Long Hollow

The Simple Things are the Sweetest

Dawn is waking to rain and thunder this morning. She must have pulled the covers back over her head because the Hollow is still dark outside my window, except for occasional flashes of lightning.

On a normal morning, the puppies and I would already be out on the dirt road, saying hello to the new day. Instead, they're snoozing in the laundry room, warm and dry and happy, and I'm playing catch-up on posting my sweet!s.

Rain is sweet during a drought, but especially when you were able to spend hours the day before feeling the sunshine on your skin.

Weeks...well, maybe months ago, Tom trimmed branches from the trees lining the creek. I told him I'd drag them to a burn pile, and I finally kept my word yesterday morning after my walk. I had a few free hours and was already coated in mosquito spray.

Even though the morning was warming up fast, the shade softened the heat. Wildflowers dotted the woods and a field of Mexican hats grew beside the burn pile. Birds chatted in the trees and the running creek sang to me as I cleared the creek and paths of fallen branches.

Sweat soaked my head and torso, tickling my nose, and bits of leaves and bark freckled my arms, but it felt good using my muscles to gather the branches, drag them uphill, and throw them on the growing pile. I've always loved repetitive work like that, when my thoughts are free to fly where they will.

The higher the pile grew, the younger I felt. I gave thanks for the morning, the sunshine, the flowers, the creek, the sweat...but mostly for the ability to do the job. When you're 54, you don't take that for granted.

 

And now for more sweet! moments from the past week...

 

Monday: friends sending you links to potential jobs; the anticipation of a weekend at the beach with girlfriends, even if it's still months away; a photoshoot with a fun family; wading in a lake on a hot day; fawns

Tuesday: relishing a soft summer morning with your puppies before a busy day at work; daily talks with your mom 

Wednesday: phone conversations with your mother-in-law; your mother-in-law winning $1000 on a $1 scratch-off lottery ticket; word that one of your photos will be featured in HuffPost 50 

Thursday: hearing a friend's voice for the first time in a year; dinner, lots of popcorn, and a Matthew McConaughy movie with girlfriends 

Friday: finally using a certificate for a massage your son gave you for Christmas; catching up with a dear friend; getting your client's photos to her on time and hearing that she liked them; old red trucks; your dad NOT having to go to the hospital 

Saturday: a road trip with your kids to spend Father's Day with your dad; your mom appearing stronger than the last time you saw her; hearing that your three Beach Yoga photos will soon grace the wall of a summer rental home belonging to a friend in Greece

Sunday: having the coffee ready and the newspaper on the table for your dad when he wakes up; hamburgers and cheesecake in honor of the father of your children; hearing that a friend was baptized this morning; green metallic beetles with orange legs

Monday: bouquets of mountain pinks dotting a hillside; a green heron posing for photos; sweating from physical labor; your little creek and nearby paths finally cleared of fallen trimmed branches; a few hours with, and a hug from, your baby girl; email and Facebook that can connect you to friends on the other side of the world

Tuesday: rain during a drought; unexpected time to post your Sweet!s of the Week; the moment storm clouds break to reveal blue sky 

I didn't quite finish this before the storm drifted past, with little patches of blue sky peeking down, reminding me to get the dogs out of the laundry room. I cut the walk short, though, and we stuck to the muddy road because I forgot to douse myself with mosquito spray. 

Mosquito spray is definitely a sweet! around here this summer. It's the simple things, right?

I hope you're remembering to notice the sweet, simple blessings in your life. Share them with me here and make them doubly sweet!

"I'm just a simple guy, I live from day to day. 
A ray of sunshine melts my frown and blows my blues away." 

~Jimmy Page, Robert Plant, and John Bonham, "Out On The Tiles" (Led Zeppelin)

 

A Rich Inheritance (Happy Father's Day!)

Friday my mother thought Daddy was having a stroke. She's seen enough of them to recognize the symptoms in him.

He wouldn't let her call an ambulance, so she called my sister, who in turn called me en route to their house. 

The kids and I already had plans to leave early yesterday morning to celebrate Father's Day with Daddy. I hoped we wouldn't be visiting him in the hospital, instead.

With my sister's next call, the relief in her voice soothed my worries. Daddy's blood pressure had already dropped and he seemed okay. She would stick around a little while, but didn't see a need to call an ambulance. Thank you, Lord!

So yesterday we were able to celebrate Daddy with lunch at Applebee's, just as he requested, and then hang out with him and Mama in my childhood home, talking around the kitchen table, dozing in front of the television...

...and giving thanks every single second.

We'll head home early today so the kids can spend time with their dad, too.

I'm wishing Tom's Pop a happy Father's Day in my heart. I can still hear his voice echoing in my mind. I hope it never fades away.

My heart goes out to his sons who are missing him so much today, this first Father's Day without him, wishing they could give him a call and tell him "I love you".

So I'll give mine an extra hug and "I love you" for them, and for all of you who are missing your fathers today.

In honor of Father's Day, I gave Daddy a print-out of "Why I'm My Father's Daughter". I'm re-posting it here. I'm so honored that it was chosen for "Best Lessons from Dad" - a slideshow on Huffpost 50 of posts about fathers. Hop over there and see what other daughters had to say about their fathers.

 

If Daddy answers the phone when I call my parents, our conversation is a quick one.

"I can't talk," he'll complain. 

"You sound fine to me," I'll tell him. 

"What? I can't hear you. Here's your mother."

And that's that.

Strokes have taken their toll on his vocal chords. The effort to speak is too much for him and his voice gives out after just a few words. Perhaps his hearing loss can be blamed on strokes, too. (Although hearing aids could help with that. Sigh.)

But he was never one to talk much, anyway, and especially not on the phone. If I wanted or needed to talk, I went to my mother. I could talk to her about anything, and I'm very grateful for that.

 

Daddy and I communicated in other ways, though. We teased each other and toured old houses. We fought over who was going to mow the yard.

He chauffeured me and my friends to the movies and high school basketball games before I got my license. He taught me how to drive, and tried to teach me how to play golf and be a better bowler...without much luck.

Instead, I tagged along with him on the golf course, satisfied to watch him and admire the beauty of the courses. We took road trips to visit his mother, traveling along the back highways with the windows down, stopping often to visit historical sites or other interesting places that caught my eye or his.

We square-danced.

 

 

But words still formed our greatest connection. I was seven, maybe eight, when I uttered that inevitable childhood chant: "I'm bored." 

 "Bored? Here, read this," he said, handing me an old, mildewed copy ofBlack Beauty, "You'll never be bored again."

Well, I'm not sure if those were his exact words, but they should have been. I was hooked, and as long as I've had something handy to read (and I try to make sure I do), I've never been bored again. 

Besides Anna Sewell's Black Beauty - and hence, every horse book I could get my hands on - Daddy got me hooked on historical fiction via James Michener and Leon Uris. It's still my first love.

He also introduced me to Leon Hale and his Texas-flavored, rambling, memoirish columns in the Houston Post (and then the Chronicle)...the inspiration for my own personal essays and blog posts, I'm sure. I still read his columns online.

Because of Daddy, I surround myself with books, and I'm partial to old ones.

I read our ancient copies of Black Beauty, Call of the Wild, Daddy-Long-Legs, and A Girl of the Limberlost over and over and over, and to this day the smell of a musty book takes me miles away in my mind to those stories.

When I enter an antique store, I head straight for the book section. Not to buy, necessarily, but just to breathe, feel, and say Hello, you're not forgotten.

Our house overflowed in paperbacks, too, though. Daddy always had one in his metal lunchbox, usually a Louis L'Amour, and when I followed in his steel-toed-shoe footsteps years later, I always carried a paperback with me to work.

Today neither of us consumes books like we used to. Daddy reads the morning newspaper, but then turns his attention to the television when he's not doing laundry or other household chores.

I'm always somewhere in a just-for-fun book, but it takes me forever to finish them, only cracking them open to read while I eat lunch. When I'm at home. And don't have something else I have to read.

But all of those books and words and voices still bind us, and despite the miles between us, and the words we cannot say, I feel him with me every time I open a book. 

Thank you, Daddy.

 

 

Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance. 

~Ruth E. Renkel

Tom and I don't have a lot of money, yet we are blessed with riches, thanks to our fathers.

Happy Father's Day to all of you who fills the role of father to someone!

 

My Tiny Taste of BlogHer Food 2013

 

I am not a food blogger.

Oh, I may write about my Cyclops Cookies, Tom's better-than-Hooter's hot wings, and yummy sushi from Eddie V's, but they're mingled with my stories about dogs and mice and dancing and friendship.

I'll never be a niche blogger of any kind, because I could never make up my mind. Well, I do have my photography blog, but it's still all over the place, subject-wise. 

So when BlogHer announced it was holding the BlogHer Food 2013 conference in Austin, I was more disappointed than excited. I've been wanting to go to a regular BlogHer conference ever since I heard about them, but they're always held in exotic far-off lands, like New York City, Los Angeles, and, later this summer, Chicago. 

Even if I could afford the cost of the conference, the travel expenses make it impossible.

(Dang it, why didn't they send the food bloggers to Chicago and have the Big Deal in Austin?)

But BlogHer must have sensed my discontent. They actually opened up the closing party to outsiders like me for next to nothing.  And because the closing party included live music, dancing, barbecue and one free drink at Stubbs BBQ downtown on a Saturday night...well, I couldn't pass up a bargain like that and the chance to get at least a taste of BlogHer Food 2013.

It wasn't until I was trying to figure out what to wear that it hit me: I was going to a party where I didn't know a soul and everyone else had been hanging out together all weekend.

Blah! But I decided to go anyway. I mean, I'd already bought the ticket. There was a plate of barbecue waiting at Stubbs with my name on it. I couldn't just abandon it.

So I went. It helped that there were several nametags waiting for other outsiders on the table where I checked in.

Until that night, I'd only seen four bloggers in person, period. I wasn't sure what I expected the food bloggers to look like, but I'll just say they didn't fit into any niche as far as appearance goes. No standard gender, age, size, or even taste in clothing. That helped me feel more comfortable right away.

I traded my drink ticket for a frozen strawberry sangria concoction, filled a plate with barbecue, and found an empty spot on a picnic table near a blonde lady who looked about my age.

I don't remember her name or where she was from, but we had a good conversation over the loud music. This had been her first BlogHer conference and she said all the freebies really balanced the cost of it all.

She left and young girl named Kayla who worked for one of the vendors sat down to eat. We had a good conversation, too, about trying to find jobs (she recently graduated) then she went back to work filling cookies with ice cream, and I wandered over to the photo booth where I met Sarah, who worked for the photo booth company sponsored by Ninja Kitchen.

When she found out I was from Austin and didn't know anyone (I tell my story to everyone I meet, of course) she wrote on a chalkboard and joined me in my photos.

I thought she was just feeling sorry for me, but when all of the photos were posted online, I saw quite a few people in photos by themselves.

I guess it was that Austin connection, after all, and not (just) pity!

The awesome music of The Grooves, an Austin cover band, lured me closer to the area near the stage. Small groups of ladies had finally started dancing so I just joined in.

(Would you believe I used to be shy? I know. It's hard for me to believe it, too.)

As much as I love dancing, I confess the highlight of my night was seeing Pioneer Woman. Yes, Ree Drummond, herself, stood just inches from me at one point. And my camera joined all the others snapping away while she was telling jokes onstage.

For you non-bloggers, PW is the Queen of the Bloggers, and not just food blogging! She has it all down: Home-schooling, Home and Beauty, Entertainment, Photography, Life on a Ranch in the Middle of Oklahoma Nowhere.

She's written a couple of cookbooks, a children's book, and a memoir. Probably a lot of other stuff, too. How the heck does she do it??? Yes, I'm terribly jealous, and that's what makes her a blogging Rock Star!

Finally, the last song was sung and danced to, I grabbed another bottle of water (They were free, thank goodness. Dancing on a hot, humid Texas night under the stars = sweat!) and headed to my car. 

While I waited at an intersection, I chatted with a couple of Pedi-Cab drivers. And they agreed to have their picture taken even though I wasn't a potential customer.

 

(This one got distracted by an actual customer, but I took his photo anyway.)

I love Austin. Amen.

 

 

 

 

 

Sons, Sunday mornings, and other sweet!s

I'm not proud to admit this, but I missed church this morning because of the rain. 

Right about the time Daniel and I were going to head out the door (Tom was still snoozing!) - already running late because we had to let the terrified dogs into the laundry room - the break in the unexpected morning storm disappeared and sheets of rain pelted the Hollow sideways like a firehose aimed right at us. 

I pictured myself trying to scramble up our rock pathway in my heels and knew an umbrella would be no match for that storm.  I'd be soaked in seconds even if I remained standing.

If I didn't have to go to work right after church...if we weren't already running ten or fifteen minutes late...

Anyway...instead of getting soaked, we went out on the deck with cups of coffee, gave thanks for the much-needed rain, and watched a little bird zip and flip and twirl through the air to catch tiny moths that drifted up from the ground.

I tried to capture his acrobatics with my camera, but no luck. Thank goodness he had mercy on me and posed on Tom's truck for a few seconds.

 

Anyone know what he is? We decided to just call him a Variegated Brown Moth-Eater. It sounded official enough.

Here are some other sweet! moments from my past week...

Sunday: fireflies; late-night chocolate chip pancakes, courtesy of your daughter; catching new things in Galaxy Quest that make you and your daughter laugh even though you've seen it a million times already

Monday: your son and husband making it back from Florida, safe and sound; being in the right place at the right time to be asked to (volunteer to) be in a commercial; Chuy's tortilla soup; not having a problem with eating in a restaurant alone; a stack of books from your mother-in-law, because she knows you love books

Tuesday: a friend who tries to get you a job, even if she's unsuccessful; virtual hugs when you're having a tough day; the right verse in your email to soothe your disappointment 

 

 

Wednesday: waking up with a sense of peace after a dark day; watching your old puppy swim; a field of yellow

Thursday: one last cut and color with your stylist until you find a real job; a hug from your baby girl; getting up the nerve to apply for a job even when you know it's a long shot

 

Friday: a request to photograph a fun family; progress on your children's book; delicate wildflowers on your morning walk

 

Saturday: a morning at Laguna Gloria; great critiques; a swan, swimming and posing for you; a sweet card from a dear friend; your son fast-forwarding through parts of the Matrix so you can watch the awesome fight at the end before you have to leave; going somewhere even though you don't know a soul there; meeting new friends; dancing at Stubbs BBQ; seeing Pioneer Woman in person!

 

 

Sunday: spotting a blog friend's daughter on the Today show, singing at Princess Madeleine of Sweden's wedding; sitting on a covered porch during a thunderstorm with your son; a blue sky after a thunderstorm; a beef quesadilla for lunch before work, thanks to your son; a dog that imitates a meerkat; perfect guacamole...and you made it!

 

I hope your past week was full of sweet! moments, but you find more in the week ahead! Share them with me here!

Why I'm My Father's Daughter

 

If Daddy answers the phone when I call my parents, our conversation is a quick one.

"I can't talk," he'll complain. 

"You sound fine to me," I'll tell him. 

"What? I can't hear you. Here's your mother."

And that's that.

Strokes have taken their toll on his vocal chords. The effort to speak is too much for him and his voice gives out after just a few words. Perhaps his hearing loss can be blamed on strokes, too. (Although hearing aids could help with that. Sigh.)

But he was never one to talk much, anyway, and especially not on the phone. If I wanted or needed to talk, I went to my mother. I could talk to her about anything, and I'm very grateful for that.

 

Daddy and I communicated in other ways, though. We teased each other and toured old houses. We fought over who was going to mow the yard.

He chauffeured me and my friends to the movies and high school basketball games before I got my license. He taught me how to drive, and tried to teach me how to play golf and be a better bowler...without much luck.

Instead, I tagged along with him on the golf course, satisfied to watch him and admire the beauty of the courses. We took road trips to visit his mother, traveling along the back highways with the windows down, stopping often to visit historical sites or other interesting places that caught my eye or his.

We square-danced.

 

 

But words still formed our greatest connection. I was seven, maybe eight, when I uttered that inevitable childhood chant: "I'm bored." 

 "Bored? Here, read this," he said, handing me an old, mildewed copy of Black Beauty, "You'll never be bored again."

Well, I'm not sure if those were his exact words, but they should have been. I was hooked, and as long as I've had something handy to read (and I try to make sure I do), I've never been bored again. 

