bless R.L. for getting me that job, or curse him. I had dropped out of college, throwing away a full scholarship in chemical engineering, because I felt a dramatically desperate need to get a place of my own following my parents' divorce. My flaky 19-year-old brain had it all planned: I would get a job at one of the chemical plants where I could make enough to pay my rent and my own way through school. I didn't need that scholarship. Heck no. I could do it myself.

After spending days driving up and down the Houston Ship Channel, filling out one application after another, I was grateful for the welder's helper job. I think it paid a whopping $4 an hour - not huge money, but enough to get my own apartment. We worked four 10-hour days, receiving our brass tags in the morning and returning them to the brass shack when we left. 

The mud and the mosquitoes and creepy Blue Eyes were bad enough, but the worst part of the job were the Port-a-Potties, nasty in every sense of the word, including the graffiti inside and out. Why do some guys love drawing penises? 

If at any time during the day I needed to use the restroom, I went home 'sick'. Do you blame me? After all the road trips we've taken, Tom has a hard time believing I ever made it through a full ten-hour day.

On the up side, I had a crash course in character. There were some good people there. One welder in particular stands out, B.J. Johnson. I don't remember how I knew he was a good guy. Perhaps just through some conversations, probably the way he talked about his wife and kids or the way he treated me. He went on to work at a neighboring chemical plant with a friend of mine.

I was glad he got out of there, because, by contrast, many of the people I worked with were varying degrees of shady, enough so to help me see the kind of person I didn't want to be. 

For instance, one of my foremen wanted me to smuggle stuff out of the tool room in my purse; the other one cooked alligator in the rod box for lunch - when hunting alligator was illegal. (It tastes like chicken, by the way. Hey, I never said I was perfect!) 

A guy who worked in the warehouse always talked about being high on Vicodin - it was prescribed for a back injury, but I don't think at the doses he took them. I'm pretty sure he was selling them, too.

The only woman I remember working with had a gun in her purse and a butterfly tattooed on her décolletage, way before tattoos became mainstream. Her boyfriend was in the Bandidos. I can't remember her real name, but the welders called her Moo-Cow, because of her ample, um, décolletage. 

Then there were the pot-smoking welders out in the weld-out yard, and the guys who would brag about cheating on their wives when they worked out of town and laughed about how they once chased a black man down the street, throwing glass bottles at him from their car.

(I had a few choice words for them about that. They didn't mention anything like it in front of me again.)

Also on the up side, I was hired by DuPont to help start up a brand new Syngas and Methanol plant because of my experience in and exposure to the construction site, even though it only lasted two months. (That's another "up" - it only lasted two months.) My gig at DuPont lasted thirteen years and three births; it paid for a couple of mortgages and helped with Tom's degree. (He had tuition assistance from the G.I. Bill.)

Maybe if R.L. hadn't pulled some strings to get me that job...if I hadn't been hired by DuPont...I would have given up and gone back to school. I probably wouldn't have I crossed paths with Blue Eyes and Moo Cow and B.J. and all of the others who made such a lasting impression on me, but I would be an engineer somewhere, maybe with more money in the bank than I have now.

But maybe I wouldn't have met Tom, had my babies, made those lifelong friends at DuPont, and learned how strong and smart I really am in ways I never could have imagined. 

That's just too many "maybe's" to worry about. So I'll just say thank you, R.L., for helping me get to where I am, and who I am, now.

 

I'm participating in The Scintilla Project, where we share the stories who make us who we are. The prompt this week is: Tell a story set at your first job. While I had held other jobs before becoming a welder's helper, it was the one that provided independence.

 

 

 

Make Good Art (Life)

Last night I stepped away from my computer before midnight for a change, set my alarm for 4:30 am, and before drifting off to sleep, asked God to remind me when it went off that I was excited about getting up so early because I would have time to write.

He did. And so, for the first time since the conference in February, I pulled out the critiques on my children's book, opened up the file, and began yet another revision in a silent house, well before the distraction of a husband stirring or a pink sunrise or a puppy's face hoping for a walk could distract me. 

I haven't given myself a deadline, other than to move forward every day, even if it's just to develop a character or backstory that no one will ever read.

On the wall of my office, right in my line of vision, is a placque, a gift from my friend Jill, that says "never, never, never give up" and on the other side is reminder from my friend Rae to "Find a passion and pursue it...never give up...do what you love...follow your dreams...make every moment count...be true to who you are..."

And who I am is a writer. Perhaps not the best, but I won't get better unless I write.

I even resisted glancing at my email this morning, because...

"There was a day when I looked up and realised that I had become someone who professionally replied to email, and who wrote as a hobby.  I started answering fewer emails, and was relieved to find I was writing much more."

Those are the words of writer Neil Gaiman from a commencement speech to a class of university art students in May of 2012. One of the women in my critique group sent the link of his speech to the rest of us.  

His words are aimed at artists, but since life itself is a form of art, I'm sharing it below with all of you, just in case I'm not the last person in the world to watch it. (That happens a lot!)

The speech is almost 20 minutes long, but every word is worth listening to. They were my wake-up call to re-focus on my book, but might be your wake-up call to re-focus on whatever gives meaning and satisfaction to your life. He has a lovely British accent, which makes it even better.

So turn it on, get up and stretch or do your nails or something while you listen. 

Okay, here's another little bit from it, if I haven't convinced you yet...

"Life is sometimes hard. Things go wrong, in life and in love and in business and in friendship and in health and in all the other ways that life can go wrong. And when things get tough, this is what you should do.

Make good art.

I'm serious. Husband runs off with a politician? Make good art. Leg crushed and then eaten by mutated boa constrictor? Make good art. IRS on your trail? Make good art. Cat exploded? Make good art. Somebody on the Internet thinks what you do is stupid or evil or it's all been done before? Make good art. Probably things will work out somehow, and eventually time will take the sting away, but that doesn't matter. Do what only you do best. Make good art.

Make it on the good days too."

~Neil Gaiman

                 

Neil Gaiman Addresses the University of the Arts Class of 2012 from The University of the Arts (Phl) on Vimeo.

Sweet March

 

I blinked and February was gone, just like January. Now March seems hell bent on keeping up the same grueling pace, but at least the scenery flashing by is prettier, dotted with the colors of Spring.  

Redbuds are still sporting their pink bling, bunches of yellow and white wildflowers are popping up everywhere, and bees are racing butterflies from bloom to bloom, too excited at the abundance to light for long anywhere.

Last night my friend Leslie had a few of us over for hamburgers and face-time. The weeks fly by too quickly in between our get-togethers. It was another friend's birthday, so we sent her a photo-wish, via Facebook.

Now I'll send it via Long Hollow, as well. I'm so grateful for all of these long-time friends and the technology that helps keep us connected!

 

Here are a few more March sweet!s from the past week:

 

Sunday: late Masses, so you can sleep in; toll roads when you're running late to a meeting; Mr. Bean, drums, a funny video containing both, and the friend who sent you the link 

Monday: taking a day off; your puppy getting a good report at his annual checkup; winning giveaways hosted by talented, creative blog friends, and finding the gift in your mailbox

Tuesday: watching high school theater students rehearse Snow White; spotting a turtle swimming with your puppy; a beautiful bouquet of flowers waiting for you at home, a gift from your future daughter-in-law; redbuds and prairie verbena blooming in your hollow

Wednesday: watching high school theater students rehearsing The Jungle Book and a King Arthur parody; fluffy sparrows and blue birds posing for you

Thursday: watching an old movie you love and a new one that makes your heart swell; conquering your after-work lethargy by running and writing when you get home; a walk with your puppies in the late afternoon sun; discovering natural stone sculptures near your little pond, put in place by your husband

Friday: the alarm clock snooze button ; the smell of spring on a misty morning; fish-fries at your church; Stations of the Cross; books you find it hard to put down

Saturday: sleeping in; a day for playing catch-up; dinner with dear friends; Siamese cats; skies lit up with lightning and rain on your windshield

Sunday: a blue sky washed clean of clouds; Quiche Lorraine and visiting with friends after church; a long walk with your puppies; yellow flowers

 

I hope March is giving you plenty of sweet! moments, too. Share them here! Now I'm off to try to convince workaholic Tom to play ping-pong with me on this glorious Sunday afternoon...

Five - ish Things on Friday

 

1. Today is my friend Debbie's birthday. I couldn't find the photo I wanted to post, the one of us dressed up like beauty queens, acting silly in her bedroom back in 1973. I've turned my house upside down and still can't find that photo anywhere! I used to be so organized...

That summer I was at Debbie's house more than my own. She lived right around the corner. We'd spend hours listening to her "Bread" album, watching and re-enacting "Ultraman" episodes, and talking on the phone to everyone we knew. Oh, those were the days.

Now forty years later, we're still friends. Even though there have been spaces in our friendship, this past year when my parents were having such a rough time, Debbie let me know she was there to pick up groceries or run them to the doctor or whatever they needed. Her mother volunteered, too. They both still live right around the corner. What peace of mind it gave me to know she was just a phone call from me and a few minutes from my parents. 

Friends like Debbie are such a blessing, so even though her card will be late (sigh) and I can't find that photo, I'm wishing her a beautiful birthday and a year full of her own blessings. She deserves them.

 

And I'll post this photo, probably taken at her birthday party forty years ago. That's her on the back row in the dark pink shirt. I'm the one with my chin in my hand.

I'm blessed to still be friends with almost all of those kids, and in my mind, that's still what they look like. 

 

2. I'm reading The Hunger Games series right now. It's a real page-turner...I'm already into the second book of the trilogy and that usually takes me months, not weeks. In fact, it's all I can do not to just blow off this post, settle on the couch, and read! 

But there's a see-saw love triangle that's driving me crazy. I'm sure there's a point, but it's making the story drag for me. Have you read it? Did you feel that way or is it just me?

 

 

3. I've been blogging for almost 5 years now! That's hard for me to believe. Along the way I've met so many fantastic writers and photographers, and made lasting friendships with people I've never even met in person. (Yes, that's possible!)

