Long Hollow

Reflections on Gratitude, and "Lasts" (and Happy Thanksgiving to you!)

 

There's a small pond tucked into the bottom of a hill down the road from our house. It can be counted on to hold water when the others have all dried up, deep enough that our Max puppy could really swim in it sometimes, not just wade. He loved it.  

 

One morning on our walk a few weeks before he left us, Max started up the trail that leads to the pond. I was nervous, because the sides of the pond are so steep and deep, and his legs were so weak, I knew if he went in, he'd never make it out by himself. 

But after just a few steps in the direction of the pond, he stopped and looked back at me, as if he was thinking the same thing. 

"Let's just go back to our pond, Max," I told him. "You can swim there."

He must have agreed, because he immediately turned around and headed back down the road to our house.

I visited that little pond yesterday morning for the first time since Max's last swim. I thought about him and all of the mornings Belle and I stood on the trail above the pond and waited for him while he soaked and swam.

I wondered if the last time he swam there, he knew it might be his last. (I know I didn't. He kept surprising me.)

Whether he realized it or not, I bet he cherished every minute of it, and gave thanks in whatever way dogs do that it was there. 

We rarely know when we're experiencing the "last" of something ... the last conversation or hug or kiss. The last walk with a beloved old puppy dog. Or the last Thanksgiving with a loved one.

All too often, we take it for granted there will be a "next time".  We're human, after all, and life moves fast. 

Last year we traveled to Houston to celebrate Thanksgiving a day late with my mom.  I knew it would be the last time we celebrated in my childhood home, and that knowledge weighed on me every minute.

It was also the first Thanksgiving without Daddy. I was grateful for the chance to be there for Mama, but it was definitely a bittersweet celebration. In fact, I completely forgot about it until my sister reminded me yesterday. 

I'd rather remember all the Thanksgivings there that came before it.

 

 

 

Today I'll be celebrating with my son, my daughter-in-law, and her extended family, just as we did last year. It might be a new tradition. It might not.

 

But it will be the "last" in some way, that's guaranteed, although I don't want to think about it like that. I just want to slow down and savor, to imprint the people I'm with and the moments of the day into my memory, and give thanks for them and all of the many blessings in my life...

...which includes you. I'm so grateful for you, and wish you a blessed Thanksgiving!

 

 

 

The Power of a Wheat Penny

Like my Daddy, and his daddy before him, I have a coin collection. My coins aren't categorized into small blue books like theirs, though. Mine -all wheat pennies - jingle around in an old bourbon bottle.

 

This doesn't look like much of a collection after fifty years, does it?

 

I'm not sure when or why I became enamored of wheat pennies. Maybe because they stopped being minted the year before I was born. Maybe because, as far as old coins go, they weren't that rare when I started.

 

Whatever the reason, I'm sure it was Daddy who introduced me to them and contributed the majority of them to my collection. Daddy had an eye for coins. He gave me every wheat penny he found, and his excitement at finding one in his change was contagious. I scoured every penny I came across for years, searching for those two stalks of wheat.

 

For some reason, whether lack of time (kids? life?) or lack of luck finding them, I stopped. 

But earlier this week, on a day when my heart was feeling pretty heavy and wheat pennies were the last thing on my mind, I was reaching for my computer bag on the backseat when I spotted one resting alone, wheat-side up, smack dab in the middle of the rear floorboard hump of my car.

I think somehow Daddy put it there for me, encouraging me to hang in there, reminding me that he always believed in me, and always will. 

Thank you, Daddy.

 

 

 

Here are a few other sweet!s from the past week...

 

Monday: finding out your kids survived their road trip, despite hitting a deer and encountering icy conditions; the knowledge that you did your best, even if things don't work out as well as you hoped; finding a wheat penny and feeling your daddy nearby

Tuesday: your mom agreeing to get out of bed, at least for a little while; meeting a new client in person; not having an accident in terrible stop-and-go traffic; a fun photo shoot with photogenic siblings

Wednesday: puppy kisses; continually learning; being able to offer support when loved ones lose their daddies

 

Thursday: free food and drinks, music, and a chance to catch up up with a sweet friend while touring beautiful new subdivisions; sunsets in the hill country; a Google City Expert event downtown with your son and daughter-in-law, where you get to sample some of the food, drink, and fun several Austin businesses have to offer

 

 

Friday: a Thanksgiving pot-luck gathering with your colleagues and time to visit with friends; clients ready to make an offer; still being able to talk to your mom about things weighing on your heart

Saturday: rain, rain, and more rain, but none of the dangerous thunderstorms that were predicted; watching yet another Wes Anderson movie with your son

Sunday: waking to sunshine and clear blue skies; the trickle of a little waterfall; a cousin who visits your mom and brings her gifts; a sliver moon floating on a sunset

 

 

Monday: watching the sun set treetops ablaze with golden morning light; forgiving yourself for not finishing your blog post on Sunday, as you intended; crossing a huge, dusty to-do off of your list

What was the sweetest moment of your past week? I hope this next one overflows with them for you.

Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance.

~Ruth E. Renkel

Birthday Snow

 

It snowed in Texas today, and it's not even Thanksgiving yet. 

Granted, it was in Lubbock, up in the Panhandle, farther north than most of Texas. My son and daughter-in-law (a Texas Tech graduate) were there this weekend, celebrating her birthday, and she welcomed the snow as a special birthday gift. (I just hope it doesn't interfere with their drive home!)

I'm glad she had a special day, and a fun weekend, because she is such a special young woman. I feel so blessed that she is part of our family.

A daughter is a gift of love.  ~Author Unknown

We've had unseasonably cold weather here in Austin, too, this past week. When winter decided to move south, it didn't waste any time. 

I'm enjoying the change, though. I love the way a brisk cold wind slaps me truly awake on morning walks and seems to blow through my brain, like Mary Poppins in the nursery, putting things in order.

I know I'll be ready for warm days way before they actually return, but for now I'll enjoy a different wardrobe, the smell of woodsmoke, and not having to douse myself with mosquito spray before my morning walk.

Yesterday morning I wandered down to the little pond and for a change was able to linger awhile, without mosquitoes buzzing my face. I watched tiny birds flit from tree to tree, chattering to each other. A few American Beautyberries still graced a bush by the edge of the pond, but the paved terrace was littered with gold and rust colored leaves. 

It was a typical Austin winter day and I won't complain, but I'll still keep my fingers crossed that at least one of these Canadian blasts brings a little snow with it all the way to Long Hollow.

 

Here are a few more sweet! moments from the past week...

 

Monday - your mom agreeing to get out of bed for physical therapy; sticking to your healthy eating regimen

Tuesday - the briskness of that first really cold morning; helping college students find housing; remembering those who sacrifice to keep your country safe

 

 

Wednesday: beautiful weather when showing properties; the first fire of the season; your mom up eating in the dining room when you expected to find her still lying in bed

Thursday: hot showers on cold mornings; helping your mom celebrate her birthday again; a haircut and re-blonding, a la Michael; homemade chili on a cold night

Friday: finding out you used to work with your new client's stepfather; discovering a healthy fast food restaurant; a husband who can start a fire in the blink of an eye

 

 

Saturday: your puppy letting you sleep in; a leisurely morning walk to your small pond with your puppy; working out details for a contract; a break from work to enjoy a Wes Anderson double-feature with your son

Sunday: Chicken Adobo that is yummy and easy to make; more time than usual to visit your mom; help getting groceries into the house on cold, misty evenings

I hope all of you had a great week (share your sweet!s in the comments!) and I hope this winter is just the right kind for you.

 

 There is a privacy about it which no other season gives you.... In spring, summer and fall people sort of have an open season on each other; only in the winter, in the country, can you have longer, quiet stretches when you can savor belonging to yourself.

~Ruth Stout

Mama taught me... (Lesson #83 and happy birthday, Mama!)

 

My mother, who was born with a spirit of independence and "where there's a will there's a way" ... who was my quadriplegic brother's primary caregiver even while working full-time ... who others (not just family) always turned to for help ...

... well, now she is dependent on a machine for oxygen, a wheelchair for mobility, and other people to help her with practically everything else. 

She tries hard not to push that little white button that will summon help. Not because of false pride, but because she doesn't want to abuse the assistance.

She knows from personal experience how exhausting it can be, mentally and physically, to help a person with all of their basic needs, and she truly appreciates the aides who help her with hers.  She hears other residents complaining, whining, constantly asking for help, so Mama tries to make sure she only calls when it's a real need.

(Sometimes she misjudges - and breaks her femur.)

When the aides and nurses come to help, she jokes with them and smiles often. So naturally, it seems they stop by to see her more often than the other residents. Wouldn't you?

She's a smart lady, my Mama. 