Besides Anna Sewell's Black Beauty - and hence, every horse book I could get my hands on - Daddy got me hooked on historical fiction via James Michener and Leon Uris. It's still my first love.

He also introduced me to Leon Hale and his Texas-flavored, rambling, memoirish columns in the Houston Post (and then the Chronicle)...the inspiration for my own personal essays and blog posts, I'm sure. I still read his columns online.

Because of Daddy, I surround myself with books, and I'm partial to old ones.

I read our ancient copies of Black Beauty, Call of the Wild, Daddy-Long-Legs, and A Girl of the Limberlost over and over and over, and to this day the smell of a musty book takes me miles away in my mind to those stories.

When I enter an antique store, I head straight for the book section. Not to buy, necessarily, but just to breathe, feel, and say Hello, you're not forgotten.

Our house overflowed in paperbacks, too, though. Daddy always had one in his metal lunchbox, usually a Louis L'Amour, and when I followed in his steel-toed-shoe footsteps years later, I always carried a paperback with me to work.

Today neither of us consumes books like we used to. Daddy reads the morning newspaper, but then turns his attention to the television when he's not doing laundry or other household chores.

I'm always somewhere in a just-for-fun book, but it takes me forever to finish them, only cracking them open to read while I eat lunch. When I'm at home. And don't have something else I have to read.

But all of those books and words and voices still bind us, and despite the miles between us, and the words we cannot say, I feel him with me every time I open a book. 

Thank you, Daddy.

 

Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance. 

~Ruth E. Renkel

(This is my contribution to the Generation Fabulous Father's Day BlogHop. Click HERE to see the other wonderful posts about women and their fathers.)

Raindrops and Photo Shoots

Saturday morning I woke to the sound of rain. Lots and lots of rain. I staggered to my computer and pulled up radar of our area.

A huge green and yellow blob was blinking its way straight for us. A blessing for sure in this time of drought, two days in a row of serious rainfall, but dang it, I had a photo shoot scheduled that morning.

It wasn't supposed to rain, according to the weather forecast.

But it was raining. All I could do was call off the shoot, hope to reschedule, give thanks for the rain, and crawl back into bed. I was disappointed, but sleeping in on a rainy morning is pretty sweet, don't you agree?

Making it even sweeter was being able to reschedule the shoot for yesterday evening and having the weather cooperate. We didn't even let the fact that dozens of other people decided to celebrate Memorial Day in the little park where we'd planned the shoot, swimming all around the little dam and waterfall that was supposed to be a pristine backdrop. We just carried on as planned.

So far I'm very pleased with the shots and I think my clients will be, too!

Here are a few other sweet!s from the past week...

 

 

Monday: spotting a great blue heron soaring over the Hollow through the french doors; the first tiny bud on your miniature rosebush; a day with no makeup; hummingbirds

Tuesday: helping your co-worker explain the relationship of Catholics and saints to his non-Catholic sister-in-law and having her say "That makes sense."; seeing a friend and her family at work; hearing of miracles on a sad day; being able to talk to your mom and sister about anything; hearing that your neighbor's lost dog wandered back home, safe and sound; new tires on your car, thanks to your husband; the call of a Chuck-Will's-Widow

Wednesday: cotton-tailed rabbits and white-tailed deer on your morning walk; Greek pizza; seventy-year-old newlyweds; a dog's tail wagging at the sight of you; punk-rocking teenager cardinals; the silence of the woods; progress on one of your books

Thursday: a high-five from your allergy/asthma doctor; typing 74 wpm and making a 96 on an employment spelling test; a hug from your baby girl; Chuy's creamy jalapeno dip and tortilla soup; a call from your mom; a thoughtful card in the mailbox from a dear friend; your son's wedding video; painted buntings; playing your drums 

Friday: remembering your puppies' heart and flea protection; much-needed rain in your Hollow; the relief and gratitude in your puppies' eyes when you let them be house dogs during a thunderstorm; your mom calling to warn you about severe thunderstorms headed your way

Saturday: roadrunners; a second day of much-needed rain; a full moon over a vineyard; wedding cake; a midnight serenade, courtesy of happy frogs

Sunday: the sound of a waterfall; brunch, wine, and a long visit with a dear friend while being the customer instead of the server for a change; a visit from your oldest baby; your youngest calling to check on you; making it to your writing critique group

Monday: your photo chosen for a Mortal Muses Mosaic; watching the new Star Trek movie with 1/2 of your kids; popcorn for lunch; a photo shoot with a beautiful, fun family

Tuesday: summer mornings; watching your old puppy swim across a pond; shopping with your baby girl; a long phone call with a dear friend

I hope sweet! moments rained down on you all last week and overflow into the next!

(I'd love to hear about some of yours! Please share them in the comments.)

Longhorns and other sweet!s

 

 

Yesterday I helped a friend celebrate her son Ryan's graduation from the University of Texas. 

We enjoyed beer, barbecue, and a cake decorated like Big Bertha, the large drum wheeled around at halftime performances, because Ryan was on the Big Bertha team for the Longhorn Band.

I got to see all of my kids and spend time with friends in a beautifully landscaped backyard close enough to campus to see the fireworks through the trees at the end of the ceremony. 

It was a very sweet! day!

(We watched the ceremony itself on television in the air-conditioned comfort of the house, and I'm glad because summer has officially arrived in Austin, Texas. Whew! That was sweet!, too!)

Here are some others from the last half of the week. (I'm trying to stay on track now!)

Wednesday: being able to wish your husband a happy birthday; chocolate torte

Thursday: getting a parking spot downtown when you need it; hanging out in a genealogy library; dinner with your son; the floppy ears on German Shepherd puppies; attending a panel on writing with your son

 

Friday: a call from a dear friend; Panda Express fortunes that come true; bumping into a friend in Walmart; the smell of warm brownies; the taste of warm brownies 

Saturday: celebrating a friend's son's graduation from the University of Texas; Rudy's Barbecue; getting to see all of your kids  

 

Sunday: your friend sneaking into Mass even later than you; a bee buzzing up to a Texas Thistle just as you snap the photo, even if it makes you jump; spotting a Green Heron in a tree down the creek

 

I hope you've had a week full of sweet! moments. If you find yourself getting down, start looking for them. They're there, just waiting to be noticed, and it's one of the best ways to climb out of the dumps! (The absolute best is helping someone else, of course.)

What was one of the sweetest moments of your past week?

Five Things on a Friday Night. And a Puppy.

 

1.

You know you're getting old when, instead of taking friends up on an invitation to listen to live music on a Friday night after work, you walk your friend's dogs, eat dinner alone at Panda Express, pick up a few things at Walmart, and make brownies for your friend's son's college graduation party on Saturday.

And then write a blog post about it.

 

2. 

 

Nothing smells better than brownies baking in the oven. Amen.

 

3.

 

The fortune in my cookie at Panda Express read: "A pleasant surprise is in store for you." Sure enough, within the hour, I was standing in the check-out line at Walmart when a familiar voice said, "Barbara?"

It was the former high school librarian who I loved working with as a substitute assistant and who loved having my son as her aide. I haven't seen her in ages.

It truly was a very, very, very pleasant surprise. (But how did Panda Express know? It's almost creepy!)

 

4.

 

One of the feral cats that adopted my parents has disappeared. They believe it died.

When I was there for Mother's Day, it had tucked itself into a tight spot between the house and the deck. It was too wild for them to catch. Daddy just made sure it had food and water nearby, but it had no appetite.

They had enjoyed watching that cat sleep on the deck (and try to catch birds at the feeder and bath - sometimes successfully) for over a year.

She was a pretty little thing, and they forgave her for trying to kill (and succeeding in killing) the birds, and scaring the squirrels away.

It makes me so sad for them. 

 

5.

 

I attended a Writer's League of Texas panel on magazine writing last night. Four writers shared their experiences: Sarah Bird, Chuck Eddy, Alicia Dennis, and Michael Hall.

In a nutshell I learned that magazine writing used to be a great gig, but that it's getting harder and harder to make a living at it because so many magazines have folded, so much is online now, and there are tons of writers doing it for next-to-nothing...or nothing, period. 

The writers were all really interesting and funny, and still all actively writing for publications, including People and Texas Monthly, but overall it was kind of sad and bittersweet.

So don't you think it's ironic that I want to do it even more after listening to them talk about it?

P.S.

 

Before the magazine panel, Daniel and I ate at Opal Divine's. This little Mini-Max and his mom sat near us, and, oh! he stole my heart!

I'm going to post more street photos on Confessions, but had to share Augie with you here, too.

I think I want a puppy.

Back to Reality

The fairy tale is over, at least for me and Tom. While my son and his beautiful bride continue their romantic story over in Italy, we've said goodbye to the rehearsal dinner leftovers and the last out-of-town guest.

My mother-in-law left this morning. No more eating out or playing cutthroat games of 3-13, where I actually got on a winning streak for the first time in 30 years.

We're puppysitting our grandpuppy (which I love!) but otherwise we're back to our old routines. I went back to work yesterday and, while Tom is taking a few days off, he's back to piecing rock together for our driveway. I hear his hammer tapping as I type this.

But thank goodness (and bless my husband who built it) reality includes a break in the evening beside a little terrace bordering a small pond shaded by new green leaves, with splashes of crimson flowers and baby dewberries along the rim, where I can sit with a glass of wine, a pen and some paper, until the mosquitoes tell me it's time to go inside.

I thank you God for this most amazing day, for the leaping greenly spirits of trees, and for the blue dream of sky and for everything which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes. 

~e.e. cummings 

 

Five Things

1.

What a week full of tragedy, heartbreak, and heroism. First the bombing in Boston and subsequent acts of unselfishness and goodness that proved only light can conquer darkness...and that there's plenty of light in Boston. We witnessed it in the behavior of all of its citizens.

Next, the explosion in West, Texas, so close to home, where even more were killed and injured than in Boston. I've driven through that little town on my way somewhere else so many times, stopping for kolaches or to let the kids get rid of energy. In a tiny rural community like that a tragedy like this touches every resident and my heart goes out to them.

Now the earthquake in China. The numbers keep growing of those whose heartbreak is broadcast to all of us via the media...which means we can all pray for them. A universal prayer chain. An image glowing with light in yet another moment of darkness.

 

2.

I love sending cards to friends, but often don't have them on hand or the time to run out and buy one. So I decided to create my own...from my photographs and favorite quotes. I posted them on FineArtAmerica.com and placed my order. It arrived this week in a great box. 

I'm sending this one to all of those affected in #1, as well as anyone else reading this who is suffering loss right now.

 

 

"Oh heart, if one should say to you that the soul perishes like the body, answer that the flower withers, but the seed remains."

~ Kahlil Gibran

 

3.

Without excusing their behavior, I feel those two young men who planted the Boston bombs were merely pawns played by some greater evil who is sitting back, laughing at how they held us hostage for awhile and probably planning their next move. I pray I've raised my kids to be strong enough not to fall for false flattery, that they may never be manipulated in that way. 

4.

Just home from work yesterday evening, wondering where to get started on things I needed to do, one glance out the kitchen window put everything else on hold. A hawk perched in a tree overlooking our big pond ("big" only in comparison to our "little" pond; it's just a wide spot in a mostly dry creek right now, but it does have water!) I popped the 70-300mm lens on my camera and snapped a few through the window. Then I snuck out the front door, tiptoed around the corner, and managed to snap a few more before he swooped down to the pond. 

"Do you mind?"

They aren't great photos - he was pretty far away - but they're good enough to help me remember and be grateful that I stepped out of "to-do's" and just enjoyed the moment and this beautiful, amazing world around us.

 

5.

We're winding down to the Big Wedding of my son and his beautiful bride-to-be. For a long time the wedding was a year away, and now suddenly it's almost here! How does that happen?

So please don't forget me if I continue to be AWOL from your blogs for awhile, and negligent of emails and Facebook posts. But as my mom pointed out, Tommy's wedding is one of those once-in-a-lifetime things. A time to forget about the world and to-do lists and worries about the future, and focus, instead, on love and family and today.

"Once in awhile, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale." 

 
--Anonymous 

I Blame LinkedIn

Instead of exercising this morning before heading to work, I made the mistake of clicking on my LinkedIn profile when I got on the computer to pay some bills. By the time I finished updating it, I was scrambling to make it to work on time.

So as soon as I stepped in the door this evening after work, I changed into my work-out clothes, determined to keep up my routine. But I was starving. First I would eat, then I would work out.

But I couldn't work out right after eating, could I? So I cleaned off my desk and sat down to finish paying bills until enough time had passed that I wouldn't puke when I jumped rope.

Money on my brain, or rather the lack thereof, I couldn't resist clicking on the email from LinkedIn telling me about jobs I might like. 

Well, I didn't like any of those, but I kept clicking and found one that actually did appeal to me and matched my experience and skills. So I clicked on "apply", which took me to a window requesting my resume.

Uh-oh. Updating my resume had been on my to-do list...or I should say, it's been ignored on my to-do list. It immediately moved up in priority.

I spent the next thirty minutes...hour...who knows how long, tidying it up to match the job, then finished applying.

Time to work out. No, it was late. I would just pay bills and get in bed early so I could wake up early enough to work out.

Oh, but first, I needed to print out one of my critique group member's submission for the next meeting in case I got called to substitute teach in the morning. I like to do my critiques during my long break periods. Too cheap to use new paper, I decided to clean out my file cabinet and find some paper I could recycle.

So I headed into the bedroom where the file cabinet is and noticed the basket of towels on the bed waiting to be folded. I remembered I had clothes in the washer and dryer, so I turned on "Dancing with the Stars" for ten minutes while I folded, then moved the loads around downstairs.

But instead of folding the next basket of clothes I pulled from the dryer (just Tom's work clothes - wrinkling wouldn't hurt them) I thought I better get back to paying bills.

Back on the computer, a quick glance at Facebook reminded me I wanted to submit one of my blog posts to BlogHer's Voices of the Year.

I'm getting very audacious in my old age! Perhaps I've read this enough times to believe it:

"Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers, why not gather your own bouquet?"

- from P.S. I Love You on my bathroom wall

 

But which post should I submit? I started scrolling through my posts until I came to The Artist. That would do. I filled in the nomination page then shared my audaciousness on the GenerationFabulous Facebook page, which is full of supportive women, but I've been neglectful of my own support for them lately, so I spent some time reading over a few posts and voting for their submissions as well. 

Finally! Time to pay those bills. Except, gosh, couldn't this whole crazy scenario make a great blog post? Especially if I mention the Painted Bunting I spotted out the bathroom window while I was flossing my teeth, in between eating dinner and sitting down to pay bills the first time? The one I captured in my camera when I left mid-floss to sneak out the back door and creep up on via the side porch?

And that's why I never seem to get anything done. I blame it all on LinkedIn. Now excuse me, but I really need to finish flossing, pay those bills and get in bed.

Oh, but first...

 

Birthday Cards and other sweet!s

Does anyone read blog posts in the middle of the night? It seems it's the only time I finally get to post, after finishing up the higher priority items on my to-do lists. 

BlogHer is asking for nominations for their Voices of the Year, in the categories of Heart, Humor, Inspiration, and OpEd. I had thought about nominating myself (that's what you do when you get older - you quit waiting on other people to toot your horn - you just do it yourself!) but to be honest, I can't think of a post that might have a chance of winning, so I'll probably just wait until next year.

I'm not putting myself down...it's just that I don't post about controversial stuff. And I don't cuss. Or have small children. I'm not an alcoholic or drug addict who had an abortion at 18.

I'm not complaining - I know I'm blessed. But those seem to be the criteria in the posts with the highest ratings, along with alcoholism, drug abuse, and abortions.

 I have too many other things on my plate to worry about. Namely, a wedding (my son's) and finding a job which is more than a job, but a career. And writing a book. And...

Okay, I'll stop and get on with this post, which is about birthday cards and other sweet!s of the past week.

 

Next year for my birthday, I'm going to go to Barton Springs Pool and wear a bucket on my head.

 

 

This is the card my son gave me. Inside it says: "It's your birthday, so take it easy. Relax. Wear a bucket on your head. Whatever."

 And he wrote: "Do you want to go to Barton Springs and wear a bucket on your head?

If I had said yes, he would have cringed, but I know he would have gone along with me, and my other two kids as well. As I've already said once in this post, I'm blessed. (Of course, they would have pretended they didn't know me, but that's understandable.)

My friend Tamara (Tamara, Tamara, Tamara!) sent me a card that proves she knows me very well...

 

 

And here are some other sweet!s of the week...

