Long Hollow

You know you're over 50 when ...

... you find the paperwork for your scheduled colonoscopy mixed in with the birthday cards in your mailbox.

Oh, man ... I really, really dread that test. Well, not so much the test itself as the "preparation" for the test. But I can't very well spout off about eating healthy and exercising if I don't take care of other necessary evils, like the Big C, can I? Although I did manage to procrastinate on it all year.

Other than being forced to think about that, I've had a wonderful birthday ... also despite having to work when I had my mind all set for a day off. To appease myself, I went in late (I took time to walk the critters, finish my blog, work out and play my drums first) and left early (no reason except it was my birthday!) Before heading home, I drove to a nearby church and took pictures of the bluebonnets. No need to buy me flowers for my birthday - nature provides abundant bouquets everywhere I look!

Thanks to others, the rest of my day felt like a celebration: all of the happy birthday phone calls, emails and Facebook messages reminded me how blessed I am to know the people I know ... my bosses served me a slice of chocolate pie topped with a question mark candle and sang "Happy Birthday" to me ... Tom and I stuffed ourselves on Mexican food and margaritas ... we made it home in time for LOST and a great "what the heck is going on" Facebook discussion with two other addicts fans. 

Fifty-one isn't so bad after all. I am truly, truly blessed ... and, strangely enough, I find myself looking forward to fifty-two!

A few shots of my birthday bouquets...

 

   

Gratitude

Another birthday has rolled around somehow. Fifty-one just seems anti-climatic, doesn't it? Not nearly as exciting as fifty, but still just as unreal. Age really is just a number ... now I understand.

For years I've taken my Birthday-Day off to spend as I please, a gift for myself. Tom often takes the day off, too, and we go adventuring, usually a drive through the Hill Country checking out the wildflowers. Last year we explored one of the areas my memoir-writing grandfather lived and I think the year before that we took a ride on the Hill Country Flyer.

This year, we're both too busy at work to skip off into the Hill Country today - not a bad thing, of course, having jobs, and our free day is just postponed, not cancelled. So today will be like every other Tuesday - critter care, hours planted in front of a computer, and an episode of "Lost" - with perhaps some laundry or other chore squeezed in there somewhere.

No complaints from me, though ... this past weekend was a gift in itself: warm days, cool nights, and if there was a cloud in the sky, I don't remember seeing it. Flowers are blooming everywhere - our road is lined with yellow and purple ... the woods are splashed with pink from awakening redbud trees ... and bluebonnets crowd along the sides of the highway. 

The best part - my house was filled with kids. I'm so grateful that Tommy's girlfriend got a job in San Antonio - it means we get to see both of them much more often. 

Tom picked up the two youngest from college on his way home from work Friday night. The Girl promptly crawled into bed and fell asleep, poor thing. Daniel and I tried to watch Sherlock Holmes with Tom, but neither of us made it all the way through; all of those nights of just four hours of sleep finally caught up with me.

But, oh, sleeping in on a Saturday morning ... not needing to be up for anything in particular or be anywhere at a particular time. Glorious! It feels so good to be lazy sometimes, although by "lazy" don't think I wasn't busy. I made muffins for everyone, fed the dogs and the bird, probably straightened the kitchen and did some laundry before heading to Wales with Rick Steves and then working out - but it was my state of mind, not needing to rush, just taking my time. I love days like that.

Tommy, Kirby, and Josie arrived in the early afternoon. Josie is just an older version of Belle, a Rottweiler Terrier mix, and Max adores her. No, more than that ... he's obsessed with her! I'm sure the fact that Belle looks so much like Josie scored the puppy some points with Max. He probably thinks she's their Love Child. She looks like she could be!

Thanks to Tommy and Kirby, I finally visited Flat Creek Estate, a winery not far from us. It will soon be celebrating it's 10th anniversary, and yet I'm embarrassed to admit I had never been there! We sat at a small table in the tasting room, sampling several different wines and just talking, in a way I haven't had time to talk to them before. No rush, no interruptions, just me, them, and time ... and wine, crackers, chocolate, and beautiful scenery outside of the window.

Back home, we took all the critters for a walk, ate hamburgers, played board and card games, and watched movies.

It was such a wonderful day, but then Easter Sunday morning as I'm getting ready for church, I hear on the television that a 21-year-old college student disappeared Saturday while racing some friends across Hamilton Pool, a natural swimming hole outside of Austin.

For my family, Saturday was a beautiful day. For his, it was a tragedy.

I thought of friends of mine who have lost children this year, who must be feeling that loss even more keenly on Easter morning. I think of other friends who are separated from their children by miles ... or by hurt feelings, misunderstandings, and all of those other walls that somehow come between loved ones.

Easter Sunday is when we celebrate a Father being reunited with his Son - a promise to all of us for an end to our own separations. But we all want time in this lifetime, and that's why I consider the time I spent with my children this weekend a gift. A blessing.  I realize circumstances can change in a heartbeat, so I ignored the kitchen and the laundry, my blog and book, and soaked it up while I could, stockpiling memories for days I know will come when I won't be so lucky. 

Once again, I started the week on a sleep deficit. I know it's not good for me, but it was worth it. Sleep I can catch up on, sooner or later, but time here and now with my kids ... it's just not guaranteed, is it?

"What lies behind us and what lies before us, are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

 

(Still) Taming the Beast

Sigh. I feel better. The monster isn't tamed by any means, but he's a lot smaller and not nearly as menacing. Somehow I managed to stay focused on the biggest fun-suckers, like cleaning my house - the part of the monster that was casting the biggest shadow on everything else. Even when Rick Steves came on, I folded clothes, clipped coupons...I just kept snipping at the beast while keeping one eye and an ear on Rick (we traveled to Iran...pretty interesting!)

The house isn't completely cleaned - and I don't even have all of the coupons clipped! But at least I got started. I'll keep working on it this week and (I know I've said this before) I won't let it get that out-of-hand again.

Today, however, there will be a much-needed trip to the grocery store, some desk work and a trek downtown to retrieve one of my children. It's Spring Break! Tom will bring the other one home tomorrow. The washing machine will be doing double-time!

I did manage to squeeze some fun into the weekend yesterday. I mixed some dancing in with my dusting (even cleaning house is fun when you're listening to music!)... we watched an old movie last night ("10 Things I Hate About You" - kind of a silly high school version of "The Taming of the Shrew" with a few really funny parts and a young Heath Ledger)...and we took the boys for a long morning walk through the woods with a stop at the "neighborhood pool"...evidence of spring was all around us...

 

    

 

How was your Saturday?

Decisions, Decisions...

Frankie the Guinea Fowl usually escorts me to my car every morning, then runs alongside until we reach the property line. I have no idea why; it's just what he does. For some reason, he feels this is his duty and therefore, I'm honored.

This morning, however...no Frankie! I finally traced his chirps into the woods, where he was settled into a hole in the dirt, like a hen sits on a nest. He looked mighty comfortable, but I could tell he was torn, trying to decide whether he should escort (chase) me down the road or stay put. He would lift up an inch or two, then settle back down.

"That's okay, Frankie. You don't have to chase me today."

Ah, conflict. Despite my assurances, I could see him struggling under the weight of the choices. I watched him as I started the car and backed up, curious to see which would win, duty or pleasure. 

It was pleasure; he stayed put, comfy in his earthen nest.

Like Frankie, I found myself struggling to make a similar decision these past two days...duty or pleasure? Should I stay home, finally clean this filthy house, get some work done outside (it's going to be a beautiful weekend!) and catch up on writing and to-do list items?

Or...should I head to the coast, to Galveston, to a birthday party of a friend who's guests will also include George Strait's Ace in the Hole Band and friends from high school I haven't seen in a long, long time?

I hate having to make decisions like this...I know no matter what I decide, I'm going to have regrets.

On the one hand, Galveston has always been a special place to me ...a calming place that would pull me into its arms and soothe me when life threatened to overwhelm me. History, the beach, the sea and sun...ah, my idea of heaven. Then there are the friends I haven't seen in close to a year...I was really looking forward to spending some time with them, walking along the Strand or the seawall before heading for the party. And of course, with the Ace in the Hole band playing, there would be dancing...

On the other hand, and you might not realize this unless you're a first-class Procrastinator like me, but I've discovered something: if you ignore a to-do list long enough, it swells into a huge, hulking monster that looms over you, sucking the fun out of everything. And right now my house is splattered with so many lists morphing into monsters, so many scraps of paper with random thoughts scribbled on them that even I don't comprehend - like my brain exploded or something - that my house now resembles the setting of a Stephen King novel.

So, reluctantly, I'm choosing duty over pleasure this time. I need to be a grownup, damn it. I hate that! I can't believe I'm choosing staying home to tackle chores over a party in Galveston!

But I realize if I don't stop and breathe and tackle this mess it will consume me. Nothing will hold pleasure for me until the biggest monster has been tamed. I'm realistic enough to know this guy isn't going to disappear in one weekend, but maybe I'll be able to at least clean him up like Harry on Harry and the Hendersons. I love that movie! Maybe this will be a fun weekend, after all!

 

 

Second Chances

 

 

I'm a LOST addict. I'll just get that out of the way right now. My son got me hooked sometime late in the first season, despite my scorn and cynicism and efforts to ignore it. 

Now, I'm not an expert and I don't spend hours ripping all of the clues apart for hidden meanings or discussing theories with other LOST fanatics. Minutes, maybe...okay, maybe one single hour a week, but not "hours". Jeez. However, this is mostly because I have a terrible memory.

But I enjoy revisiting the Island every week. I'm invested in the characters; I love them because they are so intricate, so layered, so flawed. So human. Every single one of them.

One of my favorite characters is Ben, despite the fact that he has shown himself over and over to be a power-hungry, lying, cold-hearted murderer. Nevertheless, there have been glimpses of good in him over the past few seasons, like tiny flecks of gold in gray, cold rock. Michael Emerson is the actor behind Ben - he's phenomenal...somehow portraying Ben as a despicable yet sympathetic character.

Tonight's episode rewarded my faith in Ben and my belief that change is possible in everyone. Everyone can reform...everyone deserves a second chance. Ben finally confessed and expressed regret over many of his actions...and Ilana forgave him for the grief he caused her. Her forgiveness and acceptance of him, despite all of his previous sins and faults, opened the door for Ben's redemption and he stepped through, turning his back on the "dark" side. 

A great lesson for everyone on both sides of that door, I believe.

Love is...(continued)

I realize Valentine's Day is behind us, but a chat with my mom, a movie, and an email from a friend have kept me thinking of Romantic Love and the different ways it can be expressed...especially those ways you don't anticipate when New Love first sets your heart on fire.

My mother's Valentine story made me laugh. My diabetic Daddy gave her a large box of Millionaire candies - delicious milk chocolate, caramel and pecans. Knowing Daddy has a terrific sweet tooth, Mama gallantly ate the majority of the box so that even if he snuck into it, there wouldn't be enough left for him to OD on sugar. Sometimes self-sacrifice for love can be sweet...

