Long Hollow

Taking a quick break to share this with you...

I'm writing. For the second day in a row!

Actually making a little progress, too, once I managed to ignore the voices inside my head who kept telling me to give it up, just quit, that it wasn't any good.

After staring at the screen and out the window and at the screen again, I finally said "Who cares?" and started typing. 

(Those first words after a few days away from my book are always the toughest. I need to stop staying away for days at a time.)

As if the voices weren't distraction enough, for some reason, I keep finding myself scrolling around on Facebook, but it's not toally a bad thing, because I came across the video below that a friend posted. (Thank you, Gina!)

It made me laugh so hard I just had to share it here with you. Ah, the memories.

And now back to my book...

(No, really. I mean it!)

(Well, maybe I'll watch it one more time.)

 

 

Did You Get Yours?

 

I bought a Powerball Lottery ticket today. It had been so long, I wasn't even sure how to do it, but the nice kid behind the counter was very helpful. 

I'm not sure why I decided to throw my numbers into that hat. I know what the odds of winning are (ridiculous!) but in all honesty, I have a better chance of winning the lottery than writing a million-dollar bestseller or having a screenplay turned into a real movie.

And since that whole "real job" thing isn't panning out the way I hoped, what the heck?

So I bought my ticket and have spent the afternoon thinking positive and compiling a list of what I'll do with the money. First, I'll pay off all of our loans and relish being debt-free. (Whew! That feels good!)

Then, if there's anything left...

Ha! Just joking. We're in deep, but not $360,200,000 deep, which is the estimated cash value we'd, I mean, we will receive. I opted for cash payout rather than spreading it out over 30 years. Geez, I probably won't be alive in 30 years!

Anyway, back to the rest of my list:  

• I'll buy Tom a dependable car, so his weekends are free again (for playing ping-pong!)
• I would buy the materials to finally finish this house (and hire the people to do it, if Tom would let me!) 
• I'll replace our 26 year-old couch.
• I'll hire someone to stay with my parents and fix up their 50+ year-old house, or find them another place to live. Whichever they preferred.
• I'll donate money to my church to help build a new Parish Activity Center, with plenty of classrooms and meeting rooms.
• I'll travel. There's so much of the world I haven't seen yet, including Disney World and California!
• I'll donate, and donate, and help out.
• Okay, yes, I'll buy myself a new camera and a couple of lenses I've had my eye on.

 

What I won't do:

• Buy a big new house or expensive cars or clothes or jewelry or anything extravagant.

The thing is, except for getting out from under that debt-weight and a new couch and a good car for Tom, I don't need anything. My life is pretty dang awesome the way it is. Heck, if we could just get out from under our debt, I wouldn't mind keeping the old couch!

If you win tonight (if you bought a ticket) what will you do?

 

 

 

 

You'll Find Me Out on the Limb

I spent too many years day-dreaming near the tree's trunk, playing it safe, following guidelines I formed for myself (from who knows where) on how I should act, what I should do, who I should be.

Then Fifty drew near, in all her daring glory, taunting me, teasing me, luring me out onto the limb because, after all, that's where the fruit is, and to reach it you have to take risks.

Not the foolhardy, life threatening kinds, but ones involving your heart, your pride. You have to risk embarrassment and failure. You have to not care.

I stepped gingerly at first, but soon forgot my fear because of the amazing view, the possibilities that opened wide around me. I didn't worry about a safety net, but determined to fly higher, rather than fall. 

Out on the limb I feel the breeze, reminding me to breathe. Out on the limb I learn to balance between my dreams and my responsibilities.

Out on the limb I remember to dance.

This is my contribution to Kelly Letky's Celebration of Life link-up, in honor of her 50th birthday. Read more on her post at Mrs. Mediocrity.

Happy birthday, Kelly!

 

Good Intentions

I dusted and vacuumed yesterday.

I'm not sure how long it had been since it was last done, but let me put it this way: I keep photos of the kids on a table near the front door and change them out for each season or holiday (sometimes the extent of my decorating) - and my poor kids were still stuck in summertime, playing on the beach. They totally missed Halloween and playing in piles of leaves and dressing up as Pilgrims.

(Translation: I haven't dusted since before Halloween! I wasn't joking when I said I needed my Dad to come up and clean my house!)

My house is by no stretch of the imagination "clean", but at least the main rooms appear presentable and my Christmas decorations have moved from the downstairs storage room to the middle of the livingroom, thanks to 2/3 of my kids. That's major progress, believe me.

However, a few years ago the decorations spent more time in those boxes in the middle of the room than they did spread out where we could see them. I'm determined that doesn't happen again this year, but at the same time, I'm determined not to stress about it.

Or about gifts, either. I don't want to go totally giftless, like last year, because I believe giving is a beautiful way to show your love, but I'm not going to let that aspect of Christmas stress me out, either, or feel compelled to go even broker in my giving.  

