Long Hollow

2023 Part 1 - “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..."

 

"...it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair."

~ Charles Dickens

If ever there was a year of ups and downs, it was 2023.

We lost too many loved ones, and yet also experienced amazing new adventures and made memories to treasure forever.

David was Tom's best friend. He was his roommate and the Best Man at our wedding, and an amazing dancer. He took some of the first photos of us together that are still the best. His passing in January came as a surprise. But I'm grateful he gave us a goodbye call days before, which gave me the chance to tell him how much he meant to me. A priceless gift. 

 

 

 

Paul and Vanita were one of my favorite couples in our church - - always joyful, with just the right spark of mischief in their eyes. They had suffered a fair share of health issues over the past few years - only to be expected in your 80's and 90's, though. 

A few years ago they asked me to come by for a visit. They told me that when one of them passed, they wanted to sell the house, and they wanted me to list it for them. I agreed to do it, but told them  "Let's not be in a hurry."

Thank goodness it wasn't until January that Paul's health went downhill. I was able to visit him in their house and promised him I would do a good job selling the house. 

Vanita moved into an assisted living community in a neighboring town. My friend Karen and I visited and Vanita gave us a tour. I really didn't think that would be the last time I saw her - Karen and I were planning our next trip when I got news that Vanita had passed. 

 

Before March ended, we said goodbye to my wonderful mother-in-law. She had been battling health issues but was still able to live at home, thanks to the help of one of her sons and his wife who lived nearby, and also because each of her other 8 sons took turns staying with her for two or three weeks at a time.

What a testament to this amazing woman! 

 

In April we gathered with Tom's brothers and their families to honor her and her legacy. 

 

But there were also some joyful moments scattered throughout the year.

In January, the grandsons came over for a campout. It made me so happy when they started playing Candyland with me. My favorite!

 

In February, we experienced an ice storm. I enjoyed walking with Belle and my camera, capturing the magic that ice can wield on a landscape. 

I flew to Anaheim for our annual Keller Williams Realty "Family Reunion" convention. 

 

And we had fun with grandkids. My oldest grandson took the first photo. He is a natural!

In March,  I enjoyed visits with my daughter, son-in-law and my grandpuppies. They love to run and play with Belle and be country dogs for a little while.  

 

I welcomed the first bluebonnets and enjoyed the wonder of their beauty with my grandsons. 

 

In April, I celebrated my 64th birthday.

 

I took several trips to Houston visiting my sister, and on one of them, I stopped on the way to visit my friends/past clients in their antique store in Paige, Texas. (Broadway Paul's - you should go check it out!) I'm happy I help them move on to this dream by selling their house in Lago Vista!

At our KW market center awards ceremony that month, I found out I was #2 Individual Agent in our office for the previous year!

 

And we had more fun with grandkids. A campout, a small fire and S'Mores! And Monster Jam! 

In May, I had another visit with my sister. Some long time friends also paid her a visit, which meant to much to both of us. 

 

I enjoyed lunch with my awesome assistant and my transaction manager - a way overdo thank you to them!

 

I have been a Steve Martin and Martin Short fan for decades, so I couldn't pass up buying tickets to see them in person. No photos allowed during the show - this is the best I could do to capture the memory. 

 

We celebrated Tom's birthday at a new (to us) restaurant in Georgetown, TX with my daughter and son-in-law. 

 

And we also celebrated my granddaughter's 1st birthday! Growing too fast!

 

It is rare to get a still photo of my grandpuppies. These turned out so good! 

 

It is hard for me to believe it now, but our pond was full of water in May of 2023. The boys enjoyed canoeing. 

 

That was just a year and a half ago! We entered a drought soon after this and the pond is now completely dry. Please pray for rain!

(Stay tuned for 2023 Part 2, and thanks for taking a trip back in time with me, if you made it this far!)

We do not remember days, we remember moments.

~Cesare Pavese

And I remember moments through photographs!

10 Things I Learned from Father Raj

 

 

Our small parish had the same priest for about the first 20 years that we lived here. Father Joe founded the church, first holding Mass at a campground on Lake Travis. By the time he retired (in his 80's) the current church had been built, expanded, and a parish activity center built. Also, I had become a Catholic! 

You can imagine how tough it must have been for the 2nd priest, Father Don, following in Father Joe's footsteps. He instituted quite a few changes in his 8 years as our priest before he, too, retired (in his 60's). Some people were happy with the changes, but some were not, of course. You just can't please everyone, and change is hard when you've become set in your ways. And we were all pretty set in our ways. 

Father Raj was our next priest. Several decades ago, he had come to America from Tamil Nadu in India, where he grew up in a large Catholic family. His sister is a nun in the Missionaries of Charity, the order started by Saint Teresa of Calcutta. Father Raj once gave communion to Saint Teresa. 

He came in with a "watch and see" attitude, not making huge changes but tweaking here and there, and only making big changes after much thought. He was calm and funny (he started every homily with a corny joke) but also confident and determined. 

He also had a giving spirit, personally starting and running several charities in India, including a home for the elderly. 

We were fortunate that he was our priest during COVID. With some parishioners' help, he started recording Mass live so we could watch at home. He remained positive and hopeful, which helped us remain that way, too. When we were able to return to church, he enforced rules that would keep us safe. 

The plans we had for removing the decades-old carpet and replacing old chairs with pews had been put on hold during the pandemic, but as things started opening up and we thought it was behind us, he began moving in that direction again. 

So it was such a surprise when he announced he would be leaving us for another parish after only 3 years at ours! It didn't seem fair to him or us, but having a true servant's heart, he accepted it as the will of God and helped us accept it, too. He said he would miss us because we were such a peaceful parish. I told him we really weren't - he was the peace in our parish. 

We threw him a big party before he left to thank him for all he did in his short time we were blessed to have him. I shared the "Top 10 Things I Learned from Father Raj" at the dinner. When I was asked for a copy of them afterward, I decided I would just write them here and share them with everyone, because I think they are lessons we can all use. 

So here they are....

1. Listen for God's voice and step out in faith
2. Be the calm in the storm
3. Maintain joy in all circumstances
4. Don't let others steal your joy
5. Lead by example
6. Look to scripture and the lives of the saints for guidance
7. Be humble
8. Be available when others need you
9. We are a family working together for a common goal and purpose
10. Life is wonderful - focus on the good, be hopeful, and make a difference in the world. 

 

 

My grandmother once told me that the key to survival is flexibility. She lived well into her 90's and always had a playful, joyful spirit, so she knew what she was talking about. We now have a new priest - Father Ed. He has already made some changes, but I feel he is probably just what we need at this time. God has a way of knowing, doesn't he?

As we slip back into our masks and social-distancing, I pray that each of you stays flexible, safe, healthy, and hopeful.

Be the peace in this constantly changing world.

 

 "The only constant in life is change."

~Heraclitus

This is where it starts (thoughts on Memorial Day)

This is a repost originally published on my other blog almost 5 years ago. I was thinking about it this morning and felt it was a fitting tribute to those we are remembering on Memorial Day. I'm proud to say this young Airman is now my son-in-law. 

 

I was honored to attend the Air Force Boot Camp graduation last weekend of my daughter's boyfriend. It was two days of ceremonies plus leave, then two days of leave.

A lot of time to be away from home and my business, but who knows when they'll see each other again?

 

The actual Graduation Day fell on September 11.

 

 

 

It was a reminder that there are a lot of people working hard to ensure the freedoms we enjoy and take for granted every day. 

 

 

 

And for some reason, every day more young men and women sign up to do it, even though they don't get paid much, they are ordered around, and have to pay for things they are required to have. 

 

 

 

Most of us would raise hell if that happened in our jobs. 

 

 

 

They just feel it's an honor to serve.

 

 

 

Very humbling.

 

 

 

All I can offer are photos. 

 

The drummers caught my eye, of course.

 

 

 

 

 

 

These two young men fulfilled their requirements to become United States citizens while also performing the challenges of boot camp. 

They were sworn in during the ceremonies of the first day. 

A wonderful thing to witness!

 

 

 

 

 

Each new airman was awarded a coin to commemorate the end of boot camp. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After the ceremony, the airmen had to remain standing at attention until they were tapped out by a friend or family member. 

 

 

 

 

 

On the second day, they donned their blues and hit the parade ground for the graduation ceremony. 

 

 

 

 

 

It is often a life of separation from loved ones, for loved ones. 

Kisses and hugs aren't taken for granted. 

 

 

 

 

 

My prayers and gratitude go with them all!

 

 

 

The Home of the Brave

I was lucky to be a child of the late '70's, which means none of my contemporaries had to serve during time of war or in a war zone. While many of them volunteered, and there is never any guarantee that a war won't break out on any given day, their service was focused on preserving peace. On protecting us.

My oldest brother volunteered for Viet Nam twice, but I was too young to understand the danger or the effect it had on him. 

I'm older now, and while still experiencing it mostly second-hand, I understand a little better about the sacrifice and the effects of deployment in war zones through my son-in-law's service in the Air Force, as well as clients of mine who have served. It makes me marvel even more at the apparent ease of that many war-time veterans experienced when stepping back into civilian life after witnessing death and destruction. 

In gratitude to all of you who have served, or who continue to serve, here's my annual tribute about my own favorite veterans. All too often we take your service and sacrifices for granted. Thanks for serving anyway. 

 

"Lord, if your people need me, I will not refuse the work. Your will be done."

~St. Martin of Tours

 

.

 

My dad was in high school when the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor. He joined the Navy soon after high school graduation because his country was at war and "it was the thing to do." 

In the next twenty-two months he traveled a long way from Texas aboard the U.S.S. Geneva...to places like the Philippines, the Marshall Islands, China, Burma, Japan.

Before he turned twenty, he had seen cities that had been destroyed by war and piles of dead bodies waiting to be buried. 

A few years later, his little brother Bobby followed his lead and joined the Navy, and many years later, so did my brother Donnie and two nephews.

 

Pop, my wonderful father-in-law, missed out on World War II, but joined the Air Force in time for the Korean War. He worked base supply in Okinawa, supporting bombers flying missions to Korea...about 100 aircraft every day.

He re-enlisted, got married, and hopped around the globe...living in England, Germany, and over a year in Pakistan, separated from his family (the other heroes - Mom had 8 teenage and younger boys to deal with by herself!)...visiting a dozen other countries...eventually staying put for awhile in Maryland, working with NSA (and a second job at the bowling alley to make ends meet), until his retirement.

A lifetime of service and sacrifice for this country.

 

My husband Tom was raised in that military family. For him it was normal to move every few years to someplace completely different...by the time he was eight or nine years old, he had lived in three countries!

He grew up on a tight budget ... hand-me-downs, powdered milk and only two cookies a day...period! And yet as soon as he could, he joined the service...the Coast Guard. Among other things, he helped rescue fisherman off the coast of Alaska.

Four of his brothers also joined the service (three career Air Force, just like their dad, and another Coast Guard) and the youngest joined the Army Reserves. Now the next generation is following in their footsteps: two Air Force and one Coast Guard, plus numerous cousins, nieces, and nephews who serve. 

 

 

My big brother Buster was headed to Viet Nam, saying his goodbyes, when I stood beside him in this photograph and smiled. I had no idea what was ahead of him. This was probably taken before his first tour of duty and so he had only a vague idea himself what to expect.

When he volunteered for his second tour, however, he knew full well what he was stepping into...but he did it anyway...

...like so many before him did, and many after him continue to do... like my son-in-law. He followed in the footsteps of his parents, who were both in the military. I know it's tough, living with so many unknowns, but it's a calling. 