In general, bloggers are thoughtful, supportive, and generous, and I have two great examples: 

~Through a recent Valentine's Day Blog Hop, I met Vicki at LoNg OvErduE/BooK ReNewaL. She hosted a giveaway in honor of Valentine's Day and I actually won!  This beautiful Shappy Fabric pin she made from denim and silk arrived in my mail box early this week. (Did I mention most bloggers - except for me - are creative and talented, too?)

 

 

~Knowing I'm a wanna be drummer, my friend Bill ("A Few Clowns Short") sent me a link to a funny video: Mr. Bean playing the drums. It's hilarious!

~Thanks to another blogger/writer friend, Walker (A Woman's Page), I'm privileged to be a member of GenFab, a group "...for bloggers of a certain age looking for support, encouragement, information, blogging tips, and community." Many of these women have intimidating credentials and accomplishments, but on our Facebook page, we're all just "women of a certain age" who aren't finished yet, eager to help each other on our journeys. 

4. I watched two awesome movies this week, in the name of education. "A Man For All Seasons", about the struggle between Sir Thomas More and King Henry VIII which resulted in More's execution, won the 1966 Academy Award for Best Movie. It's so inspiring, learning about this man who stayed true to his conscience, even to death, and in these days of political corruption and rubbery conviction, I think it should be required viewing for all politicians.

The second movie was "Something the Lord Made", an HBO movie starring Mos Def and Alan Rickman about Vivien Thomas, a black man without a degree who partnered with a white doctor to invent bypass surgery, but didn't get credit for his work until years later. It's a very uplifting, inspiring movie as well. 

The students had to pay attention to characterization and conflict and all of that literary stuff while they watched, and even turn in a paper at the end, but I was pretty much able to just sit and enjoy the movies and get paid for it! I love being a substitute teacher!

5. Besides the funny drum video I mentioned in #3, two other friends (one of them a blogger!) sent me priceless videos this week. One will get its own post tomorrow, but I'll share the other here.

This will be me in thirty years, God willing. Be sure you watch it till the end. I dare you not to dance while you're watching! 

                                                

 

 So kids, the lesson for today is...

Don't stop dancing as long as the music is playing.

~me

*********************************

Linking up with

Five Things on Friday

1. This made me smile yesterday. Can you see the sign on the wall in the photo above? The table in the teacher's lunchroom at the high school was covered with platters of cinnamon rolls while on the wall beside it is a chart promoting healthy teachers. (No, I couldn't resist them, but I only ate half of one. Compromise. YUM!)

2. Guests arrived by helicopter at the winery last weekend. It landed right beside the vineyard. We all turned into little kids, like we'd never seen one before - everyone ran out to the patio and had their iPhones pointed its direction. (Murphy's Law: I didn't have my Nikon that day.)

3. There's something about filling out job applications, about having to condense all of my eclectic experience into one page and trying to match it to whatever job I'm trying to get, seeing that all of those classes I've taken over the past 30 years only add up to 61 hours, not 72 like I thought...well, it just deflates me. 

4. I'm going to a wedding shower tomorrow for my future daughter-in-law. I realized I haven't been to a shower of any kind in decades, and never as the mother of the groom. I have no idea what to wear!

5. Almost forty years ago I taught my boyfriend's fourteen-year-old sister how to drive a stick-shift. Not long after that, my boyfriend and I broke up and I didn't see his sister again. But recently we reconnected on Facebook and we're having dinner tonight! She's in town visiting her daughter. I love how so many of those strands of our lives never totally go away.

Hope you've had a great Friday!

 

Linking up with Ms. 4444's

 

 

 

 

My Pencils are Sharp Enough

 

I slept a full eight hours last night. And I cleaned my bathroom this afternoon. Two things I haven't done in a long, long time. That's about all I've accomplished today, but I'm okay with it. It's my day off and I've relished it.

Middle son, Daniel, is home for the weekend, mostly because it was time for him to do laundry again, but I think he also enjoys the break from the city and helping his dad with projects around the house. 

He's picking up pizza right now. After we eat, he'll be heading back home. Well, to his other home. I feel I didn't get to see him very much on this visit. The weekends go by so fast when you only get one day off. But I'm grateful for all the days I've been able to work lately while waiting for that Perfect Job to show up and sweep me off my feet.

I've let my writing motivation slip a little - it seems to be proportional to the amount of free time I have. For some reason it takes me so long just to get started that unless I have a big chunk of time, I make no real progress. I just keep reinventing the wheel. I've got to learn to jump right in and get moving no matter how little time I have. 

As Ze Frank says below, I need to realize my pencils are sharp enough and just start writing.

 

 

 

Discovering Ze Frank on my friend Walker's blog was sweet! Here are a few other sweet! moments from the past week...

Monday: getting paid to watch wonderful National Geographic videos; a whiff of wild onions in the woods; 80 degree temps in February; discovering The Louise Log

Tuesday: a cardinal singing to you and posing for a few photos; your puppy's overflowing joy at your return from work; your mom's recent bloodwork and health screenings revealing no major issues

 

Wednesday: an email from a friend letting you know you received two Posts of the Week from Hilary at The Smitten Image; getting two Posts of the Week from Hilary!; the gift of rain in a drought

Thursday: seeing your future daughter-in-law in her wedding dress; visiting eclectic Austin shops with your daughter; not getting stuck in traffic; crying over mother/son dance songs and finally finding the perfect one

Friday: that first sip of coffee in the morning; discovering someone you've known for a long time attended your elementary school at the same time you did; an afternoon walk with your goofy puppies; plump robins; working on your book

Saturday: fitting in a work-out before, um, work; warm February afternoons; hamburgers fresh off the grill; a sweet love story movie with your husband and son, instead of the usual shoot-em-up; another episode of old Dark Shadows with your son

Sunday: eight hours of sleep; coffee on the back porch; visiting with friends after church; a clean bathroom; veggie pizza

 

What were some of your sweet! moments this week?

I'm planning on watching the Academy Awards tonight. Are you? 

I haven't watched them in years, but tonight I'm going to settle on the couch with some popcorn and see all the good movies I've missed. I'm rooting for Silver Linings Playbook, but that's because it's the only one I've seen. Who/what are you rooting for?

Even if your favorite movie doesn't win, I hope you have a week overflowing in sweet!

 

Five Things on Friday

 

 

1. Our property is dotted with small iron crosses, marking the resting places of so many precious furry or feathered or scaly loved ones we've been blessed to know. I miss them all. The one above is Charly's and Frankie's.

 

2. I will never get rich monetarily through my blog, but the friendships I've formed because of it are priceless. I've met so many supportive, encouraging, talented friends, and two of them have recently published books. I didn't hesitate to buy them because they are both wonderful, evocative writers, and I feel confident touting them here even though I haven't had time to read either one.  

Love Always Wags Its Tail, by Kathy H. Porter, is a collection of short essays about the dogs in her life. Wolf Pascoe shares what it's like being an anesthesiologist in Breathing for Two.

Follow the links to their blogs and you'll find information about the books. (I received no monetary compensation for these shout-outs - only friendship and support for my own writing.)

 

3. The next time you go out to eat and the place is packed and you start to get irritated because you feel your waiter is ignoring you, please take a deep breath, realize you are not the only customer in the place and that he/she can only do so much at one time, and please, please, please remember your manners. Thank you.

(Oh. And if the website suggests reservations, either make a reservation or don't get upset if you can't be seated. Especially if you're bringing 7 of your friends.) 

 

4. Back at the beginning of January, I decided I would start getting up at 4:30 a.m. instead of 5:30 a.m. so I would have time to work out and/or write before heading to work, if someone happened to call me out. (That's the life of a substitute teacher - you have to be flexible!)

Well, I finally did it. Once. This week. Yay, me!

 

5. For the past week or so, I've spent hours tormenting myself, listening to one You Tube video after another of potential songs for the mother/son dance at the upcoming wedding.

I just sat here at my computer and cried and cried. It was beautiful agony, I tell you, reliving those mom memories. But here's one that made me laugh, even though I wouldn't do this myself..

(Actually, that theme from the Ninja Turtles brings back so many memories, I almost started crying in this one, too!)

 

Nancy at A Rural Journal inspired me to start my Five Things on Friday, although I mutilated her better-alliterated version, 5 Facts Friday, so I encourage you to read hers and add your own if you're so inclined! And I remembered Mrs. 4444 has a regular Friday Fragments hop, so I'll be linking up there, too. It's a great way to tie up all those loose ends from the week!

Hope you have a great weekend!

Signs of Spring, and other Sweet!s

Like the Munchkins when Dorothy first arrives in the (movie) land of Oz, yellow flowers are popping up and peeking out at the world, one by one, to see if the coast is clear and the rumor is true..that the wicked old winter is gone.

(Not that our winters here around Austin, Texas are actually wicked, but I had to go with the theme.)

And last week I spotted a few American Robins up in the trees, another sure sign that Spring is headed our way, despite the lack of buds on the trees.  

(Obviously, the trees have grown cynical.)

 

Spring shows what God can do with a drab and dirty world.  ~Virgil A. Kraft

Here are a few more sweet!s that popped up in front of me this past week...

 

Saturday: watching old episodes of Dark Shadows with your son

Sunday: Mass with your son; celebrating friends' birthdays with margaritas and Mexican food, laughter and hugs; a long walk with your son and puppies; watching the Grammys for the first time in years

Monday: rain falling on the hills; working in a school library

Tuesday: drizzly mornings and mist on your face; homemade chocolate and peanut butter covered strawberries; wood-fire-oven-roasted veggies; crab cakes; a call from your oldest son; new running shoes

 

Wednesday: watching the sun rise on your morning walk; meeting interesting people; joining with your church family to celebrate traditions of your faith 

 

 

Thursday: a Mexican Jay escort on your morning walk; getting paid to watch a video on Fitness and Nutrition; a text from a friend letting you know about a job opening; finishing a project; Valentine's Day dinner with the love of your life

Friday: first graders, even when they stretch your patience; silence in a church filled with people praying; dancing the Cotton-Eyed Joe and the Schottische; waltzing; stars dusting the hilltops

Saturday: fresh pizza when you're famished; the giggle of leaves playing in the wind on a stone terrace; making a dent in your laundry and email after a week when you've barely been home

Sunday: a deep breath and a cup of coffee on the back deck before returning to the fast track; making surly customers happy; news that your son and his love completed the Livestrong Half Marathon with their personal best times; sitting on the back deck after work, sipping a glass of wine and pouring the characters and stories buzzing around in your head onto paper until it's too dark to see

Here's to another Sunday and another week full of sweet! moments waiting to pop up and surprise us! Keep your eyes open!

