Long Hollow

I Blame LinkedIn

Instead of exercising this morning before heading to work, I made the mistake of clicking on my LinkedIn profile when I got on the computer to pay some bills. By the time I finished updating it, I was scrambling to make it to work on time.

So as soon as I stepped in the door this evening after work, I changed into my work-out clothes, determined to keep up my routine. But I was starving. First I would eat, then I would work out.

But I couldn't work out right after eating, could I? So I cleaned off my desk and sat down to finish paying bills until enough time had passed that I wouldn't puke when I jumped rope.

Money on my brain, or rather the lack thereof, I couldn't resist clicking on the email from LinkedIn telling me about jobs I might like. 

Well, I didn't like any of those, but I kept clicking and found one that actually did appeal to me and matched my experience and skills. So I clicked on "apply", which took me to a window requesting my resume.

Uh-oh. Updating my resume had been on my to-do list...or I should say, it's been ignored on my to-do list. It immediately moved up in priority.

I spent the next thirty minutes...hour...who knows how long, tidying it up to match the job, then finished applying.

Time to work out. No, it was late. I would just pay bills and get in bed early so I could wake up early enough to work out.

Oh, but first, I needed to print out one of my critique group member's submission for the next meeting in case I got called to substitute teach in the morning. I like to do my critiques during my long break periods. Too cheap to use new paper, I decided to clean out my file cabinet and find some paper I could recycle.

So I headed into the bedroom where the file cabinet is and noticed the basket of towels on the bed waiting to be folded. I remembered I had clothes in the washer and dryer, so I turned on "Dancing with the Stars" for ten minutes while I folded, then moved the loads around downstairs.

But instead of folding the next basket of clothes I pulled from the dryer (just Tom's work clothes - wrinkling wouldn't hurt them) I thought I better get back to paying bills.

Back on the computer, a quick glance at Facebook reminded me I wanted to submit one of my blog posts to BlogHer's Voices of the Year.

I'm getting very audacious in my old age! Perhaps I've read this enough times to believe it:

"Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers, why not gather your own bouquet?"

- from P.S. I Love You on my bathroom wall

 

But which post should I submit? I started scrolling through my posts until I came to The Artist. That would do. I filled in the nomination page then shared my audaciousness on the GenerationFabulous Facebook page, which is full of supportive women, but I've been neglectful of my own support for them lately, so I spent some time reading over a few posts and voting for their submissions as well. 

Finally! Time to pay those bills. Except, gosh, couldn't this whole crazy scenario make a great blog post? Especially if I mention the Painted Bunting I spotted out the bathroom window while I was flossing my teeth, in between eating dinner and sitting down to pay bills the first time? The one I captured in my camera when I left mid-floss to sneak out the back door and creep up on via the side porch?

And that's why I never seem to get anything done. I blame it all on LinkedIn. Now excuse me, but I really need to finish flossing, pay those bills and get in bed.

Oh, but first...

 

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

 

My coffee pot is wounded. I discovered a pool of black coffee seeping out from under it this week and panicked, thinking it was actually dead. I do have some of those individual coffee bags, but they just aren't the same as fresh brewed coffee.

But I tightened some tiny screws on a flange, and made a pot, keeping an eye on it. No obvious leaks. Just seepage. So if I immediately put the whole pot in a carafe, I'm okay. For now.

Then...I missed a chance to go dancing Friday night because I didn't pay attention to my calendar. And my middle son came home this weekend, but I didn't get to spend much time with him because I had to work. 

Also, I've missed two critique group meetings now because even though I've gotten up early and worked on my book a few times, I'm tearing it apart at the seams, then putting it back together, not really moving it forward. I have nothing to submit to the group for critique. Plus I haven't had time to critique anyone else's work because I've been working so much...

...which, of course, is a blessing. 

Here are a few other sweet! moments I noticed this past week, despite the bumps in the road...

Monday: wintery mornings that turn into spring days; brunch with a friend from your old neighborhood; bringing your youngest home for a few days over spring break; a check waiting in the mailbox

Tuesday: managing to wake up well before the sun to work on your book; making it through a crazy busy on-your-feet-running-for-hours kind of day at work without making any customers angry; collapsing in front of the television after work with your baby girl, even if it's to watch three episodes of Toddlers & Tiaras

Wednesday: spotting a pair of Mallard ducks on your morning walk; a vineyard in early spring; a crescent moon smiling at you on a night drive home

Thursday: sleeping in; a slow, lazy day; a text from your daughter letting your old puppy take the lead on a morning walk; reflective walks

Friday: making friends with other women in the shoe department when you shop for shoes for your son's wedding; making a little progress on your to-do list; the song of mourning doves

Saturday: your son coming to visit and making you a deluxe chicken and veggie quesadilla for lunch; working with a great team; chocolate torte; the night wind whipping down your porch and playing with your hair

Sunday: kneeling between your husband and son at Mass; remembering to wear your green shamrock beads to work on St. Patrick's Day; a grumpy customer becoming a happy customer; celebrating St. Patrick's Day with good conversation, corned beef, cabbage, potatoes, carrots, Irish soda bread, and Irish beer, thanks to good friends; your baby girl making it home safe and sound from the coast

 

In honor of St. Patrick's Day, here's a little Irish blessing for you...

May God give you...

For every storm, a rainbow,
For every tear, a smile,
For every care, a promise,
And a blessing in each trial.
For every problem life sends,
A faithful friend to share,
For every sigh, a sweet song,
And an answer for each prayer.

 

(my favorite kind of rainbow!)

Signs of Spring, and other Sweet!s

Like the Munchkins when Dorothy first arrives in the (movie) land of Oz, yellow flowers are popping up and peeking out at the world, one by one, to see if the coast is clear and the rumor is true..that the wicked old winter is gone.

(Not that our winters here around Austin, Texas are actually wicked, but I had to go with the theme.)

And last week I spotted a few American Robins up in the trees, another sure sign that Spring is headed our way, despite the lack of buds on the trees.  

(Obviously, the trees have grown cynical.)

 

Spring shows what God can do with a drab and dirty world.  ~Virgil A. Kraft

Here are a few more sweet!s that popped up in front of me this past week...

 

Saturday: watching old episodes of Dark Shadows with your son

Sunday: Mass with your son; celebrating friends' birthdays with margaritas and Mexican food, laughter and hugs; a long walk with your son and puppies; watching the Grammys for the first time in years

Monday: rain falling on the hills; working in a school library

Tuesday: drizzly mornings and mist on your face; homemade chocolate and peanut butter covered strawberries; wood-fire-oven-roasted veggies; crab cakes; a call from your oldest son; new running shoes

 

Wednesday: watching the sun rise on your morning walk; meeting interesting people; joining with your church family to celebrate traditions of your faith 

 

 

Thursday: a Mexican Jay escort on your morning walk; getting paid to watch a video on Fitness and Nutrition; a text from a friend letting you know about a job opening; finishing a project; Valentine's Day dinner with the love of your life

Friday: first graders, even when they stretch your patience; silence in a church filled with people praying; dancing the Cotton-Eyed Joe and the Schottische; waltzing; stars dusting the hilltops

Saturday: fresh pizza when you're famished; the giggle of leaves playing in the wind on a stone terrace; making a dent in your laundry and email after a week when you've barely been home

Sunday: a deep breath and a cup of coffee on the back deck before returning to the fast track; making surly customers happy; news that your son and his love completed the Livestrong Half Marathon with their personal best times; sitting on the back deck after work, sipping a glass of wine and pouring the characters and stories buzzing around in your head onto paper until it's too dark to see

Here's to another Sunday and another week full of sweet! moments waiting to pop up and surprise us! Keep your eyes open!

Share some of your own sweet!s from the past week in the comments. I love to hear them!

(Typepad's new spam-blocking system is still dumping 95% of comments, including my replies (!), into the spam folder. So don't worry if your comment seems to disappear! I'll retrieve it as soon as possible. Thank you!)

Mastering the Fine Art of Procrastination

If we are ever in doubt about what to do, it is a good rule to ask ourselves what we shall wish on the morrow that we had done. ~ John Lubbock

It's all John Lubbock's fault that my Christmas decorations still languish in boxes piled in the middle of the living room.

Instead of spending Friday writing, cleaning, decorating, and all of the other "ing"s I've neglected, I jumped in my car and drove across town to have lunch with my brother's high school girlfriend because I decided I would regret not seeing her more than I would regret not freeing those poor decorations.

Vickie  had always been really sweet to me and I hadn't seen her in almost 40 years. We recently connected on Facebook after she stopped by to see my parents, and I couldn't pass up the chance to see her in person.

And then John's words were all the encouragement I needed Saturday to spend the day in old Georgetown, shopping resale and antique stores with friends, and then heading to a friend's Christmas party that night, where I caught up with people I rarely get to see and danced to awesome live music.

Sunday was full with church and work. I didn't even need John to talk me into just watching a movie with Tom and the middle son, who came home for a quick visit (mostly to do laundry, but that's okay with me!) last night instead of scratching things off of a list.

So here I am on Monday again, but wouldn't you know, I picked up a cold somewhere in all my running around over the past couple of weeks, so today, I'm taking it slow and easy, minute to minute.

First I slept late, then took a long walk with the puppies, bundled up against the brisk breeze. Winter came back to see us last night and is sticking around today, with highs in the 40's, even with full sunshine. The last few days have been warm and gray, and I'm relishing this change despite my stuffy head and chest.

So today the decorations might make it out of the box...but they might not. I might work on Christmas cards, or my book, or photographs, or laundry...or I might just head off on another walk with the puppies, or curl up with a book and a cup of hot tea on the couch, or doze off, watching an old movie. 

I guess I need to ask myself what I "shall wish on the morrow" that I had done. But whatever I do today, I refuse to stress about anything. The sun is shining and it's a glorious day.

And here are a few sweet! moments from the past week:

 

Monday: remembering the day you became a mother; celebrating your oldest son's birthday with Mexican food and margaritas; catching up on email - almost;  Christmas lights twinkling in a city park

Tuesday: a safe road trip to your parents' house; a sweet friend dropping in to visit, bringing Subway sandwiches; the view from the 30th floor in the Houston Medical Center on a stormy day; friends thinking of you for photography gigs

Wednesday: nurses who care about their patients and doctors who make house calls; getting a Post of the Week from Hilary at the Smitten Image; a call from your son

Thursday: your dad taking his blood sugar and blood pressure and meds first thing in the morning without you nagging him; neighbors who rake your parents' yard without being asked; arriving home after a few days away; an afternoon walk with your puppies

 

 

Friday: seeing a dear friend's face for the first time in almost 40 years; blowing off to-do's to watch a movie with your sweetie

 

 

Saturday: spending the day with friends exploring resale and antique shops; Reuben sandwiches; finding an old picnic basket marked $3; dancing with new and old...er, I mean, longtime...friends to the music of Andrew Venson, Soulman Sam Evans, and company; word from your oldest that he survived the half marathon obstacle course he ran that morning

 

 

(I love old picnic baskets!!!)

 

Sunday: kneeling to pray between your husband and son; French onion soup when you're sick with a cold; steaks hot off the grill, courtesy of your son

Monday: sleeping in when you're sick, a walk with your puppies on a glorious winter day, and a wide open, unscheduled day ahead of you

Belle is leaping through the grass!

 

Here's to a week full of good health and sweet! moments for all of us!

 

Transitions

My Uncle Bobby passed away this week. Daddy's younger brother.

Like Daddy and the other men in his family, Uncle Bobby had suffered from heart and vascular problems for years, but it was a slow battle with cancer that took him away. He was a sweet man. In my heart I will always see him smiling, ready to laugh about something. 

That's him in the photo below, wearing my sister's wig, flanked by his son, Jeff, and yours truly, the Tomboy in ripped jeans. 

 

I'm grateful that I got to speak to Uncle Bobby a few times recently and assure him of my love and prayers. He called often to check on Daddy after his surgery. I'm glad they got to speak to each other, too.

Jeff stopped by my parents' house on my mom's birthday with a satchel full of old photo albums he'd found at his parents' house that had belonged to our aunt and grandmother. We opened them and stepped back into the years when we were oblivious to time.

When you're young, you can't imagine standing where your parents stand. You never dream that someday you'll be one of those pillars holding up the family, trying to help make decisions about things you had been happily oblivious to just months before.

 

 

Now time is tick, tick, ticking in my head. I feel the weight of it on my shoulders. I see, more than I ever did when I first became a mother, that circle of life, and I know that one day my kids will be taking my place as the pillars. 

But I remind myself that, if my kids are as blessed with oblivion as I have been, that time is still years away, and that I need to live each of these days, these years, to the fullest, just as my parents still do, to the best of their abilities.

I can't let the tick-ticking or the weight on my shoulders keep me from noticing blessings like cool old red trucks on display along the highway...

 

I pass Timeless Texas Classics on my way to and from Houston. Usually I travel too early or too late, and it's locked up. The old cars are tucked safely to bed up near the building.

But this past Wednesday the gate was open and these beauties were lined up close to the road. They smiled and waved at me, but I drove on by, in a hurry and too caught up in all I needed to do once I got home.

Then I realized the gift of the moment and made a U-turn. I spent several minutes walking up and down, snapping their photos, relishing that bit of suspended time.

Old cars and trucks make me smile - especially old trucks painted cherry red like the beauty above. And when you're a pillar - no, especially when you're a pillar - you need to do things that make you smile.

 

It really made me smile to hang out with a bunch of twenty-somethings that same night in honor of my soon-to-be daughter-in-law's 25th birthday. 

 

 

 

It was a little over six years ago when Tommy went to a friend's cousin's high school graduation party and fell in love. It's hard to believe Kirby was just eighteen when we first met her (and fell in love with her, too.)  

I love that all of my kids are living in Austin now, close enough to wish them happy birthdays in person.

 

Despite the challenges of the past few months, I'm still loving this season of my life.

I haven't been dancing as much as I'd like, but I can still dance. I can still walk down my dirt road and climb hills with my sweetie and puppies. I can hop in the car and meet friends for dinner... when we have time.

Time is the biggest challenge.

I haven't had time to finish my photography website or post new samples to sites where I can sell my photos or a dozen other things I need to do for my business, but this afternoon I get to photograph a beautiful family for the second year in a row. Last year the weather didn't cooperate and we had to take a few shots inside, so this year I'm going prepared with lights I borrowed from a friend, and I've been brushing up on how-to's of indoor portraits. Just in case.

I can still learn.

I'm also preparing for my writer's group meeting tomorrow evening. Thursday I was gloriously stranded at home alone for hours because Tom's car is out of commission and he needed mine to get to work so I spent them working on my children's book. Despite all that time, I barely eked out one short chapter, but I also overhauled my outline and fine tuned previous chapters, things I couldn't have done without several undistracted hours.

The next few chapters should come easier, and that's good, because I'm holding on to my goal of finishing my book by December 19, so I can submit it for critique before February's conference.

 

I hope whatever season of life you're in right now, you live it to its fullest. Let's make a pact not to waste a single moment of this sacred time we've been given... and especially the time we have with our loved ones.

 

 

Nothing in the world is permanent, and we're foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we're still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it.

~ W. Somerset Maugham

 

Doodles and More

I opened the mailbox Friday morning on my way to work, expecting the usual foul contents - bills and junk mail. And there it was, sitting on top of the pile like a glittering jewel - a package containing a T-shirt from my artistic, doodling, blogging friend Cyndee Starr, aka She Who Doodles.

 

 

I can't remember how or when Cyndee and I first connected in the blog world, but I've been a fan of her art for awhile, following her projects on Eloise's Collage first, and then, as she honed her doodling skills, on She Who Doodles.

When I gushed over her T-shirts, she offered to send me one. Of course, I said yes!! You can see why!

Mine is hand-doodled, but she has had such a demand for them, she is having her original designs screenprinted onto shirts. They'll be offered on her Etsy shop soon, so you, too, can have a shirt by Cyndee...er, that is, by She Who Doodles!

 

Thank you again, Cyndee!! Please remember me when you're famous!

 

Finding that shirt in my mailbox was a sweet! moment for sure, and here are a few more from the past few days...

 

Tuesday: an outside lunch with friends, on a patio perched in the trees; casting my vote in an important election; birthday parties; meeting the deadline on an article 

Wednesday: April, the Methodist Hospital follow-up nurse calling with information about house-call-making doctors for your parents; getting caught up on email; meeting a friend downtown for a glass of wine and window shopping for a good cause

Thursday: sleeping in; your puppy's exuberance at the sight of you; making progress on procrastinated projects

 

 

 

 

 

Friday: the sunrise through your home office window; packages in your mailbox; artistic friends; writings by middle-schoolers; spending most of your day in a library; getting paid to watch the opening scenes of Star Wars; a movie night with your sweetie (especially when the movie features Russell Crowe!)

