Long Hollow

Memories, and other sweet!s

 

"...remember someone said that God gave us memory so that we might have roses in December...."

~J.M. Barrie, "Courage" (The Rectorial Address Delivered at St. Andrews University, 1922 May 3rd)

 

There are some days when the not-so-sweet! seems to overshadow the sweet! Yesterday was one of those days.

First, I heard of the passing of a high school classmate from a form of brain cancer. I didn't know her well in high school, but at our last reunion I had the chance to visit with her. She was an opera singer and graciously agreed to sing for a few of us at an after-reunion gathering.

Her voice was simply amazing; I can't help but think God called her home to sing with his angels. 

I don't count her death as a sweet!, of course, but the chance to finally connect with her decades beyond high school, her impromptu performance, and the magic of her voice, will remain sweet memories.

Rest in peace, Melinda, and let your voice join those of the angels...

 

 

Later in the day, I got word that one of my favorite human-beings had also passed away unexpectedly. Bill was my cousin's husband, but Sheryl is one of the oldest cousins and I am the youngest, so he had been a part of my life for as long as I could remember. His daughters are just a few years younger than I am. 

He was a hardworking, gentle giant, devoted to family and friends, especially his wife, daughters, and their families, who are truly heartbroken now, especially since Sheryl's father recently passed away, as well. 

From all accounts Bill was a reluctant Texan, always hoping to return to his beloved Colorado, but providing for his family was top priority.

I'm glad he stayed put in Texas, so that he was a frequent part of my life, but I like to think God made sure Bill's heaven looks a lot like the Rocky Mountains, like in this old photo I found in my grandmother's slides of him, Sheryl, and their firstborn. 

May you rest in peace, Bill...

 

 

An easy thing, O power divine, to thank Thee for these gifts of Thine,

For summer's sunshine, winter's snow, for hearts that kindle, thoughts that glow;

But when shall I attain to this - to thank Thee for the things I miss?

~ Thomas Wentworth Higginson

 

In every day there are going to be dark clouds that distract you from the sweet!s left in your path as a gift. Don't forget to keep your eyes open for them... and remember to say thank you!

Here are some I jotted in my journal or captured in a photo since my last post...

Hummingbirds buzzing close and hovering; feeling rested even though you woke up at 3 a.m. and couldn't go back to sleep; reconnecting with old friends on Facebook

Gorgeous, cooler summer days, after weeks of rain and/or double digit temperatures; news that someone dear to you is improved enough to move from ICU into a regular room, and that there's still hope his cancer can be beaten; Facebook reminding you of sweet mornings spent on your back deck with three of your favorite guys, who you truly miss ...

 

 

A "catch-up" email from a friend; a call from a potential buyer for one of your listings; torrential rain holding off until after your morning walk with your puppy.

A long visit with a friend after church; yummy breakfast burritos sold by the Knights of Columbus to raise money for the victims of the floods in Louisiana; a referral from a friend; rain holding off while you get to and from the grocery store; finally getting to play and snuggle with your foster-grandpuppies before they are adopted; babies who will soon be baptized being introduced to the parish

 

 

Making progress on sorting through the boxes from your parents' home that are piled in the middle of your living room, without getting emotionally overwhelmed; a referral for an out-of-town buyer from an agent/friend; dinner with friends at Stubbs Barbecue; enjoying Finite Fidelity's performance at Stubbs afterward, featuring your friend's son on the drums

 

 

 

Following through on promises; a good check-up at the dentist; memories of experiencing Hurricane Alicia in League City with your husband shortly after celebrating your first anniversary, and being grateful you suffered very little damage; a blossom finally appearing on one of your crape myrtles, thanks to all of the rain

 

 

Your friends home safe from their adventure to Rio de Janeiro to watch the Olympics; finally being able to walk your puppy after three solid days of rain; great customer service at ATT when your iPhone decides to shatter on its millionth drop; getting a listing lead from another customer while you're there

 

 

Making plans for your annual girls' weekend at the coast; your church holding a clothing drive for the Louisiana flood victims; viewing several gorgeous homes with a buyer-client, including one that made you feel you had somehow stepped through the door into Italy

 

 

Whataburger, for the first time in months; watching "Community" with your son from the beginning; finding a card your best friend sent to your parents when your grandmother passed away twenty years ago; stepping out of a meeting just in time to see this sunset...