Monday: antelope horn blooming; spotting a rabbit's tail on a morning walk; a hug from an old co-worker/friend; reminiscing with a friend about your kids and old times

Tuesday: Russian accents; meeting a Headhunter who promised to critique your resume; a blog friend requesting to buy a series of your photos

Wednesday: a walk in the rain with your pups during a drought; homemade chicken soup and a fire in a fireplace on a cold, rainy day in a vineyard

 

Thursday: wildflowers bordering a Texas highway (they were beautiful, but I had to wait to take the photo when I was stopped at a red light, where they were more sparse); standing by your friend when she says goodbye to her mother; sharing memories of your childhood with people you still call friends; an evening with your parents

 

Friday: coffee and reading the newspaper at the kitchen table with your dad; sneaking a photo of your dad with your phone; new growth in an old neighborhood; red-winged blackbirds; splashes of primroses on a roadside that remind you of your wedding 30 years agoan afternoon with your daughter and seeing both of your sons

 

Saturday: time for a walk with your puppies before work; two elderly people finding love again; patches of bluebonnets; going to bed earlier than you expected 

Sunday: waking early enough to go to early Mass; the joy on your puppies' faces when you take them for a walk; baby turtles; your writing group liking your latest story; getting a lot of stuff done on your day off

I hope you have a fantastic week, full of sweet! moments! I'll leave you with one of my favorite photos...the red-winged blackbirds ignoring the kitties in my parents' backyard to meet at the birdbath...

 

 

Five Things on Friday

1. Last night I attended a funeral for the mother of one of my long-time, closest friends. Hers was one of the houses where we all congregrated, from middle school on up (I had my first kiss on the sidewalk in front of that house)... and now my friend opens up her home to all of us for get-togethers as well.

My - oh, I'll go ahead and use the word - 'old' classmates and I filled several rows, and even my mother tagged along with me. One of the guys got up and spoke about his memories - our memories - but I have to admit, when he said the words "forty years ago" and "back in the day", I cringed at the truth of it. We are old! Argh.

But we're also forever young, thanks to those memories. Rest in peace and thank you for putting up with us, Mrs. Stanley, and thanks for speaking for all of us, Randy.

2. I saw a news report about cicadas that said they only appear every 17 years. Well, if that's true, I want to know what the heck we have around here every single summer that does a perfect impersonation of a cicada!

3. Just when I decided I needed to give something up for lack of time, whether my blog or my book or photography, I had a request to purchase some photos, an idea for a{nother} children's book that wouldn't leave me alone, I passed to the next level on a paid online writing gig, and I got a lot of attention on my blog.

Murphy's Law, but in a good way for a change.

But I'm still trying to figure out how to do it all...

4. My girlfriends pitched in and gave me a gift card for my birthday for me to buy a pair of cowgirl boots to wear to the rehearsal dinner for my son's wedding.

(It's a Texas thing. I had a great pair of boots...but then had three kids. Now TG has a great pair of boots, and I have my mother's which are about a half size too small.)

Anyway, I'm in a quandary. I'm tempted to squeeze my foot into my mother's boots that night, and use the gift card to {mostly} pay for an iPad or Kindle or something like that. Several of my friends have written e-books, and I have them on my computer, but I have limited time at home in front of my computer. I can't even keep up with my book writing or photo editing, so their books are still unread, along with tons of blog posts and articles, because I can't read them on my iPhone.

I'm thinking if I got an iPad, I could tuck it in my purse and stay caught up with my friends' writings. Sure, I'd look cute in a pair of Heritage Westerns, with jeans tucked in or a cute summery dress, and two-stepping in wedges is kind of a challenge, but...

See the fix I'm in? 

If any of you has an iPad or a Kindle or other similar device, please share your input and help me with this decision before it drives me crazy!

5. I'm happy to report that I've had a couple of mouse-turd-free days since retrieving the last one from the back seat and tossing it into the woods. Fingers crossed they've decided my car isn't the luxury hotel they were hoping for!

P.S. The onion flowers are back!

(Yes, that's technically 6 things. But I had to share these - such simple elegance in our little bit of woods.)

Linking with

 {Random 5 Friday}

and

Friday Fragments

Make Good Art (Life)

Last night I stepped away from my computer before midnight for a change, set my alarm for 4:30 am, and before drifting off to sleep, asked God to remind me when it went off that I was excited about getting up so early because I would have time to write.

He did. And so, for the first time since the conference in February, I pulled out the critiques on my children's book, opened up the file, and began yet another revision in a silent house, well before the distraction of a husband stirring or a pink sunrise or a puppy's face hoping for a walk could distract me. 

I haven't given myself a deadline, other than to move forward every day, even if it's just to develop a character or backstory that no one will ever read.

On the wall of my office, right in my line of vision, is a placque, a gift from my friend Jill, that says "never, never, never give up" and on the other side is reminder from my friend Rae to "Find a passion and pursue it...never give up...do what you love...follow your dreams...make every moment count...be true to who you are..."

And who I am is a writer. Perhaps not the best, but I won't get better unless I write.

I even resisted glancing at my email this morning, because...

"There was a day when I looked up and realised that I had become someone who professionally replied to email, and who wrote as a hobby.  I started answering fewer emails, and was relieved to find I was writing much more."

Those are the words of writer Neil Gaiman from a commencement speech to a class of university art students in May of 2012. One of the women in my critique group sent the link of his speech to the rest of us.  

His words are aimed at artists, but since life itself is a form of art, I'm sharing it below with all of you, just in case I'm not the last person in the world to watch it. (That happens a lot!)

The speech is almost 20 minutes long, but every word is worth listening to. They were my wake-up call to re-focus on my book, but might be your wake-up call to re-focus on whatever gives meaning and satisfaction to your life. He has a lovely British accent, which makes it even better.

So turn it on, get up and stretch or do your nails or something while you listen. 

Okay, here's another little bit from it, if I haven't convinced you yet...

"Life is sometimes hard. Things go wrong, in life and in love and in business and in friendship and in health and in all the other ways that life can go wrong. And when things get tough, this is what you should do.

Make good art.

I'm serious. Husband runs off with a politician? Make good art. Leg crushed and then eaten by mutated boa constrictor? Make good art. IRS on your trail? Make good art. Cat exploded? Make good art. Somebody on the Internet thinks what you do is stupid or evil or it's all been done before? Make good art. Probably things will work out somehow, and eventually time will take the sting away, but that doesn't matter. Do what only you do best. Make good art.

Make it on the good days too."

~Neil Gaiman

                 

Neil Gaiman Addresses the University of the Arts Class of 2012 from The University of the Arts (Phl) on Vimeo.

If I could talk, I'd tell of...

Births. Deaths. Certainly those.

Celebrations for birthdays, for weddings, for the end of a drought and good crops.

Tables in the yard, laden with food. Tantalizing smells wafting from the kitchen, promising more.

Heartache. Loved ones who went to war and never returned. Arguments and screen doors slamming.

Joyous reunions.

Neighbors helping put out a fire, build a rock fence, raise a windmill, plant a harvest, chase down a runaway cow.

Friends delivering a baby. Providing food and a silent shoulder in times of mourning.

Bicycles and toy wagons littering the yard. A beloved mutt curled up on the porch near the door or sprawled in a patch of sunlit dirt in the yard.

Young couples, just married, and older ones, helping each other up the steps. 

The squeak of a porch swing on a summer evening. The smell of a bonfire on an autumn night. 

Days when voices and laughter echoed from the windows, open to capture a cool breeze in a stifling Texas summer.

And days like these when silence is palpable...when only memories and shadows walk the worn wooden floors.

I pass this old farmhouse on my way to work and it always starts my mind wondering about its history. Finally, one day, I stopped with my camera...and that's when it spoke to me.

 

My Pencils are Sharp Enough

 

I slept a full eight hours last night. And I cleaned my bathroom this afternoon. Two things I haven't done in a long, long time. That's about all I've accomplished today, but I'm okay with it. It's my day off and I've relished it.

Middle son, Daniel, is home for the weekend, mostly because it was time for him to do laundry again, but I think he also enjoys the break from the city and helping his dad with projects around the house. 

He's picking up pizza right now. After we eat, he'll be heading back home. Well, to his other home. I feel I didn't get to see him very much on this visit. The weekends go by so fast when you only get one day off. But I'm grateful for all the days I've been able to work lately while waiting for that Perfect Job to show up and sweep me off my feet.

I've let my writing motivation slip a little - it seems to be proportional to the amount of free time I have. For some reason it takes me so long just to get started that unless I have a big chunk of time, I make no real progress. I just keep reinventing the wheel. I've got to learn to jump right in and get moving no matter how little time I have. 

As Ze Frank says below, I need to realize my pencils are sharp enough and just start writing.

 

 

 

Discovering Ze Frank on my friend Walker's blog was sweet! Here are a few other sweet! moments from the past week...

Monday: getting paid to watch wonderful National Geographic videos; a whiff of wild onions in the woods; 80 degree temps in February; discovering The Louise Log

Tuesday: a cardinal singing to you and posing for a few photos; your puppy's overflowing joy at your return from work; your mom's recent bloodwork and health screenings revealing no major issues

 

Wednesday: an email from a friend letting you know you received two Posts of the Week from Hilary at The Smitten Image; getting two Posts of the Week from Hilary!; the gift of rain in a drought

Thursday: seeing your future daughter-in-law in her wedding dress; visiting eclectic Austin shops with your daughter; not getting stuck in traffic; crying over mother/son dance songs and finally finding the perfect one

Friday: that first sip of coffee in the morning; discovering someone you've known for a long time attended your elementary school at the same time you did; an afternoon walk with your goofy puppies; plump robins; working on your book

Saturday: fitting in a work-out before, um, work; warm February afternoons; hamburgers fresh off the grill; a sweet love story movie with your husband and son, instead of the usual shoot-em-up; another episode of old Dark Shadows with your son

Sunday: eight hours of sleep; coffee on the back porch; visiting with friends after church; a clean bathroom; veggie pizza

 

What were some of your sweet! moments this week?

I'm planning on watching the Academy Awards tonight. Are you? 

I haven't watched them in years, but tonight I'm going to settle on the couch with some popcorn and see all the good movies I've missed. I'm rooting for Silver Linings Playbook, but that's because it's the only one I've seen. Who/what are you rooting for?

Even if your favorite movie doesn't win, I hope you have a week overflowing in sweet!

 

Signs of Spring, and other Sweet!s

Like the Munchkins when Dorothy first arrives in the (movie) land of Oz, yellow flowers are popping up and peeking out at the world, one by one, to see if the coast is clear and the rumor is true..that the wicked old winter is gone.

(Not that our winters here around Austin, Texas are actually wicked, but I had to go with the theme.)

And last week I spotted a few American Robins up in the trees, another sure sign that Spring is headed our way, despite the lack of buds on the trees.  

(Obviously, the trees have grown cynical.)

 

Spring shows what God can do with a drab and dirty world.  ~Virgil A. Kraft

Here are a few more sweet!s that popped up in front of me this past week...

 

Saturday: watching old episodes of Dark Shadows with your son

Sunday: Mass with your son; celebrating friends' birthdays with margaritas and Mexican food, laughter and hugs; a long walk with your son and puppies; watching the Grammys for the first time in years

Monday: rain falling on the hills; working in a school library

Tuesday: drizzly mornings and mist on your face; homemade chocolate and peanut butter covered strawberries; wood-fire-oven-roasted veggies; crab cakes; a call from your oldest son; new running shoes

 

Wednesday: watching the sun rise on your morning walk; meeting interesting people; joining with your church family to celebrate traditions of your faith 

 

 

Thursday: a Mexican Jay escort on your morning walk; getting paid to watch a video on Fitness and Nutrition; a text from a friend letting you know about a job opening; finishing a project; Valentine's Day dinner with the love of your life

Friday: first graders, even when they stretch your patience; silence in a church filled with people praying; dancing the Cotton-Eyed Joe and the Schottische; waltzing; stars dusting the hilltops

Saturday: fresh pizza when you're famished; the giggle of leaves playing in the wind on a stone terrace; making a dent in your laundry and email after a week when you've barely been home

Sunday: a deep breath and a cup of coffee on the back deck before returning to the fast track; making surly customers happy; news that your son and his love completed the Livestrong Half Marathon with their personal best times; sitting on the back deck after work, sipping a glass of wine and pouring the characters and stories buzzing around in your head onto paper until it's too dark to see

Here's to another Sunday and another week full of sweet! moments waiting to pop up and surprise us! Keep your eyes open!

Share some of your own sweet!s from the past week in the comments. I love to hear them!

(Typepad's new spam-blocking system is still dumping 95% of comments, including my replies (!), into the spam folder. So don't worry if your comment seems to disappear! I'll retrieve it as soon as possible. Thank you!)

Validation (and other sweet!s)

I stood in the empty bathroom staring at myself in the mirror, repeating the same sentence over and over and over, forcing myself to look me in the eyes as I spouted my pitch.

Practice, practice, practice. Breathe, breathe, breathe.

There were two of them, one right after the other. They each sat at the end of a long table on the far side of a small room. I didn't come away with an agent begging me for my whole manuscript, but I did walk away from the two critique sessions at today's writing conference with validation and hope and encouragement.

Each of them, the experienced author and the agent, gave me suggestions on how to improve my children's book, but overall, they liked it. In fact, the author said she loved my main character. It made me feel the same way I did when a teacher praised one of my children.

Sweet!

(Everyone says they aren't looking for validation at these things, but it sure feels good when you get enough to make you feel your work hasn't been a total waste of time, and you feel motivated to keep working on it rather than tossing the file in your virtual trashcan.)

Here are a few other sweet! moments from my week...

 

Sunday: watching the Super Bowl with your parents; being able to check your email on your phone

Monday: plumbers who come out right away to fix your parents' broken faucet; helping your mom get to her doctor's appointment; the crunch of gravel on your caliche road signaling you're home

 

 

Tuesday: running for the first time in days; a slow day at the winery so you have time to take photos; recognizing one of your son's friends at the grocery store, despite all the whiskers on his now-grown-up face; Girl Scouts and Girl Scout cookies

Wednesday: a busy day at the winery, with great customers, so the time passes fast; the contrast of storm clouds and bright sunshine 

 

Thursday: the smell of crayons; the creativity of elementary school kids; an afternoon walk with your puppies; an oasis in the woods; a virtual trip to Prague, courtesy of a friend's photographs and Facebook posts

Friday: Great White Pyrenees and shaggy black labs you meet in the vet's office; a catch-up talk with a friend;  shopping with your daughter; paychecks in the mailbox; a son who bothers to remove a piece of dust from a tiny spider's leg

Saturday: your son waking early to wish you good luck in pitching your book at your writing conference; writing conferences; new blossoms on a redbud tree

 

I hope the coming week is full of validation and sweet! moments for you!

Sea of Grass

 

 

Surrounded by bare branches so still I could believe they are doodles on a pencil-smudged-gray sky, I stand in a sea of grass that bows down, unmoving, waiting. 

The earth holds its breath. 

 

 

 

Fence posts lean like old men, weathered gray and full of stories. 

  

 

 

 I'm still collecting small stones like the ones above, although I haven't had much time on the computer to share them.

We've had a lot of gray days, can you tell?

 

To warm you up, here's a photo of Belle. She is pure sunshine-joy!

It is impossible for gray skies to seep too deep inside with that wiggly, grinning, leaping puppy around!

 

Linking up with Lissa's...

Scattered stones on a Friday morning

Good morning!

I rose way before dawn to work on my children's book because the rest of the day will be crazy busy, and look what I was given as a reward for not hitting the snooze button...

 

A gift wrapped in misty blue, tied up with swirly pink ribbons.

small stone #11

That ended my writing session, of course. I threw on some clothes, grabbed my camera, and headed out for a morning walk with the puppies for the first time in days. 

I hadn't gone far before three deer leaped out of the woods and disappeared on the other side of the road, one after another. No photos - I'm not fast enough. But it triggered this...

Full of grace they leap, white-tail-tutus sailing through the air. Ballerinas of the woods.

small stone #11.2

I walked down to the pond and creek, drawn by the sound of water playing and giggling.

 

I'm sure there's another small stone in there, but it hasn't come to me yet. Hmmm...playing, giggling...

Oh, well. I do have this one from a few days ago I forgot to post...

Raindrops tapdance on my umbrella.

small stone #8

 

 

A dear friend is coming to visit this weekend, and before she gets here I still have a lot of cleaning and shopping to do, as well as help TG get resettled before the new semester begins.