Saturday: a morning walk with your husband before heading to work; surviving a dizzy-busy, stressful day without screaming out loud once

 

 

 

I'm heading back to my parents' after work tomorrow, to take Daddy to a follow-up doctor's appointment and celebrate Mama's 81st birthday.

My insides are starting to get a little wobbly from all the time on the road, the unfinished business, loose ends, deadlines, and dangling promises I know are waiting impatiently for me at home...not to mention being away from Tom so much. 

But I'm grateful to be able to go and help, to be able to celebrate my wonderful mother.

I hope you have a wonderful week full of love and celebration as well!

 

 

 

 

My Village

Summer and autumn traded places while I was gone. The purple flowers have faded, and the splashes of gold have moved from the blossoms that used to line the road up to the trees.

It's amazing the change a few days can make.

 

“Friends show their love in times of trouble.” ~ Euripes

I drove home from my parents Friday afternoon. I was scheduled to work Saturday and Sunday... plus I missed Tom, the puppies, my bed, my dirt road, the sound and smell of the woods...

Still, it was tough leaving, especially after spending the previous night in the Emergency Room. Mama fell in the bathroom around 1 in the morning, whacking her head hard enough on the floor to bring up an instant bruise, huge and purple as a plum.

Hallelujah, she passed the catscan, X-rays, blood and urine tests, and I drove us all home just as the sun rose red on the horizon. While they slept, I got her prescriptions filled and gathered my things, then before leaving, sat with Mama to fill out and submit applications for Medicare Part D, which covers prescriptions. I found out from the pharmacist that Daddy hasn't been getting a lot of his meds filled. When I asked Daddy about it, he said they were too expensive.

(Of course, Daddy doesn't think they're necessary, anyway, and that not taking them has nothing to do with the recent blockage in his carotid artery. I disagree.)

Anyway, by the time I crawled into my own bed Friday evening, I had somehow been up for 36 hours, running on nervous energy and a few cups of coffee, my mind in a whirl, wondering and worrying about leaving Mama and Daddy there alone. 

It helped knowing my sweet sons were heading the opposite way in the morning, planning to spend the weekend with their grandparents. Tommy took my dad grocery shopping. (I had gone to the store several times, but only bought them healthy stuff, considering Daddy's diabetic and all. I didn't ask what they bought this time.)

And what a relief when my friend Rae called letting me know she had picked up Whataburgers for the whole crew Saturday evening, and again on Sunday, when another longtime friend Debbie and her mom dropped in on them with KFC. Debbie just lives around the corner from my parents and has urged them to call if they need anything at all.

My sister Brenda and her husband will also pick up groceries and run other errands as needed, and Brenda is working on filling out the Veteran's Administration Compensation forms. Plus home health care started today with a visit from a nurse.

Mama and Daddy's neighbors Hector and Estella have also stressed to call them or knock on their door if they need anything at all, and they've been dropping food off for my parents for years now.

Sigh. Such a relief!

It's still tough being so far away. We've tried for years to get them to move closer, and have now started trying to persuade them to move in with us, but no luck, and I don't anticipate them changing their minds.

So knowing all of these wonderful people are close, holding hands around them, ready to catch them if they fall...well, there are really no words to express how much that means to me and the peace of mind it gives. 

It's beyond sweet!, that's for sure.

Best friends are those who make your problems their problems so you don't have to go through them alone.

~ unknown 

I hope I'm that kind of friend.

And now for a few sweet!s from the past week... 

 

Sunday: the full moon keeping you company on an evening drive to Houston; seeing your Daddy back home after a major surgery; your son letting you know he made it home safely, too; an email asking to share your photos of a Futuro Home

Monday: making progress on editing the photos from your latest photo shoot; plumbing fixes that are easy and inexpensive; taking care of things for your parents; a late afternoon walk around your old block

Tuesday: word from your relatives and friends on the east coast that they made it through Hurricane Sandy relatively okay; more progress on photo editing; sweet neighbors; hearing that your dad doesn't need cataract surgery yet

Wednesday: happy photography customers; running for the first time in two weeks; knowing exactly what to get your mom for an early birthday present; trick-or-treaters; a call from your son

Thursday: the smiling faces of friends dropping by to see you and your parents; finally getting your dad to follow his morning medication regimen; home health nurses; online bill paying from anywhere; watching Ellen with your mom; hearing your parents kiss goodnight 

Friday: angels who protect and cushion your mom when she falls so she isn't seriously injured; being there for your parents in an emergency; "character" patients you can listen to when you have to spend the night in the Emergency Room; staying wide awake for 36 hours so you can finish up tasks for your parents and still safely drive home, despite huge traffic jams; the autumn sun setting in the Texas Hill Country

Saturday: time for a walk with your husband and puppies before heading to work; friends who voluntarily drop in and bring food to your parents; sons who want to spend the weekend with their grandparents

Sunday: worshiping with your husband; working within view of a vineyard in the Texas Hill Country on an autumn day

Monday: sleeping in; a long morning walk with your puppies and your camera; finding one Mexican hat blooming near your pond, reluctant to let go of summer; a haircut and color by awesome Michael

 

 

Hope your coming week is full of sweet! moments!

P.S. Tom's youngest brother John has spent the last 2 days in Intensive Care with asthma. According to the last report, he was off the ventilator and able to breathe again, and on the verge of leaving ICU for a regular room.

Great news! But please keep him in your prayers. Besides being a great brother and brother-in-law, husband, dad to four, and godfather to TG, he's an awesome Phoenix policeman. Click HERE to see how he coaxed a confession from a murderer several years ago.

P.S.S. In case I don't get a chance to post this tomorrow...GO VOTE!

 

A Morning Off

Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers, why not gather your own bouquet?

~ unknown

 

 

For the first time in almost a week, I went for a walk with my puppies this morning. I had a chance to work at the elementary school, but I turned it down, and I've only felt the slightest twinge of guilt about it.

The problem with juggling mutliple part-time jobs is never having any paid time off. Ergo, you feel guilty for taking a day off.

But I needed a day to breathe. To stop and consider and catch-up and regroup and indulge and tackle big chunks of projects. I needed a day at home, after days away, and days ahead already spoken for.

I discovered that flowers are blossoming everywhere, like it's a second spring. Purple and yellow explode along the roadside and spread into the woods. I think this happens every autumn, but for some reason it always catches me by surprise - but such a wondrous surprise! They kept my camera busy.

Belle and Max were overjoyed that I was walking with them. What a great way to start the day, having someone be overjoyed to spend time with you.

Then, for the first time in weeks - maybe months - I played my drums after our walk. I vowed again, as usual, to play a little bit every day from now on.

But even as I said it, I knew it was an empty vow. When you're trying to work as much as possible to help pay bills, plus trying to get a business started and write a book and take care of your family and every weekend you're not working there is something exciting going on out of town like high school reunions... well, playing the drums gets pushed way down on the list. But it was still fun today.

Next, I ran on the treadmill. As with the morning walks, it had been almost a week since I'd worked out, so I went easy on myself. I ran three miles, but let myself jog at a slower pace.

(It's funny. Lately I've dreaded my workouts, chafing at the time it takes, thinking of a million other things I need to do instead, like a kid making excuses to get out of doing her homework. But this morning, after not being able to work out for so long, I savored the opportunity. Weird, huh?)

I spent the afternoon focused on my budding photography business, specifically, working toward a website.  I purchased the domain and tomorrow, budget drained, I'm going to teach myself CSS and whatever else I need to know to build and design it. 

A lot of work, perhaps, but I'm just adding flowers to my bouquet. They come in all different shapes and sizes and colors.

I hope you continue to add to yours.

 

 

 

 

 

P.S. Thanks to everyone who nagged me to send those photos to Marilyn. I'm happy to report I did it! And if you're interested, I posted the photos on "For Marilyn, at long last" on my photography blog.

 

Linked to 

 

Till We Meet Again, Port A!

I just returned from my annual retreat with girlfriends to the coast - our 13th or 14th now, I can't remember which - where the sight and sound of the ocean renews my soul and invigorates my spirit.

The bonding of girlfriends... the food... the kiss of the sun on my skin... the birds and people and dogs posing for my camera... the dancing... sigh. They're all part of the prescription, too. Too many sweet! moments to count!

 

“The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears, or the sea.” ~Isak Dinesen

 

 One in particular was wishing my longtime friend Patti a happy birthday in person while standing on a balcony that looks out to a blue-green horizon of sea meeting sky... now that was particularly sweet!

 

I've known her since 4th grade, so we have a long history of birthday slumber parties. Who would have thought they'd continue into our fifties? Life is so surprising and beautiful! (Click HERE to read a birthday tribute I wrote her in honor of her fiftieth birthday.)

I fully intended to publish a "Reunion, Part 2" post last week before heading off on a this road trip, but ran out of time. So I just waved goodbye to that intention, as well as its numerous brothers and sisters. There are times you just have to do that. I knew they'd wait for me.

They did, and now they're breathing down my neck. But before I give them my attention, here are a few more sweet! moments from the past week. 

 

Sunday: breakfast with classmates; a quick visit with your Mama and Daddy before heading home after a fun weekend; being able to check Facebook and email on your way home because your husband is driving; your son grilling pork chops for dinner; sorting through photos from your high school reunion

Monday: eight hours of (mostly) uninterrupted sleep; second graders; dads who eat lunch with their kids and then play freeze tag with them at recess

Tuesday: reading "Love You Forever" to second-graders, even though it makes you cry, as usual; getting a brand-new computer printer for free; being approached about one of your photos being used in a brochure for a nonprofit organization that helps animals

Wednesday: discovering new purple wildflowers growing along the road; a day at home to catch up on email, work on your book, critique your writing group's submissions, and scratch other to-do's off of your list

Thursday: road trips with girlfriends; your zoom lens working long enough to capture some close-up bird photos; moonlight on the water

 

“The waves of the sea help me get back to me.” ~Jill Davis

Friday: waking to the sound of the surf; walking and running on the beach with a friend; spending a day on the beach with friends and your camera; discovering you can still do a cartwheel; grilled shrimp and huge onion rings; dancing at Sharkey's until closing time

 

(Conni gets credit for this photo, and all with me in them, I think, unless she's with me. I'm the one in blue...not bad for an old lady, huh? The other two are twenty-somethings. Thank you, Ms. H, my 6th grade gymnastics teacher, for making us practice, practice, practice!)

 

Saturday: relaxing on the beach with friends for the second day in a row; strangers pointing out things you should photograph, like dogs lying on lounge chairs;  the rain holding off until you're ready to come inside; watching UT-Austin win a tight game while listening to the running commentary of your very vocal, passionate friends; full-moon-light kissing the waves and a lightning show flashing in the background; staying up late watching Saturday Night Live with one of your longtime friends

Sunday: a solitary walk on a near-empty beach in the pale light of dawn; a chance meeting of someone you first met the year before on the beach; being able to wish your dear friend happy birthday in person; a stop in Swinny Switch, Texas; fresh, warm tortillas and grilled veggies at the Alamo Cafe; your husband's face after four days away from home

 

 

Monday: explosions of tiny yellow, white, and purple wildflowers along your dirt road; meeting a neighbor and her dog on your morning walk; having enough money to pay the bills

 

Hope you have a week full of sweet!s!

P.S. Happy birthday, Mary Kay!

 

Friends, sisters, mothers, daughters... blessed with each other's love and company.

"Age disappears when you're at the beach." ~ me

 

Kids, Dogs, and other sweet!s

I had plans for this day off: clean my filthy house before house guests arrive Saturday. I'll hardly have a free minute in the coming days.

But Tom threw his back out Saturday, which means it's now my job to move TG's bed and other heavy furniture to her apartment since he's out of commission.

My sweet boys are pitching in to help. They're both asleep right now, along with TG and a few extra kids. They kept me up later than I planned last night; consequently, I slept later than I planned this morning. But they were hours filled with laughter and hugs and soaking my eyes in the sight and sound of them.

I think, for any Empty-Nest mom, there's nothing sweeter! I know there's not for me! Plans will be re-arranged accordingly, happily, gratefully.

Now Belle's sitting outside the French doors wondering what's taking me so long to get started on our walk, but while I ate my cereal and drank my first cup of coffee in this now-silent house, I thought I'd hop on here and share this sweet! with you: having all three kids home at the same time... temporarily.

(Please say a prayer for Tom's back!)

 

This photo has nothing to do with the post... I just liked it. Flowers still blooming despite the drought!

And now for more sweet! moments from the past week... 

Monday: being available to help your daughter when she needs it; Waterloo Ice House tortilla soup and onion rings, especially when you're really hungry; a sister who's a great editor/proofreader; starting Season 3 of Breaking Bad

Tuesday: remembering the photos of your daughter's new apartment you were supposed to email to the managing agency the night before in time to send them before work; pink mornings; problems with easy solutions; help with problems with difficult solutions; a friend who hears a song, thinks of you, and calls just to let you know; a Craig's List sell 

Wednesday: hearing the chanting of the Rosary nearby as you work; learning something new, all on your own; discovering another potential source of income; good news on your sister's health; riding a horse with a full moon rising above you; honest-to-goodness horses kisses (on your arm :)

Thursday: the full moon staying up long enough to tell you good morning; working on your book, a blog, your jewelry business, starting laundry, walking the dogs, and working out before you leave for work; a call from your baby girl giving you an update on her second day of school before you have to call her; Chinese food and a Meryl Streep movie with dear friends

Friday: helping people; watching the sunset and the moonrise with your sweetheart on a hill overlooking the Texas Hill Country

Saturday: another Craig's List sell; watching UT Longhorn fans at a winning game; meeting up with 1/3 of your kids

Sunday: waiting on considerate, fun customers; German Shepherd puppies; reflecting on memories of your childhood when you get word your mom's friend has passed away; all of your kids, plus a few extras and your grandpuppy, under your roof at the same time

I hope you're having a sweet!-filled Labor Day weekend. Please share one or two of them from your week here!

 

 

Thursday?!! What happened to Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday?

When I woke up this morning, light splashed across the livingroom floor, a "good night!" from the full moon who quickly snuggled under the treeline, out of sight.

Then tonight moonlight bathed our metal roof, making it glow. I never get tired of seeing that. One day I'll figure out how to capture a photo of it. For now, you'll just have to imagine it yourselves (or come visit when there's a full moon!)

This has been such a fast week, with very little time at home. Consequently,  my email has piled up... the laundry has piled up...  the dishes have piled up. But I did manage to send a short chapter out to my writing group this morning before work and got started on the laundry.

Before you think I'm complaining, I'll confess that Tom and I are hooked on Breaking Bad (via Netflix) and have watched at least two episodes this week. I rode horses last night and went to dinner and the movies with friends tonight.

I could have said "no, I have work to do", but I figure email, laundry, and dishes will always be there, right? Not necessarily true about husbands, horses, and friends.

The writing, though... I really need to make time for that. Photos, too. I don't think I'll ever get the balance down, but I'll keep trying.

 

Monday I spent the day with TG, mostly getting her settled in a new apartment. It took us hours to complete the move-in checklist - the place was a wreck! Besides being just plain dirty, there were tons of broken things.

I took at least 50 photos and then showed them to the managing company when we turned in the check-list. They really try to take advantage of those students and it makes me mad. But the woman I spoke to seemed as upset as we were and within a couple of days they had taken care of a few of the problems.

While I was downtown, I stopped by the camera shop to have them take a look at my zoom lens, fingers crossed the focusing problem would be an easy fix.

No such luck. The focus mechanism gears appear to be broken, requiring a month-long stay at the factory and a potential chunk out of my checking account. A replacement lens is totally out of the question right now, though, so I'll just pray this vacation does the trick and we have several more years together.

*****************************************

 

Dear TV Meteorologists,
Please get inside out of the hurricane. It doesn't impress me to see you trying to stand up in the wind and battered by the rain. It just makes me question your intelligence. I really don't want to see you hit in the head and killed by debris, or swept away in a flood, and have to live with that memory. 
Thank you.

I posted that on Facebook yesterday in a fit of frustration after watching Al Roker and some other guy struggle in the wind and rain of Hurricane Isaac while telling us how the wind was so strong it knocked down a piece of concrete culvert.

Yikes! 

I've been trying to keep an eye on Hurricane Isaac, praying for family and friends in Louisiana, but geez, those silly weathermen make me want to just turn off the television. What about you?

(So far everyone I know seems to have come through with minimal damage, thank goodness.)

 

 

 

I've been up before dawn every day this week, walking the puppies in the pink light of a new day. Both of Max's hind legs drag a little now and he has the bony hips that come with old age.