 

 

And last but not least, the things your grandmother kept in her purse...

 

 

I hope you are always able to spot the sweet!s in your path, and that your good memories never fade...

Rain. A sweet! for me... a curse for others.

 

 

Our rain started last night. A determined, confident rain that would match any long-distance runner in the Olympics... persistent and focused. I can hear it even now, picking up a second wind, stepping up its pace. 

However, except for a few low-water crossings, and unlike poor Louisiana, thank the good Lord there haven't been any dangerous flash floods here. That might change in the next day or so, because the ground is now saturated, but considering how dry we were, it's kind of amazing we didn't have any before now. 

This afternoon I even spotted a few buds on my crape myrtle - that hasn't happened in a long time! (I would say "in a few years" but I know how faulty my memory is; it could have been just 6 months ago. Sigh.) 

I feel so bad for Louisiana, though, although my friends there have reported in and are high and dry so far, thank goodness. Please keep everyone there in your prayers.

 

And now for some other sweet!s over the past couple of weeks...

 

Taking two classes about pricing properties from a teacher who believes in giving out goodies while sharing her knowledge, and earning the Pricing Strategy Advisor  designation in the process.

Your sister coming to your rescue with advice on how to get more storage on your iPhone.

 

Remembering your first married kiss on your 34th wedding anniversary

The movie "Princess Bride" for the millionth time. It never gets old. 

 

The cuteness of the pitbull/black lab puppies your son and daughter-in-law are fostering.

Your son and daughter-in-law fostering puppies!

Making progress on emptying the boxes that gather dust in the middle of your living room. 

Being able to attend the funeral and offer condolences when your sister-in-law's father passes away

A new buyer asking for your help

Remembering to sell raffle tickets to raise money for your church (ask me about them!)

 

Pink sunrises

A phone call with your mother-in-law, verifying she's okay after her area has been pounded with rain

Store clearance racks

Knowing your sister was having a lot of fun on her birthday

Meeting up with a dear friend at a Greek restaurant for lunch to celebrate her birthday (double sweet!)

 

Lunch with another friend at Chuey's to commemorate the 2nd anniversary of the closing on her first home

Hitching a ride with your husband to an early class in town, and a ride home with your son

Your husband making it home safe and sound when his transmission goes out on his truck one night, and when all the tread flies off of his tire on another night. 

A friend passing her test to become a REALTOR® and choosing you as her sponsor

Making it onto your company's Top Producer list 3 months in a row, and the August Home Run list

Finding a tiny red feather in the bird bath

Past clients leaving awesome reviews for you on several different social media sites

 

Finishing an awesome book written by your neighbor

Having your 4th article published in TexasHillCountry.com... this time about the Johnson City Ghost

Visiting a past client who is still really happy about the home he purchased two years ago

Nine hours of sleep (in one night!)

 

Your hummingbird plant finally blooming!

 

I hope you are able to find sweet!s in your day, even if you are caught up in a catastrophe like the floods in Louisiana. I do believe there is light even on the darkest days. If we look hard enough, we'll see it.

 

"To the lamp of love:  may it burn brightest in the darkest hours and never flicker in the winds of trial."  ~Author Unknown

 

 

Thirty-Four Years... wait, thirty-four years?

 

One thing you learn in a long marriage is how many sneezes to wait before saying, "Bless you."

~Robert Brault

 

 

Aren't we cute? It's hard to believe that was 34 years ago.

