Long Hollow

Flowers for Leontien (and other Sweet!s)

June 3 will mark the 4th anniversary of my first blog post.

I started blogging because, as I write in my "About" section up above...

"Diaries, letters, and scrapbooks became journals, writing classes and essays became Long Hollow (and a few fictional works in progress...) 

But come to find out, what started as an outlet for my journaling and writing needs also satisfied this desire inside of me to connect with people. I was the kind of kid who wrote letters to everyone I knew and wanted tons of pen pals all around the world.

Blogging has given that to me.

Through my blogs... this one and my photography blog... I've met people I probably would never have connected with otherwise.

Just to name a few, there's the  Methodist minister in South Africa. The anesthesiologist/playwright in California. And the transplanted Wisconsonian photographer/artist/animal lover living near Dallas named TexWis Girl.

Earlier this week, I received an email from TexWisGirl letting me know about a surprise blog event called Flowers for Leontien, scheduled for today at 8 am, in honor of fellow blogger, Leontien Vandelaar of Four Leaf Clover Dairy.

I actually don't know Leontien, but she is battling cancer, and other bloggers who do know her felt our support and participation in this event would show her that her blogging community is there for her -- by posting a flower photo with {{hugs}} as the message to Leontien on our blogs today and linking to the "Flowers for Leontien" post on A Rural Journal.

By coordinating our posts, TexWisGirl and others hope to demonstrate how much the blogging community cares for Leontien and is thinking of her at this difficult time. A big beautiful virtual bouquet delivered right to her computer.

As I said, I don't know Leontien, but it moves me that these other bloggers are doing what they can to support their friend, and reaching out to others to gather as much support as possible.

So Leontien, this Texas flower is for you with lots of {{hugs}}. 

I'll keep you in my prayers, for strength and peace and healing. I'm grateful for this blogging community that connected us.

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What a coincidence that the BlogHer Life Well Lived question this week is: How does blogging, journaling, writing and connecting online help to increase your happiness?

I think I just answered that question.

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And now for a few other Sweet!s of my week.. 

Sunday: talking to all three kids in the same day; your mom calling to make sure you're okay; a call from your husband

Monday:a butterfly landing on your shoe; progress on your book for the first time in a few weeks; a blog friend using your photo in his post 

Tuesday: dinner with 2/3 of your kids; payday for one of your jobs; veggie omelettes; a porch swing at night, with a view of the crescent moon

Wednesday: free home grown onions sitting in a basket at your veterinary clinic when you go to pick up your expensive dog food; fortune cookies that tell you what you want to hear; your mom calling to check on you; more progress on your book

Thursday: your sister thinking of you when she sees an exciting photography opportunity; finally getting your Easter decorations put away; editing photos on a new, fast computer; making arrangments for a fun summer vacation at the beach with family

Friday: being back in high school and not caring if anyone likes you; a hug from a friend, via her little girl; goofy dogs; salmon colored sunsets

Saturday: joining other bloggers to offer support and prayers to a fellow blogger

Share your Sweet!s with me! I love to hear them! I hope your next week is full to the brim with them!

...Toss your hat into the latest BlogHer Life Well Lived Sweepstakes for a chance to win an iPod Touch and a $50 iTunes gift certificate to go with it. Go to the Live Well Lived main page to see the other answers and add your own to the comments.

For proper disclosure...

A Celestial Evening (Celeste Krenz and Harley's Angels)

Friday night, Tom and I joined 38 other sets of ears in our friends' living room to listen to Celeste Krenz, an singer/songwriter we'd never heard of before, even though her amazing voice has been singing for audiences for a couple of decades.

Her songs are unique, yet familiar somehow... her voice lyrical, soothing, and angelic... even when she's singing "If I Had a Gun"... 

And nothing beats listening to music like that in the intimacy of a home concert.

These particular friends, Bob and Lisa, have hosted several concerts in their home, including the Shake Russell concert a few years ago that inspired us to have our own (because we couldn't make it to theirs!)

Two years ago Bob and Lisa decided to add a purpose beyond entertainment to the concerts. Each artist who performed in their home signed a a Venture V3 acoustic/electric guitar that was later auctioned off. Last year it went for $2000 in a live auction at the Flight Against Breast Cancer fundraiser.

The fundraiser benefited Harley's Angels, a non-profit organization comprised of a group of "women motorcycle enthusiasts dedicated to promoting breast cancer awareness, research and education." 

Bob, a motorcycle enthusiast himself, lost his sister Karen to breast cancer a few years ago. This is his way of celebrating her life and helping to fight the disease that took her life.

The Shake Russell Trio and Michael Hearne will be the featured performers again this year at the third annual Flight Against Breast Cancer fundraiser on September 29.

Celeste Krenz kicked off this year's concert series and fundraising: a portion of her CD sales went to Harley's Angels.

Susan Gibson plays in May. I'm not sure who else Bob has lined up this year, but I'm sure he'll gather some other great musician/artists. Last year's guitar was signed by Tavana, Chuck Cannon, Klaus Oglesby, Jeff Senour, Joe McGinnity, Shake Russell, Doug Floyd, Mike Roberts and Michael Hearne.

As you can tell, Bob isn't one of those people who sits around wishing other people would do something. He just does it.

Bob holds the guitar steady while Celeste signs her name.

Celeste with representatives of Harley's Angels.

 

Celeste with hosts, Bob and Lisa.

 

I just love this pic of Bob and my sweetie! They've been friends since their Coast Guard days. 

If you're interested in learning more about the Flight Against Breast Cancer concert series and auction, let me know and I'll be sure to keep you posted on the details.

What Electrifies You?

Author Gayle Brandeis posed that question on SheWrites last month. “What electrifies you? What gets your heart pumping? What takes your breath away? What makes the hair on your arms stand up on end?”

I answered...

Dancing, which I do as often as possible, even to the extent that I missed talking to a lot of people at my high school reunion because I couldn't leave the dance floor. Also playing my drums. I'm not any good. It will never make me any money so no matter how hard I try I can't justify the time I spend on them, but I play anyway, because playing them makes me feel alive. (But only when no one's around. Unless I've had a few drinks.)

And guess what? My answer was the Grand Prize Winner! What a sweet surprise when I saw my name in a SheWrites newsletter yesterday, especially since I had totally forgotten about it. I won a copy of Brandeis' The Book of Live Wires, along with a copy of her Bellwether-Prize winning novel, The Book of Dead Birds.

Yay! Books electrify me, too! (Also winning Grand Prizes and getting things for free!)

Something else that electrifies me is seeing my friends follow their dreams... and trying to help them along the way. Here are a couple who inspire me...

