Long Hollow

Meet Haley

A new face greeted me when I stepped out for my morning walk last week...

No, we haven't adopted another puppy. She lives next door but comes over to play almost every day, joining us for walks or just hanging around while my pups eat breakfast. I don't feed her, but if she sits for me, I give her a milkbone treat. 

Belle is ecstatic about her new BFF - Haley likes to run and play as rough as she does. Belle's The Rocket Dog, but Haley is The Cannon, stocky, solid and powerful.

Max enjoys Haley's company, too - it takes some of the "play with the puppy" pressure off of him. Besides, it's obvious Haley has a crush on Max. Who could resist being idolized?

In my wildest dreams, I never expected to be spending my mornings walking with a Rottweiler and a Pit Bull. Tom and I have always been Lab/Shepherd people!

But you just never know what life's going to bring to your doorstep! All three of these dogs were wanderers... abandoned or dumped, left to fend for themselves. Lucky for them, their wandering led them to families who care for them. Not the fate of so many others.

Lucky for us, we're one of those families.

If you're a dog lover, you need to read the story of Diamond over at Mrs. BizWhiz. (Click here: It's a Dog's Life.) Diamond's story continues over several posts, all named "It's a Dog's Life". Here's a tip, though... keep some tissue handy.

Friday Focus

My brain has been scattered lately, trying to fly in too many directions at once. I end up lost; my mornings wander away from me and I feel I'm scrambling to catch up the rest of the day.

I didn't realize how bad it was until two days ago - I sat down to play my one-song-a-day on the drums and realized my mind had drifted out the window into the woods and the drumsticks were only half-heartedly keeping time to the song playing in my ears. I jerked myself back and mentally slapped myself: Stay in the moment! Quit drifting ahead, quit drifting to the past. Just stay right here and focus on the present!

That's what I'm doing today... trying to do... adjusting my zoom close onto the 'right now', focusing on what I'm doing, not what I'm going to be doing or what I've done. So far, so good.

Today's Friday Frozen Moment is a teaser... any guesses? (If you know, don't give it away!) I'll explain tomorrow.

Also, Mr. Nikon (Keith Land) came through with seven photos from the Linton Mancilla concert this past Saturday night. Here's one - I'm posting the rest on Confessions of a Photography Addict here if you're interested. He says he took 1200 photos that night. Hmmm... seems I'm not the only photography addict!

Oh, and I can't forget to wish my friend Tamara a happy birthday. She's one of those friends I don't see or talk to often enough... I really miss her!... but I know she's still holding onto the other end... there if I need her. And she knows it's the same with me. So happy birthday, Tamara!

Happy Friday, happy weekend, happy end of July to all of you! 

And don't forget to focus!

Hanging on, letting go... Indefinable Friendship

It's funny how often the sky above me on my morning walks reflects my thoughts. This morning the sky was a swirl of grays, whites and blues. I counted three different kinds of clouds (don't ask me their names!) crisscrossing and dancing in front of a sunshine-rich blue backdrop.

And that's pretty much what was happening in my head... lots of swirling thoughts, some light and full of sunshine, but some tinged with gray, threatening rain.

Friendship was on my mind, as it often is, along with the usual... finances, the land, the kids, jobs, my writing...

I was thinking what a funny thing friendship is... how indefinable... how impossible to squeeze into a specific container...
In comes in so many shapes, colors, intensities.
It's unpredictable - you click with certain people; with others, you just don't. But surprise! you might if you try again later.

Some friendships take years to form; others only seconds.
Some snap, broken by some random split-second test of life,
While others take on superhero strong-as-steel, unbreakable qualities.

In the past few years, I have regained friendships I thought were lost forever through negligence;
Others that lasted decades... holding on tight through marriages, divorces, parenthood, illness and cross-country moves... have suddenly rusted away.
Nothing of substance there after all, you might be thinking, but I know that's not true.

Funny things, indeed. What does it really mean to be a friend, anyway?

I have a tendency to hold on tight to my friendships. Time doesn't bother me - for me, friendship is always in the present tense, no matter how many years have gone by. And I know there are others out there like me. I may not hear from them often, but I know they are there, holding on tight to the other end, if I need them. And they know the same about me.

But I'm learning to recognize that sometimes I'm clinging to an empty line - no one is hanging on to the other end of the rope, anymore. There are signs and I'm learning to read them, instead of ignoring them and making excuses. For whatever reason, they've let go and there's nothing I can do about it, but let go of my end as well. It's a waste of time to hang on. Maybe one day they'll wander back and pick up their end. Maybe not.

I'm learning not to be sad about that, to just let go and focus on the lines I'm still holding, the lines I'm still collecting. It's tough. But it helps that every day I'm rediscovering (or just discovering, period) other friends. Perhaps it's because I have the time now that my kids are older, or maybe I just realize how much more beautiful my life is when it's layered with so many different shapes and colors, and I'm reaching out more, but I know that these friendships, however indefinable themselves, help me define "me"... help me discover things about myself I've forgotten or perhaps never knew. They make me stronger, they inspire me, they challenge me, they bring me joy.

My friendships are here and now. Today. We might share memories from the past, but memories alone can't keep a friendship alive... it has to be carried into the present, and that takes two.

Last night I met these wonderful women I went to high school with for dinner. Our memories swirl in the same place, sometimes alone, sometimes intersecting, but our friendships are alive and well in the present (a good thing, considering my memory isn't what it used to be!) I hope they continue to grow, held up on both ends and carried forward, even as I reluctantly whisper good-bye to others.

(Leslie, Donna CH, Shirley, me and Donna BV - photo by the Girl, who was lured to join us by promise of spinach enchiladas, but I think thoroughly enjoyed listening to our stories, too.)

 

One Weekend, Two Theaters, Tons of Talent

I can't believe I forgot my camera. I can't BELIEVE I forgot my camera. I CANNOT BELIEVE I FORGOT MY CAMERA!

That's all I could think about when we arrived at One World Theater Saturday evening for the Linton Mancilla CD Release Party/Concert. As soon as we pulled into the parking lot of the Tuscany-Meets-Texas-style villa perched on a hillside in Austin, I thought, oh, how gorgeous... I want to get a picture... and that's when I knew... I just knew without even looking in my purse: I had forgotten my camera.