Share some of your own sweet!s from the past week in the comments. I love to hear them!

(Typepad's new spam-blocking system is still dumping 95% of comments, including my replies (!), into the spam folder. So don't worry if your comment seems to disappear! I'll retrieve it as soon as possible. Thank you!)

Another Random Analogy, Kids!

Do you iron?

I don't. I mean, I can, but I haven't in a long, long time. 

My husband will vouch for that. He stopped buying shirts with wrinkle-inclined collars and button panels when it became clear he'd have to iron them himself.

"I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard." ~ Phyllis Diller

But yesterday I had no choice. We go through a lot of white napkins at the winery bistro where I work and they come out of the dryer a mess of wrinkles.

I knew I couldn't just bury them, so there I stood beside the board, elbow up high, working that hot iron back and forth across a white cloth napkin. I pressed and pushed and pressed and pushed, but no luck. The wrinkles would not go away.

Then a faint memory stirred. Ah, yes. Steam. I found the magic button, and poof! the wrinkles vanished with just a fraction of my previous effort.

I fell into a rhythm, back and forth, back and forth, thumb on steam button. One napkin after another wrinkle-free, folded, and ready for tables. My mind wandered. I had forgotten about that part of ironing, too, how it's so conducive to thinking about any- and everything.  

And this is what my thoughts brought back to me from their journey abroad...

The napkins are like us, starting out all neat and tidy and folded just right. Then we head out into the world. We can't help but be affected, usually ending up used and dirty. We make changes, clean ourselves up, only to realize that, if we take a hard look at ourselves, our hearts are still all wrinkled. We can work and work and work, but our own effort just isn't enough. We need help.

We need steam, and I believe it comes in the form of the Holy Spirit. We just have to ask for help and it swoops in and smooths things out. The trick is we have to acknowledge the wrinkles and want to get rid of them.

Today is the first day of Lent and that's what it's all about, taking a good honest look at your heart, your soul, your life, seeing the wrinkles, recognizing we need help with the toughest ones, and depending on the Holy Spirit to help us.

Yes, that's how my brain works sometimes. Do you see now why my kids hate my analogies? I'm way out of practice now. You should have heard the ones I came up with when they were teenagers.

But for those of you who read all the way through this, I have something to lighten things up: "How to Survive Lent 2013 or What We Gave Up". I may be Catholic, but I still have a sense of humor. 

So...are you giving anything up for Lent? If not, here's my back-up question...do you iron?

"My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint."

~ Erma Bombeck

We don't iron these colored ones. I hope you can't tell. I don't want to have to start, even if ironing is conducive to random analogical thinking.

(P.S. Update on the comment problem: I apologize if you've tried to leave a comment, but didn't see it. Typepad has a new, obviously over-agressive, spam blocker system, and all comments are being dumped into my spam folder. I even discovered some of my recent replies in there! I've notified Typepad and hope it's resolved soon. In the meantime, thank you for commenting. They're there - you just don't see them! And since I'm not getting email notifications, you're not receiving my replies.)

 

Validation (and other sweet!s)

I stood in the empty bathroom staring at myself in the mirror, repeating the same sentence over and over and over, forcing myself to look me in the eyes as I spouted my pitch.

Practice, practice, practice. Breathe, breathe, breathe.

There were two of them, one right after the other. They each sat at the end of a long table on the far side of a small room. I didn't come away with an agent begging me for my whole manuscript, but I did walk away from the two critique sessions at today's writing conference with validation and hope and encouragement.

Each of them, the experienced author and the agent, gave me suggestions on how to improve my children's book, but overall, they liked it. In fact, the author said she loved my main character. It made me feel the same way I did when a teacher praised one of my children.

Sweet!

(Everyone says they aren't looking for validation at these things, but it sure feels good when you get enough to make you feel your work hasn't been a total waste of time, and you feel motivated to keep working on it rather than tossing the file in your virtual trashcan.)

Here are a few other sweet! moments from my week...

 

Sunday: watching the Super Bowl with your parents; being able to check your email on your phone

Monday: plumbers who come out right away to fix your parents' broken faucet; helping your mom get to her doctor's appointment; the crunch of gravel on your caliche road signaling you're home

 

 

Tuesday: running for the first time in days; a slow day at the winery so you have time to take photos; recognizing one of your son's friends at the grocery store, despite all the whiskers on his now-grown-up face; Girl Scouts and Girl Scout cookies

Wednesday: a busy day at the winery, with great customers, so the time passes fast; the contrast of storm clouds and bright sunshine 

 

Thursday: the smell of crayons; the creativity of elementary school kids; an afternoon walk with your puppies; an oasis in the woods; a virtual trip to Prague, courtesy of a friend's photographs and Facebook posts

Friday: Great White Pyrenees and shaggy black labs you meet in the vet's office; a catch-up talk with a friend;  shopping with your daughter; paychecks in the mailbox; a son who bothers to remove a piece of dust from a tiny spider's leg

Saturday: your son waking early to wish you good luck in pitching your book at your writing conference; writing conferences; new blossoms on a redbud tree

 

I hope the coming week is full of validation and sweet! moments for you!

Here I Go Again (a BlogHer Book Club review)

 

Think about your life.

If you found a way to go back in time to some point in it, would you try to change anything? Would you take advantage of the chance for a do-over? Perhaps swallow some angry words you've always wished you could take back?

Or would you leave things just as they are?

I've been thinking about that as I read Here I Go Again by Jen Lancaster for the BlogHer Book Club.

For years I said I had no regrets, that I wouldn't change a thing if I had the chance because of my wonderful husband and kids. I've had my share of downs, but overall, I love my life. I'm blessed and I know it.

But the truth is I do have some regrets, and if I had the chance, I'd high-tail it back to the fall of 1977, breakup with my then-boyfriend and attend all of my college classes, instead of driving to Galveston and moping on the seawall about how bad things were in my life right then. (Why do some of us do that, make bad situations worse by creating new problems for ourselves?)

Without the distraction of a cheating boyfriend chipping away at my self-esteem, and by keeping up with my classes, I think dropping out a year later would never have crossed my mind.

I would still have met Tom, because I believe it was part of God's plan for us to be together. (I don't think it was His original plan for me to drop out - I think He just cleaned up what I messed up. He's good at that. Lots of practice, unfortunately.)

With a Chemical Engineering degree in hand, I could still have gone to work at the DuPont chemical plant, where I made so many great friends.

But since I'm not a character in a novel like Lissy Ryder, the main character of Here I go Again who does get a chance for a do-over, I'll just give thanks that God is able to make the best of our bad decisions if we let Him. 

Lissy is a former high school mean girl, all grown up and dealing with the fruits of her lifelong sharp tongue and selfish ways. She is forced to move back in to her childhood home when her husband files for divorce and she loses her Public Relations job.

Her twenty-year high school reunion approaches and, when she sees that many of her former classmates are huge successes, she gets the idea of starting her own PR company and soliciting business at the reunion.

Unfortunately, but understandably, all of her classmates despise her. Even her sweet, long-suffering best friend Nicole finally dumps her on one of those former classmates when Lissy gets drunk at the reunion.

But thanks to that classmate, Lissy is able to relive a few weeks of her high school senior year, where she makes better decisions and manages to be a kinder, gentler version of her previous seventeen-year-old self. 

Waking up in the new present, she's pleased to find that everything has gone her way this time. She's rich, the owner of a highly successful PR company, and still happily married.

Of course, the butterfly effect being what it is, everything isn't as great as it seems at first...but I won't divulge anymore in case you decide to read it yourself, which I think you should just because it's so funny.

I did have a few issues with it:

• Lancaster implies that all Homecoming and Prom Queens are mean snobs. As a former Homecoming and Prom Queen, I disagree. (I hope my classmates do, too!) 
• She says (through Lissy) that having children makes you look old before your time. Obviously, I disagree with that, as well. 
• A few plot parts felt manipulated. My critique group would have torn those apart. 
• Other than Lissy and her mother, the dialogue and characters were indistinctive.
• Oh, and for some reason one character ends up bald after Lissy's trip back in time because in the new future he's in a bad marriage. Huh? 

But overall I enjoyed it. It kept me turning the pages to see what was going to happen next. I felt it was thought provoking, triggering a lot of what-ifs.

And, as I said, it was just funny! Lissy is telling the story and her running commentary is bold and hilarious. I laughed enough that I forgave Lancaster for assuming I must be a mean snob since I was voted Homecoming Queen.

If you get a chance to read it, I think you'll enjoy it. If nothing else, you'll give thanks your high school years are behind you.

What about you? Is there anything you would change if you could travel back in time?

P.S. This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are totally my own. Join the discussions on the book here.

 

On A Windy Day

A brisk north wind roared through the hollow this morning, whisking cobwebs from the corners of my brain and slapping my face with its cold hands, saying "Wake up! Look around at this glorious morning! Isn't it great to be alive?"

I love the wind.

It has felt like spring the past few days, and I was happy for the change in temperature. Nothing against spring or summer - I love them both dearly - but I'm surprised to find I also love winter and have been missing her.

(Okay, I realize to all of you northerners occasional lows in the 30's doesn't seem like "winter", but if you're in Texas it does!)

Belle was all energy, bounding and jumping and wallowing, and Max could hardly slow to a walk, which meant I had to jog to keep up, and I'm sure that was quite a sight with me all bundled up in my winter coat.

The wind became a cloud artist with the brilliant blue sky its palette, swirling them into different designs. (small stone #30)

I love clouds.

 

 

Today was my first day off in eight days and I relished it by taking the puppies on a longer walk than usual. We didn't surprise any porcupines, and didn't even see any birds to speak of, except for a few doves we flushed.