 

Walking the Walk

When I first met Jimmie Jackson, he was a tow-headed golf-loving teenager, rarely speaking up in the Confirmation class I taught. Now he's all grown up with a degree in Electronic Media, living in Nashville, and preparing for the experience of a lifetime: a solo 2,178 mile long journey along the Appalachian Trail, from Georgia to Maine.

Only Jimmie isn't just walking it... he's going to film a documentary as he goes, focusing on the spiritual aspect of the walk as much as the physical. "Why do people hike? What is the connection between being outdoors and leading a spiritual life?" He hopes to find the answers to those questions along the way.

Go to his website, Walking the Walk.org to find out more, and please consider making a small donation to help him see this dream come true. He really is a sweet kid (and I'm not just saying that because I was his Confirmation teacher!)

 photo from WalkingtheWalk.org

 

Indie Friendlie 

Indie Friendlie is my friend Byron Tully's 'baby'. With his beautiful wife, Darlene, and friend, Weathorford Bradley, he created this site to support and promote great filmmakers and great films, the ones without huge advertising budgets, the ones that get stomped on by the bullies with huge marketing campaigns, the ones left shivering in the cold outside of the theaters.

If you love independent film of any kind, go to the site and watch the clips from wonderful movies, documentaries and shorts they're spotlighting in their effort to give them "a voice, a face, an opportunity."

I've only watched one or two, but they were great. "Validation", a full length short, just made me smile and "The Inside Out Project" made me want to stand up, cheer and grab my camera.

Also, if you're a filmmaker, you can submit your own film to be showcased on Indie Friendlie. Click HERE for how-to's and guidelines.

Tully's a sweet kid, too, although I guess "kid" is a bit of a stretch since we went to high school together. He's also very, very funny.

(Full disclosure: Tully promised me one free margarita for every 1000 visitors his site receives from mine. So what are you waiting for? GO! And tell your friends to tell their friends!)

Oh, wait, before you go... What electrifies you? Share in the comments below...

 

God's Little People

The world is a much smaller place than it used to be for me, thanks to blogging. I've connected with amazing people in so many different countries.

Through one of them  - Joan at God's Little People - I've become aware of the overabundance of stray cats in Greece. Joan is devoted to rescuing them, and her stories and photos both break and warm my heart.

After many of her readers asked how they could help with her rescue efforts, she came up with a fundraising idea: 

I am delighted to introduce these quality cards made from a selection of my favorite images of the cats that I have rescued and I love the idea of them now being part of raising funds for themselves. These cards are now listed in my Etsy shop and ALL proceeds goes towards food, neutering and medical care for all the cats (and the dumpster cats I daily feed). Winter has set in and feral cats just keeps dropping into the garden and I've finally given up counting the numbers! But I now daily feed approximately 45 cats and as you can imagine the cost constantly rise and I won't compromise on the quality of food. Many of the cats that live in the wild desperately needs a proper food to keep them warm. 

You can donate/purchase in the following way:

One large blank card with a colored image mounted on carton (that enhances the colors in the image)for $5  or a set of three small blank cards with black/white images mounted on black carton (and a white paper slip inside for your message) for $10. 

Whether it's one large card or a small set of three cards - they all come with white envelopes and a label on the back with the  Pythagoras quote I use under my blog title: "We share with animals the privilege of having a soul." Cards and envelopes are neatly tied with a burlap string and carefully wrapped in tissue paper. 

 

Visit Joan's Etsy Shop HERE and read more about Joan and her cats (including precious images of them) HERE.

(I'm not compensated for this post in any way except for the good feeling of potentially helping Joan help those sweet kittens.)

"The Best Laid Schemes..." (What happened to Monday and Tuesday?)

According to my calendar, I'm in Galveston right now, visiting my friend Ann, finally getting to see the cute little Victorian house she's fixing up and browsing through some wonderful eclectic shops.

Things don't always go according to plan, though, do they?

Instead of strolling the tourist-free beaches and staying up late talking and laughing with my dear friend, I've spent the past two days glued to this old computer, spending hours and hours on projects that should have only taken half the time.

(I'm beginning to wonder if shoveling coal into it might make it go any faster. I don't think it could hurt!)

Ann's free days evaporated, too, anyway, complicated by family schedules. We're going to try again in the next month or two. Why are our lives still so complicated?

I'm grateful for the work that's keeping me glued to the computer, though. One is a photo shoot from a couple of weeks ago that forced me to learn Lightoom. I'm by no means an expert, but I've learned so much, thanks to tutorials and photography friends (thank you, Beth!) and learning something new is so much fun! (And frustrating. And agonizing.)

Unfortunately, one thing I've learned is that my E: drive on my computer has gone kaputz. Nothing like a few hurdles in your path to keep you on your toes, right?

The second project was a review for BlogHer with a quick turnaround, as in, I learned about it yesterday and the deadline was this morning. And I (pretty much) turned it in on time. Ahem.

It wasn't a typical product review... more of a personal essay on health and aging and menopause, so I was happy I was chosen for the project.

I can't believe it's already Wednesday, though. Here are a few highlights from the past few days...

 

My mother turned 80! Middle-son Daniel went with me for the celebration at my parents' house. I enjoy road trips with Daniel - he helps me find good radio stations and doesn't mind me singing along loudly, even when I don't really know the words. 

It was a quick visit with family, highlighted by fried Gulf shrimp, birthday cake, breakfast by Daddy, plenty of coffee, Mexican food, and my mother in a birthday sombrero... 

...which matches this one of my dad from last month...

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Oldest-son Tommy ran his first full marathon! If you knew all the nights I stayed up with him while he struggled to breathe with his asthma, you'd really understand how very proud I am! And how relieved I was that he crossed that line, safe and sound and breathing!

This photo was snapped by his sweetheart, Kirby. She completed her second half-marathon that day. 

Yay, Tommy and Kirby!

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I won a blog drawing!! This cute cup featuring a 'doodle' by Cyndee at Eloise's Collage arrived in my mailbox Friday. I love it! Thank you, Cyndee! 

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Remember the Thanksgiving Comes First campaign? Thanks to Suldog, I found out about a petition to "Tell Target to Save Thanksgiving". If you want to add your name, click HERE.

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It rained yesterday! I mean, really and truly rained!

Well, not enough to capture a photo of the actual rain, but I did get one this morning of a dew-covered wildflower...

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Last but not least, Hilary at the Smitten Image awarded me a Post of the Week for As if I were beside you... Thank you, Hilary!

(Click the icon below to go read the other POTW and see her wonderful photography.)

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I hope you're having a wonderful week, even if your plans went agley like mine!

(At least I wasn't left with "nought but grief an' pain"...)

 

...The best-laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft agley,
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
For promis'd joy!

~from To a Mouse by Robert Burnes

Dona Nobis Pacem (Blog Blast for Peace 2011)

There is no way to peace. Peace is the way.