 

To him and all of the Veterans - and their families -  I give thanks... for their determination,  their sacrifice, and their bravery.

 

 

 

 

 

"This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave."

 ~Elmer Davis

Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and a bunch of sweet!s

 

 

The sky put on a grand finale sunset outside my window as I started reflecting on this past year.  However, it doesn't take a lot of reflection to know that 2018 will go down in history as one of my favorite years.

It's the year I became a grandmother! 

 

Watching Little C grow month to month has been an absolute joy.

I gave birth myself in 2018, in a sense. I formed a real estate team!  The Shallue Property Group. It's still in its infancy right now... just me and one other agent, Amanda, who is very sharp. Stepping out into this unknown territory was less scary knowing she would be by my side. 

In 2018 I also experienced my first trip to California, met and helped many new clients, and had some great visits and memories made with friends and family. I began my "60 by 60" list and made a lot of progress on it, although I need to become really intentional to hit #60 by my 60th birthday in April.  

Just more to look forward to in this new year!

Before I get too far ahead of myself, there are some sweet!s  since my last post that I want to remember...

 

 My daughter-in-law knows how to celebrate her birthday. She hosts a birthday fiesta every year... 

 

She knows how to throw a great party, while remaining very practical about the realities of parenthood!

 

 We celebrated Thanksgiving in Florida...

 

 

So many sweet! moments in one short week. ... Little C meeting his great-grandma Shallue for the first time ... numerous cribbage battles and games of 3-13 ... Little C 's first trip to the beach and to McGuires (where I had my first taste of shepherd's pie!) ... finding exactly what I needed while exploring  junk and antique shops with my sister-in-law ... and lots of down time, just hanging out and playing with the baby. 

Speaking of babies... my oldest turned 33 in December...

I was already proud of the man he has grown into, but watching him in his role as father just makes my heart soar. 

 

(But seriously ... wasn't this just yesterday?)

 

Babysitting this precious baby boy is a joy I can't explain ... 

 

 

We read good books and have some great conversations!

The real estate business is still hot in the Austin area and I'm grateful for all of my clients. I had several closings since my last post, including the first unit to close in the new 5th & West hi-rise complex.

Closings always land on the sweet! list...

 

Mozart's Christmas Light Show has become an Austin tradition and I finally experienced it. Having my son go with me made it extra sweet! (So did the coffee and the hot chocolate! It was a cold night!)

 

 

My word for 2019 is Joy, so I need to find a headband like my friend Ellie wore to this fun party...

 

 

It finally hit me that my aching back was probably related to my old, worn-out running shoes, so I treated myself to a new pair. I continue to find at least one heart rock almost every day, and I'm so pleased by how many of my friends are spotting hearts everywhere now, too, and sharing them with me ...

 

 

Little C celebrated Christmas in Colorado with his parents and his other grandmother, but we were lucky to have his sister with us. She's around 12, but thanks to special food and medicine, she is so energetic and puppy-like again. She and Belle had a great time running, hunting, and just being good country guard dogs.

Cold mornings like this one where the mist from Lake Travis pools in the hollows of the hills and the light is golden are my favorites. I was grateful she could run up the hill again so we didn't miss it. 

 

 

The passing of one of my favorite high school teachers, who had become a lifelong friend, was bittersweet. I'm grateful I stopped by to visit him last April on a visit to Houston. 

I couldn't go to the service, but a friend who did shared this with me. I think it's worth remembering and sharing...

 

Celebrating a friend's 60th birthday included a chance to catch up with these beautiful friends I've known since high school. I find it odd and wonderful that we are so close now, and seem to grow closer every year, when in high school we barely knew each other. I regret that it took us so long!

 

 

I've made a couple of quick trips to Houston in the past month to spend the night with my sister. It's been fun just watching movies and reminiscing. Her memory is so much better than mine!

Over the Christmas season I watched "Elf" three times!  First while decorating my tree, then on one of the visits with my sister, and again at an Alamo Drafthouse movie party with the rest of our market center's Agent Leadership Council (my first movie party!) 

My accountability group got together one Friday night with glue, scissors, poster board, a stack of magazines, and a couple of bottles of wine to create our 2019 Vision Boards. That's the way to do it! It's the first vision board I've ever completed. Have you ever created one?

I just happened to glance out the window one morning in time to spot a flock of Cedar Waxwings fly in formation into the hollow and settle in our willow trees. Belle and I ventured closer and I snapped photos with my Nikon... but alas, they are still in my camera. But it was the experience that was sweetest... stepping out of my morning routine to stand there in the quiet with Belle, admiring God's handiwork. 

My hours of driving feel much more productive since I discovered Audible. I loved listening to Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich, and its more modern, funny version, You Are a Badass at Making Money, by Jen Sincero.

December brought me one last reminder of my awesome Italy Trip of 2017 with dear high school friends. I'll miss it in 2019! 

 

 

The sun has long set as I finish this. Fireworks boom from the hills around our house, making Belle nervous. I'm sure when Little C gets a little older, Tom will once again put on a fireworks show, but tonight we're happy to stay inside, watching television, reminiscing over the past year, and waiting for the ball to drop so we can call it a night... and a year.

I wish for all of you a blessed 2019, full of love, laughter, and joy. Happy New Year!

 

Lord, as the New Year dawns today,
      Help me to put my faults away.
      Let me be big in little things;
      Grant me the joy which friendship brings;
      Keep me from selfishness and spite,
      Let me be wise to what is right.
A Happy New Year! grant that I
      May cause no tear to any eye.
      When this new year in time shall end,
      Let it be said: "I've played the friend,
      Have lived and loved and labored here
      And made of it a happy year."

~Edgar Guest (1881–1959), "Prayer for the New Year"

And the lessons continue... (Happy birthday, Mama!)

 

It didn't hit me until today, but I'm sure my mom must have been a bit nervous as the birth of my first child drew close. After all...

1. I had been the baby of our family... and relished the role
2. As a little girl, I preferred stuffed animals to baby dolls.
3. My only two babysitting gigs were with older children.
4. I had never even changed a diaper!

Despite all of that, she bit her tongue and only offered advice, or shared experience, when asked. She was there with us in the hospital when he was born, but once home, she left us alone to figure out our new roles and relationships. 

It went beyond just trusting me not to inadvertently kill him. I felt she truly believed in my ability to be a good mother, and that gave me the confidence I needed  to trust my own instincts, and even to ask for her advice when necessary. 

I'm sure I did things differently than she did, but if she ever gave advice, it was offered in such a way that I didn't feel the need to defend my decisions or methods. I read all of the baby books I could get my hands on and subscribed to Parents magazine, but it helped knowing she was there as a major resource, or at least a sounding board. 

When my grandson was born a few months ago, my mind naturally traveled back to those days.  As usual, I turned to my mom; I started channeling her to help me in my new, unfamiliar role as grandmother. After all, it had been years since I held a newborn or changed a diaper!

His birth triggered so many memories, and I felt myself wanting to talk about my own experience, but I bit my tongue (or tried to), realizing my chatting may be taken as criticism.

Because despite the fact that this is their first, I knew beyond doubt they would be wonderful parents, even if they did some things differently than I did. Every child is different, with different needs, so there is no one "right" way, anyway. 

And obviously, they are doing an awesome job.

 

 

(My Mama would just eat him up, I know.)

I'll continue channeling her as he grows to help me stay close, but on the sidelines, ready and willing to help with whatever is needed, and always strictly adhering to their guidelines. I hope to at least come close to being the grandmother she was... 

 

 

On Mama's 77th birthday, I listed the things she had taught me, and then added to it every year. After her death, I expected Lesson #84 to be the last one.

It turns out she is still teaching me, so the list continues, and I imagine it will as I continue on into all the new territory that comes with growing older. Thank you for being such a great teacher, Mama, without ever utttering one lecture. (That's one lesson of hers I didn't learn, unfortunately! Sorry kids!)

Without further ado, here's the complete list with links to her previous birthday posts....

 

Things Mama has taught me...

1. it's never too late to learn something new
2. if you have a choice between laughter and tears, choose laughter.
3. don't let anyone mess with your babies!
4. only give advice when asked for it (I'm still working on that one)
5. pray every day
6. pray some more
7. reading a good book might not solve your problems, but it's a nice escape from them
8. bend but never break
9. some people are just takers
10. be nice whenever possible, but sometimes nice doesn't cut it
11. take care of family
12. we're all individuals - let your kids blossom into themselves, not "mini-me's"
13. be there
14. Johnny Weismuller is the best movie Tarzan
15. don't be in a rush to be older than you are - you're only going to be this age once in your life
16. if you like something, and you'll use it, and you can afford it, then buy it, or you'll regret it later
17. quality over quantity
18. never think "can't"
19. people will stand in line for a dead skunk if it's free
20. roll with the punches
21. have fun
22. laugh often
23. believe in yourself
24. don't let others change who you are
25. be honest
26. don't steal
27. forgive yourself
28. God loves me
29. don't judge
30. just do it!
31. inside matters more than outside
32. don't use God's name in vain
33. you can learn anything if you put your mind to it
34. you're never too old to dance
35. it's okay to ask for help
36. show appreciation and express gratitude
37. use my manners
38. consider the source
39. an office or position of authority should be respected, but the individual in that position has to earn your respect
40. sleep is good
41. take advantage of opportunities
42. keep your eyes open and your wits about you
43. people aren't always nice
44. things can't make you happy
45. use your imagination
46. just get started and the rest will be easy
47. don't be intimidated by anyone - we're all the same, all human, we all have strengths and weaknesses
48. you can love someone even if you don't like them
49. forgive but don't forget
50. learn from others' mistakes
51. there are times for being patient, and time for putting your foot down
52. speak up
53. stand up for what you believe in
54. admit your mistakes and expect others to do the same
55. persistence pays off
56. let your kids be kids
57. love unconditionally
58. take lots of pictures
59. kids grow up fast
60. your kids need a mother, not another friend
61. pets are family
62. help others
63. a sense of humor is essential for sanity and survival
64. if you look close enough, you can find something to love about everyone
65. coffee is good anytime
66. messes can be cleaned up
67. prayer works
68. God is strong all the time - let him carry you
69. if you say you're going to do something, do it
70. be nice to yourself in case no one else is
71. you have to show respect to get respect
72. girls are tough
73. don't put up with temper tantrums - yours or someone else's
74. listen to your body - doctors don't know everything
75. don't say everything you're thinking
76. asking questions is the best way to learn something
77. your babies are always your babies (and their babies are your babies, too!)
78. God is. 
79. Just listen. 
80. people are more important than things
    
81. there is a time to help others, and a time to let others help you
82. God has his reasons, and He will give you whatever strength you need for the road ahead...and never leave you to walk it alone.
83. smile and show appreciation to those who are willing to help you - they may have it tougher than you in many ways
84. Appreciate every second you're given, because life is beautiful.
85. Treasure the people in your life; take advantage of every chance you have to be with them, or to help them, even on days you don't like them.
86. Don't wait for things to be perfect to travel. Just GO!
87. How to be a good grandmother

 

Happy birthday, Mama, and thank you. I miss you. 

 

"My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words, but I always remember the tune." ~Terri Guillemets

"Freedom is never free." ~ Anonymous

 

In gratitude to all of you who have served, or who continue to serve, here's my annual tribute about my own favorite veterans. All too often we take your service and sacrifices for granted. Thanks for serving anyway. 

 

"Lord, if your people need me, I will not refuse the work. Your will be done."

~St. Martin of Tours

 

.

 

My dad was in high school when the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor. He joined the Navy soon after high school graduation because his country was at war and "it was the thing to do." 