But she has no ulterior motive in being pleasant. She just truly appreciates how hard they work.

 

They're not gray hairs. They're wisdom highlights.

~Author Unknown

Today is her 83rd birthday. We had a little party on Sunday, but the celebration has continued with cards and cookies arriving in the mail, and visitors bringing more sweets and balloons. I think she stayed in bed all day, which has always been one of her favorite pasttimes. 

On her 77th birthday, I listed the things she had taught me in a blog post, and I've added to it every year. So without further ado, here's the list...

 

Things Mama has taught me...

1. it's never too late to learn something new
2. if you have a choice between laughter and tears, choose laughter.
3. don't let anyone mess with your babies!
4. only give advice when asked for it (I'm still working on that one)
5. pray every day
6. pray some more
7. reading a good book might not solve your problems, but it's a nice escape from them
8. bend but never break
9. some people are just takers
10. be nice whenever possible, but sometimes nice doesn't cut it
11. take care of family
12. we're all individuals - let your kids blossom into themselves, not "mini-me's"
13. be there
14. Johnny Weismuller is the best movie Tarzan
15. don't be in a rush to be older than you are - you're only going to be this age once in your life
16. if you like something, and you'll use it, and you can afford it, then buy it, or you'll regret it later
17. quality over quantity
18. never think "can't"
19. people will stand in line for a dead skunk if it's free
20. roll with the punches
21. have fun
22. laugh often
23. believe in yourself
24. don't let others change who you are
25. be honest
26. don't steal
27. forgive yourself
28. God loves me
29. don't judge
30. just do it!
31. inside matters more than outside
32. don't use God's name in vain
33. you can learn anything if you put your mind to it
34. you're never too old to dance
35. it's okay to ask for help
36. show appreciation and express gratitude
37. use my manners
38. consider the source
39. an office or position of authority should be respected, but the individual in that position has to earn your respect
40. sleep is good
41. take advantage of opportunities
42. keep your eyes open and your wits about you
43. people aren't always nice
44. things can't make you happy
45. use your imagination
46. just get started and the rest will be easy
47. don't be intimidated by anyone - we're all the same, all human, we all have strengths and weaknesses
48. you can love someone even if you don't like them
49. forgive but don't forget
50. learn from others' mistakes
51. there are times for being patient, and time for putting your foot down
52. speak up
53. stand up for what you believe in
54. admit your mistakes and expect others to do the same
55. persistance pays off
56. let your kids be kids
57. love unconditionally
58. take lots of pictures
59. kids grow up fast
60. your kids need a mother, not another friend
61. pets are family
62. help others
63. a sense of humor is essential for sanity and survival
64. if you look close enough, you can find something to love about everyone
65. coffee is good anytime
66. messes can be cleaned up
67. prayer works
68. God is strong all the time - let him carry you
69. if you say you're going to do something, do it
70. be nice to yourself in case no one else is
71. you have to show respect to get respect
72. girls are tough
73. don't put up with temper tantrums
74. listen to your body - doctors don't know everything
75. don't say everything you're thinking
76. asking questions is the best way to learn something
77. your babies are always your babies (and their babies are your babies, too!)
78. God is. 
79. Just listen. 
80. people are more important than things
    
81. there is a time to help others, and a time to let others help you
82. God has his reasons, and He will give you whatever strength you need for the road ahead...and never leave you to walk it alone.
83. smile and show appreciation to those who are willing to help you - they may have it tougher than you in many ways

Don't worry. I got this.

"Lord, if your people need me, I will not refuse the work. Your will be done."

~St. Martin of Tours

 

 

My big brother Buster was headed to Viet Nam, saying his goodbyes, when I stood beside him in this photograph and smiled. I had no idea what was ahead of him. This was probably taken before his first tour of duty and so he had only a vague idea himself what to expect.

When he volunteered for his second tour, however, he knew full well what he was stepping into...but he did it anyway. 

 

 

My dad was in high school when the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor. He joined the Navy soon after high school graduation because his country was at war and "it was the thing to do." 

In the next twenty-two months he traveled a long way from Texas aboard the U.S.S. Geneva...to places like the Philippines, the Marshall Islands, China, Burma, Japan.

Before he turned twenty, he had seen cities that had been destroyed by war and piles of dead bodies waiting to be buried. 

A few years later, his little brother Bobby followed his lead and joined the Navy, and many years later, so did my brother Donnie and two nephews.

