This day will come and go quickly, just like all the others this summer...this past year...the past eighteen years...but one thing is different: with the coming and going of this day, my baby will turn eighteen.
I get to spend the day with her - we've spent more time together the last few weeks than we have in years, I think, because we're working together. It's given us a chance to relate to each other in a whole new way, from different perspectives...preparing us for roles that will continue to shift as she pulls further and further away, becomes more and more independent.
It's given me a glimpse of the person she is apart from The Daughter...and I think she is seeing me as someone other than The Mom. I like what I see. I can only hope that she does.
"Cleaning and dusting can wait till tomorrow, for babies grow up, we've learned to our sorrow. So settle down cobwebs and dust go to sleep...I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep."
Ain't it the truth! I could try to hold on to these days...to her...but I know it's futile. And I wouldn't want to, anyway. Time flies. Babies grow up. That's the way of the world and the way it should be.
Once upon a time, I was a baby...then I was a eighteen...and now I'm fifty. Before I know it, TG will be turning fifty and I'll still be wondering, as I'm sure my mother is, "How did this happen so fast?"
I'll try to make this day special for her somehow. I haven't quite figured out how. Like last year, she's asked for nothing special, offered no ideas on how we can help her celebrate.
So I settled on a menu of grilled steaks, baked potatoes, and cheesecake - foods I know she likes.
Or at least she liked them yesterday...she's changing day by day, right before my eyes, from the little girl that wanted me to carry her to bed, read to her, and tuck her in...to this emerging woman who lets me share bits of her life...who laughs with me, rants with me, cries with me, calms me, debates with me, listens to me, learns from me, teaches me...
Still, when I look at her, I see all the ages that she's passed through...I see all the TGs she's been up until this day.
And I know one thing will never change, whether she likes it or not...she'll always be my baby girl.