Long Hollow

Breakthrough - my word for 2025

 

 

In "The Millionaire Real Estate Agent", Gary Keller says "Natural ability can only take us so far. No matter how gifted we may be, each of us will eventually hit our own ceiling of achievement. There is no if to that assertion, only when. So the most important achievement question you may ever have to ask yourself becomes: 'When I hit that ceiling of achievement - whether it is low or high - how will I break through?' "

He goes on to show how we can add proven models, systems, leverage and creativity to break through each ceiling we hit - because there is always one on the other side after we break through. 

For the last few years I have added leverage - I have an amazing admin assistant, a great transaction coordinator, and a few favorite showing assistants who open doors for me when I am tied up elsewhere so my clients don't have to wait for me.

I have learned to 'let go and let them", which was actually a huge breakthrough for me. 

In July 2024 I celebrated my 11th anniversary of becoming a Realtor. Since that first day there I have experienced so many breakthroughs, when I really think about it. First was a mindset breakthrough about money. I didn't realize I had a scarcity mindset instead of an abundance mindset.

That had a huge impact on my life and my business. Because of it, we were able to achieve financial freedom in about 5 years after decades of being weighted down (essentially drowning) in credit card debt, student loans, our mortgage, etc. Now we have no debt. Our mortgage is paid off and we have even bought, and paid off quickly, two new SUVs. In 2023 I went to France with friends, and Tom and I traveled to Greece. I have been able to donate to so many causes that are important to me and help out friends and family who were in need. 

It is a much better feeling. "Money is good for the good it can do."

 I was fortunate that I started my career with Keller Williams Realty, and specifically, with the Northwest Austin Market Center. Because of the culture and the support of colleagues, it has been a continual path of growth, both personal and in business. 

I knew nothing about the traditional real estate process when I started. Tom and I had taken a couple of classes decades ago, but otherwise my real estate journey involved:

1. buying a new construction condo when I was 20 (without agent representation)
2. leasing out that condo ourselves and self-managing when Tom and I got married
3. bidding on a HUD foreclosure home in an open auction - losing - and then winning it in the closed bid auction when it became available again. (We had an agent submit the bid but didn't keep in touch with her, and I don't think I ever met her)
4. leasing Tom's house out once we moved into the foreclosure and self-managing it
5. going through 3 evictions on our rental properties because tenants stopped paying rent (and cleaning them up after they were destroyed by the tenants)
6. buying raw land outside of Austin (this time with an agent, although I only have vague memories of it)
7. selling Tom's house to the last couple who leased it, without agent representation (they still lived there last time we checked)
8. selling my condo and our foreclosure (now fixed up after living there 10 years) using my neighbor who had just gotten her real estate license. 
9. finding a house to lease in Lago Vista, via the local newspaper, and being tenants for 8 years while we built our home on the raw land (we underestimated how long it would take to build the house - by about 7 years!)

Becoming a Realtor was probably last on my "dream career" list. An architect or interior designer, perhaps, because I loved looking at houses and even designing them. But what I knew of being a Realtor sounded boring. 

The decision was borne of pure desperation. First of all, as I mentioned, we were broke after sending 3 children through college and building a house, essentially on one income because this blog, my multiple part-time jobs, my handful of published writings, and other handful of photography gigs didn't pay much. 

I still had my dream of finishing my college degree, but couldn't make up my mind on a major or a career path. But it would take time, and also, as we knew, more money. Would it pay off enough to warrant either of those? We were in dire straits. 

Tom had suggested getting my license, but it was my sister-in-law who finally convinced me that it would be quicker, easier, and much more lucrative financially than a college degree. She had just earned her master's degree right before going into real estate, so I had to believe her. (If you are in the Phoenix area and need a Realtor, call Kim Shallue!)

That is how, and why, I ended up becoming a Realtor. But to my surprise, this gig wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. I was honestly lost the first few months. 

You see, KW is different from some other companies. Instead of giving agents buyer and seller leads, KW teaches them how to go out and find them, and to keep them coming, based on that old saying "“Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.”

But I didn't have the right mindset. That image of a slick salesman was stuck in my mind - the last thing I wanted to be - and it created a conflict within me. Also, I didn't realize it, but I had an issue with money -that scarcity mindset. 

My first breakthrough came in a class KW offers called Bold. A huge part of it was about the power of affirmations and positive thinking (I was a little cynical at first, I admit) and in thinking Big. We learned a lot of quippy sayings, like "There is no try" and "What you focus on expands" which I realized a few years later probably came from Napoleon Hill's book "Think and Grow Rich". 

Another big one was "Come from contribution." It helped me understand I wasn't selling anything - I was helping people. The better my skills and knowledge, the better I could help them through some very stressful times in their lives. For that reason I have continued to take classes and mastermind with other skilled agents. We learn from each other. 

It doesn't hurt that I'm a little competitive, and that most of the agents I work with are at least a decade younger than I am.

Now I feel I am bumping up against another ceiling. It's January, goal-setting season, and I have to admit that for two years I haven't hit my goals. What do I need to do to get to the other side?

This year I dove a little deeper into what has worked over the past year or two, and where I can improve. What do I enjoy, what can I let go of, or hand off to someone else? I didn't have as much time to spend on it as I hoped, of course. However the little bit of analyzing I was able to do helped me clarify in my mind what my 20% should be and what I can do to make it more effective. 

There is another book by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan that helps with it - The One Thing - but it is still something I have to review often.  It is about choosing the one thing in the different areas of your life - physical, spiritual, family, business, etc. - that has the biggest impact on that area. In other words, "“What's the one thing I can do, such that by doing it, everything else will be easier or unnecessary?"  

My biggest challenge right now (and I think it is common with everyone) is time. That is where I need the breakthrough - creating a system or hiring the right leverage that will free up my time, so I can spend it doing the thing that will help me reach my goals.

I have been listening to other solo agents and taking notes on what they have done to grow their business. Some of their ideas will work with my business and life, but others won't. That has been another breakthrough for me... learning to stop grabbing onto new ideas before really reflecting on whether they are a fit for me. As a Realtor, I am a huge target for salespeople who are sure they have the answer to my problems. I am learning to tune out their voices. 

It seems kind of strange to be 65 years old and still intent on growing my business, when most of my peers are talking about retirement. Tom just retired so everyone is asking me when I'll quit - if not directly telling me I should. 

Yes, I work hard, and essentially work every day, although I've learned to set boundaries on when I'll receive phone calls or make appointments (another past breakthrough) so that I don't totally burn out. I make time to pray, meditate, work out, and spend time with my family and friends. I enjoy my life, and feel fulfilled, and it has been via a route I never expected. 

I love this career, love how I've been able to help people both directly and indirectly. I love helping newer agents, and love learning from top agents, or even from clients and transactions. There are always new challenges that help me grow as a person and as a better Realtor.  And with Tom retiring (and a house that needs to be finished, and more destinations that need to be explored around the world) I plan to continue working until I just don't enjoy it anymore. 

Meanwhile, I'll focus on breaking through this next ceiling...

...and only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out just how far one can go. ~T. S. Eliot, 1931

All dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous, for they may act their dream with open eyes, to make it possible. ~T. E. Lawrence

 

On Hearts

 

Man has made many machines, complex and cunning, but which of them indeed rivals the workings of his heart?

~Pablo Casals

 

I had just stepped into the last house on a property tour when it happened: my heart seemed to turn a somersault, I nearly passed out, and the pounding started ...as in, my heart started pounding in my chest like I had somehow trapped a hard rock drummer inside of it. 

It had happened once before, almost 10 years ago (Heart Beats, Heart POUNDS) but follow up tests revealed nothing wrong with my heart, and I hadn't had another episode since that first one, which hit in the middle of the night. It only lasted about 30 minutes and stopped as quickly as it started, so of course, that's what I expected this time. So I gave my feedback on the property to the host agent, got in my car, and drove home, expecting the pounding to stop before I could walk in my front door.

Well, it didn't. So an hour and a half later, I was strapped on a stretcher in the back of an ambulance in my doctor's office's parking lot with my heart still racing and pounding, about to be transported to the hospital. At one point they clocked it at 177 beats/minute. My neck, back, and shoulders ached from the pressure.  

The paramedics had given me an empty syringe which I had been blowing into every few minutes for the past 20 minutes or so - like trying to blow up a stubborn balloon. Just as they were taking one last set of readings before pulling out of the parking lot, I blew into it and immediately felt relief. The paramedic said he saw my heart rate drop down to 90 beats per minute.

After waiting a few minutes to be sure my heart was going to behave itself, I was relieved that I was able to climb out of the ambulance and go home. A trip to the hospital as a patient in an ambulance isn't something I want to add to my 61 x 61 list (61 new experiences by my 61st birthday), if I can help it!

I've since seen the cardiologist, who diagnosed the pounding as SVT (Supraventricular Tachycardia) based on the EKG my doctor took in the middle of the episode. It's an electrical malfunction, where the nerve signal gets stuck in a smaller, easier loop in the cartilage where the four heart chambers connect. For some reason I don't completely understand, the strain of blowing into a tough syringe, or a balloon, or even making yourself cough hard can reset it back onto the correct pathway and normal heartbeats. If that doesn't work, and the episodes are frequent, there is medication and a procedure called an ablation that can be done. 

I'm praying mine is just a random thing, possibly brought on by a few weeks of steady allergy and cold medicine (thank you, Cedar Fever!) combined by I'm-not-sure-how-many cups of coffee a day I had been drinking. Now I'm paying attention to how much coffee I'm drinking each day, and I'm also making sure I work out regularly and get enough sleep, since stress can play a part in it (although I didn't feel unusually stressed out either time it has happened.) 

Getting older is a blessing, but it can also be tricky and full of surprises! 

[A]ccept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields....

~Khalil Gibran, The Prophet, 1923

I counted a number of 'sweets' that day.  I didn't pass out, wreck, and hurt anyone...my doctor's office was very responsive and helpful...the paramedics were so knowledgeable...I didn't have to be transported... my husband and kids were on standby ready to help and meet me wherever I ended up.

But there have been many others this past month, including...

 

 

Lots of playdates with my grandson, supplemented by Facetime in between our visits

He calls me BiBi now!

 

 

I formed a corporation for my business (Shallue Property Group, Inc. - sounds so official!)

 

 

Sharing some beautiful sunrises on my daily walks with Belle (she turned 10 this month!)

 

 

My old Hyundai Elantra is going strong, even though she is also now 10, and has over 220,000 miles on her.

 

 

Steady business, closings, referrals from friends and past clients, and listings with multiple offers

 

 

Taking breaks to tap dance and play my drums (when no one is home!)

 

 

Still finding heart rocks along my path and friends sharing photos of the hearts they find with me

 

 

My kids bathing Belle for me when she rolled in poop on our morning walk 

 

 

The rose bush planted in my mom's honor at her nursing home is still alive, growing and blooming

 

A motivating book and set of question cards from our leadership at the Associate Leadership Council retreat, and a belated Christmas gift from my daughter... one of my favorite movies 

 

 

Wine in the mail (a gift from clients)

 

 

Feeling snow on my face and finding a dusting of it still on everything the next morning (unfortunately there wasn't enough for a snowman)

 

I also lost a classmate this month, and two friends lost their brothers. I'm getting more intentional about connecting with my friends and family, even if it's just a quick phone call or text, so they know they are important to me. Time goes by so fast, and when we are busy, it's easy to put off the things that matter the most. Don't wait!

I hope, no matter what is going on in your life, you keep a lookout for the 'sweets' in every situation. Believe me, you'll find them if you look for them, expecting to find them.

Happy Valentine's Month! I'm grateful for you!

 

 

Heart & me—
Fragile
and strong
Broken
and whole
Loving,
and loving.
~Terri Guillemets

 

 

Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and a bunch of sweet!s

 

 

The sky put on a grand finale sunset outside my window as I started reflecting on this past year.  However, it doesn't take a lot of reflection to know that 2018 will go down in history as one of my favorite years.

It's the year I became a grandmother! 

 

Watching Little C grow month to month has been an absolute joy.

I gave birth myself in 2018, in a sense. I formed a real estate team!  The Shallue Property Group. It's still in its infancy right now... just me and one other agent, Amanda, who is very sharp. Stepping out into this unknown territory was less scary knowing she would be by my side. 

In 2018 I also experienced my first trip to California, met and helped many new clients, and had some great visits and memories made with friends and family. I began my "60 by 60" list and made a lot of progress on it, although I need to become really intentional to hit #60 by my 60th birthday in April.  

Just more to look forward to in this new year!

Before I get too far ahead of myself, there are some sweet!s  since my last post that I want to remember...

 

 My daughter-in-law knows how to celebrate her birthday. She hosts a birthday fiesta every year... 

 

She knows how to throw a great party, while remaining very practical about the realities of parenthood!

 

 We celebrated Thanksgiving in Florida...

 

 

So many sweet! moments in one short week. ... Little C meeting his great-grandma Shallue for the first time ... numerous cribbage battles and games of 3-13 ... Little C 's first trip to the beach and to McGuires (where I had my first taste of shepherd's pie!) ... finding exactly what I needed while exploring  junk and antique shops with my sister-in-law ... and lots of down time, just hanging out and playing with the baby. 

Speaking of babies... my oldest turned 33 in December...

I was already proud of the man he has grown into, but watching him in his role as father just makes my heart soar. 

 

(But seriously ... wasn't this just yesterday?)

 

Babysitting this precious baby boy is a joy I can't explain ... 

 

 

We read good books and have some great conversations!

The real estate business is still hot in the Austin area and I'm grateful for all of my clients. I had several closings since my last post, including the first unit to close in the new 5th & West hi-rise complex.

Closings always land on the sweet! list...

 

Mozart's Christmas Light Show has become an Austin tradition and I finally experienced it. Having my son go with me made it extra sweet! (So did the coffee and the hot chocolate! It was a cold night!)

 

 

My word for 2019 is Joy, so I need to find a headband like my friend Ellie wore to this fun party...

 

 

It finally hit me that my aching back was probably related to my old, worn-out running shoes, so I treated myself to a new pair. I continue to find at least one heart rock almost every day, and I'm so pleased by how many of my friends are spotting hearts everywhere now, too, and sharing them with me ...

 

 

Little C celebrated Christmas in Colorado with his parents and his other grandmother, but we were lucky to have his sister with us. She's around 12, but thanks to special food and medicine, she is so energetic and puppy-like again. She and Belle had a great time running, hunting, and just being good country guard dogs.

Cold mornings like this one where the mist from Lake Travis pools in the hollows of the hills and the light is golden are my favorites. I was grateful she could run up the hill again so we didn't miss it. 

 

 

The passing of one of my favorite high school teachers, who had become a lifelong friend, was bittersweet. I'm grateful I stopped by to visit him last April on a visit to Houston. 

I couldn't go to the service, but a friend who did shared this with me. I think it's worth remembering and sharing...

 

Celebrating a friend's 60th birthday included a chance to catch up with these beautiful friends I've known since high school. I find it odd and wonderful that we are so close now, and seem to grow closer every year, when in high school we barely knew each other. I regret that it took us so long!

 

 

I've made a couple of quick trips to Houston in the past month to spend the night with my sister. It's been fun just watching movies and reminiscing. Her memory is so much better than mine!

Over the Christmas season I watched "Elf" three times!  First while decorating my tree, then on one of the visits with my sister, and again at an Alamo Drafthouse movie party with the rest of our market center's Agent Leadership Council (my first movie party!) 

My accountability group got together one Friday night with glue, scissors, poster board, a stack of magazines, and a couple of bottles of wine to create our 2019 Vision Boards. That's the way to do it! It's the first vision board I've ever completed. Have you ever created one?

I just happened to glance out the window one morning in time to spot a flock of Cedar Waxwings fly in formation into the hollow and settle in our willow trees. Belle and I ventured closer and I snapped photos with my Nikon... but alas, they are still in my camera. But it was the experience that was sweetest... stepping out of my morning routine to stand there in the quiet with Belle, admiring God's handiwork. 

My hours of driving feel much more productive since I discovered Audible. I loved listening to Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich, and its more modern, funny version, You Are a Badass at Making Money, by Jen Sincero.

December brought me one last reminder of my awesome Italy Trip of 2017 with dear high school friends. I'll miss it in 2019! 

 

 

The sun has long set as I finish this. Fireworks boom from the hills around our house, making Belle nervous. I'm sure when Little C gets a little older, Tom will once again put on a fireworks show, but tonight we're happy to stay inside, watching television, reminiscing over the past year, and waiting for the ball to drop so we can call it a night... and a year.

I wish for all of you a blessed 2019, full of love, laughter, and joy. Happy New Year!

 

Lord, as the New Year dawns today,
      Help me to put my faults away.
      Let me be big in little things;
      Grant me the joy which friendship brings;
      Keep me from selfishness and spite,
      Let me be wise to what is right.
A Happy New Year! grant that I
      May cause no tear to any eye.
      When this new year in time shall end,
      Let it be said: "I've played the friend,
      Have lived and loved and labored here
      And made of it a happy year."

~Edgar Guest (1881–1959), "Prayer for the New Year"

"Is, then, September come so soon?"

 

 

Is, then, September come so soon?
Full time doth summer ne'er abide?
While yet it seems but summer's noon,
We're floating down the autumn tide.

~Eunice E. Comstock, The Atlantic Monthly, October 1873

 

Is it just me, or did Summer just set a new record for "Fastest Season Ever"? 

Temperatures are still climbing to 100 degrees Fahrenheit or more every day here in Austin - very much "summer's noon" -  but past experience tells me it won't be long before I trade my daily uniform of a sleeveless dress and sandals for jeans and boots. 

Business exploded this summer - the real estate market in Austin is still going strong, and I'm grateful! So even though I've kept up with my 'sweet' journal, posting them here has been a time-luxury I just couldn't afford. 

However, in honor of Labor Day, I'm taking a few hours off this evening to indulge myself by sharing a few highlights from my summer "sweet!"s  and provide a "Sixty by Sixty" update.

It will take me 2 or 3 hours to compose this, believe it or not, but it's a chance to look back over photos, re-read pages of my "sweet" journal, choose quotes, and just generally slow down  and ponder life and all that I have to be grateful for... which I'm always reminded is a LOT. 

So, here I go...

I made a considerable dent in my "Sixty by Sixty " list this summer - I'm up to 37 "first time..."s. Over halfway there, and I still have 7 months to go!

I was able to cross off some of the major items, too: I took a yoga class... finally experienced a Harlem Globetrotters game ... and rode the Metro train downtown to attend the Keller Williams Mega Camp convention. 

 

 

I ate at several good Austin restaurants for the first time, heard John Maxwell speak in person (he's funny!), and perhaps most memorable of all, experienced little C smiling at me - at ME - for the first time. He's a charmer, as you can see from this photo of him with his daddy (who happens to be my baby, all grown up)...

 

 

We've been blessed with being owned by many awesome dogs over the years, and also with a sweet, aging grandpuppy who came to visit us twice in August!

 

 

Our niece was in town for her cousin's baby shower. We met her and her precious two girls for dinner one night.

We hadn't seen them since the oldest was a baby!

 

 

Tom and I celebrated our 36th wedding anniversary in August.