Saturday night my Valentine Tom and I watched "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"...the movie  where Brad Pitt plays a character who is born an old man and dies a young baby. On the outside, anyway...on the inside he ages just like everyone else. But as interesting and creative as the reverse age concept was, that wasn't what got me crying near the end. No, what touched my heart were the scenes where the wife is dealing with her Alzheimer's stricken husband...caring for him so tenderly. She is the one I cried for, thinking of a friend who is caring for a husband with early onset Alzheimer's right now and remembering the sweet, loving notes she writes about him on Facebook...

I cried again today over an email from another friend, Jean. She told me that my recent blog posts, "What This Heart Holds" and "Love Is...", made her think of her own marriage and the tough, heartbreaking ways she and her husband ultimately showed their love for each other.  She gave me permission to share her story here...

"Late in July, 2003, Bill had his stroke.  He deteriorated fairly rapidly.  He had the stroke on Sat. morning and by Wed. night the doctor was advising me to sign a "do not resuscitate" statement.  It was the hardest thing I ever had to do and haunts me to this day, but I knew how he felt about feeding tubes and about keeping people alive when there was no hope for a meaningful life. He was no longer able to move or to talk.  My children wanted me to do it, and my son was with me when I did; he couldn't watch, though, walking over to the window, sobbing.  As I think back on it, that was my "love is" for him.

 

Nine days after his stroke, I had gone home at 9:30, exhausted.  Soon after I arrived home, they called me from the hospital and said he was very restless and threshing around in the bed and would I like to come.   Of course, I went in immediately.  When I got there, I picked up a Bible on the way in and went over to his bed and started to read to him from John:  "Let not your heart be troubled; ye believe in God, believe also in me.  In my Father's house are many mansions. . ."

 

He got very still and drifted into unconsciousness.  He died the next night, not having moved a muscle since I read to him.  The nurses at the hospital told me that they had seen that happen before, but never to that extent.  It means so much to me that he just refused to die or even to slip into a coma until I was with him.  That's love!"

 

Not what any of them expected when they first fell in love, but love just the same.

 

 

 

 

 

Crazy Heart...Who Dat!

Sometimes it amazes me how a weekend, as it's depicted on a calendar, can have so much white space on it, yet when it's time to live it, it has become a too-small suitcase that you've over-packed and now you're sitting on top of it, bouncing, trying to get it all to fit.

Needless to say, I didn't get many things scratched off of my dusty to-do lists this past weekend. But thank goodness happiness doesn't depend on "getting things done."

I know it doesn't because, other than finally cleaning our shower (it had moved to the top of the list and was screaming at me...otherwise it would have been ignored again) and grabbing some groceries when I took the Girl shopping, I didn't get anything on my list done! Tom even made the brownies for us to take to the Super Bowl party Sunday afternoon. (I'm such a slacker sometimes.) But I had a wonderful weekend anyway!

It started Friday...Daniel came home for the weekend. I only had time for a quick hug and kiss, though, because it was also another movie/dinner night with the girls to see "Crazy Heart" in celebration of my friend Cheryl's birthday.

Ah, Crazy Heart. My new favorite movie. The big question on my mind is: why, why, why wasn't it included in the Academy Award "Best Picture" nominations? Granted, I haven't seen all of the nominees, but I have seen three, including "Up in the Air" and (in my opinion) "Crazy Heart" has it beat all the way around.

It's just a beautiful movie...it has tragedy written all over it...yet it's hopeful and uplifting. It's a glass of wine and a visit with an old friend...a laugh and a tear. It's a song on the radio....tender, heartbreaking. It's faded photographs in an old album. Bittersweet memories. It's a quiet sigh, a smile and a kiss on the cheek good-bye.

No one applauded at the end. It was one of those you just don't want to end. You have fallen in love with the characters and don't want them to leave. They are people you know...friends, relatives...real people you care about despite their human frailties. Maybe because of their human frailties.

Saturday was when my suitcase started bulging. First, a relaxing lunch with my cousin Patricia, long overdue. Despite living so close, we hadn't seen each other since this time last year! We have vowed to spend a weekend or two this year exploring cemeteries and courthouse records in hopes of digging up more family history. There are still too many irresistible unsolved mysteries.

After lunch I headed downtown, scooped up the Girl and spent a few hours shopping...just groceries and some college supplies this time, but it was fun just spending time with her. A bonus...she showed me around the sorority house and introduced me to the house mother. (Is it wrong to live vicariously through your children?)

Once I delivered her and her bags back to the dorm, I headed for my friend Darla's house. Our mutual friend Annie (the author of Objects of Reflection) was in town for a quick visit and I couldn't pass up the opportunity to see her...and get my copy autographed! The three of us feasted on shrimp and asparagus, drifted from the past to the present to the future and before I knew it it was midnight.

Sunday was, naturally, late Mass. It's impossible to squeeze eight hours of sleep into my routine during the week, but it's a priority on the weekends! Afterwards I caught up with Daniel, did a little writing and laundry and cleaned our shower while Tom baked the brownies.

What a perfect way to end the weekend...gathering with friends to watch the "Who Dat" Saints win the Super Bowl.

Yeah, it was a fast and furious, over-stuffed weekend and I'm STILL working on Chapter 8 and behind on my to-do's...but I'm smiling! 

Anticipation...LOST

Do not call me, for I will not answer - at least not tonight after 7, Central Time. Physically I will be nestled on my couch with eyes glued to the television. Mentally, I'll be an imagination away on a remote, mysterious island trying to figure out what the hell is going on.

My name is Barbara Shallue and I am a LOST-aholic.

I don't pretend to be an expert; my memory isn't that sharp. I just enjoy the ride! The twists and turns of the story line that annoy many people - I love them! For a long time I suspected the writers were making it up as they went...but that didn't bother me. I envied them and their creativity! I really didn't care if they ever tied it all together.

It reminded me of a writing exercise in one of my classes, where we worked as a group to create a story...each of us beginning where the previous teammate had left off. I had the honor of gathering all of the loose ends and random facts together into a grand finale - it was the most fun I've ever had on a writing project. Probably some of my most creative work!

I love the characters in LOST - multilayered, complex, full of surprises, each one good AND bad in their own way (in other words...human.) Each is seemingly completely different from the next - culturally, morally, etc. - yet they connect.

I love how far-fetched the whole story line appears to be...and yet the writers have managed to create a world where it fits. Now, with each episode, I am even more impressed with the details, the background, the way they are beginning to fit the puzzle pieces together...how they weaved these characters and each of their individual stories into this one huge epic tale.

Tonight is the beginning episode of Season 6 - the Final Season. It's not too late to become a LOST aficionado yourself...Entertainment Weekly will run you through the "10 Essential Episodes" (click here.) (Yes, like all junkies, I'm trying to create other addicts.)

For you comrades who are already LOST...check out LOST Season 6, a website totally dedicated to this season. And see if you agree with Megan Smith's  "The 25 Best Moments of "LOST"on Blogher.

I hope you all join me in this last trip back to the island. Those of you that choose to remain behind, remember...don't call me after 7!

It's a Girlfriend Thing

Let me first say that I love my husband...I have fun just hanging out with him, he makes me laugh, we have great discussions, I can talk to him about anything, he's my best friend, blah, blah, blah...

With that out of the way, let me second say that I love my girlfriends, too...and I don't get to see them nearly as often as I'd like...

...which is why last Saturday I jumped on the chance to spend the day with my friends Mary Kay and Karen...attending a University of Texas women's basketball game, dinner and a movie ("Up in the Air" with George Clooney...good, but not as good as I expected) with a little shopping squeezed in between.

...and it's why, even though I was heading out of town the next morning, I left my poor, sick husband home alone this past Friday night to meet my friends Darla and Leslie (and Larry and Roy, but this is about GIRLfriends...no offense, Larry and Roy) to hear the Rhythm Dawgs play in a smoky Round Rock bar. Darla is in the first days of a new relationship and I just had to see her floating on air with my own eyes. (I wasn't disappointed.)

Thank goodness Tom understands about girlfriends - and even about non-girl friends like Larry and Roy. Many man don't. But that's one reason why I'm so crazy about him!

My trip to Pasadena was all about family this time, not girlfriends. I spent time visiting, remembering, laughing...watching "Inglourious Basterds" with my parents, brother and niece...being entertained by the squirrels and birds who have taken over the backyard and keep my parents hopping...

...but I did slip in a quick detour to meet my sister and her husband at my friend Rae's Mexican Imports garage sale on my way out of town Sunday...I needed to drop off a plastic container she had left at my house in October when everyone came for our friend Ann's birthday celebration. (I only bought the two pairs of earrings at the garage sale to be polite. Okay...it was also because they were gorgeous and such a great deal!)

While we're speaking of girlfriends...specifically Ann...I am so excited that my very own copy of her book Objects of Reflection was delivered today. It was a girlfriend thing that made me cheer her on the past few months as she worked on it...it was a girlfriend thing that I ordered it and spread the word about it here on my blog...but after flipping through it, reading some of her magical poetry, believe me...it will not be just a girlfriend thing that makes me read it.  It's a beautiful piece of art in itself. Way to go, girlfriend!

Going backwards...

I'm a proud owner of Objects of Reflection!

Me, Darla and Leslie toasting new love, new beginnings at the Roadhouse Bar and Grill...

 
Me, Mary Kay and Karen having fun even though our team lost...

Discovering Temple Grandin

I've discovered a whole new world that I didn't even realize existed.

Until about a year ago, I knew nothing about autism. I was aware of it...I personally knew children with it...but I didn't have a clue how complex it could be until I became involved with Jobs4Autism, the nonprofit website my employers sponsor.

Since then I've read numerous articles, subscribed to newsletters and joined communities on Twitter and Facebook. I've met mothers and fathers of children with autism. I've met mothers and fathers who themselves are on the autism spectrum, along with numerous founders of organizations dedicated to helping and supporting the autism cause.

What I've learned is...there is a lot more to learn. Autism is broad, layered, connected by similarities but separated by differences. And it's a lot more common than most of us realize. I've enjoyed working on the website because I can see that one of the biggest problems is just lack of understanding about autism; I feel we are doing a little bit to erase that ignorance...to help close the gap between "neuro-typicals" and those on the spectrum.

No matter where I turn, one name keeps popping up: Temple Grandin. Over the past year, I've come to know enough about her to understand why her name is mentioned whenever people begin talking about autism. She is a barrier-breaker, although she didn't set out to break barriers - she just had a dream and refused to let anyone stop her from achieving it, whether it was because she was a woman or because she was on the autism spectrum. She is an inpiration to everyone that has ever had a dream and had to overcome obstacles to reach it.

