In homage to Shake Russell's song, "What This Heart Holds", I decided, for Valentine's day, for Tom, I'd take a look inside. Here are a few things I discovered this heart holds...
Intense blue eyes, sandy blonde hair, freckles scattered across broad shoulders...
The fear and excitement of new love...that moment of recognition, that instant when my heart said to yours, "I know you! I didn't recognize you at first, but yes..yes, it IS you! I thought you'd never get here!"
New life times three, borne of our love...when our focus shifted from our selfishness onto others...the image of you cradling each tiny miracle in a silent vow to love and protect.
Your arms holding me as I wept over Buster...Mammaw...Grandmother...Haila...Char...Charly...the list goes on too long, too far. Our mingled tears and sorrow...yet so many celebrations and so much laughter...heartbreak made easier and joy multiplied by sharing.
The fear of losing you...to roofing, rock climbing or car accidents...memories of cold hospital rooms, time standing still, hopefulness, prayer...blue eyes crying and "I'm sorry" whispered from under bloody cotton gauze...
The fear of losing you to mistakes, misunderstandings, miscommunication and misplaced pride...just as serious, painful and life-threatening as any physical accident could be.
Blood, sweat and tears, souvenirs of working together to make a dream a reality...of prayers and a desperate belief in our love that helped us hang on to each other when the stress threatened to pull us apart.
Walking hand-in-hand with you through the hollow and along our creek...along beaches, through forests and deserts, discovering cities and history, climbing hills and mountains...
Friendship, admiration, respect and awe...each day discovering something new and amazing about you.
Those moments kneeling with you in prayer and thanksgiving for bringing us together...sometimes beside you, as today, your fingers laced in mine...sometimes, not so often anymore, as bookends to our three babies.
The security of being able to disagree with you...to tease and laugh at each other, even toss insults back and forth...in our hearts knowing they're merely other ways of saying "I love you"...
Gratitude for having you next to me for yet another Valentine's Day...that you are my Valentine and I am yours.
Intense blue eyes, silvery light brown hair, freckles scattered across broad shoulders.
This heart holds love.
Happy Valentine's Day!