We were married on a Friday the 13th. The next year, right after our 1st anniversary, we experienced Hurricane Alicia passing over our house in League City, Texas.

Never a dull moment for us!

Since then we've chased dreams, been broke, built our own home, and supported each other financially and emotionally. It's been thirty-six years of laughter, tears, heartaches, and joy... of butting heads and seeing eye-to-eye...of raising our children, watching them grow into actual adults, and now watching our new grandson growing way, way too fast.

Another tiny thread that sews us together. 

 Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years.

~Simone Signoret

 

 

Here are a few more sweet!s since my last update...

Being able to attend the services and support friends as they  mourn the loss of parents

Multiple referrals from friends and past clients

My husband and son's help putting up For Sale signs, and my son helping me with open houses 

Finally watching the movie "Buckaroo Bonzai" (how did I miss this one?)

My cousin having my grandmothers' slides digitally scanned and put on discs

Commission checks

Listening to Napoleon Hill's book "Think and Grow Rich" twice (I wish someone had told me about this one a long time ago!)

Audible, so I can "read" while driving 

Rain

A sky full of stars in a pre-dawn morning

An old friend of Tom's finding us through this blog!

Playing my drums

Helping 5 friends/family members connect with great real estate agents near them

Having to buy more signs and lockboxes because of all my new listings

Two separate 60th birthday parties for friends

Reading the journals I kept for my kids during their childhoods

My daughter making sure I came out to see the full moon just before it sank behind the treetops on the horizon

Knowing my sister has friends close by when she needs extra help

Friends coming to visit via helicopter for a gathering of our Italy group

Being dive-bombed by a hummingbird

The macaroons at Elizabeth Street Cafe

And last but not least...  lots of heart rocks. 

 

 

There shall be eternal summer in the grateful heart.

~Celia Thaxter

 

I'm wishing for you an eternal summer! (Maybe not one quite this hot, though.)

Bluebonnets, Easter Dresses, Essays... and other Texas springtime sweets

 

Spotting my first bluebonnet of the year is always exciting. I know that the drab winter days are giving way to longer, warmer days of spring, wearing wildflowers of every color. 

 

Full disclosure: these photos are from years past. While I've enjoyed the sight of bluebonnets decorating the roadsides this year, I haven't had a chance to stop somewhere safe and snap any photos. 

 

 

But the photo above is new, and so was my dress. When I was growing up, I always looked forward to buying a new outfit for Easter. I haven't outgrown that, apparently. I found that dress over a month ago, but resisted wearing it until Easter Sunday. 

Another Easter sweet... having all of my kids (even Josie, my grandpuppy) at our house for Easter dinner yesterday. It was lusciously chaotic with everyone gathered in, or close to, the kitchen, chopping, mixing, cooking, chatting... 

Sigh. 

But now for a few more sweet!s since I last posted...

 

 

Discovering Lily Trotters. I'm in a midlife writers Facebook group with Lois Alter Mark, who shared a link to an article she had published in Forbes magazine. Boom! Just what I needed! I love it when that happens. 

It happened again just the other night. I turned on the television for a few minutes before getting in bed, just in time to catch poet Rudy Francisco reciting his poem "Complainers". Reciting is really too tame a word for such a powerful poem.

If, like me, you've managed to go the past few years without hearing of him, please click HERE. (But then come back!)

 

 

 A weekend that started with two closings and a new contract, before moving on to a baby shower for my beautiful daughter-in-law and grandbaby; a dear friend driving in from Houston to be there and another dear friend hosting a gathering afterward in her honor; and then finishing with a combination birthday party/belated St. Patrick's Day party for a client - friend's son. (Too pooped for photos by then!)

The Austin bombings finally came to an end. My heart aches for the bomber's family, along with the victims, and wonders how someone can go down that road and hurting others like that. But what a relief and blessing that the authorities were able to track him down. God bless all of them who worked tirelessly to solve the case!

 

Last year a sweet friend gave me some hyacinth bulbs for my birthday. When they stopped blooming, I planted them. To my surprise... despite the odds and my ignorance... two of them bloomed this spring! 

 

Springtime is the season of extremes. The drama and conflict of cold vs. hot equates into some amazing sunsets! My office window faces southwest and I'm so grateful when I look up in time to savor skies like the one above from our back porch. 

 

Shake Russell has been one of my favorite singer/songwriters for about 40 years. It just seems surreal that we've become friends and that he's friends with my friends. The world really isn't that big.

Last month Shake, Michael Hearne, and Mike Roberts were back in Lago Vista for a friend's birthday party. It was a gorgeous day in the Texas Hill Country, with the perfect backdrop of Lake Travis and a horizon of hills. 

 

It's such a joy to live in a place long enough to watch kids grow up, help them buy houses, and witness their marriage. I'm so happy I was able to do that with Hannah, and have enjoyed getting to know Ezekiel. And how cool that two of my past clients were also at the wedding, as well as two current clients. I love helping the people I know and love. 

 

I'm always amazed at the heart-shaped things friends have found. It makes me happy when they think of me and share them. Just recently a friend showed me photos of a heart-shaped potato chip! But as amazing as it was just for my daughter to spot this large crystal geode on the side of our dirt road, to have it be heart-shaped was just a pure blessing. 

 

 

I can finally say I've been to California. 

I've even dipped my toes into the Pacific Ocean, thanks to another agent who rented a car while at our annual Keller Williams Family Reunion in Anaheim. She agreed to play hooky from one of the morning sessions and drive me to Long Beach so I could feel I had actually visited California, not just another convention center. 

We walked out onto a pier, and then, despite the chilly wind and frigid water, I walked barefoot into the Pacific Ocean. Before heading back for the afternoon sessions, we enjoyed a wonderful lunch overlooking the water. 

 

Another friend of mine recently moved to that area to care for her dad. I was so grateful she could get away to see me. I've never been to any of the Disney parks, so she suggested lunch at Downtown Disney, so I could at least get a little taste of it. Perfect!

 

 

Other highlights of the week.. becoming a redhead (temporarily) for the traditional Red Bash and meeting up with Mary Coutu, a high school classmate and longtime Realtor, who now lives in Rhode Island.

I can't wait for next year, when we get to connect in New Orleans!

 

 

While learning from the best of the best, wearing a red wig, and dipping my toes into the Pacific were all fabulous, one of the true highlights of my California adventure didn't even happen in California, but on the short plane hop between Austin and Houston. 

I was fortunate enough to sit next to Fernando Salmeron, a writer who (I found out by being nosy) was on his way to Peru to promote his book at a book festival there. In the one to two hours between Austin and Houston, we talked nonstop, about writing, time management, and life. His book is loosely based on his life. It's a story about overcoming challenges and staying positive. A theme I really like. 

(I just wish I read Spanish so I could read it! If you can read Spanish, go HERE to order it. And then tell me about it.) 

During the conversation, I mentioned I'd had some essays published. He earnestly encouraged me to keep writing, and asked if I'd read Montaigne. (No.) So he said he'd send me a collection of them, since Montaigne was the father of essays. 

And guess what?  He did. 

He sent the book AND he encouraged me to not give up on my writing. 

You just never know where your next friend is going to turn up. All I know is, it pays to say hi to the person in the seat beside you. 

 

In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.

~Albert Schweitzer

 

P. S. Next week is my 59th birthday. I've decided to created a 60 by 60 list of things to do in the next year. I'll post it next week... or at least what I've come up with so far.  I'm hoping to knock some of them out this weekend!

If you have suggestions, please send them on! Low budget, of course. 

P.S.S. I hope your spring has been filled with sweet! moments, too. If you can't think of any right now, concentrate and think of one (you're alive and breathing and apparently have your eyesight!) and I guarantee you'll think of more and more and more.  Please share them in the comments!

Happy birthday, Belle! (and other sweet!s)

 

 

Eight years ago, while we were mourning the loss of our sweet Charly, a litter of puppies was born in east Texas.  Whether the mom was a pure-bred who had a wild fling with a stray, or she was a mixed breed stray herself, we'll never know. 

We do know that a few weeks later a little black and brown bundle of cuteness wandered up to a home near Tyler, Texas. Unfortunately, the home belonged to a single mom living on a teacher's salary who could barely afford the horses and handful of stray dogs and cats she already owned.

Fortunately, she was determined to find a home for the cute puppy. Otherwise she would have to send it to a shelter... and there were no 'no-kill' shelters in Tyler, Texas. 

Her son posted its photo on a Facebook page for University of Texas students. Our daughter spotted it and sent it to me. It wasn't the first photo she had sent me, but by then, our resolve against getting another dog had been cracked by our German Shepherd/Great Dane Max's obvious despondency over Charly's absence.

He was so lonely! He just dragged his feet on our morning walks, ignoring Frankie the guinea fowl, and spent most of his time sleeping.

Seeing him like that just broke my heart!

We gave in, deciding Max needed a puppy, and after several phone calls with the puppy's foster mother, Tom and I arranged to meet her at a Dairy Queen in a little town outside of Waco. 

She called the puppy 'Thibodeaux'.

Um, no. To me, that just wasn't a fit. So as we drove down the highway, I ran name after name through my mind, trying to find just the right one.

At the Bell County line, it came to me  - "Belle". My Belle of Long Hollow.

Max gave his full approval, to the name and the puppy.

 

 

We'll be celebrating Belle's birthday on Sunday, probably with an extra walk and maybe some popcorn. She loves popcorn.

Somehow eight years have passed, as well as Max and Frankie. Once again, we've decided we won't get another dog.

I think Belle's okay with that; she's an inside dog now and very content. Besides, I don't think our allergies or our iRobot could handle a second dog in the house!

But "never say never", right? I know each one of our critters has been a gift from God, delivered just when we needed it.  Who knows who we'll meet up the road?

 

 

"Dogs' lives are too short. Their only fault, really."

~Agnes Sligh Turnbull

 

And now for a few more sweet!s I've collected since Christmas...

A motivating all-day leadership mastermind in Houston for all of the Keller Williams Realty Agent Leadership Councils in our region

Spotting a "sun-heart" in my sunlight photo taken on the trip home from Houston afterward (this is cropped quite a bit so you can see it) 

 

(Yes, I know it also looks a bit like a lima bean)

 

All of the "Friend-versary" videos popping up on Facebook 

Allergy medicines that keep my cedar fever under control

Belle snuggling in her puppy beds all over the house

 

 

Walks with Belle on gorgeous, frosty, golden mornings, and the view of mist rising from Lake Travis 

Getting a contract on one of my listings in 9 days

 

Seeing the latest Star Wars movie, "The Last Jedi", with my son... flashing back to seeing the very first one 40+ years ago ... feeling I had come full circle.

Spending a day helping a friend celebrate her birthday in one of her favorite places... Magnolia Market in Waco ... and seeing another longtime friend for the first time in years. 

 

A friend's new home almost complete on the lot I helped her buy a year ago

Audible, so I can "read" books in my car when I have no time at home

My oldest decorating his Christmas tree with his childhood ornaments that used to hang on mine

 

My photo book of my Italy trip delivered to my doorstep

Friends recommending me, bringing me new buyer and seller clients

Warm temperatures returning after three days below freezing

A warm bowl of Hoppin' John on a cold New Year's Day

 

Spotting a huge owl on my morning walk and hearing it whistle

A successful surgery for someone I love (but please keep them in your prayers as they recover) 

And of course, plenty of heart rocks... 

 

(Can you think of any sweet!s in your own life? Share them in the comments!)

 We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.

~Thornton Wilder

 

Postcards from Greece, Dragonflies, and other sweet!s

 Deep in the sun-searched growths the dragonfly
Hangs like a blue thread loosened from the sky.

~Dante Gabriel Rossetti, Silent Noon

 

This morning as Belle and I finished our walk, a dragonfly buzzed close, circling and circling. It even hovered about a foot from me for a few seconds, providing me a good look at its glimmering green and turquoise body,before finally flying off and disappearing into the trees.

What a sweet moment!

I've noticed a lot dragonflies zipping around the hollow lately. They never seem to land, just zip, zip, zip, but in 2010 dragonflies of every color posed for me.

The friendly one this morning reminded me of those old photos, so I went searching through my files so I could share this with you.

 

 Dragonflies are just amazing, aren't they?

 

I wish I could say I took the next photo.  My son and his wife are finishing up an idyllic week in Greece, which followed an idyllic week on the Amalfi coast of Italy. It's an early birthday celebration for my daughter-in-law.

Those kids know how to celebrate, that's for sure!

They are both awesome photographers, too, capturing amazing views, architecture, and slices of life, besides making sure they get some photos of themselves experiencing all of it. 

I've enjoyed following along on their adventures and have added all of the places they've visited to my bucket list. I'm so grateful for Instagram and Facebook!

 

 

And now for a few other sweet!s from the past two (or so) weeks, working backward ...

Celebrating a client/friend's 60th birthday party while watching the sun set over Lake Travis

Celebrating another friend's 55th birthday by dancing for hours

 

 

A blog/photographer friend providing authentic recipes for Spanish tapas for me for a Wine & Tapas meeting I'm going to this week. (Sidenote: I met Juana through her food-story blog years ago. Although I've never met her in person, I consider her a dear friend. She has an amazing story, which she has had published. Unfortunately for me, it hasn't been translated into English yet, but if you read Spanish, you should buy it and read it. I know it's good. "Por Una Sonrisa")

Enjoying a second cup of coffee on my deck with Belle on a relatively cool morning in time to watch a great blue heron fly over and two red hawks fight for custody of a tree near our creek 

Our hollow at night... the smell of the cedars and the creek, the sound of night insects, and the stars scattered across the sky

Finally adding posts to the real estate blog I started last year... "Your Austin Sweet Austin Home". (Please check it out and share it with friends! Thank you! )

Having the flexibility to cover for our church secretary at the last minute when she needs to go to the doctor....

... and seeing this on our priest's desk...

 

 

How Belle can sense when Tom or the kids are about to arrive home when they are still at least a mile away

An executed contract for a buyer who is looking forward to moving his family back to Texas from California

Friends and clients who don't even live in Texas purchasing raffle tickets that benefit my church and small town

Our family and friends in Florida being spared damage from Hurricane Irma 

Lunch with my cousin

Finding a heart rock in my path almost every day

 

 

Helping a friend's dad find a home

Connecting an aging neighbor with someone who can help her take care of her yard

A visit with my nephew who was in town helping to coordinate hurricane relief 

My listing in Kyle, Texas going live! (Help me find a buyer!)

 

 

The full moon waiting for me to get up before it disappeared below the horizon

Driving on country roads at night with the full moon keeping me company and the windows open... the wind carrying smells of the lake and campfire smoke and the promise of autumn

Thinking of my dad on the anniversary of his passing and my father-in-law on his birthday, and giving thanks I was blessed to have both in my life

Enjoying sunrises over the hill country with Belle

 

 

Dinner with friends at a floating restaurant on Lake Travis

Tom home safe from a hunting weekend with friends (and bringing home lots of pork from the wild hog he shot)

Being able to check on friends and family in Houston via Facebook during the hurricane, and knowing most of them were high and dry

Dinner with a friend/client and giving her a sign made by another friend/client who has started a business making them

 

 

Dusk on my back deck, when the frogs begin to croon, harmonizing with the cicadas and evening birds

Family and friends checking to be sure we weren't affected by the hurricane

The sight of blue sky peeking out of dark clouds after torrential rains

 

 

Autozone employees, who in less than 15 minutes had diagnosed and replaced my dying car battery

Watching the Game of Thrones finale with my kids

A walk in the rain to check on the pond and discovering the American Beautyberry bush in full color 

 

 

The great attitudes of those friends and family who did get water in their homes. They have reminded me that...

 

Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same.

~Francesca Reigler

 

He's still here... and other sweet!s

Tom and I once spent a week in a downtown Austin high-rise which had fabulous views of the city. It was especially beautiful at night, with the Texas State Capitol and other downtown buildings all lit up.

Unfortunately, that high-rise was Brackenridge Hospital, and Tom wasn't in any shape to appreciate those gorgeous views. He was recovering from a head-on collision that gashed his face and broke a LOT of bones. A morphine drip was his best friend that week.

Friends and family rallied around us, but one of my best friends was a spiral notebook, where I chronicled our visitors, his treatments, and my thoughts, which I gathered for my essay "In the Aftermath of a Car Wreck", eventually published in the State Lines column of the Houston Chronicle's Texas Magazine. 

I've been thinking about that experience more than ever lately, mostly because today is the 19th anniversary of his wreck, but also because Brackenridge Hospital is now empty, scheduled for demolition. All of the patients have been moved to the new Dell Seton Medical Center.

That makes me sad for some reason. I realize it was the amazing staff who saved him, not the building ... the EMTs, the surgeons, the nurses ... and I'm so grateful for them, and that they will still be around, always ready to save another life. 

But even though my memories may not seem like good ones, they are infused with gratitude for our friends and family who were there for us, who stepped in to help and encourage us; for the nurses who cared for him and allowed me to stay in his room; for the plastic surgeon's skill (the scar was barely noticeable after just one week!)

Mostly, I was simply grateful to sit there and watch him sleep, his chest lifting with every breath of life.

He's still here... and that is much more than sweet!

If you have lived, take thankfully the past.

~John Dryden

And now for a few sweet!s from this past week (I'm trying to get back on track with posting these!):

Sunday: not receiving dirty looks when all you contribute to the Women's Guild soup & salad luncheon/meeting is a bag of potato chips because you didn't have time to go to the grocery store after your husband and sons stock up for their fishing weekend out of your refrigerator; your sons and husband having an awesome time together on their boys' weekend, hiking and watching a lightning storm approach on the horizon (and then being safe in their cabin when the actual storm hit); helping a neighbor/friend celebrate his 70th birthday; his awesome birthday cake...

 

Monday: watching a duck fly through your hollow above the creek; meeting with a client and learning about her coaching business; a verbal offer on one of your listings; finally eating at County Line BBQ

 

Tuesday: writing an offer for a cute young couple; being part of a Mastermind Group, committed to helping each other grow; the culture of Keller Williams Realty... supportive rather than competitive ... where agents share their success tips with others, just to be helpful; making it to Beall's with a 40% off Clearance coupon before it expires; everyone making it home safe in a blinding rainstorm; finally noticing a rock-heart embedded in the road where you walk every morning...

 

Wednesday: A clear, cool fall-like morning in May; Belle flushing a cottontail out of the woods and across the road in front of you, with Belle oblivious to its escape; towering yuccas blooming everywhere...

 

Shopping for books for a "summer reading" basket for the Lago Vista ISD Education Foundation fundraiser and managing to resist buying every one you like; starting Italian lessons via a CD series you listen to while driving, in preparation for your trip to Italy; referrals from friends; spotting a walking stick on your back stoop...

 

Thursday: commission checks; being able to pay your bills; dinner with a long-time friend that lasts 3 hours; margaritas made with Deep Eddy's Ruby Red Vodka; an owl swooping low out of the night on your country road

Friday: meeting your son and your daughter's boyfriend for coffee; scratching a lot off of your to-do list; looking forward to celebrating your mother-in-law's birthday with her; Mountain Pinks making their appearance...

