Long Hollow

A Weekend of Reunions

 "Be the first to hit the dance floor."

~ Love, Dove

Finding this in my chocolate wrapper today made me laugh. I'm frantically tying up loose ends and scratching to-do's off of lists so I'm ready to hit the road with my Lago girls first thing in the morning. Today is the eve of our 12th Annual Girls' Weekend at the Coast. This time tomorrow I'll be, well, actually I'll be grocery shopping.

Doesn't sound like fun, I know,  but even though grocery shopping is near the top of my 'Things I hate to do" list, this is one shopping trip I enjoy... zipping around the store buying up goodies for the weekend, bumping into my friends around every corner and then trying to load several cartfuls of supplies into our already over-packed vehicles for the final leg of the journey onto the island, giggly with excitement and eager for the sun and sand.

But back to my Dove love note... Some of us will be hitting a dance floor this weekend, and I'm usually the first and last one on there (I don't mind dancing by myself, so it's not contingent upon someone asking me.) But thanks for the encouragement, Dove!

Gosh, I can't believe it's already Wednesday Thursday. Here I am on the verge of another weekend and I haven't even told you about my last one! And there's plenty to tell! (I started this yesterday but had to zip off to return our grandpuppy to her mom. Now I'm frantically trying to finish it!)

I'll start with Saturday morning when Tom and I made several new friends, guys from New York who were traveling across Texas in their rented Dodge Durango. We were on our way out of Austin, headed to Pasadena for a reunion with my old DuPont co-workers, people who (with a few exceptions) I haven't seen in over twenty years.

Tom stopped at a red light. The guys in the Dodge Durango didn't.

I heard - and felt - a CRUNCH in the back of my little Hundai Elantra as my head lurched forward, smacking the visor. Sigh. So much for the reunion and all the people I'd waited months to see. 

Just as one of the guys ran up to Tom's window, I felt something wet on my face.... touching it, my hands came back covered in blood. "My nose is broken!" I dug for napkins in the glove box. 

We pulled off the road into the parking lot of a small church, the Durango close behind us. At least we could still drive it that far! I took a deep breath, prayed and felt peace flow through me. Tom must have done the same thing because both of us got out of the car smiling, especially when we saw that my little car somehow had less damage than the Durango and that my nose wasn't broken after all, just had a bad cut. 

Tom and the other driver exchanged information while another guy scooped some ice for my nose into a cup from a cooler in the Durango and also gave me more napkins. "This would have turned into a brawl in New York," he told me. We all chit-chatted then went our separate ways, elated and relieved. 

A few minutes later we drove through Bastrop, strips of black earth and charred toothpick-looking pines dotting the land on either side of the highway, reminders of the recent wildfires. It's amazing how the fire created a patchwork of black and green.

We had a few hours to visit with my parents then headed to the reunion. That's when it hit me I probably wouldn't recognize anyone - in my mind they all still looked like they did twenty years ago.

But an amazing thing happened... I recognized everyone, especially when I heard their voices. And by the end of the night, everyone looked exactly like I remembered. Even the ones I thought I didn't know had suddenly popped back into place in the pages of my memory.

Opaque layers of time had been peeled away.  

Yeah, I know... when you look at these photos you see a bunch of old farts, but when I look at them, I don't see a single gray hair or wrinkle. Funny, isn't it?

The night went by fast, full of "Remember that time...?" and "What do you do now?"... of smiles and laughter. I was so relieved that everyone seemed to enjoy it as much as I did and voted to do it again soon.

But there were even more reunions this weekend! My nephew, his wife and precious baby girl moved back from Wyoming, which meant gathering around my mother's kitchen table, sharing pizza, gabbing and...

...more photos of baby Haila! Unlike my last visit, this time she was more tolerant of my paparazzi behavior.

She even smiled for me!

 

 I wish we'd been able to stay longer (in other words, I wish I'd had time to take more pictures of that little girl) but we had to rush to the Austin airport to pick up Daniel, back safe from his world travels.

I intended to post some of his photos on here, but they'll have to wait... I'm late! The coast is calling me!

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

 

 

 

 

Now I Remember Why

Autumn behaved itself that year, arriving right on time, just at the end of September, bringing T-shirt-warm days and sweater-cool nights, perfect for snuggling in a sleeping bag with someone on the beach, staring up at a star-studded night sky. 

Perfect weather for New Braunfel's Wurstfest, with a night breeze chilly enough to believe it came straight from the Alps. 

Perfect weather for nights spent two-stepping in old dancehalls, like Gruene and Gilley's.

Perfect weather for the Renaissance Festival nestled in the tall trees near Magnolia, Texas, where cool mornings warmed up enough for wearing shorts but not hot enough for sweating in front of your new boyfriend.

That year, we went twice to the Renaissance Festival.

After the second trip, a day with such a glorious blue sky that every blue sky I've seen since reminded me of that one...a day where everything seemed to glow in a magical light, dreamlike, sparkling with life, he asked me to marry him.

Now I remember why I love autumn!