But he still grins and teases Belle, making her blast off and run rings around us until she's spent. He's still a happy dog and doesn't appear to be in any pain. For that I'm grateful. 

 

 

 

 

Sweet Chaos

I'm home.

The past week has been a whirlwind of sand, sunshine, hugs, laughter, seashells, sunburns, storm clouds, card games, wet towels, buffet-style meals, birthday cake, aloe gel, clear water, ocean waves, camera clicks...

But now, I'm home, hitting the ground running last night as soon as we unloaded the car... unpacking, starting laundry, uploading 1000 photos to my computer...

Yes, that's right. I said 1000.

But when you consider I spent a week in Pensacola Beach, Florida, at a reunion with my husband's parents, seven of his eight brothers and most of their families (including one brother's in-laws) I think I showed remarkable restraint in limiting myself to 1000 photos, don't you?

But the chaos didn't end with vacation. I have 2/3 of my kids home again right now, plus an extra. They're all in that limbo between moving out of one apartment and having to wait a week or two before moving into the next one.

Consequently, there's a mini-fridge in my livingroom, as well as stacks of boxes, furniture, and bags full of stuff scattered all over the house.

And I love it.

(Temporarily, at least.)

More on all of the above later. Right now I'm ignoring the casualties, which include my favorite swimsuit coverup (rust-colored stains I haven't been able to remove) and 1/2 of my brain (a spiral notebook where I listed my to-do's and jotted down bits of thoughts)...

Instead, I'm focusing on the sweet!s from the past week..

 

Saturday: safely arriving at your destination; reunions with family; the ocean's lullaby; the play of flashlights on a beach at night

Sunday: standing-room only in an island church on a beautiful summer morning; playing 3-13; watching your kids learn cribbage from two old pros 

Monday: running in a beach town; reading on the beach with the sound of waves in your ears; a walk on the beach at night; the BEACH, period!

Tuesday: seeing a sand shark and a turtle swimming in the water (from shore!); hugs from loved ones you haven't seen in a long time and babies you're seeing for the first time; winning a Wii Dance Off

Wednesday: running barefoot through the surf; baby sunglasses and hats; hamming it up at the air museum with your daughter; seeing the new Batman movie with your sister-in-law and lots of kids; watching your grown kids play with their little cousins; watching dolphins jumping in the bay

Thursday: having all of your kids with you; pictures and texts letting you know your puppies are doing fine while you're away; a banquet room filled with family; moonlight splashing on the Gulf of Mexico in front of your condo; cousins playing card games together

Friday: taking a long walk with your sweetie on the beach, holding hands; watching fish jump out of the water; McGuire's Irish Pub and the Pensacola Beach Boardwalk with your son and future daughter-in-law; a storm that passes you by 

Saturday: a house and pool overflowing with family of all ages that you haven't seen in too many years... wishing a happy birthday to everyone... crossing language barriers...and too many sweet!moments to list!

Sunday: good weather for traveling; a scenic detour; Subway Sandwich Shops on every exit of I-10; arriving home, safe and sound, to two puppies wiggling and grinning and overflowing with happiness at the sight of you; finding the momma duck and her mostly-grown duckling still hanging out at the neighborhood pond; new purple and yellow wildflowers popping up along your country road

Monday: a house full of kids and their stuff; watching your old puppy act like a youngster; tackling tons of to-do's; a day spent running errands with your daughter

I hope you all had a week full of sweet!s and have already started on another one. But please take a minute to share a sweet! from your past week!

 

Dusk

I swayed on the porch swing, listening to Dave Matthews harmonize with crickets, cicadas, and two puppies breathing.

I leaned back, contemplating the contrast of shadowed leaves against a dusky blue sky, noting the one early star peaking out from the eaves on my outward swing.

No wind. No leaves rustling on the branches. No thunder or lightning or barking dogs.

My day's list wasn't yet completed, but I knew those moments on the porch, just being there, being still, breathing with the puppies, were as important as any to-do left on tomorrow's doorstep.

“Sometimes I feel like if you just watch things, just sit still and let the world exist in front of you-sometimes I swear that just for a second time freezes and the world pauses in its tilt. Just for a second. And if you somehow found a way to live in that second, then you would live forever.” 

~ Lauren Oliver, Delirium

 

 

The Art of Relaxation

One September about twelve years ago I made a phone call to a previously unknown-to-me condominium complex in Port Aransas, Texas, and reserved a three bedroom condo on the 5th floor.

I needed to escape.

Not a permanent escape, of course. Just a few days all to myself, where I didn't have to cook anything, clean anything, be anywhere at a certain time, make any phone calls, settle any arguments, attend any meetings...

I could just take care of myself and no one else.

And my body literally ached, mentally and physically, for the beach. For the lounging, the reading, the song of the surf and birds, the sun on my body.

A few margaritas sounded good, too.

So I rounded up some friends who needed a short escape just as much as I did (I couldn't afford that place by myself!) and we spent a glorious weekend on the coast.

Our condo overlooked the beach on one side and the bay on the other. I lucked out because some of the women relaxed by cooking and a few others by cleaning, so they got their dream weekend and I got mine!

(You can tell by the way I'm dressed... I'm the old lady in the middle... I really needed a Mommy break!)

I've gone back every fall except one, with mostly the same women, give or take ten or twenty. (It caught on, as you can imagine.) 

Days of unscheduled time at the beach with dear friends, a good book, my camera, and a cocktail or two. That's my answer to BlogHer's Life Well Lived "Get Happy" Question of the Week...

What are your favorite relaxation techniques?

And what benefits do you see from practicing them?

Oh, I forgot to mention the benefits...

They're too numerous to count, but they include sanity, serenity, deeper friendships...

...Just one big <sigh> that lasts almost a whole year. (Two trips a year would be perfect. Maybe three to play it safe.)

So now tell me, because I'm nosy, what are your favorite relaxation techniques and what benefits do you see from practicing them?

(After sharing, visit the main post on BlogHer (here) and don't forget to enter the current Life Well Lived Sweepstakes! (here))

 

Super Moon and other Sweet!s of the Week

I've already jumped onto the Weekend Express, but I'm taking advantage of a pit stop to post my Saturday Sweet! List from the past week before I get whisked into the next one...

 

Saturday: catching the Super Moon low on the horizon; waking to the sound of unexpected rain

(Not the best capture, but enough to trigger my memory of standing on my friend Nancy's back porch watching it rise in the sky over the pasture.) 

Sunday: Mass with dear friends in a beautiful historic church; sunlight streaming through stained glass windows; barbecue chicken plates benefiting a volunteer fire department; a quick visit with your son, future daughter-in-law, and grandpuppy; Gruene, Texas, even for just a quick stop

Monday: an omelette made with fresh veggies from a friend's garden; new tires on your car; spending time with your baby girl 

Tuesday: your husband bringing you flowers; finishing tasks that weighed on your mind

(from a yucca plant that was knocked over in the thunder storm)

Wednesday: soft raindrops on a morning walk; box turtles resting near a pond; sleeping dogs; friends responding to a prayer request; grilled cheese sandwiches a la Tom

Thursday: an unexpected paid work day (cha-ching!); second graders; Ocean Week in an elementary school; storm clouds making way for sunshine long enough to walk your puppies

Friday: gathering with friends and 1/3 of your kids for dinner, even if the band (and dancing) is rained out; sunsets and storm clouds over a lake; rainbows

 

Hope you all had a wonderful week and the next one is even better. And in case my Mother's Day post runs a few days late, Happy Mother's Day to all of you who have experienced the joy and heartbreak of motherhood, whether you ever gave birth or not.

Here's a flower for you...

(the onions are blooming!) 

Hello There

Has anyone even missed me?

For the past few days, I've been holed up in my office, focused in a way that's unusual for me, fueled with determination to finish editing photos from a shoot last month.

(I know! Shame on me for taking so long! I do have the relatively good excuse of getting my new computer, having to load software and learn how to do what I need to do, bit by bit. Still, shame on me...)

But I'm happy to report I finished the photos last night and mailed them off to my friend today. I also mailed a shoebox full of thank-you notes to friends who helped me get this dream computer that I'm staring at right now. I never, ever, ever could have gotten it without them, so the writing of those notes had also been hanging over my head, occasionally tapping me on the shoulder, and even sometimes tripping me when I walked by. 

I forgive them because I appreciate the reminders, but you can imagine how relieved I am to have them out of my house!

(Now I know my friends that they're addressed to aren't checking their mailboxes every day and tsk, tsk, tsking me on my lack of manners, or planning to de-Facebook-friend me because of it. But it's one of those things you feel inside, that you know you need to take care of and the longer you put it off the more it eats at you.)

So, whew! that's done.

During my outing to the post office, I also mailed a ring to a friend. This is a dear friend who lives a couple of hours away, who I just happened to visit this past weekend on the premise of her hosting a Silpada party for me.

This ring is the replacement to one she bought several years ago from a different Silpada representative. The stone had fallen out and I took care of the exchange for her. (Silpada has a lifetime guarantee.) 

I've been holding onto the replacement ring for a few weeks now. I mean, why mail it when I would be going to see her soon anyway, right?

It's weird...I remember the very moment this weekend when I realized I had forgotten to bring that ring. I was standing in her kitchen and it hit me hard, like a frying pan. Thank goodness Nancy was (sort of) forgiving and didn't hit me herself with a frying pan.

And hallelujah! that nagging feeling that I'd forgotten something went away...

Tom came along with me for the weekend and we had such a great time. Nancy and Paul are teachers who live out in the country, as in cows and chickens and kittens and sheep and tractors and gardens overflowing with cucumbers, squash, potatoes, peppers... overflowing enough that they loaded us up with fresh garden treasure... that now overflows bowls in my kitchen...

It had been a couple of years since our last visit to their house. Time always brings change, but this time the change was pretty obvious: an oil rig squatted in the pasture between Nancy's house and her in-laws'.

Oil is the new hot crop in those parts, especially after the drought of the past couple of years. Ranchers have had to sell cattle because they couldn't feed them. The oil boom is a huge blessing!

And that's why they forgive the rig its gawky incongruity with the surrounding countryside. In fact, Tom would really love to get one, too!

But I had looked forward to getting some more photos of Nancy's cows, and was disappointed that the rig had scared them off to some distant back forty. 

Thank goodness the Mama cat had had more kittens...

...and even though for some reason I felt too intimidated on this trip to snap any photos during Mass of their gorgeous, historic church, I did snap these afterward...

Nancy and I also went for a ride down the highway on a Kuboto RTV to meet members of their sheep herd (mostly to see the brand new babies) but I'm going to post those on my photography site, um, later. Hopefully tomorrow.

But there are still some of those items on my to-do list tapping me on my shoulder, so first and foremost, I'm going back into my shell to get them done before they start tripping me as I walk by. 

#1 on that list is "make progress on my book." 

Wish me luck!

Tenacity

Tomorrow will mark four days in a row I didn't have to report to one job or another. That's a record. When I say "job", I'm not talking about working on my book or photography, but at one of those hourly paying gigs that help feed our bank account.

When I envisioned these four wide open days, I saw myself up early, typing away at my book, filling dozens of pages even before heading out for my morning walk with the puppies. I would then edit some photos, write a blog post or two before lunch, followed by making a major dent on my to-do notebook (it's expanded way beyond a list.) I would still have time to work out, and take the pups and my camera on an afternoon walk to the pond. 

Well, of course, in real life it didn't work out that way. I had so many odds and ends to take care of that it felt like my days just kind of piddled away.

I did manage to  work on my book a couple of times, edit some photos, and publish a blog post, but there are some major to-do's I still haven't tackled.

There's always tomorrow...

I say that too often these days.

The thing is... and I hate to put words to the phantom thoughts drifting through my brain.. but I'm beginning to think it's impossible to be a writer, photographer, blogger, personal historian, mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, waiter, substitute teacher, and.... um, I think that's it.... all at the same time.

But that doesn't mean I'm giving up. 

On one of my recent walks, I noticed new grapevine twisting around an old limb. Clinging, climbing, intent on moving ever up and up. I was first struck by the bright red color, but its tenacity is what mesmerizes and inspires me now. Tom cleared out as much grapevine as he could this winter - it tends to choke the trees - but grapevine is one stubborn, headstrong plant.

 

I want to be like that.

Last Wednesday night I attended a photography workshop by Clay Blackmore, a professional portrait photographer about my age who started with film thirty years ago. He had to make the switch to digital - and to edgier, artsy photos - to stay on top of his business.

The guy next to me and I started talking. He also was about my age and had been a film photographer who only recently picked up a digital camera, trying to get back into photography and make some money from it. I can't remember now what he asked me, but in answering him, I mentioned that I was writing a book as well as doing some portrait and art photography.

That's when the woman sitting in front of us, also about our age, turned around. She asked me about my book and how I found my critique group. Seems she started writing a romance novel twenty years ago herself, but set it on a shelf somewhere along the way. It had been gnawing on her lately to dust it off and finish it, but she just hadn't done it yet.

When we said good night a little later, I told her "Get back on that book tomorrow!" And she promised she was going to. I believe she did.

I like to think I inspired her. But she also inspired me.

So tomorrow, I'll be working on my book. And my photos. And my blogs. And transcribing an interview, scanning some old photos...

Tomorrow has arms wide open, full of possibility, don't you know?

 

I hope you've had a great week that included at least a few minutes of doing something you've dreamed about, something that makes your imagination soar and your heart beat faster.

If not, there's still time. What are you waiting for?

"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out."

~ Robert J. Collier

 

Life

There are times in life when everything hits at once.

Your car has issues, your family has issues, your house has issues, your job has issues... 

Opportunities drop onto your path that will scurry away if you don't jump on them right this instant but you don't know how you can squeeze another minute out of your day. Bills need to be paid but you don't know how you're going to squeeze another penny out of your dollar.

That's when you need to step back and realize that even if you're not sure how you're going to deal with the issues or take advantage of the opportunities or pay the bills, things could be worse.

Having these problems means you have a car, you have a family, you have a house, you have a job. You have dreams and hope and faith.

Smile. Breathe. Laugh.

Even if there is nothing to laugh about, laugh on credit.

~ Unknown

 

Adding to my collection...

I started substitute teaching again.

Three years ago I started a (mostly) full-time job and, except for Voting Day and a couple of quick visits to talk about writing to students, I didn't step a foot into the schools during that time.

I missed it, and I'm so grateful the district accepted me as a sub again. Over the past few weeks I've reviewed color patterns... read Peter Rabbit aloud for the first time in more than a decade, as well as voiced a part in the last act of Othello...  watched a stage performance of "The Emperor's New Clothes"... enjoyed a documentary hosted by Peter Jennings about the 50's and early 60's (three times!)... learned about the dangers of drinking and drugs from Hollywood Henderson via VHS... and overheard some heartbreaking home life stories.

I'm not going to be the popular sub... at least not at the high school... because I don't care if the kids like me or not. I'm there to follow the teacher's directions, period. And, if possible, get the kids to learn something while they're under my watch.

After raising three kids and subbing for 15 years (plus one year on the payroll as the elementary school librarian) I'm on to all, or at least most, of the tricks. But I still have a soft heart and those kids can be really tricky. I'm sure they're going to pull one over one me every once in a while because they can also be interesting, considerate and funny.

I'm hoping to sub as much as I can until summer vacation starts. Unlike other jobs I've had in my life, this one gives me a good feeling, like I've actually done something positive with my time. It's also a great source of material for my children's book!

And, of course, the main reason I'm taking time away from my book for anything else is we need the money. I'm just grateful that I've been able to gather a flexible collection of jobs I enjoy:

1. Writer
2. Photographer (Art and Portrait)
3. Blogger
4. Book Reviewer
5. Substitute teacher
6. Winery Bistro waiter
7. Independent Silpada Representative
8. Substitute church secretary
9. Personal historian (although I haven't made much progress on this one!)

I feel like I've forgotten one or two...

Oh, well. It's hard to focus when this is what's going on around me...

So gorgeous! The world is exploding in color!

I pulled over to take this on my commute to #5 yesterday. And to sigh.

There was an art show going on around the estate, so during some down time, I grabbed my camera and walked around...

This was my favorite, by Shakti Sarkin. I didn't go home with it, though. The price? $1350. 

Made me wish I could add 'artist' to my list.

Here are a few other pieces that caught my eye...

I believe the art will hang around for a month. But we also have a new permanent addition to the Bistro. A pizza oven!

You can see Chef Sean is happy about it...

...but this is going to be sooooo detrimental to my waistline...

I love pizza.

I love my jobs.

If you miss me on Facebook or FlickR or in the comments section of your blog, now you know why! (Thanks for missing me, Patti!)

Catching My Breath (and other Sweet!s)

I haven't blogged in a whole week. I think that's a record. 