 

I hope all of you had a sweet!-filled week, with more waiting for you around the corner. Have a safe and fun Memorial Day weekend, remembering, and giving thanks for, those who believed in our freedom enough to give their lives for it. 

 

 

An Acceptable Time

 

The phrase 'an acceptable time' has been popping up lately on the fringes of my consciousness. There's a Bible verse about "an acceptable time" which refers to salvation, and a Madeleine L'Engle book of that name, which I've been intending to read for years, but still haven't yet. 

 

But I finally finished a book that Gary Keller wrote called "The One Thing", about how important time-blocking is to accomplish the high priority items in our lives. 

 

 

You figure out what one thing is most important to achieve your goal in any area of your life, then you block time for it, and most importantly, protect it from all distractions.

 

For example, if your goal is to get in shape, then it's really important that you work out a certain number of days for a certain amount of time. So I'm getting a lot better about turning off my phone in the mornings when I walk Belle and say my Rosary, as well as during the hour I work out. I know (from experience) that if I take the call or answer the text, I won't get back to my workout.

I also know that, whatever the issue is, it can wait until I'm finished. 

Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent.

Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.

~Carl Sandburg

There's more to the book than that, of course, and he writes it a lot better than I can, so I encourage you to read it, even if you're not in the real estate business. It applies to all areas of our lives, and addresses how to maintain balance in those areas. 

Even in the blogging area. I decided tonight was an acceptable time to publish a long-overdue blog post. It's important to me to keep blogging, for my own pleasure, therapy, whatever...

But like most things that are put off too long, it becomes harder and harder to get started the longer you put it off. Writing a blog post takes longer than anyone other than bloggers can imagine. For me, anyway.

It requires a big chunk of relatively uninterrupted time, so I'm ignoring emails and to-do lists to do a brief catch-up over the past couple of crazy months. I plan to block time each week or so for a post.

It's important to me and, therefore, worthy of my time. 

 

Seasons change.

Sometimes they are pretty subtle, though, and that's been the case here in central Texas this year. Summer was pretty distinctive (100+ degree days!), but Autumn, Winter, and now Spring have all pretty much blurred together, temperature-wise. Mostly a rollercoaster of  warm and cool. 

There are other seasons in our lives that change, too, though. Just a few years ago my kids were in college, still mostly dependent on us. Besides my family, I was focused on photography, writing, and blogging. 

Now my kids are grown, and even though two still live at home, they are paying rent. They have real jobs with their own insurance (thank God) and I can enjoy having them here, because I know it's temporary. 

These days, I use my phone for photography more than my Nikon, and my writing consists of a rare blog post, marketing materials, and my daily summary of 'sweets'.  I haven't been faithful at posting them here, but this week marks a year of writing them in a journal every day. Yay!

If you struggle to keep a positive attitude, I encourage to keep track of your 'sweets', too. It could be a bird singing, a warm fire, getting enough sleep one night, a friend calling, or maybe taking advantage of an opportunity to help someone else. Pay attention and write them down, if possible. I bet you find your list grows longer each day.

 

One of the best parts of my job is helping friends get what they want.

In all honesty, by the time we get to closing, I consider all of my clients to be friends, since I've been so focused on their needs.

But I've been blessed to help several long-time friends with their real estate needs, most recently ShiShi, in the photo above with her husband. We were the only two girls in our high school physics class. After that, we lost touch. She went on to become an architect, and, well, if you read my blog, you know what I've done since then. 

Until we started viewing potential properties for her and her husband Ike to buy, I hadn't seen her since 1977. It was so awesome to reconnect with her and get to know Ike and her sons. 

I was almost sorry when we finally closed on a property. But now that we've reconnected, I feel sure we'll see each other again. 

 

A recurring theme right now for my peers is aging parents. A dear friend recently left her life in Texas to live in California and help care for her aging parents. We sent her off in style with a farewell party in a local restaurant overlooking Lake Travis. 

Her own real estate career had just begun to take off; she plans to continue it in California, so if you know anyone who has a real estate need there, let me know and I'll connect you.

 

 

Last weekend I attended a bridal shower for a beautiful young woman, one of my older son's friends I've known since their elementary school days, along with her family.

The shower was held in her cousin's home... a home I helped her and her husband buy this past summer. I can't describe the joy of still being a part of these "kids'" lives, helping them buy their first homes and celebrate the milestones in their lives. 

Also attending were other mothers... friends who supported me and my kids, and who share many of the same memories of their growing up. I am still so grateful we moved to this small town, where my kids have so many 'other mothers' who love them almost as much as I do, just as I love their kids. 

 

 

Yes, seasons change. It seems like yesterday that I was their age. But my joy and excitement for them doesn't leave room for any wistful, rose-colored-glasses wishes to be younger. I haven't forgotten the challenges of that season. Despite the challenges that come with age, I'm enjoying the one I'm in at any given time.

The next one will be here soon enough.  

 

Every season hath its pleasures:
Spring may boast her flowery prime,
Yet the vineyard's ruby treasures
Brighten Autumn's soberer time.
So life's year begins and closes;
Days, though shortening, still can shine;
What, though youth gave loves and roses,
Age still leaves us friends and wine.

~Thomas Moore (1779–1852), "Spring and Autumn"

Peace Begins with a Smile

 

 

 

I think it's time, don't you?

Somewhere I read that everything we do, every simple action or word, sends an energy into the world, either positive or negative, ultimately contributing to either war or peace.

We can point fingers and lay blame, but to some degree each one of us carries that responsibility and power.

I believe Thomas Merton wrote it in "The Seven Storey Mountain ", although I haven't been able to find it again. But no matter who wrote it, it stuck with me...the image of our complaints, our smiles, our angry outbursts, our words of thanks or apology drifting away from us and taking sides in a cosmic dance of good and evil. 

When my kids were little, I advised them to use a simple test for their words and actions - is it "nice" or "necessary"? If neither, don't say it or do it.

 

In light of the recent violent events in Paris and California and, well, almost everywhere in the world ... especially in the increasing intensity and frequency of those events ... I'm going to take my own advice and refocus my efforts to contribute to the 'good' side more than the bad, especially when I'm driving in traffic, which I think is my biggest challenge!

I hope you join me!

 

"Let us not use bombs and guns to overcome the world. Let us use love and compassion. Peace begins with a smile. Smile five times a day at someone you don't really want to smile at at all. Do it for peace. Let us radiate the peace of God and so light His light and extinguish in the world and in the hearts of all men all hatred and love for power. Smile at one another. It is not always easy. Sometimes I find it hard to smile at my Sister, but then I pray.

God loves the world through you and me. Are we that love and that compassion?"

~Mother Theresa, "In the Heart of the World: Thoughts, Stories, and Prayers "

 

Forgiveness in an Unforgiving World

 

It’s the hardest thing to give away
And the last thing on your mind today
It always goes to those that don’t deserve

It’s the opposite of how you feel
When the pain they caused is just too real
It takes everything you have just to say the word…

Forgiveness
Forgiveness

~from "Forgiveness" by Matthew West

 

Can you imagine getting the news that your college-student son had been shot to death? For me, I believe it would be an all-consuming fire of heartbreak at the loss and anger at the action. 

In 1995 Azim Khamisa, an international investment banker in San Diego at the time, did receive that news: his only son was killed by an aspiring teenage gang member.

Azim surely felt heartache and anger, but he reacted in a way that shocked everyone - he forgave the killer, reached out to the killer's family, and even befriended the killer's grandfather. Despite his pain, he recognized the killer's family must be feeling pain and loss, as well.

After all, can you imagine getting the news that your teenage grandson had shot and killed someone?

Together Azim and the grandfather worked to bring something positive from their joint tragedy, launching an organization that teaches nonviolence in middle schools.  

When writer Megan Feldman Bettencourt heard about Azim from a friend who attended one of his speaking engagements, she wanted to learn more. Why did he forgive? How did he forgive? 

Like many, she tended to equate forgiveness with weakness. With a little research, she discovered that multiple studies have shown forgiveness can not only improve physical and emotional well-being, but may even be a survival skill developed through evolution.

And that was the seed for a journey that ultimately became a book: Triumph of the Heart: Forgiveness in an Unforgiving World. 

In the book Megan shares her own struggles with forgiveness which most of us can identify with, such as the hurt caused by bad relationships or the verbal abuse of a bully. That kind of pain doesn't compare to what Azim felt, but it can often seem impossible to forgive even the simplest affronts like these, can't it? There were times in the book when I felt too much space was given to her past relationship, but the reason for it became clear by the end. 

Megan traveled throughout the United States and even to Rwanda to try to get answers to some questions she had about forgiveness. For example, was forgiveness self-sacrificial and altruistic? Was it possible after extreme offenses, such as genocide? Was it natural? Did it provide health benefits? How important are apologies and redemption? Is it a one-time thing or a habit? Can communities and nations practice forgiveness?

She shares the stories of the people she meets along the way, from Azim to recovered addicts to couples trying to heal their marriages. But the most amazing stories to me are those from Rwanda, especially the one of Father Ubald, a priest whose entire family was killed and who barely escaped Rwanda alive himself following the conflict between the Hutus and the Tutsis. 

Father Ubald is actually helping to raise the children of the man who killed his mother, even paying for one daughter to attend medical school, while the killer is in prison.  His story is on page 206. You really need to read it. 

His is just one of many amazing stories in that country, though. He runs a program that helps other victims forgive, including the son of a victim who ultimately made his father's killer the godfather of one of his children. If they can forgive the atrocities committed against them to this extent, what excuse do I have to hold on to bitterness and anger?

While spirituality plays a part in forgiveness for many people, this isn't a spiritual book. It's an exploration about the benefits of forgiveness, both physical and social, and about the process. It's rarely, if ever, a one-time thing, but something that needs to be practiced, as Megan says, "like being optimistic or mindful or patient." It can ebb and flow, from day to day. 

Megan investigated and describes to us many of the forgiveness programs in place around the United States and in Rwanda to help the process. 

It's a shame I hadn't heard of any of them until I read this book, and I hope that changes. I believe forgiveness is not only the key to personal peace, health, and happiness, but also the key to peace everywhere. And that's why I feel this book is full of hope.

 

As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom,

I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind,

I'd still be in prison.

~ Nelson Mandela

 

 

Disclosure: I was given a copy of this book to review, but the opinions are my own. The link up above is to Amazon and, as an Amazon Associate, I do receive a few pennies if you order the book there. But no matter where you order it, I encourage you to get this book, read it, and share it. I believe its message is important and potentially life-saving.  Thank you, Megan!

And here are the rest of the lyrics to the Matthew West song "Forgiveness", just because they fit so well...

 

It’s the hardest thing to give away
And the last thing on your mind today
It always goes to those that don’t deserve

It’s the opposite of how you feel
When the pain they caused is just too real
It takes everything you have just to say the word…

Forgiveness
Forgiveness

It flies in the face of all your pride
It moves away the mad inside
It’s always anger’s own worst enemy
Even when the jury and the judge
Say you gotta right to hold a grudge
It’s the whisper in your ear saying ‘Set It Free’

Forgiveness, Forgiveness
Forgiveness, Forgiveness

Show me how to love the unlovable
Show me how to reach the unreachable
Help me now to do the impossible

Forgiveness, Forgiveness

Help me now to do the impossible
Forgiveness

It’ll clear the bitterness away
It can even set a prisoner free
There is no end to what it’s power can do
So, let it go and be amazed
By what you see through eyes of grace
The prisoner that it really frees is you

Forgiveness, Forgiveness
Forgiveness, Forgiveness

Show me how to love the unlovable
Show me how to reach the unreachable
Help me now to do the impossible
Forgiveness

I want to finally set it free
So show me how to see what Your mercy sees
Help me now to give what You gave to me
Forgiveness, Forgiveness

"...as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be."

 

My middle son turned 27 today. My "baby" turned 24 this summer and my oldest will be 30 in December. Yikes! 

I can only imagine how my mom feels, knowing her baby (me) is 56. But I can see in her eyes when she looks at me, even though our roles are somewhat reversed now, that I'm still her baby. 

Have you read that book, "Love You Forever" by Robert Munsch? 

Tonight, after TG and I sang "Happy birthday" to Daniel, we were laughing about the mom in the book... well, I don't want to give it away if you haven't read it.  

Some things never change, and like the mom in the book, my babies will always be my babies, even though they are all taller than me, and more often than not, they are the ones doing the teaching, not me.

They all know it, too, because I read that book to them over and over and over, laughing and crying every time. 

If you're a mom and you haven't read it, you need to. But have a tissue handy. I'm serious. 

"I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, As long as I'm living my baby you'll be."

Sigh.

But back to Daniel's birthday...

For the first time in a long time, I didn't make cyclops cookies. I just didn't have time. I shouldn't even be taking the time to write this now.

But, hey, you only celebrate the 27th anniversary of your middle child's birth once, right? So I bought him beer, which I hope kind of made up for no cyclops cookies.

 

 

Happy birthday, Daniel! Here's to many, many more!

Finishing a blog post, and other sweet!s from September...

 

Tonight there's a super moon and lunar eclipse, all rolled into one event. I planned to take photos as the moon rose above the horizon, but discovered my camera battery was dead!

So I charged it some and then made it out in time to witness the eclipse with Daniel, who just arrived home safely from a weekend trip to west Texas with his brother, where they hiked through canyons, visited eclectic art exhibits, experienced a music festival, and even saw the Marfa lights. Sweet!

However, the photos I took of the eclipse are pretty lame because my equipment isn't quite high tech enough, so I'm not even going to share them here, but standing there in the quiet of the night with my son, watching the moon slowly turn dark, was just the peaceful break I needed after a hectic, high stress week. 

The thing is, September overflowed with sweet! moments, but it rushed by so fast, it was hard to really stop and savor them. So I'm determined to get back into the practice of recording them, in some form or fashion. And reviewing them here on my blog helps a lot!

So, working backward from the lunar eclipse, here are a few I've gathered this month...

 

Anticipation of an annual weekend at the beach with friends, which isn't as good as the actual weekend, but it's still a shining light full of hope! (This photo is from last year.)

 

Joining other council members from your church for an inspirational retreat. A peaceful setting, an energetic, passionate, funny leader, and a Pope Selfie, courtesy of an iPhone app! 

After viewing several properties with a young family, walking into yet another house and knowing immediately it was just the right one for them.

Remembering the night 34 years ago when you met your love for the very first time.

 

Walking your puppy in the glow of a glorious sunrise.

 

Finding out your friend has published another book! (Buy it on Amazon and I'll get a couple of pennies! Beneath this Mountain, by Byron Tully)

 

Thinking you're attending the surprise 30th birthday party of a girl/woman you've watched grow up, and then witnessing a proposal of marriage from her boyfriend who was supposed to still be in Iraq (on his 4th tour of duty, no less.) Whew! That was a lot of sweet!s for one night!

 

Hitting a pinata for the first time in 50 years! (This photo is obviously not me. It's my son, who got lots of practice thanks to all of his birthday parties growing up. But I do have a video of myself hitting it, courtesy of my daughter-in-law's cousin. (Thanks, Sierra!) I just have to say, hitting a pinata is GREAT therapy!)

 

Football Fiestas thrown by your kids. (My son and his wife are party meisters! Food, fun, activities, games, football on several televisions, and even crafts for all ages.) 

 

The Texas Capitol Rotunda.

 

Attending a Platinum Top 50 Real Estate Agents of Austin event at Lakeway Resort, and witnessing a gorgeous sunset on Lake Travis.

  

 Another sunset on Lake Travis.

 

 

Joining others to pray for a friend's baby grandson who will be undergoing heart surgery today, Tuesday, September 29. Please join us!

Celebrating a friend's birthday at an awesome Italian restaurant.

Not having to replace your whole air-conditioning system in your house... yet.

 

 Young love and heroes.

    Dinner and a movie with friends.

    Enjoying a performance by accordion players with your mom.

 

A day of sunshine and water on Lake Travis, with your son and daughter-in-law and friends.

 

 

Remembering and honoring a special person. 

 

(You may have guessed that I actually started this post last night. Probably even before that, but I had good intentions last night. What matters most, for me, is being able to look back through the quick iPhone photos to see that the month was truly full of special moments. Too often I let them pass and fade away, forgotten. Taken for granted.

Well, here's one for today. A sweet young couple closed on their current home today after having their offer on a new home accepted late last night. My job is full of ups and downs, but that was definitely one of the ups. 

So here's to an October full of balance and appreciation and focus, where no sweet! slips away unnoticed!)

 

"Gratitude is an art of painting an adversity into a lovely picture."

~Kak Sri

 

Perseverance, Christmas Parties, and other sweet!s

On my way to a friend's Christmas party last night, I stopped to buy a bottle of wine. It didn't take me long to find just the right one: Perseverance.

I had no idea if it was any good, but I loved the name and it was affordable. That's the kind of wine afficianado I am. I ended up buying three: one for the party, one for a client, and one for me. 

 

 

The party was at my friend Darla's house. She's the ultimate hostess, always going overboard. I've been lucky enough to have her throw a couple of surprise birthday parties for me in the past. She's the main reason I'm now typing on this gorgeous Mac!

So I wasn't surprised to find a tableful of irresistable culinary delights in the dining room (bacon with pecans and syrup!) and several stations set up outside on the deck: a hot chocolate station, a popcorn station, and a s'more station. She also had two firepits, a heater, and a basket of blankets out there, with plenty of cute signs and candles. 

She's nuts! But I love going to her parties. 

 

 

This afternoon I finally decorated my house for Christmas and, with Daniel's help, emptied my living room of boxes. I'll leave it all up until Epiphany, January 6, so it's really not too late.  

Most of my decorations are sentimental - a lot of them handmade by my kids years ago - so decorating is always a trip down Christmas-memory lane for me. I don't think I've bought anything new since the mid-90's.  It's pure kitsch, but I love it. 

One of my favorites - a collection of Christmas books. I finally gathered most of them together last year out of a dozen different boxes. 

Now, for the time to sit and read each one again... that would be pretty sweet!

 

 

Here are a few other sweet!s from the past week...

 

Monday: a day at home to try to get caught up; a friend taking the time to visit your mom; real estate closings; helping a friend buy a lakefront lot; decorating your Christmas tree and watching "Elf" with your kids

Tuesday: learning about commercial real estate and visiting with a past client; a fellow pastoral council member opening his home for your December meeting, providing a hearty stew, good wine, and great fellowship

 

 

Wednesday: morning walks with your puppy; finally ordering the bifocals you've been holding off on for years, thanks to some leftover health account money; paydays

Thursday: winning a Mary Kay Cosmetics door prize; a good report from your mom's physical and occupational therapist; watching "Guns of Navarone" with your mom

Friday: visiting with a friend and meeting her sweet puppy dog; patient aides who work with your mom; a sister who takes care of your mom's Medicaid paperwork; a pot of chili on a chilly night; a good movie with your son

Saturday: a visit with, and a blessing from, your Confirmation priest; your son dusting and vacuuming for you; getting together with friends at a Christmas party; neighborhood Christmas lights; fun gifts from friends who know you really well

 

 

Sunday: your son blocking your puppy in his room so she doesn't wake you up too early; swapping real estate horror stories with friends; watching Christmas Hallmark movies with your mom; finally decorating your house for Christmas and clearing the boxes from your living room

I hope you've had a week full of sweet!s, and the next overflows with blessings! 