(I'll miss her. There's no way this house would have been even half-ready for visitors without her help! I've been in a spring-cleaning frenzy which is usually counterproductive to actual housecleaning!)

Between visitors, spring-cleaning, and writing, I'm sure it will be a few days before I get a chance to catch up with all of you. I hope you have a beautiful weekend, full of sweet! moments and lovely small stones. Savor each and every one, and if you get time, share them with me!

Happy Friday!

 

Pole Dancing

The little waterfall is flowing again. I heard it this morning when I was feeding the dogs. We've had two solid days of rain, and while I'm grateful for the rain in this time of drought, and for the sound of the waterfall, I was so, so, so happy to watch the sun reach into the hollow this morning and give it a big hug.

There was no time to visit the little waterfall today, though. I had to rush off to work at the middle/high school library. I never mind that - libraries are my favorite places to work - but today was especially wonderful because the morning sun blasted through the huge windows on the east end of the library and I could watch the clouds and the flags playing all day. 

To top it off, back home I heard a choir of frogs singing from the direction of the pond, echoing the song in my heart. (Sunshine does that to me!)

And so my small stone #10 was born...

Creek giggling, frogs singing, and flags dancing at the sight of the sun.

 

(ha! fooled you with the 'pole dancing', didn't I?)

 

The rain inspired small stone #9 yesterday:

Raindrops plopping on rocks and machinery, strumming trees and grasses, tapping caliche and a metal roof. Growing loud, then soft, slow, then fast, following the baton of an unseen Maestro.

Do you have any small stones to share?

A New Year and Three Small Stones

 

So here we are on the third day of a new year already. When I last spoke to you, way back in 2012, there were gray skies above as well as inside.

I'm happy to report the sun has broken through in both places at least a few times since then, warming me with its soft light and reminding me it's still there before slipping back behind that gray curtain.

Last night it burst forth at sunset, making the sky look like molten lava and taking my breath away with it as it dropped below the dark hills. (I only had my phone to capture the moment. You can see it on my instagram page here but it really doesn't capture the beauty of it.)

The clouds rolled back in as it disappeared, but tomorrow morning we might wake to a few snowflakes and that will make the gray clouds totally worthwhile! 

My dad is still in the hospital. He had surgery today to insert a stent in his carotid artery, but it turned out the artery wasn't blocked enough to require one. I'm grateful for that, except it's the same conclusion doctors at another hospital came to just a few months ago when he had the arteriogram and the surgery on the other artery.

But, instead of focusing on whether or not these doctors did enough homework before heading into my dad's arteries (!!!!!) I'm just grateful he made it through today's surgery okay. And I'm grateful for my brother who was able to be there with my parents, and for my sister who makes sure I know what's going on despite being so far away. 

 

 

Despite the cold, TG and I have been spring cleaning the past few days, lugging clothes to resale shops and Goodwill. I'm in a fever to get organized and downsize and simplify, so I've also been weeding through piles and drawers of paperwork, and posting odds and ends on Craig's List. (Cha-ching! I've had two buyers!)

I've submitted job applications, worked on my book, finished a photo project I started months ago, and dove headfirst back into Flickr with two photo challenges. Interacting with other photographers motivates me to try new things with my camera. (Besides, I missed my Flickr friends.)

So that my writing doesn't get jealous of the attention I'm giving photography, I've joined the Mindful Writing Challenge on Writing Our Way Home, committing to write a "small stone" every day of January.

A small stone is just a short piece of writing that captures a moment when you are fully focused and engaged with the world around you. Writing stones helps me slow down, pay attention, and stretch my mind to use words creatively. I think I'll try to continue this beyond January.

Here are the three I've written so far:

1. Sun rays sweep gray clouds from the sky, like a straw broom clearing cobwebs from an old windowpane.
2. The flaming sun drops below chocolate hills, blowing rosy goodbye kisses to hovering clouds.
3. Tennis shoes crunch-crunch on caliche. Eight paws tap-tap beside me. Music of my mornings. 

 

 

Did you make a New Year's resolution? I usually don't, except for echoing Michael Franti's song "Hey, hey, hey..."

No matter how life is today, I won't let another moment slip away.

~Michael Franti

That includes another moment to take care of myself (daddy's health issues are a great reminder for that!), support my family and friends, be kind and encouraging, work toward my dreams, follow through on promises, dance, laugh, listen, love, be still...and take a deep breath before getting angry. 

It's been a full, emotional roller-coaster of a year already. I think I've used my whole repertoire!

So...what do you think of 2013 so far?

 

Linking up with Lissa at...

 

Sweet Relief

I almost didn't publish this post.

Late this afternoon my sister called me at work to let me know Daddy was heading to the hospital via ambulance again. Another suspected stroke. Even if I had the time to post my collected sweet!s of the week, it just didn't seem right when I had such a heavy heart.

I made plans to leave for Houston early in the morning... and then Brenda called again with news I hadn't even dared to hope for: Daddy had checked out just fine and was on his way back home. Hallelujah! Talk about answered prayers!

I gave Mama and Daddy time to get home and settled before calling them. Hearing Daddy's voice on the other line was the sweetest sound ever.

So now I'll share what I had thought was the biggest sweet! of the week... 

I went dancing last night!

It was our annual church Adult Christmas party where we're one of the youngest couples, there's enough space on the dance floor that we're not getting bumped and elbowed all the time, and there's a group of ladies who love to dance as much as I do, so poor Tom is off the hook. (One of them, a spitfire in her 70's, did a full body shimmy to Proud Mary that would rival Tina Turner's! I have so much to learn!)

I also wanted to share a great quote I came across earlier this week...

Great is the art of beginning, but greater is the art of ending.

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

 

I can't help but believe Longfellow wrote it with me and my writing in mind.

And now for a few more sweet! moments I collected this past week...

 

Saturday: watching Princess Bride for the one zillionth time with your kids

Sunday: a Sunday spent at home, not out of town or at work; sleeping in and going to late Mass for the first time in months; finally having time to dust and vacuum your filthy house; your kids hauling your boxes of Christmas decorations upstairs for you before they head back to their own places; a call from a dear friend

 

 

Monday: getting paid to hang out in a library all day; finishing up a project (well, almost); dredging up the willpower to work out after work; an email asking about using one of your photographs in a newsletter

Tuesday: seeing deer dash in front of you on your morning walk; your old puppy running after the deer; finally making it to a doctor after rescheduling twice; getting your flu shot; helping your daughter shop for a tacky sweater in an eclectic resale shop; finding an authentic Scottish wool kilt for only $10 in the same shop; joining your husband and most of your kids for happy hour at Double Dave's; grocery shopping with your daughter

 

 

Wednesday: moonlight splashing in your kitchen when you first get up;  watching the moon set on the horizon on a chilly morning; the shimmer of frost; finally shushing the negative voices in your head and making progress on your book; dreaming about winning the lottery

Thursday: morning walks three days in a row; getting started on your book easier; helping your parents get the paperwork together to dispute the penalty for filing for Medicare Pard D "late" (why is there even a penalty??); saying to heck with to-do lists and deadlines and meeting friends for dinner

Friday: working on your book before heading to work; helping four-year-olds pick out books for their Book Fair wish list; hugs from four-year-olds; a check for one of your photographs waiting for you in the mailbox; a husband who doesn't make fun of you for crying in a movie about aging dogs

Saturday: french toast, a la Tom; time for a morning walk before work; slow dancing with your husband; teaching others how to do the Cotton-Eyed-Joe 

Sunday: sunlight through stained glass; talking photography with customers; answered prayers; your daddy's voice; Christmas lights on your tree, thanks to your husband

 

I hope you are remembering to keep track of, and give thanks for, your sweet! moments!

Taking a quick break to share this with you...

I'm writing. For the second day in a row!

Actually making a little progress, too, once I managed to ignore the voices inside my head who kept telling me to give it up, just quit, that it wasn't any good.

After staring at the screen and out the window and at the screen again, I finally said "Who cares?" and started typing. 

(Those first words after a few days away from my book are always the toughest. I need to stop staying away for days at a time.)

As if the voices weren't distraction enough, for some reason, I keep finding myself scrolling around on Facebook, but it's not toally a bad thing, because I came across the video below that a friend posted. (Thank you, Gina!)

It made me laugh so hard I just had to share it here with you. Ah, the memories.

And now back to my book...

(No, really. I mean it!)

(Well, maybe I'll watch it one more time.)

 

 

Small Things

I made it to my writing group tonight for the first time in weeks. At least, I think it's been weeks since I've attended. Time has been playing tricks on me lately.

At any rate, I made it there tonight. My compadres critiqued the handful of pages I submitted and I critiqued theirs and we talked about books and I felt like a writer. It was wonderful.

It wasn't until after the meeting that I saw the texts from my sister letting me know my nephew had to go help Daddy get Mama off the floor. She hadn't technically fallen, thank goodness. When she knew she was losing her balance, she leaned against the wall and slid down, with Daddy holding her.

A controlled fall, I guess you could say. 

(I'm grateful my nephew is living close to them again.)

 ************************************************

 

I really need to go dancing. Yes, I said "need".

Tom and I were invited to go with friends Friday night, but he had been working on cars all day (with no luck!) and was totally wiped out.

I had a lot of work to catch up on, myself, and would have gotten even farther behind if we'd gone. But, if only for therapeutic reasons, hitting a dance floor is rising ever higher on my priority list. 

Laughing is good therapy, too, though, and thanks to my blogging friend, Bill, of A Few Clowns Short, I got a good chuckle this week from the following video.

If you've never watched the TV show Breaking Bad, don't bother watching it. You won't get it, and you'll probably never want to watch the real thing!   

 

And now for more sweet!s of the past week, although I kind of gave some away in my last post... 

Sunday: no slow cars in front of you on the way to work; repeat customers; the sacrifice veterans make to ensure you stay free; majestic skies that make you pull off the road to stare and snap a photo; one more movie with your sweetie before heading out of town for a few days

Monday: leaving ahead of schedule on your road trip so you totally miss morning traffic; the red-orange rising sun peeking through low clouds on the horizon; your dad's surgeon giving him a good follow-up report; spinach enchiladas; laughing with your parents

 

 

Tuesday: telling your mom "Happy Birthday" first thing in the morning; making chili for your parents; the smell of a pumpkin pie in the oven; celebrating your mother's 81st birthday with family; reconnecting with a dear friend from your past

Wednesday: old red trucks; your parents' neighbor caring enough about them to call you for an update and to see how they can help; time to walk around the state capital with your camera while waiting to pick up your son from work; helping your future daughter-in-law celebrate her 25th birthday with margaritas and Mexican food; arriving home after being away (again) 

 

 

Thursday: hitting snooze and snuggling deeper under the covers on a cold morning; the moment when the first sunrays hit the Hollow; neighbors who tattle on your puppies when they are off on an adventure so you can call them home before they get into trouble; being stranded at home without a car so you have hours alone to work on your book; a surprise in the mailbox from one of your friends

Friday: a long walk with your puppies; finding writing inspiration in a fourth grade classroom; finally getting a chance to grocery shop for your house for the first time in weeks; watching an old Haley Mills movie with your sweetie 

 

 

Saturday: your puppy reminding you to go for your morning walk; a visit from your son and grandpuppy; a deluxe chicken quesadilla a la your son; a photo shoot of a beautiful family; red-haired babies; hearing good news about a friend's son

Sunday: French Toast after church, courtesy of your husband; a slow day at work when you're tired; finally making it to your writing group meeting for the first time in weeks

 

I hope, no matter how busy you are in the coming week, you remember to make note of your sweet! moments! 

Transitions

My Uncle Bobby passed away this week. Daddy's younger brother.

Like Daddy and the other men in his family, Uncle Bobby had suffered from heart and vascular problems for years, but it was a slow battle with cancer that took him away. He was a sweet man. In my heart I will always see him smiling, ready to laugh about something. 

That's him in the photo below, wearing my sister's wig, flanked by his son, Jeff, and yours truly, the Tomboy in ripped jeans. 

 

I'm grateful that I got to speak to Uncle Bobby a few times recently and assure him of my love and prayers. He called often to check on Daddy after his surgery. I'm glad they got to speak to each other, too.

Jeff stopped by my parents' house on my mom's birthday with a satchel full of old photo albums he'd found at his parents' house that had belonged to our aunt and grandmother. We opened them and stepped back into the years when we were oblivious to time.

When you're young, you can't imagine standing where your parents stand. You never dream that someday you'll be one of those pillars holding up the family, trying to help make decisions about things you had been happily oblivious to just months before.

 

 

Now time is tick, tick, ticking in my head. I feel the weight of it on my shoulders. I see, more than I ever did when I first became a mother, that circle of life, and I know that one day my kids will be taking my place as the pillars. 

But I remind myself that, if my kids are as blessed with oblivion as I have been, that time is still years away, and that I need to live each of these days, these years, to the fullest, just as my parents still do, to the best of their abilities.

I can't let the tick-ticking or the weight on my shoulders keep me from noticing blessings like cool old red trucks on display along the highway...

 

I pass Timeless Texas Classics on my way to and from Houston. Usually I travel too early or too late, and it's locked up. The old cars are tucked safely to bed up near the building.

But this past Wednesday the gate was open and these beauties were lined up close to the road. They smiled and waved at me, but I drove on by, in a hurry and too caught up in all I needed to do once I got home.

Then I realized the gift of the moment and made a U-turn. I spent several minutes walking up and down, snapping their photos, relishing that bit of suspended time.

Old cars and trucks make me smile - especially old trucks painted cherry red like the beauty above. And when you're a pillar - no, especially when you're a pillar - you need to do things that make you smile.

 

It really made me smile to hang out with a bunch of twenty-somethings that same night in honor of my soon-to-be daughter-in-law's 25th birthday. 

 

 

 

It was a little over six years ago when Tommy went to a friend's cousin's high school graduation party and fell in love. It's hard to believe Kirby was just eighteen when we first met her (and fell in love with her, too.)  

I love that all of my kids are living in Austin now, close enough to wish them happy birthdays in person.

 

Despite the challenges of the past few months, I'm still loving this season of my life.

I haven't been dancing as much as I'd like, but I can still dance. I can still walk down my dirt road and climb hills with my sweetie and puppies. I can hop in the car and meet friends for dinner... when we have time.

Time is the biggest challenge.

I haven't had time to finish my photography website or post new samples to sites where I can sell my photos or a dozen other things I need to do for my business, but this afternoon I get to photograph a beautiful family for the second year in a row. Last year the weather didn't cooperate and we had to take a few shots inside, so this year I'm going prepared with lights I borrowed from a friend, and I've been brushing up on how-to's of indoor portraits. Just in case.

I can still learn.

I'm also preparing for my writer's group meeting tomorrow evening. Thursday I was gloriously stranded at home alone for hours because Tom's car is out of commission and he needed mine to get to work so I spent them working on my children's book. Despite all that time, I barely eked out one short chapter, but I also overhauled my outline and fine tuned previous chapters, things I couldn't have done without several undistracted hours.

The next few chapters should come easier, and that's good, because I'm holding on to my goal of finishing my book by December 19, so I can submit it for critique before February's conference.

 

I hope whatever season of life you're in right now, you live it to its fullest. Let's make a pact not to waste a single moment of this sacred time we've been given... and especially the time we have with our loved ones.

 

 

Nothing in the world is permanent, and we're foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we're still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it.

~ W. Somerset Maugham

 

Small Stones from Methodist Hospital

Today is the first ever Mindful Writing Day, and I almost missed it.

Small Stones is a term used by Fiona Robyn, from Writing Our Way Home, to describe a moment when you stop, focus and really pay attention to one thing and write it down, using words that evoke the senses.

I began gathering my stones in Methodist Hospital last week, while waiting there with my mother during my dad's surgery. I'm not sure if I did it right, but in any case, these are a few stones I gathered to share. Others gathered today...more private...I've tucked away in my heart.

 

Low voices. Muffled laughter. Squeaks and rattles and hums of carts and curtains and beds. Seconds tick in slow motion. Nearness and life press into heart and memory.

Momma's breath, rising, falling in sleep. Curtain-filtered light softens the lines on her face so close to my own, erases the years to a time when she was the night watchman who guarded my slumber.

Hospital time, measured in tap-tap-taps of IV drips, a succession of television shows, and nurse visits. 

Purses and bags of hospital-waiting necessities dangle from above. Snacks, medicine, writing material, books. Daddy's street clothes rest in Mama's lap, wrapped in a clear bag. Excuse me, excuse me, and everyone smiles, opens doors, makes room for the pretty lady in the wheelchair and her klutzy driver.