Max chased some field mice, though (mercifully invisible to me in the tall grass.) I love to watch him, with his ears full forward tilt, hoping stiff-legged forward through the grass, full of hope. 

I headed downtown full of hope myself a few hours later (but ears down) to hand deliver a job application. It's a position that seems a great fit for all of the skills I've gathered along my eclectic work-journey.

I hope they think so, too. Specifically, I hope they think my 20+ years of experience will be equal to the degree and 5 years experience they mentioned in the ad. Gulp. 

Yeah, it's a long shot, but you can't be afraid to go out on the limb. That's where the fruit is, right?

 

(I realize this is not technically a limb, and the fruit is probably poisonous to humans, but I think those little berries, whatever they are, are so pretty, don't you? They give a splash of va-voom to the usual drab green and brown winter. Hope you're finding some va-voom, too!)

(P.S. Thank you all so much for your prayers for my Daddy. He was finally released from the hospital Monday, and from what my mother tells me, is back to his old self...even driving to the grocery store yesterday. yikes. Please continue praying for them! I'm going to try to persuade them to move closer to us so I can be more help.)

(I just realized I've included more parentheses than normal in this post. I'm blaming it on that full moon!)

 

Linking up with Lissa's...

 

Choices, Decisions, and Foggy Roads

 

A thick blanket of fog settled on the Hollow every morning earlier this week. Heading out on my walks, I could only see a few steps ahead before the fog obscured the path. 

Isn't that the perfect metaphor for life, that our paths are hidden, clouded by so many unknowns? And yet we know there's still a path, even if we can't see for sure where it is leading us. All that is clear is this moment and perhaps a few seconds beyond, before the future becomes veiled. There's nothing to do but put one foot ahead of the other, keep moving forward, with faith that we'll make good decisions and end up where we're supposed to be.

I've been thinking about choices lately, triggered by my dad being rushed to the hospital again night before last following another mini-stroke. I can't run down there this time to see him or help my mom; I can't afford to take off work.

Tinged with guilt, my mind wants to drift to "what-if"s...

...What if I hadn't dropped out of college? What if I had continued taking college classes when we first moved instead of putting it off until the house was built ten years later, when we were facing tuition x 3 for the kids? What if I had snagged something full-time years ago instead of juggling all those part-time jobs while the kids were in school? 

Would we be so stressed about money now? Would I be retired, able to pursue writing and photography at my leisure as a second career, and run down to help my parents whenever they needed me?

Perhaps. But perhaps not. I mean, really, flirting with remorse over what-ifs is such a waste of time, isn't it?  The path was just as foggy then as it is today. And at least I thought I was making good decisions. I had a plan...the path just didn't go in the direction I thought it would.

And what about my parents? What if they had moved near us as we hoped? What if Daddy would take his medicine and eat the way he's supposed to to control his blood sugar? Other people's decisions often affect us as much as our own.

And now I'm peering into the fog, with more decisions to make. Tom suggested I go back to school full-time. He figures two years should do it. But, as the one who pays the bills, I know how tight we're already stretched. I mean, we're jumping-up-and-down-to-get-our-jeans-on tight.

Maybe you can get a scholarship for being old, a little voice whispers, and I feel a flame of hope flare in my heart that I thought was completely snuffed...the one that dreams of getting a degree. 

But then what? Would I teach? Would I be able to get a job, even with a degree, at my age? Would I have time for my writing and photography, or have to put those on a shelf for awhile?

Decisions, decisions. Will this fog ever lift?

To decide is to walk facing forward with nary a crick in your neck from looking back at the crossroads. 

~Betsy Cañas Garmon

************************************************

P.S. Thanks to Vanessa for reminding me of this prayer by Thomas Merton...

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going

I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end.

Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.

But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.

And I hope that I have that desire in all that I am doing. 

I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire

And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.

Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.

I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and will never leave me to face my perils alone.

Amen.

 

 

Rejection (and other sweet!s)

 

"Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow."

~ James 1:2-3 

I received another "sorry, you're not the right person for this job" email earlier this week. It was for one that I knew - well, I was pretty sure - I would find interesting and that I would be good at, but I didn't even make it to the interview stage!

I just know if I could interview for these jobs I'd get hired. Is that arrogant of me?

But at least this company had the courtesy to let me know I wasn't chosen. There are so many who don't acknowledge your application one way or another. Rude.

It's an humbling experience to hit so many brick walls. Until recently, I've never been turned down for a position. In fact, I was asked to apply for most of the jobs I've had over the past twenty years. 

I'm not giving up, though. I can't afford to, of course, but I do believe there's a job out there waiting for me, a door that's creaking open even as I type this. Yes, rejections can be a good thing. (I'll keep telling myself that.)

In the meantime, I'm grateful for my part-time jobs at the winery and the school district (but I do hope all of the teachers suffering from the flu get well soon!) I'm grateful for photography gigs and photo sales and jewelry parties and book reviews that put a little more jingle in my pocket.

Besides rejection and little paychecks, I've had a few more sweet! moments this past week... 

 

Tuesday: the first customer of the day at the bistro where you're working is one of your dear friends; your paycheck plus some; witnessing the sacrament of Confirmation for 30 teenagers

 

Wednesday: a wide open day at home to work on your book and your to-do's; playing your drums for the first time in weeks, and having it all come back to you; a Cheshire-Cat moon grinning through the trees with a silvery smile (small stone #17)

Thursday: watching the sun wash over the hollowa sun-warmed car on a cold morning; a day of errands with your baby girl; being reunited with your 26-year-old watch after its battery was replaced; dental insurance; new orthotics; the silhouette of hills against a salmon and blue sunset; a new book to review

Friday: the creativity and passion of high school student-writers; paychecks when bills are due; learning you're not the only one who still has her Christmas tree up; joining others to celebrate the life and passing of a friend

Saturday: waking without an alarm clock to another beautiful sun-filled day; puppies staring at you through a window, waiting patiently for breakfast or a walk; your husband taking you to and from work, so that you can gaze out the window at the beauty of the Texas hill country; iPhones and Instagram; laughing with your son over the silliness of "The Color of Magic" part 2 

“You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from.”

~ Cormac McCarthy, No Country for Old Men

Have you ever had bad luck later reveal itself as good luck? 

Surprise! and other sweet!s

 

I can't believe it.

I surprised my friend Darla with a Diva gathering in her honor at my house this past weekend. Ten women who graduated from high school with us piled into my house for a slumber party, one even driving from Louisiana to be here. Many more who couldn't attend still donated money for a Williams-Sonoma gift card.

It feels good to pay her back, even if it was just a drop in the bucket;  she has been a huge cheerleader for my writing and photography for years and has given me so many sweet birthday surprises I can't even count them anymore.

Her husband was in on it, of course, along with about 50 high school girlfriends who have been private-messaging about it for months. Considering that, it is truly amazing she didn't catch on, isn't it? (If she did, she needs to consider a career move to the stage!)

There were tons of tiny sweet!s while they were here, but I'm not going to share them all because...

 

 

 

Hehehe.

That little plate was a hostess gift from of those dear friends, along with the Diva wine coozie above and this cork holder below. Sweet!

 

And now for more sweet!s of the past week...

 

Tuesday: rain tap-dancing on my umbrella; finally completely cleaning out and organizing your old roll top desk after thinking about it for five years; finishing up an editing job for a recent photo shoot; the gratitude of outside puppies who are allowed inside on a stormy day; hanging out at home all day with your baby girl

Wednesday: a second day of rain during a long drought; working in a high school library with a view of the mist-covered hills; watching new episodes of Modern Family with your daughter

 

Thursday: a second day in the high school library but with a view of sunny skies; student dioramas of The Hobbit; plotting a surprise party for a dear friend

Friday: a day of errands with your daughter, even if it's just getting her flu shot, stopping at Chick-Fil-A, and grocery shopping; your daughter's help getting your house ready for guests

Saturday: your baby girl's smile lingering in your heart after you drop her back off at college; laughing in the kitchen with forever friends; pulling off a surprise birthday party for a dear friend; hostess gifts; pineapple martinis and mini-Monte Cristo sandwiches; a husband who will drop what he's doing to take a photo of you and your girlfriends; slumber parties, at any age

 

Sunday: hanging out in your pajamas for hours, yakking with girlfriends; chilling on a rock with your dogs and camera in the middle of the woods on a crisp winter day; writing groups; not getting upset when the edits to your blog post disappear, meaning you'll have to start all over

Monday: a glimpse of the Great Blue Heron just after dawn; working with special needs kids all day; a call from your sister and text from a friend; the fire in the wood-burning stove starting easily 

 

Despite the sweet! moments of my past week, there were some tough ones, too. Our community lost two awesome people in unrelated incidents. I considered both of them friends, but so did almost everyone else around here. I'm really, really going to miss their faces and still have a hard time believing they have passed from this world.

Rest in peace, Mary and Frank.

 

Pole Dancing

The little waterfall is flowing again. I heard it this morning when I was feeding the dogs. We've had two solid days of rain, and while I'm grateful for the rain in this time of drought, and for the sound of the waterfall, I was so, so, so happy to watch the sun reach into the hollow this morning and give it a big hug.

There was no time to visit the little waterfall today, though. I had to rush off to work at the middle/high school library. I never mind that - libraries are my favorite places to work - but today was especially wonderful because the morning sun blasted through the huge windows on the east end of the library and I could watch the clouds and the flags playing all day. 

To top it off, back home I heard a choir of frogs singing from the direction of the pond, echoing the song in my heart. (Sunshine does that to me!)

And so my small stone #10 was born...

Creek giggling, frogs singing, and flags dancing at the sight of the sun.

 

(ha! fooled you with the 'pole dancing', didn't I?)

 

The rain inspired small stone #9 yesterday:

Raindrops plopping on rocks and machinery, strumming trees and grasses, tapping caliche and a metal roof. Growing loud, then soft, slow, then fast, following the baton of an unseen Maestro.

Do you have any small stones to share?

A Sweet Saturday Morning

 

My kids will be here today. 

That was the first thought that crossed my mind when I woke up this morning. And I awoke without the usual pre-waking symphony of dueling alarm clocks. 