On Saturday, February 6, a movie based on two of Grandin's books (Thinking in Pictures and Emergence, co-written with Margeret Sciarano) premiers on HBO, starring Claire Danes as Temple Grandin and directed by Mick Jackson. For those like me who haven't read Grandin's books, it's a great opportunity to see her story.

Last week on Jobs4Autism I blogged about an interview with Grandin by author Chantal Sicile-Kira published in the Huffington Post. Our website is focused on employment for those on the spectrum, and in the interview Grandin shared some great advice that applies to anyone trying to get a job...not just those on the spectrum.

Grandin also mentions the importance of mentors in her life - she credits them with giving her the guidance, support and confidence she needed to move forward and accomplish all that she has accomplished. Isn't that true for anyone? I've certainly had mentors help me along my way. I sure hope in my days as a librarian and volunteer I was able to have a positive influence on the kids that crossed my path.

You can read my Jobs4Autism blog post here, but I encourage you to read Sicile-Kira's entire interview here and especially, I encourage you to watch Temple Grandin.

(above photo credit: HBO/Van Redin)

Not on my list, but just what I needed...Popcorn and Sherlock

When you have a stress knot in your neck and to-do lists are popping up all over the house and you're wondering when you're going to have time to do all of them, is it really sane to head off to the movies after work instead of trying to scratch things off?

Who cares? Yeah, I know I've been complaining about not having enough time in the day...I realize I have to be up 5 am again in the morning...I can see there are still a few ornaments waiting quietly on the kitchen table to be boxed and shelved for another year...but I turned a blind eye to it all and treated Daniel and Kendall to the movies tonight. I love sitting in a dark theater, sharing the movie experience with other people, stuffing that salty, unhealthy popcorn in my mouth by the handfuls...Tom hates it. So I have to take advantage of having the kids here while I can. Gotta get my movie/popcorn fix!

Tonight we saw Sherlock Holmes. I wasn't sure what to expect...some critics loved it, some hated it, and the one viewer review I read said "save your money." But I've read the complete Sherlock Holmes collection...I'm a big Guy Ritchie fan ("Snatch", "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels")...and you can hardly go wrong with Robert Downey Jr. or Jude Law.  It was worth the gamble.

I loved it. It isn't a film...it doesn't make you think or feel. So if that's what you're looking for...yes, save your money. But if you enjoy action and popcorn-munching mystery, like I do...if you want to laugh or just be entertained for a couple of hours...then I think you'll love it, too. Two thumbs up!

On Christmas Day

Christmas is different when your kids get older...instead of staying up late wrapping presents on Christmas Eve, you tell them goodnight and hope you wake up early enough to make sure Santa has done his job before they wake up. Even after they're older, you still want to play the game.

We shared Mass with a church-full of people last night - many I didn't recognize. Were they all visiting? Or were they the kind who only attend church on Christmas and Easter? It doesn't matter - I know from experience that even a visit here and there can touch your heart.

We watched movies with the kids after Mass and stayed up late...therefore we slept late...but not as late as our kids. Tommy got up relatively early because he's puppy-sitting his girlfriend's dog Josie - I don't mind...I couldn't ask for a sweeter "grandpuppy". So he, Tom and I ate breakfast together...a huge breakfast of eggs, bacon and toast we only have three times a year...on Christmas, Mother's Day and Father's Day.

Daniel and Kendall finally woke up (with a little help from Tommy and Josie) but no one was in a hurry to open presents. Tom, Tommy, Josie, Max and I went for a walk - Max doesn't know what to think of Josie, a Rottwieler/terrier mix...she's a little tornado, running and spinning in circles around him. He's smitten.

It has been a beautiful day...full of sunshine and blue skies. We didn't buy many presents, so I spent the day in the kitchen, trying to fulfill wishes...baking a turkey, dressing, pumpkin pie, broccoli cheese casserole...all the things they asked for, but so out of character for me. I have cooked more in the last month than I have in two years! The boys were wonderful...Tommy chopped veggies for me, Daniel hung around ready to do whatever I needed, from sauteing celery and onion to playing a quick game of ping-pong before it got too dark...one of the things I'd hoped for for Christmas.

Dinner was traditional turkey and dressing, on my rarely used wedding china and crystal, followed by pumpkin pie and everyone crowded on a couch downstairs to watch the new Star Trek movie.

Tommy slipped out early to visit with his longtime friend Graham...we took over watching Josie for him, so she ended up on the couch with us for a little while. We figured it was our job to spoil her just a little more.

It's time for bed, but I glanced at Facebook just to check up on all my "people" and came across this note by my cousin Joanna, which I thought was a wonderful reminder for all of us about what Christmas is all about; we are all angels if we choose to be...

"Now I don't claim to be a writer but I am a thinker. I have family members who are writers, my daughter Ashley and my very talented cousin Barbara.
But I do want to share an interesting thing that happened yesterday on the way home from my parents. We stopped at a new little country store in Buna, Tx. I am recovering from bronchitis and not feeling a 100 % and truth be known, blue from having to leave my parents home on christmas eve to go back to work. Anyways the family went in the store, I stayed in the van with the grandson. I guess I must have looked sad, sick or something because I looked up to catch a man's eye. He mouthed Merry Christmas, I smiled and mouthed back Merry Christmas. He smiled and mouthed Its going to be okay, and pointed to the sky and smiled the most perfect smile that lit his whole face up. Well I smiled backed and thanked him. That perfect stranger made my day so much brighter and reminded me that Jesus is the reason for this season. Not presents, nor not getting to spend the day of Christmas with my parents, but because of his birth and everything his life became. I get so bogged down in silly things that I forget that reason ALOT!! Well I never claim to be perfect.
I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and I hope this new year brings happiness and healing to all those who need it. This past year has been really hard and trying on alot of friends and family members. I will continue to write down my thoughts, so bear with me, because I am a thinker not a writer... " 

I beg to differ on the "writer" part...and to think I used to babysit this girl...! Her note reminded me of this quote I read in Catholic Digest magazine...

"I am not alone at all, I thought. I was never alone at all. And that, of course, is the message of Christmas. We are never alone. Not when the night is darkest, the wind coldest, the world seemingly most indifferent. For this is still the time God chooses." - Taylor Caldwell, American writer

We are not alone because Jesus is God but he was also a man...he experienced what we experience...friendship, family, love...loss, disappointment, loneliness...there is nothing we can feel that he hasn't already experienced himself.

No matter what we feel, he understands. That's almost the best Christmas gift ever. Merry Christmas, everyone!

Sweet Kisses and Skipping

Christmas is the season of joy, but it's easy to let that joy get buried by to-do lists, exhaustion and financial stress.

Yesterday I re-discovered a sure-fire way to bust that joy back out of the rubble...skipping!

I really have no idea why the notion to skip entered my brain, but there I was on our morning walk, returning from the bend, and something inside of me said SKIP! So I skipped.

Do you remember that scene when little boy Forrest Gump is running from the bullies ("Run, Forrest, run!") and his leg braces come loose and get left in the dust behind him? That's how it felt when I skipped...the to-do lists and the stress and the worries just broke loose and got left behind...once again, I was ten years old. At least for a little while, anyway.

I'm sure anyone looking on would have thought, That is one crazy lady! There I was, this fifty-year old woman skipping along the dirt road, with a guinea fowl and a giant German Shepherd trotting along beside me.

But it was FUN! Joyful! It made the gray sky disappear, made my heart feel lighter and brought a smile to my face! I skipped again this morning and plan to do it every morning from here on out, as long as I am physically able. (It's also great exercise!)

I told Tom he should try it at work when he's feeling frustrated, but he pointed out that it might land him on the "lay-off" list, and I guess he's right. They would think he had flipped. Perhaps there are times when skipping wouldn't help, after all...

Max enjoys my skipping, but I think Frankie's a little annoyed: he doesn't have as much time to snack on our walks anymore (I can move pretty fast!)

I can tell Max still misses Charly, so every morning I linger after he eats to cuddle him. He gives me hugs (he wraps his leg around my leg) and "sweet" kisses...little nibbles on my arm which sometimes result in tiny blood blisters, but he's at least trying to be gentle!

I know he must be lonely - Frankie is a chatterbox, but Max knows he can't even give Frankie "sweet" kisses, much less play with him. I don't see us getting a puppy any time soon, but then, we never know what's going to wander up out of the woods and adopt us. God might have another surprise visitor out there waiting right now for the right time to make an appearance. I'd rather let him pick out our puppy...or whatever...anyway. He always knows just what we need.

Post-Thanksgiving...Pre-Christmas

The turkey soup landed in the garbage can tonight. I was sad to see it go...it was the first Leftover-Turkey Soup I've ever made, and it was good! But Tom and I can only eat so much...and then only so much of the same thing for just so many days in a row.

That's one of the problems with an Empty Nest - too much food goes in the garbage. Right now we still have leftover pork chops AND chili, and way more oranges, apples, grapes and lunchmeat than Tom and I can eat by ourselves. More Thanksgiving turkey and ham would have gone in the garbage, but it's the only thing Charly would eat. Now it's all gone and he's working on the lunchmeat and white bread.

It seems just about the time I adjust my cooking and shopping to the number of mouths expecting to be fed, the number of kids in the house changes again...either coming home or heading back to school. It takes awhile to adjust my buying and cooking appropriately.

Even though we had the pork chops, I had to make chili Friday night. That's what you make on snow days...even if the snow only falls for 5 minutes and doesn't stick to anything.

We also made it because we had guests that left Houston, where a rare snowfall actually accumulated a few inches, to visit us for the weekend...my niece Christin and her friend Ashley. We couldn't just serve them leftover pork chops, for goodness sakes...not if they left snow to see us!

Christin came bearing movies I hadn't yet seen - we had a Double Feature Movie Night - "August Rush" (what a sweet story - a combination fantasy, musical and love story, rolled into one) AND "Australia" which was good, but long...I admit I took a short nap in the middle of it. I should have known better than to try to watch two movies in a row after a long, emotional week. I'll give it another try later, with a big bowl of popcorn handy!

Saturday was absolutely gorgeous - brilliant sunshine and perfect temperatures. We took the girls and the critters for a walk to the corner. While we searched for fossils, Charly headed off toward some nearby property where there's a dead dog (Daniel had told us about it - he said someone had shot it, which you can imagine made me a little nervous.) I called and called, but the stubborn old dog wouldn't come back, so we had to follow him. When Frankie realized there was a dead dog there, he started squawking and squawking. It took a while for him to calm down, poor bird.

I finally got Charly away from the dead dog; he headed toward the creek and we just let him lead the way. He didn't have a problem going downhill to the creekbed, but going back up on the other side was a different story: I had to carry him up the steep bank, about ten feet. I had to carry him again a little while later when he was determined to continue our walk along the creek across our "dam" neighbor's property - he doesn't understand why we can't walk there anymore, after so many years. I pleaded, begged and tugged on his collar, but finally gave up and just lifted him up - he wagged his tail as I huffed and puffed up to the road.