 

Check out the other stones on Writing Our Way Home and on the Mindful Writing Day Facebook page. And join me in the Rivers of Stone Challenge this January - write one stone every day. 

 

"Pay more attention and fall in love with the world." ~ Fiona Robyn

 

 

 

 

 

 

Muddling along on a Monday...

I woke in darkness yesterday morning.

A thunderstorm paid us a surprise visit in the middle of the night, giving us the whole shebang... lightning, wind, huge thunder booms and buckets of rain. Great snuggling weather. 

But a power outage, when you need to get ready for church and work, makes you realize how much you take electricity for granted, doesn't it? And you would think, by the third time you hit the light switch heading into the bathroom, you'd remember it's not going to work because there's no electricity!

By the time the sun rose, the dark clouds had moved on to terrorize other parts of the world and we've had glorious sunshine and dryer, cooler temperatures ever since... all the way down in the 80's!

Autumn has most certainly arrived in my part of Texas, even though the only color is still along the roadside in the form of yellow, white, and purple wildflowers. The only colored leaves are ones that succumbed to the long drought.

 

I met with my writing group last night. I'm still working on my book, even though progress is in baby steps. I even signed up to meet with an agent and an author for feedback at the writing conference coming up in February. That means I need to send samples of the book to them sometime in December...which means I need to have it {mostly} finished.

I love deadlines - without them I'd put everything off forever.

I've been subbing more lately, both in the elementary and the high school. I love the diversity of it, being able to help, and learning new things. Plus I love meeting new people. Even those a fraction of my age can be fascinating, like the third grader who gave me a refresher course on mancala last week.

What I don't love are rude kids, but those are few and far between, thank goodness.

Today is my sweet niece/goddaughter's birthday. I love being a Nina, but wish so much I could see her more often. Arizona is a long way from Texas.

This was from our summer reunion in Florida. (Nino Tom always grows a beard on vacation.)

Happy birthday, sweet Nicole! I hope you've had a beautiful day!

Through my writing journey, I've met so many talented writers. One friend from my screenwriting class, Richard Dean Johnson, has decided to tell his story in novel form first, just as I did with the historical fiction I'm writing based on my great-great grandfather's memoir.

Richard's story, Saving the Farm, was one of my favorite screenplays in the class, and I can't wait to read it in novel form, where he'll be able to better develop the characters and relationships without the page limits of a screenplay. 

Through Kickstarter, a funding platform for creative projects, he's raising money to hire a professional editor and publish the book in both digital and physical hardback book formats. Depending on donation amounts, supporters get perks, like copies of the book.

He's almost halfway to his goal, but only has a week left to raise the other half. Would you take a look at his Kickstarter page and possibly toss a few coins into his hat to help him with the project? You can find a synopsis of his book and information on how to donate on his Kickstarter page HERE.

P.S. I don't get a kickback from this plug - I'm just supporting a fellow writer who I believe in!

Good luck, Richard! Remember me when you're famous!

And now, my collection of sweet!s from the past week...

 

Sunday: a day with family; knowing your boys made it home from a road trip to visit their grandfather on his birthday

 

 

Monday: watching the Dark Shadows movie with your mom and dad; spotting a woodpecker just out the window; driving into a glorious red sky, headed home; a wiggly puppy greeting you on your front porch

Tuesday: a heating pad on a pinched muscle and a few more minutes to sleep; taking a day off for a slow walk through fall wildflowers and getting reaquainted with your drums

Wednesday: mist draped across a hill's shoulders; finally creating your photography business website; a whole hour of Modern Family, and watching it with your sweetie; following through on your promise to yourself to go to bed early

Thursday: getting up in time to run before heading to work; a refresher course on Mancala from a third grader (and winning!); elementary school assemblies; spending the evening with your daughter

Friday: your son letting you know of job openings he knows you'd love; finishing up a chapter in your book-in-progress; a call from a friend you haven't spoken to in awhile; a good news text from a friend; cyclops cookies, fresh out of the oven

 

 

 

Saturday: remembering the day your blue-eyed, dark-haired middle son was born; helping prepare for a wedding at a winery; celebrating your son's 24th birthday; pumpkin ale, pumpkin cider, and silly movies with your son and hubby 

 

 

Sunday: snuggling deeper under the covers on a stormy pre-dawn morning; blue skies after a night of thunder and lightning; power returning after an outage; spicy carne asada when you're feeling really drained; meeting with your writer's group in person for the first time in weeks

Monday: being in the right place at the right time to help someone; teenagers listening and following rules when you're subbing; high schooler's informational speeches; an afternoon walk with your puppies

 

I hope you already have a great collection of sweet!s started for this week!

Linking up with

Rainy Days, for a change

Gray clouds arrived in our area Thursday, causing flash floods just down the road, washing away boat docks that had been sitting on dry ground for two years... long enough for grass to grow underneath.

Drought to flood - that's how it goes around here lately.

I took this on Thursday morning. I stood on what used to be part of a pond. 

 

This is what it looked like Saturday morning.

 

Thank goodness the rain slowed its zeal and settled into a nice, steady rhythm the past three days that allowed the water to soak deep into the thirsty ground instead of falling so fast it becomes a destructive, dangerous mob.

We still need more of the slow, steady stuff, but I was relieved to see the gray clouds break last night in an explosion of blue sky and orange clouds, just in time for my oldest to head to his (other) home.  I was grateful for the rain, but more grateful he wouldn't have to drive in it.

 

 

 

I skipped my writing critique group last night because Tommy was going to hang around until after dinner. Perhaps that's not very professional and indicates I'm not serious about my writing, but above and beyond any other hat I wear, I'm Mom and grab any chance I can to soak up the sight of one of my kids...

 

 ...or a grandpuppy.

That's GPuppy Josie on the left, and my Belle on the right. Can you tell they're related?

 

They aren't really related, of course, not technically. But Josie was such an awesome dog, that when we saw the puppy photos of Belle, how could we resist not bringing that precious Rottweiler-mix face home?

Now I'm on to a new week, one that already has so many fires burning that I don't know which one to put out first. But it's a week full of sweet! potential. Hope yours is the same!

Here are a few sweet!s from the past week...

Sunday: an unexpected afternoon off, to piddle around the house; a text from a friend, out of the blue, even if it's a photo of a motorcycle he just bought, reinforcing your belief that he's in the midst of a mid-life crisis

 

 

Monday: meeting a porcupine on your morning walk; your puppies actually minding you and not taking off after before-mentioned porcupine;sipping coffee on a crisp autumn morning, watching the sun slip into your Hollow; meeting dear friends for dinner to help celebrate a birthday; rediscovering your taste for beer 

 

 

Tuesday: running the whole three miles for the first time since your vacation; seeing your future-daughter-in-law, dressed in THE wedding dress; Panda Express orange chicken; finding a dress for your high school reunion and one for THE wedding in one store, in one trip, and having a 20% off coupon with you; a quick hug from your baby; your husband's back well enough to help carry groceries into the house

Wednesday: connecting with another friend from the past; your cataract not growing at all in a year; a block of time to work on your children's book; your baby girl calling before you call her; good news from your sister; rocking on a porch with a dog at your feet, watching the setting sun kiss the clouds; your husband turning into a little boy at the sight of a tarantula and a snake

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thursday:; not having to leave your house for anything except your morning walk with your puppies; making progress on your book; rain falling outside your window, all day long

Friday: walking in the rain, for the first time in months; friends letting you know about the bomb threat to, and subsequent evactuation of, your baby girl's college; hearing your baby girl's voice, knowing she's okay; two more episodes of Breaking Bad with your sweetieR 

Saturday: getting to share the Sally O'Malley Rockettes video with another friend for her 50th birthday; tall purple gayfeathers lining the roads; the smell of bread baking in the oven; a visit from your son and grandpuppy; saving almost $3K by switching insurance companies

Sunday: praying beside your husband and son in church; mist draped across the hills; homemade biscuits smothered in wild boar sausage gravy; potato and leek soup on a rainy day; hearing two favorite songs you haven't heard in ages (more on those later); your son and grandpuppy waiting for you to get home from work before heading back to their home; a glorious sunset after a day of steady rainfall

 

I hope you are stepping into a week full of sweet! moments! Remember, sometimes the simplest are the sweetest! Share them here! 

Thursday?!! What happened to Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday?

When I woke up this morning, light splashed across the livingroom floor, a "good night!" from the full moon who quickly snuggled under the treeline, out of sight.

Then tonight moonlight bathed our metal roof, making it glow. I never get tired of seeing that. One day I'll figure out how to capture a photo of it. For now, you'll just have to imagine it yourselves (or come visit when there's a full moon!)

This has been such a fast week, with very little time at home. Consequently,  my email has piled up... the laundry has piled up...  the dishes have piled up. But I did manage to send a short chapter out to my writing group this morning before work and got started on the laundry.

Before you think I'm complaining, I'll confess that Tom and I are hooked on Breaking Bad (via Netflix) and have watched at least two episodes this week. I rode horses last night and went to dinner and the movies with friends tonight.

I could have said "no, I have work to do", but I figure email, laundry, and dishes will always be there, right? Not necessarily true about husbands, horses, and friends.

The writing, though... I really need to make time for that. Photos, too. I don't think I'll ever get the balance down, but I'll keep trying.

 

Monday I spent the day with TG, mostly getting her settled in a new apartment. It took us hours to complete the move-in checklist - the place was a wreck! Besides being just plain dirty, there were tons of broken things.

I took at least 50 photos and then showed them to the managing company when we turned in the check-list. They really try to take advantage of those students and it makes me mad. But the woman I spoke to seemed as upset as we were and within a couple of days they had taken care of a few of the problems.

While I was downtown, I stopped by the camera shop to have them take a look at my zoom lens, fingers crossed the focusing problem would be an easy fix.

No such luck. The focus mechanism gears appear to be broken, requiring a month-long stay at the factory and a potential chunk out of my checking account. A replacement lens is totally out of the question right now, though, so I'll just pray this vacation does the trick and we have several more years together.

*****************************************

 

Dear TV Meteorologists,
Please get inside out of the hurricane. It doesn't impress me to see you trying to stand up in the wind and battered by the rain. It just makes me question your intelligence. I really don't want to see you hit in the head and killed by debris, or swept away in a flood, and have to live with that memory. 
Thank you.

I posted that on Facebook yesterday in a fit of frustration after watching Al Roker and some other guy struggle in the wind and rain of Hurricane Isaac while telling us how the wind was so strong it knocked down a piece of concrete culvert.

Yikes! 

I've been trying to keep an eye on Hurricane Isaac, praying for family and friends in Louisiana, but geez, those silly weathermen make me want to just turn off the television. What about you?

(So far everyone I know seems to have come through with minimal damage, thank goodness.)

 

 

 

I've been up before dawn every day this week, walking the puppies in the pink light of a new day. Both of Max's hind legs drag a little now and he has the bony hips that come with old age.

But he still grins and teases Belle, making her blast off and run rings around us until she's spent. He's still a happy dog and doesn't appear to be in any pain. For that I'm grateful. 

 

 

 

 

Disappointment

 

How do you deal with disappointment,

and what lessons do you have to share from those experiences?

That's BlogHer's Life Well Lived Getting Happy question of the week and it's had me sorting through my past, trying to remember disappointing moments in my life. It was tougher than I thought it would be - I think the way I deal with disappointment is to accept the feeling, try to learn from it, forgive or forget as necessary, and move on. 

But I finally dug up a few disappointments: crumbled friendships that I thought were rock solid, some broken promises, missed opportunities, rejection letters... 

I remember like it was yesterday finding that letter in my mailbox...the one telling me the Texas magazine wanted to publish and pay me for the very first personal essay I had ever submitted anywhere in my entire life. I was flying so high from their acceptance and the validation of my writing that I'm sure my feet never touched the ground on my way back to the house.

The low that followed when I sat down to write again was fueled by the fear of rejection. It was so scary sending that next essay out into the world, sure that people were going to read it, shake their heads, and whisper that my first success must have been a fluke.  

But I made myself write it and send it out anyway. I also read all I could about famous writers who had received numerous rejection letters. It helped prepare me for my own inevitable rejection letter.

In a way, it was a relief to get that first rejection out of the way. I was disappointed, of course, but I lived. And I also learned, because the editor, Ken Hammond, let me know his reasons and encouraged me to try again. 

Before the Houston Chronicle quit publishing the Texas magazine, it rejected several of my essays, but accepted and published two more.  And one they rejected received an honorable mention in a Writer's Digest contest.

The thing is, disappointment is just part of life. If you want to experience the highs... if you want to appreciate the highs... well, you have to expect the lows.

You probably get bonus points for appreciating them, too.

So... 

 

How do you deal with disappointment,

and what lessons do you have to share from those experiences?

 

Please share your answer here, but then hop over and join in the conversation on the main post HERE. To win an iPod Touch, leave a comment on the sweepstakes page HERE.

 

 

A Photography, Writing, Duck Soup, Fajitas, and Birthday Cake Weekend

Several months ago, on a slow Saturday at the winery bistro, I waited on a man and his wife. The man had a Nikon, so of course I started asking him a jillion questions and talking photography.

Their son had gotten married that weekend, so I gave him my email address and he sent me the link to the photos he took (fantastic!) and some websites to check out for posting pics, etc. 

Well, this past Saturday Steve (that's his name) dropped in for lunch and a photography shoot. He sat by a window and was able to snap images of some hummingbirds that never stay put long enough for me to grab my camera and capture.

It was a busier Saturday than the first so we didn't get to talk shop as much, but it was still fun seeing him in person again.

Isn't it amazing how friendships are born?

From work I drove straight to my writing critique group meeting. I finished my latest chapter too late for everyone to critique this time (the key thing is I finished it!), but I benefit just from meeting with these women and sharing critiques of their works.

Three of the members were pitching their works-in-progress at the Writer's League of America conference and couldn't make the meeting; before we left we heard via phone that all three had been asked to submit chapters to agents! I'm in good company, that's for sure. (I hope they let me keep meeting with them!)

From there, I headed to a concert-in-progress by Duck Soup. Our school's previous band director, Les Huff, is a member and I had yet to hear him play in this band. I finally made it!

The place was packed and I had fun listening, snapping a few photos, and dancing in place from the sidelines, but even more fun when I met up with Les' wife and made it out to the dance floor during the last set.

That's Les on the end. Don't let all the gray hair and bald heads fool you... these guys can rock!

Here's a better one of Les. Notice the trumpet at his feet? Multi-talented! 

The dance floor was packed, with all ages represented...

(I'm not going to say where they were playing because this restaurant, previously one of my favorites and one I've given tons of free publicity in the past, has decided to put a minimum tab of $50 on all outside seats during these concerts. So I won't be eating there anymore or mentioning them on my website.)

Sunday after Mass Tom and I drove to a friend's house to help her celebrate her birthday, which was actually today (happy birthday, Leslie!)

Fajitas, birthday cake, and friendship - the perfect ending to a beautiful weekend.

(Today Tom and I went hunting snakes - but I'll save that for another post.)

Hope your weekend was filled with music, friendship, and things that bring a smile to your face!

 

 

...whispering hope

I sat on the porch swing this evening listening to David Gray and watching the cardinal couple dine at the feeder. Just as the sun slipped below the trees, I felt myself slipping, too, into worry about the future.

But right away I hit the brakes and scrambled back up to reality. It hit me that I was sitting in what used to be a future I worried about years ago. Over and over again, most likely.

And I was fine. Broke and unsure of what was ahead, but overall fine. At least in that moment, I sat on a porch swing of a dream-come-true home, healthy, knowing my kids are relatively okay and that I have friends and family and really, really good credit.

So I stopped worrying about what was around the next curve and just enjoyed those moments.

There's been so much going on, so little going on. Words are getting tangled up in my mind, but I'll try to give you an update...

Max barely ate last night. Didn't eat anything this morning. Stayed in his doghouse all day, refusing to go down to the pond with me and Belle for a swim this evening. 

My heart was breaking. He's old, and I know it, but I hate having to face it.

I fixed his dinner and called him as usual, although I really didn't expect him to respond. But he did. And he actually ate almost all of his food. Sure, I held the bowl for him while he laid in his dog bed, but we do what we have to do, don't we?

And then he barked ferociously and ran off into the woods chasing something with Belle.

I was happy again.

It rained yesterday. 