Snippets and ideas for posts have popped in my head - random words are scribbled on scraps of paper all over the house and in the car - but I haven't been able to stop long enough to work them into full posts.

This morning Life is moving slower and I'm hoping today I can focus my attention on those poor, neglected Good Intentions and Need-To-Do's I see moping in a dusty corner.

It's been a fun week, though. No exotic vacations or anything, but just Life and all of the challenges and adventures and love it provides. There have been beautiful spring days that turned into powerful thunderstorms with blustery winds and cold temperatures... which meant stinky country dogs cowering in the laundry room... but we're back to Spring and warmth and outside dogs now.

While I'm grateful for the rain, I'm not so grateful for the mosquitoes it awakened. They buzzed and bit me every step of my walk this morning. You can be sure I'll thoroughly douse myself with repellent every morning from now on.

Yesterday, TG fixed me breakfast... a delicious sauteed veggies/scrambled eggs concoction she prepared every morning over Christmas break that set my stomach growling with its divine smell. But it was always several hours after I'd already eaten.

I'm too lazy to go to that much trouble myself first thing in the morning, but yesterday I slept late after a sleep-deprived weekend and she woke up early to prepare for a Spring Break trip to the coast... which means we woke up at the same exact time! So when I saw the eggs and veggies coming out of the fridge, I worked out a deal with her involving laundry.

One of the best deals I've ever made! It turned out to be just as delicious as it smelled, and sustaining enough for a day on the run that included seeing her disappear into one of five chartered buses for an overnight drive (and praying the whole way home for their safety!)

Sunday morning I met a blog friend for the first time in person. Non-bloggers (or non-FlickRers, etc.) probably don't understand how exciting that is.  They might have trouble understanding how you can become friends with total strangers you connect to online but have never seen face-to-face, but I can assure you those friendships are just as real as any other. 

Wolf, of Just Add Father, was in town for a dad blogger conference. He delayed his flight home to meet me, Tom, and 2/3 of my kids for brunch downtown at the Driskill Hotel's 1886 Cafe and Bakery. It was just like meeting a long-time friend I hadn't seen in a while. 

Wolf is a pseudonym (he explains why he uses one on his blog) so we had some fun taking this photo below. I wanted one I could post here. (I'm sure the people sitting at nearby tables were wondering what the heck we were doing!) 

We chatted awhile on the sidewalk after eating, but knew it was time to part ways when my kids (ages 20 and 23!) got restless and started roughhousing on the sidewalk. 

Some things never change!

Actually, we needed to leave anyway because Wolf wanted to walk around and see the Austin sights before heading for the airport, and we wanted to get back to the house to visit with my oldest and his fiance before they had to leave.

They were in town for a wedding. After the reception on Saturday night, they brought friends back to the house with them and all of us were up really, really late visiting and laughing. I always enjoy seeing those grown-up kids, even though it makes me feel old, wondering how these kids who I swear were in middle school yesterday are now out of college, working, married...

Totally worth getting only 4 hours of sleep.

No, really it was.

<yawn>

Anyway, Sunday afternoon I grilled chicken and enjoyed a quick dinner with them, before dashing off (late!) to my writer's group meeting.

Even after all this time, my book is still a misshapen piece of clay. Writing is so dang hard. But with these women's input and guidance, it's beginning to take shape, although it still needs lots and lots of pinching, molding, scoring...

It's tough - even painful - but I'm grateful to them and willing to do whatever work is necessary to have a finished piece by the end of the year.  

Saturday I took a short road trip along Highway 281 to San Antonio. A friend of mine hosted a Silpada jewelry party for me.

Highway 281 runs through the Texas hill country and several small towns... a beautiful drive, even on a rainy day like Saturday. I spotted my first bluebonnets, splashes of blue drizzled along the roadside. I promised myself I'd drive out this week on a sunny day and take some photos.

Jewelry parties are always fun, what with the food and drinks, the sparkly silver bling, and meeting lots of interesting women, but this one was especially fun because Jackie and I went to high school together, but didn't really know each other until just recently. We reconnected thanks to Facebook and discovered we didn't live that far from each other.

Here we are with another high school friend, Marilyn, who came to the party. She lives even closer to Jackie but they didn't even realize it until recently.

And here I am with one of my dearest friends, Nancy, the first person I met when we moved to Lago. She now lives near San Antonio, so she and her daughter took advantage of the situation and came to the party, too. 

You just can't beat reconnecting with friends, playing with pretty jewelry, and making money at the same time, can you?

The rest of the week was a blur of writing, reading, subbing at the high school, trying to catch up on emails, and watching the Hollow explode in greens, blue, yellows, pinks, and purples. I'm hoping not to get lost in the busy-ness of this week.

I do want to mention Tuesday, though. I spent the day swim suit shopping with TG in preparation for this trip to the coast. There's always more under the surface than shopping, though... there's talking, laughing, sharing, and just soaking up the sight of her.

In one store, going through a clearance rack, I came across the perfect shirt to describe the way I feel...

We took turns trying it on and snapping pics with my iPhone, but in the end, I just went ahead and bought it. How could I not? It was cheap and fit perfectly, in so many ways!

And now for the official Sweet! report:

Monday: time to be still and breathe, sitting on a rock beside a pond, listening to running water and chattering birds, watching silly dogs and flirting dragonflies

Tuesday: hours spent with your daughter... shopping, talking, laughing; finding a really good fortune in your Panda Express cookie

Wednesday: porch swings; flowers and tree buds popping out everywhere

Thursday: finishing a great book; high school one-act plays

Friday: rainy days when a drought is fresh in your memory; some of your kids home for the weekend

Saturday: clouds sitting on hilltops; roadsides sprinkled with bluebonnets; a job that lets you catch up with 'old' friends and meet new ones; sangria; staying up late visiting with your kids and their friends, who used to be kids but somehow turned into adults; the birth of a great-nephew and photos on Facebook

Sunday: meeting a blog friend in person for the first time; brunch and people-watching at the Driskill Cafe; an afternoon with your son and future daughter-in-law; a writing group that keeps your ego in check

Monday: sleeping in after a sleep-deprived, busy, busy weekend; spending time with your baby girl 

Wishing each of you a week full of sweet moments!

Sunsets that Kiss the Sky, Silly Things That Make Me Cry, and other sweets of the week

I'm late with my sweet!s. It feels like a whole month was stuffed into last week...highs and lows, late nights and early mornings, and miles and miles on the road. I've only been home long enough to sleep the past few days. I haven't even gone on a morning walk with my puppies since Friday!

I had to ignore Max and Belle's puppy dog eyes once again this morning so I could make it to my allergy doctor appointment on time. Somehow I missed the past two yearly check-ups. But that just means I've been asthma-free! A very good thing after a lifetime of asthma, of doctor visits and pills and shots and too many trips to the emergency room to count.

But listen to this... based on high scores on my peak flow and lung function tests ("better than average!") I don't have to see him again for another year and a half. Now that's sweet!

Keeping track of the sweet moments in each day has become a habit, hallelujah! Some days I'm better at it than others, but overall I spot them much easier and more often than I ever did before. I know there aren't more sweet!s... I'm just keeping my eyes and heart more open to recognizing them when they grace my way.

I urge you to try, too, if you're not already. It puts a lightness in my heart I would never have imagined possible.

"Even in the midst of all this pain and sadness I see something beautiful."

~ Claire Bidwell Smith

Earlier this week I admitted to a friend that I don't cry as easily as I used to. It kind of worried me, in a way, but I thought perhaps it was because I'm better able to accept the bumps, roadblocks, detours that come in life.

But then the next day Lisleman (from A Few Clowns Short) sent me a short film - he said he knew I'd like it because I'm a writer.  That's pretty sweet! by itself. 

Well, I did like the film. In fact, I loved it! So much that by the last scene I was sobbing! Happy, sad, bittersweet tears, all at the same time. It is one of the most creative, best made, sweetest films I've ever seen. I also realize I'm kind of a book addict, and that probably has a lot to do with why I love it, but I truly think it would bring at least a smile to everyone's face.

Here's the link: The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Lessmore 

If you watch it and love it, please let me know. If you don't love it, well, okay, go ahead and let me know that, too. I promise I won't hold it against you. 

Well, I promise I'll try not to hold it against you.

(P.S. Lisleman just let me know it won an Oscar last night for Best Animated Short Film. Yay!)

Friday night I attended Stations of the Cross, something I try to do at least once during Lent... step out of my busy life and really reflect on Christ's sacrifice, his Passion, the last moments of his life on earth, on the fourteen significant moments between his condemnation to his placement in the tomb. I try to consider how I can apply them to my own life. 

This year the Stations in our church were done a little differently than in past years. While our priest moved from station to station, Aaron Neville crooned "Were You There?" in between the readings. He wasn't actually in our church (I wish!) but our priest played a recording narrated by Father Jeff Bayhi with Aaron's sweet voice singing in between.

I enjoyed it so much, I searched and found this little 3-minute clip to share with you. Just one of the fourteen stations. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. 

 

 And now for a few more of my Sweet!s from the past week...

Monday: the sound of a running creek at the bend in the road; a tip on a writing gig from a friend; an afternoon hunting fossils with your husband

Tuesday: ponds filling with water; arriving in Houston just ahead of highway-clogging traffic; laughter blending with tears

 

Wednesday: supporting your friends and loved ones in times of heartbreak and grief; treasured time with your parents, sister, and cousins; talking to a rooster and a chicken in a parking lot; warm days that turn into soft evenings; reminders to not waste a single moment of your life 

Thursday: prayers answered in the way you were hoping for;  your blog chosen as one of five finalists in About.com's Favorite Friendship Blog contest; your friends voting for your blog; witnessing a sunset that kissed the entire sky

 Friday: eavesdropping on a conversation between the wind and the treetops; a "Happy Friday" email from your son; time for reflection and Aaron Neville singing "Were You There?"; movie night at home with your sweetie

Saturday: dinner and board games with friends; Siamese cats; making it home safe and sound when your car is dripping oil; a friend who wants a text letting her know you made it home safe and sound

 

 

Sunday: vineyards in winter; your husband fixing your car, bringing it out to you at work (and driving his back home); the smell of warm foccacia bread; red chili chocolate cake, especially when you're starving; the support you get from a writing critique group

What were some of your sweet! moments this past week? Please share! (If you wrote a post, you can share the link in the comments.)

Hope this week is full of sweet moments for you!

A Message From Myself Out of the Past

Epiphany (-nies)

Knotted muscle in my neck...can't quite catch my breath...geez, it's only Jan. 4 and I'm already stressing about how to get everything accomplished that I want to do this year! I wish I could resolve to have an extra six hours each day - that would help! Twenty-four doesn't seem to be nearly enough.

But, of course, I can't. None of us can. We just have to stumble along and do the best we can and try not to worry about the minutes we drop along the way. Just keep facing forward, or, as this Japanese proverb reminds us...

 "If you look up, there are no limits."

For me, this means that God will give me the time, strength and whatever other resources I need (money, patience, determination, health...) to do what he needs me to do. And nothing else really matters.

That's so much easier to say than to accept, though.

This morning I rose at 5am...the first time in more than a week I've been up before the sun. Even though I hate that first jolt of the alarm clock and long to jump back under the covers just a little while longer, I love getting so much done before the sun rises. I love walking the critters under a fresh morning sky, watching the world wake up. I feel invigorated...hopeful...ready to embrace the day. I wish morning could last all day!

It helped that we celebrated the Epiphany at Mass yesterday - the visit of the Magi to the baby Jesus. The theme...the key word to remember...the word and image I took away from the service was LIGHT.

Light as in guidance...the star that led them to Jesus; light as in understanding...they recognized Jesus was a king, the son of God; light as in revelation...they revealed to us that Jesus came for all people, all nations, all races.

So each day I will focus on that light. His light. I'll imagine it as the fresh morning light, stretching over the world as the sun rises. I'll pray that it shines outward, leading me along the right path and helping me have greater understanding and compassion...I'll pray that it shines inward upon myself, revealing my faults...those areas that I most need to work on. I'll pray that I have his light within me and that others can see it. And then I'll take a deep breath and try not to worry about anything more.

A massage sure sounds nice right now, though...

"If you look up, there are no limits."

 

 

Glancing through January posts from the past few years, I came across the one above. It was just what I needed to hear.

Ironic that it came from myself, isn't it?

I decided to repost it and not just because yesterday was Epiphany...

...Perhaps it's just what someone else needs to hear right now, too.

Looking Back, Looking Forward

"A writer is somebody for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people."

~ Thomas Mann

If that's so, then I'm definitely a writer. There are times when writing isn't just difficult for me - it's pure hell.

But other times it's heaven, and that's why I stand here in January of 2012, once again repeating the mantra from past New Year's resolutions: finish my book... finish my book... finish my book...

In terms of writing, my 2011 looked a lot - too much - like 2010, 2009, 2008...

It's time to review what I've learned over my two decades or so of writing. I need to figure out what helps, and do more of that, while clearing the hurdles that are keeping me from the finish line.

Let's see... I've learned I need big chunks of time for writing. My writing can't thrive and grow on the handfuls of stolen minutes I've been feeding it for years.

I've learned multitasking is my enemy. I have to close all those extra windows on my computer that tempt me... Facebook being the main culprit, but email and even research sites can be time-sucking tempters.

Other things I've learned: I compare myself to others too often; I need the challenge, support and feedback of a writer's group; I have a problem with finishing what I start... and starting too many things.

On the 'up' side, I'm much better at saying 'no'. Housework, bills, laundry, cooking... I can easily shove the thought of them into a closet and forget they exist. Wearing earplugs helps me do the same with any nearby conversations or television noise. (I work at a desktop in the open livingroom.)

My biggest challenge for 2012? Finding a balance and setting priorities between all of my different interests/callings/projects... writing my book(s), blogging, photography, and my seed of a personal history/photography business... while not neglecting my family, friends and health.

Pretty much the same challenge I faced last year. And the year before. And the year before.

I hope that by next January, I can adopt a new mantra. At least for a different book.

'F' Words for 2012

In 2011, my thoughts ran wild like mustangs, my energy scattered into all different directions trying to chase them down.

True, creativity needs space and the freedom to run wild for a bit, to stretch its legs and grow strong... but if those thoughts scatter too far in too many directions... if they never return to the corral, never get reined in, never learn to work as a team... well, they're not good for anything but looking or sounding pretty.

I need more than that this year. 

{Prepare yourself... here come my 'F' words...}

In 2012, I'm going to put up Fences to structure my time... I'm going to corral those thoughts and Focus on one project at a time so I can experience Finishing something. 

I bet that's an amazing feeling.

My other 'F' words for 2012... Faith, Fitness, Friendship, Frugality and Financial Freedom. 

Oh, and Forgiveness... another awesome 'F' word...

"Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you." ~ Ephesians 4:31-32 

What about you? 

 Do you have a Theme,Word or Resolution for 2012? 

 

 

Gifts

O Sunrise, 
splendor of light eternal and sun of righteousness:
Come and enlighten those who dwell in darkness 
and the shadow of death.

This sunrise was a gift, a splash of tangerine through my window reminding me that light conquers darkness, that each new day is a promise fulfilled, a gift to savor.

I rose at 4:30 this morning to write... a gift to myself but also to my family who has handed me the gift of flexible time and relative freedom to work on my creative pursuits, despite the echo of an empty bank account that goes with them. 

I owe it to them to face the empty pages head-on, to pull the right words out of my dreamy head and arrange them on the page the best I can, instead of just chasing them around in that dreamland of my imagination.

And I owe it to myself, because this isn't a pretty knick-knack you place on a shelf and admire, but the kind of gift you try to use up, the kind that won't last forever.

It's a gift I've wished for for so long that I've been hesitant to open it, as if I feared the beautiful thing inside wouldn't fit me.

I've wasted time fiddling with the ribbons, but not any more. This week I'm ripping into it, no longer worried about whether it will fit, but determined to make it my own.

I'm adding structure to my dreamland. No more vague boundaries between projects... I'm keeping track of my time, submerging myself in one venture at a time as much as possible, finding a balance between creative and business. 

No more multi-tasking, but pure focus on whatever I'm working on.

I've stepped back into my children's book; it's the closest to being finished and it just makes more sense to dress it up, slick back its cowlick,  and ship it off to a potential agent or two... and then get back to my historical fiction, where the research has become a bog, slowing my progress.

Besides... I missed my characters (Winston, Eddie, Reed and Nate) and felt guilty that I just left them hanging, poor kids. I could hear them calling my name every once in awhile, but like a busy mother told them, Not now. Go play.

I think they've forgiven me for neglecting them. They were a little stingy with the story yesterday, but today seemed to forget they were mad.... we had a pretty exciting morning!