Next, Christin, Ashley and I jumped in the car and headed downtown to grab Kendall and go shopping. Ah, the mall at Christmas...crazy! But I got my Panda Express Orange Chicken fix and found some good deals on the clearance racks at Macy's.

After dropping Kendall off at her dorm, I took a detour through downtown Austin to show Christin and Ashley the Capitol Building and Congress Avenue all lit up for Christmas. Then I drove down 6th Street so she could say she'd been there...technically speaking...and then zoomed home in time to watch the University of Texas vs. Nebraska game...a real nail-biter but UT pulled it off at the end to win the Big 12 Championship. Whew!

It doesn't seem possible that December is already 1/4 of the way over, does it? This week's agenda: Christmas shopping...Christmas cards...Christmas parties...

And hanging over it all...Charly.

"My Friends Meet Shake Russell and All I Get is a You-Tube Video"...or "Where's a Teleporter When You Need One?"

I'm not really whining.

Well, okay, I am a little. It just seems that sometimes everything happens at once, doesn't it?

Here's the story...

For months I've been looking forward to this past weekend...my friends Tully and Brad were coming to Austin and a bunch of us were going to meet downtown.

Then came the call from Bob, another friend: "Lisa and I are having a Shake Russell concert IN OUR HOUSE!" Of course, it was scheduled for Friday night of the same weekend. And Bob and Lisa live four hours away, near Houston.

I did some quick calculations. We had offered to host the Red River Shootout party (University of Texas vs. Oklahoma University football game) with our local friends on Saturday. Kick-off was scheduled for 11am, but, even so, I thought we could miss one night with Tully and Brad, run down to Houston to see Shake (and Bob and Lisa, of course!) on Friday, zip back here in time to host the football game party Saturday morning and still get to see Tully and Brad Saturday night. Yes! It could work!

Tom brought me back to reality and I'm glad he did. The weekend was packed as tight as it could get already - I was nuts to think we could fit one more thing in...especially a "thing" that involved eight hours of driving.

We ended up having a fabulous weekend - perfect autumn weather...hours and hours with wonderful friends...good food...pretty cocktails...UT beat OU...and I finally experienced a taste of downtown Austin nightlife and Tully's sipping tequila...

But...Shake Russell was crooning in Bob and Lisa's livingroom Friday night. And I missed it.

Tully, Brad & company Friday and Saturday nights...FUN!

(Mostly) UT dads during halftime of the Red River Shootout...

A You Tube video of Shake singing "You've Got a Lover" (one of my favorites) in Bob and Lisa's livingroom...it's almost like being there. Almost...

 

 

Feeling Wild...

It is an absolutely gorgeous day in Texas, the end of an absolutely gorgeous weekend. Perfect temperatures, clear blue skies, flowers blooming, dragonflies buzzing....

I've spent a weekend surrounded by friends, experiencing new places, food and drink...cheering, laughing, hugging. And it hasn't stopped yet...

We snagged Daniel from his apartment late last night - he came home to do his laundry and just hang out at the house with us. I planned to spend this day trying to get caught up on my to-do list and enjoy the sunshine.

But something is calling me and I have to answer - the call of the wild..."Where the Wild Things Are" is playing nearby - one of my all-time favorite children's books. Who better to see it with than one of my own "Max"s (Daniel). We've thoroughly justified the shirking of responsibility in our own minds. I'm not sure if Tom will buy our excuses, but that usually doesn't stop us.

Off to the wild rumpus...

Like Standing on Boo Radley's Porch

One of my favorite quotes in To Kill a Mockingbird is when Atticus says you should "climb into someone's skin and walk around in it" before judging them. The point is visually driven home in the movie when Scout stands on Boo Radley's porch seeing the world, or at least the neighborhood, from his point of view.

For the last few months, I have been in a crash course on autism. My company (NameStormers) sponsors a nonprofit website called Jobs4Autism.com, and part of my job is promoting and moderating the website, including writing short blog posts, researching autism, and communicating with some individuals on the spectrum through Twitter, email and Facebook. I have to admit it's the most interesting and rewarding part of my job. Every day I learn a little more, and realize that what I know is a drop in the bucket.

In my research I came across this documentary video, "Inside Looking Out" by Nick Simone, a young man with Asperger's Syndrome, a form of autism. Like Scout standing on Boo Radley's porch, watching this video allows us to look at the world from Nick's point-of-view and in doing so, have more understanding for those in the autism spectrum.

    Take a look and prepare to be impressed....

Sunshine and Sprouts

The sun came out this afternoon. It drew me out to the porch, where I scratched puppy dogs' ears, admired the blue sky peeking through the oak tree branches, marveled at the greenness around me and at how quickly things had sprouted in our little front yard.

I spend most of my day inside, in front of a computer. Some days my brain feels like it's in its own little drought - but give me a porch swing, sunshine and fresh air, and I can feel little sprouts of thoughts popping up in my head...

"The privilege of a lifetime is to be yourself." (Joseph Campbell)

I've been thinking about this one for awhile. It sounds so simple, and yet, if you toss it around a few times, you see it's a bit more complicated than you first thought. What does it mean to be yourself? Don't we spend a lifetime trying to figure that out?

That reminded me of "Shirley Valentine", a movie Tom and I watched this weekend....my sister Brenda and I don't think alike about everything, but most things we do, so I should have known I'd love the movies she recommended and loaned to me almost a year ago. In my defense, I couldn't get anyone to watch them with me until now, and I had forgotten about them. Tom is the one that pulled Shirley off the shelf this past weekend. It's a perfect movie for me to watch right now, about a woman peeling back layers of life that have accumulated over the years and happily discovering she's still in there. It's funny, sensitive, and surprising.

Brenda had to remind me about "Cinema Paradiso" - oh, I hate that I went so long without seeing this one! It's in Italian, but within minutes, I didn't even notice the subtitles. It's about friendship, how it can pop up in the weirdest places, support you for a lifetime, and inspire you to be yourself. One minute I was laughing and the next I was reaching past Tom for a Kleenex.

Speaking of friendship, we spent Sunday afternoon with our gang of my ex-high school classmates, and even some of their kids in their twenties joined us (not mine, though.) We sang Happy Birthday to Darla's daughter, and to another friend that was celebrating in Houston, but that's not why we got together. It's that friendship thing. They are part of what makes me "me", and I've neglected that part long enough. Life is short.

Patrick Swayze. Although it wasn't unexpected, it makes me sad knowing he's gone. Graceful, macho, sensitive, sexy, talented...

I bet, by the end, he understood what Joseph Campbell meant...

"The privilege of a lifetime is to be yourself."

 

Shopping with a Side of Basterds

Saturday was getting pretty tight, but with some determination and a little creative packing, Kendall and I managed to squeeze the Basterds in between Target and HEB. It meant some of my Saturday spilled over into Sunday - it was 1 a.m. before I got home from all the shopping and shuttling - but it was worth it getting to spend time with Kendall, grab a hug and kiss from Daniel, and get my movie and popcorn fix. 

Now, I'm not a passionate Tarantino fan, but I do recognize his talent and creativity, and I've seen most of his movies. I've enjoyed quite a few of them to a certain extent. But there are two things about his movies that always distract me from the brilliant screenplay and acting:  for me, he just goes too far with the violence and blood (I know, I know...it's meant to be over the top, blah, blah, blah...it's a long-running discussion with my kids) and his characters, while being very detailed and interesting...well, I just don't really like a lot of them. As in...I just don't care one way or another about them. They don't have any redeeming values. I like to "feel" during a movie - happy, sad, mad - and if you can't sympathize with something about the character, you're not going to feel very much.

But...I'd heard good things about "Inglourious Basterds," and wanted to see for myself. My verdict? I think it's Tarantino's best movie (of the ones I've seen, anyway.) It's a gutsy, creative story.  The screenplay is tight, and the acting is fantastic (all of the actors...not just Brad Pitt.) During the course of the 153 minutes (it sure didn't seem that long) I laughed, cheered, gasped with fear and surprise, and got mad. I didn't cry, but I did feel sad. Tarantino is an expert at using camera angles, lighting, music and flashbacks.

I expected the high level of violence (after all, the whole story is about killing Nazis! It's a war story!), but I still felt there was more gore than necessary (about the same level as "Saving Private Ryan".) 

The rest of us have imaginations, too, Quentin. Let us use them!

Taggin' Along and Catchin' Up

My friend Darla's daughter finished up two weeks of summer camp in East Texas today. Another friend, Patti, offered to let her spend last night at her lakehouse near the camp so she wouldn't have to make such a long drive first thing this morning. Darla invited me to go along just for fun.

Heck, yes! Road trip!

Never mind that I'm always complaining about not having enough time in the day to get everything done and that I'm quick to use "no time" as an excuse that the laundry is piling up or the refrigerator is empty or my book isn't written.  Life's just too short to pass up a chance for a change of scenery...hours yakking with dear friends...sipping margaritas as the sun sets on a beautiful lake...witnessing first hand the reunion between a mother and daughter who have been separated for two weeks...and, to be honest, catching a glimpse of what a real "Parent Trap" camp looks like.

So what if I'm sitting at the end of another "not much accomplished" weekend - I have no regrets at all. For one thing, at the end of last week I zoomed around getting things done just so I could go without too much guilt - I was whooped! I needed a break!

 Here's a quick update of the end of last week... 

Thursday...our anniversary. We had a wonderful dinner at Outback Steakhouse (free, thanks to a gift card someone special gave us.) And even though my car was supposed to be my our anniversary gift, he surprised me with a Windberg print of an old barn he discovered on Craig's List (I've been a fan for thirty years) and a beautiful, sweet card - a good thing, because of the video he sent me via email earlier in the week, entitled "The Perfect Marriage" (see it below.)

 My gift to him? I settled on only one card instead of buying three like I usually do and I'm not taking a class this semester. (I know...pretty lame...but he really is impossible to shop for! And these things really do make him happy!)

Friday...TG's last day at work. Our bosses took us both to lunch at a new place in town (new for all of us, anyway.) I'm going to miss having her nearby all day long.

After dinner we shopped - I think we scoured every clearance rack in Kohl's and finished up just before the lights went out - and laughed till we cried listening to comedy channels on my free-for-now XM Radio. It's hard to believe that this time next week she'll be settling into life as a college freshman, and Tom and I will really and truly be empty-nesters!

Below...a taste of lake life with dear friends...a sign from the camp (I want one for my house!)...the "funny" email Tom sent me...

  

Sidetracked

Tom stood in the doorway, bent over, hands on his knees.

"Did you almost faint or something?"

He shook his head, smiling. Or was it a grimace? "My back. Here...help me." He put a hand on my shoulder and pushed until (groaning the whole way) he was standing up straight. He hobbled back over to the bed and, groaning loudly again, stretched out flat. (Sigh of relief.)

