I love my family. I need to get that out there right away. I love having them around, love the chattering, the bickering, the company.
That being said...I have REALLY been looking forward to today all week...Kendall in Spain, and Tom and Daniel backpacking in Big Bend National Park...to coming home from Houston and having the house all to myself for several days, rather than just a stolen hour or two. I've looked forward to playing my drums...working on my screenplay...scanning and uploading photos...reading...watching movies no one else wants to watch. Things that are difficult or even impossible when everyone is at home. I'm actually a social hermit - I enjoy people, need to be with people, but I also need time alone just as I need food and air.
What a surprise when I lugged my bags through the front door into this cold, quiet, dark house and felt...lonely. Maybe it was just the weather, still cold and overcast, seeping inside of me, bringing me down. The house was all mine, just as I anticipated, yet I here I was wasting the rare opportunity by feeling melancholy!
First I tried starting a fire, but I'm out of practice and too impatient...spoiled by Tom keeping one going all winter...and I couldn't get it to light. Then I realized I had been sitting on my butt for two days - driving to Houston, visiting with Mama and Daddy, driving back home. No wonder I felt so BLAH! It was almost dark, but I hurried outside, called the dogs and Frankie, and headed up the road. I felt better right away, maybe because the critters were so excited about the walk, but also just from MOVING!
Back home, I put on a James Brown CD ("Get up offa that thang...") and turned back to the woodburning stove, refusing to give up so easily. It took awhile, but now there's a beautiful blazing fire, James has given way to John Mellencamp, the dogs and Frankie are fed, and I'm trying to decide if I want to play my drums before watching a movie. I'm still missing everyone and worrying about them, but I've been able to tuck it inside and relish this time alone. The hours are already flying by...