Well, actually what's hard for me to believe is we're 34 years older than we were in that photo! We were newly pronounced man and wife, and eager to move forward together as one, beginning with a honeymoon in the Bahamas. 

And that's how I still picture us in my mind.

 

One of the good things that come of a true marriage is, that there is one face on which changes come without your seeing them; or rather there is one face which you can still see the same, through all the shadows which years have gathered upon it.

~George MacDonald

 

Thirty-four years  have passed in a blur of laughter, tears, frustration, relief, adventure, illness, challenge, excitement, celebration, perseverance, love, forgiveness, and blessings too numerous to count. 

 

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

~ 1 Corinthians 13:7

 

I didn't realize it at the time, of course, but looking back it's easy to see that God directed our footsteps to each other. As I mentioned in my last post, I believe God gives us what we need to get over the bumps he knows we will encounter in our lives. I also believe he provides what we need to challenge us and make us the best 'us' we can be, if we let him. 

And while I don't always see it or appreciate it enough, Tom has definitely done both for me, supporting and indulging me in my dreams ... encouraging, challenging, and believing in me when my self-confidence wavers. 

Through him, because of him, I rediscovered my faith and God's great love. And I wouldn't have survived the past few years without that. 

I can only hope Tom feels I've been more of a blessing than a curse in his life, too. I think too often he believes I have this philosophy...

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

~Rita Rudner

 

For all of you youngsters just starting out, wondering what the secret is to a long marriage, I'll confess that I'm still not sure. But I do have three tips:

1. Ask God to help you love your spouse with His love (because yours won't be enough sometimes!)

2. Procrastination can be your friend. 

3. I didn't think of this one, but it's a good one: "To keep the fire burning brightly there's one easy rule: Keep the two logs together, near enough to keep each other warm and far enough apart — about a finger's breadth — for breathing room. Good fire, good marriage, same rule." ~Marnie Reed Crowell

 

Happy 34th anniversary to my amazing, crazy, gifted, stubborn, generous Tom. I give thanks every single day for you, and for all of the beautiful, tiny threads of our life that bind us together.

 

Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years.

~Simone Signoret

 

Sweet is the voice of a sister...

 

Sweet is the voice of a sister in the season of sorrow, and wise is the counsel of those who love us.

~Benjamin Disraeli

 

When Mama found out she was pregnant with me, she and Daddy already had three children... Buster, 11; Brenda, 7; and Donnie, 4.

Brenda, sandwiched between those two rowdy boys, told Mama, "If that's another boy, I'll just scream!" and Mama said "I'll join you!" Mama loved to tell me that story, and I loved to hear it!

God, in his infinite mercy, sent them a baby girl (me!), but he also had mercy on me by sending me to them. I believe God, knowing what is to come in our lives, gives us whatever we need to get over the bumps, and for me, that started with my family, including - and maybe, especially - my sister, Brenda. 

 

"And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus."

~ Philippians 4:19

From my first breath, she has been there for me, right next to my mother and father, loving me with that same unconditional love that now causes her to relate stories of my brattiness - like hitting a friend of hers with a baton when I was three and they were eleven because they wouldn't let me play Monopoly - as if that was the cutest thing in the world!

Monopoly-exclusion aside, for the most part she always made me feel like a peer, letting me tag along with her and her boyfriends, or even just doing things with me, like going to the movies or the beach or on road trips to visit our grandparents.

I've already written about those days here and here and here. And last year I wrote here about how grateful I was to have her by my side as we said goodbye to our childhood home.

But I've never been more grateful to God for my big sister than this past year when she joined me to stand vigil by Mama's side in the hospital as we said goodbye.

Brenda worried she would just be more trouble for me, or get in my way, because her Parkinson's makes it difficult for her to walk. And that first night was difficult, because my house is such a physical challenge. For one thing, there's a 30 to 40 foot inclined stone path leading to our front door. It's beautiful, and I love it, but it's even difficult for me to get up and down it sometimes. 