I haven't forgotten my personal history business, but it's like a model plane I began building but had to set aside, without its wings.

This afternoon I spent a few hours transcribing those interviews with my parents from the summer. I love listening to their voices, hearing stories I've never heard, imagining them in their other lives, those aside from being Mama and Daddy.

It takes time, but to me, it's worth it. Their stories are a treasured gift to myself. I need to get this plane off the ground and help others discover the same treasure... the treasure of family stories. So a block of my day, or at least my week, is devoted to it, too.

I'm able to do all of this during the week before Christmas because TG and Daniel helped me decorate the house and tree. My cards are ordered - they'll go out after Christmas, but that's okay - the Christmas season runs into January. The Epiphany.

We have a "no-bought-gift" policy this year, so no frantic last minute shopping for me. The next couple of nights will find me baking cookies, editing and scanning and uploading photos... those are my gifts this year, gifts of my time and cooking and photography, but not I'm stressing or keeping tabs about what doesn't get done.

Why didn't we do this earlier? Somewhere along the way I feel we lost the point of our celebration... the birth of Jesus. 

On the phone with my oldest earlier this week, discussing our Christmas plans, I asked how he felt about not exchanging gifts this year. That triggered a near-rant that made my mother's heart soar, about the over-commercialization of Christmas and extreme emphasis on bought gifts. 

"I think Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday now... it's all about family and just hanging out with each other. I think that's how Christmas should be, too," he told me.

This isn't a drastic change in attitude for him - even when he was small he didn't ask for much, and when he was older, he scolded me for buying him things he didn't need.

The other two are the same way. I have no idea where their pragmatic, frugal outlook came from - I was a zealous 'gotta have lots under the tree' kind of mom for years and Tom's not much better - but I'm very grateful for their attitude now. Perhaps they just rubbed off on me. 

Those three are my best gifts ever.

Another gift... Tom's Pop is out of the hospital. Still no definite answers till test results arrive next week, though, so we appreciate your continued prayers!

 

 

 

Ssssh! Don't Tell my Mom! (plus the Shutterfly winners)

Life has gotten crazy busy.

My oldest son and his girlfriend are heading here this evening, joined by a few of his 'old' college buddies who are driving in from Dallas. Tomorrow is his birthday and he's letting me celebrate it with him for the first time in years and years... well, since he left home for college. It will be a late night celebration, and simple. Just pizza and ice cream cake. But it will warm my heart getting to see him (briefly) on his actual birthday tomorrow.

However, come to think of it, it might only be his sleeping 26-year-old face I get to see; I have to leave for work relatively early and they'll probably stay up late tonight, which means they'll sleep in before heading out for another celebration downtown tomorrow night.

But I'll take what I can get and be grateful!

So... today I'm cleaning house. Not just a room here or there, but the whole dang thing, top to bottom. As soon as I finish with my writing duties, I'm going to put something energetic and old (like me) on the stereo... something like KC and the Sunshine Band or James Brown or Elvis... and become a dancing, singing, cleaning, whirling dervish.

I'm hoping to finish in time to drop in on a Christmas Bunco party tonight and visit with women I never get to see anymore before running back home to greet my oldest baby. Then there's work at the Bistro, a college graduation and more Christmas parties on this week's calendar, plus decorations and cards and photo editing and writing assignments hovering over my head. 

Which means something's gotta give, and as usual, it's sleep... enough that those little dark circles are appearing under my eyes.  I've also missed a couple of workouts this week because of extra jobs that popped up, blessings I can't turn down.

But please don't tell my mom - she'll worry. And don't tell my kids - I'm always nagging them to make sure they get enough sleep. Oh, they'd love to throw this back on me!

One thing I'm not cutting out - not yet, anyway - is my morning walk. Before it was even light this morning, Belle appeared at the window next to my computer, begging to get started. Max stood a few steps behind her... a black patch on the dark porch... and that was unusual; he usually lets her do the begging alone, happy to relax in his bed on the front porch until I step out the door.

I could hear the rain hitting the roof. I guess they were as relieved and excited by the steady, light rain as I was... and I was glad they were eager for a walk. Cool, rainy days are the most beautiful when you're out in them, wrapped in a warm jacket and protected from total drenching by an umbrella. Colors deepen - greens, browns, golds, rusts - and everything glistens, bedazzled in crystal drops. 

No photographs. It was too wet to risk my camera. Belle's begging at the window again now, though, and the rain has stopped. Perhaps I'll wander out with my camera before I get busy cleaning and capture some of the rain bling...

But then... that's why my house is so dirty. All those, "But first..."s.

Ah, well. I'll just go ahead and share a couple I took the last time it rained and get busy cleaning...

And now, I won't drag it out any longer. Here are the winners of the Shutterfly card giveaway... 

Congratulations to Hilary at The Smitten Image, Gail at Louisiana Belle and Walker at A Woman's Page! I'll send you each the codes for your free 25 cards!

I wish everyone who entered could have won. I really hate leaving people out and I loved hearing all of your sweet! moments. Thanks for sharing them!

 

Summer, a fading memory

A splash of light from my iPhone guided me through the dark to my car last night. The wedding guests were long gone and only one light glowed in the winery Bistro behind me. 

Pausing in a clearing, I gazed up at the stars crowded around a sliver of moon. My frosty breath rose to greet them, along with a regret of never learning the constellations beyond the Big and Little Dippers. 

Frost coated the windshield of my car, although it wasn't even midnight. I dug my community college ID from my purse - it's good for scraping ice but not much else these days - and wished I had my gloves.

My headlights cut through the darkness on the winding road leading home through the hills. I seemed to be the only person out driving. Tom had left the porch lights on for me, a welcome sight, and Belle greeted me near the road, but inside, the house was silent; everyone was already snug in bed.

I turned off the lights and snuggled under the covers myself, not even thinking one thought about my poor plants, the aloe and bougainvillea I'd faithfully watered all summer, trying to help them survive the drought.

This morning I feared I'd find nothing but wilted, frozen leaves, but the aloe was still fresh and green, and fuchsia blossoms still dotted the bougainvillea. The rock wall where they're nestled must have retained enough afternoon sunshine to protect them through the cold night.

Max, on the other hand... that poor puppy can barely stand on his dysplasia-cursed elbow. I guess the cold gets to him like it gets to the rest of us feeling our age in our joints.

He was determined to join me and Belle on our morning walk, though. His face fell when I suggested he 'stay', so I said come on, then. He hopped along mostly on three legs, but his face shone, he was so eager and happy to hit the road.

Belle and I walked slow, following his pace for the most part. A few times he found a soft spot in the woods where he'd lie down and rest.

His appetite was down again this morning, too - I hand fed him a few pieces where I'd hidden his aspirin and he readily took it from my hand, as well as his glucosamine supplements, but otherwise had no interest. Belle seems to be on a sympathy hunger strike - her bowl is untouched and I refuse to hand feed her!

So the bowls are back on the kitchen counter. I'll try again later... maybe with a few pieces of cheese or some other goody in there. No more hand feeding, but I have no qualms against bribery.

Meanwhile, here it is a cold but sunshine-filled Monday and the week ahead is going to fly by, faster than usual, I believe. I'm going to be wearing a dozen different hats, trying hard to give each a fair share of my time without stressing over any of them too much, or spending hours hatless from indecision about which to wear next.

I'm grateful for each one and that's what I'm going to (try to) keep in mind. 

I hope all of you have a beautiful, busy, fulfilling, love-filled and peaceful week!

(And if you have a minute, please say a little prayer for my Max. Thank you!)

 

"The Best Laid Schemes..." (What happened to Monday and Tuesday?)

According to my calendar, I'm in Galveston right now, visiting my friend Ann, finally getting to see the cute little Victorian house she's fixing up and browsing through some wonderful eclectic shops.

Things don't always go according to plan, though, do they?

Instead of strolling the tourist-free beaches and staying up late talking and laughing with my dear friend, I've spent the past two days glued to this old computer, spending hours and hours on projects that should have only taken half the time.

(I'm beginning to wonder if shoveling coal into it might make it go any faster. I don't think it could hurt!)

Ann's free days evaporated, too, anyway, complicated by family schedules. We're going to try again in the next month or two. Why are our lives still so complicated?

I'm grateful for the work that's keeping me glued to the computer, though. One is a photo shoot from a couple of weeks ago that forced me to learn Lightoom. I'm by no means an expert, but I've learned so much, thanks to tutorials and photography friends (thank you, Beth!) and learning something new is so much fun! (And frustrating. And agonizing.)

Unfortunately, one thing I've learned is that my E: drive on my computer has gone kaputz. Nothing like a few hurdles in your path to keep you on your toes, right?

The second project was a review for BlogHer with a quick turnaround, as in, I learned about it yesterday and the deadline was this morning. And I (pretty much) turned it in on time. Ahem.

It wasn't a typical product review... more of a personal essay on health and aging and menopause, so I was happy I was chosen for the project.

I can't believe it's already Wednesday, though. Here are a few highlights from the past few days...

 

My mother turned 80! Middle-son Daniel went with me for the celebration at my parents' house. I enjoy road trips with Daniel - he helps me find good radio stations and doesn't mind me singing along loudly, even when I don't really know the words. 

It was a quick visit with family, highlighted by fried Gulf shrimp, birthday cake, breakfast by Daddy, plenty of coffee, Mexican food, and my mother in a birthday sombrero... 

...which matches this one of my dad from last month...

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Oldest-son Tommy ran his first full marathon! If you knew all the nights I stayed up with him while he struggled to breathe with his asthma, you'd really understand how very proud I am! And how relieved I was that he crossed that line, safe and sound and breathing!

This photo was snapped by his sweetheart, Kirby. She completed her second half-marathon that day. 

Yay, Tommy and Kirby!

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I won a blog drawing!! This cute cup featuring a 'doodle' by Cyndee at Eloise's Collage arrived in my mailbox Friday. I love it! Thank you, Cyndee! 

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Remember the Thanksgiving Comes First campaign? Thanks to Suldog, I found out about a petition to "Tell Target to Save Thanksgiving". If you want to add your name, click HERE.

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It rained yesterday! I mean, really and truly rained!

Well, not enough to capture a photo of the actual rain, but I did get one this morning of a dew-covered wildflower...

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Last but not least, Hilary at the Smitten Image awarded me a Post of the Week for As if I were beside you... Thank you, Hilary!

(Click the icon below to go read the other POTW and see her wonderful photography.)

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I hope you're having a wonderful week, even if your plans went agley like mine!

(At least I wasn't left with "nought but grief an' pain"...)

 

...The best-laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft agley,
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
For promis'd joy!

~from To a Mouse by Robert Burnes

On November (and my Sweet! Report)

Today is the fifth of November. How can that be?

Does anyone else feel the swoosh of time flying by?  If I'm not careful, with just a blink it will be December Eve.

November is full of writing challenges - novel writing, nonfiction writing, blogging...

Why? Who decided this was a month to focus on writing? A month dotted with important holidays in between two other big holiday months... a month of beautiful weather that begs you to drop your pen or leave your keyboard to come outside and soak it up (at least here in Austin.)

I won't be joining any challenges. Well, okay, maybe the blogging one because blogging is therapy... plus there are prizes, and I love prizes. I'll spend a few hours a week on my book, but I won't log the hours or daily words anywhere. The encouragement from other writers would be great, but right now, that's just extra time spent away from writing.

And every minute is gold right now. Yesterday morning, like a curious puppy on a leash, my brain dashed forward through the days of this month and all of the exciting events - visiting friends, celebrating my mother's 80th birthday, Thanksgiving - then I remembered the everyday demands, like editing photos from my first-ever paid photo shoot, writing, transcribing... laundry, groceries, bill-paying... morning walks, dog duties, working out...

How am I going to fit it all in?

Right away, I pushed the retract button on the leash, reeled in that frisky puppy-thought and made up my mind to keep it on a tight leash, allowing myself to stand in just one square of this month at a time as much as possible. I want to appreciate each day, accomplish what I can and not stress about the rest. (Why am I always having to remind myself of this?)

Already this month I waved my son off on his first post-graduation job, attended Mass in honor of All Saints Day, and said extra prayers for the souls of my friends and family who have passed on in honor of All Soul's Day. I came across these quotes and started writing a post including them, but ran out of time.

But they're great, so I'll still share them with you...

God creates out of nothing. … but He does what is still more wonderful: He makes saints out of sinners.~ Søren Kierkegaard

Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.~ Oscar Wilde

 

I've also survived my first paid photo shoot gig (from what I've seen of the photos, I think it was a success!) and helped ease a friend into a new decade of life with a surprise celebration of his 60th birthday. 

(As promised, Dan!)

And at the moment this post is published, Tom and I will be off visiting dear friends.

{Last night (Friday) we enjoyed (I'm sure!) listening to their son's band play, and today (Saturday) we're either off exploring garage sales and flea markets or, if we're too tired from last night, we're just hanging out on the back porch. Either way, we're having fun!}

It's only the fifth of November, but the rest of the month promises to be just as packed. I'm determined to savor each day, slowly and deliciously, as if it came from a box of assorted rich chocolates. 

Because these days of our lives are precious, aren't they?

And now on to the rest of my sweet moments from this past week... Hope your week was filled with them, too!

Saturday: a surprise visit from a friend at the Bistro; winning a coin toss; autumn days in a vineyard; home from work early enough to watch a movie with your sweetie

Sunday: catching up with a dear friend after church; sharing a yummy cheesesteak sandwich with the one you love; five minutes with, and a hug from, your oldest, on his way from Dallas to San Antonio; cleaning house while listening to The Best of U2, 1990 to 2000 and the Beatles #1 hits 

Monday: Haley, the neighbor puppy who was hit by a truck just a few weeks ago, joining you and your puppies for your morning walk; making a little headway on learning Photoshop Elements

Tuesday: seeing your son off on his first day of a new job; support and advice from photographer friends; almost forgetting, but then arriving early for All Saint's Day Mass

Wednesday: cotton candy clouds; meeting Fancy, a leggy Doberman puppy; surviving your first ever 'real' photo shoot; a call from your sister; a now-routine weekly lunch with wonderful friends; helping a friend celebrate his 60th birthday (and spending time with friends you never get to see anymore) 

Thursday: seeing your "baby" girl; homemade chili on a chilly night; laughing with your son at the Modern Family episode you missed via Hulu

Friday: joining other bloggers worldwide for the Blog Blast for Peace; Belle peering in at the window beside you, in hopes you'll come out and visit; taking a break from the computer and visiting with your wiggly, joyful, full-of-kisses puppy; finding out you won a blog drawing for a cup with a friend's beautiful original artwork on it!

Hope you're having a wonderful weekend. Don't forget...

"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." - Robert Brault

P.S. Please keep my father-in-law in your prayers. He had to go into the hospital this week and be given blood for a recurring problem with anemia. So far, they haven't figured out what's causing it. Thank you! 

Ambience Lost

 

 

Writers, especially those trying to write at a desktop in the middle of the livingroom in a houseful of people, know you have to learn to tune everything out around you. And anyone who works from home and hopes to accomplish anything at all has to learn to ignore laundry, dishes, dust...

I've developed both of those skills to an extraordinary level. From dusty furniture to photos I've promised people... I can procrastinate them all.

But there's a time for everything - a level of, um, "dirty house" that just can't be ignored anymore. Mine reached that level weeks ago. I just didn't know it until my focus began to blur. 

It was like those nasty mosquitos that have taken over the Hollow near the creekbed lately, buzzing and biting until finally there are so many you can't enjoy your walk because you're too busy slapping them off your shoulders and legs.

So I cleaned my bathroom yesterday. 

Yeah, it's just a drop in the bucket, or, well, one room in a whole house, but hey, it's a start! And getting started, for me, is the toughest part of anything.

And when I say I cleaned it, I mean I scrubbed the shower and the floor... I took all of the rose plates off the wall and washed them in the kitchen sink... I dusted my little vases and photos (although I didn't go so far as to dust each separate spiral Mexican shell sitting in a blue bowl on the counter.)

I shouldn't admit this, but I spent hours on just that one room. When I was through, I lit a candle and relaxed for a few minutes, savoring the clean-ness. I love that room - next to the library, it's my favorite. I truly owed it an apology. 

I also annihilated the overflowing piles of laundry and scratched several unrelated things off of my to-do list yesterday. It felt really, really good.

I have too many deadlines and projects and jobs right now to spend a whole week cleaning and organizing like I need to, so I'm not completely mosquito-free, but I'm promising myself I'll spend at least a day or two each week swatting the rest of them until the buzzing in my ears stops. I know that, until then, I'm going to feel a little out-of-balance and out-of-focus.

Does anyone else have this problem? How do you find time to stay on top of everything? 

I’ve learned that we can do anything, but we can’t do everything… at least not at the same time. Timing is everything.