I probably started twitching, and as soon as we entered the room, I glanced around in a desperate hope that someone had an extra camera they would let me borrow... oh, yeah, what are the odds? I even started asking around. People were probably elbowing each other, pointing at me, noting the crazy look in my eyes.

I'm sure I felt the same ache a smoker feels when she taps her pack and only stray flakes of tobacco fall out, teasing her. Got an extra cigarette, mister? How about a spare camera?

Persistence pays off, though. Turned out, Lunchbox the the bass player had a camera (his name is Larry but they call him Lunchbox and I have no idea why) but he would be on stage and couldn't use it. So not only did I score a camera, but I would be doing someone a favor by taking lots and lots of pictures!

I have no idea how the photos turned out. Probably not very good - the theater was dark except for spotlights on some members of the band and there was a no-flash rule, and I was using an unfamiliar camera. But I blissfully shot away, making sure I snapped several of Lunchbox.  I love digital.

Even though the concert photos are probably nothing more than blurry shadows and light, I did get some good ones of me and Liane, and a few of Alan "Bones" Davis, another friend of ours, who played the pre-concert show in a better-lit room downstairs of the theater.

I hate to complain, but the camera I snagged was a pretty simple point and shoot. Soon after the concert started, I spotted a hefty Nikon right on the front row. When it was over, I slipped the photographer my email and blog addresses, begging for some of his photos to post here. (Tom didn't even get my contact information until our 2nd meeting! But then, I don't think he showed me his camera right away.)

Oh, I guess I should mention how wonderful the concert itself was! Jim and Eric are the framework of Linton Mancilla, but on any given Friday Night Hootenanny at Jim and Liane's house, there are half a dozen other gifted musicians, and many of them played with the band Saturday night, coming and going on and off the stage. Saxophone, penny whistle, mandolin, violin... even Bones on the harmonica, blending with guitars, keyboard, drums into an eclectic collection of songs... jazz, rock, latina, folk.

Afterward, we climbed the backstage stairs up to a walled terrace that was caught in the beam of a full moon to soak up the view of Austin and hang out a bit with the band members and other friends. What a glorious night! 

Alas... no photos from the concert have popped up in my email from Lunchbox or David (Mr. Nikon) but I do have this one of Jim serenading us at a Cub Scout campout at Inks Lake years ago...

Needless to say, when I left my house the next day, heading back into Austin to Hyde Park Theater for a reading of my friend Amory's play, I made sure my camera was snug in my purse.

I had never been to Hyde Park Theater or to a play reading - two new experiences at one time... very exciting! And I hadn't seen Amory since our screenwriting class ended over a year ago. But I know from her updates on Facebook that she's been busy writing... at least two screenplays and this play, plus a short film and I can't remember what else. So much talent and drive! Did I mention she's also an actress?And so cute to boot!

 

I'm not sure what I expected, but I admit the theater surprised me. It's much smaller than its website implies! It didn't look like much from the outside, except for this one fantastic typical-Austin-painted wall, but when I stepped inside, I knew it was all about "theater"... as perfect for plays as One World Theater was perfect for musical performances... small, intimate seating, focused on the stage.

It was déjà vu, the play reading... just like sitting in class with some of us reading the parts and then commenting/critiquing afterward. Except here, the readers/actors sat in chairs in a row on the stage, and stood up when their characters were "on stage". 

The play was great. The actors were great. And it was all free! Mostly, I feel so fortunate to have been there, to be able to be a part of the process of Amory's play. I can't wait to see it produced... because I have no doubt someone will pick it up and produce it. It's that good. And I'll be able to say, I knew her when... 

  

Bittersweet Moon

 

I followed a trail of silver moonlight from my bedroom to the French doors this morning. The full moon waited for me just outside.

Good morning! it said.

Yes, it is, I told it.

I love seeing its beaming face watching over the Hollow, keeping an eye on things. I love how its light reaches all the way into the house and splashes on my floor.

I'm going to miss it.

Circumstances are forcing us to hang curtains on those windows. We designed and built the house the way we did, with the windows facing out into the Hollow so that we wouldn't have to block our views of the creek and pond and trees with curtains (the moonlight was a wonderful surprise!) Our property rises to a hill on the opposite side - no worries about anyone building there, peeking in. 

We built our house in the center of our property to lessen the chance of seeing other houses. Silly us for thinking anyone else who built out here would do the same. Why anyone would want to position their house so they have a broad view of our house instead of a 360 of the woods and pond is beyond me.

I'm going to miss you, moon.

 

Sandy's Double Gator Adventure (or "No Pond Envy This Time!")

A snapping turtle chased Tom out here one time. We've spotted several in and around our pond at different times over the years. Snapping turtles aren't cute and slow, like Franklin the Turtle, let me tell you! They can snap off a finger in a... well, a snap! Wikipedia even uses the term "vicious" to describe them. 

And we have a whole herd of red crawdads in the little pond. It's not really fair to compare them to snapping turtles, but I'd still hate to get pinched by one of them!

But after hearing what my friend Sandy in Louisiana spotted in her pond this week while she was mowing the grass, I'm grateful snapping turtles and crawdads are the only snappers we have to worry about here! 

Take a look at her visitor...

 Needless to say, her lawn work came to a halt. She scooted inside to make some phone calls. Gator, the man in the pictures (yes, that's his name!) and his son arrived - "as Cajun as they come" - and Gator just "fished that 'gator right out of the water, then held him down with his foot." Turns out the alligator was "only" four feet long - he looked a lot bigger to her in the water!

Personally, I think four feet of alligator is plenty to be concerned about!

This might be the only 'gator she's found in her pond after 14 years in Louisiana, but she's keeping Gator's phone number handy...little 'gator's Mama might come looking for him!

"Bad 'gator! You behave around this lady, ya hear?"  Who knew slapping a 'gator's belly would quiet it down? (I hope this is information I never need to put into practice!) 

For those of you concerned about the 'gator's safety and well-being, he'll be released again... far, far away from Sandy's house, to her relief!

Drew Womack, friends, a hill above the lake = a perfect Texas night

By the time slow-poke Friday knocks on our door, Tom and I are usually worn out from entertaining the other demanding, high-maintenance days of the week; we can muster enough energy to snuggle downstairs watching a movie, but that's about it. We don't have enough brain left to make plans (besides, we're procrastinators, remember?)