I didn't go out and dance in it, but I was tempted. I'm pretty sure my crape myrtles were dancing.

The sun came back out today, and I admit I was happy to see blue sky and fluffy white clouds. But I do hope the rain comes back soon.

Do you remember Haley, the neighbor dog with a heart of gold who was hit by a truck or something but survived because she's a rock solid pit bull?

Well, she's also a little creepy, too, like Cujo, in that you'll look up and she'll suddenly be sitting there, silently staring at you.

That's what happened this evening. But I was happy to see her because she doesn't actually live next door anymore. The son, her owner, flew the nest to a house of his own.

I've missed Haley. And I think she missed me, too. After I snapped this photo, she came over to see me, tongue hanging out.

Then she waded into our creek and ate some frogs.

 

Three pennies and a nickel sit on a shelf in my closet. Alone they wouldn't buy much, but they're worth more than their monetary value to me. Each one appeared on the ground in front of me a few weeks ago, whispering "In God We Trust" at a time when my heart was dragging behind me. Five coins in one week reminding me to trust God.

I heard "trust" whispered to me all that week from quotes, fortune cookies, songs, emails. Soft reminders that lifted my heart. 

And then the next week, just when fear of the future began sprinkling seeds of doubt, everywhere I looked I read "Courage!"

Trust, courage...

...and love, the greatest of all.

On my quick trip this past Sunday to spend Father's Day with my sweet dad, I noticed this heart-shaped reminder resting on their front porch.

And then on the drive home...

 

 ...black-eyed susans and new grass flourished beside the charcoaled trunks of pine trees near Bastrop, victims of the fires that swept through last Labor Day weekend. 

From the ashes, life arises.

Whispers of hope.

This is my command - be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. ~ Joshua 1:9

 

That's my week. How's yours going?

 

 

Flowers for Leontien (and other Sweet!s)

June 3 will mark the 4th anniversary of my first blog post.

I started blogging because, as I write in my "About" section up above...

"Diaries, letters, and scrapbooks became journals, writing classes and essays became Long Hollow (and a few fictional works in progress...) 

But come to find out, what started as an outlet for my journaling and writing needs also satisfied this desire inside of me to connect with people. I was the kind of kid who wrote letters to everyone I knew and wanted tons of pen pals all around the world.

Blogging has given that to me.

Through my blogs... this one and my photography blog... I've met people I probably would never have connected with otherwise.

Just to name a few, there's the  Methodist minister in South Africa. The anesthesiologist/playwright in California. And the transplanted Wisconsonian photographer/artist/animal lover living near Dallas named TexWis Girl.

Earlier this week, I received an email from TexWisGirl letting me know about a surprise blog event called Flowers for Leontien, scheduled for today at 8 am, in honor of fellow blogger, Leontien Vandelaar of Four Leaf Clover Dairy.

I actually don't know Leontien, but she is battling cancer, and other bloggers who do know her felt our support and participation in this event would show her that her blogging community is there for her -- by posting a flower photo with {{hugs}} as the message to Leontien on our blogs today and linking to the "Flowers for Leontien" post on A Rural Journal.

By coordinating our posts, TexWisGirl and others hope to demonstrate how much the blogging community cares for Leontien and is thinking of her at this difficult time. A big beautiful virtual bouquet delivered right to her computer.

As I said, I don't know Leontien, but it moves me that these other bloggers are doing what they can to support their friend, and reaching out to others to gather as much support as possible.

So Leontien, this Texas flower is for you with lots of {{hugs}}. 

I'll keep you in my prayers, for strength and peace and healing. I'm grateful for this blogging community that connected us.

*******************************

What a coincidence that the BlogHer Life Well Lived question this week is: How does blogging, journaling, writing and connecting online help to increase your happiness?

I think I just answered that question.

***************************

And now for a few other Sweet!s of my week.. 

Sunday: talking to all three kids in the same day; your mom calling to make sure you're okay; a call from your husband

Monday:a butterfly landing on your shoe; progress on your book for the first time in a few weeks; a blog friend using your photo in his post 

Tuesday: dinner with 2/3 of your kids; payday for one of your jobs; veggie omelettes; a porch swing at night, with a view of the crescent moon

Wednesday: free home grown onions sitting in a basket at your veterinary clinic when you go to pick up your expensive dog food; fortune cookies that tell you what you want to hear; your mom calling to check on you; more progress on your book

Thursday: your sister thinking of you when she sees an exciting photography opportunity; finally getting your Easter decorations put away; editing photos on a new, fast computer; making arrangments for a fun summer vacation at the beach with family

Friday: being back in high school and not caring if anyone likes you; a hug from a friend, via her little girl; goofy dogs; salmon colored sunsets

Saturday: joining other bloggers to offer support and prayers to a fellow blogger

Share your Sweet!s with me! I love to hear them! I hope your next week is full to the brim with them!

...Toss your hat into the latest BlogHer Life Well Lived Sweepstakes for a chance to win an iPod Touch and a $50 iTunes gift certificate to go with it. Go to the Live Well Lived main page to see the other answers and add your own to the comments.

For proper disclosure...

Tenacity

Tomorrow will mark four days in a row I didn't have to report to one job or another. That's a record. When I say "job", I'm not talking about working on my book or photography, but at one of those hourly paying gigs that help feed our bank account.

When I envisioned these four wide open days, I saw myself up early, typing away at my book, filling dozens of pages even before heading out for my morning walk with the puppies. I would then edit some photos, write a blog post or two before lunch, followed by making a major dent on my to-do notebook (it's expanded way beyond a list.) I would still have time to work out, and take the pups and my camera on an afternoon walk to the pond. 

Well, of course, in real life it didn't work out that way. I had so many odds and ends to take care of that it felt like my days just kind of piddled away.

I did manage to  work on my book a couple of times, edit some photos, and publish a blog post, but there are some major to-do's I still haven't tackled.

There's always tomorrow...

I say that too often these days.

The thing is... and I hate to put words to the phantom thoughts drifting through my brain.. but I'm beginning to think it's impossible to be a writer, photographer, blogger, personal historian, mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, waiter, substitute teacher, and.... um, I think that's it.... all at the same time.

But that doesn't mean I'm giving up. 

On one of my recent walks, I noticed new grapevine twisting around an old limb. Clinging, climbing, intent on moving ever up and up. I was first struck by the bright red color, but its tenacity is what mesmerizes and inspires me now. Tom cleared out as much grapevine as he could this winter - it tends to choke the trees - but grapevine is one stubborn, headstrong plant.

 

I want to be like that.

Last Wednesday night I attended a photography workshop by Clay Blackmore, a professional portrait photographer about my age who started with film thirty years ago. He had to make the switch to digital - and to edgier, artsy photos - to stay on top of his business.

The guy next to me and I started talking. He also was about my age and had been a film photographer who only recently picked up a digital camera, trying to get back into photography and make some money from it. I can't remember now what he asked me, but in answering him, I mentioned that I was writing a book as well as doing some portrait and art photography.

That's when the woman sitting in front of us, also about our age, turned around. She asked me about my book and how I found my critique group. Seems she started writing a romance novel twenty years ago herself, but set it on a shelf somewhere along the way. It had been gnawing on her lately to dust it off and finish it, but she just hadn't done it yet.

When we said good night a little later, I told her "Get back on that book tomorrow!" And she promised she was going to. I believe she did.

I like to think I inspired her. But she also inspired me.

So tomorrow, I'll be working on my book. And my photos. And my blogs. And transcribing an interview, scanning some old photos...

Tomorrow has arms wide open, full of possibility, don't you know?

 

I hope you've had a great week that included at least a few minutes of doing something you've dreamed about, something that makes your imagination soar and your heart beat faster.

If not, there's still time. What are you waiting for?

"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out."

~ Robert J. Collier

 

Adventurous Kids, No Dead Armadillos on the Porch, and other sweet things

My kids are off adventuring this weekend. I'm living vicariously through them. That's my right as their mother, isn't it?

The oldest and his love are in San Diego... yesterday they caught a glimpse of a migrating grey whale while kayaking!

The other two are off caving, separately. One in Austin and one a bit west of here.

A portion of my book takes place in a cave, so I asked them to take notes and photos for me, and they graciously agreed. (I had plans to go caving myself last weekend as research, but didn't make it because of my birthday party. No regrets!)

I love, love, LOVE it that these babies of mine love exploring and experiencing the wonders of this world, even though it keeps me on my knees praying in hyper-drive. 

On another note, is it just me turning a year older or has time suddenly shifted into a higher gear? This past week has gone by in a blur. My head is spinning and I've trouble keeping track of what day it is, much less my email!

But I managed to keep track of my Sweet!s, and here they are...

Saturday: being totally blown away and humbled by the generosity of your friends and family; a friend's beautiful paintings in person; sweet friends' faces you didn't expect to see

Sunday: Mass with your husband and son; the greening of a vineyard; fresh brick oven pizza; enjoying the last episode of season one of The Game of Thrones with 2/3 of your kids; finally getting a chance to play with your new Mac computer

Monday: new computer technology (amazing!); butterflies and dragonflies; friends who find you things they know you'll love at garage sales

Tuesday: high school theater classes; getting paid to watch the movie "Gandhi"; evening sunlight turning weeds into art

 

(the fish that swallowed Gepetto in Pinocchio - the artist is the girl on the left)

Wednesday:; finishing a good book; being able to help your baby; photography workshops; the frogs' midnight chorus welcoming you 

Thursday: watching the night sky turn into a cloudless sunrise; a fourth-grader's definition of happiness; teaching adverbs to fourth-graders

Friday: sleeping in; a day off to play with your new computer; new running shoes, long overdue and half off the regular price; sharing a quesadilla and a movie at home with your sweetie; your dogs not dragging the dead armadillo up onto the porch

Saturday: a wiggly, grinning puppy, first thing in the morning; dragonflies filling the air; pink cactus blossoms; your kids doing research for your book for you, and calling to let you know they're okay

Um, did you notice the 'dead armadillo' thing up there? I spared you the photo I took of it (it's a sickness, I tell you, taking pics of everything!)

Tom and I discovered the poor deceased thing on our walk Friday afternoon. In fact, he almost stepped right on it.

We suspect our dogs had something to do with its death, but have no proof. If they're guilty of its demise, I'm sure they only did it to protect us from great harm.

Sigh.

I really am just grateful they didn't feel the need to deposit that nasty thing on the front porch as is their usual custom with dead animals. We're making progress!

Vultures have been partying around here, as you can imagine, soaring through the skies. Since I didn't post the armadillo's portrait, I'll leave you with the vulture's... I bet he added the dead armadillo to his sweet! list!

What were your sweet! moments of the week? Share!

Totally. Blown. Away.

When my friend Darla mentioned having a birthday party for me, I agreed only because it was a good excuse for a get-together with dear friends from high school. 

"No presents, though!" I told her. "Make sure you tell everyone 'no presents'"! 

I knew she would still go crazy on food and decorating... she's a Master Hostess. The Diva of Detail.

But I was still surprised by these...

The next big surprise was turning a corner and seeing faces I didn't expect to see. Faces of friends who live hours and hours away, like Patti who even traveled with her margarita machine and the necessary ingredients for her delicious 80 calorie margaritas...

I was pretty sure my friend Annie was going to be there, even though she and husband Dan had some car issues they had to straighten out before driving in from Galveston. And I knew she was bringing some of her beautiful paintings.

But I'd only seen photos of them on Facebook and Etsy up until Saturday. In person they are even more amazingly beautiful.

Getting to take two home with me was certainly a sweet surprise! (Thank you, sweet, talented Annie!)

(you can see more of Annie's paintings in her Etsy Shop)

But as if those weren't enough surprises for this 53-year-old heart, they made me sit down while Patti read a poem she composed for me... which made me cry... 

and that ended like this:

So here's a little something to help you get that damn book written!

Then they plopped this huge box in front of me.

Breathless. 

That's how I felt as I stripped the paper away and realized these sneaky, wonderful people had somehow managed to give me a new computer. A brand spanking new giNORmous Mac.

My husband and Darla were the main conspirators. Oh, sneaky, sneaky...

He had even gone by there earlier in the week (when he told me he was working late!) and loaded some photos on it!

I'm still not sure who all is responsible - I know my kids were as well as some people who couldn't make it to the party. Darla promised to let me know, and as soon as I'm through with thank you notes, I'm taping their photos to my wall. I'll feel their eyes on me when I'm working, reminding me to stick with it. Whether it's warranted or not, they're putting their faith in me to finish my book.

Or maybe they were just really tired of hearing me complain about my old computer. I know Tom was!

Whatever their reasons, I still feel breathless and blown away when I think of their generosity and the depth of their friendship. It will be hard to repay them, but I'll do my best. 

 

‎"You don't have to have anything in common with people you've known since you were five. With old friends, you've got your whole life in common."

- Lyle Lovett

Born Wicked (Book Review)

"Our mother was a witch, too, but she hid it better. I miss her."

That's how Born Wicked by Jessica Spotswood opens, and I was hooked right away. One of the best openings I've ever read! She says so much in so few words.

Unfortunately, the book went downhill from there for me. If I hadn't agreed to write this review for the BlogHer Book Club with the stipulation that I finish reading the book first, I probably would have stopped after the first few chapters. There are just too many other books languishing on my to-be-read list to spend time on one that I don't enjoy, unless I'm given the book and compensated for my time.

Born Wicked is the story of three sisters, all witches forced to hide their powers. It's told in the voice of the eldest, sixteen-year-old Cate, who is trying to protect her little sisters and deal with two love interests simultaneously.

Why didn't I care for the book? It's not the genre or the age level - I love the Harry Potter series. It's the writing.

The narration is intrusive at times, breaking up the flow of scenes. Cate drones on and on, giving us explanations and back story that often merely restate what we just learned through dialog or action, in case we didn't get it the first time. Blah, blah, blah, boring. Too often Spotswood resorts to "telling" instead of "showing."

I dream of having my own book published, but I sure hope no one would let it slip through if I committed the same mistakes. 

The story is set in Massachusetts in the 1880's , but not the Massachusetts or the 1880's we're familiar with. Spotswood created her own world history, where witches founded the colonies for religious freedom but are now arrested and sent away to institutions when their powers are discovered. It's a man's world for sure.

And Dubai is important for some reason - it's mentioned several times in the first few chapters.

I feel the multiple random mentions of Dubai and the alternate history distracted from the story rather than added to it. Perhaps creating a whole new world would be better.

The premise of the story is interesting, and, as I mentioned, the opening is great. There are several parts in the book that reveal Spotswood's gift for writing, but I think overall the book could have used more editing and checks for consistency in character and plot. I can't help thinking it was rushed through, perhaps in hopes of catching the Twilight fans before they drift away to something else.

It has a strong Facebook fan page, and most of the other reviews were positive, so obviously it appeals to some people. But you won't find me reading Book 2 of The Cahill Witch Chronicles.  

This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own, as you've probably figured out.

 

Adding to my collection...

I started substitute teaching again.

Three years ago I started a (mostly) full-time job and, except for Voting Day and a couple of quick visits to talk about writing to students, I didn't step a foot into the schools during that time.

I missed it, and I'm so grateful the district accepted me as a sub again. Over the past few weeks I've reviewed color patterns... read Peter Rabbit aloud for the first time in more than a decade, as well as voiced a part in the last act of Othello...  watched a stage performance of "The Emperor's New Clothes"... enjoyed a documentary hosted by Peter Jennings about the 50's and early 60's (three times!)... learned about the dangers of drinking and drugs from Hollywood Henderson via VHS... and overheard some heartbreaking home life stories.

I'm not going to be the popular sub... at least not at the high school... because I don't care if the kids like me or not. I'm there to follow the teacher's directions, period. And, if possible, get the kids to learn something while they're under my watch.

After raising three kids and subbing for 15 years (plus one year on the payroll as the elementary school librarian) I'm on to all, or at least most, of the tricks. But I still have a soft heart and those kids can be really tricky. I'm sure they're going to pull one over one me every once in a while because they can also be interesting, considerate and funny.

I'm hoping to sub as much as I can until summer vacation starts. Unlike other jobs I've had in my life, this one gives me a good feeling, like I've actually done something positive with my time. It's also a great source of material for my children's book!

And, of course, the main reason I'm taking time away from my book for anything else is we need the money. I'm just grateful that I've been able to gather a flexible collection of jobs I enjoy:

1. Writer
2. Photographer (Art and Portrait)
3. Blogger
4. Book Reviewer
5. Substitute teacher
6. Winery Bistro waiter
7. Independent Silpada Representative
8. Substitute church secretary
9. Personal historian (although I haven't made much progress on this one!)