The sun had already made itself at home in the Hollow. Belle sat patiently outside the door, staring, waiting for a sign of movement. So before I started the coffee, I stepped onto the doorstep to tell her and Max good morning.

That's when I noticed the box from Shutterfly resting in the grass beside the front walk. I thought it was an odd place for FedEx to leave it, then ding! I realized it hadn't been left there - the wiggly puppy in front of me had moved it there.

As soon as I picked it up, she tried to melt into the front porch, hoping to disappear. But the box was in one piece -  no harm to the cards - so I just gently reminded her to leave boxes alone and scratched her ear. I also informed her, in a sweet voice, of course, that if the cards had been damaged she would be eating the cheapest dog food ever for at least a year. 

Whew! 

Now I'm off to decorate my tree, bake cookies, address Christmas cards, wrap a few gifts, clean house... perhaps fit a game of ping-pong in there. (One can hope!)

Later this evening I plan to watch Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol. I can't wait! I'm tempted to set an alarm so I don't forget!

I remember watching it every year when I was little. It's always been one of my favorites, and I'm so glad it's going to be back on television. I hope my kids agree to watch it with me.

Did any of you watch it, too?

It's been a sweet morning and promises to be a sweet day, overall. I wish the same for each one of you.

Here are a few other sweet! moments from the past week...

 

 

Monday: Happy Hour and the Austin Trail of Lights with your kids and their friends on a cold night; spinning under the giant Christmas tree at the end of it

Tuesday: snuggled under the covers, hearing your husband toss another log in the woodburning stove to keep you warm before he leaves for work; Texas weather - wearing shorts in December, after a frosty morning; your husband's project at work complete enough that he gets to come home for more than just a few hours of sleep

Wednesday: pink mornings; pajama day in a kindergarten class; reading to 5-year-olds; meeting deadlines; a husband's great attitude when yet another thing goes wrong for him

Thursday:  a live performance by Drew Womack while you do lunchroom duty in an elementary school; a Facebook friend request from your daughter for Christmas

Friday: snooze alarms; Christmas bonuses; seeing friends in the grocery store; Christmas cards and paychecks in the mailbox; surprise packages

Saturday: a morning with no alarms buzzing; finding your Christmas cards on the doorstep, but your puppy didn't destroy them; a great blue heron flying right outside your window where you sit typing your sweet! list; that great blue heron landing in a tree close to the house and staying long enough for you to grab your zoom lens and tripod and snap some photos

 

Every morning while the coffee brews, I glance at my email on my phone, always hoping for a job offer or a photo or jewelry sale. No such luck this morning, but I came across this Quiet Moment of the Day which seemed to speak right to me. Right away I knew I wanted to share it with you. Wishing you all a very merry, very blessed Christmas! And remember...

Take the time. Don’t be forever dashing. Try sauntering.

The word saunter has an
instructive background. It’s from the French Sainte Terre, Holy Land, and refers to the easy pace taken by the pilgrims who were enjoying the trip itself as well as relishing the goal. 

 
Life itself is a holy land, and deserves to be enjoyed en route.

~Joseph Gallagher

 

Taking a quick break to share this with you...

I'm writing. For the second day in a row!

Actually making a little progress, too, once I managed to ignore the voices inside my head who kept telling me to give it up, just quit, that it wasn't any good.

After staring at the screen and out the window and at the screen again, I finally said "Who cares?" and started typing. 

(Those first words after a few days away from my book are always the toughest. I need to stop staying away for days at a time.)

As if the voices weren't distraction enough, for some reason, I keep finding myself scrolling around on Facebook, but it's not toally a bad thing, because I came across the video below that a friend posted. (Thank you, Gina!)

It made me laugh so hard I just had to share it here with you. Ah, the memories.

And now back to my book...

(No, really. I mean it!)

(Well, maybe I'll watch it one more time.)

 

 

Muddling along on a Monday...

I woke in darkness yesterday morning.

A thunderstorm paid us a surprise visit in the middle of the night, giving us the whole shebang... lightning, wind, huge thunder booms and buckets of rain. Great snuggling weather. 

But a power outage, when you need to get ready for church and work, makes you realize how much you take electricity for granted, doesn't it? And you would think, by the third time you hit the light switch heading into the bathroom, you'd remember it's not going to work because there's no electricity!

By the time the sun rose, the dark clouds had moved on to terrorize other parts of the world and we've had glorious sunshine and dryer, cooler temperatures ever since... all the way down in the 80's!

Autumn has most certainly arrived in my part of Texas, even though the only color is still along the roadside in the form of yellow, white, and purple wildflowers. The only colored leaves are ones that succumbed to the long drought.

 

I met with my writing group last night. I'm still working on my book, even though progress is in baby steps. I even signed up to meet with an agent and an author for feedback at the writing conference coming up in February. That means I need to send samples of the book to them sometime in December...which means I need to have it {mostly} finished.

I love deadlines - without them I'd put everything off forever.

I've been subbing more lately, both in the elementary and the high school. I love the diversity of it, being able to help, and learning new things. Plus I love meeting new people. Even those a fraction of my age can be fascinating, like the third grader who gave me a refresher course on mancala last week.

What I don't love are rude kids, but those are few and far between, thank goodness.

Today is my sweet niece/goddaughter's birthday. I love being a Nina, but wish so much I could see her more often. Arizona is a long way from Texas.

This was from our summer reunion in Florida. (Nino Tom always grows a beard on vacation.)

Happy birthday, sweet Nicole! I hope you've had a beautiful day!

Through my writing journey, I've met so many talented writers. One friend from my screenwriting class, Richard Dean Johnson, has decided to tell his story in novel form first, just as I did with the historical fiction I'm writing based on my great-great grandfather's memoir.

Richard's story, Saving the Farm, was one of my favorite screenplays in the class, and I can't wait to read it in novel form, where he'll be able to better develop the characters and relationships without the page limits of a screenplay. 

Through Kickstarter, a funding platform for creative projects, he's raising money to hire a professional editor and publish the book in both digital and physical hardback book formats. Depending on donation amounts, supporters get perks, like copies of the book.

He's almost halfway to his goal, but only has a week left to raise the other half. Would you take a look at his Kickstarter page and possibly toss a few coins into his hat to help him with the project? You can find a synopsis of his book and information on how to donate on his Kickstarter page HERE.

P.S. I don't get a kickback from this plug - I'm just supporting a fellow writer who I believe in!

Good luck, Richard! Remember me when you're famous!

And now, my collection of sweet!s from the past week...

 

Sunday: a day with family; knowing your boys made it home from a road trip to visit their grandfather on his birthday

 

 

Monday: watching the Dark Shadows movie with your mom and dad; spotting a woodpecker just out the window; driving into a glorious red sky, headed home; a wiggly puppy greeting you on your front porch

Tuesday: a heating pad on a pinched muscle and a few more minutes to sleep; taking a day off for a slow walk through fall wildflowers and getting reaquainted with your drums

Wednesday: mist draped across a hill's shoulders; finally creating your photography business website; a whole hour of Modern Family, and watching it with your sweetie; following through on your promise to yourself to go to bed early

Thursday: getting up in time to run before heading to work; a refresher course on Mancala from a third grader (and winning!); elementary school assemblies; spending the evening with your daughter

Friday: your son letting you know of job openings he knows you'd love; finishing up a chapter in your book-in-progress; a call from a friend you haven't spoken to in awhile; a good news text from a friend; cyclops cookies, fresh out of the oven

 

 

 

Saturday: remembering the day your blue-eyed, dark-haired middle son was born; helping prepare for a wedding at a winery; celebrating your son's 24th birthday; pumpkin ale, pumpkin cider, and silly movies with your son and hubby 

 

 

Sunday: snuggling deeper under the covers on a stormy pre-dawn morning; blue skies after a night of thunder and lightning; power returning after an outage; spicy carne asada when you're feeling really drained; meeting with your writer's group in person for the first time in weeks

Monday: being in the right place at the right time to help someone; teenagers listening and following rules when you're subbing; high schooler's informational speeches; an afternoon walk with your puppies

 

I hope you already have a great collection of sweet!s started for this week!

Linking up with

A Morning Off

Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers, why not gather your own bouquet?

~ unknown

 

 

For the first time in almost a week, I went for a walk with my puppies this morning. I had a chance to work at the elementary school, but I turned it down, and I've only felt the slightest twinge of guilt about it.

The problem with juggling mutliple part-time jobs is never having any paid time off. Ergo, you feel guilty for taking a day off.

But I needed a day to breathe. To stop and consider and catch-up and regroup and indulge and tackle big chunks of projects. I needed a day at home, after days away, and days ahead already spoken for.

I discovered that flowers are blossoming everywhere, like it's a second spring. Purple and yellow explode along the roadside and spread into the woods. I think this happens every autumn, but for some reason it always catches me by surprise - but such a wondrous surprise! They kept my camera busy.

Belle and Max were overjoyed that I was walking with them. What a great way to start the day, having someone be overjoyed to spend time with you.

Then, for the first time in weeks - maybe months - I played my drums after our walk. I vowed again, as usual, to play a little bit every day from now on.

But even as I said it, I knew it was an empty vow. When you're trying to work as much as possible to help pay bills, plus trying to get a business started and write a book and take care of your family and every weekend you're not working there is something exciting going on out of town like high school reunions... well, playing the drums gets pushed way down on the list. But it was still fun today.

Next, I ran on the treadmill. As with the morning walks, it had been almost a week since I'd worked out, so I went easy on myself. I ran three miles, but let myself jog at a slower pace.

(It's funny. Lately I've dreaded my workouts, chafing at the time it takes, thinking of a million other things I need to do instead, like a kid making excuses to get out of doing her homework. But this morning, after not being able to work out for so long, I savored the opportunity. Weird, huh?)

I spent the afternoon focused on my budding photography business, specifically, working toward a website.  I purchased the domain and tomorrow, budget drained, I'm going to teach myself CSS and whatever else I need to know to build and design it. 

A lot of work, perhaps, but I'm just adding flowers to my bouquet. They come in all different shapes and sizes and colors.

I hope you continue to add to yours.