Well, so much for our Friday night plans - a birthday party and music in the woods. And all it took was working a screwdriver in just the right "wrong" position a little too long to weaken some important muscle (or disc? Hope not!), and then just the right "wrong" movement a few hours later to throw it into a tizzy.

Poor Tom...this was going to be a weekend to get things done. He always has several projects going at once, plus all the surprise attacks that pop up...the most recent is a search for the least-expensive new carburetor he can find for the Suzuki Samurai so it can pass the emissions inspection. Despite his aching back, he set his alarm to wake him up early this morning, determined to "get things done" (I kept snoozing)...but a few hours sitting at the computer already did him in: he's back in bed. I keep asking what I can do to help - I've even offered to clean the jacuzzi tub for him to soak in for a while to soothe those muscles. He just says leave him alone and quit bothering him. Such a sweetheart. So I'm biting my tongue and leaving him alone to groan in peace and solitude (although I still think soaking in the tub would help.)

I'm having a great weekend so far, though! I've been tackling to-do lists...sticking to my work-outs...catching up with laundry and Facebook. What a surprise to sign on there last night and discover a video of myself as a baby, being held, bounced and kissed by my grandmother and mother (and a glimpse of my thirty-three-year-old dad in the background.) My cousin digitalized her parents' old family movies and is generously sharing clips of them...such priceless memories and images, frozen in time in a way that photographs just can't deliver. Thank you Aunt Mavis and Uncle Charles for recording them, and Charlene for preserving and sharing them! It's given me new incentive to dig out our old VHS tapes and finally transfer them to DVD - a summer project I planned to tackle two summers ago that somehow slipped off of my to-do list (well, more likely got pushed off by more urgent duties!)  

   Last night I also took advantage of having Daniel home to get my funny movie fix - we watched "Bowfinger" with Steve Martin and Eddie Murphy. It's full of talented people and lots of laughs and has probably the funniest movie ending I've ever seen. I've lost count of how many times I've seen it, but it still makes me cry with laughter. Of course, I love silly movies. Keep that in mind...

But now break-time is over...Kendall and I are headed into town to shop for dorm things. Summer is almost over, once again...

Just Another Thing to Worry About...No Rain = Snakes!

...and another reason why I'm glad I live in the country where there's nothing but dirt, rocks and scraggly weeds - apparently rattlers like soft, manicured lawns...

(This is video footage from a local news station last night. Manor is just a hop, skip and slither away from us...)

Charly, Max and Frankie Lee - Best Buds

   Frankie's chirps and chattering filtered up through the trees from the direction of the pond this morning...but he never goes down to the pond without one of us, so I was a little concerned, thinking about coyotes, raccoons, and other creatures that might consider guinea a delicacy. 

    The dogs were no where to be seen, but when I called,  Max came galloping through the trees from that direction, with Frankie trotting right behind him like some misshapen shadow.  What a relief! I should have known after all this time that he's too smart to wander far without a bodyguard. I wish I'd had my camera...

    Charly was a minute or so behind them - no galloping or trotting up the hill for him anymore...but he did pick up his pace on the road when Max took off after a rabbit or something. And there went Frankie, tagging right along with them into the woods.

    I wished for my camera again a little further down the road when I heard Frankie chirping fast and loud, almost squealing. He was attacking a huge grasshopper - clamping it in his beak, tossing it, grabbing it again and repeating the sequence, all the while making all of this noise. Have you ever watched a Bruce Lee movie? Remember how noisy he is when he fights...all his grunts, chirps, and squeals? I think he learned from a guinea.

    I didn't have my camera, but watch this and imagine Bruce with a tall orange hat, a sharp hooked nose, beady black eyes and loose red..jowls...and the bad guys with long green legs, and you've got a picture of Frankie fighting that grasshopper this morning...chirping and squealing and protecting me from certain death, I'm sure.

Whew! What a Weekend! I Need a Break!

    A new week starts tomorrow - a week that is going to keep me running from 5 am Monday morning until 4:30 Friday afternoon. Not only do I have the normal weekly challenges, but we're going to go computer shopping (Kendall) and car shopping (me!) And on top of that, I've got the weekend's overflow to contend with...things I should have gotten done this weekend, but didn't because I was too busy having fun.

    It was a weekend of reunions...Friday night Tom's old boss Al had an open house at his office. For Tom it was comparable to a high school reunion. Al was one of three owners of a small engineering company - Tom's first job in Austin. It was a tight-knit bunch. For reasons I won't go into here, the group has for the most part moved on to new jobs, but thanks to Al, every six months or so they come together. One of the old bunch is a member of a band - Relentless Jones - that has performed at the last two open houses. And they rock! We stayed WAY too late - another late Friday that got me off to a late start Saturday.

 

 

    But Saturday night we had another reunion - with my high school friends...a 50th birthday celebration for our friend Leslie (it was actually in June, but we couldn't pin her down to celebrate with her until now!) at the Steiner Ranch Steakhouse - a perfect place to be on a hot Texas night...first a fabulous dinner in a cold dining room, watching the sunset, and then listening to live music under the stars on a hill overlooking the Texas hill country, soothed by a constant breeze at just the right temperature. It was hard to leave, but I was determined to get enough sleep before my alarm went off for church this morning.

 

 

    This afternoon we had another reunion...with Tommy! He had swooped in from Dallas Friday night while we were gone and snatched his little sister up for a weekend of fun in Austin and San Antonio. He's such a great big brother! (He asked Daniel, too, but he couldn't take off work.) He brought her back home early this afternoon and stuck around long enough to watch a movie with me and Tom (the Ed Norton version of "The Hulk" - actually a good movie!) and walk down to see the latest devastation at the dam with Tom: the "erosion control" blanket of grass is sliding down the hill, along with a lot of the dirt. I guess I'll be contacting authorities again this week...just another item for my "to-do" list!

 

    But right now I still feel too "up" from the weekend to feel down about it. I'll deal with that later...

The Confession

    When I was writing my last post, I wanted to link to video footage of my brother-in-law coaxing a confession from the murderer on the program "First 48." I searched and searched without luck on the program's website. Silly me..why didn't I think of checking "You Tube"? My nieces and nephews had to tell me it was there.

    This is a very condensed version of the case, and John's part is minimized considerably. But you still get a sense of the amazing job he did - he understands the Mexican culture because of his wife and he understands the concept that "you can catch more bees with honey than with vinegar" because of his mom (he says this on the full version.) 

    The whole clip takes 10 minutes and it's very interesting. But if you don't have 10 minutes, at least skip to minute 8:38 and watch my awesome, compassionate brother-in-law in action...

Weird Al + the Doors + Craig's List = Funny

    Something fun for a Saturday morning - dedicated to all of those Craig-Listers, especially Darla and my sweet Tom, who might be headed out to gather up new treasure...

"Craving Pizza" and other perks of my job

    Like any job, mine can get tedious - coming up with fresh new names can strain anyone's creativity and then staring at a computer screen for hours and hours, screening the potential new names for trademark hits, puts a definite strain on your eyes and your "sitting" muscles.

    But learning something new is always exciting to me, and I've had the opportunity to learn something new almost every day since October, when I started this gig.

    However, one of the real perks has been working with creative people like Ricky Russ, who built the new NameStormers website and edited the videos that either he or I filmed. This one for Pizza Cravers by Doritos (a name NameStormers came up with) is brand-spanking new and definitely my favorite video to date. He gets all the credit and my thanks for making me laugh!

The Battle Continues: Barbara vs. Green Screen, 1-1

    I was attacked by a Chroma-Pop Green Screen at work today - it popped me in the eye! It hurt enough that I applied ice, worried about walking into Kendall's graduation tomorrow night with a black eye.

    I was trying to fold it up to put it away in its neat little carrying case. According to the video on the website, this is a very simple procedure and only takes seconds. Two or three moves, and this 7' x 5' rectangle becomes a compact circle that slips right in to the bag.

    I've done it before, but it took more than a few seconds or a few moves...it took a lot of patience and calm, cool, confident determination. I was all out of patience and calm today, and somehow this screen sensed it - somehow it knew that my chi was off balance. It made its move while I was weak.

    It soothes my pride a little to know I'm not the only one out there who has struggled to fold these. Just watch this video to get an idea of my morning...

...in a galaxy far, far away...

    According to Mystery Man on Film, 32 years ago today, Star Wars was released in only 32 theaters. I don't remember the exact date of my first viewing - what I do remember is my brother Donnie telling me I HAD to see this movie. I think Donnie has only told me I HAD to do something twice in my life: see Star Wars and read The Lord of the Rings.

    Boy, does he know me! I ended up seeing Star Wars six or seven times that summer, first with Donnie, then dragging my boyfriend, my friend Ann, and who ever else I could get into the theater with me, and I've read The Lord of the Rings two or three times.

    What I didn't realize until I read Mystery's Man's blog post today is that when the first version of the Star Wars script emerged three years before the movie was released, it barely resembled what we saw on the screen. In fact, (and I'm quoting Mystery Man here) "The early drafts were so stunningly awful and so unlike the finished film, it's such a great reminder that any bad script has the potential to reach great heights like Star Wars."

    Oh! Those words are music to my ears! I am pumped up to get back to my screenplay...just as soon as Kendall's graduation is over, anyway.     

What Fifty SHOULD Be

    Chasing dreams, making them come true...Sacrificing your time, traveling to another country to make a real difference in someone's life...That's what two of my fellow 50-year-olds are doing right now. Me, on the other hand...well, I'm living vicariously through them thanks to Facebook and blog pictures and postings because I've spent way too many days this past month sitting in doctors' offices, filling out pages and pages of forms, being poked, prodded, scanned and dilated from one end to the other, some routinely and some not. It's just a vicious coincidence that my headaches and shingles appeared right in the middle of all of my regularly scheduled (way in advance) appointments and check-ups.

    Today I sat in a darkened "dilation" area (a dead-end hallway lined with comfortable chairs on one side and a flat-screen TV on the other), waiting for the ophthalmologist to determine whether or not the shingles had damaged my retina, and thinking about how doctors seem to be getting younger, how all of the waiting rooms, stacks of magazines and polite receptionists are blurring together, and how grateful I am that there is nothing seriously wrong with me - I realize there are people who deal with this on a daily basis for months, even years. 

    My diagnoses so far include:  excellent, normal, and A-Typical. My headaches are still a bit of a mystery, but the physical therapist and I are both convinced they are related to the shingles, which seem to be packing up their bags, preparing to move out. I'm keeping my fingers crossed we're right. Goodbye, good riddance, and PLEASE don't come back!

    Now, back to the 50-year-olds who are accomplishing more than filling out tons of paperwork about their families' medical histories...