So we opted to stay in a hotel close to the hospital the rest of the time she was here. Much easier on both of us. And the memories of us grabbing something to eat, then watching HGTV together in our hotel room while sipping on tiny bottles of Cabernet, will forever soften the overall heartache of my mother's passing.

Brenda's presence recharged me... helped me recognize the grace and love surrounding us... and gave me the strength and clarity I needed to let go. 

I realize God put me in my sister's life for a reason, too, and I only hope that she feels I've been as much of a gift and blessing as she's been to me all of my life. 

Today is her birthday. To celebrate, she traveled to Louisiana yesterday for a night of gambling, and I'm happy to report she won;  she's a craps and blackjack queen. I'm grateful she's surrounded by friends who love her, since I'm hours away, to be sure she receives even a portion of the love and laughter she gives to others. 

 

A sister is a gift to the heart, a friend to the spirit, a golden thread to the meaning of life.

~Isadora James

 

Amen!

Happy birthday to my beautiful big sister, Brenda! I love you!

 

 

 

 

Getting Unstuck, and other sweet!s...

 

 

At the time of my last 'sweet' post, I mentioned going through one of the boxes of my mom's things and crying when I came across her uneaten Easter candy. In all honesty, I fell into a funk that day that I just couldn't shake... like a perpetual gray cloud was hovering above my head.

Usually those gray clouds only stick around a day. I'm pretty good at focusing on the positive out of habit. I listen mostly to Christian stations in my car (upbeat and positive, nothing depressing or sad ... music is powerful!)  and have learned to silence those negative voices in my head before they really get going.

After all, I've spent the last few years stepping forward in faith and dealing with a lot of transition - I wouldn't have survived otherwise. But even though this was a relatively thin gray cloud, it lingered for days.

And then the phrase "stuck in a moment" popped in my head. I realized that's exactly where I was - stuck in a moment that I couldn't get out of. 

I dug out a U2 CD and popped it in. The first song that played was "It's a Beautiful Day"... and it was like someone jerked aside the curtains and let sunshine into a room. Yes, it really was a beautiful day, or at least it was going to be. I was determined not to let another one get away without seeing some beauty in it.

I could sense the gray cloud thinning even more. 

"Stuck in a Moment" came on a few songs later...

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment and now you can't get out of it
Don't say that later will be better, now
You're stuck in a moment and you can't get out of it.

By the end of the song, that gray cloud was gone. 

I still have a mountain of my parents' things piled in the middle of my living room waiting for me to sort through. I know that gray cloud will drift in again - sometimes I can sense it there on the edge - but it's good to know U2 has my back. And it's good to feel the sunshine with no clouds blocking it. Definitely sweet!

 

 

 

I met up with two dear friends for lunch a couple of days ago in a funky little part of south Austin. While munching on Torchy's Tacos (I recommend the "Crossroads"!), we tried to cram as much conversation and cover as many subjects as possible in the short time we had. The more history you have with someone, the more ground you have to cover in a 'catch-up' session, and we all have a lot of history with each other, spanning decades.

Exactly three weeks ago I was doing the same thing, only on a grander scale and spanning a weekend, in a lake house at Lake Livingston with 16 other women I've known since at least high school, but some since elementary school. We call ourselves the Deer Park Divas, and try to get together at least once a year, but that doesn't always happen. This was the first one in a couple of years and was only possible because two of the women opened up their lake houses to us. And of course, there are many who couldn't make it.

I've hosted a couple and it's a lot of work, so I truly appreciate them putting together this therapy session... 

... because when you get together with friends who have known you for decades, you can't help but be yourself. You can pretty much talk about anything without fear of judgement because they know you... the all of you... and because everyone has been through something by now, and survived.

They remind you you will survive whatever it is you're going through at the moment. Or, you'll be able to assure someone else they will survive whatever they are experiencing, because you've been through it. 