~A.J. Muste
Dutch Reverend and Christian Pacifist, 20th century

 

(We owe it to them, don't you think?)

Dona Nobis Pacem

(Grant us Peace.)

Linking up with the 2011 Blog Blast for Peace. Will you join us?

 

Keeping First Things First

I've been in a quandary.

A few weeks ago I was approached by Shutterfly about a Christmas card promotion. I would get 50 free cards plus be able to offer three of my readers 25 free cards each.

I've always wanted to send out those beautiful photo Christmas cards, but instead, I went the frugal route by printing my own photos and tucking them into cheap, cheap cards. More recently, I've gone the newsletter route with a few photos included on the page.

...And then I tuck the whole thing into a cheap, cheap card.

By doing this promotion, I would finally have beautiful, professional photo cards! Of course I said YES!

When I received the email full of details, well, that's when I sunk into the quandary. They wanted me to post it this week. 

And I just couldn't do it.

You see, last year I joined my friend Suldog's "Thanksgiving Comes First" campaign, trying to urge businesses to hold off marketing Christmas until after Thanksgiving.

Oh, believe me, I tried to figure out a way around it so I could get some of those pretty cards. I even started writing a post, but I just couldn't finish it. I mean, my gosh, forget Thanksgiving... we haven't even celebrated Halloween! Or All Saint's Day. Or Veteran's Day. It's just too early to think about Christmas cards.

Because this whole campaign isn't just about Thanksgiving. It's about time and seasons and silence and space and simplifying.  It's about focusing on one thing at a time and giving it all you've got, everything it deserves. It's about truly experiencing a season, thinking about what it means and being in the moment, not rushing ahead. 

If you feel there's not time to prepare for Christmas if you wait until after Thanksgiving, perhaps you're making it too complicated. Trying to do too much. 

Time goes by too fast as it is and life has gotten more and more complicated. I used this quote in a recent post, but it's appropriate here, too...

I’ve learned that we can do anything, but we can’t do everything… at least not at the same time. Timing is everything.

~Dan Millman 

Timing is everything. Let's take time to relish and focus. Let's slow down and simplify, take things one at a time. 

For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven... Eccleciastes 3:1

Suldog has some great ideas for how to get businesses on board with this. He pointed out that Nordstrom's has already emphasized they won't be filling the aisles with Christmas until after Thanksgiving. So I'm giving them a little shout-out here. (Yay, Nordstrom's!)

To their credit, Shutterfly's home page features Halloween items. But they were asking me to fill mine with Christmas.

One idea Suldog has is to offer merchants free advertizing on our blogs, so I'm going to follow his lead and offer any retailer a full-size ad, for one day, where my blog post usually goes, if the ad says you promise to not have Christmas merchandise on your sales floor prior to the day following Thanksgiving (and you uphold that promise!)

I'm going to borrow a portion of Suldog's post to illustrate why I think the "Thanksgiving Comes First" campaign is important. (He's talking about an episode of Mister Rogers...)

On one of his shows, Fred was explaining the concepts of noisy and quiet. In order to illustrate the difference, he took his television audience to see a musician friend of his.

Fred had the musician, a percussionist, play his many instruments. Some were very loud, while others were soft and gentle. Afterward, Mister Rogers looked into the camera and spoke. He said, "In music, the silences are just as important as the loud parts."

The silences are just as important as the loud parts.

That’s a very profound statement. It’s true, isn’t it? Without the silences, it’s all just noise. The silences – the pauses, the gaps, the unfilled spaces – are what give the notes their power and meaning. And when it comes to a holiday, the silences – the quiet times preceding (or even within) the holiday – are extremely important. They give the celebration its power and meaning. That’s why I care so deeply about this. We all need some silences. They’re just as important as the loud parts.

Amen, Suldog.

UPDATE! BREAKING NEWS!...

I just received an email from Shutterfly saying "We completely respect your stance. If you could try to get the post up by the first week of December, it would be much appreciated."

Yay! Thank you, Shutterfly! 

Love at First Bark

I start almost every morning with a walk down my dirt road with Belle and Max. Their joie de vivre is palpable. Contagious.

I'm addicted to these walks, to watching my "puppies" greet each new day with passion and energy and optimism. 

Max and Belle were both strays who wandered up to strange houses with a dog's pure faith they would be helped. At the time each of them entered our lives, I didn't think I wanted any more dogs. Too expensive, too constraining of our time, too much heartbreak when they die.

Now I give thanks every morning and several times during the day - well, anytime I look into those big brown eyes - that God brought these little black and brown angels into our lives. He knew just what we needed.

He always does. And Max and Belle remind me of that every day.

 

When I was young, the sight of a stray dog broke my heart. Molded by stories like "Black Beauty", "Old Yeller" and "Call of the Wild", where animals struggle to find a good home,  I dreamed that when I grew up, I'd own a ranch where I could take in every stray I found.

Well, I grew up. The cost for housing, food and medical issues alone for that dream to come true snapped me back to reality. It didn't help that I'm allergic to animals. I'd need a fortune just to buy all that Benadryl.

So you can see why I jumped at the chance to review ("read for free") Julie Klam's book Love at First Bark, for the BlogHer Book Club, especially when the subtitle read "How Saving a Dog Can Sometimes Help You Save Yourself".

I know how true that statement is, that dogs can help you save yourself...

Max came along just when my oldest headed off to college and the other two were close on his heels. Did you know that a goofy German Shepherd-Great Dane puppy is very similar to a 4-year-old? Max became my perpetual 4-year-old and eagerly accepted all the baby talk and (s)mothering attention my human kids had outgrown, making my transition to Empty Nest so much easier. 

Belle came along just in time to save Max, who was despondent after our old dog Charly's death. She revived the "puppy" in him. (Saving Max = saving me. Thank you, Belle!)

However, except for the first chapter where Julie describes how helping an abandoned pit bull essentially saved her marriage, the rest of the book just relates different dog rescues. It's a good book, peppered with Julie's humor, but it didn't grab me the way I thought it would. It felt passive and inconsistent, sort of rushed. 

What keeps it a "good" book in my opinion, and why I believe it's worth reading, is the well-deserved recognition it gives to unsung heroes around the country who are essentially living my dream of helping stray dogs, either through rescues or by adoption or foster care.

Before reading this, I didn't have a clue there were so many organizations (all understaffed and underfunded, of course) and individuals who go miles out of their way to help. Hearing the lengths they go to just to rescue one dog is inspiring. Kudos to Julie and all of the others who do this regularly, who think nothing of adding an incontinent dog to their already large collection of pooches or run through a swamp and duck under a train to help a stray with a jar stuck on its head.

So if you want information about dog rescues or rescuers, I recommend it. But if you're hoping for heartwarming, life-changing stories that send you scrambling for a box of tissue, look somewhere else... after you read the first chapter about Morris the Pit Bull, that is.