 

May Peace be your gift at Christmas and your blessing all year through!

~Author Unknown

Nightowls, Revisiting Spring, and other Sweet!s

 

Temperatures here have been in the 70's and 80's. Wildflowers, mostly yellows and purples, line the roadside and dot the woods.

Birds chatter and sing in the treetops, bright green bushes dotted with new blooms hum with industrious bees, and Monarch butterflies dance among the snow-on-the-prairie.

 

 

Is this spring or autumn? It doesn't matter to me what you call it... I'm loving it!

It's been a busy week, starting with my son's birthday on Monday, a Google City Expert event downtown Tuesday night, my church pastoral council meeting Wednesday night, and another church committee meeting Thursday night, for our Oktoberfest scheduled for October 25.

(It's our major fundraiser and we're down to the wire. If you'll be in my area this Saturday, plan to stop by. It's going to be a lot of fun!)

I was grateful I had contracts and property searches to do for clients Friday and Saturday night that kept me home. Later, with work out of the way, I was able to relax and watch movies with my kids.

Overall, it was a week dotted with sweets, much like the woods dotted with wildflowers right now.

 

 

Here are a few other sweet!s from the week...

 

Monday: celebrating your son's birthday; driving through the Texas hill country on a glorious autumn day; a reuben sandwich at the Double Horn Brewing Company; laughing so hard at your kids you choke on a sip of water; Cyclops Cookies

 

Tuesday: office meetings, where you can catch up with friends, learn something new, and get a free lunch; Google City Expert events with your kids; the Austin skyline at night; hearing the band "The NightOwls" for the first time

 

  

Wednesday: sleeping in an extra hour; autumn wildflowers; reaching an agreement on an offer; getting referrals from friends 

Thursday: running at dawn with your puppy; a haircut; being part of your church's Oktoberfest team

Friday: pink mornings; being an advocate for your mom; new clients;  puppy kisses; a movie with your son

Saturday: sleeping in; meeting your new neighbor in person; Monarch butterflies passing through on their way to Mexico; a surprise gift from a friend waiting for you in your mailbox; enjoying episodes of "The Tick" with your kids

Sunday: moving forward with two separate contracts; caregivers who truly care; hearing that your friend's audiobook is coming out in paperback and he's sending you an autographed copy!

I'm wishing for you a week dotted with sweet moments. Remember...

 

 

The best things in life are nearest:

 

Breath in your nostrils, light in your eyes, flowers at your feet, duties at your hand, the path of right just before you. 

 

Then do not grasp at the stars, but do life's plain, common work as it comes, certain that daily duties and daily bread are the sweetest things in life.

 

 ~Robert Louis Stevenson

Sunday afternoons and belated sweets

 

Just before sunset this afternoon, I escaped to the front porch swing with a glass of wine and a long-lost book from my childhood. I'd spent the day taking care of the dogs, going to church, fixing one of my signs that got knocked over by city mowers, visitng my mom, and finally making it to the grocery store.

I was pooped.

It was an overdue appointment with myself, the book, and Belle, who joined me on the porch and dozed on her bed while I read.

This whole past week has been exhausting, although not necessarily in a bad way. One of my listings had multiple offers, and while I hate telling anyone they lost, it's the best scenario you can wish for for your seller.

I've also been busy trying to snag a lease for out-of-state buyers who are moving to Austin next week. They want to get a feel for Austin before buying. I don't blame them, but I think they finally believe what I told them about leasing being tougher than buying in some ways.

And then there are searches for other buyers, promotions for other sellers, and the neverending need to get more clients in your pipeline. 

It felt good to slip away from all of that for half an hour this afternoon...

 

 

I searched for this book for 40 years, before finally coming across it last year in an online bookstore, priced far beyond my budget. My son Daniel - more of a booklover than me, if that's possible - came to the rescue and bought it for me as an early Christmas present.

When it arrived in the mail, it was like seeing an old friend for the first time in so many years... but I was so busy at the time that it sat untouched on my bookshelf until last week, when I decided I'd had enough of just reading real estate books and magazines. I was ready for an escape, the kind only a work of fiction can provide.

And what better escape when you're pressed on all sides with grownup problems, than to dive back into your childhood?

 

 

These small iris-shaped flowers line our dirt road again. They never appeared last autumn, I guess because of the drought, so what a sweet surprise to spot them popping up this year.

 

 

After a brief rally, Max has gotten picky about eating again, changing his preferences from one day to another and turning his nose up at whatever we're offering more than actually eating. 

Consequently, he's gotten weak again, and has skipped the past two morning walks, although he still climbs the hill from his doghouse to lounge in his porch bed, and he seems very happy there, occasionally barking to prove he's got our backs.

So Belle and I have gone on without him. She's in such a hurry to cover a lot of ground but get back to check on him that I've ended up having to run to keep up. It's been good for both of us.

 

 

Thursday evening's forecast included a line of thunderstorms passing through, thanks to a cold front. 

Somehow it passed by us without so much as a drop, but then stalled for a few hours so that we had the most amazing lightshow on our horizon, like a strobe light caught inside of a huge cloud.

Daniel and I stood in the middle of our road watching it for at least half an hour, totally mesmerized. There was no thunder, no rain. It was one of the weirdest, most beautiful things I've ever witnessed.

I took several shots without much hope that I could actually capture it. I'm pleasantly surprised they came out as good as they did, although none of them truly did it justice. 

Earlier that evening I had joined a bunch of other Austin Realtors for a networking party at The Thinkery, a new children's museum. We're members of Broker Underground ... essentially a Facebook group where we can promote our listings, find properties for our buyers, share information about vendors, and keep up to date with what's happening in Austin real estate. 

While it's true in a way that agents are competing against each other, it's also true that we have to work together to help our clients and help continually improve our industry. Events like this, where we come face-to-face in a relaxed environment, help us connect... plus they're just a lot of fun and a great way to relieve stress.

 

 

Last Sunday I was lucky enough to sit on the front row at a house concert and listen to the music of Shake Russell, Michael Hearne, and Mike Roberts.

I can't tell you how many times I've heard some of those songs over the past four decades, but they still go straight to my heart and soul. 

 

I've missed keeping an official record of my weekly sweet! moments. I plan to start it back up and invite you to do the same, because...

The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions - the little, soon-forgotten charities of a kiss or a smile, a kind look, a heartfelt compliment, and the countless infinitesimals of pleasurable and genial feeling.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Surprises...

 

 

“God put us here, on this carnival ride.

We close our eyes never knowing where it'll take us next.” 

~Carrie Underwood

 

There are good surprises, and there are bad surprises.

Years ago I met a woman who impressed me with her beauty and bubbly personality. I didn't know her well, and haven't seen her in years, but back then we shared a lot of laughs at monthly PTA bunco games (not as innocent as they sound!)

Today I attended her memorial service. She was barely in her 40's. Learning of her death earlier this week was a bad surprise.

I spotted many friends at the service who I haven't seen or spoken to in years...not since our kids grew up. We all agreed we need to get together, under better circumstances.

I hope we do.

 

 

 

Yesterday I drove to a small town near San Antonio to help surprise my dear friend Nancy for her 50th birthday. I liked being part of a good surprise.

 

  

Nancy was my first friend in Lago Vista, then later agreed to be my Confirmation sponsor when I finally decided to convert to Catholicism after years of attending Mass with Tom and the kids, and months of discussing it with our priest.

Within a few years she had to move away from Lago, but we've somehow held onto our friendship, despite the distance (and age difference!)

 

 

Happy birthday tomorrow, Nancy!

 

"May your September be spacious like a long, slow bloom..." 

I've been reading Jennifer Richardson's beautiful, evocative, inspirational prose and photographs on her blog Ripplespeak for a few years now, so when she announced she was giving away a copy of her monthly zine, I crossed my fingers and tossed my comment into the bag. 

What a great surprise to hear I'd won! She sent two copies - one for me and one for my mom.

 Her words are like sunshine and fresh air, and I know I'll keep her zine close by to read often. You can get your own at her Etsy shop, Ripplesongs.

 

 

Another one of my favorite writers is Wolf Pascoe, author of the blog, Just Add Father.  We met in person when he came to Austin for a blog conference a few years ago.

Wolf is actually a pseudonym. Besides being a gifted writer, he's an anesthesiologist. He wrote about it in an e-book "Breathing for Two" last year. I immediately bought it, of course, but months turned into a year while it sat unread on my computer. (Who has time to read for pleasure when they're starting a business?)

So I finally broke down and bought the audio book last week. Wolf himself read it to me while I worked out and drove around Austin. (Why didn't I do this before?)

Here's my review on Amazon...

"In "Breathing for Two", Wolf Pascoe does a wonderful job weaving his story through the dry medical stuff, making even the history of anesthesiology come alive for the reader. He compels us to care about his patients and root for him when things go wrong. And he's very honest and upfront about his mistakes. I felt I was standing right beside him in anatomy class, and then later, as he watched over his patients. He relates the lessons he has learned in his decades as an anesthesiologist in such a way that they can be applied to everyone and to all areas of life. This is a book I could read over and over again, because I feel each time I'll get something new from it. I recommend the audio version - Wolf is a wonderful reader."

In short, go buy this book!

I wasn't surprised I loved the book, but I never thought I would like audio books, so that was a great surprise. I have two other e-books written by friends getting dusty on my computer. I'm going to see if there are audio versions for those, as well!

 

A week ago, Tom and I were discussing making that decision about Max. This morning, he made it to the top of the walkway before I did, and while we didn't go on a long walk, he did prance around and play with Belle. 

I believe in miracles. They are the best surprises, aren't they?

 

"I wish you hopeful eyes, fresh wings, and a second wind in the living."

~ Jennifer Richardson

 

Love and Respect

There have been mornings when, after snapping photos of birds or leaves or bugs, I turn and discover Max and Belle are nowhere in sight.

They've slipped off in a different direction, distracted by an interesting smell or a glimpse of a squirrel, assuming I will follow them (as I often do.)

So I backtrack, calling their names, until finally we're back together, headed along the same path.

Relationships can be like that, too. You each have your own interests or responsibilities - which is a good thing, of course - but sometimes you forget to check on each other.

You get caught up in what you're doing as if it's all that matters, oblivious to what the other is going through, assuming they are right there with you...until you look up and find you're all alone.

If you're lucky, you can backtrack and find each other. But often, that isn't the case, as we all know.

There's a perception that love conquers all. It does, but it's not that simple. It doesn't just happen automatically.

When I found out I was pregnant with my first child, I didn't just assume all knowledge about pregnancy and motherhood would come naturally. I bought books and subscribed to parenting magazines. I wasn't taking any chances.

And when Tom decided to build a house, he didn't just trust his vision or his gift for woodworking. He bought books and subscribed to magazines about construction, tools, and building. He wanted to make sure the house was done right and could weather any storm.

Yet we didn't treat marriage the same way. It never occurred to us when we decided to get married thirty-two years ago that we should educate ourselves beyond the few "Engagement Encounter" sessions the Catholic church required.

We didn't even think we needed those. After all, it was pretty much love at first sight for us. We were meant to be together, totally in sync, thought alike, had the same visions, opinions, and goals...

We were in love. We didn't need anything else.

If you've been married very long, you're probably laughing by now. You know it's not that easy.

Before we knew what was happening, we found ourselves drifting off on different paths, seeing issues from different perspectives, backtracking, compromising, giving in, or digging in.

But despite some pretty tense times in our marriage, we never considered counseling or workshops of any kind along the way.  We were special, more in-tune with each other and more in love than anyone else in the history of the world had ever been. We could work it out ourselves.

However, several couples who I thought were special like us have recently fallen apart, or come close to it, after decades together, which made me realize Tom and I have really just been lucky that we've made it as far as we have.

Two friends separately told me about one particular book that helped save their marriages. I became curious, and because my marriage is very precious to me, I ordered a copy to read myself. 

The premise of "Love and Respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is that women's basic need is love and men's is respect. Unconditional love. Unconditional respect.

I admit that made me stop and think. I've always believed respect should be earned. How do you respect unconditionally?

But...if love can be unconditional, then I had to consider that respect could be, too. So I kept reading.

I admit, there were times while reading that the feminist in me clenched her teeth, rolled her eyes, and ranted over certain passages. I need respect, too, for crying out loud! I have a brain!

But I had been forewarned by one of the friends...a very independent, outspoken, strong woman...that that would happen, and to give the book a chance. To read it all the way through.

So I kept reading. And I'm glad I did. Sure enough, by the end, he mentions all of the exceptions I thought of and addresses my questions.

I wish the book had been around and someone had recommended it when we were newlyweds. If we'd read it way back then, maybe we would have avoided most of the bumpy roads we've taken. The book opened my eyes to many mistakes I'd made over the years that created a lot (but not all!) of those bumps. 

Mostly he points out what triggers the "crazy-cycle" couples often get into and give good advice on how to avoid it, or how to get out of it when you forget and slip back into it.

Eggerichs theory is Bible-based and the book is laced with verses, but even if you're not a Christian, I think you'll see that what he suggests is very practical. It's actually good advice for any relationship...between you and your children, your parents, your co-workers, your boss...

So this is my Valentine's Day gift to you...a recommendation to educate yourself if you're in a relationship, whether it's through this book or or a workshop or some other way that helps you communicate and smooth out the bumps...or avoid them altogether. Otherwise you might find yourself at a dead-end, staring at a stranger.

Treat your love like the precious treasure it is. Love deserves that much.

(If you're not in a relationship with someone else, you're still in a relationship with you! And that's still a precious treasure! Treat yourself accordingly!)

Happy Valentine's Day!

If you've got a recommendation for a book, workshop, or just something you've discovered that helps relationships grow stronger, please share in the comments!

 

 

                    Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

(Disclosure: I'm an Amazon Affiliate. If you buy it through this link, I get a few pennies. But that's not why I'm recommending it. )

Five Things

 

 

1. Last year I took my kids to see The Hobbit  right before Christmas. We loved it so much, we decided to make it a Christmas tradition by seeing Part 2, "The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug", last night. 

Our consensus? It sucked...and I don't use that word often or lightly. I was so disappointed. I'll wait to see Part 3 on Netflix. Or I'll just skip it and read the book again.

On the up side, I spent an evening with my kids and got my movie popcorn fix!

 

2. Someone plugged my name and number into a zillion auto insurance online quote searches. We've been inundated with phone calls today.

Who would hate me that much?

 

3. I love that Pope Frances tweets, photo bombs, and was a bar bouncer once upon a time. Besides all the other stuff there is to love about him, of course.

 

4. Five of my high school classmates passed away in 2013. One would be too many, but five? We're only 54, for goodness sake. We've pinky-sworn to be careful and take care of ourselves and do all within our power to keep the number zero in 2014. 

 

5. Last week I wore two jackets, a hat, and gloves on my morning walks. Today I was in shorts and a tank top.

Crazy Texas weather.

 

 Joining Nancy at A Rural Journal

 

Dancing, Sunshine, and other sweets

 

 

 

 

 

After several days of gray skies and temperatures below freezing, the sun finally made an appearance yesterday afternoon. And the clouds even stayed away long enough for me to say hello to a half moon and a sky full of stars that dripped all the way to the tree tops.

Hallelujah! My spirit soars under a clear sky, and even though this morning I woke to another gray sky and cold drizzle, I feel recharged. 

Here are some other sweet!s from my past week...

 

Monday: finding a lucky penny, reminding you "In God We Trust" just when you're feeling overwhelmed; getting a lease client while on phone duty; your first real estate paycheck; finally finishing the weeding of your library

 

 

Tuesday: remembering the day you became a mother, and wishing your oldest a happy birthday; touring a million dollar home set in the hills near Austin; juniper trees lining the roadsides decorated for Christmas; a long-overdue re-blonding

Wednesday: guidance for your 2014 business plan; God's art in the sky, made of wind and clouds

Thursday: a bus ride with colleagues to Fredericksburg, Texas; the Christmas light displays in Johnson City

 

 

Friday: dry roads so you can attend your company party and enjoy dancing, photo booth sessions, making new friends, and chocolate fountains

 

 

Saturday: your sister home safe after a cruise; not having to leave your house except to walk your puppies

Sunday: your husband walking in with an armload of firewood on a cold morning, and assurance that his car is loaded down with more; a telephone visit with your sister-in-law, even if it isn't all great news; your son learning how to make Terry Boer's Chicken and Rice casserole; an evening of visiting with friends; couples in their 80's who are still tearing up the dance floor

 

Monday: attending a class that supports your belief that a Realtor is more public servant than salesperson; getting a new customer while your watch gets a new battery in the mall; nurses who put their patients above job security

 

How's the weather where you are?

If it's cold and gray, I hope you find a way to recharge, too! (Try dancing!)

 

There is a bit of insanity in dancing that does everybody a great deal of good.

~ Edwin Denby

Bittersweet

 

 

 

I spotted it when I stepped out onto the front porch one morning this past week, in between trips to Houston. I noticed the fossil first, thinking it had fallen from its spot on the windowsill above the bench where it now rested.

Then I realized it had been placed there to hold down a handwritten note.

"...I wanted to drop you a note and let you know you and your family are in my prayers..." 

It was from my longtime friend George. He has been making multiple trips from Houston to San Angelo to see his mother-in-law, who they discovered had lung cancer earlier this summer, and tries to vary it by taking different routes.

He left the note on Sunday. On Monday, a few hours after I found the note, his mother-in-law passed away. On Tuesday, while I said my last goodbye to my Daddy, he was on his way to San Angelo again, to help his wife say goodbye to her mother.

Considering my house is a mile down a dirt road, off of a small highway that twists and turns and isn't a shortcut between San Angelo and Houston by any means, it's a huge honor that he took the time to go that way to ease my pain over losing my dad, especially when he knew I wasn't home.

A few years ago in a post about friendship, I spoke of it as a garden that needs to be watered. Ever since then, we've referred to our infrequent emails as 'watering the garden'. 

So on the back of the note he sketched a flower and added these words: "You are a daisy in my garden...May God continue to shine through you and give you Peace...Can you feel the water?"

All those years ago, when we worked on the high school yearbook together and planned to go sky-diving, we never imagined that one day our friendship would include these days of mourning each other's losses. And I'm glad we didn't.

However, I am so very grateful we're still friends, flowers in each other's gardens.

(Please keep George, his wife, and their family in your prayers!)

A good friend is a connection to life -

a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world. 

~Lois Wyse

 

Here are a few other bittersweets from my past week...