Thank goodness for our friends who do make plans and invite us to join them. That's how we came to be at Steiner Ranch Steakhouse last night, sitting on a hill overlooking Lake Travis at sunset, relishing the breeze that took the bite out of the Texas sunshine, sipping Pinot Grigio and a Shiner Bock, respectively, catching up with great friends, listening (and dancing) to Drew Womack singing cover songs and originals in his not-quite-country beautiful voice.

Isn't there a saying about not recognizing the treasure or beauty that's closest to you? If there's not, there should be. I've been hearing people in our little town talk about Drew for years (he lives here)... about what a great singer-songwriter he is, how talented, how he'd won awards in Nashville. 

I'd never heard of him, and Tom and I never bothered to go see him, although I did end up on a committee with him, briefly. He seemed like a sweet guy. It was only by accident that I found out everything we'd heard about his musical talents was true - he played at Steiner Ranch Steakhouse after my friend Darla's wedding. It had already been a long day, so Tom and I only lingered for a couple of songs, but I left reluctantly. Drew's music goes hand-in-hand with sitting up on that hill above the lake, watching the sunset.

I admit we didn't go to Steiner Ranch last night to see him, though - we didn't even realize he would be playing there when we planned it. It had just been too long since we'd gotten together with these friends, including the newlyweds, Darla and Roy (see the link to their wedding above.) 

Discovering Drew was playing just tipped the night's rating from "great" to "perfect". Tom and I were the last ones in our group to leave - we don't get out much, but when we do, we don't want it to end.

Scenes from the perfect Texas night... the girls, our table, Drew and the lake, sunset, night scene by Tom, Drew's teen groupies...

     

Friday Favorite (s) - Home

My favorite frozen moments of this past week are these from a twilight walk down our road with Tom and the puppies last weekend.

 They aren't perfect photographs, but I chose them because they help me remember why we fell in love with Long Hollow.  

They remind me why all of the back-breaking work, the blood, sweet and tears, the years of our lives, the thousands of dollars we've invested in building this home that blends into its surroundings, that doesn't disturb the spirit of the Hollow, has been worth it. 

They remind me that the Hollow is our home and it's up to us to protect it.

     

Pond Envy, Bonfire Fun and an Old-Fashioned Lesson

On any vacation, the things that make it the most special are those things you couldn't imagine beforehand... those little surprises that stick in your head forever.

I had seen a photograph of Sue and Ron's backyard pond... I couldn't remember what it looked like exactly, but I knew it was really pretty and that, unlike Texas, the state of Wisconsin had strict guidelines to follow when making any changes or improvements to ponds or waterways, even small ones on private property.

We arrived in Manitowoc at 10pm and drove in darkness through the woods to our lodgings, a pop-up camper. We were so tired, we just crawled into the sleeping bags in our clothes.

The next morning... well, remember that moment in the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy steps out of the house from black and white into full-fledged Oz color? That's how I felt when I stepped out of the camper and got my first glimpse of their "backyard" and the pond. I was hit with an explosion of sunshine and nature. There were natural grasses, cattails, beautiful trees, a fishing pier, a floating dock, a canoe, a paddle boat... ah, now this was a pond.

I knew I was as green as the grasses growing on the shoreline from envy. This is what ours is looking like now... I have to use the term "pond" loosely from now on when referring to it...

As soon as politely possible, I was floating, soaking up the sun and being nibbled by little fish... and it was Tom's turn to take pictures...

The wedding, barns and cemeteries distracted us from the pond for awhile, but the day after the wedding, Sue and Ron hosted a family reunion; the pond played a big part in keeping everyone happy and occupied, from fishing, canoeing and paddle-boating to remote-control boats and, as dusk fell, a bonfire on the shore.

Ah, yes. Bonfires. Wisconsonians are Bonfire Masters. For instance, instead of tossing old non-working Christmas tree lights in the trash, toss them on the bonfire for a little blue bling... 

I learned so much while I was there! 

Besides my bonfire lessons, I learned about cocktails, specifically the Old Fashioned. Tom's cousin Dan made me both the sweet and the bitter (and I've probably got that all wrong) so I could compare the two. Making cocktails is truly an art. I think everything Wisconsonians do is an art, now that I think about it...

And back to Dan and bonfire fun... you have to admire a guy who doesn't take himself too seriously. (Maybe it's something that runs in the Shallue family?) When his sister Kathy decided to toss her wedding dress on the bonfire, rather than box it and ship it home to Costa Rica with no place to store it (long story, but she is still happily married), Dan stopped her. He saw the value in the dress... as a potential Halloween costume. He even tried it on. Best entertainment I've had in a long, long time. His girlfriend thought it was pretty funny, too (when he "proposed" to her in it.)

 

Yes, it was a special, special vacation, all because of you Wisconsin Shallue's, Places, Komorosky's, Schaefer's...

Thank you for these and the other wonderful memories that will be stuck in my head and heart forever! 

 

Can a girl have too many hobbies?

 

Tom probably thinks so. But this is a cool picture, isn't it? Do you notice the close-up reflection of my face surrounding the door that's framing a reflection of my body? I wish I could say I planned it that way, but this is just one of the things I love about photography: I often see something in the photograph I didn't notice with just my eyes.

This is what I look like most of the time now - a camera glued to my face, or at least hanging from my neck or tucked into my already-too-heavy purse. When I'm not on the computer, that is.

I realize I'm already stretched for time and everyone is tired of hearing me complain about the lack of it for all of my projects (including writing a book!) and that I can never get enough sleep because I have too much to do and how I'm always falling behind on my dozens of lists, but I've acquired this photography addiction and had to do something with it. 

I joined several groups on Flickr, and that's been fun. I've learned a lot and met some great people/photographers. But unless I upgrade (translation: $$$$), I can only upload a certain number of photos there; besides, I hate to shove too many photos in my contacts' faces.

So I started another blog, Long Hollow Photography.  The logical thing to do for a blogger, right?

Yeah, I know. I'm crazy. But as far as addictions go, you have to admit it's one of the better ones. (Right Tom?)

Long Hollow Photography (clever title, don't you think?) is just a place to stash my random photographs, perhaps write about photography or share links to photography sites. So if you're interested in photography, perhaps you'll like it. And feel free to send me info or links you come across, or give me tips. I'm a photographer-in-progress, that's for sure, eager to learn more and more.