Full Disclosure: I was compensated for this BlogHer Book Club review but all opinions expressed are my own.

When you're down and troubled...

"...and you need a helping hand. And nothing, nothing is going right..."

 

"Close your eyes and think of me and soon I will be there..."

I covered for our church secretary yesterday afternoon so she could keep a doctor's appointment. It doesn't pay much, but sitting in her chair even for a short time I sense the pulse of our parish in a way that's impossible to feel from just attending weekly Mass and dropping a check or two in the offering plate.

In the two hours I sat there yesterday afternoon, two people approached our church for assistance. First, an elderly woman called, needing help with paying her rent. I gave her the number for our St. Vincent de Paul Society because that's what they do, help people in our parish with electric bills, rent, doctor's bills, you name it. If someone calls who isn't in our parish, they let them know where to turn.

Soon afterward, a young man stepped into the foyer, his face wearing a mixture of desperation, hope, gratitude, anxiety and relief. He had contacted SVP but missed the return call from our member and came up to the church, hoping to find her there. Even though I wasn't the person he sought, he thanked me and blessed me anyway, patting my arm in gratitude, tears edging the corners of his eyes.

"... to brighten up even your darkest night. You just call out my name and you know wherever I am, I'll come running to see you again. Winter, spring, summer or fall...all you have to do is call, and I'll be there. You've got a friend."

I didn't know the young man. I'm not sure if he's a member of our church or not - the St. Vincent de Paul Society does their best to help all in need regardless of their beliefs.

But I imagined him to be a young father trying to help his family, responsibility and love overcoming any feelings of shame he felt for having to ask for help. Or maybe he was a son, trying to get help for his elderly parents.

All I know is, before heading up to the church, I had to sit and pay some bills before late charges were tacked on and the gloom cast by our dwindling bank account still lingered in my heart knowing there were still more to pay today.

Yet witnessing the desperate hope and gratitude of this young man, I immediately gave thanks myself that, dwindling funds or not, at least I had money to pay them.  

 "If the sky above you grows dark and full of clouds and that old north wind begins to blow, keep your head together and call my name out loud. Soon, you'll hear me knocking at your door."

Then I remembered the twenty raffle tickets I shoved in my purse two weeks ago. Our parish's annual Oktoberfest is coming up on October 8 and the proceeds, including those from the raffle tickets, help fund our St. Vincent de Paul Society, as well as our other church organizations, like the Women's Guild that, among other things, provides school supplies for low-income families and Easter baskets for nursing home residents.

Despite good intentions to start peddling those raffle tickets right away, they're still right where I shoved them, buried in the bottom of my purse, along with forgotton pennies, crumpled gas receipts and those good intentions.

If I could, I would just buy them all myself, plus some, but I can't. I'll buy a couple, but starting today, with the old women's voice and the young man's face in my mind, I'm peddling the heck out of the rest of them to everyone I meet, starting with you.

I hope I sell so many I have to run up to the church for more!

So here's the deal. For a $10 ticket, you get a chance at 5 different prizes and you don't have to be present to win.

1st prize - $5000 gift card
2nd prize - Maid service for 1 year (or equivalent value gift card of $3000)
3rd prize - Apple iPad 2 (or equivalent value gift card of $800)
4th prize - American Girl Doll or Electric Scooter (estimated value $450)
5th prize - Weber Performance Charcoal Grill (or equivalent value gift card of $450)

I confess that in all the years I've been buying and selling these tickets, I've never won and neither have the people I've sold them to. But I keep hoping - that's what these tickets are all about, right? Giving hope?

If you're interested in buying one or two or twenty, e-mail me at barbarashallue (at) yahoo (dot) com and I'll let you know how to get your ticket or tickets. But whether or not you buy any, please say a prayer that enough money is raised to help all of those who will need it in the coming year. 

"Ain't it good to know you've got a friend when people can be so cold. They'll hurt you and desert you...and take your soul if you let them...oh, but don't you let them. You just call out my name, and you know wherever I am, I'll come running to see you again.

Winter, spring, summer or fall, all you have to do is call, and I'll be there.

You've got a friend."

~Carole King

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 This is actually Part 2 of a post from 2009, where I wrote "Even before the economy took its latest nose dive, thousands were laid off from their jobs, and the sun went on overtime, there were many among us who were already struggling." 

The need itself never ends, does it? Next year I'm sure I'll be writing a Part 3.

(click HERE to see the whole post.)

 

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Oktoberfest itself is a lot of small town fun (you know, a carnival for the children, a country store, silent auction, turkey legs, music, a German dinner, bingo) so if you're in the area, come on over!

Here are the details: 

Saturday October 8 from 8am to 7pm at St. Mary Our Lady of the Lake Catholic Church (6100 Lohman Ford Rd. Lago Vista, Texas, 78645.)

**** Admission is free, but full disclosure: our motive is to Raise Money! ***** 

Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

~ 1 John 4:11

 

 

Makin' a list and checkin' it twice...

List-mode -noun  A state of being wherein a moderately organized compulsive listmaker falls behind on things she needs to do, usually due to a weekend out of town with her girlfriends, and can't help but make more lists in a feeble attempt to get caught up without forgetting something important.

 

1. Sigh.

2. The weekend was totally worth it, though. Just hanging out with my girlfriends around the pool, sipping margaritas and talking, talking, talking would have made my current harried frenzy worth it, but my weekend journey had some other high spots in it as well.

3. If you're a blogger or on Facebook or FlickR or Twitter or some other social media I've never heard of, you've probably made lots of friends that, chances are, you'll never meet in person. Well, this weekend I got to meet one of those previously "virtual" friends, Debbie, who I connected with a few months ago on FlickR. On my way into Houston Friday, she met me for lunch.

4. It is so cool to see a person you've only known through words or photos sitting right there in front of you, face to face. We had a wonderful visit, but, of course, it was too short. 

5. We'll have to do it again, Debbie!!

6. My Diva weekend will get its own post (eventually!) but I want to mention one thing about it now because I think it's such a great idea.

7. We celebrated Leslie's birthday on Saturday, but instead of presents, she requested bags of dog and cat food that she could donate to an animal shelter. Isn't that a great idea?

8. You rock, Leslie!! 

9. (Here she is between her goddaughter, Georgie, and our sweet animal-loving hostess Rae, who took the food to her local shelter.)

 

10. Sunday I spent several hours with my parents before heading home, and for close to four of those hours I listened to - and recorded - my parents' stories and memories.

11. I'm convinced there's no better heirloom or legacy, and can't wait to go back to capture more of that treasure. 

12. Doesn't Daddy look cute in his suspenders? 

13. Do you remember me telling you I'm part of the BlogHer Book Club? Well, my latest book review was published today on BlogHer, about Sarah Dessen's What Happened to Goodbye? Click HERE to read my full review.  