 

 

 

 

 

P.S. Thanks to everyone who nagged me to send those photos to Marilyn. I'm happy to report I did it! And if you're interested, I posted the photos on "For Marilyn, at long last" on my photography blog.

 

Linked to 

 

A Little Beach Serendipity

Quite by accident, I met artist Marilyn Lindholm in Port Aransas last year while on my annual retreat with girlfriends. She spotted me taking photos of something down on the beach - I can't remember what it was - and said something about my camera and mentioned wanting a photo of a colorful beach umbrella just down the shoreline from us. 

At least I think that's how we met, anyway.

What I do vividly remember is promising her I'd send her a photo of the umbrella that I'd already taken and then arranging to tag along with her the next morning for a photo shoot of a piece of driftwood she was going to use for her next set of artwork.

I also promised to send her the photos I took of the driftwood, in addition to the colorful umbrella.

We had a lot of fun rearranging a wine bottle and set of glasses around that driftwood log, snapping away on our cameras. 

But...I never sent her those photos.

Oh, I thought about it a lot. I wrote it on my to-do list over and over and over, but to no avail. I've felt so guilty about it all year, but the thing is, the past year zipped by so fast I never even finished looking at those pictures from that weekend in Port Aransas, much less editing them.

I know, poor excuse, but there it is.

So this past Sunday morning when I was returning to the condos after my last morning walk of the weekend, and a woman in a passing group spotted me taking a photo of a bird and told me she had camera envy, that she just had a point-and-shoot, and she was an artist...my memory flew back to that morning a year ago.

"What's your name?" I asked, interrupting her.

"Marilyn Lindholm."

OMG!

And then she remembered me and forgave me for not sending the photos on the condition I send her the one of us below, as well as the others I promised her last year. In return, she'll send me some of her greeting cards that feature her beautiful watercolor artwork.

It was like Groundhog Day: I had a do-over!

 

 

 

So you'll probably be surprised to know I still haven't sent those photos. (Or, maybe you know me well enough by now that you're not surprised at all.)

But it hasn't even been a week yet, and I did send her the one above with reassurance that I'll send the others, um, soon. 

I'll keep you posted, and I'll share the photos here, too.

(Until I do, feel free to nag me.)

(In fact, please nag me. I can't live with that guilt another year!)

Kids, Dogs, and other sweet!s

I had plans for this day off: clean my filthy house before house guests arrive Saturday. I'll hardly have a free minute in the coming days.

But Tom threw his back out Saturday, which means it's now my job to move TG's bed and other heavy furniture to her apartment since he's out of commission.

My sweet boys are pitching in to help. They're both asleep right now, along with TG and a few extra kids. They kept me up later than I planned last night; consequently, I slept later than I planned this morning. But they were hours filled with laughter and hugs and soaking my eyes in the sight and sound of them.

I think, for any Empty-Nest mom, there's nothing sweeter! I know there's not for me! Plans will be re-arranged accordingly, happily, gratefully.

Now Belle's sitting outside the French doors wondering what's taking me so long to get started on our walk, but while I ate my cereal and drank my first cup of coffee in this now-silent house, I thought I'd hop on here and share this sweet! with you: having all three kids home at the same time... temporarily.

(Please say a prayer for Tom's back!)

 

This photo has nothing to do with the post... I just liked it. Flowers still blooming despite the drought!

And now for more sweet! moments from the past week... 

Monday: being available to help your daughter when she needs it; Waterloo Ice House tortilla soup and onion rings, especially when you're really hungry; a sister who's a great editor/proofreader; starting Season 3 of Breaking Bad

Tuesday: remembering the photos of your daughter's new apartment you were supposed to email to the managing agency the night before in time to send them before work; pink mornings; problems with easy solutions; help with problems with difficult solutions; a friend who hears a song, thinks of you, and calls just to let you know; a Craig's List sell 

Wednesday: hearing the chanting of the Rosary nearby as you work; learning something new, all on your own; discovering another potential source of income; good news on your sister's health; riding a horse with a full moon rising above you; honest-to-goodness horses kisses (on your arm :)

Thursday: the full moon staying up long enough to tell you good morning; working on your book, a blog, your jewelry business, starting laundry, walking the dogs, and working out before you leave for work; a call from your baby girl giving you an update on her second day of school before you have to call her; Chinese food and a Meryl Streep movie with dear friends

Friday: helping people; watching the sunset and the moonrise with your sweetheart on a hill overlooking the Texas Hill Country

Saturday: another Craig's List sell; watching UT Longhorn fans at a winning game; meeting up with 1/3 of your kids

Sunday: waiting on considerate, fun customers; German Shepherd puppies; reflecting on memories of your childhood when you get word your mom's friend has passed away; all of your kids, plus a few extras and your grandpuppy, under your roof at the same time

I hope you're having a sweet!-filled Labor Day weekend. Please share one or two of them from your week here!

 

 

Thursday?!! What happened to Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday?

When I woke up this morning, light splashed across the livingroom floor, a "good night!" from the full moon who quickly snuggled under the treeline, out of sight.

Then tonight moonlight bathed our metal roof, making it glow. I never get tired of seeing that. One day I'll figure out how to capture a photo of it. For now, you'll just have to imagine it yourselves (or come visit when there's a full moon!)

This has been such a fast week, with very little time at home. Consequently,  my email has piled up... the laundry has piled up...  the dishes have piled up. But I did manage to send a short chapter out to my writing group this morning before work and got started on the laundry.

Before you think I'm complaining, I'll confess that Tom and I are hooked on Breaking Bad (via Netflix) and have watched at least two episodes this week. I rode horses last night and went to dinner and the movies with friends tonight.

I could have said "no, I have work to do", but I figure email, laundry, and dishes will always be there, right? Not necessarily true about husbands, horses, and friends.

The writing, though... I really need to make time for that. Photos, too. I don't think I'll ever get the balance down, but I'll keep trying.

 

Monday I spent the day with TG, mostly getting her settled in a new apartment. It took us hours to complete the move-in checklist - the place was a wreck! Besides being just plain dirty, there were tons of broken things.

I took at least 50 photos and then showed them to the managing company when we turned in the check-list. They really try to take advantage of those students and it makes me mad. But the woman I spoke to seemed as upset as we were and within a couple of days they had taken care of a few of the problems.

While I was downtown, I stopped by the camera shop to have them take a look at my zoom lens, fingers crossed the focusing problem would be an easy fix.

No such luck. The focus mechanism gears appear to be broken, requiring a month-long stay at the factory and a potential chunk out of my checking account. A replacement lens is totally out of the question right now, though, so I'll just pray this vacation does the trick and we have several more years together.

*****************************************

 

Dear TV Meteorologists,
Please get inside out of the hurricane. It doesn't impress me to see you trying to stand up in the wind and battered by the rain. It just makes me question your intelligence. I really don't want to see you hit in the head and killed by debris, or swept away in a flood, and have to live with that memory. 
Thank you.

I posted that on Facebook yesterday in a fit of frustration after watching Al Roker and some other guy struggle in the wind and rain of Hurricane Isaac while telling us how the wind was so strong it knocked down a piece of concrete culvert.

Yikes! 

I've been trying to keep an eye on Hurricane Isaac, praying for family and friends in Louisiana, but geez, those silly weathermen make me want to just turn off the television. What about you?

(So far everyone I know seems to have come through with minimal damage, thank goodness.)

 

 

 

I've been up before dawn every day this week, walking the puppies in the pink light of a new day. Both of Max's hind legs drag a little now and he has the bony hips that come with old age.

But he still grins and teases Belle, making her blast off and run rings around us until she's spent. He's still a happy dog and doesn't appear to be in any pain. For that I'm grateful. 

 

 

 

 

Horses, Photography, and other sweet!s

Thursday I was blessed to take some photographs for my new friend Lisa who needs to sell one of her Arabian colts. I know she doesn't want to sell that beautiful baby, but she's trying to be practical. 

She plans to post my photos in several places, which might lead to more horse photography gigs for me. Sweet and double sweet! 

For some reason, I expected to be photographing baby horses... but instead she introduced me to two long-legged teenagers, full of sass, showing off, but still needing their mommas. 

 

The magic of their beauty and energy erased any lingering fear of horses; I stood in the middle of the pasture, snapping photos as they bolted, trotted, kicked, pranced, and reared around me.

 

Aren't they gorgeous?  I'll post more later on my photography site.

 

And now, here are a few more sweet!s from this past week. I admit I haven't been as good about writing them down, but the important thing is I can feel them in my heart. I hope you have the same feeling, like your week was full of sweet! moments, even if you can't remember what they were.. 

 

Monday: riding a sweetheart horse named Ryan; teenagers excited to see you riding down their street on a horse and running after you to pet it; drinking a cold beer after a long ride; getting to know new friends

Tuesday: calls from your sweet sister and a friend;  catching up with another dear friend; cards in the mailbox, full of love, support, and condolences on the death of your Pop

Wednesday: riding horses along trails in a valley; horse nuzzles and nibbles; real creative progress on your book; an offer for a photography gig

Thursday: tiny yellow, white, and purple flowers blooming along the road, despite the heat and drought; discovering that people are still sharing their experiences on Jobs4Autism.com; photographing sassy colts; wiggly, happy dogs 

Friday: your puppy's face watching for you in the morning through the French doors; a call from a stranger, knowing you'll help them find a ride to church; Darla's cooking and dinner with sweet friends; old weiner dogs; moonlight splashing on your livingroom floor

 

Saturday: your old puppy's face when he's swimming; 2/3 of your kids home; great advice and support from family and friends for your photography business; watching more "Breaking Bad" episodes with your hubby

Sunday: attending Mass with your husband and son; familiar faces showing up to eat at the winery where you work; laughing with your kids at your husband's old photos, especially those of his old girlfriends; your sister taking the time to play with business card designs for you; more "Breaking Bad" episodes; getting to bed before midnight for the first time in weeks

Monday: walking at sunrise for the first time in weeks; dog kisses; your old puppy finally eating all of his food and supplements for you 

 

 

There was never a night or a problem that could defeat sunrise or hope.