~Dan Millman 

 

Finding the Rhythm

This morning the sun's red-orange fingertips barely touched the horizon when I stepped out onto the road for my walk. Belle and Max, prancing in the pre-dawn darkness just beyond the French doors, had convinced me not to wait until daylight.

A rowdy wind whipped down the road, whistling through the trees and playing with my hair. A cold front was passing through - well, "cold" by Texas standards, anyway - and despite my sweat pants and hoodie, I shivered. 

Autumn's no longer hinting around, I thought, it's moving on in. Then I remembered the rhythm of the seasons; the transition from one to the next is never overnight, a "honey I'm home!", but more of a flirtation, a dance... up two, back one, up two, back one... although the ultimate marriage is pretty one-sided.

That started me thinking about rhythms and transitions...

You grab the chains and walk backwards as far as you can. With a little hop, you plop your bottom onto the seat, lean back and extend your legs. Thus begins the back and forth, pull with the arms, pull with the legs rhythm until finally, finally you're soaring up, up, up above the trees, into the clouds... and back down again... then up, up, up... gliding with hardly any effort at all...

You grip the oar, lean forward and dip it into the water. You dig deep and pull, pull back toward you, past you, then lift it free, resting it on your lap as you glide smoothly forward with no effort. Then you lean forward and dip it into the water again...

For four minutes I jog, easy does it... then as soon as I enter the fifth minute, I push the little button to speed up my treadmill, kicking and stretching to keep up with the pace. I run as fast as I can for one solid minute, then back it back down to an easy pace for four more. Then I push the button...

With each there is exertion and rest, exertion and rest... a steady movement that inches you farther or further along in your goal.

It hit me I'm in such a transition right now. I have been for some time, but I just lose my momentum every now and then and have to get that push, pull thing going again.

Work, rest, work, rest.

What a great lesson. I need to remember this one, if I ever hope to soar.

 

 

Work and leisure are complementary parts of the same process. They cannot be separated without destroying the joy of work and the bliss of leisure.

E.F. Schumacher

 

Out of Focus (and my Weekly Sweet! List)

I dropped off my camera last Thursday for some much needed TLC. It was way overdue. Just imagine... four years of trips to the beach and walks down my dusty road.

Oh, poor, neglected thing. 

When I finally had it back in my hands, I expected it to work like it was brand new. Instead, the autofocus wouldn't work. I could slip it into manual, but obviously something was wrong.

After a phone call to the shop and a glance at my camera manual, it turned out I just needed to hit 'reset'. 

 Works like a charm, now as you can see. 

I wish I had a "reset" button somewhere on me. My autofocus is shot and my manual focus isn't even working too great either. All I see is a blur as I dash from one thing to another, with a nagging feeling that I'm not making progress anywhere, merely running in circles.

Beth, a friend of mine, posted a photography tip recently: "be careful what you focus on".

Her advice keeps running through my head. Maybe that's what's wrong - I'm not being careful with my focus. In trying to focus on everything within view, it all turns out a blurry mess.

So that's my goal for next week - pushing 'reset' and finding my focus...

*********

Keeping track of the Sweet! moments in my life helps a little... but I've even had a tougher time focusing on these this week...

Sunday: photos and videos proving your boys on vacation in Germany are still alive and well and having fun;

Monday: being reunited with your camera; black and brown puppies, in sizes Small, Medium and Xtra-large, all playing together sweetly

Tuesday: wishing your parents a happy 62nd wedding anniversary; your sister healed enough from her hip surgery to drive; hearing how your puppy defended her 'niece' from a potential neighborhood bully

Wednesday: morning Mass; black butterflies; your "broken" camera miraculously working with just the push of a reset button; being forced to learn more about your camera

Thursday: a clean(er) house; a message that your kids made it to Prague safe and sound

Friday: two calls from your daughter in one day; an update from your globetrotting boys; a surprise chat with your brother-in-law; scanning photos, turning the pages in your memory

Saturday: waking before the alarm, ready to start your day; the sun rising on the Hollow, full of greens and golds

I hope you've had plenty of sweet moments this week and they continue into the weekend! Wish me luck adjusting my focus!

Sweets and Balance on a Catch-Up Sunday

Just trying to catch my balance!

I worked twelve hours yesterday for the first time in twenty years. (I'm talking about paid work, not parenting or household work, from which you never actually clock-out, am I right?...)

Anyway, each year volunteers respond to the call when it's time to harvest the grapes at the vineyard. To say thanks, the owners treat the volunteers to a free buffet dinner party at the Bistro: the annual Harvest Dinner.

Whew! I think I got a taste of what working at a mainstream restaurant on a busy Saturday night might be like!

But the hours went by fast and it was actually fun, in a crazy way. And near the end, I even got to sit down for a bit and visit with two friends I hadn't seen in a while. Very sweet!

Once home last night, I plopped down in a recliner to rest my aching feet and nibble on some chicken, spinach and artichoke lasagna that I snagged from the buffet line, then promptly fell asleep while watching a British television show about cars with Tom.

Today, well-rested, I'm playing catch-up: laundry, emails, um... I think that's as far as I've gotten and I haven't even finished those! So without further ado, here are a few other Sweet! moments from the past week...

Sunday: Boy Scout caramel popcorn full of almonds, pecans and cashews; meeting Kona the English Bulldog, all wiggles and drool; finishing the book "Faithful Place" in time to write the review

Monday: hearing that your Daddy is released from the hospital, even if there's no diagnosis; meeting your book review deadline with hours to spare

Tuesday: joining with others to support a friend; your son's help moving your daughter back to campus; news that your dad (only recently released from the hospital) swept the kitchen

Wednesday: your son's help with moving again, especially with getting a mini-fridge up two flights of stairs; a warm smile and sincere "How are you?" from a Walmart employee who wasn't even the official greeter; the smell of rain and sight of distant lightning

Thursday: your old dog Max running after jackrabbit (and knowing the jackrabbit got away); raindrops on your dusty windshield; photographing your toddler great niece who you haven't seen since Thanksgiving

Friday: watching a hawk splashing in a birdbath; faces of dear friends; lunch with your mom and dad; seeing your sister walk without using her cane; slipping out of Houston before the Friday afternoon rush hour 

Saturday: putting your feet up after a long day; sharing chocolate torte with your sweetie

Sunday: sleeping in and still making it to church on time; a day off to play catch-up around the house

I hope you managed to find some sweet moments in your week! 

Now where was I...?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sweets in a busy week

For some reason, I thought this past week would have more time in it. 

I thought by the time I headed to work at the Bistro this morning, I would be all caught up on everything, plus perhaps even a little ahead on a few things.

Well, I wasn't. But I refuse to give myself a hard time about it. There's always next week... (and if there's not, then none of it matters anyway, right?)

I was so scatterbrained this whole week that a dear friend's 50th birthday snuck up on me... I remembered in time to send an email and a text, but not in time to send the card I intended to send all week (it was even on my to-do list!)

Despite that, I actually kept track of my Sweets! each day. It appears I've managed to turn it into a habit. (Thank goodness! I needed another good one to balance out the bad ones!)

So here they are, a few of my sweet moments of this past crazy-busy airheaded week...

 

Saturday: running 1.5 miles in less than 15 minutes for the first time in 30+ years; watching the full moon rise over Lake Travis with your sweetie pie and thinking about all the full moons you've shared in the past 29 years; grilled rib-eye steak, baked potato with the works and cheesecake

Sunday: listening to an inspiring sermon on faith; miraculously getting to work on time; laughing over old episodes of Twin Peaks with your son 

Monday: a morning walk with the full moon; news that your brother snuck off and got married over the weekend; hours and hours of writing 

Tuesday: tons of prayer and sweet thoughts from your friends for your dad who is in the hospital; meeting a deadline

Wednesday: praying in a quiet, empty church; news that your dad passed his arteriogram with flying colors

Thursday: skipping on a dirt road; shopping with your frugal daughter; lots of reading time

Friday: hitting the clearance racks with your daughter, Part 2; satisfying your shoe addiction within your budget; watching a movie with your sweetie

Saturday: sleeping in (ahhhh!); time at work to snap lots of photos; news that your dad is passing all of his tests, even if the doctors can't figure out what's causing his problems and won't let him escape from the hospital yet

 

Hope you took time to notice your sweet moments, too! 

At times

With mere minutes to spare (I thought) I hit the send button, catapulting my She Writes submission just under the deadline wire. 

Turns out I had four hours left - Tom and I both weren't thinking straight on the Pacific vs. East Coast time thing - but that's okay. If I'd known I had the time, I would have used it, staying up way too late. I'm already dragging as it is.

I spent the past two days writing, writing, writing, trying to get those 2000 words just right. Sometimes the story just flowed - I was right there in it. Other times the words I needed were rooted in hard soil;  I had to plant my feet and pull, pull, pull till they broke free.

Anyway, after staying focused on my book like that, and working the whole weekend, I'm behind on everything else again. 

I'm not even talking about laundry. I can live with that. What stresses me out is my email inbox is overflowing and mostly unanswered, I have 341 unread posts on my Google Reader and I have no idea what celebrations, trials or tribulations my Facebook friends have been going through for days.  

I don't like that. Will I ever find a balance?

Today I've been too scatterbrained and distracted to accomplish much of anything. Here it is almost 8pm and I have no idea where the day went, except for the almost 2 hours I spent on the phone with a nice lady from AT&T who tried to help me set up my outdated version of Outlook Express on my ancient computer, and the quick trip into town to light a candle in the church, water my friend's plants and grab some milk from the store.

See, as of yesterday evening, my dad is in the hospital. It's unclear exactly what's wrong with Daddy, but a good guess is some sort of circulation issue, his main gremlin the past few decades. They're running tests and I pray they're able to determine what's going on. (An update before I could publish this - so far everything they've tested is looking good! Maybe it's something minor after all!!)

I jumped on Facebook last night long enough to request prayers, and the outpouring of positive energy in my mom and dad's direction through prayer, good thoughts and love was phenomenol. 

Thank you all! I hope to be a better friend and less of a scatterbrain next week. (No guarantees before then!)

 

I know that at times I will be troubled, 
I know that at times I will be belabored,
I know that at times I will be disquieted,
But I believe that I will not be overcome.
Amen.

- Julian of Norwich

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Detours (and my Friday Favorite Photo)

This has been one crazy, zig-zagging, bouncing, stretching-myself-across-so-many-things-I-think-I'm-going-to-pop kind of week. One of those weeks where everything is high priority and you just can't procrastinate any longer. So you just do it all, period, and try your best to get some sleep.

Things like a writing deadline, a book review deadline, a contact list to compile and a group email that had to go out, a BlogHer assignment, a Parish Council meeting, eye doctor appointments x 3 of us, my car inspected, our anniversary looming, my sister's birthday, a dozen blog posts swirling in my head waiting to be born, a new FlickR project, my refrigerator filter glowing orange, watering a friend's plants while she's out of town plus trying to keep our own alive...

Whew.

All of this on top of my two day jobs (weekday and weekend) overlapping so I have only one day off in 9 days right on the heels of a quick trip out of town to a wedding. 

I confess I didn't even think about housework of any kind this week or do more than glance at my three-page to-do list. 

If it weren't for Tom, TG and Daniel helping with cooking, laundry and whatever I ask them to do around here, I really would have popped, I'm sure.

Of course, it's not over yet. I work both days this week at the Bistro; we celebrate our anniversary tomorrow night (we're thinking dessert at Sonic at sunset); reading and writing deadlines still loom, the filter light still gives me an orange wink every time I open the fridge door, my car still isn't inspected (shhh! don't tell!), I haven't started the FlickR project, and my laundry is overflowing...

But the good news is I'll have time to take care of most of these starting Monday. The bad news is it's because one of my jobs ended, which means one of my paychecks. The good news is that means I'll have more time to focus on my book and my businesses, and I'll still be moderating the Jobs4Autism website.

I haven't decided if I've come to another detour in my life or if I'm actually stepping back onto the main road. I've taken so many detours I'm not even sure what the main road looks like anymore. Some detours were results of my own decisions; some just plopped down from no where, forcing me to veer in a new direction.

I came across this on a blog today, written by Baron Batch, a Texas Tech to Pittsburgh Steelers football player/writer:

"The funny thing about all roads is that at some point they all have potholes, speed bumps and detours. However, the durability of your vehicle is what allows you to reach your destination regardless of your traveling conditions."

Baron's post is a tribute to his faith and a reminder of the value of detours in our life. Instead of playing in his first NFL game this week, he tore his ACL. He writes...

"Trying to understand Gods plan will bring insanity, trusting it brings peace."

So much wisdom in one so young! I aspire to have that kind of faith and pray my kids do, too. I hope we all have durable vehicles! (I wish I could be confident that when my own kids face detours in their lives, when things go wrong as they always will, they hear my voice whispering, "Have faith, have faith.")

 

And now for my Friday Favorite Photo!

I picked this one of Max because...

a) it's taken with my new 50mm lens! and 

b) he's eating! 

(He stopped eating for awhile last weekend when we were gone. Got me so worried! Dang dogs.)

Now that I think of it, Max himself was a detour. We had decided we weren't going to have any more dogs. Then that starving puppy wandered up and stole our hearts...

Hope you've had a wonderful week... hope you have a great weekend...  and hope you look at the detours in your life as opportunities rather than bad luck.

Amen.

 

 

 

 

 

Tenacity

"Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live."

~JIm Rohn
American motivational speaker, 20th century

 

I didn't feel like running yesterday morning. Too many things to do before work and not enough sleep the night before. Skipping one day won't matter...

I ignored that voice. It's true my world doesn't stop turning if I skip one morning workout - there are some days I actually don't have time - and on those days I forgive myself and just get back to it the next day.

But yesterday, I knew I had time.  So I agreed to a compromise: I could stop after two miles, and if I felt like walking a little, that was okay. But I had to go at least two miles. No negotiation on that point.

(I've learned the key is tricking myself - I knew once I started, I'd feel much better and keep going. I fall for it every time!)

Sure enough, within the first few seconds, I felt pretty good. Instead of increasing my speed every five minutes like I normally do, I revved it up a notch every four. And at the two mile mark, I didn't even consider stopping.

You've probably already guess that I run on a treadmill. Our road is caliche, a combination of big rocks and gravel. It only took one skinned knee and where-the-heck-did-that-rock-come-from-did-I-break-anything? incident to convince me to move indoors. 

Anyway, yesterday morning I thought I couldn't run at all and ended up completing three miles in 31 minutes 

You might not think that's great, especially you runners out there. But when I remember all the times I couldn't run because of my asthma - all the medicine I've taken, all the trips to the emergency room, that whole winter semester of tennis in 8th grade when Ms. Clark wouldn't even let me go outside with the rest of the class because she feared the cold would trigger an asthma attack and I had to practice volleying against the wall alone all period - well, I think running three miles in 31 minutes at 52 years old is pretty damn good.

I started running in high school. Not the kind you do as a kid, for fun, but the kind you don't really want to do but do anyway because you know it's good for you.

Or because, like me, you want to lose weight. (I had to take a lot of prednisone for my asthma - and if you've taken prednisone, you know it makes you crave cheesecake! And Doritos and Roadrunner steak sandwiches and Wendy's Frosties...)

My asthma flared at first , but before too long, I stopped needing my inhaler. As much, anyway.

I didn't actually run-run. I wasn't on the track team or anything. I just ran-jogged around my half-mile block every morning before school. Afterwards, I'd jump rope for a few minutes, and finish up with some sit-ups and stretches.

But then during my first semester in college, thinking of myself as a runner, I signed up for "Aerobics" (Dr. Cooper's version, not Dance.) We learned all about cardiovascular fitness and kept track of our "daily aerobic points", aiming at a minimum of 40 each day.(Cooper's book, Aerobics, assigned points for different activities, depending on their aerobic benefit.)

At intervals during the semester, we took timed 1 1/2 mile runs around the top of the University of Houston's Hofheinz Pavilion to measure our progress. 

Despite all those half-mile morning jogs leading up to my first timed 1 1/2 mile circuit, I thought I would die before I finished. I couldn't even run the whole way, but had to stop and walk a few times! I finished in something like 15 minutes and 20 seconds.

How humbling and eye-opening.

Fast forward through a semester of night runs and jump rope sessions. I'm running my last 1 1/2 miles around the top of Hofheinz Pavilion. I'm kind of nervous, but this time I'm able to keep running, running, running the whole way, finishing in 12 minutes and 40 seconds.

I know from TG's high school cross-country meets that for an 18-year-old, this still isn't a great time, but it was almost three minutes faster than two months before! High-five!

Okay, and I know I'll never be able to run 1 1/2 miles in less than 13 minutes again, but I did finish it in 15 minutes and 45 seconds one morning recently... and then kept on running for another 1 1/2 miles. Another high-five!