Happy 30th anniversary of that first autumn, Tom.

I still feel the magic!

 

 

Out of Focus (and my Weekly Sweet! List)

I dropped off my camera last Thursday for some much needed TLC. It was way overdue. Just imagine... four years of trips to the beach and walks down my dusty road.

Oh, poor, neglected thing. 

When I finally had it back in my hands, I expected it to work like it was brand new. Instead, the autofocus wouldn't work. I could slip it into manual, but obviously something was wrong.

After a phone call to the shop and a glance at my camera manual, it turned out I just needed to hit 'reset'. 

 Works like a charm, now as you can see. 

I wish I had a "reset" button somewhere on me. My autofocus is shot and my manual focus isn't even working too great either. All I see is a blur as I dash from one thing to another, with a nagging feeling that I'm not making progress anywhere, merely running in circles.

Beth, a friend of mine, posted a photography tip recently: "be careful what you focus on".

Her advice keeps running through my head. Maybe that's what's wrong - I'm not being careful with my focus. In trying to focus on everything within view, it all turns out a blurry mess.

So that's my goal for next week - pushing 'reset' and finding my focus...

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Keeping track of the Sweet! moments in my life helps a little... but I've even had a tougher time focusing on these this week...

Sunday: photos and videos proving your boys on vacation in Germany are still alive and well and having fun;

Monday: being reunited with your camera; black and brown puppies, in sizes Small, Medium and Xtra-large, all playing together sweetly

Tuesday: wishing your parents a happy 62nd wedding anniversary; your sister healed enough from her hip surgery to drive; hearing how your puppy defended her 'niece' from a potential neighborhood bully

Wednesday: morning Mass; black butterflies; your "broken" camera miraculously working with just the push of a reset button; being forced to learn more about your camera

Thursday: a clean(er) house; a message that your kids made it to Prague safe and sound

Friday: two calls from your daughter in one day; an update from your globetrotting boys; a surprise chat with your brother-in-law; scanning photos, turning the pages in your memory

Saturday: waking before the alarm, ready to start your day; the sun rising on the Hollow, full of greens and golds

I hope you've had plenty of sweet moments this week and they continue into the weekend! Wish me luck adjusting my focus!

Me in a Hard Hat

"I can't picture you in a hard hat," Bob from my church told me after reading "A View from a Catwalk". 

I've spent the last two days thumbing through thirteen years of photos in preparation for a DuPont reunion and thought of Bob every time I came across one of me in my hard hat.

So here you go, Bob. This one's for you.

Me and JD. I remember the day it was taken. A photographer was roaming the plant, taking promotional photos. He asked us to pretend we were working on something. I felt silly. JD, on the other hand, went right to work on that water station.

JD was a sweet guy. We shared a passion for genealogy; he's the one who lit the fire in me to start researching my lines at the Clayton Library in Houston. His was trying to track down family behind the Iron Curtain at the time. He hinted at a big scandal.

He also taught me how to look at my pay stub, to make sure my overtime was correct and things like that that I'd never even thought about. Before donning the hard hat, he drove a UPS truck, I believe. 

One morning when he was only in his 40's, his heart gave out at the breakfast table. His funeral was a reunion of sorts for me - I had already turned in my hard hat and big paycheck to stay home with my three babies. The funeral home overflowed with people, mostly people from his church who stood and spoke of JD's generosity and compassion.

Isn't it funny that, even after all these years of women's rights, blah, blah, blah, people still have a specific idea of what a chemical plant worker looks like - and acts like? I doubt if JD or I either one fit the stereotype.

Actually, most of the people I worked with didn't fit the preconceived hard-hatted mold either. They didn't even have much in common aside from the plant. But no matter our differences, we hold memories of the same pipe alleys, catwalks, columns. We fought fires together and shared pot luck holiday dinners. 

That's what kept it interesting for me and helped me stick it out for thirteen years and three pregnancies.

The people. 

And that's why I'm excited to be seeing some of those people again soon. Many of them for the first time in more than 20 years.

Everyone won't be there. Some, like JD, have died. Some we haven't even located. Some have other commitments... or perhaps just aren't interested.

But the ones who can't, or won't, for whatever reason, will still be with us. Those with family emergencies will be in our prayers and the rest will be there in our memories, stories, photos and laughter.

Here are a few more for you, Bob...

Fire school in Beaumont

Fire school again (we went every year) We're smiling because it's over!

Out of the hardhat zone... I think this was an open house

A visit from Santa Jim (out of the hard hat and safety glasses area again, obviously)

 

 

 

To my mom and dad with love

 

Thank you for the love you have for each other, a love that has survived life's firing, its ups and downs, joys and heartbreaks.

That looks past each other's idiosyncrasies and irritations into your hearts where love lies, releasing it to color everything you do with affection and patience.

Thank you for your strength, your humor, your honesty, your compassion, your generosity and unselfishness that reaches out to each of us and holds us close no matter the physical distance.

I am blessed.