You don't take a photograph. You ask, quietly, to borrow it. ~ Author Unknown

Singing the Summertime Blues

Summers are riding bikes to Berkshire pharmacy for ice cream cones, picking dewberries in the horse pasture, the first stars silently watching a twilight game of hide-n-seek.

Summers are hours spent at Astroworld, standing in lines, screaming on rides, flirting... days spent at Camp Warnecke, tubing the Comal, playing pinball. Flirting.

Summers are flying down the freeway to Galveston with the windows open, strutting in swim suits, sweating and baking under the sun.

Summers are tubing for hours on the cold Guadalupe, the cold Frio, dancing under the stars, sleeping in a tent, starting all over the next day.

Summers are sandcastles and sunscreen, babies playing in the sand, squealing at the surf, bringing you treasured pieces of shells.

Summers are pool parties, kids clambering up a tree fort, a backyard full of friends and food.

Summers are damp styrofoam noodles, colorful nuisances always in the way and covered with bits of lakeshore, a laundry basket stuffed with beach towels, sunscreen and diving toys, plus a lounge chair or two, all claiming permanent residency in the back of my van. 

Summers are reading book upon book upon book, dark movie theaters and popcorn, field trips to the zoo and museums, long visits to grandparents.

 

       I miss summertime.

 Are you singing the summertime blues? What are your favorite summer memories?

 

A Tale of Wisconsin, Weddings and Whispers of the Past (p.s. you were right, Dean Endres)

Back in 10th grade, full of Texas pride, I got into a heated argument with my boyfriend, a fresh transplant from Baraboo, Wisconsin, over the merits of our respective states.

I don't think he was trying to say Wisconsin was better than Texas, only trying to describe its beauty and merits to me, but it put me on the defensive: I fervently maintained that NO state could come close in any kind of comparison to Texas.

Bear in mind that my out-of-state traveling experience up to that point consisted of a few trips to Colorado (the exception to my Texas assertion - I fell in love with that state right away. Who wouldn't?); jaunts into Louisiana and Oklahoma... or was it Arkansas... that I don't remember because I was so young; a skirt through New Mexico (Carlsbad Caverns... again, an exception. I love caves.); a day across the border in Matamoros, Mexico (no comment) and an emergency-room-hopping road trip to St. Louis where I was too busy trying to breathe (asthma) to pay attention to the scenery. 

Fast forward several years... from the window of Tom's old Ford van, the verdant, rolling farmlands of Illinois and then Wisconsin, dotted with picturesque farms (and those awesome old barns) stretch out around me, and I have to nod my head... I see what you mean, Dean.

 

 

Of course, by then I'd also traveled to several European countries, Utah, and all over the southeastern United States as far north as Maryland, and I had come to look for and appreciate the simple beauty you can find everywhere.

I was still a Texas girl, no doubt about that! But I had grown up enough to appreciate local cultures and regional differences... those things that make each spot unique.

And Wisconsin, especially the Manitowoc area, was unique in a special way... it came with family history. This was the spot Bridget Shallue and her kids chose to call home after leaving Ireland in the 1850s. And unlike my family tree that resembles a vine stretching out far and wide more than a tree with roots burrowing deep into a single area, the Shallue's had stayed put for several generations.

Tom and I loved it so much we went three summers in a row...

August 1983: We met his parents in Manitowoc, then followed them all the way up to the Upper Peninsula and around Lake Michigan to meet/visit his mom's family in Pontiac. 

July 1984: Tom and I went on our own, staying with Grandma and Grandpa Shallue in the house where Tom's dad was raised. I treasure that visit, having that time with them, getting to know them and Tom's relatives better. We picked raspberries at Grandma's brother's house, drove up to Door County and all around the countryside, stopping at roadside pubs and cheese factories along the way.

Grandpa was physically blind, but his mind-sight was perfect; he could point out of the car window and describe what we were seeing, narrating the memories that went with it...  the Shallue's farm was right here, the Peppard's was on this same road... that's Pigeon Lake where I went skinny-dipping with my friends...

August 1985: We met most of Tom's siblings there for his cousin Sue's wedding. We flew into Chicago and brother Steve picked us up on his way in from South Dakota. I was pregnant with Tommy and don't even remember where we stayed on that trip! Except for a few crystal clear moments, the rest of that trip is a pregnancy-induced fog! 

And that was it... our last visit until this year, and we have no idea why we haven't been back until now.

It was the last time we saw Grandma - she died of breast cancer soon after Tommy's first birthday. But I still have her letters and the baby clothes and blanket she crocheted for him. And those priceless memories of our visits.

We saw Grandpa twice more... once in Royce City near Dallas, where Sue's brother Dan lived for awhile, and another time in Maryland at Tom's parents' house. 

Sue and I continued writing back and forth for a while, but our letters slowed to a stop as well, just as mysteriously. I'm sure it had to do with parenthood - when you add kids to your life, it gets more complicated.

But then the kids grow up and if you're lucky, you get another chance; I can't remember exactly how it happened now, but it seems like I spotted Sue's daughter Sarah on Facebook first and asked about her mom. Before you know it, Sue and I had reconnected and Sarah invited us to her wedding; I couldn't wait to return to Wisconsin. I wondered how much it had changed. 

We were just in our twenties, but on our first trips, Tom and I loved driving around the area, walking through the family cemetery, discovering bits of history and soaking in the rural scenery.

We looked forward to doing that again on this trip and sharing it with the kids, but the boys weren't able to come and even though some of it interested her, I'm afraid for the most part, the driving-around-bit bored TG out of her mind. 

Maybe Tom and I are weird, but at least we're a good match!

The highlight of the trip was Sarah and Mike's wedding, of course. It was held outside (and yes, it gets hot in Wisconsin, too!) but it was a gem of a day after a week of rain.

Weddings are always special, but this one was especially beautiful and memorable to me - Mike is deaf, so he and Sarah signed their vows, while interpretors were busy signing the minister's words.

It really hit us how much time had passed when we saw Tom's aunts and uncles at the wedding reception. They still looked the same, more or less, but their kids are now grown with kids of their own! It's one of those things you might know on one level, but the passage of twenty-five years doesn't hit you until you see the physical evidence of it.

As if planning a wedding wasn't enough, the next day Sue and Ron hosted a family reunion at their home, admittedly the perfect spot for a party... there's a pond for fishing and swimming with a canoe and paddle boat handy (I'll write more about Pond Envy later)... a firepit... and large tables for family poker games.