I feel like I've forgotten one or two...

Oh, well. It's hard to focus when this is what's going on around me...

So gorgeous! The world is exploding in color!

I pulled over to take this on my commute to #5 yesterday. And to sigh.

There was an art show going on around the estate, so during some down time, I grabbed my camera and walked around...

This was my favorite, by Shakti Sarkin. I didn't go home with it, though. The price? $1350. 

Made me wish I could add 'artist' to my list.

Here are a few other pieces that caught my eye...

I believe the art will hang around for a month. But we also have a new permanent addition to the Bistro. A pizza oven!

You can see Chef Sean is happy about it...

...but this is going to be sooooo detrimental to my waistline...

I love pizza.

I love my jobs.

If you miss me on Facebook or FlickR or in the comments section of your blog, now you know why! (Thanks for missing me, Patti!)

Catching My Breath (and other Sweet!s)

I haven't blogged in a whole week. I think that's a record. 

Snippets and ideas for posts have popped in my head - random words are scribbled on scraps of paper all over the house and in the car - but I haven't been able to stop long enough to work them into full posts.

This morning Life is moving slower and I'm hoping today I can focus my attention on those poor, neglected Good Intentions and Need-To-Do's I see moping in a dusty corner.

It's been a fun week, though. No exotic vacations or anything, but just Life and all of the challenges and adventures and love it provides. There have been beautiful spring days that turned into powerful thunderstorms with blustery winds and cold temperatures... which meant stinky country dogs cowering in the laundry room... but we're back to Spring and warmth and outside dogs now.

While I'm grateful for the rain, I'm not so grateful for the mosquitoes it awakened. They buzzed and bit me every step of my walk this morning. You can be sure I'll thoroughly douse myself with repellent every morning from now on.

Yesterday, TG fixed me breakfast... a delicious sauteed veggies/scrambled eggs concoction she prepared every morning over Christmas break that set my stomach growling with its divine smell. But it was always several hours after I'd already eaten.

I'm too lazy to go to that much trouble myself first thing in the morning, but yesterday I slept late after a sleep-deprived weekend and she woke up early to prepare for a Spring Break trip to the coast... which means we woke up at the same exact time! So when I saw the eggs and veggies coming out of the fridge, I worked out a deal with her involving laundry.

One of the best deals I've ever made! It turned out to be just as delicious as it smelled, and sustaining enough for a day on the run that included seeing her disappear into one of five chartered buses for an overnight drive (and praying the whole way home for their safety!)

Sunday morning I met a blog friend for the first time in person. Non-bloggers (or non-FlickRers, etc.) probably don't understand how exciting that is.  They might have trouble understanding how you can become friends with total strangers you connect to online but have never seen face-to-face, but I can assure you those friendships are just as real as any other. 

Wolf, of Just Add Father, was in town for a dad blogger conference. He delayed his flight home to meet me, Tom, and 2/3 of my kids for brunch downtown at the Driskill Hotel's 1886 Cafe and Bakery. It was just like meeting a long-time friend I hadn't seen in a while. 

Wolf is a pseudonym (he explains why he uses one on his blog) so we had some fun taking this photo below. I wanted one I could post here. (I'm sure the people sitting at nearby tables were wondering what the heck we were doing!) 

We chatted awhile on the sidewalk after eating, but knew it was time to part ways when my kids (ages 20 and 23!) got restless and started roughhousing on the sidewalk. 

Some things never change!

Actually, we needed to leave anyway because Wolf wanted to walk around and see the Austin sights before heading for the airport, and we wanted to get back to the house to visit with my oldest and his fiance before they had to leave.

They were in town for a wedding. After the reception on Saturday night, they brought friends back to the house with them and all of us were up really, really late visiting and laughing. I always enjoy seeing those grown-up kids, even though it makes me feel old, wondering how these kids who I swear were in middle school yesterday are now out of college, working, married...

Totally worth getting only 4 hours of sleep.

No, really it was.

<yawn>

Anyway, Sunday afternoon I grilled chicken and enjoyed a quick dinner with them, before dashing off (late!) to my writer's group meeting.

Even after all this time, my book is still a misshapen piece of clay. Writing is so dang hard. But with these women's input and guidance, it's beginning to take shape, although it still needs lots and lots of pinching, molding, scoring...

It's tough - even painful - but I'm grateful to them and willing to do whatever work is necessary to have a finished piece by the end of the year.  

Saturday I took a short road trip along Highway 281 to San Antonio. A friend of mine hosted a Silpada jewelry party for me.

Highway 281 runs through the Texas hill country and several small towns... a beautiful drive, even on a rainy day like Saturday. I spotted my first bluebonnets, splashes of blue drizzled along the roadside. I promised myself I'd drive out this week on a sunny day and take some photos.

Jewelry parties are always fun, what with the food and drinks, the sparkly silver bling, and meeting lots of interesting women, but this one was especially fun because Jackie and I went to high school together, but didn't really know each other until just recently. We reconnected thanks to Facebook and discovered we didn't live that far from each other.

Here we are with another high school friend, Marilyn, who came to the party. She lives even closer to Jackie but they didn't even realize it until recently.

And here I am with one of my dearest friends, Nancy, the first person I met when we moved to Lago. She now lives near San Antonio, so she and her daughter took advantage of the situation and came to the party, too. 

You just can't beat reconnecting with friends, playing with pretty jewelry, and making money at the same time, can you?

The rest of the week was a blur of writing, reading, subbing at the high school, trying to catch up on emails, and watching the Hollow explode in greens, blue, yellows, pinks, and purples. I'm hoping not to get lost in the busy-ness of this week.

I do want to mention Tuesday, though. I spent the day swim suit shopping with TG in preparation for this trip to the coast. There's always more under the surface than shopping, though... there's talking, laughing, sharing, and just soaking up the sight of her.

In one store, going through a clearance rack, I came across the perfect shirt to describe the way I feel...

We took turns trying it on and snapping pics with my iPhone, but in the end, I just went ahead and bought it. How could I not? It was cheap and fit perfectly, in so many ways!

And now for the official Sweet! report:

Monday: time to be still and breathe, sitting on a rock beside a pond, listening to running water and chattering birds, watching silly dogs and flirting dragonflies

Tuesday: hours spent with your daughter... shopping, talking, laughing; finding a really good fortune in your Panda Express cookie

Wednesday: porch swings; flowers and tree buds popping out everywhere

Thursday: finishing a great book; high school one-act plays

Friday: rainy days when a drought is fresh in your memory; some of your kids home for the weekend

Saturday: clouds sitting on hilltops; roadsides sprinkled with bluebonnets; a job that lets you catch up with 'old' friends and meet new ones; sangria; staying up late visiting with your kids and their friends, who used to be kids but somehow turned into adults; the birth of a great-nephew and photos on Facebook

Sunday: meeting a blog friend in person for the first time; brunch and people-watching at the Driskill Cafe; an afternoon with your son and future daughter-in-law; a writing group that keeps your ego in check

Monday: sleeping in after a sleep-deprived, busy, busy weekend; spending time with your baby girl 

Wishing each of you a week full of sweet moments!

Take It One Bird at a Time (and a week's worth of Sweet!s)

Right after work this evening, I drove straight to a stranger's house. Seven of us sat around a dining room table, munching on queso, chips and gluten-free brownies, discussing our 'babies' - the collection of words we've poured our hearts into for longer than we want to remember.

Our babies range from picture book to young adult, all in their last drafts, but we each have the same goal: to get PUBLISHED. Tonight we vowed to help each other achieve that goal to the best of our critical ability, with honesty, bi-weekly meetings, and a maximum of five pages every two weeks submitted for critique to one another.

Five pages at a time. Five pages is nothing, and yet five plus five plus five, etc., eventually equals a whole book.

A whole book is overwhelming, but five pages is nothing. I can focus on five pages.

In Ann LaMott's book Bird by Bird, she says that's the advice her father gave her brother when he had procrastinated on a huge project and the idea overhwhelmed him. "Just take it bird by bird", he told him.

Bird by bird. Page by page. Piece by piece. Day by day. Minute by minute.

Good advice for writing.

Better advice for life.

And now for more sweet moments of my week...

Sunday: an unexpected, extra evening with your daughter before she heads back to college, spent watching "Willow"

Monday: a room full of twenty-something girls, welcoming your daughter back to campus; getting $7 for a box of old VHS movies; chilling on the porch with your husband, neighbor, a gang of dogs and a glass of wine

Tuesday: a morning call from your daughter on her way to her first class; a call from your oldest, just checking in

Wednesday: a respite from your cedar fever; an 'in-person' hug from your daughter; serendipity striking again, placing you next to a sweet, helpful, supportive new business contact at a meeting; winning the doorprize (a beautiful silver necklace!); another of your blog posts featured on Pioneer Woman's sidebar

Thursday: morning sunlight on the hills; playing the drums after a long silence; a ray of hope in what you thought was a hopeless situation 

Friday: a prompt response from a Help Forum; sunshine and 70 degree temps in the middle of winter; your husband's French Toast

Saturday: blueberry cobbler and vanilla ice cream; putting your feet up and watching a movie with your sweetie after a long day

Sunday: a morning serenade, courtesy of the birds, frogs and running creek; a hug from a friend; happy customers; homemade flat bread pizza; clicking with your writing critique group; a wiggly puppy welcoming you home

Please share some of the sweet moments from your week! I really want to know!

And don't forget... if you're facing something that totally overwhelms you, just take it bird by bird...

God Bless the Late Bloomers!

Those things, good Lord, that we pray for, give us the grace to labor for.

~St. Thomas More

 

It's inside of me. I can feel it pushing, trying to stretch and uncurl its petals, this flower of mine. This flower of Me.

Some days it's stronger than others and I feel it's almost there, almost free, but then it grows still, frozen by doubts. 

What will it look like, this composite of seeds blended together over a lifetime? Will one color dominate, washing out the others, or will they all be in there, a mish-mashed rainbow?

Will you be able to see the writer, who can't help but try to capture and direct the flood of words constantly streaming through her brain? The photographer who always has a camera pointed at the world, hoping to freeze what her eye sees? The re-awakened business person who sold lemonade and knick-knacks on her childhood curb? The personal historian who loves to ask nosy questions... who finds true life stories as fascinating as fiction?

I don't care. Just bloom, already!

These late-bloomers inspire and encourage me to keep trying...

Mary Wesley was in her fifties before she published her first book, one of several for children she wrote. She went on to write a novel, "Jumping the Queue," published in her seventies. It was rejected several times before MacMillan Publishers took a chance on it. By the time she died at ninety, she was a widely popular, successful writer.  

Harriett Doerr went back to college in her sixties, after her husband died. She published her first novel at seventy-three, "Stones for Ibarra," went on to write many novels, short stories and essays... and win the National Book Award.

Mary and Harriett make my 52 years feel younger than ever, God bless them!

Other late-blooming authors include Frank McCourt (60's), Richard Adams (50's), James Michener (40's - a spring chicken!), Laura Ingalls Wilder (60's) and Raymond Chandler (50's).

Although I started writing years ago, it's taken me until now to believe in myself enough to make it a priority over other parts of my life. Not necessarily a belief in any talent I might or might not have, but in my doggedness and desire to write, and the belief that those are the keys to success as much as, or maybe even more than, talent.

I'm just too stubborn to give up now. 

Ripped Apart and other Sweet!s of the Week

A collection of colorful bags and pieces of luggage grows beside me. Today's the day I take TG back to campus to start the spring semester. Wasn't it just a few days ago that we carried all of those bags down from the car?

Christmas break went by so fast. At the beginning of it I had two kids at home; soon it will be just me and Tom again. Sweet, yet bittersweet.

Sweet because, luckily, Tom and I enjoy being together - we easily fall back into our pre-kids selves. Bittersweet because I enjoy having the kids around, too, and not only for all the help they give us with dishes, dog care, laundry... although I do miss that, too.

This might have been the last long break TG spends with us. By this time next year, she'll be living in an apartment, probably working near campus through the break, coming home for a weekend every now and then. Sigh.

I'll take it a semester at a time, though, and right now I just pray this one will be the best ever for her.

Well, while I wait for her to finish packing, I'll tell you a little about my day yesterday, spent in the World of Writers.

I finally made it to a meeting of the Austin Chapter of the SCBWI (Society of Children's Book Writer's and Illustrators) held at BookPeople, a wonderful independent book store in downtown Austin. I don't think I've every met a friendlier group of strangers in my life - the support and encouragement was palpable!

I sat in the only open chair I spotted,  After introductions, I discovered the woman beside me, as well as the two directly behind me, all live just a few miles from me and are eager to form a writer's critique group.Talk about serendipity!

The first session of the meeting was a presentation by author Brian Yansky on plot, character and structure of your story. Some of it was knew to me... some I already know but don't necessarily put into practice... and that's why I need reminders like this, especially from successful authors who are willing to share what has worked for them. Judging by the others who were scribbling notes, I'm not the only one!

Next, a few of us went to the third floor for the open critique group... the part I had been most eager for! I passed out copies of my first two pages, cleared my throat, took a deep breath and read out loud while they followed along.

When I finished, I could see they were hesitant, not sure if I wanted brutal honesty or encouraging pats-on-the-back.

"Rip it apart!" I told them. I've read too many books lately that began with seeds of great stories, but because of neglected pruning, had grown into huge distracting messes. I don't want mine to end up that way!

So with my blessing they ripped it apart, so to speak. Some of what they mentioned I had already wondered about myself, but needed another opinion... which is why I was eager for the critique group. Other things were surprises, and so even more helpful.

A critique can be painful if you take it personally, but I look at it as a really good workout... tough to get through but so invigorating and energizing when it's all over... and the only way to get stronger.

We took turns reading and critiquing, everyone offering concrete constructive comments. Writer heaven!

After a quick break (I walked to Whole Foods and enjoyed a cup of tomato basil soup at a small table outside, great for people-watching!) we gathered on the third floor again. Two of the members had attended a recent Story Masters Workshop where they took pages and pages of notes, all of which they shared with us. 

Spending a day with such a great group of talented writers (many published authors in the group) who encourage and support each other... very sweet!

And now for some other sweet! moments of the past week... 

 

Monday: a fire in the woodburning stove on a cold, rainy day; cedar pollen that's been attacking your nose and making you want to scratch our your eyes washed from the air by the rain; finally meeting a previously only 'online' friend in person; loose ends neatly tied up; joining a writer's group, at long last, to help you with your book 

Tuesday: the moment when dark clouds break apart to reveal blue sky; frogs singing in the distance, grateful for the recent rain; watching "The 10th Kingdom" with your daughter; cell phones that allow you to talk to your mom and your dear friend, despite the miles between you

 

 

Wednesday: $300 worth of free jewelry, thanks to your party!; a Post of the Week award from Hilary for one of your photography posts; that sparkling-clean-teeth feeling you get after a trip to the dentist; a jingle-jangle in your pocket for stuff you didn't want anymore anyway  

Thursday: getting word that a sweet kid you know was found before you even knew he was missing; scratching things off of your list; finally fulfilling a months-old promise to a friend

Friday: a "Happy Anniversary" first thing in the morning from you sweetie before you even realize it's Friday the 13th; puppies stretched out comfy and warm on the laundry room floor on a below-freezing morning; shopping with your baby girl; getting $17 for from a local resale shop for things you were going to toss out; any Ryan Reynolds movie

Saturday: a day spent with writers; getting honest feedback and suggestions on your children's book-in-progress; tomato and basil soup outdoors on a gorgeous day; a walk at dusk beside a running brook; home-brewed beer; watching Harry Potter movies with your daughter

Sunday: a friend thinking of you when a job comes open; watching more Harry Potter movies with your daughter; a call from your mom

What were some of your sweet! moments in the past week? (I know you can come up with at least one!) Please share them here!

Small Steps and Safety Nets

According to my resolved writing-career strategy for the new year, the first ten pages of my children's book should be dusted off, attached to an email and on its way to an agency by now.

I'm sure you can guess from that sentence that my plan has gone awry.

The time to begin writing an article is when you have finished it to your satisfaction.  By that time you begin to clearly and logically perceive what it is you really want to say. 

 ~Mark Twain

That's one of the dangers of setting your writing on a shelf for a few years. When it crosses your mind, it glows beautiful, fresh, brilliant through your rose-colored-glasses memory. But brought back into the clear light of the present under a critical, refreshed eye, its flaws and weak spots glare like tarnished silver. 

