Monday was a good day.
Despite being out of coffee (remembering as soon as I stepped into the kitchen that it was the main reason I planned to go to the grocery store after shopping with TG the night before) the lightning, thunder and expletives a morning without fresh hot coffee would normally trigger stayed hidden behind this warm, fuzzy, sunshiny feeling. Corny description, but accurate.
I'm not sure where that feeling came from. Maybe from the celebration of life I attended for a sweet lady on Saturday... upbeat, joyful and hopeful more than sad. Maybe from taking time to catch up with longtime, long unseen friends I ran into afterward when I dashed into the local grocery store (I spent more time talking than shopping!) or from the feeling of having a (semi-)clean, organized house, good friends over, and the University of Texas pulling out a win over Texas Tech.
Maybe it was from the 100 raffle tickets a friend bought (or from having another friend help me fill out the stubs during the commercials of the football game.) Or from a beautiful Sunday Mass followed by a day spent with TG and a good night's rest... I'm sure it helps to not start a week on a sleep deficit. Maybe it's from recognizing my blessings and changing my attitude (sleep helps with that!)
Whatever the reason or reasons, Mondays have earned a new reputation with me; this was the second "good" Monday in a row, a day when a smile comes easily to my face and no matter what the weather is outside, I can feel the sunshine inside.
This past Monday, I zapped a coffee single in the microwave (thankful I keep them handy for traveling and emergencies like this!) and checked my email. I found a long, funny letter from a friend, a comment from a stranger, a young mom, telling me how much one of my blog posts had meant to her - she'd even shared it with friends - good news from a friend who needs good news, and photos sent from another friend visiting Paris right now. All of these people had thought of me and taken the time to let me know it. (Warm, fuzzy, sunshiny!)
I called Belle and Max for our walk. They were happy, too. It was a gray morning, but along the road the tiny wildflowers had exploded; patches of yellow and purple were everywhere. Was it because of the attention I'd payed them, by taking their pictures and blogging about them, like children blossom when given attention? More likely the recent rain coaxed them from their shyness, but either way, they brightened my walk. (Warm, fuzzy, sunshiny!)
Feeding Max and Belle on the back deck later, they barked "Breakfast time!" and soon neighbor Haley came trotting around the corner of the house, sat for her treat, then hopped halfway into my lap and gave me a kiss. You can't say no when a pit bull gives you sugar, even if you want to. But what a sweet morning gift. (Warm, fuzzy, sunshiny!)
And it was my parents' 61st wedding anniversary. I played the what-if game: What if Daddy hadn't dropped out of college to be a highway patrolman? What if Mama hadn't taken a job as a waitress or didn't have the nerve to ask him to that picnic since he was too shy to ask her? What if... well, you get it. What it boils down to is I don't believe in coincidences anymore. I know someone's got control of the Big Picture and that's a comforting feeling to me. I'll still chase my dreams, but I'm not going to despair over the detours. I like thinking of them as adventures. (Warm, fuzzy, sunshiny!)
After work, Tom met me for dinner at Panda Express (my fortune read "Your efforts are budding - results will appear soon." How cool is that? Not that I believe in them or anything, but still... how cool is that?) and then helped me with the grocery shopping - I couldn't procrastinate any longer.
That alone made it more fun, but then rounding a corner, I bumped into Denise, a friend from high school. Well, we didn't really know each other in high school, but we've become good friends on Facebook. This was our first face-to-face meeting, probably ever! What a great surprise! (Warm, fuzzy, sunshiny!)
And then there was Tuesday.
It started out in a similar way, if not better. I had fresh coffee, hallelujah! The sun was out, stretching into the Hollow on our early walk and I had more messages and photos from friends waiting for me on the computer.
But sometime that afternoon, after spending an hour and a half in the pouring rain and crawling traffic (on a trip that should have taken 30 minutes tops to get Daniel from a doctor appointment to class), and then having to hit 3 stores to find something TG needed, hunger, exhaustion and exasperation set in and I needed to hear my own admonitions to the young mom in aisle 7. Even old moms get grumpy and forget to look at the big picture when they're hungry and tired. (Sorry again, TG!)
I had looked forward to an evening at home, but instead it became another late night away from the house, the third in a row... away from working on my book, my blog, the laundry and other things on my to-do list. It's one thing to say those to-do's can wait for another day, just enjoy the time you have with your kids and friends, etc., but the truth is some to-do's really do need to be done... like paying bills and keeping up with laundry so you don't pay penalties or run out of underwear. And when writing is a job, a pathway to the light at the end of the tunnel, as well as therapeutic, it becomes a "need" more than a "want" and not having time for it just adds stress. That warm, sunshiny feeling has a tough time fighting off the storm clouds.
But I heard my own voice saying "... if only I had the chance to do some things a little differently..." and I apologized for my grumps before heading home alone, already missing my kids. I'm so silly.
The clouds in the night sky had broken, revealing a large, glowing moon over my left shoulder that kept an eye on me as I made my way through the dark hills. Tom had given up and already eaten, but the steak and baked potato he'd cooked were there waiting for me, still hot. And they tasted so good!
Now it's Wednesday, another gray morning. I can still feel that sunshine inside, but when I woke up the warm and fuzzy was still cold and damp from yesterday's rain, maybe because I opted to write awhile last night rather than get a full night's sleep.
But tonight I really do get to stay home. And on our walk this morning a herd of deer crossed the road in front of us (camera left behind in the car, alas, because of raindrops) so Belle and Max are happy and tired from the chase.
Oh, and I skipped for the first time in a long time. Before today, if I tried, Belle would get excited and skip with me... under my feet. Have you tried to skip with a happy puppy zig-zagging through your legs? It could be called "Extreme Skipping" and I don't recommend it. But she's growing up and today she was happy to skip along beside me; I could feel the wind drying out that damp and cold as we made our way down the dirt road toward home.
Hope your Wednesday is warm, fuzzy and sunshiny!
