Stand still, planted in the meadow. Breathe in. Breathe out. Listen. Hear the birds kreee-kreee across the pond, Belle and Max munching grass near my feet. Feel the minute. Close my eyes and really feel it... feel my heartbeat counting off the seconds...
"On the tightrope of life, only one thing allows us to move forward, and that one thing is balance. Without balance we fall into chaos, we fall behind, we miss out on what true choices we have in life..." -Laura Kangos
I started this post a few days ago, but that's as far as I got. I've truly been off-balance and am having a hard time trying to even things back out. I'm down to this basic question - with the little bit of free time I have each day, do I sleep or do I write? That's what it's come down to - everything else is whittled down about as far as they can go.
I know, no matter which I choose, I'll still be out of kilter.
Lately I've chosen sleep. Still not quite eight hours, but more than the four or five I was trying to survive on, when I thought I could squeeze "everything" into one day.
The lack-of-sleep brain-fuzzies have cleared, but now piles of crap are building up in there... to-do's that can't get done. I'm ignoring them... trying to, anyway... but I fear they'll soon swallow me up. The result is the same - my brain is scrambled. I'm forgetting things.
And then there's the lack of solid time for writing. I'm a table with a leg missing. No wonder I'm letting things slip!
Yet, despite the imbalance, today I felt a seed of peace inside, a seed of acceptance for this hectic life of mine that doesn't allow me as much time as I want (need?) to pursue things I've put off for so long. It is a good life. I know that.
I think the full moon planted the seed, when it peered at me through the French doors first thing this morning, looking just like one of my critters waiting patiently for me to come outside and play. The moon reminded me of the constancy of life. The beauty of life. The day begins and the day will end, no matter what I do with the time in between. I'll find my balance, sooner or later. For now, all I can do is live it minute to minute, as fully as I can.