The wastebasket is a writer's best friend. 

 ~Isaac Bashevis Singer

The first ten pages. Those are going to win or lose the deal for me. They have to be tempting. They have to hook an agent, convince him/her they'll never rest until they read the rest of my book. Or at the very least, convince him/her there's some potential in the story.

But never mind the first ten pages... it's been two weeks and I haven't moved beyond the first paragraph! I've rewritten it half a dozen times. Probably more. I'm even second-guessing which scene should start the book.

I'm not a very good writer, but I'm an excellent rewriter. 

 ~James Michener

I realize I'm not so much an excellent rewriter as an obsessive one. One more week. Just one more week to play around with the opening, then I'm moving on with the rest of the story. 

But I've taken other steps beyond reworking the beginning and setting this deadline for myself. Something I've been wanting to do for a long time, but couldn't until I entered these empty nest years when my Saturdays are no longer filled with soccer games, track meets and band competitions. I loved all of those things, don't get me wrong, and I don't regret putting this off until now, but I'm really excited for the freedom to do this...

...I've re-joined the Society for Children's Book Writers and Illustrators! I let my membership drop years ago when I realized I couldn't be an active member. But monthly meetings and classes surrounded by other writers, the advice and support of a critique group and multiple sets of eyes examining my words... ah, just what I need! I'll have to thicken up my skin, preparing for the inevitable harsh critiques, but "no pain, no gain" holds true, even in writing!

The story I am writing exists, written in absolutely perfect fashion, some place, in the air.  All I must do is find it, and copy it. 

~Jules Renard, "Diary," February 1895

Forward, march...

 

To Say "It's Done"

I knew what I wanted.

To lay words on page, one after another. Words that twisted and turned but always moved forward through the life of my great-great grandfather, allowing my readers to experience the adventures, heartbreaks and joys of his life. 

Most of all, I wanted to lay the last word. To say "It's done." To bless, to send away, to cross fingers and pray.

A year should have been enough, right? An hour or two a day of steady writing for a year would have gotten me to the end of the journey. An hour or two is nothing... the time it takes to walk and feed the dogs or check my email. 

But the days of our lives are tricky adventures themselves, full of their own twists and turns and dark holes that make hours vanish into thin air... all too often the very hours I needed to tell his story.

And on the rare days I was able to slip away from other projects and responsibilities into his story, instead of steadily moving forward, one word after another, I'd find myself trapped in the quicksand of historic research where hours can truly disappear.

This year, again, what I want most of all is to say "It's done." I want to lay the last word and send something away with a prayer. To finish something without being lured away by another story.

So I'm stepping out of my grandfather's journey and back into another I'd written to the end, but that just needs a little sprucing up here and there. The one my grandfather's story pulled me away from.

There's no need for research, only the loosening of my imagination and the dedication - the determination - to lay the last word. 

And then I'll return to my grandfather's story, stronger, more experienced, more prepared to stay that course to the end.

 

This week we’d like you to write a memoir piece about an unfulfilled goal or a broken resolution, beginning with the words, “I knew what I wanted".

Kids, Jewelry, Birthdays, Weddings and other (belated) Sweet!s

A rumble of thunder and whisper of rain woke me in the night. It continues today, another steady, soaking rain falling from a colorless sky. We've had enough rain in the past few weeks that I almost take it for granted, despite the months of drought.

Almost, but not quite. Waking to the sound of rain is still a sweet sound, especially when I can roll over, snuggle deeper into my covers, and go back to sleep.

I would also almost start complaining about the soggy weather... the mud that gets tracked in, the slippery roads... despite those months of drought, but in between our frequent rainy days, we've had warm days with crisp blue skies (Saturday) and cool days with skies of rainless clouds (yesterday.)

I love it when things balance out that way! Very sweet!

Yes, I realize I'm running late with this post. I've been keeping up with my sweet!s this week... but my photos, not so much.

Well, I've been taking plenty, but all of them from the past week were still stashed on my camera until last night. I didn't have a chance until now to tidy my sweet! list and glance through my photos - it was one of those on-the-run weekends that I love, but that leave me breathless!

First, Daniel came home for a visit this weekend. His face is always a sweet sight, but I hadn't seen him since last year, when he moved out to his own place just after Christmas!

So you can imagine how happy I was to see him!

We spent Friday evening talking and watching a movie, just hanging out and relaxing. I was hosting my own Silpada jewelry party (one of my other "hats") the next afternoon, but thought I would have plenty of time Saturday morning to get everything done.

But after letting myself sleep in and then mentally comparing what I had left to do with how much time I had in which to do it, I realized I was wrong!

My kids were lifesavers, though, bless them... they pitched in and helped me pack up the last of our Christmas decorations away, tidy up the house in preparation and followed whatever other orders I barked at them. Such sweet kids!

Consequently, it was a relaxed open house. And what a great way to spend a Saturday afternoon... sitting around a table, sipping wine, munching on yummy snacks, talking to friends and looking at beautiful jewelry!

Tom and I headed out right after the party to help my dear friend Darla celebrate her birthday at Z'Tejas. (It was my first time there, and oh my gosh, it was soooo good! Great twists on traditional Tex Mex... I got the Wild Mushroom Enchiladas.)

(Again, my kids were lifesavers... they helped clean up from the party for me! I just hope Daniel will come home again some day... I don't think he was counting on all the extra chores!) 

Just getting together with these longtime friends from high school is a sweet way to spend a Saturday night, but we were joined by a face none of us had seen since graduation day. We reconnected with Wayne via Facebook and discovered he'd been living in the Austin area for the past fifteen years or so, too. We've probably passed him on the highway a zillion times...

After church Sunday morning, I met my future daughter-in-law in town for another day of wedding venue sightseeing. There are so many possibilities, it's mind-boggling! I'm glad I'm just a tag along and not the one having to make the decision!

I can have fun snapping photos...

And now for my belated list of Sweet! moments from the past week...

Monday: walking at sunrise; checking out wedding venues with your son, his future bride and her family (photos HERE and HERE); one of your blog posts listed on Pioneer Woman's sidebar links

Tuesday: frost sparkling in the caliche road like tiny diamonds; working on your book for hours, even if it doesn't feel like you made much progress

Wednesday: almost getting caught up on your email; a friend pinning a link to your blog on Pinterest; not burning the chicken legs on the grill even though you were distracted with writing; catching a movie with friends; extra-sweet... the movie starred George Clooney and was set in Hawaii ("The Descendants")

Thursday: the excitement and joy of puppies on a morning walk; words flowing onto the page without effort, for a change; a phone call from your sister; your kids helping you take down the Christmas decorations

Friday: fresh morning sunlight; bumping into a friend at the grocery store; the Epiphany; photos of your husband's aunt ziplining in Costa Rica in honor of her 74th birthday!; the sight of your middle son for the first time in two weeks

Saturday: your kids pitching in to get your house ready for your jewelry party; finding out one of your photos was chosen for FlickR's Explore; friends gathered around your table, chatting; a friend putting in an order for jewelry even though she sells it herself, just in hopes you have a good party; celebrating a dear friend's birthday and reconnecting with a friend from long ago

Sunday: kneeling and praying next to your sweetie in church; checking out more wedding venues with your future daughter-in-law; hearing from your oldest, letting you know he made it safely to Arizona for a business trip

(Monday: I didn't plan to add Monday on here, but first thing this morning, I received a message from a friend I've been praying for that he's met 'someone'. It made me smile, inside and out, so I had to add it here.)

I hope you had tons of sweet moments this past week, too. I confess, there are days when I have to think really hard to find one, but I always manage to... and often it triggers recollection of a few more. If you haven't tried it yet, I encourage you to!

 

Looking Back, Looking Forward

"A writer is somebody for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people."

~ Thomas Mann

If that's so, then I'm definitely a writer. There are times when writing isn't just difficult for me - it's pure hell.

But other times it's heaven, and that's why I stand here in January of 2012, once again repeating the mantra from past New Year's resolutions: finish my book... finish my book... finish my book...

In terms of writing, my 2011 looked a lot - too much - like 2010, 2009, 2008...

It's time to review what I've learned over my two decades or so of writing. I need to figure out what helps, and do more of that, while clearing the hurdles that are keeping me from the finish line.

Let's see... I've learned I need big chunks of time for writing. My writing can't thrive and grow on the handfuls of stolen minutes I've been feeding it for years.

I've learned multitasking is my enemy. I have to close all those extra windows on my computer that tempt me... Facebook being the main culprit, but email and even research sites can be time-sucking tempters.

Other things I've learned: I compare myself to others too often; I need the challenge, support and feedback of a writer's group; I have a problem with finishing what I start... and starting too many things.

On the 'up' side, I'm much better at saying 'no'. Housework, bills, laundry, cooking... I can easily shove the thought of them into a closet and forget they exist. Wearing earplugs helps me do the same with any nearby conversations or television noise. (I work at a desktop in the open livingroom.)

My biggest challenge for 2012? Finding a balance and setting priorities between all of my different interests/callings/projects... writing my book(s), blogging, photography, and my seed of a personal history/photography business... while not neglecting my family, friends and health.

Pretty much the same challenge I faced last year. And the year before. And the year before.

I hope that by next January, I can adopt a new mantra. At least for a different book.

Gifts

O Sunrise, 
splendor of light eternal and sun of righteousness:
Come and enlighten those who dwell in darkness 
and the shadow of death.

This sunrise was a gift, a splash of tangerine through my window reminding me that light conquers darkness, that each new day is a promise fulfilled, a gift to savor.

I rose at 4:30 this morning to write... a gift to myself but also to my family who has handed me the gift of flexible time and relative freedom to work on my creative pursuits, despite the echo of an empty bank account that goes with them. 

I owe it to them to face the empty pages head-on, to pull the right words out of my dreamy head and arrange them on the page the best I can, instead of just chasing them around in that dreamland of my imagination.

And I owe it to myself, because this isn't a pretty knick-knack you place on a shelf and admire, but the kind of gift you try to use up, the kind that won't last forever.

It's a gift I've wished for for so long that I've been hesitant to open it, as if I feared the beautiful thing inside wouldn't fit me.

I've wasted time fiddling with the ribbons, but not any more. This week I'm ripping into it, no longer worried about whether it will fit, but determined to make it my own.

I'm adding structure to my dreamland. No more vague boundaries between projects... I'm keeping track of my time, submerging myself in one venture at a time as much as possible, finding a balance between creative and business. 

No more multi-tasking, but pure focus on whatever I'm working on.

I've stepped back into my children's book; it's the closest to being finished and it just makes more sense to dress it up, slick back its cowlick,  and ship it off to a potential agent or two... and then get back to my historical fiction, where the research has become a bog, slowing my progress.

Besides... I missed my characters (Winston, Eddie, Reed and Nate) and felt guilty that I just left them hanging, poor kids. I could hear them calling my name every once in awhile, but like a busy mother told them, Not now. Go play.

I think they've forgiven me for neglecting them. They were a little stingy with the story yesterday, but today seemed to forget they were mad.... we had a pretty exciting morning!

I haven't forgotten my personal history business, but it's like a model plane I began building but had to set aside, without its wings.

This afternoon I spent a few hours transcribing those interviews with my parents from the summer. I love listening to their voices, hearing stories I've never heard, imagining them in their other lives, those aside from being Mama and Daddy.

It takes time, but to me, it's worth it. Their stories are a treasured gift to myself. I need to get this plane off the ground and help others discover the same treasure... the treasure of family stories. So a block of my day, or at least my week, is devoted to it, too.

I'm able to do all of this during the week before Christmas because TG and Daniel helped me decorate the house and tree. My cards are ordered - they'll go out after Christmas, but that's okay - the Christmas season runs into January. The Epiphany.

We have a "no-bought-gift" policy this year, so no frantic last minute shopping for me. The next couple of nights will find me baking cookies, editing and scanning and uploading photos... those are my gifts this year, gifts of my time and cooking and photography, but not I'm stressing or keeping tabs about what doesn't get done.

Why didn't we do this earlier? Somewhere along the way I feel we lost the point of our celebration... the birth of Jesus. 

On the phone with my oldest earlier this week, discussing our Christmas plans, I asked how he felt about not exchanging gifts this year. That triggered a near-rant that made my mother's heart soar, about the over-commercialization of Christmas and extreme emphasis on bought gifts. 

"I think Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday now... it's all about family and just hanging out with each other. I think that's how Christmas should be, too," he told me.

This isn't a drastic change in attitude for him - even when he was small he didn't ask for much, and when he was older, he scolded me for buying him things he didn't need.

The other two are the same way. I have no idea where their pragmatic, frugal outlook came from - I was a zealous 'gotta have lots under the tree' kind of mom for years and Tom's not much better - but I'm very grateful for their attitude now. Perhaps they just rubbed off on me. 

Those three are my best gifts ever.

Another gift... Tom's Pop is out of the hospital. Still no definite answers till test results arrive next week, though, so we appreciate your continued prayers!

 

 

 

"The Best Laid Schemes..." (What happened to Monday and Tuesday?)

According to my calendar, I'm in Galveston right now, visiting my friend Ann, finally getting to see the cute little Victorian house she's fixing up and browsing through some wonderful eclectic shops.

Things don't always go according to plan, though, do they?

Instead of strolling the tourist-free beaches and staying up late talking and laughing with my dear friend, I've spent the past two days glued to this old computer, spending hours and hours on projects that should have only taken half the time.

(I'm beginning to wonder if shoveling coal into it might make it go any faster. I don't think it could hurt!)

Ann's free days evaporated, too, anyway, complicated by family schedules. We're going to try again in the next month or two. Why are our lives still so complicated?

I'm grateful for the work that's keeping me glued to the computer, though. One is a photo shoot from a couple of weeks ago that forced me to learn Lightoom. I'm by no means an expert, but I've learned so much, thanks to tutorials and photography friends (thank you, Beth!) and learning something new is so much fun! (And frustrating. And agonizing.)

Unfortunately, one thing I've learned is that my E: drive on my computer has gone kaputz. Nothing like a few hurdles in your path to keep you on your toes, right?

The second project was a review for BlogHer with a quick turnaround, as in, I learned about it yesterday and the deadline was this morning. And I (pretty much) turned it in on time. Ahem.

It wasn't a typical product review... more of a personal essay on health and aging and menopause, so I was happy I was chosen for the project.

I can't believe it's already Wednesday, though. Here are a few highlights from the past few days...

 

My mother turned 80! Middle-son Daniel went with me for the celebration at my parents' house. I enjoy road trips with Daniel - he helps me find good radio stations and doesn't mind me singing along loudly, even when I don't really know the words. 

It was a quick visit with family, highlighted by fried Gulf shrimp, birthday cake, breakfast by Daddy, plenty of coffee, Mexican food, and my mother in a birthday sombrero... 

...which matches this one of my dad from last month...

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Oldest-son Tommy ran his first full marathon! If you knew all the nights I stayed up with him while he struggled to breathe with his asthma, you'd really understand how very proud I am! And how relieved I was that he crossed that line, safe and sound and breathing!

This photo was snapped by his sweetheart, Kirby. She completed her second half-marathon that day. 

Yay, Tommy and Kirby!

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I won a blog drawing!! This cute cup featuring a 'doodle' by Cyndee at Eloise's Collage arrived in my mailbox Friday. I love it! Thank you, Cyndee! 

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Remember the Thanksgiving Comes First campaign? Thanks to Suldog, I found out about a petition to "Tell Target to Save Thanksgiving". If you want to add your name, click HERE.

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It rained yesterday! I mean, really and truly rained!

Well, not enough to capture a photo of the actual rain, but I did get one this morning of a dew-covered wildflower...

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Last but not least, Hilary at the Smitten Image awarded me a Post of the Week for As if I were beside you... Thank you, Hilary!

(Click the icon below to go read the other POTW and see her wonderful photography.)

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I hope you're having a wonderful week, even if your plans went agley like mine!

(At least I wasn't left with "nought but grief an' pain"...)

 

...The best-laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft agley,
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
For promis'd joy!

~from To a Mouse by Robert Burnes

Soft Mornings

 

On soft mornings

cotton candy clouds floating in a pastel blue sky

the wind and the trees laughing and talking and singing all around me,

I open wide the windows 

feel the brisk autumn breeze whoosh into every corner

carrying away all the bits of darkness and doubt and worry

leaving only energy and excitement and eagerness.

On soft mornings 

the day before me stretches out, timeless and infinite.

On soft mornings I can do anything.