Instead, I want to focus on family and friends and my faith during this season of Advent. I want to slow down and savor and think and simplify.

There will be parties and gatherings with friends. I'll need to work, both at my paying jobs and on my book to beat the December 19th deadline. I'll have trips back and forth to Houston to help my parents with doctor's appointments and whatever else they need.

But over and above it all, I want to stay centered and focused. I want to breathe and love and give thanks. I want to look inward and prepare my soul.

I'm wishing that in the days ahead you are able to slow down and breathe and find meaning in the trappings of the season, whatever they may be for you.

 

 

 "Joy is the true gift of Christmas, not the expensive gifts that call for time and money. We can communicate this joy simply: with a smile, a kind gesture, a little help, forgiveness. And the joy we give will certainly come back to us.…Let us pray that this presence of the liberating joy of God shines forth in our lives."

~ Pope Benedict XVI 

Babies and other sweet things

My plan for today:

To clean this filthy house and, while I have 2/3 of my kids here to help, get all of the boxes of Christmas decorations upstairs and ready to unpack.

Instead:

I slept in, watched an episode of Rick Steves where he and his family travel to Europe at Christmastime, went for a walk with the puppies and Tom, ran on the treadmill, and spent the afternoon rocking and chatting (in baby-talk) with my great-niece, Kaitlyn Rose. Oh, and her parents, Lynn and Tom. Well, not in baby-talk with them. You know what I mean.

Then I ate a lot of pizza.

It's too late to clean house now, so I'll probably call it a day and watch a movie with Tom and the kids. There's always tomorrow...

I have no regrets. Rocking a baby is definitely much better than cleaning house. Especially one who is such a sweet little doll!

The last time I saw Katie Rose, way back in August, she looked like this...

Now look at her!

 

My, how babies grow!

And smell sweet. And feel so cuddly.

It's nice to be able to just rock and cuddle and coax smiles from babies and then pass them off for the feeding and changing. 

But it's pretty sweet watching new parents wound so tightly around a little baby finger, doing all those things with love.

And now for a few more sweet! moments from my past week...

 

Monday: a husband who will take your dad shopping for pants and to your uncle's funeral while you stay at home with your mom; your mom's sense of humor despite her situation; home health care workers; your dad's glasses coming in a week early; a request to use one of your photos again; safely arriving home after a long day trip to Houston

Tuesday: a day at home with your husband, even though you're each off doing your own stuff, and you only accomplish a fraction of what you needed to do; saying to heck with the rest of the stuff and watching a movie with your husband

Wednesday: dancing in the kitchen; a long morning walk through the autumn-dotted hills surrounding your Hollow with your husband and "puppies"; making progress on getting your mom in to see a doctor who might be able to help; no crowds at the grocery store on Thanksgiving Eve; 2/3 of your kids home; your husband bringing warm chocolate chip cookies to you when you're working; a sweet friend purchasing prints of some of your photos for her beach house

 

 

Thursday: no traffic on your early morning road trip; glimpses of trees and old barns through a morning fog;  a message from your son that he made it to his grandparents' house, safe and sound; holding hands with your family and giving thanks for each other; friends dropping in with sweet treats for your parents

 

 

Friday: your husband, parents, and all three kids under one roof with you; road trips with your adult kids; home, safe and sound; traveling to Ireland with your daughter, thanks to Rick Steves; laughing over a funny movie with 2/3 of your kids, just like old times; good advice and help from friends

Saturday: experiencing Christmas in Europe with your middle son, thanks to Rick Steves (again!); a morning walk with your puppies and husband; sons who clean bathrooms for you; meeting a brand-new Shallue in person; rocking a baby

 

Hope your week has been as sweet! and cuddly and entertaining as a baby!

I'm Thankful For...

 

...this day, the one I'm sitting in right now...an empty square on the calendar.

I'm thankful for a day to spend with my family, thankful to celebrate another holiday with my parents, my husband, my sister, and all three of my children within hugging distance... for the chance to create memories I can tuck away into my heart and pull out when necessary in the years to come. 

I'm grateful for this chance to catch my breath before the next race begins. The coming season should be filled with self-reflection, celebration, and joy rather than stress and headaches, but it's a tough balancing act for me, especially now.

Maybe it will help to think of every day as Thanksgiving Day, listing my blessings alongside my 'things-to-do'...maybe it will help me remember why I'm doing what I do each day... maybe it will help me have a thankful heart...

The unthankful heart discovers no mercies;

but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and,

as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour,

some heavenly blessings!

~ Henry Ward Beecher

 

Happy Thanksgiving...Many Blessings to Everyone!

Wishing you all a thankful heart!

(this was an updated version of a previous post, if it sounds familiar!)