That's the key.

No matter what it is, we're assured we can survive it, because of our friends. Divorce, cancer, death of a sibling, a husband, a child... and almost all of us have experienced the death of at least one parent. In fact, one friend lost her mother right before the weekend, and another lost her dad two weeks after, both from cancer. She couldn't stay the night because she needed to take him for a treatment early the next morning.

Yet, look... there are smiles on everyone's faces!

I have some tough, awesome, wonderful, amazing friends, don't I? I'm grateful for the history we share. 

 

 

 (This was a magnet I gave my mom years ago. She was the toughest woman I know!)

 

Another sweet!... air conditioning. Our outside temperature has been in the triple digits for days. Maybe weeks! It's just a blur of heat, sunshine, and sweat!

I can remember when my childhood home had no air conditioning. Instead, there was a huge fan in our attic (hence, we called it "the attic fan") which somehow pulled enough air through the screens of our open windows to keep us cool during those hot, humid summers in Houston.

At least it must have, because I don't remember feeling miserably, vaporously overheated like I did earlier this week when our air conditioner decided to stop working.

I'm grateful for our air-conditioner repairman who, for the third year in a row, has been able to patch up our old system to get us through the rest of summer. We will definitely get a new system this fall. I think our repairman is as relieved as we are!

 

Those are the three major sweet!s of the past few weeks. Here are a few others ...

 

 

Visiting your mom's aides and noticing her rose bush is surviving the hot, dry summer outside the nursing home where she lived.

A friend passing her real estate exam!

A cooler-than-normal morning when your air conditioner breaks

 

Driving around a funky south Austin neighborhood with one of your forever friends, admiring the eclectic architecture

Sitting on your back porch with your puppy watching the sun splash over your hollow, letting the busy birds entertain you

Receiving wonderful reviews from past clients

A client offering a cool room for the night at their home when your air conditioning is out

 

Noticing gorgeous sunsets before they disappear

Playing a part in helping a friend in Greece sell their property

Your puppy playing a joke on you by stealing your shoes while you're in the shower

Helping out with a memorial service at your church for the family of a parishioner who passed away

 

The arrival of  your Cheesy Sauce from The Honest Stand, a company that a dear friend's son helped create

Phone calls with your sister, mother-in-law, sister-in-law, and dear friends

Reconnecting with a friend from your childhood neighborhood on Facebook

A cardinal nest in a tree right outside your front door

 

 

Getting to visit with a sweet friend from high school while showing property to her and her husband

Spending a day showing property to a new out-of-state client

Finding out a "neighbor" was caught stealing electricity through an illegal wire and stopped before he "accidentally" set fire to your neighborhood

Having other neighbors who help keep an eye on your neighborhood

 

A chance to visit with another dear high school friend while she's in town visiting her sister

Rain, even if it's just lasts a day

New listings

A stranger in the grocery store noticing, and taking the time to warn you, that a man is showing a lot of interest in you before he has a chance to steal your purse

 

Morning walks with your daughter, your puppy, and the neighbor's dogs while the neighbors are away on vacation

Kittens... their playfulness, purring, and sandpaper kisses

Paychecks

A former client referring you to someone he sees buying a For Sale By Owner sign in your local Ace Hardware store. 

 

Finding a blue feather from a Mexican Jay

Celebrating your baby girl's 25th birthday

A hummingbird discovering your hibiscus bud

Publishing an article about your little town

Finally finishing a blog post you've worked on little by little for three days!

 

If you stuck with this until the end, thank you!!

I hope this coming week overflows with sweet! moments, memories, and music that lifts you up!

 

"And I am glad to see, that you have also put to flight the gloomy thoughts which used to haunt you. I like to see people cheerful and happy. What is the use of giving way to sadness in this beautiful world?"

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Hyperion, A Romance, "The Evening and the Morning Star," 1839