 

Sunday: joining with your siblings to support your mom after your father's passing; a safe journey home after a heartbreaking weekend  

Monday: a day to immerse yourself in images from your father's life that will become a slideshow memorial; a safe journey back to your childhood home with two of your kids, and the safe arrival of two more

Tuesday: helping your mom prepare for your dad's funeral; an ice chest full of eggs, bacon, and biscuits waiting on your parents' doorstep, courtesy of a friend; a limo driver named Paul, who provides just the right amount of conversation on a tough day; friends who help you mourn your father; "Day is Done" by a solitary trumpet, in honor of your father's service to his country 

 

Wednesday: breakfast, courtesy of and the friend who left the ice chest full of food on the porch the day before, and your son, who took his Granddaddy's place at the stove; fitting the huge schefflera plant from your Divas and other plants from friends into your car trunk; a safe journey home; Whataburger in LaGrange at sunset with your kids

Thursday: winning a book you wanted in a contest in your lead generation class; love, in the form of cards, waiting for you in your mailbox

 

Friday: lunch with new friends/colleagues; your new business cards waiting for you on the front porch; a walk with your puppies at sunset

 

Saturday: a day at home to catch your breath; your cousin traveling to see your mom and take her to lunch; tiny purple flowers shaped like Easter lilies

 

Sunday: Mass with your kids and hugs from your friends; cleaning and organizing sprees, even if they only make a dent; your husband making it home, safe and sound, after his own long journey to support his brother during a sad time

I hope your week has been full of more sweet!s than bittersweets. Share them here! If nothing else, look around at those you call friends, and give thanks. 

“When life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate. And when life is bitter, say thank you and grow.” 

 ~ Shauna Niequist

 

 

At long last, we meet again...

They were waiting for me in the mailbox yesterday evening.

Ah, Mark and Debbie...you haven't aged a bit since I last saw you forty-one years ago!

 

 

I don't remember when the book first appeared in our home, but I know I had discovered it by the time I was in 4th grade and spent a week at home with chicken pox, reading and sipping on bottles of cold Coca-Cola.

(Chicken pox that first time was actually quite pleasant. Twenty years later I had it again - not pleasant at all!)

By the time I was in 7th grade and Cousins was snatched from my school locker, I had read the book at least a dozen times. I mourned its loss, but years passed before I began searching for it... scanning the titles of books in every antique store I entered, recruiting friends and even my kids to keep an eye out for it. 

Often, in the middle of some writing project, I would think of it and do a quick Google search, only a fraction of a glimmer of hope driving me on.

It didn't help that I couldn't remember the author, and that there were quite a few famous books with the same title. 

But then...a couple of weeks ago I was ordering a book about real estate a friend had recommended, on an online site she had also recommended because of the cheap prices.

Out of habit, and still hanging on to that tattered bit of hope, I typed in Cousins. The usuals popped up, but I was able to narrow the search to 'old children's books' and then...there it was. I couldn't believe it! 

However, the books offered weren't cheap. Over the years Cousins had become a collector's item, it seemed. Who knew? I thought I was the only one who remembered it.

My kids told me I should just splurge and get it, but I remembered we were broke and resigned myself to having to wait a little longer to actually hold it in my hands.

Besides, I was happy just knowing the author's name and that several copies were still out there.

But my sweet, book-loving, employed son told me he would pay for it. An early Christmas present.

It was in my shopping cart before he finished talking, and within minutes, it was mine.

Of course, I had to wait for it to be shipped, but what's a couple of weeks after forty-one years?

 

 

Their search for Felicity begins (again), but hallelujah! my search for them has ended.

Sweet!

And here are a few other sweet!s from the past week...

 

Monday: your Hollow dotted with yellow flowers; spending the day at your church...and getting paid for it

Tuesday: rising while it's still dark to lay on your car with your daughter, staring up at the sky, watching meteors and fire balls shoot across the sky; thinking back to your wedding day, 31 years ago; visiting a real estate agency and deciding it's a good fit 

 

Wednesday: roasted veggies a la Jessie; facing your new adventure, head-on; a movie with your daughter

Thursday: your puppy running for joy; friendly people who put you at ease when taking your fingerprints; phone calls from your mom; finally making it to the grocery store

 

Friday: pink prickly pear fruit; a day at home for to-do lists; laughing over an episode of Dark Shadows with your son  

Saturday: a free lunch; learning more about real estate; seeing your son and daughter-in-law's new home; surprises in your mail box; studying real estate on the back porch until the sun drops too low to read

Sunday: empty toll roads when you're running late; another free lunch; doing better on your practice real estate exam than you thought you were; hearing that your dad didn't hurt himself in his latest fall; unpacking forgotten books from boxes; identifying weird scat with your son via an online site (coyote, not mountain lion, we think - I'll spare you the photo)

What were some of your sweet! surprises this week? Share!

"The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate."

~ Oprah Winfrey

Dog Days of Summer

There are dogs in my house.

Winter and jackets are a distant memory. I'm not even sure how many days in a row we've soared above 100 degrees now, and there's no end in sight. We are breaking records left and right here in Central Texas. 

Morning walks happen before the sun is fully awake...or not at all.

We even have sand from the Sahara desert swirling in our atmosphere!

So I'm grateful for air conditioning, in my car and my house...and also for stained concrete floors downstairs so the puppies can turn into house dogs during the day with no worries about earlier swims in the pond.

 

(We knew this old bed pad would come in handy some day!)

As some of you may know, Max, our German Shepherd/Great Dane, was a stray who adopted us about ten years ago, when he was just a puppy...although, since he was already about the same size as our yellow lab mix, Charly, we didn't realize he was just a baby. 

He grew to be twice Charly's size, but remained a puppy at heart until Charly's death a few years ago.

We didn't plan to get another puppy, but Max was despondent, so when TG spotted a photo of Belle on Facebook, and we heard she was a wandering stray puppy searching for a home just like Max had been...well, how could we resist? 

 

(See the boxes behind her? Our empty nest is temporarily full again.)

So now we have Belle and Max, filling in for those who have gone before...Charly, Chewy, Maggie, and Jake...keeping the memory of those other sweet puppies alive while settling into their own spots in our hearts and easing the pain of losing the others.  

Stephanie Weaver of Recipe Renovator, has written a book about pet love and loss, called Golden Angels, about Buddy Girl, their first dog, who they lost at age 11 to an aggressive cancer, and Daisy May, their new puppy, a year-and-a-half old.

Stephanie has undertaken a Kickstarter campaign to get her book into print and to help spread the word through a book tour. 

If you are a pet lover, please check out her site. She is offering some nice thank you gifts for people who donate to her campaign.

“It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them. 
And every new dog that comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. 
If I live long enough, all the components of my heart will be a dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they.”

~Anonymous 

 

 

Breathing...and other sweet things in life

We've been on a rollercoaster ride with my parents the past two days...my sister, Brenda, on the front lines with them, dealing with EMS and emergency rooms...me on the receiving end of texts and phone updates from her.  

It started yesterday, when Daddy apparently had a mini-stroke. The sweet! of it is he made it home from the grocery store before it really hit, and by the time EMS arrived, he had recovered.

But during the excitement, my mom fell. She seemed okay at the time, and EMS helped her back into her wheelchair, but this morning when Brenda checked on her and Daddy after church, Mama couldn't put her weight on her left hip. EMS made another visit to the house, but this time whisked Mama off to the hospital, Brenda and Daddy in a car close behind them.

Thank God (literally!) Mama's hip isn't fractured. (I tell you what, that woman has bones of steel!)

But while there, a nurse noticed Daddy looking a little saggy and droopy on one side of his face and body. Sure enough, he was having another mini-stroke. They admitted him, too, and for a time the texts and calls I received today from my sister made me think I needed to head straight to Houston right after work if I wanted to tell my Daddy goodbye one last time.

But...another sweet!...his CAT scan showed no blood on the brain. Daddy perked up, talked to my sister, and asked for a glass of milk. The doctor was concerned about his blood sugar and blood pressure, but that's a broken record I've been listening to, and singing along with, the past ten months.

Seeing as how my Daddy doesn't think he needs his diabetes or heart medicine, the record is bound to start skipping more and more. We're thinking it's time to get firm with those two about moving out of their home of 50+ years into some kind of assisted living.

Please tell me...how do you practice tough love on your parents? 

I would appreciate your prayers, but the good thing is, we don't have to do anything about it tonight, so I'm just giving thanks that Mama doesn't have a fractured hip and I don't have to rush to Houston. 

Those are the sweet!est things I can imagine right now. But here are a few others from the past week...

 

 

Sunday: time between church and work to take your puppies for a swim in the backyard "pool"; a chance to meet with your writing group again after several missed meetings

Monday: working in your church again; watching rain pouring down outside of your window; starting your second real estate class, moving closer to your goal; a successful Silpada party, where you earn enough to pay 1/4 of your real estate class expense, plus get a beautiful silver bracelet for free; photos of your bff's brand-new grandson

Tuesday: people who volunteer for your church; church bells that play "How Great Thou Art" and other hymns; your son and daughter-in-law buying their first home

 

Wednesday: realizing the coral snake lying a few feet away is dead; visiting with retirees who hang around after communion services, drinking coffee; a gift of tomatoes, squash, and eggplant, fresh from a garden; your story about your dad published on savvydad.com

Thursday: a 95 on your second real estate final; a classmate with jumper cables when you discover your car battery is dead after class; a gorgeous sunset keeping you company on the way home

Friday: plants that smell like spearment; cardinals playing tag all around you; arriving at work early enough to receive communion; a long therapeutic girl-talk visit with a friend

Saturday: great customers all day long; an overnight visit with your son, daughter-in-law, and grandpuppy

Sunday: after a rollercoaster day of texts from your sister about your parents, by the end of it your mom does NOT have a fractured hip, your dad's CAT scan looks good, and you don't have to be torn about whether to take off work to see them; your husband making brownies while you're at work

 

This morning at church we had a visiting priest, originally from Nigeria - Father Justin Udomah. He told a great story about a pickpocket stealing his wallet, leaving him stranded in a small town...how he asked for help at a local church but was turned down.

He said he was tempted to get angry, but instead, decided then and there that he would never turn away anyone in need. He used the experience to illustrate the story of the Good Samaritan and how we should help each other, but he also stressed the importance of turning the negative in our lives into positive results. 

I really liked that.

If you find you have a hard time finding the sweet! moments in your day, or turning the negative into positive, I recommend a book that will help: Basket of Blessings: 31 Days to a More Grateful Heart , by Karen O'Connor. (Full disclosure: this is an Amazon Affiliate link, but I wouldn't offer it if I didn't really recommend it!)

I received it in a box of books Tom brought me from my mother-in-law. It was the first one I read, and now I'm re-reading it, even though I've already developed the habit of looking for those sweet! moments in my day. I'm always looking for inspiration. This book helps you learn to recognize the blessings all around you and make gratitude part of your every day life.

I hope your week overflows wth sweet! moments...a basket overflowing with blessings.

Gratitude is an art of painting an adversity into a lovely picture. 

~Kak Sri

 

 

 

Why I'm My Father's Daughter

 

If Daddy answers the phone when I call my parents, our conversation is a quick one.

"I can't talk," he'll complain. 

"You sound fine to me," I'll tell him. 

"What? I can't hear you. Here's your mother."

And that's that.

Strokes have taken their toll on his vocal chords. The effort to speak is too much for him and his voice gives out after just a few words. Perhaps his hearing loss can be blamed on strokes, too. (Although hearing aids could help with that. Sigh.)

But he was never one to talk much, anyway, and especially not on the phone. If I wanted or needed to talk, I went to my mother. I could talk to her about anything, and I'm very grateful for that.

 

Daddy and I communicated in other ways, though. We teased each other and toured old houses. We fought over who was going to mow the yard.

He chauffeured me and my friends to the movies and high school basketball games before I got my license. He taught me how to drive, and tried to teach me how to play golf and be a better bowler...without much luck.

Instead, I tagged along with him on the golf course, satisfied to watch him and admire the beauty of the courses. We took road trips to visit his mother, traveling along the back highways with the windows down, stopping often to visit historical sites or other interesting places that caught my eye or his.

We square-danced.

 

 

But words still formed our greatest connection. I was seven, maybe eight, when I uttered that inevitable childhood chant: "I'm bored." 

 "Bored? Here, read this," he said, handing me an old, mildewed copy of Black Beauty, "You'll never be bored again."

Well, I'm not sure if those were his exact words, but they should have been. I was hooked, and as long as I've had something handy to read (and I try to make sure I do), I've never been bored again. 

Besides Anna Sewell's Black Beauty - and hence, every horse book I could get my hands on - Daddy got me hooked on historical fiction via James Michener and Leon Uris. It's still my first love.

He also introduced me to Leon Hale and his Texas-flavored, rambling, memoirish columns in the Houston Post (and then the Chronicle)...the inspiration for my own personal essays and blog posts, I'm sure. I still read his columns online.

Because of Daddy, I surround myself with books, and I'm partial to old ones.

I read our ancient copies of Black Beauty, Call of the Wild, Daddy-Long-Legs, and A Girl of the Limberlost over and over and over, and to this day the smell of a musty book takes me miles away in my mind to those stories.

When I enter an antique store, I head straight for the book section. Not to buy, necessarily, but just to breathe, feel, and say Hello, you're not forgotten.

Our house overflowed in paperbacks, too, though. Daddy always had one in his metal lunchbox, usually a Louis L'Amour, and when I followed in his steel-toed-shoe footsteps years later, I always carried a paperback with me to work.

Today neither of us consumes books like we used to. Daddy reads the morning newspaper, but then turns his attention to the television when he's not doing laundry or other household chores.

I'm always somewhere in a just-for-fun book, but it takes me forever to finish them, only cracking them open to read while I eat lunch. When I'm at home. And don't have something else I have to read.

But all of those books and words and voices still bind us, and despite the miles between us, and the words we cannot say, I feel him with me every time I open a book. 

Thank you, Daddy.

 

Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance. 

~Ruth E. Renkel

(This is my contribution to the Generation Fabulous Father's Day BlogHop. Click HERE to see the other wonderful posts about women and their fathers.)

Hard Times Require Furious Dancing

(photo by Deborah Barrett)

I love dancing.

Nevermind the therapeutic benefits, both mental and physical. When I hear certain beats and rhythms, I really can't sit still. If nothing else, my toe will be dancing.

What I love almost as much as dancing is getting others out on the dance floor with me, getting them to forget about what other people think and just get lost in the music and the movement. The smiles on their faces make my heart soar.

But dancing is therapeutic, no doubt about it. Along with writing, photography, spending time with friends, and pounding on my drums, it's one of my favorites. (Sometimes I wonder why I need so much therapy...)

Alas, between working weekends and traveling to see my parents'so much, my dancing nights have dwindled over the past year. Consequently, my stress levels have risen. So this past weekend, I talked a bunch of friends into joining me on the dance floor.

It was a blast!

That was sweet!, but having a friend think of me when she saw a copy of "Hard Times Require Furious Dancing" by Alice Walker in a shop, and take the time to send me the photo of it...well, that was just as sweet! (Thank you again, Debbie!)

Here are a few other sweet! moments from the past week...

 

Monday: bird-watching and bird-listening; managing to put off a trip to the grocery store; taking care of dusty but important things on your to-do list; a day at home with your husband, even if you're busy with your own projects

Tuesday: waking early enough to write and exercise before work; another mallard sighting; redbud trees blooming longer than usual; meeting other photographers; helping a friend celebrate her birthday

Wednesday: waking early enough two days in a row to write and exercise before work; sleeping through a hailstorm when you're exhausted; finishing a book that's driving you crazy wanting to know how it ends

Thursday: time to weed through your untended, overgrown email inbox; your husband caring enough about a wounded snake to put it in a terrarium so it can die in peace; walking the streets of Venice again, at least in your memory and words and photos

Friday: traffic working with you on an early morning road trip; splashes of bluebonnets lining a highway; time to chat with your dad, even if it's in a hospital waiting room; your mom breezing through her nuclear stress test with no problems; getting together with friends and spending hours on a dance floor; good bands

Saturday: sleeping in; biscuits and bacon for breakfast, thanks to your dad; a yard decorated with pink and purple flowers; hanging out with your parents all day; a hug from, and chance to visit with, your sister; a former co-worker contacting you for a potential new job

Sunday: sleeping in, Day 2; a walk around your old neighborhood on a brisk sunshine-filled day; new houses going up in an old neighborhood; a field of tiny yellow flowers; stopping along a highway to capture bluebonnets and Indian paintbrushes with your camera; wiggly puppies welcoming you home

Monday: getting to work in a library with a view of Texas hills and blue skies

 

I hope all of you had a week filled with therapeutic, sweet! moments, too! 

“the world has changed: it did not change without your prayers without your faith without your determination to believe in liberation and kindness; without your dancing through the years that had no beat.”

~ Alice Walker, "Hard Times Require Furious Dancing: New Poems"

Five Things on Friday...oops...I mean, Saturday.

 

 

Prologue:  I meant to post this yesterday but never had a chance. I was on the road at sunrise, spent several hours in the Houston Medical Center while Mama had a (scheduled) nuclear stress test, then met a group of high school friends for a night of catching up, mostly on a dance floor. (You know you're getting old when your knees, feet, and back are sore and stiff after a night of dancing! Totally worth it, though. I think it just means I need to dance more often.)

(P.S. Will those of you who pray say a few for me? I can't divulge why, but God knows. Thank you!)

(P.S.S. Linking with A Rural Journal and Friday Fragments)

1. Hallelujah! I finished The Hunger Games trilogy. Now I can get back to my regular programming.

2. A glance at my closet will reveal a dozen pairs of jeans, three pairs of black dress pants, a handful of dresses, and a whole rack of screen print tees commemorating soccer tournaments, high school one-act plays, company parties, concerts, my kids' colleges, and my fire-fighting training that I rarely wear but can't part with.

Am I the only one that saves all of those shirts?

3. If you use Google Reader, then you probably know it's going away in July. My photographer/blogger friend Lisa Gordon tipped me off about Feedly to replace it. I tried it and love it! It synced perfectly with Google Reader - so easy! And now I can organize the blogs and sites I follow much easier. Thank you, Lisa!

4. We didn't get any snow or ice this past winter, but we did get a lot of drab browns and grays, so I'm relishing the signs of spring all around us. 

I shared more photos of spring in the Hollow on my photography blog HERE.

5. I don't watch much television and can barely tolerate reality shows, but I will do almost anything to spend time with my kids. And that's how I came to watch Toddlers & Tiaras last week, to spend time with TG. It was fun - we laughed a lot and she put up with my running commentary about how it represented everything wrong with the world. 

Today (maybe yesterday...my days are blurring together) she sent me this video. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

 

Five - ish Things on Friday

 

1. Today is my friend Debbie's birthday. I couldn't find the photo I wanted to post, the one of us dressed up like beauty queens, acting silly in her bedroom back in 1973. I've turned my house upside down and still can't find that photo anywhere! I used to be so organized...

That summer I was at Debbie's house more than my own. She lived right around the corner. We'd spend hours listening to her "Bread" album, watching and re-enacting "Ultraman" episodes, and talking on the phone to everyone we knew. Oh, those were the days.

Now forty years later, we're still friends. Even though there have been spaces in our friendship, this past year when my parents were having such a rough time, Debbie let me know she was there to pick up groceries or run them to the doctor or whatever they needed. Her mother volunteered, too. They both still live right around the corner. What peace of mind it gave me to know she was just a phone call from me and a few minutes from my parents. 

Friends like Debbie are such a blessing, so even though her card will be late (sigh) and I can't find that photo, I'm wishing her a beautiful birthday and a year full of her own blessings. She deserves them.