 

 

P.S. There's a tradition I love on Facebook in the month of November to post what you're thankful for each day. I decided to copy/paste them here to help me remember... 

 

Nov. 21 - Today I'm thankful for wiggly puppies overflowing with joy at the very sight of me, and morning walks on our dirt road.

Nov. 20 - Today I'm grateful I finally got to spend a whole day at the house with my sweet husband for the first time in ages. Even though we were off working in different directions much of the time, we were always at least within hollering distance. ♥

Nov. 19 - I'm thankful for my husband who makes difficult journeys much easier by traveling with me.

Nov. 18 - I'm thankful for my writer's group, and for finally making it to a meeting for the first time in weeks.

Nov. 17 - I'm thankful for autumn...for crisp mornings, blue skies, and golden light that sparkles on rust-colored leaves.

Nov. 16 - I'm thankful I have a dependable car that I can jump in and drive wherever I need to go without even thinking twice about it. One day I'll probably be dependent on someone else.

November 15 - I'm thankful for sweet memories that keep family and friends alive forever in my heart.

November 14 (belated :) - I'm so very thankful for my kids - the three I gave birth to, as well as my soon-to-be daughter-in-law. I love them all and I know how blessed I am! They aren't perfect, but then, neither am I!

November 13 - I'm thankful for my mom. ♥

Nov. 12 - I'm thankful I'm able to spend time with my parents and be of help to them. (I might have already said this, but if so, it's worth repeating.)

Nov. 11 - Today I'm grateful for my freedom, and the men and women who protect it with their lives.

Nov. 10 - I'm grateful for my sweet husband who brings me popcorn when I'm working at the computer after working away from home all day, who believes in my dreams, and supports me when I feel all stretched out and wobbly. ♥

Nov. 9 - I'm thankful for the way God gives us just what we need, when we need it. There's no such thing as coincidence.

Nov. 8 - I'm thankful for friends and family who forgive me when I procrastinate posting photos I promised them.

Nov. 7 - I'm thankful that I live in a country where, despite a lot of people being really angry about the outcome of the election, I was able to get up this morning and go about my business as usual, without worrying about gunfire or bombs in the streets. I love America and I love Americans. All of them.

Nov. 6 - I'm grateful for the right to vote (which I acted upon today.)

Nov. 5 - Thankful that even when my skies seem cloudy, I know the sun is shining right behind them, waiting to break through.

Nov. 4, Part 2: Grateful for sweet friends who stop by to see my parents and bring them food. (Yes, I'm talking about you, Debbie Igleheart, Norma Fuller, and Rae Sinor! Thank you and bless you! ♥)

Nov. 4 - I'm thankful for, and cherish and will defend and will take advantage of, my right to worship my God openly.

Nov. 3 - I'm grateful for my sons who love their grandparents so much that I don't even have to ask them to call or go visit them. They do it all on their own, because they want to. ♥

Nov. 2 - I'm thankful for making it home safe and sound to Tom, the puppies, and my little house in the woods after no sleep for 36 hours.

Nov. 1 - I'm thankful for modern medicine and the caring people who work in the healthcare industry, especially those who helped my dad live long enough to be helping my mom, and the home healthcare nurses and staff who will keep an eye on them when I can't be here.

 

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Thanksgiving Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. 

Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. 


~Melody Beattie 
American writer, present day

 

Small Things

I made it to my writing group tonight for the first time in weeks. At least, I think it's been weeks since I've attended. Time has been playing tricks on me lately.

At any rate, I made it there tonight. My compadres critiqued the handful of pages I submitted and I critiqued theirs and we talked about books and I felt like a writer. It was wonderful.

It wasn't until after the meeting that I saw the texts from my sister letting me know my nephew had to go help Daddy get Mama off the floor. She hadn't technically fallen, thank goodness. When she knew she was losing her balance, she leaned against the wall and slid down, with Daddy holding her.

A controlled fall, I guess you could say. 

(I'm grateful my nephew is living close to them again.)

 ************************************************

 

I really need to go dancing. Yes, I said "need".

Tom and I were invited to go with friends Friday night, but he had been working on cars all day (with no luck!) and was totally wiped out.

I had a lot of work to catch up on, myself, and would have gotten even farther behind if we'd gone. But, if only for therapeutic reasons, hitting a dance floor is rising ever higher on my priority list. 

Laughing is good therapy, too, though, and thanks to my blogging friend, Bill, of A Few Clowns Short, I got a good chuckle this week from the following video.

If you've never watched the TV show Breaking Bad, don't bother watching it. You won't get it, and you'll probably never want to watch the real thing!   

 

And now for more sweet!s of the past week, although I kind of gave some away in my last post... 