In the next twenty-two months he traveled a long way from Texas aboard the U.S.S. Geneva...to places like the Philippines, the Marshall Islands, China, Burma, Japan.

Before he turned twenty, he had seen cities that had been destroyed by war and piles of dead bodies waiting to be buried. 

A few years later, his little brother Bobby followed his lead and joined the Navy, and many years later, so did my brother Donnie and two nephews.

 

Pop, my wonderful father-in-law, missed out on World War II, but joined the Air Force in time for the Korean War. He worked base supply in Okinawa, supporting bombers flying missions to Korea...about 100 aircraft every day.

He re-enlisted, got married, and hopped around the globe...living in England, Germany, and over a year in Pakistan, separated from his family (the other heroes - Mom had 8 teenage and younger boys to deal with by herself!)...visiting a dozen other countries...eventually staying put for awhile in Maryland, working with NSA (and a second job at the bowling alley to make ends meet), until his retirement.

A lifetime of service and sacrifice for this country.

 

My husband Tom was raised in that military family. For him it was normal to move every few years to someplace completely different...by the time he was eight or nine years old, he had lived in three countries!

He grew up on a tight budget ... hand-me-downs, powdered milk and only two cookies a day...period! And yet as soon as he could, he joined the service...the Coast Guard. Among other things, he helped rescue fisherman off the coast of Alaska.

Four of his brothers also joined the service (three career Air Force, just like their dad, and another Coast Guard) and the youngest joined the Army Reserves. Now the next generation is following in their footsteps: two Air Force and one Coast Guard, plus numerous cousins, nieces, and nephews. 

 

 

My big brother Buster was headed to Viet Nam, saying his goodbyes, when I stood beside him in this photograph and smiled. I had no idea what was ahead of him. This was probably taken before his first tour of duty and so he had only a vague idea himself what to expect.

When he volunteered for his second tour, however, he knew full well what he was stepping into...but he did it anyway...

...like so many before him did, and many after him continue to do. 

 

 

 

 

"This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave."

 ~Elmer Davis

Before we go any farther into November...

 

... let's take a step back to October. I need to finish a post I started weeks ago, because October is one of my favorite months, for lots of reasons... 

Although we met in September, it was in October that we knew we were in love. 

 

 

Aren't we cute? Sigh.

That's probably enough reason right there to love October, but there's more!

For one thing, it's usually the month when the first hint of autumn arrives in Texas, bringing cooler temperatures and dryer air, but staying warm enough to give summer a proper farewell, with no hard feelings over so many unmerciful scorching-hot days.  

Colors faded by summer's harsh sun come back to life  - azure skies, yellow and orange dotted treetops, roadsides splashed with purple and yellow. Texas wildflowers love October!

You're also likely to catch at least one totally amazing sunset...

 

 

I won't go into all of the sweet!s I collected in my notebook for October, but here are a few highlights I don't want to forget...

October is the month my Daddy was born. He would have loved seeing his great-grandson baptized on his birthday!

 

 

My middle son was also born in October,and this year he celebrated one of those milestones.

 

 

I might call that a bittersweet, instead of a sweet!, considering this other birthday of his seems like yesterday...

 

 

 I made it back to Houston for the first time in months for a visit with my friend Rae, a reunion dinner with my DuPont co-workers, and a long lunch with my siblings and their families...

 

 

I'm so blessed to have them. 

On my way back to Austin, I discovered I had a flat tire. I had already planned to stop by my son's house (where, coincidentally my grandson lives) so I aired it up and headed  his way. Then, while I played with little C, my son replaced the flat tire with the donut, and I was able to maintain my perfect record of never changing a flat tire. Sweet and sweet!

When I decided to become a Realtor, I decided to go with Keller Williams Realty because they have the best training of any real estate company. I really had no idea what a genius Gary Keller was until just the past couple of years.

Suffice it to say, he is ahead of the curve in this crazy business and doing all he can to take care of us as we enter a new industrial revolution. I was lucky enough to be a part of one of the many labs he's holding to introduce us to the new technology he has had developed for us to make sure we are cutting edge.

And then I was lucky enough that an agent friend of mine snapped a photo of Gary during the lab which included my head. Proof that I was there!

 

 

The next best thing to being in Italy, surrounded by some of your dearest friends, is to be constantly reminded by photos on Facebook of your trip a year ago. 

 

 

Every October Keller Williams teams up with the Central Texas Food Bank for a big food drive. I missed it last year because of my high school reunion and trip to Italy, but I was able to help out this year. I love it because it forces me to get out in my widespread neighborhood, knocking on doors, asking for help, and meeting new people while making a big contribution. 

 

 

Last year my reunion and trip to Italy also made me miss our church Oktoberfest (our huge fundraiser) so I was happy to attend it this year. We have a new priest who is a great sport: He agreed to wear Lederhosen if enough money was raised. It was!

Meet Father Raj...

 

 

My business is growing... more buyers and sellers and contracts and closings! Yay!... 

 

(new listing in Horseshoe Bay, Texas... tell your friends!)

 

I'm still finding hearts all around me. I hope you are, too!

 

 

From the moment we moved to this small town, Mary Kay has been there for us. It's like a super-power with her... it's not just my family she takes care of! How does she do it?

So I'm grateful I was able to help her celebrate her birthday in October...

 

 

Last minute, I dove into the many dress-up boxes I filled over the years for my kids for a costume to wear to a friend's Halloween party. And I'm so glad I decided to go!! I was amazed at some of the creative things other people wore! I always forget Halloween can be fun for grown ups, too. 

 

 

But of course, it's mostly for kids, including little C ... the cutest owl EVER!  

 

 

Thank you so much for traveling back in time with me. Here's hoping your November is full of sweet!s already, but never forget to...

 

 

October is a hallelujah! reverberating in my body year-round....

~John Nichols (b.1940), The Last Beautiful Days of Autumn

"Is, then, September come so soon?"

 

 

Is, then, September come so soon?
Full time doth summer ne'er abide?
While yet it seems but summer's noon,
We're floating down the autumn tide.

~Eunice E. Comstock, The Atlantic Monthly, October 1873

 

Is it just me, or did Summer just set a new record for "Fastest Season Ever"? 

Temperatures are still climbing to 100 degrees Fahrenheit or more every day here in Austin - very much "summer's noon" -  but past experience tells me it won't be long before I trade my daily uniform of a sleeveless dress and sandals for jeans and boots. 

Business exploded this summer - the real estate market in Austin is still going strong, and I'm grateful! So even though I've kept up with my 'sweet' journal, posting them here has been a time-luxury I just couldn't afford. 

However, in honor of Labor Day, I'm taking a few hours off this evening to indulge myself by sharing a few highlights from my summer "sweet!"s  and provide a "Sixty by Sixty" update.

It will take me 2 or 3 hours to compose this, believe it or not, but it's a chance to look back over photos, re-read pages of my "sweet" journal, choose quotes, and just generally slow down  and ponder life and all that I have to be grateful for... which I'm always reminded is a LOT. 

So, here I go...

I made a considerable dent in my "Sixty by Sixty " list this summer - I'm up to 37 "first time..."s. Over halfway there, and I still have 7 months to go!

I was able to cross off some of the major items, too: I took a yoga class... finally experienced a Harlem Globetrotters game ... and rode the Metro train downtown to attend the Keller Williams Mega Camp convention. 

 

 

I ate at several good Austin restaurants for the first time, heard John Maxwell speak in person (he's funny!), and perhaps most memorable of all, experienced little C smiling at me - at ME - for the first time. He's a charmer, as you can see from this photo of him with his daddy (who happens to be my baby, all grown up)...

 

 

We've been blessed with being owned by many awesome dogs over the years, and also with a sweet, aging grandpuppy who came to visit us twice in August!

 

 

Our niece was in town for her cousin's baby shower. We met her and her precious two girls for dinner one night.

We hadn't seen them since the oldest was a baby!

 

 

Tom and I celebrated our 36th wedding anniversary in August.

We were married on a Friday the 13th. The next year, right after our 1st anniversary, we experienced Hurricane Alicia passing over our house in League City, Texas.

Never a dull moment for us!

Since then we've chased dreams, been broke, built our own home, and supported each other financially and emotionally. It's been thirty-six years of laughter, tears, heartaches, and joy... of butting heads and seeing eye-to-eye...of raising our children, watching them grow into actual adults, and now watching our new grandson growing way, way too fast.

Another tiny thread that sews us together. 

 Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years.

~Simone Signoret

 

 

Here are a few more sweet!s since my last update...

Being able to attend the services and support friends as they  mourn the loss of parents

Multiple referrals from friends and past clients

My husband and son's help putting up For Sale signs, and my son helping me with open houses 

Finally watching the movie "Buckaroo Bonzai" (how did I miss this one?)

My cousin having my grandmothers' slides digitally scanned and put on discs

Commission checks

Listening to Napoleon Hill's book "Think and Grow Rich" twice (I wish someone had told me about this one a long time ago!)

Audible, so I can "read" while driving 

Rain

A sky full of stars in a pre-dawn morning

An old friend of Tom's finding us through this blog!

Playing my drums

Helping 5 friends/family members connect with great real estate agents near them

Having to buy more signs and lockboxes because of all my new listings

Two separate 60th birthday parties for friends

Reading the journals I kept for my kids during their childhoods

My daughter making sure I came out to see the full moon just before it sank behind the treetops on the horizon

Knowing my sister has friends close by when she needs extra help

Friends coming to visit via helicopter for a gathering of our Italy group

Being dive-bombed by a hummingbird

The macaroons at Elizabeth Street Cafe

And last but not least...  lots of heart rocks. 

 

 

There shall be eternal summer in the grateful heart.

~Celia Thaxter

 

I'm wishing for you an eternal summer! (Maybe not one quite this hot, though.)

A Daughter...a Gift of Love

 

A daughter is a gift of love.

~Author unknown

My daughter had a birthday recently. When pressed, she allowed me to have a small family gathering, for my benefit. She told me it should be my celebration, since I'm the one who did all the work that day. 

That's a perfect example of the woman she has become. When I think back over the past several years... all I've been through with my parents and starting a new career... I can see her right there beside me, ready and willing to do whatever I needed. She's independent and self-confident, as well as fiercely loving and thoughtful. 

She was there on multiple one-day trips to Houston, helping me clean out my mom's house and work the estate sale. She's always willing to help me out at open houses if I really need her,  setting up signs and keeping me company. When I'm traveling or have long days with clients or in classes, she and her brother rearrange their schedules to be home with Belle, even using their own vacation at times to cover for me.

In Mama's last few months, it was her suggestion that we accompany Mama every Sunday to the worship service at the nursing home. I sat on one side of the wheelchair and she sat on the other, either holding up the hymnal so Mama could see it or just holding her hand.

Those Sunday mornings are treasured memories now. Such a priceless gift, added to the many others she's given me all of her life. 

She hasn't always been a perfect child, but then, I have never been a perfect mom.  She's very private - if you've read my blog very long, you already know that. Our roles are often reversed, with her cautioning me on internet safety, rather than the other way around. She can be very wise. 

More and more I'm realizing she isn't just a gift from God for the help and support she gives me, but also for the ways she makes me question what I think I know and things I take for granted. I'm a better person because of her. She helps me continue to grow and learn. 

She challenges me to be a better friend. I hope I'm half the friend to her that she is to me.  

Happy birthday to you, and thank you, my sweet daughter. 

 

 

 

A daughter is a little girl who grows up to be a friend. 

~Author Unknown

 

Call me BiBi (Have I mentioned I'm a grandmother?)