    Richard, one of my screenplay classmates, is in Cannes, France. Even as I type this, he is over there hobnobbing with distributors and other movie-type people, trying to sell four films to foreign markets, while learning as much as he can in preparation for selling his own screenplay (Saving The Farm.) I knew I should have gotten his autograph before our last class!

    Meanwhile, Scott, a friend from high school, just arrived in Bayaha, Haiti as part of group of volunteers donating their time to help the poverty-stricken village. Scott even attended a water drilling school a few weeks ago run by Living Water International, an organization that helps bring water to villages in third world countries.

    This is what 50 should be about - dreams, sacrifice, helping others, discovering talents and gifts and passions, using them wisely, being the best you can be, inspiring others along the way. I guess we just have to learn to do all of that in between doctor's visits.

    Now watch this to learn more about the Bayaha, Haiti Project...

Swine, Dawgs, and a 'Gator

    Wouldn't you know...I go months without having to go to the doctor, and just when a pandemic is sweeping the world and the news, I get a headache that won't go away and hurts enough for me to go sit in a waiting room full of sick people? Thank goodness no one was coughing. But when I asked the doctor if they'd had any cases of swine flu, he said, Actually, yes. It's not officially confirmed yet, but no one gets the flu in May.

    Great.

    Of course, it's not like I've been wearing a mask and holing myself in the house. Saturday night we celebrated yet another 50th birthday! This time my friend Larry got serenaded on stage by the Rhythm Dawgs. His party was at the Alligator Grill in south Austin - the restaurant featured in the movie Office Space. So cool! Unlike Jennifer Aniston's character, the wait staff don't wear tons of 'flair,' but there is a HUGE alligator on the roof!

 

 

 

 

Never Give Up...Never Surrender

    There's that old saying..."an uncluttered desk is an uncluttered mind"...or something like that. It must be true because last night I stayed up late sorting through the pyramids of paper on my desk and serving bar (that's where the mail and all the extra stuff I pull out of my purse and work bag lands), sorting and tossing accordingly, and whaddaya know, at 4:15 AM (sipping my morning coffee after four hours of sleep), a lightbulb finally illuminated the maze I've been stumbling through for months as I've tried to figure out which direction my screenplay was headed. After dozens of false starts and confusing leads, it has finally clicked. Yeah, I know I've said it before, but I really believe it this time! It's like I'm standing above the maze looking down, finally seeing the path I have to take, thinking "I can't believe you couldn't figure your way out of this before!"  

    It's not a moment too soon, either. The sand in my screenwriting hourglass is getting dangerously low. I've come up with a new strategy to give me more quality time for writing - work more hours Monday through Thursday (at WORK, that is) so I have at least one big chunk of day home alone to focus on the screenplay. It's so hard to sit down at the computer each morning and start settling in with the story again, only to run out of time just when I'm getting comfy.  It takes a while for me to step in and wrap my head around the story and the characters, see where I've been and remember where I was headed. I never make much progress - many days I end up just erasing what was done the day before.

     Tom thinks I just try to do too much every day - specifically he thinks I should just quit blogging and checking Facebook or email. (Funny, he never says anything about laundry or grocery shopping or feeding the dogs or paying bills...To his credit, he helps me out with all of those and half of the cooking, too...)

    I figure it would only save me about...hmmm, an hour a day, sometimes two, if I ignored my social media addiction. Still not enough - especially since that hour is spread out into fifteen minutes increments throughout the day. Just filler time. And what he doesn't realize is that my mind is much like my desk - crap piles up and I have to sort through it, get organized, before I can focus on writing. 

    Of course, what it boils down to is I don't want to give them up. For years when the kids were small, I didn't have time for friends or writing the way I do now. My screenplay and my class are VERY important to me, but so are my friends, my extended family (I'm in better touch with them now, too), my 'journaling' and photography. If you've seen that email about the professor lecturing the students about priorities - "put the big rocks in the jar first (family, etc.) because if you fill it up with the small stuff, you won't have any room left" - imagine that some of my big rocks have gotten smaller, making room for these other big, pretty rocks I've rediscovered.

    Two other big rocks I'm hanging onto are my morning work-outs and my prayer walk with the dogs and Frankie - you gotta take care of yourself, physically, mentally, and spiritually. The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, amen.

    I have reluctantly let some things go from my routine to make way for more writing time. I gave up reading for fun ages ago, settling for boxes of books and dreams of warm afternoons, lying in the hammock on the front porch, lost in the pages of one someday. And my drums...well, I won't even claim to dust them off much anymore, much less play them.

    Recently, I resorted to watching the silly episode recaps of "Lost" on Facebook - they're annoying, but faster than watching the whole episode on the computer (I discovered the timer on our DVR doesn't work and no one is home to start it recording.) I've totally given up on "The Office" and "Desperate Housewives" (unless I time the laundry just right to fold during that time.) I'll just catch up on those this summer.

    So as difficult as it will be, and at the risk of annoying Tom, I'm determined to write this screenplay and STILL (sort of) keep up with this blog and my friends' lives on Facebook. I'm going to spend this coming weekend celebrating my birthday (again) with dozens of friends - some I haven't seen in twenty years or so. I'm going to keep working out and walking the dogs and putting in more hours at my job and avoiding late charges on our bills and emailing friends and commenting on Facebook. I probably won't post any new pictures - well, maybe new ones, but not old ones that I have to scan in first. I'm going to watch movies and read for my class. I'm going to spend time with Kendall, watch all of her soccer games, gather old photos for the senior power point presentation for her graduation (and probably cry over them.) And somehow I'm going to find time to sleep. I can do it!

"Never give up! Never surrender!" (from "Galaxy Quest" - great movie!)

The Boys Are Back - A Weekend of Cars, Guns, and Movies

    It's been a long time since I smelled that smell - "new car." The first thing I did was climb into the passenger seat of Tommy's new Hyundai Elantra and breathe in deeply. 

    I'm so happy for him - up until now he's only driven used cars...dented, peeling paint, rattling, often no air-conditioning or radio. He never complained, even in high school  when the parking lot was dotted with Hummers and brand new sports cars. We had a tough time even now talking him into getting a new one. He took his time, researched his options, and I know it was still hard for him to justify spending that much money. A car is just a car, after all.

    But I feel better knowing he's in a new car when he's stuck in Dallas traffic, or heading up to Lubbock to see Kirby, to Houston to his grandparents, or here to see us.

    (Daniel came home this weekend, too, so he could see Tommy. We had fun catching up on movies, and shooting the rifle and shotgun in the clearing across the pond in our junk yard/fire pit/basketball court/gun range clearing.  I didn't realize what a kick that shotgun had, though. It hurt my shoulder! By the way, the trashy blue car is one that was totaled twice but Tom thinks would make a good dune buggy/go-cart - project #3,327! And the horizontal metal structure is a vintage Texas windmill we plan to reconstruct...some day. )

 

 

 

 

 

With Classmates Like These...

...my screenplay will either withstand the ripping critiques and emerge an award-winner, or crawl away to the 'to-be-shredded' basket. The few pages I submitted are still way down the line on the reading list, but as they get closer and closer to the front, I'm getting a feeling similar to what it might feel like in front of a firing squad. I'll have to remember to wear a really thick skin when my turn comes and keep in mind that the criticism I receive will just make my screenplay better. But I'm tellin' ya, there is no mercy in that room. I found myself squirming last night, and it wasn't even my screenplay under the microscope.

At least the comments and critiques are coming from some voices of experience (there's CC Stinson, Amory Casto, and Tom Booker to name a few - I googled them because...well, I'm just really nosy!)  I realize more and more how lucky I am to be in this class - like a screenwriting gold mine! (see a short starring Amory here and more Tom below - see if you remember any of these commercials...)

Slumdog Millionaire

    It was a beautiful day, and I had a million other things I needed to do, but I knew I wouldn't get another chance anytime soon...so I tossed all responsibility aside and went to the movies. I expected to go alone - Tom doesn't do movie theaters, all my friends were busy, and Kendall and Daniel weren't enthusiastic about this one. But I showed them the trailer and they changed their mind.

    Since I still have those million things to do, I don't have much time for this, but I wanted to sing some praises for this movie. It has most of the qualities I love - it's original...it's entertaining...it has real characters that I cared about...flawed characters that you still like, that redeem themselves in some way...it opens a window to a world and culture I knew nothing about...it had moments that broke my heart (not that I love to have my heart broken, but I do want to have strong emotions - I want to care)...ah, I'd write more, but it would be giving the movie away. Suffice it to say, I really, really liked this movie. And judging from the applause at the end of it, in a full theater that normally shows limited run/artsy movies, everyone else liked it, too.

    Here's the trailer in case, like many,  you haven't even heard of it...

A Priority Problem

    I've procrastinated registering for the spring semester, and this is why: the advanced screenwriting class (which I should take so these first few pages don't just turn into dust, untouched and neglected) is an actual physical class, on a campus with traffic issues, parking issues, desks, as well as a teacher and classmates with faces.

    Well, that in itself isn't a problem. Despite the lack of flexibility and extra time required for traveling, I like the feel of a classroom...the camaraderie, the discipline, carrying my books and taking notes. I know. I'm weird.

    The problem is the class meets one night a week, and that night is Wednesday.

    Wednesdays = "Lost"

    And therein lies my dilemma. It's really pretty sad, isn't it? No WONDER I haven't had anything published in a while.

    Of course, now that I've confessed, I recognize that the scales aren't really evenly balanced - this isn't a decision crisis after all. Watching all the "Lost" episodes isn't on my list of personal goals, but finishing this screenplay is, so NATCH!...for the next few months, Wednesdays = screenplay class, not "Lost."

    (They do run the episodes online, don't they?)

Day 2 - Rambling

    How quickly resolutions can dissolve once the real world - like work - makes its appearance. I won't go through a boring list of what I did or didn't get done today. Let's just say it's a good thing I resolved to be flexible and not stress about it...too much, anyway. Work is both a necessity and a blessing, so I'm not about to whine or complain about it...

    Kendall was watching "Schindler's List" when I got home, and I sat and watched a little of it with her. It illustrates both ends of the human spectrum - that we're capable of so much evil AND so much good. I love the end of it, when the actual people whose lives Schindler saved honor his memory by placing stones on his grave - such a great image of the impact his actions had on so many lives.   

    Good news, though...if you're feeling depressed because you've already broken your New Year's Resolutions, eat a banana! Seriously! Among other benefits, they are supposed to help you think happier thoughts, according to Dr. Mehmet Oz of Real Age. Read about the happy banana here.

    Ah, tomorrow is Saturday...I have a long to-do list which includes a trip to the grocery store, packing up the Christmas colors, and registering for the spring semester. And Kendall wants to get started on the FAFSA (Free Application for Federal Student Aid) - UGH! It's something I tend to put at the top of my procrastination list, despite its importance, so I'm glad she's full of zeal about it. I just wish she could do it by herself!

