Up until recently, I maintained the philosophy that I shouldn’t regret any “bad” decisions I made – that my mistakes helped make me who I am, that everything worked out for the best, the way it was supposed to, blah, blah, blah… Now that fifty is around the corner, I realize I do have some regrets. Things would have worked out (probably better) even if I didn’t make the mistakes, and I could have learned the same lessons. (I think it was Eleanor Roosevelt that said “Learn from the mistakes of others; you don’t have time to make them all yourself.”) So here are a few of my regrets…
Quitting college – I could have met Tom at Diamondback and known all the guys at the plant and experienced what I experienced, at least most of it, as an engineer. Now that my kids are in college, I realize just how valuable that full scholarship was, and therefore, how really, really stupid I was to throw it away.
Not backing up my files – Tom recovered some of it, thank goodness and bless him, but I know there are months of work frozen in that hard drive that sits optimistically in my drawer until we have the money to pull them out.
Not spending more time with Mam-ma, my grandmother, in those months before she was diagnosed with leukemia and died - I took her for granted as if I thought she’d always be there. It was hard to imagine she wouldn’t. But I let myself get too busy with other things. Less important things, I realize now.
Not going to Cozumel years ago when I bought two tickets, but then my boyfriend wouldn’t go. So I didn’t. Stupid.
Not going into the Louve when Donna, Laura, and I were in Paris with the Foreign Study League because it wasn’t air-conditioned and Europe was experiencing a record-breaking heat wave that summer of 1976. I thought I’d be back soon.
Of course, these are just fleas on the dog. I've made many bad decisions, but for some reason these have been on my mind.I'll have to remember what St. Teresa of Avila, my patron saint, said: “Every part of the journey is of importance to the whole.”
Speaking of journeys, I will be focusing on my family for the next couple of weeks, so I won’t be able to post much. I’ll miss it, but I think it’s good to change up your routine every now and then. I just wanted to mention it, so if anyone is actually reading this, they don’t think I’ve gone away for good. I’ll be back…