 

And I'll post this photo, probably taken at her birthday party forty years ago. That's her on the back row in the dark pink shirt. I'm the one with my chin in my hand.

I'm blessed to still be friends with almost all of those kids, and in my mind, that's still what they look like. 

 

2. I'm reading The Hunger Games series right now. It's a real page-turner...I'm already into the second book of the trilogy and that usually takes me months, not weeks. In fact, it's all I can do not to just blow off this post, settle on the couch, and read! 

But there's a see-saw love triangle that's driving me crazy. I'm sure there's a point, but it's making the story drag for me. Have you read it? Did you feel that way or is it just me?

 

 

3. I've been blogging for almost 5 years now! That's hard for me to believe. Along the way I've met so many fantastic writers and photographers, and made lasting friendships with people I've never even met in person. (Yes, that's possible!)

In general, bloggers are thoughtful, supportive, and generous, and I have two great examples: 

~Through a recent Valentine's Day Blog Hop, I met Vicki at LoNg OvErduE/BooK ReNewaL. She hosted a giveaway in honor of Valentine's Day and I actually won!  This beautiful Shappy Fabric pin she made from denim and silk arrived in my mail box early this week. (Did I mention most bloggers - except for me - are creative and talented, too?)

 

 

~Knowing I'm a wanna be drummer, my friend Bill ("A Few Clowns Short") sent me a link to a funny video: Mr. Bean playing the drums. It's hilarious!

~Thanks to another blogger/writer friend, Walker (A Woman's Page), I'm privileged to be a member of GenFab, a group "...for bloggers of a certain age looking for support, encouragement, information, blogging tips, and community." Many of these women have intimidating credentials and accomplishments, but on our Facebook page, we're all just "women of a certain age" who aren't finished yet, eager to help each other on our journeys. 

4. I watched two awesome movies this week, in the name of education. "A Man For All Seasons", about the struggle between Sir Thomas More and King Henry VIII which resulted in More's execution, won the 1966 Academy Award for Best Movie. It's so inspiring, learning about this man who stayed true to his conscience, even to death, and in these days of political corruption and rubbery conviction, I think it should be required viewing for all politicians.

The second movie was "Something the Lord Made", an HBO movie starring Mos Def and Alan Rickman about Vivien Thomas, a black man without a degree who partnered with a white doctor to invent bypass surgery, but didn't get credit for his work until years later. It's a very uplifting, inspiring movie as well. 

The students had to pay attention to characterization and conflict and all of that literary stuff while they watched, and even turn in a paper at the end, but I was pretty much able to just sit and enjoy the movies and get paid for it! I love being a substitute teacher!

5. Besides the funny drum video I mentioned in #3, two other friends (one of them a blogger!) sent me priceless videos this week. One will get its own post tomorrow, but I'll share the other here.

This will be me in thirty years, God willing. Be sure you watch it till the end. I dare you not to dance while you're watching! 

                                                

 

 So kids, the lesson for today is...

Don't stop dancing as long as the music is playing.

~me

*********************************

Linking up with

Five Things on Friday

 

 

1. Our property is dotted with small iron crosses, marking the resting places of so many precious furry or feathered or scaly loved ones we've been blessed to know. I miss them all. The one above is Charly's and Frankie's.

 

2. I will never get rich monetarily through my blog, but the friendships I've formed because of it are priceless. I've met so many supportive, encouraging, talented friends, and two of them have recently published books. I didn't hesitate to buy them because they are both wonderful, evocative writers, and I feel confident touting them here even though I haven't had time to read either one.  

Love Always Wags Its Tail, by Kathy H. Porter, is a collection of short essays about the dogs in her life. Wolf Pascoe shares what it's like being an anesthesiologist in Breathing for Two.

Follow the links to their blogs and you'll find information about the books. (I received no monetary compensation for these shout-outs - only friendship and support for my own writing.)

 

3. The next time you go out to eat and the place is packed and you start to get irritated because you feel your waiter is ignoring you, please take a deep breath, realize you are not the only customer in the place and that he/she can only do so much at one time, and please, please, please remember your manners. Thank you.

(Oh. And if the website suggests reservations, either make a reservation or don't get upset if you can't be seated. Especially if you're bringing 7 of your friends.) 

 

4. Back at the beginning of January, I decided I would start getting up at 4:30 a.m. instead of 5:30 a.m. so I would have time to work out and/or write before heading to work, if someone happened to call me out. (That's the life of a substitute teacher - you have to be flexible!)

Well, I finally did it. Once. This week. Yay, me!

 

5. For the past week or so, I've spent hours tormenting myself, listening to one You Tube video after another of potential songs for the mother/son dance at the upcoming wedding.

I just sat here at my computer and cried and cried. It was beautiful agony, I tell you, reliving those mom memories. But here's one that made me laugh, even though I wouldn't do this myself..

(Actually, that theme from the Ninja Turtles brings back so many memories, I almost started crying in this one, too!)

 

Nancy at A Rural Journal inspired me to start my Five Things on Friday, although I mutilated her better-alliterated version, 5 Facts Friday, so I encourage you to read hers and add your own if you're so inclined! And I remembered Mrs. 4444 has a regular Friday Fragments hop, so I'll be linking up there, too. It's a great way to tie up all those loose ends from the week!

Hope you have a great weekend!

Here I Go Again (a BlogHer Book Club review)

 

Think about your life.

If you found a way to go back in time to some point in it, would you try to change anything? Would you take advantage of the chance for a do-over? Perhaps swallow some angry words you've always wished you could take back?

Or would you leave things just as they are?

I've been thinking about that as I read Here I Go Again by Jen Lancaster for the BlogHer Book Club.

For years I said I had no regrets, that I wouldn't change a thing if I had the chance because of my wonderful husband and kids. I've had my share of downs, but overall, I love my life. I'm blessed and I know it.

But the truth is I do have some regrets, and if I had the chance, I'd high-tail it back to the fall of 1977, breakup with my then-boyfriend and attend all of my college classes, instead of driving to Galveston and moping on the seawall about how bad things were in my life right then. (Why do some of us do that, make bad situations worse by creating new problems for ourselves?)

Without the distraction of a cheating boyfriend chipping away at my self-esteem, and by keeping up with my classes, I think dropping out a year later would never have crossed my mind.

I would still have met Tom, because I believe it was part of God's plan for us to be together. (I don't think it was His original plan for me to drop out - I think He just cleaned up what I messed up. He's good at that. Lots of practice, unfortunately.)

With a Chemical Engineering degree in hand, I could still have gone to work at the DuPont chemical plant, where I made so many great friends.

But since I'm not a character in a novel like Lissy Ryder, the main character of Here I go Again who does get a chance for a do-over, I'll just give thanks that God is able to make the best of our bad decisions if we let Him. 

Lissy is a former high school mean girl, all grown up and dealing with the fruits of her lifelong sharp tongue and selfish ways. She is forced to move back in to her childhood home when her husband files for divorce and she loses her Public Relations job.

Her twenty-year high school reunion approaches and, when she sees that many of her former classmates are huge successes, she gets the idea of starting her own PR company and soliciting business at the reunion.

Unfortunately, but understandably, all of her classmates despise her. Even her sweet, long-suffering best friend Nicole finally dumps her on one of those former classmates when Lissy gets drunk at the reunion.

But thanks to that classmate, Lissy is able to relive a few weeks of her high school senior year, where she makes better decisions and manages to be a kinder, gentler version of her previous seventeen-year-old self. 

Waking up in the new present, she's pleased to find that everything has gone her way this time. She's rich, the owner of a highly successful PR company, and still happily married.

Of course, the butterfly effect being what it is, everything isn't as great as it seems at first...but I won't divulge anymore in case you decide to read it yourself, which I think you should just because it's so funny.

I did have a few issues with it:

• Lancaster implies that all Homecoming and Prom Queens are mean snobs. As a former Homecoming and Prom Queen, I disagree. (I hope my classmates do, too!) 
• She says (through Lissy) that having children makes you look old before your time. Obviously, I disagree with that, as well. 
• A few plot parts felt manipulated. My critique group would have torn those apart. 
• Other than Lissy and her mother, the dialogue and characters were indistinctive.
• Oh, and for some reason one character ends up bald after Lissy's trip back in time because in the new future he's in a bad marriage. Huh? 

But overall I enjoyed it. It kept me turning the pages to see what was going to happen next. I felt it was thought provoking, triggering a lot of what-ifs.

And, as I said, it was just funny! Lissy is telling the story and her running commentary is bold and hilarious. I laughed enough that I forgave Lancaster for assuming I must be a mean snob since I was voted Homecoming Queen.

If you get a chance to read it, I think you'll enjoy it. If nothing else, you'll give thanks your high school years are behind you.

What about you? Is there anything you would change if you could travel back in time?

P.S. This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are totally my own. Join the discussions on the book here.

 

Why I Love "The Hobbit"

 

 

He was five, snuggled up close beside me on the loveseat for our ritual bedtime story, sucking his thumb.

"Are you sure?" I asked him. "There aren't any pictures in this book. Just a lot of words."

He nodded, so I opened the worn paperback and began reading...

"In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit."

Every night I'd quiz him on what we had read the time before, worried he was too young to understand, but he always knew every answer and wanted to continue.  Middle Earth had come alive for him, so night after night, chapter by chapter, we journeyed through it together. 

It was my second, maybe third, visit. My brother had introduced me to Tolkien and his hobbits almost two decades earlier and I became obsessed, buying ceramic statues of Bilbo and Gandalf, pewter wizards, and tiny castles. I had dragon bookends and calendars depicting beautiful Middle Earth-inspired artwork. I embraced my nerdiness.

It was the artwork that hooked my young son. He wanted to learn more about that beautiful, adventurous world.

I traveled there again with my younger two, and many years later we watched the Lord of the Rings movies together. So when I heard about The Hobbit movie, I crossed my fingers they would all agree to see it with me, once again journeying together into Middle Earth.

And they did. This past Sunday evening, my Christmas wish came true.

 

 

But sitting in that theater I got much more than my Christmas wish. Watching the movie, I was reminded of why I became a Tolkien nerd so many years ago and still want to share it with my kids.

There's the obvious...the adventure, the magic, the intricate world he draws us into. His genius still amazes me.

There's the theme of good versus evil...with good victorious, of course. And the characters, who forge friendships by focusing on commonalities rather than differences, a great lesson for all of us.

There's Bilbo's story itself, how he ventures out of his comfort zone and discovers strengths he never knew he possessed. Now I can identify with Bilbo even more. Like me, he is middle-aged, settled, comfortable, and doesn't believe there is anything special about himself ... but he sets out on an adventure anyway.

He sticks with it even when others doubt him, determined to help the dwarves even though he doesn't really know them. Compassion is the key to his bravery and loyalty. As Gandalf says...

  “I found it is the small things, everyday deeds of ordinary folk, that keeps the darkness at bay. Simple acts of kindness and love.” 

When you boil it all down, the elves and the magic and the battles between good and evil, that single message is what you're left with. It's the reason I love The Hobbit, and why I wanted my kids to know it and love it, too. Because even the smallest of us, the seemingly least remarkable, is capable of kindness and love to one another. And I do believe that is the greatest power of all.

 

 

 

Daring Greatly

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

~ Theodore Roosevelt, "Citizenship in a Republic,"
Speech at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910

 

I had never heard of this speech of Teddy's before reading Dr. Brene Brown's book, Daring Greatly, but now it's one of my favorite quotes. 

The title fits because the book deals with learning to live life Wholeheartedly... being engaged with the world around us, feeling joy and contentment, realizing the value of at least stepping into "the arena". It's about being vulnerable.

It reminded me of Kahlil Gibran's poem, On Joy and Sorrow...

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight..."

Unless we "dare greatly" and risk failure, unless we continue to challenge ourselves, how will we ever experience true success? How will we grow? 

But it's about so much more than that. This is a tough book review to write because there is a lot to wade through in Daring Greatly... sex, marriage, parenting, leadership, shame, bullies...  

It's written for everyone - business leaders, politicians, teachers, parents, students... anyone who wants to lead effectively or live passionately and joyfully - and parts of it are a bit too academic for me. It would be a good book to take in small bites. But most of it is very personable, as if Brene (I feel we're on a first-name basis now) sat beside me, sharing her stories.

(I happened to catch her on Katie Couric's new talk show last week, so I even know what her voice sounds like.)

This isn't a textbook or a self-help book or a touchy-feely Chicken Soup for the Soul book... it's an inspirational, motivating eye-opener and I recommend it to each and every one of you, and not just because this is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club. The opinions are totally my own.

 

The Book of Jonas

 

"What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world." ~ Robert E. Lee

In The Book of Jonas, author Stephen Dau reminds us that the devastation of war goes beyond a battlefield littered with debris and dead bodies: it indelibly stamps everyone involved. 

Dau illustrates this mostly through the story of Jonas, whose childhood village was destroyed by American soldiers, but also weaves in the stories of Christopher, one of those soldiers, and Rose, Christopher's mother. Through these three perspectives, Dau makes us ponder what we believe about justice, guilt, innocence, right and wrong.

It's a quietly powerful book. A multilayered story with multi-dimensional, multi-faceted characters. Dau is great at introducing a character, making us feel one way about him or her, then moving the camera so we see them from a different angle, triggering a different reaction.   

For me The Book of Jonas is more than a story about war and its effects. It's a lesson in life and love, illustrating how rarely anything is exactly what it seems to be, either black or white. Even our memories don't tell the whole truth, limited as they are by a single viewpoint and tainted by other similar memories.

It's a reminder that none of us lives in a vacuum. Our lives can be dramatically changed because of one decision... sometimes our own but often someone else's. We also can't just ignore the traumatic events that leave their stamps on us, hoping they'll go away. If we do, we become their prisoners.

"The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keep out the joy." ~ Jim Rohr

This is Stephen Dau's first book. I'm eager to read his next.

This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Born Wicked (Book Review)

"Our mother was a witch, too, but she hid it better. I miss her."

That's how Born Wicked by Jessica Spotswood opens, and I was hooked right away. One of the best openings I've ever read! She says so much in so few words.

Unfortunately, the book went downhill from there for me. If I hadn't agreed to write this review for the BlogHer Book Club with the stipulation that I finish reading the book first, I probably would have stopped after the first few chapters. There are just too many other books languishing on my to-be-read list to spend time on one that I don't enjoy, unless I'm given the book and compensated for my time.

Born Wicked is the story of three sisters, all witches forced to hide their powers. It's told in the voice of the eldest, sixteen-year-old Cate, who is trying to protect her little sisters and deal with two love interests simultaneously.

Why didn't I care for the book? It's not the genre or the age level - I love the Harry Potter series. It's the writing.

The narration is intrusive at times, breaking up the flow of scenes. Cate drones on and on, giving us explanations and back story that often merely restate what we just learned through dialog or action, in case we didn't get it the first time. Blah, blah, blah, boring. Too often Spotswood resorts to "telling" instead of "showing."

I dream of having my own book published, but I sure hope no one would let it slip through if I committed the same mistakes. 

The story is set in Massachusetts in the 1880's , but not the Massachusetts or the 1880's we're familiar with. Spotswood created her own world history, where witches founded the colonies for religious freedom but are now arrested and sent away to institutions when their powers are discovered. It's a man's world for sure.

And Dubai is important for some reason - it's mentioned several times in the first few chapters.

I feel the multiple random mentions of Dubai and the alternate history distracted from the story rather than added to it. Perhaps creating a whole new world would be better.

The premise of the story is interesting, and, as I mentioned, the opening is great. There are several parts in the book that reveal Spotswood's gift for writing, but I think overall the book could have used more editing and checks for consistency in character and plot. I can't help thinking it was rushed through, perhaps in hopes of catching the Twilight fans before they drift away to something else.

It has a strong Facebook fan page, and most of the other reviews were positive, so obviously it appeals to some people. But you won't find me reading Book 2 of The Cahill Witch Chronicles.  

This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own, as you've probably figured out.

 

Love, Life, and The Fault in Our Stars

I hesitated signing up to review The Fault in Our Stars by John Green for the BlogHer Book Club. The blurb said it was about a teenager with terminal cancer, and quite honestly, I wasn't sure if I could handle another book about death and dying. It feels like that's all I've been writing about lately.

But I did sign up for it, because I've enjoyed all of the other books I've read in the BHBC. I trusted them that this one would be just as good.

Well, I'm so glad I did. Green's characters - Hazel, Augustus, Isaac - are so real and fresh and funny that I totally fell in love with them. I could hardly put the book down.

Green tells their story without letting it muddle into a melodramatic tearjerker. Oh, I cried plenty of tears - it's a book about kids dealing with cancer and facing death, after all - but mostly I laughed and cheered and rejoiced.

The characters came to life for me, more than any other characters I've ever gotten to know and love. They felt genuine, and I think I'm qualified to judge, having raised three teenagers of my own in recent history.

Where other teenagers dream of their future, Green's characters wonder if they'll have a future beyond the next year... week... month. They realize the importance of the "here and now" because they know that may be all they get. And it reminded me that none of us is guaranteed more than the "here and now".

So, even though the main characters are teenagers, this book isn't just for young adults. The story goes straight to your heart, making it ageless. 

It's also a love story more than a cancer story. Love doesn't know anything about cancer, or oxygen tanks, or prosthetic legs - it's a straight heart-to-heart connection. And when so much in your life is out of your hands, it's a relief to have some sense of control over even a small aspect.

As Augustus says, "You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world, old man, but you do have some say in who hurts you."

This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club, but the opinions are my own. I really do love, love, love this book and its characters. If you've ever loved, loved, loved a book, join the discussion, "Which Books Do You Love?", HERE.

Sky Blue, Sketches, and other Sweet!s (and Bittersweets) of the week

Sky Blue is my favorite crayon color of all time.

Today, God picked it to color the sky. I could imagine him sprawled on the floor of heaven, opening that big box of 96 (the one with the sharpener,) pulling out the Sky Blue, then, with side to side strokes, filling in the entire sky. 

For hours I lay under it on a folding lounge chair of the same color... even reading from a book with a Sky Blue color... wearing jean shorts, flip-flops, and a tank top the same shade of green as the new grass and fresh tree buds, my skin soaking up the sun like the dry winter ground soaks up the spring showers.

I rarely read for hours in a row like that and it felt so good to just lose myself in a story. It helped that I could call it "working"... it was the latest BlogHer Book Club book I'm going to review. I can't tell you the title yet, but I can tell you that I can hardly put the dang book down.

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Yesterday I came home from work to find a mysterious manila envelope on my desk. The name on the return address looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn't place it.

 Inside I found a heart-melting sketch of my Max puppy... 

It turns out my sweet sister commissioned a wonderfully talented friend of hers, Susan Bromlow, a high school classmate, to sketch this drawing from one of my photos of Max on my blog. Susan (as you can see) is a talented artist. Click HERE to view more of her work.

What a sweet surprise and precious treasure! Thank you so much, Brenda and Susan! 

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Here are a few other sweet moments from the past week....