 

“Fitness is a journey, not a destination. It must be continued for the rest of your life.”

- Dr. Kenneth Cooper

I continued running after that semester, working up to 3 miles. But one night I didn't have time to run 3 miles. I didn't want to run less, so I just didn't run at all. (How's that for logic??)

Before I knew it, weeks of no running had passed. I dropped out of school, started working shiftwork, got married, had babies. 

Every once in awhile during those next few years, I'd lace up my shoes and try running again, or bicycling, or swimming. Then I'd reach a point I couldn't or wouldn't maintain, or something else in my life would take precedence.

Until four years ago, when I realized what a terrible friend I had been to someone who depended solely on me: My body.

I walked with the dogs in the mornings, but otherwise put my own health last on my priority list, behind the people I loved - ironically, the very ones who depended on me to take care of them, who needed me to be healthy, who I wanted to be healthy! And just look at the example I'd been giving them! 

Instead of being selfish, I realized taking care of myself was actually a way to show my love to those who depended on me! And that's what keeps me going every morning now, even more than the desire to fit into my favorite jeans or be able to go out dancing or whatever else I want to do in the time I have left on this earth. 

Although those are pretty good motivators, I admit.

Because there are so many dreams I'm still working on as time allows. My writing, my photography, my college degree ...even playing my drums, although I have no illusion of ever really being good. But I intend to keep playing them as long as I can hold those drumsticks.

I also run out of gratitude, with every step giving thanks for my legs, my lungs, my heart. Gifts we too often take for granted or even abuse, like spoiled children with expensive toys. I run for my friends and family who can't.

When I started running again, I cut myself some slack - I didn't want to hurt myself! But I was still firm and refused to let myself quit. I'm in it for the long run, literally. And that determination flows over into the other areas of my life.

I just wish I'd had this much determination and flexibility when I was 18 - this vision of the "long run," of ebb-and-flow-but-don't-stop. Time isn't gracious. Over the years, just as I found a rhythm, making progress on one dream or another, something would pop up and I'd have to set it on a shelf. I gave up way too fast. But at least I have it now, this bullheadedness. This tenacity.

 As long as I'm breathing, my dreams won't stay long on the shelf. 

And I'll keep lacing up my shoes.

"Anything is possible.

You can be told that you have a 90-percent chance or a 50-percent chance or a 1-percent chance, but you have to believe, and you have to fight."

 
~Lance Armstrong

Birdbrained and Ridin' Dirty...

This bird didn't know where it was going!

Seeing its zig-zaggy tracks made me laugh - it's exactly how I feel these days, bouncing from writing my book to writing blog posts to photography to 'paycheck' work to blog-reading to my jewelry business to my personal history business to house stuff to to-do lists to emails to Facebook... and getting behind on all of them.

So last night I set the alarm to wake up at 4am this morning.

That would give me over an hour of writing time in a silent house. I hoped at 4am the wild-flying thoughts and words bouncing around in my brain would be tame enough to capture. 

Then I calculated how much sleep that would give me if I rose at 4, projected myself through the rest of the day on so few hours of rest, weighed whether getting all of those things done I needed to do but couldn't focus on at night was worth feeling miserable all day and having huge bags under my eyes.

I reset the alarm for 5:30am.

One day soon I'll have time for writing and sleeping - but much less money. Why can't time and money work together? It seems I never have enough of either one.

Speaking of droughts, it's still dry around here; my dust-covered car is once again attracting attention from random passers-by in parking lots...

Hope today you get plenty of rain or time or money or whatever it is you need!

(And if you don't, I hope you can laugh about it! Remember, nothing ever stays the same. Just hang on!)

 

Smiles (and Friday's Favorite Photos)

Oh, I had big plans for yesterday, all spelled out in a realistic and do-able list of things to accomplish on my day off.

Besides the usual - my morning walk with the dogs, their breakfast on the back porch and my work-out which I always dread and want to get out of the way as soon as possible - I was eager to activate my new iPhone. I'm finally entering the "iWorld", although still a bit behind everyone else with a 3G because they're cheap and 4Gs aren't.

Once I had my new phone up and running, I would tackle the rest of my list: pick up a few groceries, try out a new recipe, clear the mound of paperwork from my desk, pay some bills, work on my book and blogs and photos ... until it was time to shuttle TG to her summer class at the community college.

However, I forgot about Murphy's Law. To activate the phone, I had to install iTunes on my computer and that turned into an all day ordeal, involving downloads and uninstalls and phone calls to Apple.

Sooo... I'm still using my old phone today. Sigh. The pretty, new, shiny iPhone is back in its box waiting for my next day off to be brought to life.

But this morning I'm still smiling, inside and out, and here's why...

Belle greeted me, all wiggles and grins and squeals of delight, as soon as I stepped out the door.

 

How could you see this face and not smile?

Then Max pranced around the corner and even though Belle bit his ankles all the way up the walkway, he kept grinning - he puts up with the pain and irritation (to a certain extent, anyway) out of love and appreciation for her playfulness. Seeing him smile makes me smile.

But there's more...

I know we need rain and I would welcome stormy skies, but in all honesty, a blue sky stretching cloudless from one rose-kissed horizon to the other makes my heart soar.

My bougainvillea continues to bloom, brightening the browns and grays with splashes of deep fuschia.

Bird tracks zig-zag and criss-cross the dirt in several spots along our road. Perhaps a roadrunner or the goofy doves that cluster in that area, but they remind me of my Frankie-bird and that makes me smile.

I received a text yesterday from someone very dear to me, someone whose heart suffered deep loss just a few years ago, someone who I feared would never rediscover the joy in life, letting me know he'd found love again. He's happy. That didn't just make me smile - it made me cry with joy!

Even if I didn't have all of these things to smile about, I'd find a way to smile anyway because of this Japanese proverb I came across yesterday...

 

‎"We do not smile because something good has happened;

rather something good happens because we smile." 

So find a way to smile today, somehow, someway!

And now here's my Favorite Photo of the Week...

This just says "Texas" to me, because where but Texas will you find a cactus growing beside a vineyard? 

Maybe there are other places, but we Texans always like to think we're unique. Being a Texan makes me smile - as well as getting to work where I can see cactus growing beside a vineyard.

 

Happy Friday! Tell me what makes you smile these days.

Under the right circumstances (or "All Dried Up")

If you could peek inside my brain, this is what it would look like...

I feel as dry as our pond. Seeds of thought sprout in my brain, but there's nary a cloud of creativity in sight to nourish them. They're just withering away. 

Time. That's what I need a bit more of right now. Free time to help those thoughts grow into big, beautiful finished products.

I know the rain will eventually fall and fill our pond to overflowing once again, so I believe Time will soon return to help me clean off my crowded backburners and get things cooking. 

(Wait, how did I get from weather and nature metaphors to cooking? See what I mean? Completely dried up!)

I just hope that, despite the drought and unreliable creativity clouds and crowded backburners and mixed metaphors, I'm on the verge of blossoming, just like my crape myrtles. 

But then I'll probably complain about being broke.

Happy Wednesday, anyway!

 

Time, Water and other missing things (plus Friday's Favorite Photos)

I walked at dusk, a tangerine glow still lining the horizon, not quite snuffed by the night sky. The wind blew hard, but it was comforting, like a friend's reassuring hug, and its roaring in my ear was a lullaby, soothing.

While the puppies hunted for lizards and rough-housed in the sand, I turned inward, flipping through my thoughts, trying to sort and organize and figure out why I feel so scattered, why I feel someone has stolen minutes from my day.

I just can't get as much done as I used to and I don't know why.

My brain feels as dry as the land around me, and that doesn't help. My words and thoughts are wilted, sluggish, thirsty for more writing time.

And yet, hasn't my time for writing always been like that, just bits and pieces shared by so many different projects that they're worn thin like tattered hand-me-downs, tossed aside into the nooks and crannies of my day? What's different now?

Maybe it's not the amount of time, but the rhythm of my day. Maybe it's the other things competing with space in my brain...things like jobs and money, dreams and reality, love and heartache, concerns about family and friends.

Maybe it's just the weather.

But the wind blew my cloud of melancholy away. Despite the heat, the drought and the horsefly circling me, preparing to strike, it was a beautiful evening and my blessings are too numerous to count.

Here's one... My sister Brenda got the okay from her doctor to put weight on her hip. She's back home again, with her husband and cat. I know she appreciates how Mama and Daddy embraced her and cared for her while she recuperated from hip surgery, but three months is a long time to be away from home and I'm happy for all of them.

Yeah, maybe I'm dropping things lately like so much loose change slipping through my fingers, but I've also taken care of a few to-do's that have waited patiently for my attention, such as finally posting (and selling!) stuff via Craig's List, starting back on writing my book semi-daily, cleaning up my hard drive to free up some space... um, maybe that's it. But that's something.

By the way, did you see the full moon this week? I always count it as a blessing, one that helps me put the trivial things of my life into perspective. I remembered to take a few shots of its progression - they don't do it justice, but they're still my Friday Favorite Photos picks, reminding me to stop, focus, breathe, be still.

Oh, and here's a favorite quote from the week. It has nothing to do with anything else I wrote - I just like it...

Preconceived notions are the locks on the door to wisdom.

Merry Browne

Hope you are having a wonderful Friday!

 

 

 

 

 

 

My backburner is getting crowded...

I fidgeted in the swivel chair -- the 'good' chair, the teacher's chair -- twisting it back and forth by swinging my crossed leg up and down.  Mostly unfamiliar faces stared back at me, except one or two I've known since their toddler-hood. But then, the whole high school felt unfamiliar. Odd, considering all the days I spent there not so long ago.

I spoke to the faces about writing, even though I know all of these kids could teach me a thing or two about writing. Ms. D taught my kids AP English and AP Literature, and I often subbed for her. She's very thorough.

But they listened politely and even asked a few questions.

Still, after ten years or so of annually reading my published essays to Ms. D's junior AP English class and giving them my tired tidbits of writing advice, I think it may be time to retire.

You see, Ms. D always introduces me as a 'published author' and while that's true, it's been a long, long time since I had anything published.

I'm not counting my newspaper articles. Those barely felt like writing - they weren't a part of me in the same way my essays are. (No offense to any newspaper writers out there.) And my blog - well, I just push a button! No approval but mine necessary.

Of course, it's been a long time since I actually submitted anything anywhere, and if you want to be published, it helps to submit your work. Your chances greatly improve!

It's just ... well ... I feel a little silly sitting up there hanging on to past glory. While reading A View from a Catwalk, it hit me I was just 31 when I wrote it, ready to set the world on fire with my writing.

Here I come, world!

That was 21 years ago! Wow. I discovered setting the world on fire with your writing is a lot harder than I thought, especially when you're just an above average writer at best (lots of rewrites requiring lots of time,) coming off of 13 years of shiftwork and your dream of being a stay-at-home mom with your three precious babies is coming true.

Along with Tom, they were the pot on the front burner that needed the most attention, and writing was pushed way to the back, right next to completing my college degree and hitting garage sales because we were now a broke, single-income family.

My most recently published essay is In the Aftermath of a Car Crash, about the head-on collision that nearly killed Tom back in 1998, and it was published eleven years ago in 2000.

Eleven years ago!

It's not that I haven't written since then. I was very disciplined the year following Tom's accident - with a published essay to show for it -  until the computer hard drive crashed, imprisoning several short stories, the first few drafts of two books and ideas for more. (I wasn't quite as disciplined about backing up my work, unfortunately.)

Tom salvaged some of it, but I haven't had chunks of dedicated writing time like that since that year. We started on our house, the kids' schedules got busier... and whoosh! here I am sitting in front of a class reading something I wrote more than a decade ago, because I have nothing newer that's been published ... or even completed anything enough to submit anywhere.

Sounds like I've already retired, doesn't it?

But  I'm not giving up on finishing and submitting my books or stories or screenplays someday. And I might not even give up my annual 'author' spotlight, if Ms. D asks me back again. Even if my credentials are getting dusty and my writing tips are ho-hum, I think I'm still very qualified to speak on never giving up on your dreams. I can vouch they keep pretty well on that backburner for a long, long time.

 

 

Sweet! #7 and then some

Some days it's tough to think of a Sweet! and this is one of them.

I'm tired. It's way past my bedtime.

I've started a dozen things this evening but haven't finished a single one.

I have a deadline looming.

Tom's birthday is coming up and I'm not ready.

Facebook is acting up on loading pictures, the restaurant I wanted to reserve for after Daniel's graduation is already booked, and I found out my brother-in-law's 87-year-old mother is in the hospital with pneumonia. I know my sister Brenda is very worried.

But...

...I slept all night without waking a single time. (All of you other menopausal women can appreciate that one!)

...it rained again. Lots of thick drops, the kind that soak into the ground and do some good.

...Daniel and TG feel they did pretty good on their finals today.

...I took a break from work for a walk this afternoon and the wind and sun felt fabulous on my face.

...on our morning walk, Belle stayed sitting beside me when our neighbor drove past in his truck; I didn't have to pull her back by the collar to keep her from chasing him like I usually do.

...my oldest volunteered to help me find a restaurant for after graduation.

...Tom fixed my jumprope I've been using for 34 years that decided to come apart this morning.

All pretty Sweet!-worthy on their own, I guess.

Now I'm going to bed.

Hope you had at least one Sweet! today!

(This photo is technically an accident, but I really like it. One more Sweet!)

 

 

On Dreams ... and Sweet #5

"Nothing happens unless first we dream." ~ Carl Sanburg

So true. But dreams are just seeds - they don't bloom without the right conditions and it's up to us to help them along. We have to water them. Plant them where they'll get enough sunshine. 

I've been prodded several times just in the past few days to keep moving on my dreams - to nurture them.

• Saturday night Shake Russell stood a few feet away from me and sang, "...you're only as strong as your dreams. Don't give 'em up for a stack of green. Keep right on going and you'll see what I mean..." from one of his latest songs. (I'll post about this, but I've barely had time to look at my photos!)
• Last night I finally watched the movie "Up" - it's about an elderly man finally following through on a dream he shared with his wife, after she passes away.
• Today I saw the Sanburg quote up above.

But I already planned to use this day to further my (latest) dream, a personal history business, where I can use my love of writing and history and genealogy and general nosiness about people's lives to help them preserve their stories as legacy - and today I registered the name and secured the domain (I didn't even make up my mind on it until I was in the county tax office!) 

 

The name I chose is...

"Memory to Legacy"

So...what do you think?

Huh? You don't like it? Well, there's no going back now, so please don't even tell me!

(Thank you to everyone who gave me feedback on some of my choices and gave me other ideas. It really helped. Please don't be mad if I didn't choose your favorite!This one isn't even my first pick!)

It's scary, this "going into business" for myself thing, especially since we're already pretty broke. But I feel I'm moving in a direction I'm supposed to (does that make sense?) so at this point, I'm not too worried. Next month when I'm trying to pay bills it might be different, but right now I feel very optimistic.  Shake's words help: "...don't give them up for a small stack of green..."  which to me means a another job I don't enjoy but that provides a steady paycheck.

While I was busy trying to figure out how to secure the domain and link it to my blog host, Tom was huffing and puffing, carrying even more bookshelves into my library. So that dream has moved even further along as well, bless my sweet husband's heart. 

I'm hoping I'll have time to work on my book and photography during downtime on my business. The clock is ticking and I need to stop dawdling and get busy.

Okay, now for my Sweet!...

 It's funny - now that I've started this Sweet! series, it's actually tough to pick just one to post a day. Making the final decision on a name felt really good. Plus, today, I got to see 2/3 of my kids - even had lunch and a great philosophical discussion with 1/3. A funny Mother's Day card from my oldest third arrived in the mail. And I found a penny on the floor just as I was handing over the paperwork for my name. (A great reminder of "In God We Trust")

All pretty Sweet!

But I'll stick to the dream theme for Sweet #5:

Moving a step (or two) closer along the path to your Dream.

What is your dream and what have you done lately to make it come true?

P.S. I received word today that someone who played a big part in our lives has Stage 4 cancer in their liver, colon and lungs, and just started chemo. Please, please keep this person in your prayers! Thank you!

 

 

 

Spring Fever Frenzy and Sweet! #1

Frenzy is my word of the week, (where's my copy of Pearl Jam's song Just Breathe?) so please forgive me if this post seems a little harried and unorganized. If it jumps around a bit, it's just a reflection of my life right now, hopscotching from one project to the next in haphazard order.

Tom and I have two Major Events coming up this month - another Shake Russell home concert and Daniel's graduation - just the kind of matches we need to light fires under our butts and get us moving on projects we should have tackled months ago.