 

 

Yes, yes. I know I've already mentioned it, but hey, I'm a grandmother now, so you'll probably hear about it a lot! 

It's hard for me to believe, but my grandson will soon celebrate his 1 month birthday. He is still mostly just eating and sleeping and growing, but it's so amazing to hold him and watch him while he sleeps. I can see him dreaming...  his eyes twitch, his mouth moves, he smiles...

What are you dreaming about, little C?

 

 

To become a grandparent is to enjoy one of the few pleasures in life for which the consequences have already been paid.

~Robert Brault

I don't live close enough to see him everyday, but I'm close enough to be there pretty fast if ever I'm needed. I'm not sure if that will ever happen. My son and daughter-in-law have things under control, but they know we are here if they need us.

Thanks to my job as a Realtor, though, I travel all over the city, so I've been able to swing by at least once a week after showing property, whether they need me or not. 

As I imagined, becoming a grandmother brought me a lot of "firsts" to add to my 60 by 60 list: the first time I heard little C cry... the first time I watched my son change little C's diaper...the first time I held little C... fed little C a bottle... changed little C's diaper myself... 

Yes, a lot of firsts and "sweet!"s come with the birth of a grandbaby.

(Isn't he beautiful?)

 

If your baby is "beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time," you’re the grandma.

~Teresa Bloomingdale

 

Life continues apart from grandmothering, though, so here are a few "sweet!"s from the past couple of months (just a handful for the sake of time!) ... 

 

I continue to find heart rocks, and friends continue sending me images of hearts they are finding from clouds and leaves to onions and radishes!

My front porch when it's all swept of leaves, dirt, and dog hair

 

 Hard hat tours of downtown Austin hi-rise condos, like 70 Rainey and 5th & West

 

Amazing views of Lady Bird Lake from 70 Rainey 

 

Hard hats shaped like cowboy hats!

 

Inspiration and chocolate, courtesy of Dove

Driving to Belton to meet an interesting, elderly, "off the cloud" client in person to sign a listing agreement

 

Stopping for lunch afterward at a restaurant on Lake Belton where I ate with my grandmother decades ago

 

A visit from my nephew and his precious kids

Finding valuable podcasts and books on Audible to listen to when driving

Playing my drums 

Spotting a deer, a cotton-tail, and a fox all on one morning walk

 

Helping a friend's son and his wife buy their first home, and having their offer selected over others

Referrals from friends and past clients

Getting a $70K reduction in our county property taxes because of my protest

Stepping out of my comfort zone

 

Friends from high school letting me know when they are in town

Rain, rain, and more rain

Listening to the birds chattering in the trees, excited about the rain

A friend living in Paris sharing photos of a sunset over the Seine River

 

Purple flowers, and other things we tend to take for granted. 

(This is an old photo of prairie verbena, a tough and beautiful flower that continues to bloom despite drought or flood, freezing winters or scorching summers.  It's blooming at the curve of our road right now, but I realized yesterday morning that I hadn't even noticed it until then, even though it's one of my favorites. I just wasn't paying attention. What favorites are you taking for granted right now?)

I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don't notice it.... People think pleasing God is all God care about. But any fool living in the world can see it always trying to please us back.

~Alice Walker, The Color Purple, 1982

 

 

 

 

What does a father do? He leaves a legacy.

 

 

"It’s hard to describe the choked up teary eyed swell of love and shaky adrenaline you experience witnessing your first child transform from a stomach bump into a little being. You’re mesmerized by their little sounds and movements for hours. Its like staring at the northern lights, lightning storms, ocean waves smashing cliffs, the most epic sunrise/sunset you’ve ever seen, or a yard full of puppies." ~ Tommy Shallue

My son wrote those words after experiencing the birth of his own baby boy earlier this week, just in time to celebrate Father's Day today.  I felt he described the magic of becoming a parent so well that I asked permission to share his thoughts on here.  

I remember as if it were yesterday the overwhelming sense of awe and love I felt holding him for the first time (my son), falling into the infinite depths of his eyes and knowing for certain there was a God.

And now our son is a father. Our firstborn, who transformed me into a mom and Tom into a dad 32 years ago, has transformed us once again, into grandparents.

Witnessing my first child cradle his own first child on that first day of his birth, gazing at him with wonder and love, filled me with joyous pride and peace. I sensed that something had clicked into place. A baton had been passed and I knew it was in good, steady, strong hands.  

He's going to be an awesome Daddy. No. Correction. He already is an awesome Daddy.

But then, he comes from a long line of awesome Daddies. In honor of Father's Day, here's a repeat of an old post, featuring his dad and two granddads, who showed him the answer to this question...

 

What does a father do?

 

A father gives advice 

A father nourishes the body 

and the soul 

 

A father encourages

A father is joyful

A father reads

 

A father lends a hand 

 

A father plays 

 

A father offers support 

 

A father sticks close by your side

 

A father makes memories

A father teaches 

A father laughs 

 

A father is gallant

 

A father proves age is just a number

 

A father reaches out 

A father hangs on tight

 

A father dances

 

A father helps you aim high

A father shows pride 

A father sets a good example to follow

A father relaxes

A father listens

 

A father teaches you how to play fair

 

A father helps out

 

A father loves

 

A father experiences awe

 

 

He didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.

~Clarence Budington Kelland

 

Happy Father's Day! 

A Post-Florida / Pre-Grandbaby "Sweet" and "First" Update...

"My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world."

~Jack Layton

 

 

When I headed to Florida with Tom last weekend, weather forecasts indicated we could be meeting up with a mini-hurricane.

Ever-hopeful, I packed my swim suit and sunscreen, but I was mentally prepared for a week of rain. It didn't affect my desire to go, because my main purpose was to spend time with some of Tom's brothers, my sister-in-law, niece and nephews, and especially my amazing, spunky mother-in-law.

I wanted to help celebrate her 85th birthday. 

 

 

Fortunately, I was able to celebrate Mom AND spend a few hours at the beach with my niece and nephews, because the mini-hurricane fizzled into a sub-tropical storm that somehow missed us. We had a little rain during the week, but a whole lot more sunshine.

 

 

We even did a little fishing at "Pop's Pier", one of Tom's dad's favorite spots. By a "little fishing", I mean we only caught a few little fish and fed squid to the nibblers, but there was a great breeze blowing and we made some memories. I think Pop would still be proud. 

 

 

Tom's little brother helped me acquire 2 new 'firsts' for my 60 by 60 list that day:

    15. I baited a hook for the first time... and probably last time! Ugh!

    16. I finally stopped at the Old Chimney on Pensacola's Scenic Bluffs, after passing it by on every trip to and from Pensacola Beach and Pop's Pier for the past twenty years,. 

 

 

Flying home yesterday, I was fortunate to get a window seat and experience another unexpected sweet! and "first"...

    17. Viewing a rainbow from above!

 

 

A few other 'sweet!s' from Florida, plus more firsts and sweet!s from April and May...

 

My son using  some of his vacation days to take care of Belle so I could go to Florida

One of my buyers closing on her property. (I hate to miss closings, but at that stage in the transaction, I only play a supporting role.)

A colleague helping with the final walk-through (thank you, Amanda!) and another colleague showing property to other buyers (thank you, Melissa!) 

Winning at 3-13 (a rummy-type card game) more games than on any other trip

Getting a contract on a listing (being able to work from Florida!)

Attending early Mass with Mom on her birthday, and the priest singing happy birthday to her afterward in the foyer, with everyone joining in

Celebrating Mother's Day at Toulouse in the Domain; eating Trout Almondine for the first time 

A college graduation party for the daughter of clients at Waller Creek Boathouse on Lady Bird Lake. It was my first time there, as well as my first time seeing the Forever Bicycles sculpture in person. 

 

 

Holding the last meeting of our Pastoral Council at the Highland Lakes Grille to thank our retiring priest for his service (bittersweet)

 

 

Sleeping with the windows open

Our HVAC system fixed after several days without it.

Dinner and the movie "The Book Club" with friends

Viewing a new home with a glassed in room on the third floor ensuring amazing views of Lake Travis and the hill country

 

 

Alamo Drafthouse with my kids to see  "A Quiet Place" and "Solo"

How happy the birds are when I finally remember to fill up the feeder

A kitchen still sporting vintage tile 

 

 

The call of Chuck-Wills-Widow at dusk

Two baby showers for friends' daughters who I've known for more than half of their lives... and one gave birth yesterday!

Winning $50 worth of continuing education for a class by Abby Vasek for exuding the most confidence in this photo

 

 

Meeting clients in person for the first time who have been living out of the country 

Mornings with Belle

 

Watching one cardinal feed another one. I'm not sure if it was a husband/wife or mama/child, but it was sweet!

Visiting a new neighbor's house-in-progress (he's also the builder, and the son of a past client)

 

 

A crescent moon playing peek-a-boo with a blanket of clouds

Another Keller Williams RED Day (Renew, Energize, Donate) - this year at SAFE, a shelter for abused women and children. I helped out in a classroom of 4 and 5 year olds, while others helped rebuild a playground and work on other much-needed projects (no photos allowed of the kids - just the goofy grownups)

 

 

Spotting a pink heart on the back of a caterpillar

 

 

A reunion of dear friends / past co-workers from my DuPont chemical plant days

 

 

And last but not least... the first sighting of the Mountain Pinks this morning! A sure sign that summer has arrived (in case the consistent high 90's temperatures hadn't convinced us yet)

 

 

I hope you are keeping your eyes open for the sweet!s in your life, which aren't just the blessings you're given, but also those you give to others. They are often the sweetest. 

 

"I think, what has this day brought me, and what have I given it?"

~Henry Moore

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

60 by 60

 

 

If you wait, all that happens is that you get older.

~Larry McMurtry

 

 

I can't believe I've been 59 for over a month now and haven't yet posted about the "60 by 60" challenge I've made to myself for the coming year.  Time continues to spin faster and faster, and there are still so many things I've intended to do or experience just around Austin, much less the rest of the world. If I'm not intentional about it, I'll just keep putting things off and miss opportunities to experience new things, which means I'll miss opportunities to learn and grow.

It's so easy to get 'too busy'.

So I've started a list that I will add to over the coming year, as ideas come to me or opportunities arise. My goal is to experience 60 new things by my 60th birthday.  It might be as simple as trying a new food or restaurant, or experiencing a city I've never been to... New Orleans, for example, the site for the 2019 Keller Williams Family Reunion.

The biggest and best new experience this year, of course, will be becoming a grandmother. That, in itself, will bring a ton of new and wonderful firsts.

But most of the things on my list are just touristy things around Austin or somewhere else in Texas that have been on my "one day" list for far too long.  You know how it is when you live in a city - you don't sense any urgency in visiting these places, and all too often, you never get there. I don't want that to happen.

I'm not putting everything I've ever wanted to do on here, like visit every country in the world, and some for a second or third time. If the opportunity arises during the year, that's great, but I do realize my limitations in time and finances.  

Now, without further ado (and without putting this off another day or week) here is my list so far, starting with the new things I experienced in April. May has been pretty uneventful so far, which is another reason I want to get this going!  

 

 

1. Visit Hope Outdoor Gallery/Graffiti Park -
   
   Done! This place is iconic Austin and I've been wanting to visit for a long time. Its days are now numbered; rumor has it it will be moved to another location in Austin, but I can't imagine it will be the same. I wanted to go to the original on Castle Hill, so after showing property nearby one day last month, I finally made the time to stroll through, admire the artwork and watch people putting their own mark on the concrete walls. I also met... shoot, I can't think of his name right now... who sells his own style of art created from chunks of the wall. You can see the layers of paint in each piece. 
   