Happy 62nd wedding anniversary, Mama and Daddy! I love you!

 

Answered Prayers

It's a toss-up which I love the best, autumn's electric blue sky stretching cloudless from horizon to horizon or summer's sky of robin blue, dotted with cloud-dogs and cloud-dragons and cloud-ships. 

But even I, lover of blue skies and sunshine, can appreciate the beauty of a stormy sky, of the grays and pinks...

 

...of the drama and excitement, the battle between darkness and light...

 

 

...how the darkness makes the light brighter and how the light opens up new colors and levels in the clouds and the sky and the sunlight...

 

 

...how gray and dark can hold such promise of life, how they can ease anxiety and be the answer to the prayers of millions.

 

It took two days but these clouds finally opened up and let rain fall on the Hollow and much of Central Texas this weekend.

Hallelujah!

But even before the rain, and even if it didn't rain, I was grateful for the storm clouds.

Even I get tired of blue sometimes.

(Taken with my iPhone while my camera enjoyed a little R&R at the camera spa...what a great invention, the camera/phone! I still missed my camera, but having this kept my separation anxiety from being too, too bad!)

 

A Week's Worth of Sweets

It rained today. 

For the first time in months, I heard thunder. I felt raindrops.

I was at work, busy with customers and orders and separate checks, but even though I couldn't really dance in the rain, in my mind I imagined I was. And it felt great!

Sweet!

 

Last Sunday I met friends at a Mexican food restaurant to celebrate my friend Gwen's birthday. I brought Gwen a present. Just a simple gift.

Gwen brought me 3 containers of metal and porcelain decorations, cupcake holders, and pretty plates for me to use at my parents' upcoming birthday celebrations. Gwen gave me (gave me, mind you) the sign above. She's weeding out things and thought of me when she saw it.

Sweet!

(I don't deserve my friends!)

Last night around 9pm my sons, my son's girlfriend and her cousin boarded a plane for Germany. I prayed. I calculated when they should land. This morning before work I opened Facebook and saw check-ins from Germany. 

Sweet!

Here are a few more sweet!s from the past week...

Sunday: Celebrating a friend's birthday with Mexican food and Mexican martinis; spending time with the Harvest moon; moonlight on a metal roof; looking at the full moon through binoculars with your son

Monday: kneeling and praying in an "empty" church, just you and God; conversations with blog friends, dreaming about wish-list cameras and lenses; your son cooking dinner; an email from a sweet friend you haven't heard from in awhile

Tuesday: the full moon hanging around after sunrise, peeking out of pink clouds; dove tracks reappearing on the road; responses to your shout-out about raffle tickets benefiting a wonderful cause

Wednesday: another request for raffle tickets waiting in my inbox; chatter of mountain jays; catching orange moon just above the horizon over the vineyard; cheesecake with blueberries and raspberry sauce; the smell of chocolate torte baking

Thursday: spending the day with your son before he flies off to Germany; finally getting your camera and lenses cleaned; seeing a black widow spider and a rattlesnake up close without anyone getting hurt (!); meeting Mr. Ed (more on that later); your husband making it home safely while pulling a 20+ foot trailer loaded with 94 sheets of roofing metal 

Friday: your husband finding a wheat penny nestled in your coin purse (because you wouldn't have noticed it!); your puppy dogs being good hosts to their guest; remembering your doctor appointment before you were too, too late; gray clouds in the sky most of the day, even if they don't hold any rain for you; finding out that even though a friend recently had malaria, he's all better now

Saturday: knowing the traveling kids landed safely in Germany; time for a walk with your husband and puppies before work; thunderstorms and rain after months of drought; hearing "good job" from a co-worker

What are some of your sweet! moments from the past week? I hope you had plenty!

(Not so sweet - getting behind on emails and my Facebook people and favorite blogs again! Don't give up on me or forget me!)

Linking up with focus52's theme "bokeh"

 

September, Oktober(fest) and my Friday Favorite Photo

"By all these lovely tokens

September days are here,

With summer’s best of weather

And autumn’s best of cheer."

-   Helen Hunt Jackson, September, 1830-1885

 

Wednesday night, alone on the Bistro patio after a special banquet, I bent over to un-velcro a small cushion from one of the metal chairs. Triple digit heat had given way to a cooling breeze whispering over the vineyard. An acoustic guitar strummed a beautiful song through the outside speakers.

I turned to remove another cushion and that's when I saw it, the orange orb hovering on the horizon, smiling down on the grapevines. The beauty, the peace, they total SIGH of it all froze me in place for several moments. I could have stayed there, doing nothing but soaking it all in with all of my senses for hours.

I love September... I love full moons... so that's why I chose the one above as my favorite this week. 

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My boys are on the edge of a European adventure. They're in Chicago as I'm typing this but jumping on another plane this evening, headed for Munich to experience an authentic Oktoberfest, visit castles and all that fun German stuff.

In a few days, they'll head for Prague, Czech Republic. Another place I've longed to visit.

I'm unashamedly living vicariously through my sons the next few days just as I did with TG when she traveled to Spain a few years ago. 