14. Guess what? I'm a finalist in Jillsy Girl's June Water Challenge! Voting continues until June 29th so go HERE to vote! (Don't feel you have to vote for me - click on each of the entries and pick whichever one you like.)

15. Some people truly amaze me, and Gina Calvert is one of those people, constantly spreading herself thin to help someone else. Her latest venture is for Girls on the Run, a non-profit prevention program that helps preteen girls develop self-respect and health lifestyles through running.

16. Gina, who isn't a runner yet, plans to run a 5K in just a few months to raise money for the program. (I should mention at this point that Gina is 51!)

17.Please click HERE to read more about Girls on the Run. (Even if you don't think you can or will donate, you should read Gina's post about it. She's a wonderful writer!) 

18. Whew! I think that's enough for tonight...

19. Thank you.

Spring Fever Frenzy and Sweet! #1

Frenzy is my word of the week, (where's my copy of Pearl Jam's song Just Breathe?) so please forgive me if this post seems a little harried and unorganized. If it jumps around a bit, it's just a reflection of my life right now, hopscotching from one project to the next in haphazard order.

Tom and I have two Major Events coming up this month - another Shake Russell home concert and Daniel's graduation - just the kind of matches we need to light fires under our butts and get us moving on projects we should have tackled months ago.

Why, oh why do we procrastinate?

You would be amazed by how much Tom and I can ignore around our house - he always has half a dozen projects in various stages going on simultaneously and after almost 30 years together, I've learned to ignore random tools and pieces of equipment left lying in odd places. 

One reason I ignore it all is because, if he dares say anything about my own piles of unorganized junk or projects-in-progress, I have ammunition. We've learned to be very accepting of each other's idiosyncrasies.

When Major Events appear on the calendar, though, that helps us see our home from a visitor's point of view and YIKES, our priorities shift. I haven't even gotten to the 'cleaning' part - for some reason, I've got it in my head I need to sort through boxes, clean up my office-to-be, my closet, cabinets... 

It's not that I think anyone will care, but I have to use this rare fever while I have it.

So, what I didn't do this past weekend: 

• Work on my book.
• Dance, play ping-pong or my drums.
• Load Photoshop Elements on my computer. (I'm hesitating because, from experience with my computer, I know it won't be as easy as clicking a few buttons. I need a chunk of time to work on this.)
• Finalize the name for my new venture. If I get any chunks of time, this is what I've been spending them on. Even though I work for a naming company, I had no idea it would take me this long to pick one. I'm really afraid I'm overthinking it. I've narrowed it down to three, though, and now have to figure out how to register it. There are so many things involved in starting a business - yikes!
• Attend my friend Jacque's college graduation Saturday morning. I fully intended to - I got up early, showered, dressed and was ready to head out the door, but stopped to double check directions to where I thought it was being held Turns out, it was on a totally different highway than she told me in her graduation-eve excitement, much farther than I realized. I should have googled it the night before and gotten up earlier. There was no way I could make it there in time.

What I did accomplish, outside of the normal routine:

• Unloaded a ton of stuff at Goodwill. I was going to stop after the graduation ceremony, anyway. Tom and I had already loaded up my car with bags and boxes of things to donate.
• Treated myself to a pedicure and manicure. Unusual for someone in a frenzy, I know, but the salon is next door to Goodwill. I'm 52, but I can count the number of pedicures I've had in my life on one hand - I think this was number 5 - and this was only the second manicure I've ever had. The other one was part of a spa day gift from Tom in honor of my 30th birthday. (What is wrong with me?)
• Promised myself I won't wait another year for a pedicure, or another 22 years for a manicure.
• Made a few baby steps of progress on starting my business. No, I didn't finalize the name, but I made progress. That's what I have to focus on.
• Sorted through several boxes of stuff and weeded out more stuff to give away. I'm a hoarder collector, but I'm started to have pity on my kids when they have to go through my things later. (Of course, if Tom's still around, it'll be easy on them. He'll just dump it all or burn it.)
• Paid bills and made a dent in the laundry. (No explanation needed here - these things never wait patiently.) 

Tom spent most of Saturday on a Habitat-for-Humanity type project. It's not HFH, but a similar program his company partners with a few times a year. He loves using his carpentry skills to help people.

On his way home he picked up a new (to us) elliptical trainer and stationary bike he found on Craig's List. We have our own little gym again, for less than the cost of a gym membership. Yay, Tom! 

He's putting his Craig's List truck to good use!

On the Today Show this week, I found out about something that apparently everyone else already knows about - 1000 Awesome Things.

How did I miss this? Especially as a blogger? (If you, like me, have had your head in the ground lately and haven't heard about this, click on that link above and take a look - but then come back!)

Actually, what I want to know, is why didn't I think of this myself?

Even though I didn't, I'm going to blatantly steal borrow Neil Pasricha's premise and start looking on the bright side of things every day. Considering my current frenzied state, I think it will do me some good.

I also want to set a good example for my kids and prove to them that no matter how bad things get in a day, it's possible to find one little "sweet!" moment. I honestly believe that.

I apologize in advance because this means I might have two posts in a single day right here on Long Hollow, plus another one on Confessions. I forgive you if you don't always read them or comment, but I would like to hear about your "sweet!" moments too, if you have the time to share them. From here on out, I'll write them as separate posts and keep them in the Sweet! category so I can go back and remember little rays of sunshine on those dark days.

 So here we go with Sweet #1 (drumroll please)...

... Getting an email from my son just to say he loves me - and to tell me he has no cavities. When your grown children take charge of their lives, it can be so hard to let go, especially in those health care areas. After years of intensive, organized, methodical mothering and worrying over their health - doctor and dentist check-ups, prescriptions, etc. - you watch them fly out of the nest to other regions with unknown doctors and dentists and you can only pray they continue to take care of themselves. 

It took the suspicion of a cavity, but he did it. Sweet!

 

 

 

In Silence

I stepped out this morning to a world washed by a silent rain. It surprised me, seeing the puddles on the porch and the drops glistening in the trees. I hadn't expected it to rain last night, didn't hear it tapping on our metal roof.

How much more surprised the people of Japan must have been when the earthquake shook their world and the tsunami silently followed...

Images from a video posted on Facebook that reveals the incredible power of the tsunami keep flashing in my mind. Click on the link HERE - it lasts about 6 minutes, but be sure to watch it until the very end. (I hope you can see it. You might need to be signed into Facebook.)

The man who posted it lives in Japan and has started a Facebook page where he continues to post information. Click HERE to see his page. 

Huffington Post published an article listing ways to help the victims (click HERE) and Austin's own SXSW created a website in collaboration with the American Red Cross. Click HERE to check it out. (SXSW, or South by Southwest, is a music, film, interactive festival going on here right now.)