In between it all, Tom, TG, and I squeezed in drives through Manitowoc and the small surrounding towns where the Shallue's lived, loved, married and died.

We have good intentions of going back someday and promises from cousins, aunts and uncles to come visit us in Texas, but we know from experience that good intentions and promises can be set aside and forgotten.

I hope that doesn't happen to us again.

Sue with cousin Steven and Aunt Marg in 1983, when we first met, in 1985 with Grandma and Grandpa at her wedding (and I think her Grandma Place), and last week with husband Ron, just before Sarah's wedding...

   The wedding... Sarah and Mike...

Tom's Uncle Larry and Uncle Pat talked the wedding limo driver into taking us on a twilight tour of Manitowoc during the reception... scratch "riding in limo" off of my bucket list! 

 Revisiting the house that raised 10 kids: in 1984 when Tom and I visited Grandma and Grandpa...  and last week. We've changed a bit, but it hasn't, has it? Actually, from here, I don't think Tom has changed much, either. Hmmm...

Driving through the countryside, we came across this seemingly abandoned building, a former Catholic Church - St. Nazianz. There's also an abandoned Seminary on the grounds. It looks like someone is trying to restore them, and I hope they're successful. I found a link that reports the area to be haunted, and that thought certainly crossed our minds, but it was unlocked, so of course we stepped inside to explore... (the Girl enjoyed this adventure.)

Tom and I were determined to visit cemeteries on this trip... first the cemetery where the first American Shallue's were buried at St. Isidore, which sadly is no longer a church, and then the Manitowoc cemetery where Grandma and Grandpa are buried. The Girl didn't share our enthusiasm for this adventure, but maybe she will one day. 

It took us awhile to find Bridget's grave, but we finally spotted it near her daughter's resting place...

         

Before you throw that stone...

I'm still hoping to post part 2 of the Shallue Vacation 2010 later today, but I came across something during my break from sweating that I wanted to share right away. (Tom and I are tidying up outside... mostly taming the overgrown weeds and cleaning up the "puppy playpen" on our porch.)  

My friend Gina lives in a small town near Dallas where the mayor recently killed her 19-year-old daughter and then herself. Gina wrote about the tragedy and brought up points that I think all of us should consider in our daily lives, especially in our interactions with people and our responses to news reports on celebrities and politicians. 

What is your first reaction when you hear about a tragedy like this? What does your reaction say about you? Are you the kind of person a friend could come to with a problem? I hope I am, but Gina's post made me wonder, and I think it's always good to wonder about yourself from time to time.

Please click on this link and read Gina's post here - believe me, it's worth the few minutes...

http://ginacalvert.blogspot.com/2010/07/why-didnt-she-tell-anyone.html

A Matter of Privacy on a 19th Birthday

As a baby, my daughter was all eyes ... huge sapphires that filled her face.

They acted as magnets, drawing perfect strangers to her... especially men, it seemed. It made me uncomfortable, as you can imagine.

She must have sensed my unease, because she's been on guard around strangers ever since. Especially men. And as her mother, I'm glad of it. I never had to worry... okay, scratch that, I'll always worry... but I didn't have to worry as much as other mothers about her chatting it up with strangers on My Space or Facebook, much less meeting them in a mall somewhere and riding off with them.

The only downside of this, if there is a downside, is that her reticence around people (not just strangers) sometimes comes off as anti-social. She's not one of those bubbly, huggy, gushy girls who believes everyone is her new best friend, that accepts anyone and everyone at face value, and will spill her life story and deepest secrets in a heartbeat.

Before you get the wrong impression of her, let me add that she's usually warm, sweet and giving, as well as very polite, sociable and funny, and if she's your friend you can count on her to the end.

But she can also be very cynical and sarcastic. She has a 'cold' faucet and she's not afraid to use it. She is who she is, not who others want her to be, and she hopes that's enough, but if it isn't, well... let's just say she's not a "people pleaser", worried about making everyone happy. That's just not her job.

And I admire that about her.

The truth is, she's just like me... and she's nothing like me. I'm shy and reticent - at times. But the older I get, the more open I'm becoming. My barriers are dropping. I'm not sure if life experience has just made me more self-confident and outgoing, or if my social ease is some form of early dementia (as my kids suspect), but I'm more willing to take risks with people. I do take them at face value quite often.

I admit, there's a little part of me inside that stands ready to turn on that 'cold' faucet in a moment's notice. I'm trusting and open... to a point. But that point has stretched way farther out than it used to be, that's for sure.

And it worries my daughter. Somehow in just a few short years, we've switched places; she's now the one cautioning me about strangers, about divulging too much information here on my blog or on Facebook.

"Seriously Mom? 500 friends? Those are not real friends, Mom. They're probably stalkers!"

"Mom, you didn't post your address and phone number on Facebook, did you? Come on!"

"Mom, please tell me you didn't blog about us going on vacation!"

The thing is, she's right. And I'm proud about it.

("Of all the haunting moments of motherhood, few rank with hearing your own words come out of your daughter's mouth." ~ Victoria Secunda)

Today is her 19th birthday, which just amazes me. I remember 19; it was a huge year for me, a year of changes... changes I don't want for her. It was the year I dropped out of college, worked as a welder's helper, moved into my own apartment. It was the first of 13 years that I spent as a chemical plant technician.

Can you believe this is me? It was the day before my 19th birthday - I was doing great in school that semester, full of big plans for my future. It scares me how quickly things can change when you're 19. It scares me for her, because she doesn't realize it.

I'm not complaining about my life (I realize I've been blessed!), only some of the choices I made that 19th year. I hope the wisdom she shows about privacy extends into the other areas of her life... college, relationships, money, health, faith.

Speaking of privacy, out of respect for hers I no longer refer to her by name (she's TG or The Girl, a nickname she earned as the only daughter) or post recent photos of her. I hope she doesn't mind this one of her wading in Lake Michigan with her Daddy last week, though. Knowing it was probably the last 'family' vacation is bittersweet. This is my Friday Favorite Frozen Moment of the Week.

She's also given me permission to share old photographs... and I've enjoyed digging through albums pulling these...

Day 1... at least Tom and I look happy!

With her Daddy...

(This always made me a nervous wreck, but they both loved it! Please don't call Child Protective Services... )

With her brothers...