A photo of them at the airport would have been my favorite photo of the week, except I wasn't there to see them off. They left early this morning from San Antonio, along with Tommy's girlfriend Kirby. We met up with her in San Marcos last night to trade Daniel for our grandpuppy, Josie. We'll be puppy-sitting for the next week or so. (Max and Belle are very excited!)

In Chicago, the trio are meeting up with Kirby's cousin Matt before taking off on the next leg of the adventure.

All I've asked for are lots of photos and, if possible, something with "Czechoslovakia" written on it. Heck, it could be a napkin for all I care, but "Czechoslovakia" has been my favorite word for as long as I can remember... it's just so much fun to say. I love the rhythm of it, the way it dances around in your mouth. Try it!!

(I can't believe they traded "Czechoslovakia" for "Czech Republic"! Not nearly as much fun, in my opinion.)

Since I don't have a photo of them, passport in hand and loaded down with luggage, and because their trip is throwing me back into my own memories (a sure sign I'm getting old, right?) I'm adding one of me with my friends Donna and Laura, on the edge of our own European adventure way back in '76. (I'm the brunette on the right.)

Under that brown hair, I truly believed this was just a preview of many European trips to come. I'm only 52 now - even though I haven't returned yet, there's still plenty of time for my brunette 17-year-old self to be right, isn't there?

But even if I never get the chance (more like, have the money), I'm so glad my kids have the travel bug and are taking advantage of the opportunity.

Please join me in praying they have a safe, fun adventure (and bring their old mom lots of photos!) Thank you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have a Groovy Day, Baby!

How can you not have a groovy day when you start it by sipping coffee from this Flower-Power, Love and Peace-ful cup?

It came straight from the Museum of Bethel Woods in Woodstock, New York, to me, via my sweet friend Mary Kay, and sends me straight back to my bedroom in the '60's when my walls, clothes and anything I could pop a sticker on were covered with some variation of these words, colors and patterns.

I won't get into all the reasons why Mary Kay bringing me a souvenir were totally unnecessary. I'll just say "Thank you, Mary Kay! I love it!" and leave it at that.

I hope all of you have a groovy, love-and-peace-filled Wednesday!

When you're down and troubled...

"...and you need a helping hand. And nothing, nothing is going right..."

 

"Close your eyes and think of me and soon I will be there..."

I covered for our church secretary yesterday afternoon so she could keep a doctor's appointment. It doesn't pay much, but sitting in her chair even for a short time I sense the pulse of our parish in a way that's impossible to feel from just attending weekly Mass and dropping a check or two in the offering plate.

In the two hours I sat there yesterday afternoon, two people approached our church for assistance. First, an elderly woman called, needing help with paying her rent. I gave her the number for our St. Vincent de Paul Society because that's what they do, help people in our parish with electric bills, rent, doctor's bills, you name it. If someone calls who isn't in our parish, they let them know where to turn.

Soon afterward, a young man stepped into the foyer, his face wearing a mixture of desperation, hope, gratitude, anxiety and relief. He had contacted SVP but missed the return call from our member and came up to the church, hoping to find her there. Even though I wasn't the person he sought, he thanked me and blessed me anyway, patting my arm in gratitude, tears edging the corners of his eyes.

"... to brighten up even your darkest night. You just call out my name and you know wherever I am, I'll come running to see you again. Winter, spring, summer or fall...all you have to do is call, and I'll be there. You've got a friend."

I didn't know the young man. I'm not sure if he's a member of our church or not - the St. Vincent de Paul Society does their best to help all in need regardless of their beliefs.

But I imagined him to be a young father trying to help his family, responsibility and love overcoming any feelings of shame he felt for having to ask for help. Or maybe he was a son, trying to get help for his elderly parents.

All I know is, before heading up to the church, I had to sit and pay some bills before late charges were tacked on and the gloom cast by our dwindling bank account still lingered in my heart knowing there were still more to pay today.

Yet witnessing the desperate hope and gratitude of this young man, I immediately gave thanks myself that, dwindling funds or not, at least I had money to pay them.  

 "If the sky above you grows dark and full of clouds and that old north wind begins to blow, keep your head together and call my name out loud. Soon, you'll hear me knocking at your door."

Then I remembered the twenty raffle tickets I shoved in my purse two weeks ago. Our parish's annual Oktoberfest is coming up on October 8 and the proceeds, including those from the raffle tickets, help fund our St. Vincent de Paul Society, as well as our other church organizations, like the Women's Guild that, among other things, provides school supplies for low-income families and Easter baskets for nursing home residents.

Despite good intentions to start peddling those raffle tickets right away, they're still right where I shoved them, buried in the bottom of my purse, along with forgotton pennies, crumpled gas receipts and those good intentions.

If I could, I would just buy them all myself, plus some, but I can't. I'll buy a couple, but starting today, with the old women's voice and the young man's face in my mind, I'm peddling the heck out of the rest of them to everyone I meet, starting with you.

