It's ironic. Growing up, I didn't dream of being a mother. I preferred toy guns, my bicycle, and stuffed animals over baby dolls. When I peered into my future, I pictured a college degree and some kind of unconventional career, like architect, archaeologist or journalist. Never teacher or nurse.
I didn't think about getting married and having a family. I took it for granted it would happen, but it wasn't what I focused on. And to be honest, I never cared that much for babies or little kids. I just didn't fall under their spell. When my friends started having babies, I thought they were cute enough, but I didn't jump at the chance to hold them, change their diaper, or babysit.
All of that changed shortly after Tom and I were married. It was like night and day, like being hit by a lightning bolt or dropping into colorful Oz from black and white Kansas - one day I was ambivalent and the next day I was in a fervor. I wanted a baby!
I was one of the lucky ones whose wish was granted - three healthy times. The transformation was swift and complete - I am a Mother, through and through. A real baby and little kid person. I love to hold them, smell them, rock them, soothe them, and, okay, I'll change the diaper.
It's hard to imagine ever being any other way. Even today, well past my room mother and bedtime stories days, my babies are in my heart and in my mind as I work on my screenplay, dream of finishing my degree, or spend time with my friends. Part 2 of my job is at hand - being happy I'll soon have an empty nest because my babies are able to fly.
But they know that first and foremost, I'm their mother for my whole life, for their whole lives, in all they do, for whatever they need, whenever they need it. Just as my mother is for me. Forever.
Happy Mother's Day!