If nothing else, please join me in continuing to pray for the country of Japan and all of its people. 

 

Thanksgiving Comes First (p.s. peace)

On my way out of the local drugstore yesterday afternoon, unable to resist a big CLEARANCE sign, I paused beside the aisle of Halloween merchandise, before remembering (duh!) I don't decorate anymore. 

That's when I spotted something green and red in the corner of my eye. No...it couldn't be. Not yet! I allowed myself one glance, and yes, sure enough, it was a shelf full of Christmas, impatiently waiting for Halloween to get the heck out of the way. 

But where was Thanksgiving?

Perhaps it was there, somewhere...probably in the form of two or three ceramic turkeys allotted a few inches of shelf space.

In a dark corner.

But I didn't stay to search for it. I could feel a scowl coming on, and I hate to react that way to Christmas.

People! It's just November, for crying out loud! 

Besides seeing it on my calendar, I know it's just November because the world is still in color. On my walk this morning, I watched the hollow come alive in pinks and golds under a crisp blue sky. The leaves are still gripping the trees, many just now changing from green to autumn gold, orange, yellow, purple...

Even the weather can't make up its mind - yesterday was gray, warm, humid. Today is sunshine and cool again...just cool enough for sweat pants and a light jacket...not my insulated jacket, hat and gloves I'll be pulling on in a few weeks for these early walks.

Can we please finish out this season? Give it its due respect? I want to relish autumn - my favorite season - a little while longer.  I have birthdays to celebrate, including my mother's, and then, of course, there's Thanksgiving.

Don't you think it's time to protest this brushing over of Thanksgiving? For one thing, if Christmas carries on too long, I worry about it losing its significance, becoming just one long shopping season.

I'm a Christian, so obviously the cheapening and over-commercialization of Christmas concerns me, but I would think even non-Christians would get tired of having it thrown in their faces for months. 

I love Christmas, but I'm not ready for green and red. (We don't need green and red when we still have oranges, yellows and purples.) But I do love the hokey-ness of Christmas, the nostalgic feel to it. I love Christmas music, Christmas movies, baking cookies, decorating the tree, wrapping gifts, hanging stockings, sending out cards (and receiving them!). It's for these very reasons that I don't want it to start until after Thanksgiving. Let's keep it special. Simple.

Besides, I don't like having to dust my snowmen collection or the Nativity scene. If you have to dust it, it's been out too long.

The truth is, retailers just don't make any money from Thanksgiving, but the potential from Christmas is outrageous. No wonder they want to get it started earlier and earlier.

It's up to us to put on the brakes. Anyone with me?

If you're a blogger, consider spreading the protest on your site. If you're a consumer...write letters or simply refuse to give in to the marketing monster until after Thanksgiving.

This post was triggered by a protest from blogger Suldog. Click HERE to read his where he makes several good points. One that really struck me was something he saw on an episode of Mr. Rogers. This is what Suldog wrote:

On one of his shows, he was explaining the concepts of noisy and quiet. In order to illustrate the difference, he took his television audience to see a musician friend of his.

Fred had the musician, a percussionist, play his many instruments. Some were very loud, while others were soft and gentle. Afterward, Mister Rogers looked into the camera and spoke. He said, "In music, the silences are just as important as the loud parts."

The silences are just as important as the loud parts.

That’s a very profound statement. It’s true, isn’t it? Without the silences, it’s all just noise. The silences – the pauses, the gaps, the unfilled spaces – are what give the notes their power and meaning. And when it comes to a holiday, the silences – the quiet times preceding (or even within) the holiday – are extremely important. They give the celebration its power and meaning. That’s why I care so deeply about this. We all need some silences. They’re just as important as the loud parts.

Thanksgiving is a silence we need. A time to ponder and reflect and be still for just a bit. To remember the good things in our lives instead of focusing on the negative.

In honor of Thanksgiving, at the end of each post this month, I'm going to share a few things I'm grateful for. I thought of these this morning on my walk...

Today I'm grateful Tom wasn't involved in the accident along his route to work that I heard about on the news ...I'm grateful my friend Randy was reunited with his lost dog Chuck...I'm grateful I live in a country where I am free, where I can vote...

...which is what I did this evening. I sure hope you voted, too!

P.S. Thursday, November 4, is a special day. Bloggers around the world will join together for a Blog Blast for Peace.

This will be my first year to participate (thanks to Jillsy for the heads up!) and I'm already feeling the energy. Please join me by blogging (click HERE to find out more about Blog Blast for Peace) or by just taking a few minutes that day to wish for peace, or...whatever you can think of that might promote peace. (On Thursday, leave me a comment and let me know what you did.) 

What a weekend! Where do I start?

I think I'll start with today, a Monday which has redeemed all prior Mondays in my eyes (even though it's not technically part of the weekend) and move backwards for a change. 

No, I didn't win the lottery or anything. We're still as broke as ever.. monetarily, anyway. And no, I didn't get another Monday off from work. But this has been a really, really good day.

I think part of it is I've taken John Lubbock's advice on priorities to heart and it's working! I haven't become super-productive or anything, but I've noticed a subtle change in my attitude, more purpose to my actions now. And attitude and actions are what count, right?

I couldn't help but have a good attitude after this: yesterday I posted on Facebook that I still had raffle tickets available for my church's Oktoberfest with a link to a post from last year about our St. Vincent de Paul Society, one of the beneficiaries of the raffle ticket proceeds (click here to read that post.) Right away I had responses from friends wanting to buy tickets... including one who wants to buy 100 - yes, you read it right - 100 tickets!

I can't do much myself monetarily to help St. Vincent de Paul, so that request made me sprout wings; I've been soaring like one of my jewel-colored dragonflies all day, knowing that my request initiated a response like that.

See? It never hurts to ask!

Now to Sunday... that's when I really took John's advice. I slept late because of a late Saturday night. I knew I'd regret it if I didn't. I went to Mass, not just because I knew I'd regret it if I didn't, but it's true I would. I tackled the laundry pile, the desk pile, the promises-I-made-to-other-people pile. I posted that request on Facebook. 

I took time to think about my Grandmother Annie B. - yesterday would have been her 104th birthday.

We took time to call Tom's brother Steve, the Montana brother, who I believe turned 52.

I worked and worked and worked on my book, even opting out of a walk with Tom and the puppies, knowing when it was all said and done, I would regret not working on the book more than not going on a walk.

Even when Tom came running in telling me about a huge spider down near the pond, I let him run back out alone with the camera. I admit I was a little sorry I didn't take this:

(I finally asked Mr. Google what it was - it's just a female Yellow Garden Spider. Such a plain-Jane name for something this splashy, don't you think?)