Just being herself, my one and only baby girl, exploring, celebrating, ready to take on the world...

 

Happy 19th birthday, sweet Girl! I'm grateful for you, I'm proud of you, I love you... and I always will!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cornfields, Barns, Chicago and more... glimpses of America's Heartland

I spent hours this past week staring through my car window. I love road trips, watching the changing terrain roll by, wondering about the people who live in the distant farmhouses, or the small towns and cities we zip through.

My mind drifts... as we drove through an area north of St. Louis, I searched for evidence of the Civil War prison which held my great-great grandfather captive 150 years ago. I couldn't spot any signs of an old prison from the freeway, but I could still imagine it there on the banks of the Mississippi River. I wonder if there's a piece of wall or other remnant tucked away out of sight of the highway?

That's the problem with a trip like this, when you're just trying to get somewhere miles and miles away: there's no time to stop and explore the miles in between, except what you can see from your car window or an occasional gas station or Subway sandwich shop.

But if it weren't for Tom's wonderful scattered family, and specific get-togethers like the wedding we attended last Friday, we wouldn't be driving these roads, anyway, and we want to spend as much time as possible with them.

Still, I hope one day we'll have the time and money to slow down and explore a little along the way. For now, I'm just grateful for the zipping-throughs.

Here are some favorite images from the first part of the trip, Texas to Wisconsin...

...first, the sun rising just as we headed out on the highway close to home. With long road trips, there's always an early start.

 

We spent the first night in Wichita at #1 brother Kenny's house, timing it just right to see #4 brother Steve on his way home to Montana from Florida with his girls. Pizza, margaritas (thank you Carol!), a few games of cribbage and 3-13 and hallelujah! I finally captured a photograph of a bumblebee in their backyard! (I've been hoping to get one for months!)

  

Kenny reminding Tom and Steve that he's the oldest...

 

The next morning we rolled through the Flint Hills of Kansas, the cattle and farmland of Missouri, the urban beauty of Chicago and Milwaukee... and miles and miles of cornfields. Breakfast in Kansas, lunch in Missouri, dinner in Wisconsin...

 

(We made a side trip to this small town in Missouri... the Girl had to mail her Physics homework to her professor! These are the things I love most about road trips. Tom, not so much... he wants to go, go, go and get there FAST!)

 

And then, back on the road for more cornfields and barns...

Chicago from a distance...

 

...and up close! I'd love to go back and spend more time there!

 

Milwaukee at sunset... such beautiful old buildings!

  Part 2 of Shallue Vacation 2010 coming soon... "The Wedding"!

While I was on vacation...

Just as I suspected, I spent several hours catching up on e-mails last night. (Or trying to, at least. I was behind before I even left for vacation last week.)

Two of them really stood out - enough that I decided to share them here, before I start boring everyone with vacation pictures and stories.

The first was from my friend Jeannie (Spanish teacher turned Honduran missionary)... her latest newsletter. I intended to create a page for all of her newsletters, but just haven't gotten around to it yet. Nevertheless, please take the time to read it here: Download Jeannie's July 2010 newsletter. The work she is doing, and witnessing others doing, is amazing and inspiring. 

The second was from a friend whose sister-in-law, a neonatal nurse named Lorna Scott, has been nominated to be Mitchum's Hardest Working Person in America. He included a short video about her, inviting us to vote for her. I'm including the video here, but invite you to go here and vote for her by clicking the 'thumbs up' symbol under the video. (I can't imagine taking care of babies this small! What a blessing to them and to their parents that Lorna can and does.)

Home again... but not for long

I've been mostly 'unplugged' for the past week, hopscotching through America's heartland. We headed north from Texas through Oklahoma for an overnight stop in Kansas at Kenny and Cathy's house (Tom's oldest brother) where we got a 'two-fer'... #4 brother Steve and his girls were there on their way home to Montana from Florida.

Cornfields, barns and Chicago - that pretty much sums up the next day, a long, long, LONG 15-hour-drive through Missouri and Illinois, ending in Whitelaw, Wisconsin, home of Tom's cousin Sue. We spent four days there swimming in Sue and Ron's pond, attending their daughter Sarah's wedding (yes, there was music and dancing!), driving through the countryside, wading in Lake Michigan, exploring Manitowoc, where Tom's dad grew up, and just reconnecting with the Wisconsin Shallue's.

I took tons and tons of pictures but haven't had time to retrieve them from my camera; the past two mornings my cell phone alarm has gone off way earlier than I even want to remember so that we could hit the road and be home in time for the Girl's class this evening.

We took a different route this time, through western Wisconsin to Iowa, down the western edge of Missouri to Kansas City and back to Ken and Cathy's in Wichita, shaving almost three hours off the trip - enough for a quick game of cribbage and a few hours of sleep. We promised one day we'd come back for longer than a pitstop on our way to and from somewhere else.

We arrived home in time for me to unpack, eat lunch, start laundry, dote on Belle and Max a bit, clean off my desk (a week's worth of mail! Fun!) and then jump back in the car to head up here to the college. Maybe, maybe I'll have a little time to work on my book, but I'm afraid it might take the next few hours to just catch up on email.

Pictures will have to wait till tomorrow.

Friday's Favorite Frozen Moment(s) of the Week

First choices are the ones with my kids of course... it's not often I have them all together! I love this one of me and Tommy - look at that face! It overwhelms him how much I love him, but he handles it well.

I picked this one because it has a bit of the Girl in it - Tommy fell asleep on the couch, so she slipped her sleeping mask on him. What a sweet sister!

This was a favorite because the original has all three kids in it - per the Girl's wishes, I cropped her out before posting it. But I know she's there.

  I had to pick one of my 'artsy' pictures - this is the orb weaver's web, dripping with rainwater, glistening like a jeweled necklace.
 
 Hope you've had a wonderful week, full of beautiful moments, frozen or unfrozen!

Facebook Opens Another Time Capsule

It started with a 7th grade slumber party and a crush on an older brother. It led to hours and hours on the phone, a few letters, a shy face-to-face encounter and "Mitch" scratched into the top of a beautiful wooden box decorated with ornate inlaid wood given to me by my grandmother.

I don't know how it ended, but it did. And then years passed, with just a fleeting thought every now and then, wondering...