 

Pop, my wonderful father-in-law, missed out on World War II, but joined the Air Force in time for the Korean War. He worked base supply in Okinawa, supporting bombers flying missions to Korea...about 100 aircraft every day.

He re-enlisted, got married, and hopped around the globe...living in England, Germany, and over a year in Pakistan, separated from his family (the other heroes - Mom had 8 teenage and younger boys to deal with by herself!)...visiting a dozen other countries...eventually staying put for awhile in Maryland, working with NSA (and a second job at the bowling alley to make ends meet), until his retirement.

A lifetime of service and sacrifice for this country.

 

 

My husband Tom was raised in that military family. For him it was normal to move every few years to someplace completely different...by the time he was eight or nine years old, he had lived in three countries!

He grew up on a tight budget ... hand-me-downs, powdered milk and only two cookies a day...period! And yet as soon as he could, he joined the service...the Coast Guard. Among other things, he helped rescue fisherman off the coast of Alaska.

Four of his brothers also joined the service (three career Air Force, just like their dad, and another Coast Guard) and the youngest joined the Army Reserves. Now the next generation is following in their footsteps: two Air Force and one Coast Guard.

I think it's very fitting that Veterans Day shares November with Thanksgiving, a day when we slow down to remember and be grateful for things that we usually take for granted, because veterans, despite the sacrifices they make for all of us, probably don't even make it onto our Thanksgiving thank-you list.

That's how much most of us take them for granted - as well as the freedoms they protect for us. Even when our country isn't at war, they go where they are needed to unfamiliar places, away from extended family, often living on a minimum salary.

To many, they are a symbol of war, not peace, and sadly become targets of derision, scorn, blame... and even violence, like the sad incident at Ft. Hood a few years ago.

They deserve to be thanked every day of the year. A friend of mine says that when he's in a restaurant and sees a man or woman in uniform, he secretly pays their bill. What a wonderful idea! I think more of us should go out of our way every day to show our appreciation, but I'm glad there is at least one special day where we shine a spotlight on them, remember their sacrifices and make clear our gratitude.

Thank you Daddy, Tom, Pop, Buster, Donnie, Uncle Bobby, Uncle Howard, Kenny, Steve, Joe, Robbie, John, Sheila, Michael, Tom, Lynn, Robbin, Evan...and all of the other Veterans, past and present, out there! Because of you, we're free to go about our daily lives, without a thought in the world to how much that freedom costs or how much you've given.

But let's hope we do remember the price, as well as those who, through their actions, say "Don't worry. I got this."

(If this sounds familiar, it's a re-post from last year and the year before and the year before, with just a few tweeks. With the passing of Daddy, my Uncle Bobby, and Pop in recent years, and my brother Buster years ago, this day feels especially poignant. I don't want their service to be forgotten.)

 

 

Party Girl

 

This evening my family commandeered the sunroom where my mom lives to celebrate her 83rd birthday a few days early. It was the only day we could all be together, but besides that, when you're turning 83, you really should start celebrating early, don't you think?

 

 

I know Mama loves being with all of my kids, but I also know that if her birthday wish had come true, we would have been sharing fajitas, chocolate cake, and stories around our old kitchen table in our house in Deepwater, and Daddy would have been there with us, too... in body, not just in spirit.  

When you live long enough, there's often bitter mixed with the sweet.

But I think it's important to focus on the sweet, which for me was having my husband, my mom, every one of my kids, and even my grandpuppy Josie all together this evening. That doesn't happen often enough these days.

Here are some other sweet!s from the past week...

 

 

Monday: morning skies; working out for the first time in a week; the arrival of your new boots in the mail

Tuesday: catching up with a friend while on a property tour through the Texas hill country; the tug on your heart when you see the final resting spot of some beloved pets nestled under a tree; the freedom to vote, and standing in a line to exercise that right

 

 

Wednesday: walking in the rain with your puppy, the sound of raindrops on your umbrella your soundtrack; new clients; winning a gift card to Panera Bread

Thursday: customer service people who truly care about customer service; a husband who knows how to find great deals on Craig's List... in particular treadmills and ellipticals so you don't have to run on your caliche road

 

 

Friday: the return of sunshine to your Hollow; trees dressed in their autumn colors; finishing something you've wanted to do all week; not having to wear huge bandaids on your elbows anymore

 

 

Saturday: discovering a living jewel crawling on your road; baby showers; watching a movie with your mom; an overdue get-together with friends

 

Sunday: a walk through the woods with your puppy before Mass; talking real estate with Realtor friends; celebrating your mom's birthday early with all of your kids and your grandpuppy

 

 

 Hundreds of dewdrops to greet the dawn,
Hundreds of bees in the purple clover,
Hundreds of butterflies on the lawn,
But only one mother the wide world over.
~George Cooper

 

  

What were the sweet moments of your past week? Please share them in the comments. I hope you have twice as many in the coming week!