Monday: a good report from your doctor; lunch with your husband who took the day off

Tuesday: paychecks in the mailbox; an hour on the phone with your oldest, just catching up; clearing out closets and giving things away; a new part time job, helping with the income you need to keep working on your book without finding a full time job

Wednesday: hearing, then seeing, two red-tailed hawks streaking through the Hollow; a golden sunset that fills the sky and stretches to the horizon

Thursday: a gorgeous blue Mexican Jay couple, straw in beaks, busy building a nest; a last-minute, long-overdue catch-up lunch with friends; meeting lifetime friends from out of town for a spur-of-the-moment dinner 

Friday: walking at sunrise; another paycheck in the mailbox; bees buzzing fragrant mountain laurel blooms; daffodils and redbuds; your son's face, up close and in person

Saturday: making an unhappy customer happy again; spending time with both sons plus your future daughter-in-law and her family; an amazing sketch of your puppy arriving in the mail box; a friend's support of your writing

Sunday: sleeping in; an afternoon spent reading in the sunshine

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Before I could publish this post, Tom's dad called to let us know Tom's Aunt Marg had passed away. Please pray for the repose of her soul and for her family. Hearing of her death isn't sweet, of course, but the memories of her in my heart sure are.

Soon after Tom and I were married, we traveled to Wisconsin to meet his dad's side of the family. Aunt Marg opened her home to us, hosting a corn roast and sharing tons of family photos and mementoes.

A few years later, she spent about a week with us. In turn for teaching me how to cross stitch (I became an addict for several years) we took her to Gilley's where she even rode the mechanical bull.

                                   

Summer before last we saw her again in Wisconsin at a family wedding. It had been several years since we'd last seen her... maybe a decade... but she hadn't changed a bit, still as feisty as ever.  She even got out on the dancefloor!

I'm so grateful TG was able to meet her - they really clicked - and for all the memories I have tucked in my heart. Please keep her family in your prayers.

Rest in peace, Aunt Marg. We love you!

The Rules of Inheritance: a journey through grief

 

 

It's somehow fitting that I've been reading Claire Bidwell Smith's The Rules of Inheritance for the past few weeks.

Last night I dove into the final chapters, my mind still swirling with sorrow and joy that lingered from a quick trip to Houston for my cousin's funeral. Sorrow for friends and family wrapped tight in grief for the recent loss of their loved ones, including a dear friend whose husband just died, and joy from time spent with my parents, sister, and cousins I rarely see. 

I arrived home just in time to attend Ash Wednesday services, where Father Don reminded us of our mortality, of the importance of not squandering the gift of life we've been given, but to find a way to give back. 

Through all of this, Smith's book was on my mind, because it deals with life and death and grief. Mostly her own grief. When Smith was fourteen, both of her parents were diagnosed with cancer. Her mother died when Smith was eighteen and then, just seven years later, she watched her father take his last breath.

Smith takes us along on her heart-wrenching and courageously candid journey, but as tragic as it is, underneath is an unspoken glimmer of hope that kept me turning the pages. I knew she survived this dark passage of her life... I could tell that she was writing it from a patch of light that gave her strength to venture back in, in order to share her story with us.

But I couldn't imagine how she did it. I wanted to know. I needed to know.

How do you face the grief without letting it swallow you? How do you continue when you've lost your "most important person"?

I've felt grief and loss. Two sisters-in-law. My oldest brother. All of my grandparents. Aunts, uncles, cousins. Close friends.

But my parents and my husband's parents are all still alive... still voices on the other end of the phone... still just a hop in the car and a few hours' drive away.  Except for my brother, we have all ten of our siblings. All of our children.

Mostly, we still have each other.

But life is so fragile. In little over a year, six of my friends have become widows. Several of my classmates from high school, former co-workers, and now my cousin have died in the past year as well, while others have lost their parents. 

Smith was young when she lost her parents, but is there ever an age when you're prepared for that void in your life?

I feel blessed. Grateful. And lucky. But I also feel a twinge of guilt that makes me stumble over the right words. Smith says "If you haven't been through a major loss, then the truth is that you just don't know what to say to someone who has." 

She talks about the friends that gathered around her in her father's last days. Just their physical presence, their touch, helped her get through it. I remember how much it meant to me when I looked up at my brother's funeral and spotted my girlfriends.

Even if I don't know what to say, I'll try harder to be physically present.

I also won't pass judgement. I won't tell anyone it's time to get on with their lives, but will try to just listen. "Our grief is as individual as our lives," Smith says. 

Simone Weil said "All sins are attempts to fill voids."

Smith's reactions to her parents' illnesses and deaths certainly proves this to be true. She relates with raw honesty her futile attempts to fill the void. I'm amazed she not only survived, but managed to settle her father's estate, get her degree, and hold jobs while traveling the dark and gritty path of her teens and twenties.

I recommend this book to anyone who is actively grieving, but also to anyone who has struggled with depression, loneliness, bad relationships, trying to find the right path, or just trying to figure out who they really are. They'lll be able to identify with her story, too, whether or not they've suffered loss such as hers.

It's not until years later that Smith allows her grief to bubble to the surface or is able to recognize Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's five stages of grief in her dark journey.

Now a grief counselor, Smith used the stages of grief as the framework for her memoir. It isn't a linear story, but jumps from one episode in her life to another, back and forth, but told in the present tense, allowing us to experience the moment through her eyes. 

Some of the episodes are repeated with slight differences; I didn't understand this until near the last chapter when she explains the stages are just a frame to work with. "You may never experience all of them. You may go through them out of order or sometimes find yourself in more than one of them at the same time." 

Life and death go hand in hand. Personal loss is waiting for each of us around one of the corners, just ahead. I believe reading Smith's book will help anyone prepare for the inevitable grief that comes with life... and to believe that it's possible to eventually get to the other side of grief and continue on.

At the end of the book, Smith describes walking in on her husband and young daughter having a tea party. She wants to freeze that moment, but knows she can't. She knows time will pass, along with many others, that they'll all grow old and die. 

But her father's words, spoken shortly before his last breath, resonate through her words. I know she believes them and I do, too:

"Life is worth living."

 

 

 

 

This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are totally my own.

 

 

 

What Electrifies You?

Author Gayle Brandeis posed that question on SheWrites last month. “What electrifies you? What gets your heart pumping? What takes your breath away? What makes the hair on your arms stand up on end?”

I answered...

Dancing, which I do as often as possible, even to the extent that I missed talking to a lot of people at my high school reunion because I couldn't leave the dance floor. Also playing my drums. I'm not any good. It will never make me any money so no matter how hard I try I can't justify the time I spend on them, but I play anyway, because playing them makes me feel alive. (But only when no one's around. Unless I've had a few drinks.)

And guess what? My answer was the Grand Prize Winner! What a sweet surprise when I saw my name in a SheWrites newsletter yesterday, especially since I had totally forgotten about it. I won a copy of Brandeis' The Book of Live Wires, along with a copy of her Bellwether-Prize winning novel, The Book of Dead Birds.

Yay! Books electrify me, too! (Also winning Grand Prizes and getting things for free!)

Something else that electrifies me is seeing my friends follow their dreams... and trying to help them along the way. Here are a couple who inspire me...

 

Walking the Walk

When I first met Jimmie Jackson, he was a tow-headed golf-loving teenager, rarely speaking up in the Confirmation class I taught. Now he's all grown up with a degree in Electronic Media, living in Nashville, and preparing for the experience of a lifetime: a solo 2,178 mile long journey along the Appalachian Trail, from Georgia to Maine.

Only Jimmie isn't just walking it... he's going to film a documentary as he goes, focusing on the spiritual aspect of the walk as much as the physical. "Why do people hike? What is the connection between being outdoors and leading a spiritual life?" He hopes to find the answers to those questions along the way.

Go to his website, Walking the Walk.org to find out more, and please consider making a small donation to help him see this dream come true. He really is a sweet kid (and I'm not just saying that because I was his Confirmation teacher!)

 photo from WalkingtheWalk.org

 

Indie Friendlie 

Indie Friendlie is my friend Byron Tully's 'baby'. With his beautiful wife, Darlene, and friend, Weathorford Bradley, he created this site to support and promote great filmmakers and great films, the ones without huge advertising budgets, the ones that get stomped on by the bullies with huge marketing campaigns, the ones left shivering in the cold outside of the theaters.

If you love independent film of any kind, go to the site and watch the clips from wonderful movies, documentaries and shorts they're spotlighting in their effort to give them "a voice, a face, an opportunity."

I've only watched one or two, but they were great. "Validation", a full length short, just made me smile and "The Inside Out Project" made me want to stand up, cheer and grab my camera.

Also, if you're a filmmaker, you can submit your own film to be showcased on Indie Friendlie. Click HERE for how-to's and guidelines.

Tully's a sweet kid, too, although I guess "kid" is a bit of a stretch since we went to high school together. He's also very, very funny.

(Full disclosure: Tully promised me one free margarita for every 1000 visitors his site receives from mine. So what are you waiting for? GO! And tell your friends to tell their friends!)

Oh, wait, before you go... What electrifies you? Share in the comments below...

 

Take It One Bird at a Time (and a week's worth of Sweet!s)

Right after work this evening, I drove straight to a stranger's house. Seven of us sat around a dining room table, munching on queso, chips and gluten-free brownies, discussing our 'babies' - the collection of words we've poured our hearts into for longer than we want to remember.

Our babies range from picture book to young adult, all in their last drafts, but we each have the same goal: to get PUBLISHED. Tonight we vowed to help each other achieve that goal to the best of our critical ability, with honesty, bi-weekly meetings, and a maximum of five pages every two weeks submitted for critique to one another.

Five pages at a time. Five pages is nothing, and yet five plus five plus five, etc., eventually equals a whole book.

A whole book is overwhelming, but five pages is nothing. I can focus on five pages.

In Ann LaMott's book Bird by Bird, she says that's the advice her father gave her brother when he had procrastinated on a huge project and the idea overhwhelmed him. "Just take it bird by bird", he told him.

Bird by bird. Page by page. Piece by piece. Day by day. Minute by minute.

Good advice for writing.

Better advice for life.

And now for more sweet moments of my week...

Sunday: an unexpected, extra evening with your daughter before she heads back to college, spent watching "Willow"

Monday: a room full of twenty-something girls, welcoming your daughter back to campus; getting $7 for a box of old VHS movies; chilling on the porch with your husband, neighbor, a gang of dogs and a glass of wine

Tuesday: a morning call from your daughter on her way to her first class; a call from your oldest, just checking in

Wednesday: a respite from your cedar fever; an 'in-person' hug from your daughter; serendipity striking again, placing you next to a sweet, helpful, supportive new business contact at a meeting; winning the doorprize (a beautiful silver necklace!); another of your blog posts featured on Pioneer Woman's sidebar

Thursday: morning sunlight on the hills; playing the drums after a long silence; a ray of hope in what you thought was a hopeless situation 

Friday: a prompt response from a Help Forum; sunshine and 70 degree temps in the middle of winter; your husband's French Toast

Saturday: blueberry cobbler and vanilla ice cream; putting your feet up and watching a movie with your sweetie after a long day

Sunday: a morning serenade, courtesy of the birds, frogs and running creek; a hug from a friend; happy customers; homemade flat bread pizza; clicking with your writing critique group; a wiggly puppy welcoming you home

Please share some of the sweet moments from your week! I really want to know!

And don't forget... if you're facing something that totally overwhelms you, just take it bird by bird...

Love at First Bark

I start almost every morning with a walk down my dirt road with Belle and Max. Their joie de vivre is palpable. Contagious.

I'm addicted to these walks, to watching my "puppies" greet each new day with passion and energy and optimism. 

Max and Belle were both strays who wandered up to strange houses with a dog's pure faith they would be helped. At the time each of them entered our lives, I didn't think I wanted any more dogs. Too expensive, too constraining of our time, too much heartbreak when they die.

Now I give thanks every morning and several times during the day - well, anytime I look into those big brown eyes - that God brought these little black and brown angels into our lives. He knew just what we needed.

He always does. And Max and Belle remind me of that every day.

 

When I was young, the sight of a stray dog broke my heart. Molded by stories like "Black Beauty", "Old Yeller" and "Call of the Wild", where animals struggle to find a good home,  I dreamed that when I grew up, I'd own a ranch where I could take in every stray I found.

Well, I grew up. The cost for housing, food and medical issues alone for that dream to come true snapped me back to reality. It didn't help that I'm allergic to animals. I'd need a fortune just to buy all that Benadryl.

So you can see why I jumped at the chance to review ("read for free") Julie Klam's book Love at First Bark, for the BlogHer Book Club, especially when the subtitle read "How Saving a Dog Can Sometimes Help You Save Yourself".

I know how true that statement is, that dogs can help you save yourself...

Max came along just when my oldest headed off to college and the other two were close on his heels. Did you know that a goofy German Shepherd-Great Dane puppy is very similar to a 4-year-old? Max became my perpetual 4-year-old and eagerly accepted all the baby talk and (s)mothering attention my human kids had outgrown, making my transition to Empty Nest so much easier. 

Belle came along just in time to save Max, who was despondent after our old dog Charly's death. She revived the "puppy" in him. (Saving Max = saving me. Thank you, Belle!)

However, except for the first chapter where Julie describes how helping an abandoned pit bull essentially saved her marriage, the rest of the book just relates different dog rescues. It's a good book, peppered with Julie's humor, but it didn't grab me the way I thought it would. It felt passive and inconsistent, sort of rushed. 

What keeps it a "good" book in my opinion, and why I believe it's worth reading, is the well-deserved recognition it gives to unsung heroes around the country who are essentially living my dream of helping stray dogs, either through rescues or by adoption or foster care.

Before reading this, I didn't have a clue there were so many organizations (all understaffed and underfunded, of course) and individuals who go miles out of their way to help. Hearing the lengths they go to just to rescue one dog is inspiring. Kudos to Julie and all of the others who do this regularly, who think nothing of adding an incontinent dog to their already large collection of pooches or run through a swamp and duck under a train to help a stray with a jar stuck on its head.

So if you want information about dog rescues or rescuers, I recommend it. But if you're hoping for heartwarming, life-changing stories that send you scrambling for a box of tissue, look somewhere else... after you read the first chapter about Morris the Pit Bull, that is.

Full Disclosure: I was compensated for this BlogHer Book Club review but all opinions expressed are my own.

How to Be an American Housewife

No, I'm not trying to give anyone advice here! (Those who know me would laugh! Especially Tom!)

How to Be an American Housewife by Margaret Dilloway is the latest selection for the BlogHer Book Club. It's a story about forgiveness, perserverence, understanding, examining your life and following your dreams.

All the things I love to write about!

Dilloway draws on her own family history to weave this tale of Shoko, a Japanese War Bride who comes to America with her Navy man husband, Charlie, after World War II, hoping for a new life but facing prejudice and ostracism. Her husband gives her a book, more of a manual, I guess, to help her adjust - How to Be an American Housewife.

The story begins in Shoko's 60-something voice describing her yearning to return to Japan to see her brother, Taro, who disowned her for marrying an American. She takes us back to their childhood; shares with us her dreams, goals and heartbreaks; explains how she met Charlie and the challenges she faced in America. She's in ill health, suffering for years from a weak heart, possibly caused by radiation, and now faces a life-threatening surgery.

Shoko has dreamed of returning to Japan someday, but life continually intervened. First, she couldn't afford it. And then, when she manages to stash away enough money, her heart isn't strong enough to make the trip. But she's determined to make contact with Taro, and turns to her daughter, Sue, to travel to Japan in her place.

This is where Sue takes up the story. 

Sue and Shoko have never had a close relationship, but she is still concerned for her mother and sees how important it is to her to make amends with Taro before she dies. She agrees to make the trip, along with her teenage daughter, Helena. While in Japan, Sue is not only able to understand her mother better, but her own dreams are reawakened.

Although Shoko wanted to be a good mother, she fell short at times due to her health, her age, cultural differences and her own strong personality. But this trip is exactly what Sue needs and by giving it to her, I feel any mistakes Shoko made along the way are redeemed.

As a mother, I can identify with both Shoko and Sue, wanting to be the best I can be but knowing I fall short too often. Like them, I also have dreams I still hope come true; I liked the message this gave of never giving up on them, that there's no expiration date on dreams.

This isn't just a mother-daughter story, though. Dilloway provides a little something for everyone. I'm a history buff and enjoyed hearing about life in Japan during World War II.  I also love a good love story and this one didn't disappoint me in that category, either.

So I suggest you read it, and if you do, let me know what you thought about it!

(To learn more about the book and the author, and to join in further conversations on BlogHer, click here. Oh, and I was compensated for this BlogHer Book Club review but all opinions expressed are my own.)

Slow Love

The last two chapters of Dominique Browning's memoir Slow Love prove she's a talented writer. They're poetic, original, descriptive, wistful and hopeful. A true joy to read. 

However, if I hadn't promised to finish reading her memoir before writing this review for the BlogHer Book Club, I would have tossed it aside after the first few chapters because of unnecessary details, a confusing timeline, and my own pure frustration. 

Editor-in-chief of House & Garden magazine when it folded in 2007, Browning was also mired in a longterm relationship with a legally-separated man who refused to leave his wife. Despite the explanations and excuses Browning offers, I couldn't understand how someone her age at her level of success didn't wave goodbye to him long before.

Slow Love describes her depression and journey back to the surface, but as much as I wanted to, I had a tough time finding sympathy for her. For one thing, losing her job didn't throw her into the financial crisis it would so many others. She was very fortunate.

But perhaps I couldn't identify with her because I've been in a constant state of employment transition for more than thirty years and never based my self-worth on any of my jobs.  Perhaps it's because I learned decades ago that a woman doesn't need a man to be "complete", that you can't change people or depend on them for your happiness.

Perhaps I'm the fortunate one, after all.

Just counting a few of my blessings... (my Friday Favorite Photos)

 

1. Rain on my windshield! Before heading to Houston yesterday, I swung downtown to drop some things off for TG on campus, and I heard an unusual sound... raindrops on my car! And then it actually rained on me all the way to Smithville or LaGrange. It wasn't enough to wash the dust from my car, but I'm grateful even for this small amount. Tom says a little even fell at our house, hallelujah! At least we know it remembers where we live!

2. My parents back at home; specifically, Daddy out of the hospital. Nothing more to add. That's enough!

3. Being able to catch a photo of my great-niece Haila smiling. I love this one of her and her daddy, Evan, my brother's son. They were in Houston visiting from Wyoming and I'm so glad I was able to run down to see them. I've been told Haila never fusses, but just before I arrived, she woke from a bad dream and cried and cried a good part of the time I was there. When she wasn't crying, she was on the move. This is a miracle capture!

4. My sister Brenda can walk without her cane! Just a few steps and she keeps it handy, but still, that's a major accomplishment and a beautiful sight to see. I haven't seen her since her hip surgery 5 months ago - how can that be possible? To say she looks much better would be an understatement!

I returned this evening from a quick trip to my hometown to attend my friend's husband's funeral. As you can see from these photos, I packed a lot into 24 hours... long overdue visits with my parents and siblings plus hugs (and tears) with my lifetime friends at the viewing and funeral.

I wish I'd had more time, but I'm just grateful I was able to sneak down there at all. I have to work tomorrow.

I'm hoping to fit another trip in soon for a second interview with my parents and to gather with the other Deer Park Divas around our friend. She's doing great now, but we all know the next few months are going to be tough.