   
   
   
   
2. Eat at the Soup Peddler -
   
   Done! I'll admit I had never heard of this little restaurant before I spotted it and decided to eat there. But the parking lots near Graffiti Park are full of warning signs about getting towed unless you're visiting one of the businesses they front ... plus I was hungry... plus I had never been there... so why not two new things in a row? I had an amazing turkey sandwich before climbing Castle Hill to view the artwork. Everything there is so fresh and different. It's a great spot for me to stop when I'm in the area - quick and cheap and delicious. I'm so glad I know about it now!
   
   
3. Eat at Fareground -
   
   Done! Another place I didn't know about, but experienced by tagging along with my son and his wife, who are on top of everything going on in Austin. It's an underground food court right downtown, full of satellite restaurants from some of the best spots in town, including Ni-Kome, where I experienced #4...
   
   
4. Try real Ramen -
   
   Done! Prior to this, my knowledge of ramen was limited to those cheap little packets you get from the grocery store. I had no idea ramen could be a gourmet food. My kids are always teaching me new things! Thank you, Tommy and Kirby!
   
   
5. Eat at the Bouldin Creek Cafe -
   
   Done! I finally enjoyed brunch at this iconic Austin restaurant with my dear friend Lisa when she was in town visiting her son. It was so good! Now I know where to pass the time when I'm stuck on the south side. Thank you, Lisa!
   
   
   
   
6. Celebrate San Jacinto Day at the San Jacinto Monument -
   
   
   
   
   Done! San Jacinto Day is the celebration of  the final battle on April 21, 1836 of the Texas Revolution, where Texas won its independence from Mexico.
   
   I grew up in the shadow of the San Jacinto Monument and have visited it more times than I can count, first as a child with my parents on up until I was a mom taking my own kids out there. I'm such a Texas history geek that I would even visit the museum by myself.
   
   So would you believe that even though every year there is a re-enactment of the battle and a festival, I've never gone? And I wouldn't have made it this year if my sweet and smart friend Rae didn't suggest I come in a day earlier than I planned for my reunion with friends/co-workers from my DuPont days.
   
   I admit I didn't actually watch the re-enactment on Saturday (I had to get ready for the reunion), but I experienced something even better ... I met Sam Houston at a special preview on Friday night who acted as tour guide for us through the Texan camp and the battleground. We also heard the Mexican side of the story from someone in their army. The whole time a trio of Texan pioneer minstrels followed us at a distance, serenading us with period music.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   At the festival the next day, we visited booths, bought kettle corn, watched Native American dancers (who were amazing!), and even bumped into a high school classmate dressed in period clothing who is an expert on cannons from that period, and actually owns an exact replica.
   
   
   
   I know a lot about Texas history but learned so much more that weekend. Thank you, Rae! (And thank you for sharing some of your photos like this one!)
   
   
   
   
7. Take a hard hat tour of a downtown Austin hi-rise - 
   
   Done! It wasn't my first time in a hard hat by any means, but for the first time in more than 25 years, I donned one again, this time to view a new hi-rise condo being built in Austin right now.
   
   My clients and I joined the sales rep for the ride up via a construction elevator - much more secure than being lifted in a cage by a crane like we were during construction and shut-downs at my chemical plant! They are in the finish-out stage of the interior now, so the building itself was enclosed and secure.
   
   
   
   
   
   I can't wait to see it when it's all finished.
   
   That's a first I'm looking forward to! But it's not the only one...
   
   
8. Visit 5th and West when it's complete. 
9. Visit the Elisabet Ney museum.
10. Visit the Umlauf Sculpture Garden.
11. Hike the Greenbelt and see the Twin Falls and Sculpture Falls 
12. Visit the Blanton Museum (It's true. I admit I've never been inside.)
13. Visit the Lady Bird Johnson Wildflower Center.
14. Visit the Zilker Botanical Garden.
15. Have my photo taken in front of the real "Greetings from Austin" mural at Roadhouse Relics.
16. See the Harlem Globetrotters. (a dream from childhood)
17. Experience Sound & Cinema at the Long Center
18. Go to the Austin Kite Festival.
19. Visit New Orleans.
20. Take a Louisiana plantation tour with my friend Sandy. We've been talking about it for too many years.
21. See the Lipizzan Stallions (if they come to Texas this year - another dream from childhood)
22. Visit Hamilton Pool (it's another travesty that I've never been)
23. Swim in Jacob's Well.
24. Eat at Mattie's at Green Pastures.
25. Go to Unplugged at the Grove.
26. Experience Microsessions.
27. Listen to live music at the Continental Club.
28. Listen to live music at the Elephant Room.  
29. Make it to a taping of Austin City Limits. 
30. Visit Marfa, Texas, and see the Marfa lights.
31. Visit Marfa, Texas, and stay in a TeePee
32. Experience the Christmas light show at Mozart's 

 

It's already halfway through May. I need to get busy! If there's something you don't see on my list that you recommend, please let me know! I might go ahead and start my "70 by 70" list! So...what are some things you've wanted to do that you've just never gotten around to? Please share so I know I'm not the only one. 

 

The problem with putting off things you've always wanted to do is that eventually you run out of always.

~Robert Brault

 

 

Lesson #86 (Still teaching me! Happy birthday, Mama!)

A tiny box in the upper righthand corner of my computer reminds me that today is my mom's 86th birthday. (As if I could forget!)

However, my heart reminds me that she is so much more than those earthly years. She is free from their bonds. I feel her love around me all the time, see her in my face and my actions at times, and still hear her voice... sometimes soothing me or giving me advice ... sometimes teasing me and a tad sarcastic ... but always, always full of love. 

  

On Mama's 77th birthday, I listed the things she had taught me, and then added to it every year. After her death, I expected Lesson #84 to be the last one. It turns out she is still teaching me, so the list continues. 

When my friend Byron first mentioned a bunch of us traveling to Italy to spend a week with him and his wife after our high school reunion, I balked. First, there was the issue of time away from my business. It's not just a matter of not being around for my clients, but a good portion of my day is spent trying to find new clients to help keep my business alive ...because of issue #2: finances. We still have some debt to pay off and a house to finish!

There were just so many other things calling out for the money I would spend on a trip to Italy. 

 But... my mama's lessons came to mind, particularly #41, #58, #70, and #84.

I decided to #30 and just go for it.

 

 

The thing is (Mama's favorite phrase), she and Daddy traveled a lot after we were grown up. They drove the west coast from California to Washington, went on a cruise around the Hawaiian Islands, and visited Canada. They went to Disneyworld, Las Vegas, New York City and a bunch of other cities I don't even remember.

 

 

But Mama always dreamed of going to Switzerland and she never made it there. I'm not sure what kept them from going - probably finances or health concerns - but by NOT going, she gave me Lesson #86: Don't wait for things to be perfect to travel. Just GO!

Thank you, Mama! You were right, once again! It was a fabulous, once-in-a-lifetime trip that I will treasure forever. 

 

 

Thank you for all the lessons you gave me, whether intentional or not. You taught more by example than words... just another clue to what a wise woman I was blessed to have as my mother. 

 

 

Without further ado, here's the complete list with links to her previous birthday posts....

Things Mama has taught me...

1. it's never too late to learn something new
2. if you have a choice between laughter and tears, choose laughter.
3. don't let anyone mess with your babies!
4. only give advice when asked for it (I'm still working on that one)
5. pray every day
6. pray some more
7. reading a good book might not solve your problems, but it's a nice escape from them
8. bend but never break
9. some people are just takers
10. be nice whenever possible, but sometimes nice doesn't cut it
11. take care of family
12. we're all individuals - let your kids blossom into themselves, not "mini-me's"
13. be there
14. Johnny Weismuller is the best movie Tarzan
15. don't be in a rush to be older than you are - you're only going to be this age once in your life
16. if you like something, and you'll use it, and you can afford it, then buy it, or you'll regret it later
17. quality over quantity
18. never think "can't"
19. people will stand in line for a dead skunk if it's free
20. roll with the punches
21. have fun
22. laugh often
23. believe in yourself
24. don't let others change who you are
25. be honest
26. don't steal
27. forgive yourself
28. God loves me
29. don't judge
30. just do it!
31. inside matters more than outside
32. don't use God's name in vain
33. you can learn anything if you put your mind to it
34. you're never too old to dance
35. it's okay to ask for help
36. show appreciation and express gratitude
37. use my manners
38. consider the source
39. an office or position of authority should be respected, but the individual in that position has to earn your respect
40. sleep is good
41. take advantage of opportunities
42. keep your eyes open and your wits about you
43. people aren't always nice
44. things can't make you happy
45. use your imagination
46. just get started and the rest will be easy
47. don't be intimidated by anyone - we're all the same, all human, we all have strengths and weaknesses
48. you can love someone even if you don't like them
49. forgive but don't forget
50. learn from others' mistakes
51. there are times for being patient, and time for putting your foot down
52. speak up
53. stand up for what you believe in
54. admit your mistakes and expect others to do the same
55. persistance pays off
56. let your kids be kids
57. love unconditionally
58. take lots of pictures
59. kids grow up fast
60. your kids need a mother, not another friend
61. pets are family
62. help others
63. a sense of humor is essential for sanity and survival
64. if you look close enough, you can find something to love about everyone
65. coffee is good anytime
66. messes can be cleaned up
67. prayer works
68. God is strong all the time - let him carry you
69. if you say you're going to do something, do it
70. be nice to yourself in case no one else is
71. you have to show respect to get respect
72. girls are tough
73. don't put up with temper tantrums - yours or someone else's
74. listen to your body - doctors don't know everything
75. don't say everything you're thinking
76. asking questions is the best way to learn something
77. your babies are always your babies (and their babies are your babies, too!)
78. God is. 
79. Just listen. 
80. people are more important than things
    
81. there is a time to help others, and a time to let others help you
82. God has his reasons, and He will give you whatever strength you need for the road ahead...and never leave you to walk it alone.
83. smile and show appreciation to those who are willing to help you - they may have it tougher than you in many ways
84. Appreciate every second you're given, because life is beautiful.
85. Treasure the people in your life; take advantage of every chance you have to be with them, or to help them, even on days you don't like them.
86. Don't wait for things to be perfect to travel. Just GO!

   

"All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother." ~Abraham Lincoln

Love you, Mama. Happy birthday, and God bless you!  

Reflections on Veterans Day

 

 

Yesterday afternoon, I stood under a gray sky in the Central Texas State Veterans Cemetery paying tribute to a friend who passed away a few months ago. He had retired from the Texas Army National Guard as a Sergeant Major. We also paid tribute to his father-in-law, a retired Air Force Major, who also recently passed away.

White markers surrounded us, a testament to the sacrifice of so many for the sake of our country. 

After the ceremony, I received a text from a recent client/friend - a retired Marine. He sent me and a few others a link to "The Warrior Song - Hard Corps" in honor of the Marine Corps' birthday, which was yesterday. Just another reminder of the price that has been paid for our freedom. 

So in honor of Veterans Day, here's a re-posting of my annual tribute to the veterans in my own family, including TG's boyfriend who has been overseas for several months and still has a few to go. Please keep him and all of the others in your prayers. 

 

"Lord, if your people need me, I will not refuse the work. Your will be done."

~St. Martin of Tours

 

My big brother Buster was headed to Viet Nam, saying his goodbyes, when I stood beside him in this photograph and smiled. I had no idea what was ahead of him. This was probably taken before his first tour of duty and so he had only a vague idea himself what to expect.

When he volunteered for his second tour, however, he knew full well what he was stepping into...but he did it anyway. 