After working on my book, I played with my photos from Saturday... lots and lots of photos because it was our annual University of Texas Longhorn Football Game, courtesy of our generous friends, Saint Mary Kay and Saint Joe. We can't afford tickets ourselves, but thanks to MK and Joe, we get the full Longhorn experience once a year. (They share the love with other friends on the other game days.)

We started out the game tailgating in their son's apartment, part of a wonderful old duplex on a dead-end road near a creek, just blocks from campus! I love those old houses.

Hanging out, wishing we were college students instead of paying for our kids to go there... MK, Peggy, Jeff and Tom...

After stuffing ourselves on BBQ and fresh fruit, we walked those few blocks to the music hall, where we snagged some photos with MK and Joe's son, a member of the Big Bertha team... 

...and then on to the stadium...

MK and our bunch in our corner.. Jeff and Peggy, both UT grads but this was their first game! MK and Don, one of her first bosses. He's recovering from cancer; this game marked his 50th consecutive UT Longhorn opening home game - his doctors didn't think he'd make it to this one so soon after surgery, but he was determined. Where there's a will, there's a way, right?

We proceeded to watch the UT band and Big Bertha team (once a band mom, always a band mom)...

...and, oh yeah, the Longhorns kicked Wyoming's rear end. I actually did watch the game and took lots and lots of photos, of course, including some of actual football players. You can see the rest here, at Confessions of a Photography Addict.

Now on to Saturday morning... 

Another turtle! Belle discovered this one, but she didn't hurt it, thank goodness, just dug it up and brought it up to the porch. I traded it for a dog treat and put it in the bathtub until we could carry it down to the creek. It didn't seem very appreciative at all, even after Tom stepped ankle deep in mud to release him!

Turtles are awful grumps, aren't they?

I can't remember what else I did that morning, but I do know I took care of a lot of stuff I'd regret if I didn't!

I do remember that I slept late, because, once again, we were up late Friday night. We introduced some friends to the Hootenanny! There weren't as many musicians this time, but the music under the trees was still magical.

Keeping John Lubbock's advice in mind, I said 'yes' when Jim asked me to play the cajon box drum. I'd never played it before, had no idea how to play it, but I did it anyway, because I knew I'd regret it if I passed up the chance. 

Here's Eric on it later. I paid attention so I'd know what to do next time.

Oh, you see the photographer there next to Eric? That's Bruce Coville, one amazing photographer. Take a look at some of his Hootenanny shots here.

 

When you're around someone who is so much better than you are, you can either slink away, or you can take advantage of their presence to improve. I felt a bit intimidated, photography-wise, with Bruce and his muscle-camera's presence, but keeping John's advice in my head, I decided to take impromptu photography lessons that night, instead of slinking away. 

While I was at it, I took belly-dancing lessons from Liane, too. (no pictures!) Drums, photography and belly-dancing under the stars! Now that's a Friday night!

I didn't take many photos that night, but here are a couple I like of Triana and Robert Castaneda, married musicians extraordinaire... one 'normal' photo and one 'artsy' (in other words, no flash)... I think you get a sense of Robert's energy in both of them. That man can play the flute!

Now that's a weekend! How was yours?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friday Favorite (s) - Home

My favorite frozen moments of this past week are these from a twilight walk down our road with Tom and the puppies last weekend.

 They aren't perfect photographs, but I chose them because they help me remember why we fell in love with Long Hollow.  

They remind me why all of the back-breaking work, the blood, sweet and tears, the years of our lives, the thousands of dollars we've invested in building this home that blends into its surroundings, that doesn't disturb the spirit of the Hollow, has been worth it. 

They remind me that the Hollow is our home and it's up to us to protect it.

     

While I was on vacation...

Just as I suspected, I spent several hours catching up on e-mails last night. (Or trying to, at least. I was behind before I even left for vacation last week.)

Two of them really stood out - enough that I decided to share them here, before I start boring everyone with vacation pictures and stories.

The first was from my friend Jeannie (Spanish teacher turned Honduran missionary)... her latest newsletter. I intended to create a page for all of her newsletters, but just haven't gotten around to it yet. Nevertheless, please take the time to read it here: Download Jeannie's July 2010 newsletter. The work she is doing, and witnessing others doing, is amazing and inspiring. 

The second was from a friend whose sister-in-law, a neonatal nurse named Lorna Scott, has been nominated to be Mitchum's Hardest Working Person in America. He included a short video about her, inviting us to vote for her. I'm including the video here, but invite you to go here and vote for her by clicking the 'thumbs up' symbol under the video. (I can't imagine taking care of babies this small! What a blessing to them and to their parents that Lorna can and does.)

Loose Ends, Apologies and Clarifications

I owe my kids an apology. I implied in XOXO Nina Barbara that they were slackers in the Mother's Day department. I didn't intend to, but nonetheless, reading back over it now, I understand why my sweet Tommy slipped a pressed flower into the card he sent me with a note explaining "I couldn't let Nicole out-do me, so here's a flower."

It's a pretty little flower, but the gesture was totally unnecessary; he, Daniel and the Girl chipped in for something I've been yearning for ... another pair of Chaco sandals. I splurged on a pair in Gruene two years ago (our anniversary served as the excuse that time) and have practically worn them out. Chaco Flips don't look like anything special, but they fit and support these old aching feet of mine perfectly ... and match my wardrobe! If you have plantar fasciitis, you need to try a pair. Trust me.

Thank you, sweet kids!

I also felt, after writing yesterday's post  about the hospital time warp, that I should mention all of the wonderful caretakers we met there ... the nurse who scrounged up a pair of scrubs pants to make my dear one more comfortable ... the emergency room doctor who thought outside the box when test results weren't fitting together ... the admitting surgeon who did all he could to avoid surgery, covered all the bases and seemed reluctant to let us go without knowing for sure what it was ... the "mother nurse" who came by to visit, to answer questions and put my dear one at ease about the potential surgery and ended up inspiring both of us with her story: she suffered a stroke several years ago - wasn't supposed to even be able to walk again - and decided life was too short to not go after a passion. She took a class in making jewelry and started a business.  Scrambling for a name for her new business, the perfect one hit her: MySCAL (My Second Chance at Life). She wore an example - a beautiful fused glass pin. 

Some other loose ends ...

*At the Texas Music Awards in Marshall last weekend the Shake Russell Trio won Vocal Group of the Year. I still believe Shake should have also won Entertainer of the Year, but I'm happy the group was at least recognized. Click here to see all of the recipients.

*My sister sent me this link about Guinea Fowl after my last post about Frankie and his strange behavior. If you're a Frankie fan, you should read it. It turns out, they mate for life and can die of broken hearts. Poor Frankie.

*Don't forget BlogHer has these fantastic give-aways where, just by commenting on a post, you're entered into a random drawing for hundreds of dollars in gift cards. I have one on my reviews/contest blog right now! Click here and tell me who in your life is the yin to your yang for a chance at a $100 Visa gift card. The contest ends June 3.