I hope I sell so many I have to run up to the church for more!

So here's the deal. For a $10 ticket, you get a chance at 5 different prizes and you don't have to be present to win.

1st prize - $5000 gift card
2nd prize - Maid service for 1 year (or equivalent value gift card of $3000)
3rd prize - Apple iPad 2 (or equivalent value gift card of $800)
4th prize - American Girl Doll or Electric Scooter (estimated value $450)
5th prize - Weber Performance Charcoal Grill (or equivalent value gift card of $450)

I confess that in all the years I've been buying and selling these tickets, I've never won and neither have the people I've sold them to. But I keep hoping - that's what these tickets are all about, right? Giving hope?

If you're interested in buying one or two or twenty, e-mail me at barbarashallue (at) yahoo (dot) com and I'll let you know how to get your ticket or tickets. But whether or not you buy any, please say a prayer that enough money is raised to help all of those who will need it in the coming year. 

"Ain't it good to know you've got a friend when people can be so cold. They'll hurt you and desert you...and take your soul if you let them...oh, but don't you let them. You just call out my name, and you know wherever I am, I'll come running to see you again.

Winter, spring, summer or fall, all you have to do is call, and I'll be there.

You've got a friend."

~Carole King

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 This is actually Part 2 of a post from 2009, where I wrote "Even before the economy took its latest nose dive, thousands were laid off from their jobs, and the sun went on overtime, there were many among us who were already struggling." 

The need itself never ends, does it? Next year I'm sure I'll be writing a Part 3.

(click HERE to see the whole post.)

 

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Oktoberfest itself is a lot of small town fun (you know, a carnival for the children, a country store, silent auction, turkey legs, music, a German dinner, bingo) so if you're in the area, come on over!

Here are the details: 

Saturday October 8 from 8am to 7pm at St. Mary Our Lady of the Lake Catholic Church (6100 Lohman Ford Rd. Lago Vista, Texas, 78645.)

**** Admission is free, but full disclosure: our motive is to Raise Money! ***** 

Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

~ 1 John 4:11

 

 

Each Day

Lord, take me where you want me to go;
Let me meet who you want me to meet;
Tell me what you want me to say; and
Keep me out of your way.

- Fr. Mychal Judge, FDNY (died 9/11/01)

 

This morning, while thousands of names were solemnly read, one by one, at Ground Zero, two babies were baptized in our church.

This evening I'll help celebrate a dear friend's birthday with Mexican food and margaritas.

In between, I've been remembering...

Ten years ago I was one of millions watching in disbelief as our country came under attack. Do you remember that feeling as we pulled together in the days that followed? We changed the way we did things, for sure, but we kept on living our lives, refusing to let our attackers control us with fear. 

Living each day, deliberately and free. Remembering but moving forward, only leaving room for light and happiness and love. That's our victory.

 

"...Terrorist attacks can shake the foundations of our biggest buildings, but they cannot touch the foundation of America. These acts shatter steel, but they cannot dent the steel of American resolve.

America was targeted for attack because we're the brightest beacon for freedom and opportunity in the world. And no one will keep that light from shining.

Today, our nation saw evil, the very worst of human nature, and we responded with the best of America, with the daring of our rescue workers, with the caring for strangers and neighbors who came to give blood and help in any way they could..."

~President George W. Bush

 

 

Thinking of Peace and Sweet!ness

I have an unexpected day off tomorrow. I'm getting dizzy trying to decide what to do with it! Do I focus on "getting stuff done" or just relax and have fun? I imagine it will fall somewhere in between. I think I'll just start somewhere and see where it leads me. Who knows what I'll get done?

Whatever I decide to do, in the back of my mind I'll be remembering the events of the day ten years ago and giving thanks that those who wanted to destroy our country haven't succeeded.

The candle I light at Mass tomorrow morning will be for our country...

...for the victims of 9/11.

...for our soldiers and leaders.

...for those who hate our country.

...for peace. 

 Peace demands the most heroic labor and the most difficult sacrifice. It demands greater heroism than war. It demands greater fidelity to the truth and a much more perfect purity of conscience.

~ Thomas Merton

 

And now for some of the Sweet! moments of my week: 

Sunday: learning part of the San Antonio Spurs Cheerleader audition dance; sitting in a hot tub beneath a sky full of stars and a 3/4 moon; almost winning at beer pong; spending time with 2/3 of your kids

Monday: mimosas and breakfast tacos; rope swings and cold rivers; a swingset built sturdy enough for grownup-size kids; high temperatures in the low 90s; no wildfires near your house

Tuesday: coolness of a new autumn morning; no dogs in the laundry room; still no wildfires near your house

Wednesday: reading in a hammock; spotting the doves you feared were the victims of dove season (see above); sneaking photos of birds visiting the birdfeeder; glorious blue skies

Thursday: mornings cool enough to sip coffee and read on the front porch; sneaking more photos of mountain jays and doves; meeting a book review deadline; eating Chinese food and watching "The Help" with friends you don't see often enough 

Friday: leftover Chinese food; a long-overdue phone visit with your sister; sitting on the front porch in the evening, listening to music with your husband and son

Saturday: an early morning walk with your husband and puppies; catching live footage of Lynyrd Skynyrd singing "Free Bird" on Cool TV; assurance that friends who live near current wildfires haven't been affected by the fires; an Andy Garcia movie from '95

I wish you Peace and a week full of Sweet!s!