Sunday: no slow cars in front of you on the way to work; repeat customers; the sacrifice veterans make to ensure you stay free; majestic skies that make you pull off the road to stare and snap a photo; one more movie with your sweetie before heading out of town for a few days

Monday: leaving ahead of schedule on your road trip so you totally miss morning traffic; the red-orange rising sun peeking through low clouds on the horizon; your dad's surgeon giving him a good follow-up report; spinach enchiladas; laughing with your parents

 

 

Tuesday: telling your mom "Happy Birthday" first thing in the morning; making chili for your parents; the smell of a pumpkin pie in the oven; celebrating your mother's 81st birthday with family; reconnecting with a dear friend from your past

Wednesday: old red trucks; your parents' neighbor caring enough about them to call you for an update and to see how they can help; time to walk around the state capital with your camera while waiting to pick up your son from work; helping your future daughter-in-law celebrate her 25th birthday with margaritas and Mexican food; arriving home after being away (again) 

 

 

Thursday: hitting snooze and snuggling deeper under the covers on a cold morning; the moment when the first sunrays hit the Hollow; neighbors who tattle on your puppies when they are off on an adventure so you can call them home before they get into trouble; being stranded at home without a car so you have hours alone to work on your book; a surprise in the mailbox from one of your friends

Friday: a long walk with your puppies; finding writing inspiration in a fourth grade classroom; finally getting a chance to grocery shop for your house for the first time in weeks; watching an old Haley Mills movie with your sweetie 

 

 

Saturday: your puppy reminding you to go for your morning walk; a visit from your son and grandpuppy; a deluxe chicken quesadilla a la your son; a photo shoot of a beautiful family; red-haired babies; hearing good news about a friend's son

Sunday: French Toast after church, courtesy of your husband; a slow day at work when you're tired; finally making it to your writing group meeting for the first time in weeks

 

I hope, no matter how busy you are in the coming week, you remember to make note of your sweet! moments! 

Transitions

My Uncle Bobby passed away this week. Daddy's younger brother.

Like Daddy and the other men in his family, Uncle Bobby had suffered from heart and vascular problems for years, but it was a slow battle with cancer that took him away. He was a sweet man. In my heart I will always see him smiling, ready to laugh about something. 

That's him in the photo below, wearing my sister's wig, flanked by his son, Jeff, and yours truly, the Tomboy in ripped jeans. 

 

I'm grateful that I got to speak to Uncle Bobby a few times recently and assure him of my love and prayers. He called often to check on Daddy after his surgery. I'm glad they got to speak to each other, too.

Jeff stopped by my parents' house on my mom's birthday with a satchel full of old photo albums he'd found at his parents' house that had belonged to our aunt and grandmother. We opened them and stepped back into the years when we were oblivious to time.

When you're young, you can't imagine standing where your parents stand. You never dream that someday you'll be one of those pillars holding up the family, trying to help make decisions about things you had been happily oblivious to just months before.

 

 

Now time is tick, tick, ticking in my head. I feel the weight of it on my shoulders. I see, more than I ever did when I first became a mother, that circle of life, and I know that one day my kids will be taking my place as the pillars. 

But I remind myself that, if my kids are as blessed with oblivion as I have been, that time is still years away, and that I need to live each of these days, these years, to the fullest, just as my parents still do, to the best of their abilities.

I can't let the tick-ticking or the weight on my shoulders keep me from noticing blessings like cool old red trucks on display along the highway...

 

I pass Timeless Texas Classics on my way to and from Houston. Usually I travel too early or too late, and it's locked up. The old cars are tucked safely to bed up near the building.

But this past Wednesday the gate was open and these beauties were lined up close to the road. They smiled and waved at me, but I drove on by, in a hurry and too caught up in all I needed to do once I got home.

Then I realized the gift of the moment and made a U-turn. I spent several minutes walking up and down, snapping their photos, relishing that bit of suspended time.

Old cars and trucks make me smile - especially old trucks painted cherry red like the beauty above. And when you're a pillar - no, especially when you're a pillar - you need to do things that make you smile.

 

It really made me smile to hang out with a bunch of twenty-somethings that same night in honor of my soon-to-be daughter-in-law's 25th birthday. 

 

 

 

It was a little over six years ago when Tommy went to a friend's cousin's high school graduation party and fell in love. It's hard to believe Kirby was just eighteen when we first met her (and fell in love with her, too.)  

I love that all of my kids are living in Austin now, close enough to wish them happy birthdays in person.

 

Despite the challenges of the past few months, I'm still loving this season of my life.

I haven't been dancing as much as I'd like, but I can still dance. I can still walk down my dirt road and climb hills with my sweetie and puppies. I can hop in the car and meet friends for dinner... when we have time.

Time is the biggest challenge.