 

 

My dad was in high school when the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor. He joined the Navy soon after high school graduation because his country was at war and "it was the thing to do." 

In the next twenty-two months he traveled a long way from Texas aboard the U.S.S. Geneva...to places like the Philippines, the Marshall Islands, China, Burma, Japan.

Before he turned twenty, he had seen cities that had been destroyed by war and piles of dead bodies waiting to be buried. 

A few years later, his little brother Bobby followed his lead and joined the Navy, and many years later, so did my brother Donnie and two nephews.

 

Pop, my wonderful father-in-law, missed out on World War II, but joined the Air Force in time for the Korean War. He worked base supply in Okinawa, supporting bombers flying missions to Korea...about 100 aircraft every day.

He re-enlisted, got married, and hopped around the globe...living in England, Germany, and over a year in Pakistan, separated from his family (the other heroes - Mom had 8 teenage and younger boys to deal with by herself!)...visiting a dozen other countries...eventually staying put for awhile in Maryland, working with NSA (and a second job at the bowling alley to make ends meet), until his retirement.

A lifetime of service and sacrifice for this country.

 

My husband Tom was raised in that military family. For him it was normal to move every few years to someplace completely different...by the time he was eight or nine years old, he had lived in three countries!

He grew up on a tight budget ... hand-me-downs, powdered milk and only two cookies a day...period! And yet as soon as he could, he joined the service...the Coast Guard. Among other things, he helped rescue fisherman off the coast of Alaska.

Four of his brothers also joined the service (three career Air Force, just like their dad, and another Coast Guard) and the youngest joined the Army Reserves. Now the next generation is following in their footsteps: two Air Force and one Coast Guard, plus numerous cousins, nieces, and nephews. 

I think it's very fitting that Veterans Day shares November with Thanksgiving, a day when we slow down to remember and be grateful for things that we usually take for granted, because veterans, despite the sacrifices they make for all of us, probably don't even make it onto our Thanksgiving thank-you list.

That's how much most of us take them for granted - as well as the freedoms they protect for us. Even when our country isn't at war, they go where they are needed to unfamiliar places, away from extended family, often living on a minimum salary.

 

Thank you Daddy, Tom, Pop, Buster, Donnie, Uncle Bobby, Uncle Howard, Kenny, Steve, Joe, Robbie, John, Sheila, Michael, Tom, Lynn, Robbin, Evan, James ..and all of the other Veterans, past and present, out there! Because of you, we're free to go about our daily lives, without a thought in the world to how much that freedom costs or how much you've given.

I'd like to thank TG's B and all of the others who are continuing to step up to fill those ranks for our country... those who, through their actions, still say, "Don't worry. I got this."

I hope we always show them the support they deserve. 

 

"Freedom is never free."  ~Author Unknown

 

 

"This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave."

 ~Elmer Davis

Postcards from Greece, Dragonflies, and other sweet!s

 Deep in the sun-searched growths the dragonfly
Hangs like a blue thread loosened from the sky.

~Dante Gabriel Rossetti, Silent Noon

 

This morning as Belle and I finished our walk, a dragonfly buzzed close, circling and circling. It even hovered about a foot from me for a few seconds, providing me a good look at its glimmering green and turquoise body,before finally flying off and disappearing into the trees.

What a sweet moment!

I've noticed a lot dragonflies zipping around the hollow lately. They never seem to land, just zip, zip, zip, but in 2010 dragonflies of every color posed for me.

The friendly one this morning reminded me of those old photos, so I went searching through my files so I could share this with you.

 

 Dragonflies are just amazing, aren't they?

 

I wish I could say I took the next photo.  My son and his wife are finishing up an idyllic week in Greece, which followed an idyllic week on the Amalfi coast of Italy. It's an early birthday celebration for my daughter-in-law.

Those kids know how to celebrate, that's for sure!

They are both awesome photographers, too, capturing amazing views, architecture, and slices of life, besides making sure they get some photos of themselves experiencing all of it. 

I've enjoyed following along on their adventures and have added all of the places they've visited to my bucket list. I'm so grateful for Instagram and Facebook!

 

 

And now for a few other sweet!s from the past two (or so) weeks, working backward ...

Celebrating a client/friend's 60th birthday party while watching the sun set over Lake Travis

Celebrating another friend's 55th birthday by dancing for hours

 

 

A blog/photographer friend providing authentic recipes for Spanish tapas for me for a Wine & Tapas meeting I'm going to this week. (Sidenote: I met Juana through her food-story blog years ago. Although I've never met her in person, I consider her a dear friend. She has an amazing story, which she has had published. Unfortunately for me, it hasn't been translated into English yet, but if you read Spanish, you should buy it and read it. I know it's good. "Por Una Sonrisa")

Enjoying a second cup of coffee on my deck with Belle on a relatively cool morning in time to watch a great blue heron fly over and two red hawks fight for custody of a tree near our creek 

Our hollow at night... the smell of the cedars and the creek, the sound of night insects, and the stars scattered across the sky

Finally adding posts to the real estate blog I started last year... "Your Austin Sweet Austin Home". (Please check it out and share it with friends! Thank you! )

Having the flexibility to cover for our church secretary at the last minute when she needs to go to the doctor....

... and seeing this on our priest's desk...

 

 

How Belle can sense when Tom or the kids are about to arrive home when they are still at least a mile away

An executed contract for a buyer who is looking forward to moving his family back to Texas from California

Friends and clients who don't even live in Texas purchasing raffle tickets that benefit my church and small town

Our family and friends in Florida being spared damage from Hurricane Irma 

Lunch with my cousin

Finding a heart rock in my path almost every day

 

 

Helping a friend's dad find a home

Connecting an aging neighbor with someone who can help her take care of her yard

A visit with my nephew who was in town helping to coordinate hurricane relief 

My listing in Kyle, Texas going live! (Help me find a buyer!)

 

 

The full moon waiting for me to get up before it disappeared below the horizon

Driving on country roads at night with the full moon keeping me company and the windows open... the wind carrying smells of the lake and campfire smoke and the promise of autumn

Thinking of my dad on the anniversary of his passing and my father-in-law on his birthday, and giving thanks I was blessed to have both in my life

Enjoying sunrises over the hill country with Belle

 

 

Dinner with friends at a floating restaurant on Lake Travis

Tom home safe from a hunting weekend with friends (and bringing home lots of pork from the wild hog he shot)

Being able to check on friends and family in Houston via Facebook during the hurricane, and knowing most of them were high and dry

Dinner with a friend/client and giving her a sign made by another friend/client who has started a business making them

 

 

Dusk on my back deck, when the frogs begin to croon, harmonizing with the cicadas and evening birds

Family and friends checking to be sure we weren't affected by the hurricane

The sight of blue sky peeking out of dark clouds after torrential rains

 

 

Autozone employees, who in less than 15 minutes had diagnosed and replaced my dying car battery

Watching the Game of Thrones finale with my kids

A walk in the rain to check on the pond and discovering the American Beautyberry bush in full color 

 

 

The great attitudes of those friends and family who did get water in their homes. They have reminded me that...

 

Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same.

~Francesca Reigler

 

You've Got a Friend...

 

 

 

"When you're down and troubled, and you need a helping hand... and nothing, nothing is going right..."

Year ago, I used to cover for our church secretary when she had to be out of the office.

One of the best, but still toughest, parts of the job was answering those calls from people who needed help...with electric bills, rent, doctor's bills, you name it.

Over the years, Tom and I have often had to stretch a paycheck - we've been on both the giving and receiving sides of loans - but each of these calls would suddenly make my own blessings crystal clear, no matter how tough things might have been for us at the time.

 

"Close your eyes and think of me and soon I will be there, to brighten up even your darkest night..."

 

Sure, there are some people who have learned to work the system. They know the agencies to call for help...know how much they can get and how long they have to wait in between calls. But the majority are real people who have found themselves in dire straits with no where else to turn. You can hear it in their voices - the fear of the unknown, the humiliation of having to ask for help, the desperation.

That was the tough part for me - hearing it in their voices. 

With each call I wished I was a millionaire so I could do something for them myself. I tried not to be condescending or pitying or any other "ing"...just tried to sound normal, like this was only a bump in the road that they would soon be over and it was no big deal having to call and ask for help.

 

"You just call out my name and you know wherever I am, I'll come running to see you again..."

 

I couldn't help them monetarily myself - not every one - but with just a phone call to one of several St. Vincent de Paul Society volunteers from our parish, I knew they'd receive aide if they really needed it, whether or not they belonged to our parish. Or any church, for that matter.

They didn't have to be Catholics, or even Christians, for the St. Vincent de Paul Society to help them. They just had to live within our zip code. If they didn't, I could direct them to the right agency.

That was the best part...a feeling that I was helping in some way. 

 

"Winter, spring, summer or fall...all you have to do is call, and I'll be there. You've got a friend."   

 

I've seen the musical "Beautiful", so I don't think Carole King was thinking about the St. Vincent de Paul Society when she wrote "You've Got a Friend", but the song sure fits their mission. 

 

"If the sky above you grows dark and full of clouds and that old north wind begins to blow, keep your head together and call my name out loud. Soon, you'll hear me knocking at your door."

 

Each year our parish holds an annual Oktoberfest to raise money for our St. Vincent de Paul Society and other organizations that help out in the community.  We have music, a children's area full of games; hamburgers, brats, giant pretzels, and beer; a country store and silent auction;, a pie-eating contest, dunking booth, washer tournament, and more.

All the usual festival fun.

But the big fundraiser  - the one that gets the organizations through the rest of the year and determines how much help they can give - is the raffle.  

 

"You just call out my name and you know wherever I am, I'll come running to see you again...winter, spring, summer or fall...all you have to do is call, and I'll be there. You've got a friend."   

 

I wish I could buy all of the tickets...but I can't. This year there are 13,000!

That's why I'm asking you for help. If you're reading this, would you consider buying a ticket? They only cost $5 each, but one ticket gives you a chance to win 5 prizes, and you don't have to be present to win:

 

If you're interested, let me know in the comments or email me, and I'll let you know how to get your ticket. But whether  you buy any tickets or not, please say a prayer that enough money is raised to help all of those who will need it in the coming year.

 

"Ain't it good to know you've got a friend when people can be so cold. They'll hurt you and desert you...and take your soul if you let them...oh, but don't you let them. You just call out my name, and you know wherever I am, I'll come running to see you again.

 

Of course, if you're in the area, please come and join in the fun! It will be on October 14 from 10 am until 3 pm on the parish grounds in Lago Vista. Everyone is welcome! And don't worry about missing the UT-OU game - it will be playing for your enjoyment.

All proceeds benefit not only the St. Vincent de Paul Society, but also the parish Women's Guild and Knights of Columbus, who in turn use the funds to help the disadvantaged in our community. They also provide scholarships, finance youth activities, support seminarians, and provide support for the Lago Vista Volunteers, local emergency response teams, the Annunciation House, and more. 

Thank you in advance. 

 

Winter, spring, summer or fall, all you have to do is call, and I'll be there. You've got a friend."

A Truly Rich Man...

I dreamed of Daddy two nights ago. He stood at a distance from me, like at the end of a hallway, a big smile on his face. And then he was beside me, giving me a hug. We talked, but I don't remember what was said. 

It was Daddy, circa 1980's or 1990's, strong and healthy, and then Mama was there, too, only I didn't recognize her at first because it was her 13-year-old self. 

Dreams can be very strange, can't they? But also very comforting. I miss my mom and dad, but I woke with a sense that they are doing just fine. 

I recently returned from a long visit with my mother-in-law, where I bumped into memories of Pop everywhere, from the carafe of chilled red wine in the refrigerator to games of cribbage and 3-13, and especially in the faces of his sons as they approach the age he was when I met him. 