"You comin', Mom?"

Changing Seasons (and my Friday Favorite Photo)

In the soft gloom of an autumnal day,

When summer gathers up her robes of glory,

And, like a dream of beauty, glides away.

~Sarah Helen Whitman
American poet, 19th century 

 

Summer has slipped quietly away, packing her triple digit robes of glory and heading south, I guess.

Autumn now greets me these mornings, wrapping her chilly arms around me, sending me back inside for a light jacket. But I welcome her - she's my favorite season. She takes my hand and pulls me outside to revel in her crisp mornings and blue skies. She invigorates me, reminds me there is still time to finish what I hoped to accomplish this year.

The past few days have been especially glorious, with mornings cool enough to rock on the front porch for hours, sipping coffee and getting lost in the pages of a book. I'm enjoying the weather so much I feel guilty, remembering our desperate need for rain.

I felt especially guilty this morning when the smell of smoke hit my nose as I stepped outside for my walk; because of the cool temperatures, my mind first smiled, somehow totally forgetting the nearby wildfires, imagining instead of a cozy campfire or a woodburning stove. 

But in a millisecond I remembered the devastation and glanced all around, feeling fear rise inside of me. Nothing near us, thank God - smoke is just drifting our way, I guess. I prayed hard for rain and sent an apology to the victims of the wildfires out into the smoky air.

We took advantage of Summer's lingering sunshine and warmth this weekend by playing in a nearby lake with family and friends. (The sunset photo above was snapped from the car on our drive there. Click HERE for more photos of our weekend.) What better way to wish Summer well on her journey and let her know she'll be missed?

But for me, Summer doesn't officially end until I retreat to the coast for my 12th Annual Port Aransas girlfriend weekend. It's a wonderful way to celebrate the end of Summer and welcome Autumn... days are warm enough for sunning and playing in the water, mornings are cool enough for a run on the beach and coffee on the balcony.

Best of all, I have plenty of time to reflect on changing seasons of all kinds. 

Slow Love

The last two chapters of Dominique Browning's memoir Slow Love prove she's a talented writer. They're poetic, original, descriptive, wistful and hopeful. A true joy to read. 

However, if I hadn't promised to finish reading her memoir before writing this review for the BlogHer Book Club, I would have tossed it aside after the first few chapters because of unnecessary details, a confusing timeline, and my own pure frustration. 

Editor-in-chief of House & Garden magazine when it folded in 2007, Browning was also mired in a longterm relationship with a legally-separated man who refused to leave his wife. Despite the explanations and excuses Browning offers, I couldn't understand how someone her age at her level of success didn't wave goodbye to him long before.

Slow Love describes her depression and journey back to the surface, but as much as I wanted to, I had a tough time finding sympathy for her. For one thing, losing her job didn't throw her into the financial crisis it would so many others. She was very fortunate.

But perhaps I couldn't identify with her because I've been in a constant state of employment transition for more than thirty years and never based my self-worth on any of my jobs.  Perhaps it's because I learned decades ago that a woman doesn't need a man to be "complete", that you can't change people or depend on them for your happiness.

Perhaps I'm the fortunate one, after all.

Summer Sweet and Summer Sour

Monday morning I knew autumn had arrived, riding the tail of a brisk breeze from the north that dropped temperatures nearly twenty degrees. Robe wrapped tight and relishing the chill, I sipped coffee in my pajamas rocking on the deck of a log cabin nestled in the woods above a dry creek bed.

We were at a rental lake house, guests of my oldest son's girlfriend's dad, along with his mom, his girls, their friends, my boys and Tommy's friend Ryan. It was just the change of scenery I needed after being on my feet eleven hours on Saturday and six on Sunday: fajitas, wine, a hot tub, my first game of beer pong... (Tom and I lost, of course. How could we compete against college kids?)

One of the college girls is a San Antonio Spurs Cheerleader; it took awhile but we finally convinced her to teach us part of the audition dance. ("Us" included my boys. I was one proud mom! That took guts - and resulted in lots of laughs!)

We kept one eye on the television, though. Unfortunately, the dry, brisk breeze that brought such beautiful weather also helped stir up and spread wildfires all over Central Texas Sunday afternoon.

I worried about my puppies, but my neighbors promised to let us know if the Hollow was threatened with fire danger, so before heading home we all drove to a beautiful picnic area on the banks of the Colorado River.

A rope swing beckoned. It took awhile to get up my nerve (and Tom had to mention "Bucket List") but I finally took my turn, swinging out over the river and splashing down into its cool depths.

Ah, such summer sweetness! 