~ Bern Williams 

 

 

 

 

Rhythm and Routines, Detours and Diversions

 

I had finally found a daily rhythm of morning pages, photography, writing, and blogging, all balanced between dog care and house care and working out and sleeping and Breaking Bad and pastoral council duties and trying to spread the news about our upcoming high school reunion and hanging out with my hubby and helping my kids and filling out job applications.

And then... kids moved home. We went on vacation. A cow showed up in our "back yard".

I haven't even tried to get back into a rhythm or routine yet, just keep bouncing wildly from one activity/project to another in my own pinball machine world until I finally run out of steam around midnight, feeling like I haven't accomplished much of anything. 

But I remember that what I love about life are the surprises and detours and diversions, like kids and vacations and cows.

So when my dear friend Tamara emailed that she would be in town this week and how about meeting for lunch at the Oasis,  of course I said yes. 

I can be smart that way.

Spending time with friends is one of my favorite diversions.

 

 

Years ago, the Oasis was just a restaurant perched on a hill overlooking Lake Travis. It had an outdoor area with a dance floor. I watched Rotel and the Hot Tomatoes perform there once.

Then it burned down.

This was my first visit back since it was rebuilt and HOLY COW! it's not just a restaurant with a dance floor anymore. It's a little village, filled with restaurants and unique art and gift shops and photography galleries and wine bars. We were there almost 5 hours, talking and browsing the shops after we finished eating.

 

 

We pretty much had the place to ourselves, which I liked, but I bet it's a hoppin' place at night! I'm ready to find out!

 

Disappointment

 

How do you deal with disappointment,

and what lessons do you have to share from those experiences?

That's BlogHer's Life Well Lived Getting Happy question of the week and it's had me sorting through my past, trying to remember disappointing moments in my life. It was tougher than I thought it would be - I think the way I deal with disappointment is to accept the feeling, try to learn from it, forgive or forget as necessary, and move on. 

But I finally dug up a few disappointments: crumbled friendships that I thought were rock solid, some broken promises, missed opportunities, rejection letters... 

I remember like it was yesterday finding that letter in my mailbox...the one telling me the Texas magazine wanted to publish and pay me for the very first personal essay I had ever submitted anywhere in my entire life. I was flying so high from their acceptance and the validation of my writing that I'm sure my feet never touched the ground on my way back to the house.

The low that followed when I sat down to write again was fueled by the fear of rejection. It was so scary sending that next essay out into the world, sure that people were going to read it, shake their heads, and whisper that my first success must have been a fluke.  

But I made myself write it and send it out anyway. I also read all I could about famous writers who had received numerous rejection letters. It helped prepare me for my own inevitable rejection letter.

In a way, it was a relief to get that first rejection out of the way. I was disappointed, of course, but I lived. And I also learned, because the editor, Ken Hammond, let me know his reasons and encouraged me to try again. 

Before the Houston Chronicle quit publishing the Texas magazine, it rejected several of my essays, but accepted and published two more.  And one they rejected received an honorable mention in a Writer's Digest contest.

The thing is, disappointment is just part of life. If you want to experience the highs... if you want to appreciate the highs... well, you have to expect the lows.

You probably get bonus points for appreciating them, too.

So... 

 

How do you deal with disappointment,

and what lessons do you have to share from those experiences?

 

Please share your answer here, but then hop over and join in the conversation on the main post HERE. To win an iPod Touch, leave a comment on the sweepstakes page HERE.

 

 

Ghosts of Fourths Past, Revisited

I'll be celebrating our country's birthday today by earning a paycheck at the winery. How much more American is that? 

But while I'm standing there listening to music, smiling and serving customers, sweating in the summer heat and hoping for at least a glimpse of fireworks, my mind will be drifting back to Fourths of the past.

So I decided to take you with me. The following is a repost from July 3, 2010. I hope you enjoy it and have a wonderful, sparkly, red-white-and-blue 4th of July!

**********************

I almost went to the Fourth of July parade this morning. If all the kids weren't home, or if at least one of them had been interested in going with me, I would have been sitting there on my usual curb when the heavens opened up and poured (not just rained) at 10am. For once, I was grateful to be inside the house, folding clothes.

Yes, I realize it's the 3rd of July, not the 4th, but our small town celebrates Independence Day BIG and needs all day, and a good bit of the night, to do it! There's a 5K run, followed by the parade down Dawn Drive and then everyone moves to Bar-K Park on the lake for booths, games, live music and, of course, fireworks right after dusk... consistently one of the best fireworks shows I've ever seen, too.

So I almost went, but realized that it just wouldn't be the same. It would be the first time I wouldn't have at least one kid to watch for, marching with the dance group, the swim team, the High School Marching Band, the Cub, Boy, or Girl Scouts. 

As much as I enjoy the parade, I don't have all three kids under the roof at the same time very often anymore, so I stayed home, and whew! I'm glad I did! 

The great thing about our country is we can celebrate the 4th on the 3rd... or the 5th... or the 10th. We celebrate it every time we vote, every time we write a letter to the editor or complain to our congressman. Or just by staying home and hanging out with our kids.

I still got my parade fix, though - I pulled out old photos of some memorable 4th of July celebrations. Much more fun than getting drenched at a rainy day parade! 

Paris, 1976 - toasting the Bicentennial with champagne and really missing the USA!

 

Webelo Scout Tommy leading the parade with the Boy Scouts 1996 (he's the short one in the middle)

 

TG, right in the middle of her dance group float, 1996

 

Daniel, ready to ride, 1999

 

Me, second from the left, marching with the Cub Scouts, waving to TG on the sidelines, 1998

 

The kids, waiting for the fireworks to start, 1999

 

Tom curbside with nieces, nephews, brothers...  watching fireworks in Florida last year

"You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is the patriotism." ~ Erma Bombeck

Happy birthday, USA, and wishing you many, many more! I love you! 

 

"That's the smell of money..."

I was born and grew up in a town nicknamed Stink-a-dena on the Houston Ship Channel. In December, the blue northers pushed the scent of the paper mill onto our street.

I still connect that smell with Christmas.

The plants lining the ship channel paid tons of property taxes, so we had great schools. That's one reason our parents moved there. The other was money.

Good wages. Good benefits. Good schools. What more could you want?

I'm not complaining. I'm really not. I'm grateful, although it's a conflicted feeling inside of me. I lived in a great neighborhood, went to exceptional schools, have priceless memories, and treasured lifelong friends.

I eventually went to work at one of the new chemical plants myself, which, along with his GI Bill, provided Tom the means to get his degree.

But I quit as soon as I could and we found a way to move from the area. I wasn't homesick a day, except for the sight of my parents and siblings and many friends we had there.

The best thing, besides the change in scenery? My kids' asthma faded away like a wisp of steam from a boiler stack.

"That's the smell of money." It's a common phrase in my hometown, and it's true. The trade-off wasn't worth it to us, even right now when we're so broke.

But I would never criticize my friends and family who still work in those chemical plants, or others around the world, because the truth is, all of us depend on the products they're producing, and we should be grateful to them. 

My niece shared a song on my Facebook wall today about chemical workers.  It's what triggered this post - she said it reminded her of me. In some odd way, it makes me proud. Thanks, Carol.

Without further ado, here's The Chemical Worker's Song...

 

 

Working

Mud. Lots of mud. And mosquitoes.

Foremen who stole from the company. Welders who smoked pot in the weld-out yard. A warehouse worker who bragged about being high on Vicodin. A co-worker nicknamed "Moo Cow", who carried a gun in her purse before it was legal and had a tattoo when they were still edgy.

Port-a-potties so nasty I would call in sick if I thought I couldn't hold it for my 10 hour shift.

I only worked construction two months, but the impact was indelible, as you can see. I learned what I didn't want to do the rest of my life and what kind of person I didn't want to be and who I didn't want to associate with, and had clear reasons why.

But without those two months, my scholarship in chemical engineering and handful of semesters in college alone wouldn't have landed me my next job at DuPont as part of the start-up team of plant technicians. 

For me, that job was supposed to be temporary - I always planned to go back and get my degree - but somehow thirteen years drifted by.

And then I quit. I stayed home with my kids, intended to publish essays and articles and books, go back to school and get my degree. Instead I wrote a little here and there, mostly for local papers detailing the Cub Scout Pack's latest accomplishments. I volunteered at the schools and for our church and our community and the kids' organizations. I did go back to school off and on, taking only one class a semester so it didn't interfere with being a mom or building our house or my volunteer work.

And I discovered that intoxicating and addicting world of part-time jobs, full of flexibility and diversity ... a trade-off that was worth the low hourly wages to me.

But twenty years, exploding property taxes, and three kids through college later, it's time for me to find an actual steady-paycheck, paid-time-off kind of job. A real career.

So I've spent hours and hours over the past couple of weeks thinking about where I'd love to work, filling out applications, trying to manipulate my eclectic work experience to fit the position at hand, coming up with creative ways to say "Although I've never..." and "Despite not having a degree..." and convincing arguments on why I'm the best one for that particular job.

And I can't help but believe something will pop up, something that I've been preparing for my entire life without being aware of it. Is that naive, to think so? 

I hope not. But I don't really care.

(Would you believe I made more money when I was twenty than these 'dream' jobs I'm applying for offer? And some of them even 'prefer' a four-year degree. Ah, the things we take for granted when we're young...)

 

 

A Father...

A father gives advice 

A father nourishes the body 

and the soul 

 

A father encourages

A father reads

A father lends a hand 

A father plays 

 

A father offers support 

 

A father sticks close by your side

 

A father makes memories

A father teaches 

A father laughs 

 

A father is gallant

 

A father proves age is just a number

 

A father reaches out 

A father hangs on tight

 

A father helps you aim high

A father shows pride 

A father sets a good example to follow

A father relaxes

A father listens

A father works

 

A father helps out

 

A father loves

A father dances 

A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty.

~Author Unknown

Happy Father's Day to all of you fathers.

 I'm traveling today, making a one day trip to spend Father's Day with my Daddy, so this was a repost from last year featuring my three favorite fathers - my sweet Daddy, my remarkable father-in-law and my wonderful husband Tom, father of my children.

 I'm blessed to still have all three in my life.