How blessed I've been to have such wonderful fathers in my life, including the father of my children. None were perfect, but parenthood is a "learn-as-you-go" adventure. They did the best they could. The important thing is that they let love guide them through the uncharted waters (because each child is a new and unique territory!)

You can't go wrong with real honest-to-goodness unconditional love. 

In honor of Father's Day, here's a repeat of an old post, just because it's one of my favorites, along with this one and this one.  I hope you like it, too, and I hope all of you fathers have had a wonderful day, with the love you've given repaid back to you. 

 

What does a father do?

 

A father gives advice 

A father nourishes the body 

and soul 

A father encourages

A father is joyful

A father reads

A father lends a hand 

 

A father plays 

 

A father offers support 

 

A father sticks close by your side

 

A father makes memories

A father teaches 

A father laughs 

A father is gallant

 

A father proves age is just a number

 

A father reaches out 

A father hangs on tight

A father helps you aim high

A father shows pride 

A father sets a good example to follow

A father relaxes

A father listens

 

A father keeps you honest

 

A father helps out

 

A father loves

 

A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty.

~Author Unknown

He's still here... and other sweet!s

Tom and I once spent a week in a downtown Austin high-rise which had fabulous views of the city. It was especially beautiful at night, with the Texas State Capitol and other downtown buildings all lit up.

Unfortunately, that high-rise was Brackenridge Hospital, and Tom wasn't in any shape to appreciate those gorgeous views. He was recovering from a head-on collision that gashed his face and broke a LOT of bones. A morphine drip was his best friend that week.

Friends and family rallied around us, but one of my best friends was a spiral notebook, where I chronicled our visitors, his treatments, and my thoughts, which I gathered for my essay "In the Aftermath of a Car Wreck", eventually published in the State Lines column of the Houston Chronicle's Texas Magazine. 

I've been thinking about that experience more than ever lately, mostly because today is the 19th anniversary of his wreck, but also because Brackenridge Hospital is now empty, scheduled for demolition. All of the patients have been moved to the new Dell Seton Medical Center.

That makes me sad for some reason. I realize it was the amazing staff who saved him, not the building ... the EMTs, the surgeons, the nurses ... and I'm so grateful for them, and that they will still be around, always ready to save another life. 

But even though my memories may not seem like good ones, they are infused with gratitude for our friends and family who were there for us, who stepped in to help and encourage us; for the nurses who cared for him and allowed me to stay in his room; for the plastic surgeon's skill (the scar was barely noticeable after just one week!)

Mostly, I was simply grateful to sit there and watch him sleep, his chest lifting with every breath of life.

He's still here... and that is much more than sweet!

If you have lived, take thankfully the past.

~John Dryden

And now for a few sweet!s from this past week (I'm trying to get back on track with posting these!):

Sunday: not receiving dirty looks when all you contribute to the Women's Guild soup & salad luncheon/meeting is a bag of potato chips because you didn't have time to go to the grocery store after your husband and sons stock up for their fishing weekend out of your refrigerator; your sons and husband having an awesome time together on their boys' weekend, hiking and watching a lightning storm approach on the horizon (and then being safe in their cabin when the actual storm hit); helping a neighbor/friend celebrate his 70th birthday; his awesome birthday cake...

 

Monday: watching a duck fly through your hollow above the creek; meeting with a client and learning about her coaching business; a verbal offer on one of your listings; finally eating at County Line BBQ

 

Tuesday: writing an offer for a cute young couple; being part of a Mastermind Group, committed to helping each other grow; the culture of Keller Williams Realty... supportive rather than competitive ... where agents share their success tips with others, just to be helpful; making it to Beall's with a 40% off Clearance coupon before it expires; everyone making it home safe in a blinding rainstorm; finally noticing a rock-heart embedded in the road where you walk every morning...

 

Wednesday: A clear, cool fall-like morning in May; Belle flushing a cottontail out of the woods and across the road in front of you, with Belle oblivious to its escape; towering yuccas blooming everywhere...

 

Shopping for books for a "summer reading" basket for the Lago Vista ISD Education Foundation fundraiser and managing to resist buying every one you like; starting Italian lessons via a CD series you listen to while driving, in preparation for your trip to Italy; referrals from friends; spotting a walking stick on your back stoop...

 

Thursday: commission checks; being able to pay your bills; dinner with a long-time friend that lasts 3 hours; margaritas made with Deep Eddy's Ruby Red Vodka; an owl swooping low out of the night on your country road

Friday: meeting your son and your daughter's boyfriend for coffee; scratching a lot off of your to-do list; looking forward to celebrating your mother-in-law's birthday with her; Mountain Pinks making their appearance...

 

I hope all of you had a sweet!-filled week, with more waiting for you around the corner. Have a safe and fun Memorial Day weekend, remembering, and giving thanks for, those who believed in our freedom enough to give their lives for it. 

 

 

Just Call Me Ironmom

 

Be proud to wear you.

~Dodinsky

 

Last Saturday my oldest completed an Ironman Triathlon in the Woodlands, Texas.

He was up around 3 am to eat breakfast, left for the competition site at 5 am, and started the swimming portion at 7 am. 

Around 14 hours later, he sprinted across the finish line.

In case you're not familiar with Ironman Triathlons, here's a description, courtesy of Wikipedia...

An Ironman Triathlon is one of a series of long-distance triathlon races organized by the World Triathlon Corporation (WTC), consisting of a 2.4-mile (3.86 km) swim, a 112-mile (180.25 km) bicycle ride and a marathon 26.22-mile (42.20 km) run, raced in that order and without a break.

Ugh! Can you imagine?

And yes, he sprinted across the finish line, racing another participant. 

Crazy! I was exhausted by that point, just moving from spot to spot to catch a glimpse of him!

Sure enough, there were so many people gathered around the finish line that I couldn't see him. But a friend whose wife is an Ironman (yes- it's gender neutral!) sent me this photo from the finish line video...

 Success comes in cans, not cant's.

~Author Unknown

Just watching the Ironman was such a an inspiring experience! 

There were thousands participating, as you can see from all the bikes.

You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them.

~Michael Jordan

While Tommy is young (31) and the image of fitness (you would never know he battled severe asthma when he was young), it was clear from watching one participant after another pass in front of us that an Ironman isn't defined by age, shape, size, or gender.

I would guess the average age is around 50; one of my high school classmates was participating, although I never spotted him, and there were quite a few participants who were obviously older than I am.

Several who were finishing ahead of Tommy would probably be considered overweight, and assumed to be out of shape. We even spotted two blind participants accompanied by guides. They rode tandem bikes. 

While there are some who do this professionally, for most, it's not a race, just a personal goal. What they obviously have in common is something inside that compels them to challenge themselves in this way. 

I admit I don't understand it. I'm not even tempted to run a 5K. I'm happy just running/walking with Belle each morning along our dirt road, and will only do another 30 minutes or so on the treadmill or with my weights to keep my heart, lungs, bones, and muscles in shape for however many more years I'm blessed to be here. 

But that doesn't stop me from being so proud of Tommy, and so amazed and impressed by his accomplishment.

He made it look so easy, with a smile on his face every time we saw him. I think he was happy the day had finally arrived - he had spent months training for it - and also happy that he was getting closer and closer to having it behind him. 

It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.

~Edmund Hillary

 

Confidence is preparation. Everything else is beyond your control.

~Richard Kline

 

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

~Henry Stanley Haskins

 

If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.

~Thomas Edison

 

I will live the free-hand life — I will rise up at dawn, and with sure, unfaltering faith, create the day. I will come at noon, and with the assurance of a master, paint the heavens. I will come at night, and with the confidence of one who cannot fail, hang a million stars in the sky.

~Muriel Strode (1875–1964), "A Soul's Faring: XLI," A Soul's Faring, 1921

 

The day started out warm, but ended unseasonably cool. That's probably perfect for a triathlon, where you start out swimming and end up running.

It reminded me of watching him at middle school track meets on spring afternoon/evenings almost two decades ago, first sweating in the bleachers then shivering under blankets by the time the meet was over, long after sunset.

In high school, he switched to running cross country. He rarely placed at the meets, but he earned the spirit award for never giving up. 

He told us he started out the swim portion of the Ironman doing the backstroke for 1 1/2 miles. That was his event the one summer he was on the Lago Vista swim team, right after 4th grade. 

Oh my gosh, that was a long summer, having to have him (and his two younger siblings, of course) up early and at the pool every morning by 7 am. (Maybe it wasn't every morning, but it seemed like it!) And then every Saturday - every Saturday! - we had to be up and out with the whole gang before sunrise for swim meets that lasted most of the day. 

Of course, looking back now I cherish those days, but at the time... whew! 

After the first swim meet, Tommy wanted to quit. We told him he couldn't, that he needed to finish the season, but then he would never have to do it again if he didn't want to. 

So he finished the season - and never did it again.

I can't say I was sorry at the time, but now I'm grateful for those memories. We bonded with a lot of families who are still our friends today. 

Life is weird, isn't it?

Anyway, we didn't always do everything right as parents, but I like to think this is one thing we did do right... impressing on our kids that if they started something, they needed to finish it. 

Even so,  I know we really can't take credit for the drive and determination it took for Tommy to become an Ironman.  To follow through with his training after he signed up and to cross that finish line.

I do know it's pretty awesome when your kids become your inspiration and role models. (P.S. He's the best insurance agent you'll ever find!)

Don't live down to expectations. Go out there and do something remarkable.

~Wendy Wasserstein

 

Marilyn

A friend of mine died yesterday, my Aunt Becky died the day before (the last of that generation on my side of the family) and within the past couple of weeks, four high school friends have lost a parent. 

On top of that, today is my birthday, the first one since my mom died.

Naturally, I'm writing a blog post. I need to get my thoughts sorted out, and this is where I do it. It's my therapy. 

Marilyn, my friend who died yesterday morning, checked herself into the hospital a couple of weeks ago. According to her post on Facebook - from the hospital - she had googled her symptoms and thought she was just dehydrated.

It turned out she had sepsis, plus a few other issues. They put her right into ICU and sedated her so she wouldn't fight the ventilator they put in place to keep her airway open. 

So that was her last post. 

In it she mentioned being a little worried because she was the sole breadwinner (her husband is disabled) and she had already used up all of her sick days at her new job by having the flu the week before. But as usual, the post ended on a positive note, putting her trust in God to sort things out. She hoped to be back at work in a few days. 

I hope my last Facebook post ends on a positive note. 

I first met Marilyn in the summer after 4th grade at a summer school creative writing workshop. I'm not sure if we ever actually spoke... I was really shy ... but she made an impression on me. We went to junior high and high school together, but I still really didn't know her back then.

Fast forward a few decades when, thanks to the miracle of Facebook, we reconnected and discovered we had both escaped to the Texas Hill Country. She only lived a couple of hours away.

Still, we only saw each other a handful of times after that. First, at one of our Shake Russell house concerts, then at another classmates' house who lived just a few miles away. It turned out they went to the same church and didn't even realize it. 

She made it back out to my house for a surprise birthday party for another classmate. It was an official Deer Park Diva gathering.

Then we met up at the Keller Williams Mega Camp in Austin in 2014. We were both new agents. In fact, she made the decision right before I did and was a huge influence on my own decision. 

We helped each other through the tough times of starting our own businesses. Well, I think she helped me more than I helped her. She was great at listings, and was always there if I needed an ear or some advice. I was surprised when she made the decision to leave real estate a few months ago, but she felt, for her family's sake, she needed a regular paycheck and regular hours. 