It was truly a glorious day with blue skies and perfect temperatures, but driving home, seeing the towers of smoke from wildfires to our south and east, we prayed for rain instead. 

 A few hours later, I noticed the blue sky over the Hollow had turned a hazy gray. I stepped outside and the smell of smoke hit my nose. I envisioned a wall of fire just over the next hill, racing toward us. 

With a blue sky above you, it's easy to feel detached from the danger even while you pray for those affected and  worry about it coming close to you. When smoke fills the sky and your nose, detached uneasiness can flare into full-fledged panic. At least that's the way it affected me.

I searched the sky in all directions, but thank goodness no distinct columns of smoke, black or white, rose above our surrounding hills. That helped douse the panic, but I had to make sure nothing was sneaking up on us, so I grabbed my keys and drove to a nearby hill where I had a 360 view. That hazy gray smoke wafted toward us from across the lake, obscuring the horizon and washing out the blue sky, but no fires burned near us. 

Yesterday, the winds were calm. The sky above us stayed blue. I kept an eye on the horizon but no smoke drifted our way, although I knew the fires are still burning around us, both old and new. But the potential remained. I knew it could be us just as easily as it has been Bastrop, Spicewood, Steiner Ranch, Pflugerville, Leander... and what would I do if fire turned our way? 

Lists ground me, making me feel I have some control, even if it's an illusion, so I made an "Evacuation List", a reminder to me of things I need to grab if fire chases us out of our home.   

The puppies, my purse, plus some items I can fit in a backpack:  my external hard drive, my phone and charger, my camera and charger, a list of accounts and passwords, our medicine, a bottle of water...

No extra clothes or toiletries... they're replaceable. No books, family mementoes, heirloom quilts, wedding photos... I'd hate to leave them behind, potentially lose them, but they aren't crucial. 

So tell me, what's on your Evacuation List? 

Please join me in praying for the evacuees, for the firefighters and especially, for rain. Fires are also popping up near Houston. Over 3.6 million acres of Texas have burned since December - reportedly the size of Connecticut if you lump them all together.

If you would like to help the victims and firefighters, click HERE for the Central Texas Red Cross website and HERE for a list of other organizations and locations to drop donations.

Thinking of a week's Sweet!s

Now that I work weekends, I feel like I'm on a huge rollercoaster... I spend the first part of each week trying to catch up on emails, my favorite blogs and laundry and then, just when I see the light at the end of the tunnel, I hit the fast track and before I know it, I've fallen behind again.

I've been late everywhere today - first late to church, then late to work and now I'm late meeting up with 2/3 of my kids and some friends. I blame it on working 11 hours yesterday.

But since this post was already mostly written, thanks to my Sweet! habit, I figured it wouldn't hurt to take a few minutes to spruce it up and hit "publish". I need the reminder of all those Sweet!s right now, anyway.

 

Sunday: visiting with friends after church; a full day at home, able to focus on trying to get caught up; sharing a funny movie with your sweetie and son

Monday: great blue heron soaring overhead on your morning walk; the house all to yourself; playing your drums for the first time in ages; finding your new BlogHer Book Club book in the mailbox; reading; connecting with other Silpada reps and getting inspired to rev up the business

Tuesday: Max running, running, running, churning up the dirt on the road... twice!; watching two young squirrels play in a tree below you while you feed the dogs; a bee landing on a flower just as you're ready to snap a photo 

Wednesday: finding out why your foot hurts and getting free samples to take care of the pain; selling enough "old" clothes to Plato's Closet to pay for lunch

Thursday: tortilla soup a la Santa Rita (yum!); a shampoo by Clint and haircut by Michael; experiencing Sam Moon's for the first time with your daughter; laughing with your son over Monty Python silliness

Friday: not having to leave the house for anything except your morning walk, even if you don't accomplish everything you hoped to accomplish; your husband home safe from dove hunting with other old guys; grilling hamburgers for your oldest son and his friend you haven't seen since their freshman year in college

Saturday: a glimpse of the blue of a mountain jay through your window; visiting with two friends (including one from high school!) who come to dine at the Bistro; a half moon glowing over a vineyard, popping up in your rearview mirror and keeping an eye on you all the way home; climbing into bed after eleven hours on your feet

Sunday: as a "newbie" waiter, being told you were "professional yet personal"

 Hope you are all having a sweet! weekend! I'll (try to) catch up with everyone Tuesday! 

Hair, or the lack thereof

Not wanting to be seen by anyone I knew, I ducked into a store quite a distance from our house, heading straight for the product I sought. I had been eyeing it for years, but until this moment, couldn't rouse the courage to actually buy it. 

Tucking the box under my arm so the name wasn't obvious, I grabbed a few more items to further hide it and headed to check-out, trying to act nonchalant about my purchase...

Tom was cutting my hair. He would touch a section with scissors and then pull back, comb another section, let it fall. I sensed his frustration. "What is it?"

"Your hair just keeps getting thinner and thinner! But don't worry," he added, seeing the forlorn look on my face, "I'll love you and think you're beautiful even if you're completely bald." 