    

"In Bruges" and Tending the Garden

    Tommy's back in Dallas. He drove Tom's little Capris. While he was here, we ate and ate and ate some more - Tom smoked a turkey, and I made a double batch of cyclops cookies. They're already gone!

    Santa paid a special return visit and filled our stockings. One of my gifts was the movie "In Bruges" that I had read about on Mystery Man's blog - some readers had commented that it was the best film of the year, and I hate to admit it, but I hadn't even heard of it. I have to agree that it was one of the best movies I've seen in a long time - overall it's a tragedy and there are some graphic scenes, but it's also a little funny, and very touching. The characters are rounded out and original, all of the parts add to the story, no cliche's...anyway, I recommend it.

    Last night the house was filled with laughter. Two of Tommy's best friends since elementary school -  Graham and Jordi - came by and they were downstairs watching something that elicited crying laughter - I could hear the tears in the guffaws and hoots and gasps for air. It's hard to believe they're adults now - where has the time gone? - but Graham graduated from Texas A&M Galveston with a degree in Marine Engineering Technology and a Third Assistant Engineer License in the U.S. Merchant Marine this past May (on the same day and at the same time as Tommy was graduting from the University of North Texas!) and he's been working as an engineer on ships since then. He was heading out this morning for another cruise.

    And Jordi also graduated in May from Stanford with a BA in "Psychology with a Specialization in International Political Economy" and an extra BA in International Relations. (During spring break of their freshman year, Tommy, Graham and a few other friends visited Jordi at Stanford, taking a train to San Francisco, and a side trip to the Emergency Room after Tommy cut his shin open "jumping a fountain." I didn't even know about it until he was back home. Kids!)

    I'm so glad they've kept their friendships alive, despite being at different colleges and moving in different directions. I have lots of friendships from my school days - some that I've held on to this whole time. Others have been rediscovered, especially since our last high school reunion. But a few have slipped out of reach, and I'm not sure why. It seems that sometimes even those you've held on to for decades aren't safe. I've read that friendships have to be tended like a garden, and I know during those years when my kids were young, I wasn't always a very good gardener. Now I feel like Mary in The Secret Garden, trying to dig around and find the plants that are still alive and nurture them back to health. It's sad when you find those that are too far gone to revive.

    I hope Tommy, Graham, Jordi, and the others he was close to don't allow that to happen to them.

Tommy with Jordi and Graham, high school graduation...

 

Celebrating Christmas

Christmas Day around here was lazy - centered around family and food. LOTS of food!

We always have a traditional, heart-attack-waiting-to-happen breakfast on Christmas morning - bacon, fried eggs, and buttered toast. I ate so much that I still wasn't very hungry when Christmas dinner rolled around:  non-traditional smoked brisket, chicken, and sausage.

Of course, that might have been due to the chocolate chip cookies I baked (and ate) before dinner. Those were mainly for TG, because after dinner I made cyclops cookies - the ones the rest of us are addicted to but she can't eat because of the peanut butter. 

Our kitchen island was already laden with gift cookies from friends, and some gingerbread people I couldn't pass up at the store earlier this week (that's another odd thing I blame on menopause...until this year I wouldn't have looked twice at store-bought gingerbread - this year I couldn't resist them!)

 

 

 

We spent a lot of time on the phone talking to family - understandable considering Tommy couldn't be here and Tom has eight brothers, scattered around the country. I was on the phone two or three times with my family alone!

Here's a picture of my three kids "together" on Christmas day. 

 

Tom and I took a walk to work off some of the food. Santa brought me the zoom lens I wanted, so we played around with it. I finally captured Max's goofiness and Tom took some of me (hopefully not looking QUITE as goofy as Max. It looks more like summer than Christmas day, doesn't it?)

 

 

In the afternoon, Daniel and I watched a very different Santa Claus movie from around 1959. Brenda had remembered taking me to the Capitan just before Christmas for several years to watch it when we were younger. This summer she googled "Santa, devil, and Merlin" and Poof! there it was.  

It didn't ring a bell when she first told me about it, but while I watched it, suddenly some parts were VERY familiar - the memories had been hidden in some recess of my mind, buried under all kinds of other odds and ends. 

It was fun digging them out and brushing them off after so many years. And I realize even more how lucky I am to have a sister like Brenda...she must have really loved me to sit through that movie every year! (She was old enough to realize how corny it was!)

Later, Tom and I watched "A Christmas Story". I don't think that one needs any explaining, but just in case..."You'll shoot your eye out!"

 

 

I ran today while watching "Mama Mia". I couldn't get anyone in my family to watch it with me! We watched "The Dark Knight" again recently, and I've decided I prefer "MamaMia" - it just makes me smile so much!

Tom is in Dallas right now, fetching Tommy and his car. They've got it on the trailer and are preparing to pull out. I'll be praying a lot in the next few hours. I think I'll go finish watching "Mama Mia" - maybe it'll keep my mind off of them.

Tomorrow (well, maybe Sunday), tune in for "Christmas Celebration Part 2: Tommy's Home"...

 

 

Whew! Twenty Down...Just a Hundred to Go

    It's done. As of 9pm tonight, I completed twenty pages of my first screenplay ever. Next time you go see a movie, never EVER think writing it would be easy. I know, after this semester, I'll never see a movie with the same eyes as I did before.

    Writing this screenplay is something I've dreamed of since I first read my great-great grandfather's memoir years ago. And yet here I was, procrastinating once again. Is there no hope for me?

    I'm still not finished with the class, however. I have to deliver my portfolio, consisting of a hard copy of these precious twenty pages, a complete outline of my screenplay, and a 300 word reflective essay on what I learned this semester ("I learned not to put it off to the last week..." - but would that be completely honest? I'm starting to wonder if I'll EVER learn not to procrastinate!) to my teacher's mailbox downtown Friday morning. I would do it tomorrow, but I'm just not up to writing that essay tonight! (ah, still procrastinating...see?)

    Next semester I'm SERIOUSLY considering taking Advanced Screenwriting. That might seem like a 'duh' statement, but the glitch is it's not an online course. I'd actually have to drive into Austin to one of the campuses, sit in a classroom for several hours, etc...I've gotten so spoiled with these online courses. This semester the online course is Poetry, which I'd love to take. Another class I'm thinking of is photography, but it's another actual "roll call" class, so it's lower on the list than the other two. I'm afraid that if I don't take the next screenwriting class, I'll NEVER have more than twenty completed pages. It will sit in my computer, symbolically gathering dust, like all of my other long writing projects (and even some short ones!)

    I really need to finish SOMETHING! And I would love for this to be that something.

Just Taking a Little Break...

    Well, I made progress...not as much as I would have liked, but I have a teensy idea of an outline - the scene I should start with and how it will all work out. The problem is there is SO MUCH MATERIAL!! Now I'm thinking it would have been best to turn this into a novel first, but that doesn't really matter right now. What matters is pulling it all into a screenplay in the next couple of days - or at least a part of it - dividing it into three acts, pinpointing the turning points, mid-point, barriers, reversals, climax, resolution, etc. It's easier for me to think of this process of writing it in those terms - first act: outlining; second act: writing it; third act: turning it in (in just a few days!) Some of the barriers: work, family, sleep, laundry, food.

    Okay, also keeping up with this blog, watching "The Office" and "Desperate Housewives", shopping...And then tonight is the church adult Christmas party - since we're Catholic, that means eating, drinking, and dancing, so I'll be too worn out to write when I get home, I'm sure.

    But at least I'm through the first act - the outline. I think the turning point of this second act will be producing the FIRST page! That will DEFINITELY take place today (right after I write this, and eat lunch. I will ignore the overflowing hampers, the bare Christmas tree, and boxes of Christmas decorations stacked around me.)

    Yesterday I took a walk with Tom and the dogs to clear my brain. It was a gorgeous day. Frankie opted to stay home and guard the house, but he walked with us as far as the 'parking lot.' 

    We walked up a nearby hill to check on progress of our neighborhood mystery house. It's built high on the hill but doesn't appear to be built in a way to admire the view - a telephone pole was put right in the way. Rumor has it it's going to be completely underground and have a shooting gallery inside somewhere, but we can't figure out where it would go. There's been no work done on it in awhile - I guess the recession shut it down.

 

    When we got home, Tom left the door open for me, but Frankie got in first and scurried around, checking everything out. He started down the stairs, but I coaxed him back up and out the door. No poop, thank goodness! Hmmm...are there such things as house guineas?

Pushing Up My Sleeves...

    It's time to get serious. (Well, passed time, but it's too late to dwell on past mistakes.) This weekend I'm writing at least twenty pages of screenplay, come hell or high water. I have to - they're due this week and it's obvious I don't have enough self-discipline time during the week to work on it.

    I've already warned Kendall and Tom that I'm not doing anything else, except eating, going to church, and POSSIBLY showering. In just a few minutes, I'm heading into the guest room/junk room/future library, and clearing out a space for Tom to set up a makeshift desk (a door supported by sawhorses) so I can spread all of my stuff out - notecards, the memoir, genealogy notes, Civil War books, etc. - and just leave them there till I finish. I've also claimed first dibs on the computer, which is just outside the "library" door. (Maybe Santa will bring me a laptop so I can REALLY  lock myself away in there to write.)

    That being said, I won't actually get crackin' on it until tomorrow morning. Tonight I'm going up to the high school to watch the drama department's Fall Production. I subbed for those classes and it's always fun to see how the kids pull it together by performance time. 

   When I get home, I'll probably watch a movie with Tom - but of course, if you think about it, that's really just a warm-up exercise for my actual writing tomorrow - a review of what I've learned this semester. Not another distraction or procrastination or anything.

    Wish me luck (and self-discipline and inspiration.) OBVIOUSLY I'm going to need it.

El Capitan of Pasadena

    Imagine rich, red velvet draperies and settees...gold and gilt...paintings and statues. That was the Capitan Theater - the place to be on Saturday mornings. It's where I fell in love with Elvis singing Viva Las Vegas and where the original Children of the Corn chased me into the lobby. I was too young to make out with a boyfriend in the cryroom in the back corner of the balcony, but old enough to know it was going on.

    The Capitan couldn't compete with the new theaters popping up in town - it shut its doors before I hit junior high, but then opened briefly again in the 70's with this neon green paint. I watched "Frogs, Frogs, Frogs" from the balcony, but couldn't help noticing the threadbare seats and sticky floors. It closed again soon afterwards.

    Rumors of re-invention have flown over the years - it was going to open as a disco...a dinner theater...but I don't think any of them panned out. Now it sits alone, looking much the same from the outside (definitely not the inside, though) as it does in my memory, but who knows for how long? So while I was back in Pasadena for Thanksgiving, Daddy and I drove over to take some pictures. I hope someday someone cares enough - and has enough money - to fix it up to its former glamorous glory...but I know it's more likely to be torn down. At least I'll have these photos...and my memories.