I took a walk...

 

After a long day of driving and showing houses to clients all over Austin, then a never-long-enough visit with my mom, I arrived back home yesterday evening just as the sun started its goodbyes. The light was golden, the sky a crisp and an ever-deepening blue. 

I set aside the list of things I still needed to do and headed down my caliche road with Belle, feeling lighter with every step.

"Solvitur ambulando, St. Jerome was fond of saying. To solve a problem, walk around."

~Gregory McNamee

 

 

"The night walked down the sky with the moon in her hand."

~Frederick L. Knowles

 

Along the way, our new neighbors overtook us on their 4-wheel drive ATV, their golden retriever running alongside them. Belle and I heard them coming, stepped off the road, and waited. 

When the golden spotted us, he veered over to investigate. I'm ashamed to tell you that Belle wasn't very friendly to him. However, she responded to my commands and stayed beside me.

The golden couldn't help himself. He kept coming around to investigate. They finally all turned and headed back to their house, and we continued on our walk, once again enjoying the last rays of the sun and the peace of the Hollow, despite the interruption. 

 

 

 

Then, as usual, Belle and I headed out again this morning for a walk before church.

Near the curve of the road, we encountered neighbors who live up the hill. They like to walk their three dogs on our road.

This time Belle minded her manners and stayed friendly. Unfortunately, two of theirs weren't so friendly. One - the largest one - even lunged at Belle. No actual contact was made, thank goodness.

The owner scolded it, grabbed it by its collar, and they headed on down the road in one direction while we continued on our walk in the other. 

Sigh. Our road is getting much too crowded. And perhaps I'm becoming a snob. Or a hermit.

 

 

 

Belle is a fast walker. To keep up with her - and to get in a little work-out, not to mention save time, on busy mornings - I've started jogging. 

I stopped jogging on our road a few years ago because it's made of caliche... essentially gravel and loose rocks on top of uneven solid rock. It's tough on the feet and there's a high risk of tripping or twisting your ankle. 

But (did I mention this already?) Belle walks really, really fast. She needs the exercise, and I need the exercise, and this past week has been so crazy busy that there was no other time to work-out otherwise.

I never saw that rock. The one that reached up and grabbed my toe, sending me flying and slipping an anticipatory curse word into my Rosary.

I mostly landed on my forearms, sliding a few centimeters along the gravel. I'm now sporting huge bandaids on my elbows and one knee, and bruises are still popping up on my arms and left leg.

But...nothing was broken, except skin. Not even my phone.

That's pretty amazing and sweet! when you get to be my age!

Here are a few other sweet!s from the past week...

 

Tuesday: a new client and a referral from a colleague; dinner and reminiscing with your sister, her friend, and your cousin; a sweet card in the mail from your work family

 

 

Wednesday: taking classes so you can stay informed about your business; your puppy barking in her sleep behind you as you work; new clients

 

 

Thursday: not breaking anything except skin when you trip and fall while running on your caliche road with your puppy; closings and happy clients; finally meeting a client in person for the first time after helping her relocate from Illinois to Texas; networking with friends/colleagues and meeting new ones; bumping into a high school friend of your son's; trying new restaurants with your daughter

 

 

 

Friday: watching the sunrise color a gray world; corn chowder a la the Avenue B Grocery, eaten outside on a gorgeous autumn day; a text containing a photo of your sweet great-niece dressed up for Halloween

 

Saturday: helping the daughter of a high school friend find a home in Austin; exploring homes all around the University of Texas with college girls; finding out your phone isn't completely dead; a walk on a country road at dusk with your puppy after a long day

 

 

Sunday: discovering your husband and son made it home safe in the middle of the night from their Arkansas canoeing adventure; a glimpse of their adventure through their photographs; your son relocating a turtle to a pond with water in it; commemorating All Soul's Day with a candlelight ceremony outside of your church

"Is death the last sleep? No, it is the last and final awakening. "

~ Sir Walter Scott

 

 As always, please share your sweet moments from the past week in the comments!