And then came Facebook and a reconnection with the sister... and a reconnection with Mitch. Would he even remember me, much less the hours on the telephone?

It turns out he did. And now all of my questions have been answered - he's alive and well and we really were friends for a time. And now we are again.

Facebook is awesome. 

  

Not Your Ordinary Summer Vacation

My dad's cousin left for China this morning. This is her 17th visit, most of them mission trips. On this one, she'll be part of a team teaching English.

The Big Trip of my summer will be up north to Wisconsin to visit some of Tom's family. Our last visit was for his cousin's wedding in 1985 - I remember because I was pregnant with Tommy.

We had made at least two visits up there already, with and without Tom's parents. We loved hanging out with his Grandma and Grandpa in the house where his dad grew up... driving around while Grandpa pointed out the family farm, the pond where he skinny-dipped, the cemetery full of Shallue's...

We loved meeting all of the uncles, aunts, cousins, touring the Manitowoc Ice Machine company where one uncle worked, the submarine museum and the cheese factories, loved trekking up to Door County, loved the roasted corn and fish, the fresh-picked raspberries, the brats and beer. Lots of beer!

We never intended to wait this long to return, but you know how life can be, especially after you have kids! You get busy - and time doesn't wait. 

We'll be going back for another wedding - his cousin's daughter's wedding! The cousin who got married on our last visit! Thanks to Facebook, we've all reconnected again.

We know it won't be the same. Grandma and Grandpa are both gone - the house belongs to someone else now. But we're looking forward to it, getting to see family we haven't seen in over twenty years, meeting some new ones who weren't even born the last time we were there, including the bride.

But let's face it, it's not an exotic trip to China like my dad's cousin's wife is taking.Please keep her and the rest of her group in your prayers. One of the team members has started a website to share photos and impressions of the trip. Click here if you want to follow along. I plan to. I'm sure it's the closest I'll ever get to the real thing!

Hot Dog a la Tex-Mex!

Ever since we traveled down to Huatabampo, Mexico for his little brother's wedding in 1998, Tom has been raving about the Mexican Hot Dogs sold by street vendors there. He described them to me, but I wasn't impressed or tempted to try one myself - avocado, tomato and lettuce on a hot dog? Oh, heck no. Give me some mustard, chili and cheese, or perhaps just some relish. Now that's a hot dog!

But dang it... this weekend he dressed up his Fourth of July hot dog with avocado slices and pico de gallo. It looked so good, I couldn't resist. I tasted it... and had to admit he was right. I hate that! But I'm a definite convert. Avocado and tomatoes taste absolutely divine on hot dogs!

And they even look good, too, don't they?

 

Ten Days Later... Freedom!

Independence Day took on a new meaning for us today. It's done - Belle's sentence is over, her Cone of Shame gone, as well as her stitches. She's an outside dog again, free to run and jump on Max as much as she wants again, or at least as much as he'll allow. No more leash, no more "NO BELLE"s, no more 'accidents' in the house. 

I have to admit though... it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Only one DVD, one section of electrical cord and one book were destroyed. 

Unfortunately, the DVD was Willow, one of our favorites, but the book was just a French-English paperback dictionary I picked up at a garage sale somewhere, so no harm done there. Both are replaceable. The electrical cord was a section that lit up our "movie lights" downstairs - it'll be a little work, but Tom can fix it.

It could have been worse. Much, much worse.

Max was mostly an outdoor dog this past week, but as the fireworks became more frequent, he spent more and more time indoors, too. Needless to say, by this morning, the downstairs reeked of dog and looked like the front porch, full of dog toys, dog hair and mutilated plastic bottles. I've spent the past few hours dusting, sweeping, vacuuming and mopping, and I'm happy to say the reek is gone! 

Apart from the reek and the hair, having an indoor dog wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, though - Belle learned to sleep all night, had very few accidents, and she's a pro at walking on a leash now. 

Still, I'm glad it's over! This has been quite a week and a half, one of full moons, thunderstorms and soaking rains. There was the scare of my mom being rushed to the hospital, the frustration of never finding out what caused her problems, but the blessing of knowing she doesn't have cancer or any other detectable problems.

Except for having all of the kids home Friday night and part of Saturday, our Fourth of July weekend was pretty Blah - it rained Saturday morning on the parade and I forgot about the fireworks that evening due to shopping-induced exhaustion with the Girl. But that was fun, so I won't complain. 

Thank goodness the sun finally came out for the actual Fourth of July. We didn't get to enjoy it by swimming or getting out on the lake, but it was a blessing just to feel it on my skin when we took the dogs for a walk and watch its last rays slip behind the hill from the back deck. I lingered out there after dusk, listening to fireworks pop in the darkness all around me and the frog chorus singing from the pond. 

I finally came back in, disappointed that I couldn't see any fireworks shooting up over the hills - all of the shows were too far away. But Tommy was back home for the night and a couple of his friends came over, kids I've known for years that are no longer kids, and I love talking to them, hearing about their lives.

Not such a bad Fourth of July, after all, I suppose...

Doing time...

 Freedom feels so good!

Look, Ma, no leash!

Me with two out of three... when did they get so tall?  

      
 

What image pops into your head when you think "America"?

Blogger extraordinaire Pioneer Woman asked that question this week. Or more specifically, she asked for photographs that depicted "America" on her FlickR group. None of mine made the final cut (not a surprise - you should check out her site and see all of the awesome photos that were selected!), but I had fun thinking outside of the box about my photographs and America...

Rebuilding from Hurricane Ike in Galveston...

Cows, of course...
 

Playing Washers...
 

Tractors (Ford, no less... )
 

Cowboy boots and flea markets...
 

Harley Davidson...
 

Hot Dogs and Fresh Bing Cherries...

    What about you? 

We hold these truths to be self-evident...

...that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.  ~ United States Declaration of Independence

That's it in a nutshell, isn't it? The United States of America isn't perfect, but the foresight of our founding fathers and the framework they developed for our government is amazing. They even built in a way to smooth out the flaws. 

They obviously did something right... even after all this time, there are more people trying to get into the country than out, right? 

My God! How little do my countrymen know what precious blessings they are in possession of, and which no other people on earth enjoy!  ~ Thomas Jefferson

Happy Birthday, America!

   

Ghosts of Fourths Past

I almost went to the Fourth of July parade this morning. If all the kids weren't home, or if at least one of them had been interested in going with me, I would have been sitting there on my usual curb when the heavens opened up and poured (not just rained) at 10am. For once, I was grateful to be inside the house, folding clothes.