This next week I'm focusing on getting organized - I have no deadlines to make me crazy although another book is in the mail for the next BlogHer Book Club review. I'm looking forward to it, though. These book reviews have kept me reading all summer.

The last one I read was Faithful Place, by Tana French - a wonderful love story/murder mystery with the kind of writing that makes me want to go revise everything I've ever written! You can read the full review HERE on BlogHer.

I have several friends and quite a bit of family over there on the East Coast and even though I've been on the road, I know there's a hurricane headed their way, so I'll be praying it's a dud like the one aimed at us a few weeks ago! And if not quite a dud, that its damage is minimal. Stay safe, all of you!

 

 

 

Where did the week go? Heck, where did the years go? (plus my Saturday Sweet Report)

I totally lost track of this week. Until this weekend, nothing extraordinary happened, but even so, it felt crazy and I was exhausted without knowing exactly why!

Our empty nest isn't so empty right now - TG is still home for the summer, along with the contents of her dorm room, currently in Transition-Limbo, tucked into random places. And as of this past Saturday, Daniel and the stuff from his apartment are back home in Transition-Limbo, as well.

Tom helped move him home then they both took off for several days of sun and fishing on the coast, leaving a maze of boxes and stuffed trash bags full of household items and clothes overflowing from Daniel's room.

While they were gone I had to cover for Tom, which meant making sure TG and I had something to eat and pulling the evening puppy duty as well as the morning one. Okay, it doesn't sound like much, but it felt like a lot and I was pooped. 

They rolled back in Thursday night, just in time to unpack, re-pack and head to Dallas (all of us) for a wedding.

See that cute chubby-cheeked boy in red below?

That's Quentin, one of Tommy's friends. They went through Boy Scouts together and helped each other earn their Eagle Scout ranks. Along with his dad and brothers, Quentin helped us build our house.

Somehow, he's old enough to get married now. How did that happen?

The photo above was taken at Tommy's 12th birthday party, when all it took to entertain those boys was pizza, video games, movies, boxing gloves and some kind of rowdy wrestling game that, if I remember correctly, involved jumping from trees and forced me to come inside before I started screaming "Be careful!" and embarrassing my children.

Ah, boys. Those were the days.

In just a blink or two from when this photo was snapped, Quentin graduated salutatorian from high school, graduated with a degree in Aerospace Engineering from Texas A&M and then decided to teach high school math and science. A pretty good decision because that's where he met Kristen, the high school Spanish teacher who is now his wife.

Funny how we somehow get to where we need to be, even though the path seems to zig-zag a bit.

These days, I believe Quentin finds Kristen much more entertaining than pizza and video games.

It was fun seeing those kids, all grown up. A bonus to the trip was having all of my kids together. TG and Daniel stayed at Tommy's house, while Tom and I snuck away to our very own hotel room - all by ourselves! It was kind of an early anniversary celebration - next week will be 29 years.

Talk about time passing in a blink of the eye!

This morning we enjoyed a wonderful Mexican food breakfast all together before zooming back home, where I changed clothes and headed to work for the First Saturday Dinner at the Bistro. Each month the Three Course Wine Lunch menu changes and they feature some of the new items at this special night event. Getting to see - and taste - some of the new items... definitely sweet!

Here are some other sweets from the week...

Sunday: seeing your son and husband heading off for a few days of coastal adventure; watching a movie with your daughter instead of tackling your to-do list.

Monday: a surprise call from a dear friend; a text from your son letting you know they made it to the coast okay; hearing that your sister is feeling better after being very sick... again.

Tuesday: finally making the decision to buy a lens you've been wanting and getting a surprise discount on it; a glorious blue and orange striped sunset.

Wednesday: a glimpse of a mama quail, babies parading behind her, making it safely across a busy road; trio of baby deer finally out in the sunshine where you could snap their photo.

Thursday: pink mornings; your husband and son straggling in safe and only slightly burnt from days of fun at the coast.

Friday: witnessing a wedding, being reminded of love that lasts a lifetime; catching up with long-time friends; dancing.

Saturday: sharing breakfast with your husband and all of your babies; arriving home safely from a road trip; a new book to review waiting for you in the mailbox; Banana Crumble with a glass of Mistella; moonlight on a vineyard.

Hope you took time to notice the sweet moments in your week!

 

 

 

"The End" of an Era (and my Friday Favorite Photo)

This is the book that was the beginning of the end.

Each evening for years and years, Daniel, TG and I would huddle around a book on the couch, taking the adventure together, a chapter at a time. I would read out loud, relishing the warmth of my two little ones cuddled up against me.  

Tommy had broken away on his own when he discovered the Goosebumps series in 3rd grade, devouring them one after another as fast as he could. Speed is addictive: he couldn't slow back down to our pace, savoring bites of the story, a little every day.

TG, Daniel and I were usually each reading something else as well on our own. But every night we'd come together for a special book. We'd take turns choosing it. This is when I introduced them to the Lord of the Rings, Call of the Wild, Black Beauty, Tarzan, Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle, the Wizard of Oz series... 

And then Daniel won a drawing in the school book fair. He got to pick any book he wanted, up to $15 value. We hadn't heard of the one above, but it looked promising. It had a cute cover, interesting-enough story line, and the kid on the front even looked a little like Daniel to me.

I didn't expect much from it, but I hadn't gotten through the first chapter before I felt jealous of the writing. The kids were irritated when I would stop reading in the middle of a critical scene to comment on some gem of a phrase or description. 

That, plus they didn't want to wait 24 hours to know what happened next. It was mutiny on the couch. What could I do?

They drew straws to see who got to read it first. Within a couple of days all three kids had finished it and I finally got my turn. I'm sure I was through it within a day or two, also.

There was no going back after that. We tried to rendezvous over a book a few more times, but they'd had their taste of independence: our Reading Hour fizzled to an end.

All because of Harry Potter.

With each new HP book, the scenario repeated itself... drawing straws, all-night reading sessions, keeping your lips sealed until everyone had read the book. (You could hear the sigh of relief after I closed the book - I was always last.)

Meanwhile, my kids grew and grew and grew. HP movies were made and we'd dutifully buy our tickets and watch them, but we were never satisfied. Admittedly, I always enjoyed them because I've never been able to remember details of books as well as my kids - they're harsh critics, let me tell you! I raised a fine litter of critical reader-geeks!

With that in mind, we didn't rush to be the first in line to see the final HP movie. It was one excuse, at least. Can you guess my other excuse? I hated to say goodbye. 

Yes, the book was finished long ago. I shed my tears back then, said goodbye to the characters, but I knew this movie was really the final goodbye to that era - an era of faces buried deep into books and kids who were shorter than me... of long summer days full of discussions about plot and character, good and evil. 

But I couldn't resist any longer - today I sat with my two twenty-something-year-old kids who'd known Harry and company half their lives... who'd grown up with Harry and Hermione and Ron... munching tons of popcorn and Milk Duds, reliving the last decade while watching the end unfold before me... the end of an era.

(Guess what we did after the movie? Dropped into Half-Price Books, of course!)

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And now, my Friday Favorite Photo, totally unrelated to Harry Potter. My crape myrtle is getting closer and closer to blossoming... I feared it had changed its mind due to lack of rain, but then I noticed this bud... I think it's going to make it!

 Hope you had a wonderful, magical Friday!

 

 

 

Makin' a list and checkin' it twice...

List-mode -noun  A state of being wherein a moderately organized compulsive listmaker falls behind on things she needs to do, usually due to a weekend out of town with her girlfriends, and can't help but make more lists in a feeble attempt to get caught up without forgetting something important.

 

1. Sigh.

2. The weekend was totally worth it, though. Just hanging out with my girlfriends around the pool, sipping margaritas and talking, talking, talking would have made my current harried frenzy worth it, but my weekend journey had some other high spots in it as well.

3. If you're a blogger or on Facebook or FlickR or Twitter or some other social media I've never heard of, you've probably made lots of friends that, chances are, you'll never meet in person. Well, this weekend I got to meet one of those previously "virtual" friends, Debbie, who I connected with a few months ago on FlickR. On my way into Houston Friday, she met me for lunch.

4. It is so cool to see a person you've only known through words or photos sitting right there in front of you, face to face. We had a wonderful visit, but, of course, it was too short. 

5. We'll have to do it again, Debbie!!

6. My Diva weekend will get its own post (eventually!) but I want to mention one thing about it now because I think it's such a great idea.

7. We celebrated Leslie's birthday on Saturday, but instead of presents, she requested bags of dog and cat food that she could donate to an animal shelter. Isn't that a great idea?

8. You rock, Leslie!! 

9. (Here she is between her goddaughter, Georgie, and our sweet animal-loving hostess Rae, who took the food to her local shelter.)

 

10. Sunday I spent several hours with my parents before heading home, and for close to four of those hours I listened to - and recorded - my parents' stories and memories.

11. I'm convinced there's no better heirloom or legacy, and can't wait to go back to capture more of that treasure. 

12. Doesn't Daddy look cute in his suspenders? 

13. Do you remember me telling you I'm part of the BlogHer Book Club? Well, my latest book review was published today on BlogHer, about Sarah Dessen's What Happened to Goodbye? Click HERE to read my full review.  

14. Guess what? I'm a finalist in Jillsy Girl's June Water Challenge! Voting continues until June 29th so go HERE to vote! (Don't feel you have to vote for me - click on each of the entries and pick whichever one you like.)

15. Some people truly amaze me, and Gina Calvert is one of those people, constantly spreading herself thin to help someone else. Her latest venture is for Girls on the Run, a non-profit prevention program that helps preteen girls develop self-respect and health lifestyles through running.

16. Gina, who isn't a runner yet, plans to run a 5K in just a few months to raise money for the program. (I should mention at this point that Gina is 51!)

17.Please click HERE to read more about Girls on the Run. (Even if you don't think you can or will donate, you should read Gina's post about it. She's a wonderful writer!) 

18. Whew! I think that's enough for tonight...

19. Thank you.

Rambling on a Monday in May

Before I was fully awake this morning, I started the coffee brewing and switched on the television.

Up popped the devastation in Joplin, Missouri - that hospital with blown windows surrounded by mangled vehicles, toothpick trees and piles of rubbish ... the videos, the woman's voice praying "Help us, Jesus..."

After saying a prayer for all of those affected, I vowed never to complain about the weather here again.  

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 May is almost over and I'm feeling paranoid. 

The past two Mays have given me belated birthday presents that I wouldn't re-gift to my worst enemy.

For my 50th birthday, May gave me a case of shingles which came with an MRI because of the headaches that heralded its arrival and steroid drops for my eyes so I wouldn't go blind.

Last year I guess May felt it had to top the previous one. First, it gave me the worst urinary tract infection of my life. (It was actually only my second ever, but the first one, thirty years ago, was so bad I took every precaution to avoid another.)

I thought that was it (thank you so much!), but then just a week or so later my heart went crazy, pounding and racing so hard and fast that it woke me up. I thought it was going to fly out of my chest! Follow up tests concluded it was  SVT, or Supraventricular Tachycardia, basically an electrical short circuit in my heart that causes it to pound and race. 

I haven't had another episode, or any other health scares, but then, May isn't over yet, is it? I'm just hoping this "Welcome to your 50's" initiation phase is over.

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My book review for A Jane Austen Education went live on BlogHer this evening (along with several others, if you want more than one opinion!)

I've been thinking about the book again today, mostly thinking it's a shame Jane Austen isn't required reading for everyone. Some people learn the lessons about life on their own that William Deresiewicz, the author, learned from the books, but I know quite a few people who have never learned them, such as the one he learned from Pride and Prejudice: we aren't born perfect and there are some lessons we have to learn on our own in order to grow. We can't learn them from other people. We have to experience our own failure.

I know this was certainly true for me when I was young (and maybe it's still true!). I wish it hadn't been - I wish I'd had the sense to take the advice of those older and more experienced than I was. I hope I have a teeny bit of that sense myself now.

Which reminds me... I saw a blurb on the news today that some state is considering holding parents responsible when their child gets a bad grade. Huh? Maybe I heard it wrong, but if it's true, don't they realize they're just giving parents more reason to do their kids' work for them or encourage them to cheat or that we'd be keeping kids from learning life lessons they need later on? Don't they realize no one is born perfect and everyone has a different path to follow? A different time line?

Where are these people coming from?  Why do some people think their way is the only way? 

Oops. Sorry.

Anyway, click HERE to read my review on BlogHer... and go read some Jane Austen!

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 As far as Mondays go, this hasn't been a great one. Okay, it truly sucked in places (and I don't use that 's' word lightly.)

But I'm still keeping my eyes open for those Sweet! moments and keeping my feet moving forward, even though I don't know what's ahead of me.

These quotes help, so I'm going to add them here in case one of you needs a little 'faith reminder'. (I need them a lot - that's why I collect these quotes!)

"Suppose you plant a garden, and after a few days, you don't see results. Do you dig it up again? No, because you know that a lot of things are going on that you can't see. It's the same with God."

~ Charles Stanley, American Baptist preacher

"Patience with others is love, patience with self is hope, patience with God is faith." 

~ADEL BESTAVROS Egyptian deacon and lawyer

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."

~Proverbs 3:5-6

 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

~Jeremiah 29:11

"God often closes a door before opening a new one. Between those doors, don't worry. Wait, worship and watch! It's a test of faith. Colossians 4:3"

- Rick Warren

"Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted, in spite of your changing moods."

~C.S. Lewis

 "Hope is wishing for something to come true. Faith is belief that it will come true. Believe that for every problem God gives you, He will also provide you with a solution."

Anyone know who said that? I love it!

But this is my favorite, and the one that truly keeps me going...

Everything works out in the end. If it hasn't worked out yet, it's not the end.

~Author Unknown

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And for me, this is proof of that nugget of truth... the path might be tough, but if you keep going, you just might get fireworks in your honor! (The last of my graduation photos, I promise. Here, anyway. I'll post the rest on "Confessions".) 

 

Craig's List ... Sweet! #3 (and my Friday Favorite Photo)

Finding just what you've been looking for at a price you can afford on Craig's List.

Tom must have realized I was never going to give up on my dream of a library.

I'm sure he was just as tired of seeing dozens of boxes of books lining the downstairs walls as I was frustrated that all my books were still in boxes.

I think he also realized he would never have the time or money to build custom shelves from scratch, as he had planned. 

Guess what he found on Craig's List this week?

It's just a start, but oh, isn't it a lovely start?

Eventually they'll go all the way to the ceiling and perhaps be painted white (they're all different types of wood), and if we can figure out how, I'd like to turn two stained glass windows we've had stored for ages into cabinet doors. 

But even just as it is, I'm in book-lover heaven.

Finding just what you've been looking for at a price you can afford on Craig's List.

Sweet!

What treasures have you found on Craig's List, or at garage sales, or flea markets... ?

Thank you, BlogHer!

I think I've mentioned this before - I'm a book addict. I have boxes and boxes of books stacked in the boys' rooms downstairs, waiting for the library Tom has promised me  (and promised me... and promised me...)

(Okay, in his defense, he built this whole house ... even finished out my closet while he barely has a rod to hang his shirts on, so I understand a proper home for my beloved books isn't high on the priority list. Really I do. Sigh.) 

Anyway, back to my addiction...

Books fill windowsills and mismatched bookshelves that are scattered around the house. Books are stacked on tables, fill cabinets... you get the picture. I just can't throw a book away or resist "adopting" a homeless one (for the right price, anyway.)

But I think I've also already mentioned that I don't take time to read anymore - not books, anyway. Not often. I have good intentions and dream of reading all of the books I adopt, but the reality is they sit waiting, neglected, while I spend my hours trying to make money and chase the dreams I've put off for so long.

I miss reading a good book. There's nothing like it, getting sucked into the pages, caught up in the lives of the characters, becoming oblivious to everything around you, laughing, crying, getting mad.

Growing up I spent hours reading, and when the kids were younger we shared dozens of books over the years, 30 minutes at a time, every single night. When they got older, summers would find me next to the pool with a book in my hand while they splashed around with their friends.

Now they're grown up and I'm too busy trying to make money.

And that's why I'm so grateful to BlogHer - they started a Book Club and asked for reviewers. Immediately, I raised my hand. Not only would I be sent a book (for free!) but I'd be paid to read and write a review. Not much, mind you, but any little bit was enough justification to me.

The first book I read for the Book Club, Caleb's Crossing by Geraldine Brooks, is a historical fiction, a genre I love, but it's been awhile since I read one I enjoyed this much. It was tough to put it down! It's about the first Native American to attend Harvard, although for me it was more of a coming-of-age story about a young girl named Bethia who befriends him.

If you're interested, click HERE to read my review and others on BlogHer. (But if you decide to buy it, please come back here and click on my link!)

Now (thanks to BlogHer) I'm reading a memoir - A Jane Austen Education, by William Deresiewicz. After my adventure with Caleb's Crossing, I was tempted to jump into another novel, but this one called to me for some reason, and I'm glad I picked it. Stay tuned for my review later this month.

Besides giving me an excuse to read, BlogHer also recently gave me a chance to try some new dog food (well, for Belle to try some new dog food) and to give readers a chance to win a $100 Visa gift card.  I won't give any of the details away here, though ... if you're interested, click HERE to read my review on Purina Pro Plan Selects and see how to win.

Okay, I'll tell you this much - all you have to do is leave a comment on my review blog (not here) to be entered to win. (Although I love reading your comments, here, too!)

You'll also get to read a little about me and my dogs and see some cute pictures of them. And also find out how to increase your chances of winning!

Good luck, and I hope you're having a great week!

Why I Blog

I talk to high school students every year who are preparing to take the AP exams or write college entrance essays. I tell them "Make every word count. Read back over what you've written and if there's an adverb, yank it out and use a better verb. If you see "is", yank it out and use a better verb."  When word count matters, I point out the advantages of semicolons over 'and' and 'but'. Other good tips: vary sentence length and formation; avoid repetition of specific words (these jump out at you if you read your work out loud.)

Now after spouting all of that, I admit my blog doesn't always reflect what I preach. I've written essays and newspaper articles; my blog is neither. It's the dumping ground for my thoughts. A practice arena before the Big Game, the book I'm writing. Sometimes my post just pours out of me, similar to the stream-of-consciousness morning pages Julia Cameron recommends in An Artist's Way. 

More often, it's a conversation with friends. A sharing of something I learned or read, or a memory. Sometimes a confession. It replaces the journal I kept for decades, the letters and photographs I used to send to friends and family, and even the hours I used to spend on the phone with loved ones. It's where I clear the jumping beans from my brain so I can get down to the business of my book, much like sorting the junk mail from the bills that need to be paid on my desk. 

It's not that I don't care about what I write here. I do, or I wouldn't bother. I pour my heart into my blog. It's a therapeutic obsession.

But my blog is a daily journey, a river constantly flowing, never a destination. I don't have time to dwell in one spot  - it's always pulling me farther downstream,  with yesterday's post fading into memory. 

But that's just me. And that's the beauty of blogs - there's not a one-size-fits-all voice or style. 

(I should mention this post began as a comment to a post on BlogHer on writing with authority. As usual, I got carried away ...)