For those of you who can no longer wish your daddy "Happy Father's Day" in person, I'll give mine extra hugs and whisper a prayer for you and yours.

I'll also send you over to read Jennifer's beautiful words on love and fatherhood and imperfection at Ripplespeak... "there you are... i see you."

Kids, grandpuppies, and other sweets of the week

Nothing perks you up after a long night working a rehearsal dinner than being greeted by a bunch of kids you love, plus your grandpuppy, when your aching feet finally carry you into the house.

In my case this happened Friday night, close to midnight, and the kids included my son, his fiance, her sister, and the sister's friend.

The grandpuppy was sweet Josie, and since the kids all went tubing down the San Marcos River the next day (picking up my other two babies along the way for some sibling time) I probably saw more of Josie than anyone else this weekend.

But that's okay... it wasn't by much and I'll take what I can get! And what I got was lots of hanging out, talking, laughing, and a glowing heart from knowing all my babies were having fun together. 

My kind of weekend!

And now for a few more sweet! moments of my week...

Sunday: a call from a forever friend, and the time to talk to her; standing in the glow of the full moon on a summer night

Monday: an up-close glimpse of the neighborhood hawk couple; a forecast of rain when the ponds are drying up so fast you can almost see it happening

(unfortunately, no rain fell... still praying!)

Tuesday: overcoming all the hurdles that sprung up on the way to your day's goal; friends who take time to help you with your resume and job applications; dinner with 2/3 of your kids

Wednesday: spotting a heron couple; your husband home safe after working 16 hours through the night; lounging and swimming with friends in a backyard straight out of Home and Garden magazine; watching two precious fawns place chase on a golf course green (even though you're still kicking yourself for forgetting to grab your camera on the way out the door)

Thursday: discovering you actually captured one of yesterday's herons in your camera when you didn't think you were fast enough; a friend wanting to buy some of your beach photos

Friday: watching a red-tailed hawk fly across a pond; discovering new wildflowers popping up; vanilla bean cheesecake; couples in love; your oldest and his love waiting up to visit with you when you stumble home from work just before midnight

(buttonbush)

Saturday: a hug from your oldest first thing in the morning; listening to published authors share what they've learned; lots of in-store coupons for things you need at the grocery store; finally getting to meet with your critique group in person after having to miss several meetings; sitting around the table, talking and laughing with kids you've watched grow into adults

Sunday: a morning walk with look-alike puppies in small, medium, and large; visiting with friends after Mass; looking through a bridal magazine with your future daughter-in-law; watching an action movie with your son and his sweetie

Extra sweet!... I remembered to snap a photo of the kids before they left. 

 

 

I hope you had a week overflowing in sweet! moments and this next week remember to look for more!

Imagineers, Mountain Pinks, and Sweets of the Week

Wouldn't it be fun to answer "Imagineer" on forms asking your occupation?

I've spent the past few days filling out applications and sending my eclectic resume off with a prayer into internet-land.

"Are you our Imagineer?" was the title of one job post, and I thought "Yes! Yes, I believe I am!" I'm still waiting to see if they think so, too. So far no response. Sigh. 

I gave it my best shot trying to make ends meet with my extensive collection of part-time jobs, but it just wasn't enough, and I'm now actively looking for a real job. Not just a job, but a career that could last for years and years and years (which is kind of funny since many of my friends are counting down the days to their retirement!)

I'm looking for something that interests me, that doesn't make me writhe in anticipatory agony when I think of it, something that makes me feel I'm using and expanding my gifts. In the past those have always been jobs where I felt I was helping people and making a difference in the world.

But beggars can't be choosers, and although it can be colored and phrased in different ways, I feel we've technically crossed into begging territory.

I really don't like it. It's been a lesson in humility, one I guess I needed, but I'm ready for class to be over. So I'm sending off applications for just about anything I'm even loosely qualified for.

That's one of the problems... meeting the requirements. Many of the jobs I see that would interest me, and that I know I would do well at, require a college degree. Strike one. I anticipate strike two to be my age, and strike three to be my helter-skelter work background.

I'm not actually pessimistic about finding a job, though. I have that rumbly feeling inside that I get when I'm on the edge of an adventure, about to step through a new door. I feel God is leading me, just as I've always felt, and while I have no idea why my path continues to zig-zag, circle, and sometimes even backtrack, I trust that he has a reason for it. That's all that really matters.

So I'll just keep walking, one footstep at a time, knowing he's got the trip covered. 

This doesn't mean I'm putting my writing or my camera on a shelf. My drums might get a little dusty, but I'll keep working on my book and my blogs... continue with my freelance photography gigs... stick with Silpada and the winery... and I'm not even giving up on my personal history business. I enjoy all of them too much.

But they're like the floaties you put on your kids to keep them from drowning. Despite wearing all of them and treading my ass off in the water, we're just too heavy. We're sinking. We need a rescue boat that can get us back to dry land, ASAP!

Wish me luck! (And feel free to send me job links and tips! But only for jobs with benefits and paid vacation. I haven't had a paid day off in 15 years!)

Michael Franti's song "Hey, Hey, Hey..." was the basis for my 2011 New Year's Resolution.

It's still a great reminder that this moment we're in right now is the first step to our future, and the only one we have any control over. We shouldn't waste it.

 And now for a few sweet moments of the week... 

Sunday: catching up with friends after church; time in the car with your baby girl; husbands who can fix just about anything

Monday: a country joining together to remember and give thanks for those who sacrificed their lives to guard our freedoms; a day off with your husband; the red flash of a cardinal in the trees; progress on your book

Tuesday: living in a democracy, with the freedom to vote; running for 34 minutes when you didn't think you'd make it past 5; strawberries for dinner

Wednesday: feeling like a writer; a baby smiling at you with a wrinkled-nose, exposing two tiny teeth, while you wait in line at the drugstore; a puppy waiting for you on the doorstep when you get home; a long catch-up call from your oldest

Thursday: sunshine when your heart is cloudy; finding a lucky penny; a call from your sister; having your mom just a phone call away; friends you can talk to about anything; being able to wish your mom-in-law a happy birthday; in-person hugs from 2/3 of your kids; an errand day when everything falls together like clockwork

Friday: watching Romeo and Juliet in a high school class (skipping the love scene, don't worry) and flashing back to the first time you saw it in 1976, on a date at the Midnight Movies in downtown Houston; job ideas from friends; laughing at old episodes of "Dark Shadows" with your son; a text from your oldest with a promise for a visit

Saturday: setting teensy baby mice free in the woods (photos later); brick oven pizza; watermelon-cucumber soup; getting caught up on workplace drama; Mountain Pinks beginning to bloom

Sunday: attending Mass with your son; bags of home grown tomatoes and onions from a friend

My Sweet! list is like a bouquet of flowers I collect for myself.

Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers, why don't you gather your own bouquet? ~ unknown

I hope each week you discover enough sweet! moments scattered among the not-so-sweet to create your own bouquet.

Share them here!

Hello There

Has anyone even missed me?

For the past few days, I've been holed up in my office, focused in a way that's unusual for me, fueled with determination to finish editing photos from a shoot last month.

(I know! Shame on me for taking so long! I do have the relatively good excuse of getting my new computer, having to load software and learn how to do what I need to do, bit by bit. Still, shame on me...)

But I'm happy to report I finished the photos last night and mailed them off to my friend today. I also mailed a shoebox full of thank-you notes to friends who helped me get this dream computer that I'm staring at right now. I never, ever, ever could have gotten it without them, so the writing of those notes had also been hanging over my head, occasionally tapping me on the shoulder, and even sometimes tripping me when I walked by. 

I forgive them because I appreciate the reminders, but you can imagine how relieved I am to have them out of my house!

(Now I know my friends that they're addressed to aren't checking their mailboxes every day and tsk, tsk, tsking me on my lack of manners, or planning to de-Facebook-friend me because of it. But it's one of those things you feel inside, that you know you need to take care of and the longer you put it off the more it eats at you.)

So, whew! that's done.

During my outing to the post office, I also mailed a ring to a friend. This is a dear friend who lives a couple of hours away, who I just happened to visit this past weekend on the premise of her hosting a Silpada party for me.

This ring is the replacement to one she bought several years ago from a different Silpada representative. The stone had fallen out and I took care of the exchange for her. (Silpada has a lifetime guarantee.) 

I've been holding onto the replacement ring for a few weeks now. I mean, why mail it when I would be going to see her soon anyway, right?

It's weird...I remember the very moment this weekend when I realized I had forgotten to bring that ring. I was standing in her kitchen and it hit me hard, like a frying pan. Thank goodness Nancy was (sort of) forgiving and didn't hit me herself with a frying pan.

And hallelujah! that nagging feeling that I'd forgotten something went away...

Tom came along with me for the weekend and we had such a great time. Nancy and Paul are teachers who live out in the country, as in cows and chickens and kittens and sheep and tractors and gardens overflowing with cucumbers, squash, potatoes, peppers... overflowing enough that they loaded us up with fresh garden treasure... that now overflows bowls in my kitchen...

It had been a couple of years since our last visit to their house. Time always brings change, but this time the change was pretty obvious: an oil rig squatted in the pasture between Nancy's house and her in-laws'.

Oil is the new hot crop in those parts, especially after the drought of the past couple of years. Ranchers have had to sell cattle because they couldn't feed them. The oil boom is a huge blessing!

And that's why they forgive the rig its gawky incongruity with the surrounding countryside. In fact, Tom would really love to get one, too!

But I had looked forward to getting some more photos of Nancy's cows, and was disappointed that the rig had scared them off to some distant back forty. 

Thank goodness the Mama cat had had more kittens...

...and even though for some reason I felt too intimidated on this trip to snap any photos during Mass of their gorgeous, historic church, I did snap these afterward...

Nancy and I also went for a ride down the highway on a Kuboto RTV to meet members of their sheep herd (mostly to see the brand new babies) but I'm going to post those on my photography site, um, later. Hopefully tomorrow.

But there are still some of those items on my to-do list tapping me on my shoulder, so first and foremost, I'm going back into my shell to get them done before they start tripping me as I walk by. 

#1 on that list is "make progress on my book." 

Wish me luck!