I haven't had time to finish my photography website or post new samples to sites where I can sell my photos or a dozen other things I need to do for my business, but this afternoon I get to photograph a beautiful family for the second year in a row. Last year the weather didn't cooperate and we had to take a few shots inside, so this year I'm going prepared with lights I borrowed from a friend, and I've been brushing up on how-to's of indoor portraits. Just in case.

I can still learn.

I'm also preparing for my writer's group meeting tomorrow evening. Thursday I was gloriously stranded at home alone for hours because Tom's car is out of commission and he needed mine to get to work so I spent them working on my children's book. Despite all that time, I barely eked out one short chapter, but I also overhauled my outline and fine tuned previous chapters, things I couldn't have done without several undistracted hours.

The next few chapters should come easier, and that's good, because I'm holding on to my goal of finishing my book by December 19, so I can submit it for critique before February's conference.

 

I hope whatever season of life you're in right now, you live it to its fullest. Let's make a pact not to waste a single moment of this sacred time we've been given... and especially the time we have with our loved ones.

 

 

Nothing in the world is permanent, and we're foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we're still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it.

~ W. Somerset Maugham

 

Lesson #81 (Thank You, and Happy Birthday, Mama!)

Today is Mama's 81st birthday. I get to spend the whole day with her, and for that I am very, very grateful.

A few years ago, in honor of her 77th birthday, I started compiling a list of things she has taught me. Each year since then, on her birthday, I've added to it. 

I wish this year the lessons weren't so plain.

The past few months haven't been easy on her. Her legs went on strike and she spends most of her time in a wheelchair now.

After being so independent and active all of her life (chin-up champion of her elementary school, softball player, bowler, pregnant roof-climber when her 5-year-old son wouldn't come down, main caregiver of her 6-foot-tall adult quadriplegic son, square- and line-dancer, playmate of her grandkids) and being the one all of us depended on, physically and mentally, I can only imagine how frustrating it has to be for her now, unable to do even the simplest things without someone's help.

But, as usual, she's got a great attitude about it. She laughs more than she complains. She expresses appreciation for the help even as I'm sure, inside, she mourns her independence. And she still focuses on others more than herself.

This year my mother is teaching me grace.

(with a few of her grandkids at Daddy's birthday party last month.)

 Happy birthday, Mama, with much love and gratitude!

 

Things Mama has taught me...

1. it's never too late to learn something new
2. if you have a choice between laughter and tears, choose laughter.
3. don't let anyone mess with your babies!
4. only give advice when asked for it (I'm still working on that one)
5. pray every day
6. pray some more
7. reading a good book might not solve your problems, but it's a nice escape from them
8. bend but never break
9. some people are just takers
10. be nice whenever possible, but sometimes nice doesn't cut it
11. take care of family
12. we're all individuals - let your kids blossom into themselves, not "mini-me's"
13. be there
14. Johnny Weismuller is the best movie Tarzan
15. don't be in a rush to be older than you are - you're only going to be this age once in your life
16. if you like something, and you'll use it, and you can afford it, then buy it, or you'll regret it later
17. quality over quantity
18. never think "can't"
19. people will stand in line for a dead skunk if it's free
20. roll with the punches
21. have fun
22. laugh often
23. believe in yourself
24. don't let others change who you are
25. be honest
26. don't steal
27. forgive yourself
28. God loves me
29. don't judge
30. just do it!
31. inside matters more than outside
32. don't use God's name in vain
33. you can learn anything if you put your mind to it
34. you're never too old to dance
35. it's okay to ask for help
36. show appreciation and express gratitude
37. use my manners
38. consider the source
39. an office or position of authority should be respected, but the individual in that position has to earn your respect
40. sleep is good
41. take advantage of opportunities
42. keep your eyes open and your wits about you
43. people aren't always nice
44. things can't make you happy
45. use your imagination
46. just get started and the rest will be easy
47. don't be intimidated by anyone - we're all the same, all human, we all have strengths and weaknesses
48. you can love someone even if you don't like them
49. forgive but don't forget
50. learn from others' mistakes
51. there are times for being patient, and time for putting your foot down
52. speak up
53. stand up for what you believe in
54. admit your mistakes and expect others to do the same
55. persistance pays off
56. let your kids be kids
57. love unconditionally
58. take lots of pictures
59. kids grow up fast
60. your kids need a mother, not another friend
61. pets are family
62. help others
63. a sense of humor is essential for sanity and survival
64. if you look close enough, you can find something to love about everyone
65. coffee is good anytime
66. messes can be cleaned up
67. prayer works
68. God is strong all the time - let him carry you
69. if you say you're going to do something, do it
70. be nice to yourself in case no one else is
71. you have to show respect to get respect
72. girls are tough
73. don't put up with temper tantrums
74. listen to your body - doctors don't know everything
75. don't say everything you're thinking
76. asking questions is the best way to learn something
77. your babies are always your babies (and their babies are your babies, too!)
78. God is. 
79. Just listen. 
80. people are more important than things
    
81. there is a time to help others, and a time to let others help you

 

An Inadequate - but Sincere - Thank You to Veterans

"Lord, if your people need me, I will not refuse the work. Your will be done."