Why, oh why do we procrastinate?

You would be amazed by how much Tom and I can ignore around our house - he always has half a dozen projects in various stages going on simultaneously and after almost 30 years together, I've learned to ignore random tools and pieces of equipment left lying in odd places. 

One reason I ignore it all is because, if he dares say anything about my own piles of unorganized junk or projects-in-progress, I have ammunition. We've learned to be very accepting of each other's idiosyncrasies.

When Major Events appear on the calendar, though, that helps us see our home from a visitor's point of view and YIKES, our priorities shift. I haven't even gotten to the 'cleaning' part - for some reason, I've got it in my head I need to sort through boxes, clean up my office-to-be, my closet, cabinets... 

It's not that I think anyone will care, but I have to use this rare fever while I have it.

So, what I didn't do this past weekend: 

• Work on my book.
• Dance, play ping-pong or my drums.
• Load Photoshop Elements on my computer. (I'm hesitating because, from experience with my computer, I know it won't be as easy as clicking a few buttons. I need a chunk of time to work on this.)
• Finalize the name for my new venture. If I get any chunks of time, this is what I've been spending them on. Even though I work for a naming company, I had no idea it would take me this long to pick one. I'm really afraid I'm overthinking it. I've narrowed it down to three, though, and now have to figure out how to register it. There are so many things involved in starting a business - yikes!
• Attend my friend Jacque's college graduation Saturday morning. I fully intended to - I got up early, showered, dressed and was ready to head out the door, but stopped to double check directions to where I thought it was being held Turns out, it was on a totally different highway than she told me in her graduation-eve excitement, much farther than I realized. I should have googled it the night before and gotten up earlier. There was no way I could make it there in time.

What I did accomplish, outside of the normal routine:

• Unloaded a ton of stuff at Goodwill. I was going to stop after the graduation ceremony, anyway. Tom and I had already loaded up my car with bags and boxes of things to donate.
• Treated myself to a pedicure and manicure. Unusual for someone in a frenzy, I know, but the salon is next door to Goodwill. I'm 52, but I can count the number of pedicures I've had in my life on one hand - I think this was number 5 - and this was only the second manicure I've ever had. The other one was part of a spa day gift from Tom in honor of my 30th birthday. (What is wrong with me?)
• Promised myself I won't wait another year for a pedicure, or another 22 years for a manicure.
• Made a few baby steps of progress on starting my business. No, I didn't finalize the name, but I made progress. That's what I have to focus on.
• Sorted through several boxes of stuff and weeded out more stuff to give away. I'm a hoarder collector, but I'm started to have pity on my kids when they have to go through my things later. (Of course, if Tom's still around, it'll be easy on them. He'll just dump it all or burn it.)
• Paid bills and made a dent in the laundry. (No explanation needed here - these things never wait patiently.) 

Tom spent most of Saturday on a Habitat-for-Humanity type project. It's not HFH, but a similar program his company partners with a few times a year. He loves using his carpentry skills to help people.

On his way home he picked up a new (to us) elliptical trainer and stationary bike he found on Craig's List. We have our own little gym again, for less than the cost of a gym membership. Yay, Tom! 

He's putting his Craig's List truck to good use!

On the Today Show this week, I found out about something that apparently everyone else already knows about - 1000 Awesome Things.

How did I miss this? Especially as a blogger? (If you, like me, have had your head in the ground lately and haven't heard about this, click on that link above and take a look - but then come back!)

Actually, what I want to know, is why didn't I think of this myself?

Even though I didn't, I'm going to blatantly steal borrow Neil Pasricha's premise and start looking on the bright side of things every day. Considering my current frenzied state, I think it will do me some good.

I also want to set a good example for my kids and prove to them that no matter how bad things get in a day, it's possible to find one little "sweet!" moment. I honestly believe that.

I apologize in advance because this means I might have two posts in a single day right here on Long Hollow, plus another one on Confessions. I forgive you if you don't always read them or comment, but I would like to hear about your "sweet!" moments too, if you have the time to share them. From here on out, I'll write them as separate posts and keep them in the Sweet! category so I can go back and remember little rays of sunshine on those dark days.

 So here we go with Sweet #1 (drumroll please)...

... Getting an email from my son just to say he loves me - and to tell me he has no cavities. When your grown children take charge of their lives, it can be so hard to let go, especially in those health care areas. After years of intensive, organized, methodical mothering and worrying over their health - doctor and dentist check-ups, prescriptions, etc. - you watch them fly out of the nest to other regions with unknown doctors and dentists and you can only pray they continue to take care of themselves. 

It took the suspicion of a cavity, but he did it. Sweet!

 

 

 

Thank you, BlogHer!

I think I've mentioned this before - I'm a book addict. I have boxes and boxes of books stacked in the boys' rooms downstairs, waiting for the library Tom has promised me  (and promised me... and promised me...)

(Okay, in his defense, he built this whole house ... even finished out my closet while he barely has a rod to hang his shirts on, so I understand a proper home for my beloved books isn't high on the priority list. Really I do. Sigh.) 

Anyway, back to my addiction...

Books fill windowsills and mismatched bookshelves that are scattered around the house. Books are stacked on tables, fill cabinets... you get the picture. I just can't throw a book away or resist "adopting" a homeless one (for the right price, anyway.)

But I think I've also already mentioned that I don't take time to read anymore - not books, anyway. Not often. I have good intentions and dream of reading all of the books I adopt, but the reality is they sit waiting, neglected, while I spend my hours trying to make money and chase the dreams I've put off for so long.

I miss reading a good book. There's nothing like it, getting sucked into the pages, caught up in the lives of the characters, becoming oblivious to everything around you, laughing, crying, getting mad.

Growing up I spent hours reading, and when the kids were younger we shared dozens of books over the years, 30 minutes at a time, every single night. When they got older, summers would find me next to the pool with a book in my hand while they splashed around with their friends.

Now they're grown up and I'm too busy trying to make money.

And that's why I'm so grateful to BlogHer - they started a Book Club and asked for reviewers. Immediately, I raised my hand. Not only would I be sent a book (for free!) but I'd be paid to read and write a review. Not much, mind you, but any little bit was enough justification to me.

The first book I read for the Book Club, Caleb's Crossing by Geraldine Brooks, is a historical fiction, a genre I love, but it's been awhile since I read one I enjoyed this much. It was tough to put it down! It's about the first Native American to attend Harvard, although for me it was more of a coming-of-age story about a young girl named Bethia who befriends him.

If you're interested, click HERE to read my review and others on BlogHer. (But if you decide to buy it, please come back here and click on my link!)

Now (thanks to BlogHer) I'm reading a memoir - A Jane Austen Education, by William Deresiewicz. After my adventure with Caleb's Crossing, I was tempted to jump into another novel, but this one called to me for some reason, and I'm glad I picked it. Stay tuned for my review later this month.

Besides giving me an excuse to read, BlogHer also recently gave me a chance to try some new dog food (well, for Belle to try some new dog food) and to give readers a chance to win a $100 Visa gift card.  I won't give any of the details away here, though ... if you're interested, click HERE to read my review on Purina Pro Plan Selects and see how to win.

Okay, I'll tell you this much - all you have to do is leave a comment on my review blog (not here) to be entered to win. (Although I love reading your comments, here, too!)

You'll also get to read a little about me and my dogs and see some cute pictures of them. And also find out how to increase your chances of winning!

Good luck, and I hope you're having a great week!

Pausing for a moment to look back

The window beside me frames a pre-dawn indigo sky separating from the black treeline - soon I'll be able to make out Belle's black body sitting patiently just beyond the French doors, head-tilted, waiting for our walk. 

I've climbed from the rapids my life has become to sit here on the bank in the quiet and take a breath, think about the past weekend and the week ahead, before diving back in and getting carried along in the swift currents. I can get moving so fast, from one thing to the next, that I sometimes forget to stop and savor.

Easter weekend overflowed with blessings ... kids, dogs, food ... dancing, Mass, dinner with friends. We walked a little, worked a little, watched movies, rocked on the porch. I took lots of photos but have barely had time to look at them.

Last night a dear friend from the past stopped by with his wife, and then I made a boomerang trip downtown to pick up TG for a doctor's visit this morning. I'll return her to campus, put in a few hours of (paid) work, and then prepare for a meeting this evening. Tomorrow night I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a reunion with another friend. Swirling around it all is a looming deadline - or two or three.

I refuse to let myself feel over-anxious about any of it. I'm determined to keeping breathing, keep my eyes open and enjoy the ride. I'm blessed.

Oops, the sky is now a soft gray and the trees are green. Time to dive back into the rapids. I've enjoyed this little break with you. Hope you have a wonderful week!

 

 

 

 

 

Time to re-sort my rocks

 

You've seen that story about the professor and the rocks, right? The one where he uses them to explain priorities to his classroom?  

If you haven't, here's a synopsis (if you know the story, just skip this part)...

To illustrate time management and priorities, a professor sets a large jar on the table in front of his class, and fills it with some fist-sized rocks. Then he adds some pebbles that fit between the large rocks. Then he pours sand in on top of those, and finally, in one version, he pours in two beers, filling every single little bit of space. Nothing more will fit.

 With each step until the beer, the professor asks the class if the jar is full. They say yes, then he proves them wrong by adding something else to it. 

There are several points you can take from the story...

1. If you fill up the jar with the little stuff first, you won't have room for the big stuff (your family, your health - physical, spiritual and mental, and other things of highest importance.) Those need to go in first. Top priority.
2. You can squeeze a lot into the empty spaces surrounding those big rocks; use your free time productively. Multitask.
3. There's always room in a day for a couple of beers. Or a dance. Or a game of ping-pong. Or a walk with the dogs.
4.  Unfortunately, the jar eventually becomes too full and bits start falling over the side, unnoticed - nothing more will fit unless something else comes out.

As much as I love #3, I'm realizing the truth of #4. That's where I am right now - my jar is full and overflowing. 

I wish I could just get a new jar.

Instead, I'm having to virtually dump everything out onto the table and re-evaluate all of my rocks, pebbles, sand, and even the beer. I gotta decide what goes back in - and in what order - and what gets left on the table.

For now, anyway.

Because, as Patty Loveless says, "Life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same," and soon enough, I'll need to do this all over again, and maybe some of those things I'm having to leave on the table for now will be able to fit in the jar again ... things like playing my drums, playing around with photography, keeping up with Facebook and blogging friends, posting so much on my own blogs, slipping away so often with my friends ... even working on my book. 

They won't be left out for long. Those are things I love! Things I need!

But I have a new venture that's scary and exciting at the same time - something so new to me that for the next couple of months I'm going to have to devote a lot of time to learning and preparing. I've tried fitting it into the existing spaces, but that's when I realized my jar is overflowing. There are no empty spaces left.

As much as I hate to admit it, something's got to go.

For now. Just for a little while.

(Wish me luck!)

Weary Travelers - Weary Mom (and Happy St. Patrick's Day!)

I've been home alone for the past few days, holding down the fort, while the rest of my bunch have been out having Spring Break fun.

I didn't begrudge them heading out for fun and adventure while I had to work - I take an annual Fall Break, an escape to the coast with girlfriends. And besides, I looked forward to a few days with the house all to myself. I always have illusions of unlimited time when I'm left alone ... time to conquer huge projects around here, relax on the front porch, go for long, leisurely walks with my "sweet" puppies.

I'll get all of those lists organized, fill up my photo albums, scan all of my mom's photos, finish drafts 1 AND 2 of my book, print out three years worth of photos, transfer VHS tapes to DVD, clean out the storage room, sell a bunch of crap on Craig's List, sort through file cabinets, desks, drawers...

You get the idea. For some reason, I think it's these people I live with that keep me from accomplishing all of this, but every time they leave me alone, I remember... it's that work versus free time thing.

And instead of more free time, I had less, because Tom wasn't here cooking dinner for me or feeding the dogs at night or unloading the dishwasher. I still had a full day's work, my writing, all of my chores, plus his. 

Man, I missed him.

And then there were the gypsy dogs...

Dang dogs.

But my weary travelers have found their way back home, grungy and stinky from wonderful adventures.

Tom and Daniel went backpacking in Big Bend (they saw a cougar!) and TG joined friends for a few days on the Alabama coast...

...while I tracked down mischievous, misbehaving gypsy dogs.

Oh, I know. I can't really complain. For the second weekend in a row, I spent time with good friends, went shopping in Salado and topped it all off with a night of dancing.

Last weekend it was with Rae and my high school friends (Deer Park Divas.) This weekend my friend Nancy came to stay for two nights. She was my first friend in Lago, and one of those who fits so right with you that they become more than friends ... so much so that when she had to move just a few years later, we stayed close anyway... despite our difference of opinion on school sports.

Friday evening was just playing catch-up over pinot noir and veggie quesadillas. Saturday was a road trip to Salado. Nancy's currently a middle school theater teacher (she has taught everything!) and was on a quest for props. We hit a few wonderful gift shops, but nothing within our budget. We kept searching and finally, on the highway, we hit gold: a flea market! She and I both walked away with treasure.

Hers was for her play; mine... well, I wasn't sure what I'd do with this vintage overnight case at first, but that didn't stop me. Now I've decided I'll use it on my desk... somehow. I'm sure it'll be great ... for something...

I snatched up this souvenir plate for two reasons: first, I collect vintage Texas souvenir plates; second, my grandmother grew up in Mexia (she pronounced it "Ma-hair".) So of course I couldn't pass up this gem. It'll just hang on a wall somewhere. I don't even try to fool myself that it can be useful in any way.

After our junking expedition, we cleaned ourselves up and headed back out to a 60th birthday party for our friend Cheryl's husband. I don't have a photo of Brian, but I do have this one of Cheryl, Mary Kay, me, Conni and Nancy .

Nancy and I skipped out early to meet our friend Rachel for a night of dancing - back to Graham Central Station where I celebrated my 50th birthday almost two years ago by dancing in a cage.

Of course, I made a bee-line for those cages and pulled Nancy and Rachel up with me. They're not 50 yet, but they're old enough.

So I can't really complain about my family abandoning me. I think I've packed enough fun into the past two weekends to qualify for one Spring Break.

No wonder I'm so tired...

Oh, before I forget...

An Irish Prayer

May God give you...
For every storm, a rainbow,
For every tear, a smile,
For every care, a promise,
And a blessing in each trial.
For every problem life sends,
A faithful friend to share,
For every sigh, a sweet song,
And an answer for each prayer. 

 

 

March Winds and Loose Ends

The March wind is up early this morning, rushing through the Hollow, as if it were cleaning house, preparing for April. 

And I feel like I'm a leaf caught up in the wind, spinning this way and that.

I'm not complaining. I'm just having a tough time finding the ground again. I'm feeling dizzy from the spin. So much is going on, so many undone things on my list (so many lists!), so much just under the surface on the verge of breaking out, announcing a new season.

I guess in a way, I'm trying to be like the March wind, busy, busy, busy, trying to sweep and clean up the old leaves, and yet keep everything else moving along.

Other people have much more on their plates than I do and seem to accomplish so much more without getting overwhelmed. I'm beginning to realize I have a pretty small plate. I'm just having a tough time accepting that fact.

So anyway ... here I am on a Saturday morning with a long drive ahead of me, and what happens? My eyes pop open after just a few hours of sleep, my brain clicks on, and I had no choice (after an hour like that) but to get up and get moving.

I spent a wonderful day yesterday with a friend, away from computers and lists, and capped it off by joining more friends for dinner outside at Steiner Ranch Steakhouse, dancing and listening to the music of Drew Womack. Usually a day like that will affect me like a deep breath, a relaxing sigh, but as wonderful as it was, this time that relaxed feeling didn't last very long. My brain keeps zooming to places in the future or dwelling on other issues I have no control over, or just focusing too much on those damn lists that keep growing longer instead of shorter.

I'm trying to take all of my own advice about letting go, focusing on the moment, counting my blessings ... and it does help. For a bit.

I know I'm not the only one feeling whisked too fast by this March wind - I glanced at Facebook this morning and saw this post by a friend ... a reminder of how to find shelter from the wind (thanks, Doug!) ...

For a moment I felt overwhelmed! Another weekend. Kids with MANY places to go. Soccer game, track, church event, back to High School, back to church event, Sunday Church, meeting friends, worrying... I felt a touch that gently reminded me just how blessed I am to be busy, with a wonderful family! Thanks Lord!

As I step back into this day, I'll do my best to stay on the ground, stay in the moment, and not allow the winds to sweep me completely away.

Some good news about Max and Belle, though - they've either stopped their wandering ways (or learned to be more sneaky about it.) Miss Ginger hasn't called in three days now!

I'm so glad because I do love those goofy dogs!

Hope you have a wonderful weekend - don't let the March winds sweep you away!