    If I ever get rich, I'll give a lot to charity, but I'll just have to spend a little on El Capitan...if it's not too late.

    

 

I couldn't help taking this one of Daddy - I've always been able to count on him to go with me on my crazy whims - it's fun to share them with him. This time, I think it was mostly to make sure I wasn't arrested for taking pictures of my old chemical plant (I wasn't...those photos will come later...)

Matewan Revisited and Another Saturday

    Last Saturday, I slept until 11am and got nothing else done. That was okay. But this week my to-do lists are weighing heavier and heavier on my shoulders. I'm sinking...DROWNING...

    So this Saturday I'm kicking into high gear, pencil out, ready to start scratching things off and burning the lists.  Heck, I'm so pumped, I didn't even wait until today. I skipped job #2 yesterday and got started early. This feeling doesn't come around that often (for the mundane little details that start filling in space on my lists...those things that don't have deadlines and so keep getting shuffled from one list to the next until I feel that if I have to write them one more time I'm going to SCREAM...) so I have to take advantage of it when it hits. I had been trying to decide whether to drive to Florence for the high school football game - the band got to dress in their costumes - or go to a friend's Halloween party/bonfire. I was leaning toward the party, but Tom came home wiped out and went to bed.  So I just kept working on my list...

    I was so energized, I even tried watching Matewan again last night (I need to return it to Netflix before they send a cop around,) armed with a big bowl of popcorn to keep me awake. But...once the popcorn was gone, that foggy feeling hit me and I gave up.

    This morning I feel revved up again about attacking the list.  It helped that Kendall had to be up early to take the SAT Math Subject test.  Now it's not even 10 am and my list is already considerably shorter. Some of these things don't really take very long to do...it's the getting started part that's tough for me.

    Today is it, though. Looking at the calendar, it will be awhile before I have another big chunk of empty, unscheduled time. Tonight I get to go with Kendall's History Club on the Austin Ghost Tour! I'm SO excited about that! I love history...especially odd, personal history that I'm sure we'll hear about tonight. Maybe even something I can use in my screenplay.

    Tomorrow morning I'll be back downtown bright and early for the Susan B. Komen Race for the Cure - a VERY good cause, but I wish it wasn't so early in the morning. I hate missing church.

    Then, fingers crossed, back downtown AGAIN in the afternoon for the Texas Book Festival.

    Next weekend is another History Club field trip to Houston for the Renaissance Festival, and, I'm hoping, a visit to my parents (just us, not the whole History Club. My parents aren't THAT old!) Then the next weekend is Kendall's CAYSA tournament - two full days of soccer. Then Thanksgiving, Tommy's birthday, Christmas, New Years's...WHOA, SLOW DOWN!  I'm not ready for 2009. I still have too much to do in 2008.

    I guess I better get started...

    

Happy Halloween from Mr. and Mrs. Smith

 

 

Okay, I can't help it. I still think Tommy and Kirby as Mr. and Mrs. Smith (aka Branjelina) a couple of years ago is one of my all-time favorite couple-costumes. I just had to share the photos....

Happy Halloween again!!

 

Flight of the Conchords and Extreme Cookies and Cream

    

     It's only Wednesday, but these last few days have been so long and hectic that Sunday seems like years ago. That's when I took my own advice about slowing down... I spent a few hours with Daniel doing nothing but laugh at his new Flight of the Conchords Season 1 DVD (his birthday present) and eat ice cream cake (which should be named Extreme Cookies and Cream because there's not really any cake involved - just neopolitan ice cream, Oreos, chocolate syrup, and Cool Whip.)

     Okay, that's not exactly true...the part about doing nothing else, anyway (the cake part is true)...we'd watch an episode, then I'd get up and "accomplish" something...laundry, cleaning off my desk, or something...then we'd watch another one. It's the closest I can come to being a couch potato. But we watched six or seven episodes over the weekend, and by the last one Sunday night, I knew I'd be going through withdrawals...they are so funny! It makes me wish I had HBO. I'm going to miss Bret and Jermaine.

sleeping in class

     Last week I fell asleep watching "To Kill a Mockingbird."  This week our assignment was "Rear Window"  and "The Graduate." I had "Rear Window" on VHS - Wednesday night I finished up my chores and settled down to watch it at 9pm. At 10pm, Tom was shaking me awake.

    I ordered "The Graduate" from Amazon, but it hasn't come in yet. I've seen it before, though. My sister took me and my brother Donnie to see it at the LaPorte Drive-In when I was in third grade. Give her a break - she was only about seventeen at the time - she didn't know any better. Tom and I watched it again a few years ago and I couldn't believe I'd seen it when I was just nine! But it is a good movie.

   I signed up for Netflix and ordered "Matewan," the movie made of gold. Tom and I watched it tonight. I thought I'd be able to stay awake because I'd never seen it, but from the opening credits I knew I was doomed - my kids performed in the play "Fire in the Hole" which is very much like this movie - right down to lines and characters and plots. Sure enough, before too long Tom was shaking me..."Are you asleep?!"

   Now I've got twenty minutes to turn in my assignment. That's what I get for dropping out thirty years ago, but at least I'm trying now! I just wish I could stay awake...

Movie made of gold?

     I fell asleep last night doing my homework - I was watching "To Kill a Mockingbird."  I love that movie - it's one of my top three favorites (along with Monty Python's "Search for the Holy Grail" and "Mary Poppins" - what a combo, right?) I only fell asleep because I'm exhausted from trying to get everything done so I can run off to the coast this weekend to relax. Hmmm...

    Anyway, back to Mockingbird...I first watched it in third grade when I was a tomboy and had a haircut just like Scout's and a big brother just like Jem, except mine didn't let me tag along like Jem does Scout. I envied her that, as well as her front porch, porch swing, tire swing, and tree house. I loved the idea of a mysterious guardian watching over me, prepared to save my life and leaving me trinkets in the knothole of a tree. In fact, I filled a cigar box with trinkets much like theirs, but who knows where I gathered them up from.

    Even when I was little, I loved the messages of nonviolence and tolerance in the movie, that you shouldn't judge someone, that you should try to imagine what it's like walking around in their skin or seeing the world from their front porch. Atticus Finch made a big impression on me. I'm surprised I never wanted to be a lawyer.

   I "had" to watch Harrison Ford in "Witness" this weekend, and I "had" to order some other movies from Amazon - required viewing, you see. This screenwriting class doesn't feel like school at all, except for the deadlines. It's just giving me a good excuse to buy and watch movies, research more about my great-great grandfather's life and times, and start fleshing out the memoir he wrote back in 1901 that I want to turn into a screenplay...things I enjoy doing and have been wanting to devote more time to for years, but let that GUILT thing stop me. Now, I have to do it. It's school.

   One of the things I've learned from this class is that there exists an elusive movie, apparently made of gold, that I had never heard of before: "Matewan." You won't find it in any ordinary video store - only artsy ones, the kind with weird names that are near college campuses miles from your home. Amazon has it, but for what it costs, you could get ten other movies or a very nice pair of shoes, and the ones for sale on Ebay come from Australia and won't play in a normal USA DVD player. Figures. I'll continue searching for it. Wish me luck. It must be really good!

Thinking of a "Bucket List"

     Tom and I finally got around to watching "The Bucket List" Saturday night. Yeah, I know we're a little behind the times, but that's nothing new.

     I thought the movie was a tad contrived, predictable, and corny in places, but the overall theme is a good one to set you thinking about what you would like to do before you "kick the bucket." 

     A season or two ago Ellen DeGeneres promoted "life lists" - more or less the same thing, but with an optimistic spin to it that I like ("life" versus "kick the bucket" - don't you agree?) She inspired me to jot a few things down; I had forgotten about my list until I watched this movie, and had to dig through several folders on my computer to find it.

    I was actually able to scratch a few things off!  What a great feeling because day after day I feel like I'm running as fast as I can without getting anywhere. Seeing a handful crossed out makes me hopeful that I can cross off a few more before I kick the bucket in my lifetime.

     So here's my list...I've added a few things to it; I don't include things like "laugh till I cry", "make a difference in someone's life," or "witness something spectacular" like the list in the movie - those are daily goals for me, not life goals...

     Wish me luck, and good luck on your own list!

1. start back to college
2. get a set of drums  (Happy Anniversary from Tom a few years ago)
3. learn to play the drums
4. have varicose vein surgery (a birthday present to myself)
5. get my Bachelor's degree
6. visit Stonehenge
7. go back to Venice and ride in a gondola
8. visit Ireland, England, and Germany with Tom (where the Shallue's came from, where Tom was born, and where he lived until he was about seven)
9. go to Disneyworld (I'm one of only a handful of adults who have never been!)
10. trace each family line out of America and write their stories
11. finish writing my book Winston and have it published
12. see the Giant Redwood Forest
13. visit New York City (I've been in London, Paris, Rome, Florence, Venice, Innsbruck and Madrid...but not NYC!)
14. help each of our kids get through college (Tommy, Daniel, Kendall)
15. finish our house
16. visit a pyramid
17. go to Hawaii
18. visit Kodiak, Alaska (and the rest of it while we're there) with Tom (he was stationed there in the Coast Guard in the late '70's)
19. ride the Hill Country Flyer  (Happy Birthday from Tom last year)
20. write my screenplays (two ideas I have so far)
21. become an expert on (or at least learn more about) my Nikon camera
22. see my book collection filling bookshelves rather than boxes

Popcorn mania

     Six hours munching popcorn, laughing, crying, gripping my armrail. What a way to spend a hot summer evening, a flashback to watching "The Cowboys" with John Wayne twice in a row with Gina Clark - we wanted to drool over the badboy Cimarron (played by actor A. Marinez - we watched for the credits) one more time.

     I loved "Mama Mia." I thought it would be a fun movie, but it was hilarious at times and had me wiping tears off my cheeks at others. But I'm no movie critic...I realize I connected to this movie because it's about women my age having fun and acting crazy, who feel like they are still eighteen on the inside and wonder what the hell happened to them on the outside. It's about friendship and motherhood, specifically, children (specifically daughters) growing up and preparing to leave home. And it didn't hurt that in this movie Meryl Streep looked just like my friend Cheryl, from her long blonde hair to the silver pinkie rings and dangly bracelets.

    "The Dark Knight" wasn't like night and day to "Mama Mia" like I thought it would be. It, too, was about love, friendship, and the good side of human nature...it was just intermingled with huge explosions and lots of people dying rather than the music of ABBA and dancing. It broke my heart seeing Heath Ledger, but he did such a great job playing the Joker that I kept hoping they would kill him - the ultimate bad guy.

    I recommend them both, especially if you are a middle-aged woman who still feels like eighteen on the inside, have older kids, like huge explosions and believe in the goodness of human nature. If you like really artsy or depressing movies, don't see either one.