~St. Martin of Tours

 

 

My big brother Buster was headed to Viet Nam, saying his goodbyes, when I stood beside him in this photograph and smiled. I had no idea what was ahead of him. This was probably taken before his first tour of duty and so he had only a vague idea himself what to expect.

When he volunteered for his second tour, however, he knew full well what he was stepping into...but he did it anyway. 

 

 

My dad was in high school when the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor. He joined the Navy soon after high school graduation because his country was at war and "it was the thing to do." In the next twenty-two months he traveled a long way from Texas aboard the U.S.S. Geneva...to places like the Philippines, the Marshall Islands, China, Burma, Japan.

Before he turned twenty, he had seen cities that had been destroyed by war and piles of dead bodies waiting to be buried. 

A few years later, his little brother Bobby followed his lead and joined the Navy, and many years later, so did my brother Donnie and two nephews.

 

Pop, my wonderful father-in-law, missed out on World War II, but joined the Air Force in time for the Korean War. He worked base supply in Okinawa, supporting bombers flying missions to Korea...about 100 aircraft every day.

He re-enlisted, got married, and hopped around the globe...living in England, Germany, and over a year in Pakistan, separated from his family (the other heroes - Mom had 8 teenage and younger boys to deal with by herself!)...visiting a dozen other countries...eventually staying put for awhile in Maryland, working with NSA (and a second job at the bowling alley to make ends meet), until his retirement.

A lifetime of service and sacrifice for this country.

 

 

My husband Tom was raised in a military family. For him it was normal to move every few years to someplace completely different...by the time he was eight or nine years old, he had lived in three countries!

He grew up on a tight budget - hand-me-downs, powdered milk and only two cookies a day...period! And yet as soon as he could, he joined the service...the Coast Guard. Among other things, he helped rescue fisherman off the coast of Alaska.

Four of his brothers also joined the service (three career Air Force, just like their dad, and another Coast Guard) and the youngest joined the Army Reserves. Now the next generation is following in their footsteps: two Air Force and one Coast Guard...and even marrying other service members!

I think it's very fitting that Veterans Day shares November with Thanksgiving, a day when we slow down to remember and be grateful for things that we usually take for granted, because veterans, despite the sacrifices they make for all of us, probably don't even make it onto our Thanksgiving thank-you list.

That's how much most of us take them for granted - as well as the freedoms they protect for us. Even when our country isn't at war, they go where they are needed to unfamiliar places, away from extended family, often living on a minimum salary. To many, they are a symbol of war, not peace, and sadly become targets of derision, scorn, blame... and even violence, like the sad incident at Ft. Hood a few years ago.

They deserve to be thanked every day of the year. A friend of mine says that when he's in a restaurant and sees a man or woman in uniform, he secretly pays their bill. What a wonderful idea! I think more of us should go out of our way every day to show our appreciation, but I'm glad there is at least one special day where we shine a spotlight on them, remember their sacrifices and make clear our gratitude.

Thank you Daddy, Tom, Pop, Buster, Donnie, Uncle Bobby, Uncle Howard, Kenny, Steve, Joe, Robbie, John, Sheila, Michael, Tom, Lynn, Robbin, Evan...and all of the other Veterans, past and present, out there! Because of you, we're free to go about our daily lives, without a thought in the world to how much that freedom costs or how much you've given.

But let's hope we do remember the price, as well as those who, through their actions, say "Don't worry. I got this."

(If this sounds familiar, it's a re-post from last year and the year before and the year before, with just a few tweeks.)

Doodles and More

I opened the mailbox Friday morning on my way to work, expecting the usual foul contents - bills and junk mail. And there it was, sitting on top of the pile like a glittering jewel - a package containing a T-shirt from my artistic, doodling, blogging friend Cyndee Starr, aka She Who Doodles.

 

 

I can't remember how or when Cyndee and I first connected in the blog world, but I've been a fan of her art for awhile, following her projects on Eloise's Collage first, and then, as she honed her doodling skills, on She Who Doodles.

When I gushed over her T-shirts, she offered to send me one. Of course, I said yes!! You can see why!

Mine is hand-doodled, but she has had such a demand for them, she is having her original designs screenprinted onto shirts. They'll be offered on her Etsy shop soon, so you, too, can have a shirt by Cyndee...er, that is, by She Who Doodles!

 

Thank you again, Cyndee!! Please remember me when you're famous!

 

Finding that shirt in my mailbox was a sweet! moment for sure, and here are a few more from the past few days...