*As if taking care of my family, working, blogging, writing a book and practicing my drums weren't enough to fill my spare time, I've joined a Flickr group - "The Blog Camp 365 in 2010 Project."

What that means is I'm taking photographs, playing around with the editing, and uploading one to the group page every day. Oh, and I'm looking at everyone else's photos, commenting on them and learning tons and tons about photography while I'm at it. I'm trying to figure out how to add a link to my "One-A-Days" on this blog, but for some reason, I just haven't had time to do it yet. Keep an eye out for it, but in the meantime, I'll just post a few of mine here ... 

  

 

*The latest edition of my missionary friend Jeannie's newsletter arrived this week. In it she writes "...without electricity I eat cold food, take cold showers, have no internet or TV - in short, nothing in my house works but my cell phone, which I keep charged up, just in case. I also shower at night if I have electricity, to avoid a possible cold shower in the morning if there's no power. I've learned to do things at a slower pace and to adjust to a life with uncertainty." She goes on to say "... we're in what's called a false winter here. That means the weather is acting like the rainy season, even though it's a month early. Farmers have to decide whether to plant now or at the traditional time. They're both risky, but they have to make a decision. Many are out of food provisions for the year and an early start means they will have food sooner, if the rain keeps on. If it doesn't, the newly sprouted corn will dry up and die and they will lose this year's crop..."

I've tried getting her to convert her newsletter into a blog format, but she has too many she needs to mail it to. Plus, she's kinda busy ... So I'm trying to figure out a way to post her newsletter on my blog, just to help get the word out about her work. Keep an eye out for it, too!

*And last but not least, I spotted this on the news this week - a 94-year-old woman earned her college degree. That means there's still hope for me!

     

too much, too much, just too dang much...

I'm whooped. Overwhelmed. Plumb tuckered out, chopped up, and stir-fried.

Kids, dog, future dog, bird, house, land, job(s), writing, projects, money, me, husband, parents, siblings and kids, cousins, friends, etc....plus the maintenance and upkeep of every single one (this includes phone calls, emails, prayers, and just plain remembering...)

It's all spinning, spinning, spinning in my head. I watch the clock all day, watch the minutes fly out of my reach. I run out of time before I even get started. 

I have tried to simplify. To streamline. And yet there are still too many lists, too many knots to untangle, too much to file away in this little overcrowded brain. 

I'm stretched, pulled. I've lost my shape. Who am I? What am I?

Time to re-focus. Again. Time to take inventory, to weed out, to divide and conquer. 

Untouchables include: 

• Morning walks (I need fresh air, I need to breathe. I need a chunk of time with God, time for prayer, time with the critters.) 
• Work-outs (I need to take care of myself...others depend on me. I need stamina and strength. Oxygen.)
• My job (I need to pay bills, to try to get "coming in" ahead of "going out".)
• Writing (My pressure relief valve, an outlet, a goal.)
• Contact with Friends and Family, preferably in-person but virtual works in a pinch. (Does this need explaining?)
• Sleep (Sleep is glue; without enough, everything else crumbles around me.)

On the back-up list...my drums, photography, a degree. All pieces of my dream. Pieces of me. Drums and photography give more than they take - the handful of minutes each requires per day provides a heart full of joy - while the degree...well, that's a demanding piece of the dream that I just can't afford, time- or money-wise, right now.  Reading and genealogy...things that used to come first when asked to list my hobbies...sit neatly folded on a shelf, gathering dust, waiting on a special occasion (time).

I gave away my collection of volunteer hats a while back, all except one, our church planning committee. A very non-demanding position, and one close to my heart. But now I've added another, and I'm not sure it fits.

I admit it...part of me misses all of those hats. That was "Me" for such a long time...sitting on boards and committees, helping kids, helping things get started. I thrived on the selflessness and that sense of accomplishment.  It's addictive.

I remember the year I was the elementary school librarian (my favorite job ever)...reading to the kids, teaching them to love books, mending the books, buying more books, being surrounded by words, stories, books...but barely paid minimum wage because I was just classified an 'aide' even though I was 'it' at the elementary. The Librarian. 

I discovered that whenever I felt disgruntled about my pay, when that gray mantle was settling down and obscuring the joy of my work, I just had to think of myself as a paid Volunteer and POOF! the mantle was ripped aside and all I felt was joy once again.

I guess that's why I agreed to try on this new hat. Committed names were needed to get a nonprofit started, and I do believe it's a good, worthy cause. And the person who asked me is a dear friend. It's her passion and I wanted to help. But I realize it's not my passion. 

I had forgotten Thomas Merton's words... 

"To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything...destroys the fruitfulness of our own work, because it kills the root of inner wisdom which makes work fruitful."

Tonight I've been going back and forth on what to do with the new hat. Now I know... maybe one day it'll fit, but for now, I need to give it back.

Finding the Dream Within a Nightmare

It's Father's Day morning, 2009, and he rises early, happy, eager to spend the day with his three kids. His oldest son, now a young adult, is asleep on the couch downstairs; he spent the night just so he could attend church with his Dad. 

The man goes downstairs to wake his son...seconds later he feels the shattering of his heart, instead. His firstborn, his namesake, is lying before him, lifeless.

Fast forward a few months...months filled with tears, with trying to piece together those zillion heart fragments, with a mind full of "what-if"s and "if-only"s and "why?"s: The dying economy has no sympathy for a man in mourning - he is informed his job is being dissolved - he can take a "package" or apply for another position within the company.

His head spins - he isn't sure what to do. He has worked for this company his entire adult life, had expected to work for them until he retired. But the new position would take him farther away from his two children still hurting from the loss of their big brother.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

He remembers something. A little dream that has flitted back and forth through his consciousness for several years. He thinks of his son's battle with drugs, of other kids he knows who have died and of the ones who are still fighting for their lives against the seduction of those pills. He wants to make a difference. He wants to help. If he can do something to save even one kid's life, it would mean his son didn't die in vain.

Resilience: an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.

And that's the story of my friend Randy's journey ....steps filled with heartbreak that he followed with faith off of a ledge, leaving behind the familiar, the comfortable... to a new job at Youth Reach, a nonprofit organization determined to help youth and young adults who are far along on their own self-destructive journeys. He realizes there's a good chance he'll get hurt again - he'll care about kids who might be beyond his help - but he feels it's worth the risk, worth the pain, if along the way he helps another.

"The only true happiness comes from squandering ourselves for a purpose." - William Cowper

One of the toughest things for Randy is having to swallow his pride and ask for donations; up until now he's been on the "giving" side and the "taking" side doesn't quite fit yet. I hope some of you will help him feel more comfortable in his new role - and help him save lives - by considering a donation to Youth Reach.