Yes, I realize it's the 3rd of July, not the 4th, but our small town celebrates Independence Day BIG and needs all day, and a good bit of the night, to do it! There's a 5K run, followed by the parade down Dawn Drive and then everyone moves to Bar-K Park on the lake for booths, games, live music and, of course, fireworks right after dusk... consistently one of the best fireworks shows I've ever seen, too.

So I almost went, but realized that it just wouldn't be the same. It would be the first time I wouldn't have at least one kid to watch for, marching with the dance group, the swim team, the High School Marching Band, the Cub, Boy, or Girl Scouts. 

As much as I enjoy the parade, I don't have all three kids under the roof at the same time very often anymore, so I stayed home, and whew! I'm glad I did! 

The great thing about our country is we can celebrate the 4th on the 3rd... or the 5th... or the 10th. We celebrate it every time we vote, every time we write a letter to the editor or complain to our congressman. Or just by staying home and hanging out with our kids.

I still got my parade fix, though - I pulled out old photos of some memorable 4th of July celebrations. Much more fun than getting drenched at a rainy day parade! 

Paris, 1976 - toasting the Bicentennial with champagne and really missing the USA!

 

Webelo Scout Tommy leading the parade with the Boy Scouts 1996

 

TG, showing her patriotism early on, 1997

 

Daniel, ready to ride, 1999

 

Me, second from the left, marching with the Cub Scouts, waving to the Girl 1998

 

The kids, waiting for the fireworks to start, 1999

 

Tom curbside with nieces, nephews, brothers...  watching fireworks in Florida last year

You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is the patriotism. ~ Erma Bombeck

How do you celebrate the Fourth? 

Frozen moments (and gratitude for my zoom)

I've been snapping pictures like crazy since about the time I learned to write in cursive, with any camera I could get my hands on, from instamatics and a hand-me-down black and white Scout camera, courtesy of one of my siblings, to an Olympus 35mm Tom bought me - and that was subsequently stolen from our home a few years later.

Some of my first work...

  

I improved over the years (I hope) but never took the time to really play around with angles, lighting, and all of that fun, creative stuff. But thanks to my friend Ann, whose Nikon I coveted, I begged for a new camera... and now thanks to my blogging friend Jillsy (click here to see the beautiful images she captures on her camera), I've been inspired to really learn how to use it and reawaken my photography passion. And I'm loving it! No, I didn't need another hobby or time-sucker, but I refuse to feel guilty about it. 

Starting today, I'm going to post my favorite photos of the past week every Friday. Or at least try to. Here are the first ones...

I discovered this little lady between our deck and the tops of some trees this week, hard at work on her delicate web. The light was perfect... she was at just the right level with me... and thank you, Tom, for my zoom lens so I didn't have to get any closer! (She's an orb-weaver, if you're wondering.)

   

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Whew! If you go to all of that trouble, let me thank you in advance right now! I love getting feedback on my posts. And I promise I'll respond! 

Talk to me! Here are directions for leaving a comment...

Adjusting the Focus - starting a Gratitude Journal

I started a gratitude journal this week... an idea I stole from my friend Nancy. I've kept one before, making lists of the things I'm grateful for each day, but I get too busy or too distracted and the next thing you know it's been months since I've taken the time to write them down.

I think about my blessings every day, when I'm walking the dogs, right before I go to sleep and often in between. But, as Nancy pointed out, thinking of them is not nearly as therapeutic as writing them down.

And let me tell you, I need the therapy! Lately any positive thoughts I have are like the hummingbird I saw buzz up to the back deck yesterday... beautiful and amazing for an instant, but easily spooked. They disappear as quickly as they come and you're left wondering if your imagination was just playing tricks on you.  

My negative thoughts, on the other hand, are like the nasty little gnats that invaded our house last week, getting in my face and my food and my cheap Pinot Noir... tainting and tenacious!

But when I write my blessing down, it's like setting up a tripod for my camera so I can really focus on that hummingbird... I can snap some shots that will last forever... proof it existed.

Each day I'm going to think of three things I'm grateful for. Three different things. By not repeating myself, I hope to move beyond generics and generalizations (my kids, my husband, my family, my friends, my health... ) and get into some nitty-gritty details that I've overlooked and taken for granted.

Since I'm being a copycat anyway, I'm following Nancy's lead and also listing 3 things I accomplished during the past 24 hours. Most of the time I feel like I'm slipping farther and farther behind in my to-do's; this way I'll focus less on all of the many things on my list(s) that I never got around to that day - instead, I'll see that my day wasn't completely wasted. 

I've added another section, so it's not a complete rip-off of Nancy's version - I'm listing the three things at the top of my prayer list that day.

I thought of an easy way for me to keep track of my journal, so it doesn't go the way of my written journals, scrapbooks and photo albums (in other words, shoved off onto another to-do list. I know myself too well.) I compose each day's entry in an email to myself, collected in a folder (named "Gratitude" of course.) It's always accessible, as long as I have Internet access, anyway.

For each of these sections, I could list more than three things once I got going, I know. And I might at times. The rules are pretty loose. But the idea is to make it quick and easy so that I'm more likely to keep up with it. 

My Gratitude Journal couldn't have come at a better time...

Yesterday morning I received a call from my sister Brenda letting me know Daddy had called an ambulance for my mom. They were already in the emergency room and Brenda really didn't know anything else at that point, but promised to keep me posted.

As soon as possible, I requested prayer everywhere I could - on Facebook, through emails, the church prayer line, text messages and phone calls. The result was overwhelming - such a flood of responses, offering prayer, love and support... more than I could ever have imagined.

By that afternoon, I had talked to my mom in her room at the hospital, even joking and laughing with her like we normally do. She was waiting on the doctor to see her and for more tests to be run, but she wasn't in the Intensive Care Unit - a very good sign!

I'm feeling optimistic, like this is a blessing in disguise and they'll be able to figure out what dozens of doctors haven't been able to so far... why she can't breathe and why nothing helps.

So last night's journal entry was easy...

... I'm grateful that my mom is better, that she's in good hands and having tests run, and I'm so, so, so grateful for the tidal wave of love, support and prayers that have been focused on her. 

Thank you all so much! And please continue to pray!