 

Tuesday: an outside lunch with friends, on a patio perched in the trees; casting my vote in an important election; birthday parties; meeting the deadline on an article 

Wednesday: April, the Methodist Hospital follow-up nurse calling with information about house-call-making doctors for your parents; getting caught up on email; meeting a friend downtown for a glass of wine and window shopping for a good cause

Thursday: sleeping in; your puppy's exuberance at the sight of you; making progress on procrastinated projects

 

 

 

 

 

Friday: the sunrise through your home office window; packages in your mailbox; artistic friends; writings by middle-schoolers; spending most of your day in a library; getting paid to watch the opening scenes of Star Wars; a movie night with your sweetie (especially when the movie features Russell Crowe!)

Saturday: a morning walk with your husband before heading to work; surviving a dizzy-busy, stressful day without screaming out loud once

 

 

 

I'm heading back to my parents' after work tomorrow, to take Daddy to a follow-up doctor's appointment and celebrate Mama's 81st birthday.

My insides are starting to get a little wobbly from all the time on the road, the unfinished business, loose ends, deadlines, and dangling promises I know are waiting impatiently for me at home...not to mention being away from Tom so much. 

But I'm grateful to be able to go and help, to be able to celebrate my wonderful mother.

I hope you have a wonderful week full of love and celebration as well!

 

 

 

 

My Village

Summer and autumn traded places while I was gone. The purple flowers have faded, and the splashes of gold have moved from the blossoms that used to line the road up to the trees.

It's amazing the change a few days can make.

 

“Friends show their love in times of trouble.” ~ Euripes

I drove home from my parents Friday afternoon. I was scheduled to work Saturday and Sunday... plus I missed Tom, the puppies, my bed, my dirt road, the sound and smell of the woods...

Still, it was tough leaving, especially after spending the previous night in the Emergency Room. Mama fell in the bathroom around 1 in the morning, whacking her head hard enough on the floor to bring up an instant bruise, huge and purple as a plum.

Hallelujah, she passed the catscan, X-rays, blood and urine tests, and I drove us all home just as the sun rose red on the horizon. While they slept, I got her prescriptions filled and gathered my things, then before leaving, sat with Mama to fill out and submit applications for Medicare Part D, which covers prescriptions. I found out from the pharmacist that Daddy hasn't been getting a lot of his meds filled. When I asked Daddy about it, he said they were too expensive.

(Of course, Daddy doesn't think they're necessary, anyway, and that not taking them has nothing to do with the recent blockage in his carotid artery. I disagree.)

Anyway, by the time I crawled into my own bed Friday evening, I had somehow been up for 36 hours, running on nervous energy and a few cups of coffee, my mind in a whirl, wondering and worrying about leaving Mama and Daddy there alone. 

It helped knowing my sweet sons were heading the opposite way in the morning, planning to spend the weekend with their grandparents. Tommy took my dad grocery shopping. (I had gone to the store several times, but only bought them healthy stuff, considering Daddy's diabetic and all. I didn't ask what they bought this time.)

And what a relief when my friend Rae called letting me know she had picked up Whataburgers for the whole crew Saturday evening, and again on Sunday, when another longtime friend Debbie and her mom dropped in on them with KFC. Debbie just lives around the corner from my parents and has urged them to call if they need anything at all.

My sister Brenda and her husband will also pick up groceries and run other errands as needed, and Brenda is working on filling out the Veteran's Administration Compensation forms. Plus home health care started today with a visit from a nurse.

Mama and Daddy's neighbors Hector and Estella have also stressed to call them or knock on their door if they need anything at all, and they've been dropping food off for my parents for years now.

Sigh. Such a relief!

It's still tough being so far away. We've tried for years to get them to move closer, and have now started trying to persuade them to move in with us, but no luck, and I don't anticipate them changing their minds.

So knowing all of these wonderful people are close, holding hands around them, ready to catch them if they fall...well, there are really no words to express how much that means to me and the peace of mind it gives. 

It's beyond sweet!, that's for sure.

Best friends are those who make your problems their problems so you don't have to go through them alone.

~ unknown 

I hope I'm that kind of friend.

And now for a few sweet!s from the past week... 