Sigh.

My grandmother wore her hair short, in soft curls maintained with regular perms and a nightly hair-rolling ritual. When she combed the curls out, spreading them across her scalp, it helped disguise the fact that she was slowly but surely going bald.

The illusion of thickness. That's what it's all about when you're dealt thin, and thinner-by-the-minute, hair. 

I always had baby fine hair, but didn't realize I'd inherited Grandmother's thinning-hair gene until ten years ago or so. I wish I'd inherited her ample bosom, or at least her gardening and sewing skills, along with it.

As my hair continued to thin - and to require shorter and shorter cuts - I began researching the problem, refusing to just give in and start wearing my hair in Grandmother's curls.

I tried an internal solution... eating healthier (lots of Omega 3), exercising (increased circulation to the scalp) and adding supplements like Flaxseed Oil, Vitamin E and Biotin that were rumored to help. I ultimately dropped 15 pounds I had given up on losing, but didn't notice a change in my hair at all.

I voiced my concerns to my doctor. At my request, he checked my thyroid function (twice!) but everything was normal. He just blamed menopause - I was in the beginning phases of peri-menopause at the time.

I'm sure menopause is a big factor, but the thing is, I remember way back when I was pregnant and taking prenatal vitamins that I never got the noticeable hair and nail growth most women experience. I suspected there was something blocking the absorption of whatever made them grow, but had no idea how to find out what it was.

Hitting that dead end, I focused instead on the illusion of thickness. I refused to perm my hair or roll it up each night on tiny rollers like Grandmother, but through my research discovered other tricks, like

1) Getting highlights in three slightly different tones for the illusion of depth

2) A "modified bob" cut with just the right amount of layers. Too many and it lies flat. Too few and, well, it lies flat.

3) An angled side part, so at least you don't have to see how wide it's getting and how much scalp is showing.

4) Tucking it behind your ears (unless you're skilled with a round brush and a can of hairspray, which I'm not.)

5) Volumizers and products made specifically for thin hair

I found a hairstylist who understood thin hair, but he didn't come cheap. Feeling guilty over the expense, I "broke up" with him and played the field for a year or so with other talented hairdressers, but could never find another one who just knew what to do with my hair.

So I've returned to Michael. I'll cut corners with cheap makeup and thrift store clothing... perhaps sell one of my children... but I'm going to stick with him as long as possible.

Just kidding about the children, of course.

Ah, vanity. Some people fight aging with Botox injections, breast implants or tummy tucks. I can ignore my wrinkles, can live with my small breasts and my "mommy" roll - the pain and expense of surgery just aren't worth it for me. But I'd prefer not to see my scalp when I look in the mirror.

My friend Ann called a few weeks ago to tell me about a shop in Galveston that has beautiful wigs. She knows I expect to get one eventually. Ann has luscious thick hair. I know it annoys her when I voice envy, but she tolerates it, reminding me how thick hair presents its own problems, like taking forever to dry. I believe she'd share hers with me if she could.

But a wig is a last resort. Just thinking of wearing one makes my head feel hot and itchy. I don't want to give in without grabbing every last straw and that's why I visited an internist yesterday. She discovered my gynecologist didn't run a full thyroid test, so she ordered one plus some other blood tests.   

Turns out, they're all normal. I'm grateful to be healthy, of course, but it means whatever is causing my hair to thin will remain a mystery. It could simply be genetics; it could be working thirteen years in a hard hat; it could be three pregnancies, medications I've taken, or just menopause. It could be all of them or none of them, as far as anyone knows, it seems.

I guess next time I visit Ann in Galveston, I'll run over to that wig shop and have a look. Maybe try some on. I wonder if they have any that are highlighted in three tones of blonde, cut in a modified bob and styled behind the ears? No long flowing manes for me - when and if the time comes, I don't think I want anyone to know and that would be a dead giveaway. 

Well, maybe one long blonde one, just for fun. Because blabbermouth that I am, I'll tell everyone I'm wearing a wig anyway.

In the meantime, I'm following one of the internist's suggestions...

Not wanting to be seen by anyone I knew, I ducked into a store quite a distance from our house, heading straight for the product I sought. I had been eyeing it for years, but until this moment, couldn't rouse the courage to actually buy it. 

Did you guess? I'm trying Rogaine.

Oh, I hate to even say it. It feels like I'm in one of those before and after commercials with the men smiling into a mirror, admiring themselves. It sounds so desperate and last resort-ish.

But between yesterday and today I decided, why the heck should I be ashamed or try to hide it? I am desperate. I am down to last resorts. And obviously there are other desperate women trying to figure out what to do about their own thinning hair so I might as well share my experience and perhaps help someone else. I only wish I'd started it sooner. 

I know I'll never have hair like Ann's (I never did!) but this should at least stop the thinning and perhaps even help a little grow back.

Wish me luck and I'll keep you posted!

(If you have thinning hair, share your success and failure stories with me. I'm still open to suggestions!)