 

Sunday: the full moon keeping you company on an evening drive to Houston; seeing your Daddy back home after a major surgery; your son letting you know he made it home safely, too; an email asking to share your photos of a Futuro Home

Monday: making progress on editing the photos from your latest photo shoot; plumbing fixes that are easy and inexpensive; taking care of things for your parents; a late afternoon walk around your old block

Tuesday: word from your relatives and friends on the east coast that they made it through Hurricane Sandy relatively okay; more progress on photo editing; sweet neighbors; hearing that your dad doesn't need cataract surgery yet

Wednesday: happy photography customers; running for the first time in two weeks; knowing exactly what to get your mom for an early birthday present; trick-or-treaters; a call from your son

Thursday: the smiling faces of friends dropping by to see you and your parents; finally getting your dad to follow his morning medication regimen; home health nurses; online bill paying from anywhere; watching Ellen with your mom; hearing your parents kiss goodnight 

Friday: angels who protect and cushion your mom when she falls so she isn't seriously injured; being there for your parents in an emergency; "character" patients you can listen to when you have to spend the night in the Emergency Room; staying wide awake for 36 hours so you can finish up tasks for your parents and still safely drive home, despite huge traffic jams; the autumn sun setting in the Texas Hill Country

Saturday: time for a walk with your husband and puppies before heading to work; friends who voluntarily drop in and bring food to your parents; sons who want to spend the weekend with their grandparents

Sunday: worshiping with your husband; working within view of a vineyard in the Texas Hill Country on an autumn day

Monday: sleeping in; a long morning walk with your puppies and your camera; finding one Mexican hat blooming near your pond, reluctant to let go of summer; a haircut and color by awesome Michael

 

 

Hope your coming week is full of sweet! moments!

P.S. Tom's youngest brother John has spent the last 2 days in Intensive Care with asthma. According to the last report, he was off the ventilator and able to breathe again, and on the verge of leaving ICU for a regular room.

Great news! But please keep him in your prayers. Besides being a great brother and brother-in-law, husband, dad to four, and godfather to TG, he's an awesome Phoenix policeman. Click HERE to see how he coaxed a confession from a murderer several years ago.

P.S.S. In case I don't get a chance to post this tomorrow...GO VOTE!

 

Thanksgiving Comes First

Halloween is behind us. According to the calendar, the next holiday here in the states is Veteran's Day, followed by Thanksgiving, but have you noticed there are already Christmas commercials on the TV and jingle bells are taking over the stores?

For the third year in a row, I'm joining blogger "Suldog" Jim Sullivan in his outspoken stance on giving Thanksgiving its due time before we're all wrapped up in red and green and tied with a fancy bow. 

For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven...

~Eccleciastes 3:1

I wrote this last year, but it's still just as true:  This whole campaign isn't just about Thanksgiving. It's about time and seasons and silence and space and simplifying.

It's about focusing on one thing at a time and giving it all you've got, everything it deserves. It's about truly experiencing a season, thinking about what it means and being in the moment, not rushing ahead. 

If you feel you don't have enough time to prepare for Christmas if you wait until after Thanksgiving, perhaps you're making it too complicated. Trying to do too much. Focusing on the wrapping on the box instead of what's inside.

Time goes by too fast as it is and life has gotten more and more complicated. 

I’ve learned that we can do anything, but we can’t do everything… at least not at the same time. Timing is everything.

~Dan Millman 

Timing is everything. Let's take time to relish and focus. Let's slow down and simplify. Let's take things one at a time. 

But, as one friend said, "The only way you will EVER change this is to hit them in the pocketbook." So please join your voice and your pocketbook with me to remind the retailers that...

 

Please hop over and read Suldog's post HERE and another beautiful essay about Thanksgiving HERE. And if you're on Facebook, like the page HERE and then share it with your friends!

Okay, what the heck. While you're at it, click on the little "Share This" button at the bottom of my post to share it on Google+ or Facebook or Twitter or Pinterest or wherever you like to share. Help spread the word so our voices get LOUD. 

Small Stones from Methodist Hospital

Today is the first ever Mindful Writing Day, and I almost missed it.

Small Stones is a term used by Fiona Robyn, from Writing Our Way Home, to describe a moment when you stop, focus and really pay attention to one thing and write it down, using words that evoke the senses.

I began gathering my stones in Methodist Hospital last week, while waiting there with my mother during my dad's surgery. I'm not sure if I did it right, but in any case, these are a few stones I gathered to share. Others gathered today...more private...I've tucked away in my heart.

 

Low voices. Muffled laughter. Squeaks and rattles and hums of carts and curtains and beds. Seconds tick in slow motion. Nearness and life press into heart and memory.

Momma's breath, rising, falling in sleep. Curtain-filtered light softens the lines on her face so close to my own, erases the years to a time when she was the night watchman who guarded my slumber.

Hospital time, measured in tap-tap-taps of IV drips, a succession of television shows, and nurse visits. 

Purses and bags of hospital-waiting necessities dangle from above. Snacks, medicine, writing material, books. Daddy's street clothes rest in Mama's lap, wrapped in a clear bag. Excuse me, excuse me, and everyone smiles, opens doors, makes room for the pretty lady in the wheelchair and her klutzy driver.

 

Check out the other stones on Writing Our Way Home and on the Mindful Writing Day Facebook page. And join me in the Rivers of Stone Challenge this January - write one stone every day. 

 

"Pay more attention and fall in love with the world." ~ Fiona Robyn