It seems surreal to me that she's gone. Granted, she had some medical issues I wasn't aware of, but that's because she was always so positive and energetic. So full of life. She never complained about anything and was always quick to help anyone in need. 

I regret I didn't know her better when we were younger, but I'm grateful I had a chance to get to know her before it was too late. I also regret we didn't follow through on our many intentions of getting together again, but I'm grateful that we did see each other a few times, and I'm very grateful for the ease of communication these days, despite distances, via Facebook or email or text messaging or phone calls. 

Please keep her family in your prayers. From what I understand, Marilyn took care of everything. Her husband will be lost for quite awhile. And Marilyn, the youngest of three sisters, was still mourning the death of the middle sister from cancer. Now within a few months, the eldest has lost both of her younger sisters. I can't imagine that heartbreak.  

Because I knew that Marilyn worked so hard for her family, I started a Go Fund Me page. I felt it was the best way to help her, and now I feel it's the best way to honor her memory. If you'd like to contribute, just click on the link.  

But now back to my birthday tomorrow. While I still think of it as a gift that I've somehow made it to 58, especially when so many of my classmates have already passed away, I'm starting to think of it as more than that. It's an assignment. We are here for a reason, to somehow make this world better, even if it's just day by day. 

Marilyn did. Not in a big production, but in the way she lived, the way she loved, the way she gave. She straddled each hurdle with a smile on her face and kept going, full of faith in God and others. We may not always see the big picture, but I think if we just focus on the little picture, of being as kind, positive, and helpful as possible, the big picture falls into place.

Do small things with great love. ~

St. Theresa of Calcutta

 

Shallue Go Bragh! (revisited)

 

May you always walk in sunshine.
May you never want for more.
May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door.

Happy St. Patrick's Day! This is mostly a repost, slightly updated, but when you can trace your husband's family back to Ireland in just a handful of generations, what else is there to blog about on St. Paddy's Day? I hope you enjoy it, even if you've read it before!

 

 

Bridget Shallue was just 52, younger than I am now and already a widow, when she said goodbye to Ireland in 1852 with her grown children...chased away by the potato famine, I'm sure.

If she ever returned, it isn't mentioned in the family lore.

Accompanied by two daughters and two sons, Bridget first arrived in Quebec, traveled to New York, and finally settled in Wisconsin in 1856.

One daughter died on the passage from Ireland and was buried at sea. Two older sons chose Australia over America to begin their new life. I doubt if she ever saw them again; her goodbye to those sons was probably as final and heartbreaking as her goodbye to her home, her homeland and her husband Thomas's grave - he had died just a few years before, at age 45.

And then the added heartbreak of watching a daughter's lifeless body disappear into the ocean...heartbreak I just can't imagine.

My own Tom Shallue and I found all of this out shortly after we were married, by talking to relatives and researching in libraries. We traced his family back to Ennistyman, County Clare...to that first Tom's grave, but that was as far as we could go. There was no Internet twenty-five years ago, no Ancestry.com, and we couldn't afford a trip over to do our own research or to hire a professional to do it for us.

It hit me that I knew more about the Shallue history than my Wilson's, so the next few years I focused my genealogical fervor on that line and other branches of my family ... for example, my great-great grandfather George, memoir writer and protagonist of (one of) my book-in-progress.

But today is St. Patrick's Day and my thoughts are green...drawn toward the Shallue family and Ireland. Tom and I dream of traveling there one day, visiting the places that are only names on a map to us right now. 

It would be extra fun to travel there with my son and daughter-in-law, Kirby, whose Irish-born grandmother left for the United States when just a teenager. She still has semi-close relatives living there. Even now, decades later, her grandmother hasn't lost her beautiful Irish accent!  

The photo above isn't the final resting place of a direct descendant - it was taken by an aunt or cousin on a visit to Ireland several years ago - but it's no doubt a relative's final resting place because every Shallue is related. There just aren't that many!

Even these very names...James, Margaret and Denis Shallue...are echoed on tombstones on both sides of the ocean.

The Australian Shallues were always a mystery to the American branch. Rumor had it those brothers got on the wrong boat...they went to Australia totally by accident! But even though the American and Australian Shallues have connected on Facebook and Instagram, I still haven't gotten any clear answers about how they ended up there.

Tonight we'll be celebrating St. Paddy's Day with dear friends... the very Irish Monahans. There will be Guiness and Irish music and way too much corned beef, cabbage, potatoes, Irish soda bread, and no telling what else to eat. I can't wait!

Here's wishing all of you a happy St. Patrick's Day, too! And may God give you...

For every storm, a rainbow,
For every tear, a smile,
For every care, a promise,
And a blessing in each trial.
For every problem life sends,
A faithful friend to share,
For every sigh, a sweet song,
And an answer for each prayer.

 

One of life's sweet surprises...

 

It's hard for me to believe it now, but there was a time in my life when I wasn't sure I wanted to be a mother. I mean, kids can be so annoying and demanding! (I know I was!)

 

 

I thank God every single day that he changed my mind and blessed me with my three amazing kids, beginning with the one who turns 31 today.

Long gone are the days when I was in charge of his celebrations. He now plans his own, and with his wife's help, does a much better job than I ever did. Today he is exploring Cuba!

He promised we could celebrate together when he returns, because today is special for me, too - my 31st anniversary of becoming a mother. Truly the most life-changing, gratifying, challenging, and amazing job I could ever have imagined, even now that they are grown.

 

 

 

They continue to make me laugh, and continually amaze, challenge, encourage, inspire, motivate, support, and teach me. 

 

 

...And yes, sometimes worry me, but that's because I'm a mom, and I wouldn't have it any other way. 

So happy birthday, Tommy. May you continue to embrace and enjoy this life, and receive as much joy as you give to me and others. I hope today you are having fun adventures and collecting tons of priceless memories in Cuba, and they are just the beginning of another awesome year.

Love and thanks,

Mom

"The first fact about the celebration of birthdays is that it is a good way of affirming defiantly, and even flamboyantly, that it is a good thing to be alive." ~G.K. Chesterton

 

Where Do I Begin?

My dear, dear blog,

I have had so many good intentions of writing to you over the past few weeks, but alas, they got lost in the dust stirred up by time racing by. And now here it is, the first of December, and all I've written you since August are two little birthday posts. 

Enough is enough. It's time to catch you up on all that's been happening around here....so many things worthy of their own blog post - in my opinion, at least - but a condensed version will have to suffice.

First of all, you may remember that last year at this time my eldest was in New Zealand, celebrating his 30th birthday.

Well, guess where he is tonight? Cuba! He'll be celebrating his 31st birthday there in a couple of days, traveling to some of the smaller towns, meeting the locals, and soaking it all up. 

For him and his adventurous wife, it was a pretty spur-of-the-moment trip, although they've gotten really good at researching and planning their vacations.

For example, they explored Iceland in August via a camper van. I hadn't even gotten around to telling you about that! 

That is just not like me. 

I'm so grateful for their photos, Facebook, and their adventurous spirits. 

 

*************

Tom and I took a road trip to Florida to celebrate Thanksgiving with his mom. Although I call her a couple of times a month, somehow a year and a half had passed without me seeing her in person. Tom traveled there for her birthday in May, but I just couldn't get away. (My business exploded after my mom passed away. I think she stirred things up. Thank you, Mama!)

My mother-in-law is an amazing lady, so sharp and energetic, with such a positive outlook on life. I'm determined to help her celebrate her next birthday in May. 

On this trip there was a lot of card-playing, television-watching, and sleeping. In other words, it was a true vacation! Plus, my sweet sister- and brother-in-law took me to my favorite antique/thrift store where you can still find bargains. 

And then they hosted Thanksgiving, with another brother- and sister-in-law driving up from central Florida who I hadn't seen since Pop's funeral in 2012. 

Overall it was an awesome trip. No beach...nothing exciting or fancy....but absolutely wonderful. 

The week flew by for me - and then I had to fly home. By May I plan to have systems in place that allow me to stay the whole time. 

 

**********************

On our way to Florida, we stopped in Houston to help one of our oldest friends celebrate his 60th birthday. Bob was in the Coast Guard with Tom, and except for Tom's roommate David (who was also at the party), Bob and his wife Lisa were the first of Tom's friends I met.

They always hosted the best New Year's Eve parties, which included silly interactive games which ensured everyone got to know each other fast... sometimes pretty intimately. 

(No, not that intimately. Totally innocent. Just sort of embarrassing, in a junior high kind of way.)

Anyway, we played them again at Bob's birthday party. It's a great way to peel away 30+ years!

No photos of the games, though, just us and our dear friends...

 

There are no friends like old friends, right? I'm very grateful for these!

 

**********************

My daughter-in-law turned 29 a few weeks ago. For her 30th birthday next year, they are already planning a trip to Italy, so she has been taking Italian lessons, and to celebrate her birthday, we joined her at an awesome Italian restaurant in Austin, Vespaio. 

Afterwards, we went to Cedar Street Courtyard and enjoyed a Spazmatics concert. It had nothing to do with Italy, but it was a lot of fun and worth staying up late on a Wednesday night!

 

*********************

 

This is a terrible photo of a photo from my 16th birthday. That's my grandmother on my right, my sister on my left, and my brother-in-law Boyce behind me. 

I was 10 when my sister went on a blind date with Boyce. Five years later they were married, and they stayed that way for a very long time. He was absolutely the funniest person I've every met, very loyal, smart, helpful... but a very complicated person. 

He loved to embarrass me, but was one of my most ardent cheerleaders, too, keeping me humble and building me up at the same time. He was one of my best friends. 

Boyce and my sister were second parents to me when my parents divorced, giving me valuable guidance, financial advice, and stability. 

But he was also bi-polar (we later realized) and it got worse as he got older. They eventually divorced, but remained friends, and he always remained my big brother, a dear friend, and one of the funniest people I've ever known. My parents adored him. 

So it broke my heart when he passed away several weeks ago after almost a year of severe illness. 

May you rest in peace, Boyce. I love you, and thank you for being such an awesome big brother. 

 

************************

If you're a fan of the HGTV show Fixer-Upper, then you are familiar with Magnolia Market.

I finally got to visit it in person!

******************

 

I always love helping my clients, whether buyers or sellers, realize their real estate goal or dream. But I recently had the joy of helping my son's best friend and his wife (who is also one of my son's long time friends I've watched grow up) move back to Austin from Washington D.C. and buy their first home - a really cool modern home in east Austin. 

They were so much fun to work with - they had thought it out thoroughly and knew their priorities. There was one house they kept coming back to... and they got it. I'm so grateful they let me help them in their adventure. And I'm so happy they are back in Austin!

 

I had a little adventure of my own on the way to their closing... a flat on a major highway!

I made the mistake of pulling off on the left shoulder, but fortunately an awesome Austin policeman came to my rescue. With his car, he blocked traffic on the highway so I could get across to the exit, then blocked traffic on the feeder so I could pull into an Academy parking lot. Then he proceeded to change my tire until the highway assistance truck arrived and took over. 

His name is Office Wally and he's my hero. 

 

I still made it to the closing, though, because my awesome son met me at the tire store, gave me his car, and waited there while mine was repaired. Later, he met us for brunch to celebrate the closing and we traded back.

What might have been a horrible day turned out to be wonderful, thanks to Officer Wally and Tommy. 

 

******************************

 

 

 

For something like 15 years, I've been retreating to the beach in Port Aransas each fall with friends. I've truly lost count of the number of years.

A few of the faces have remained the same, but every year there are some changes. 

This year was extra special because one of the ladies - who happens to be the daughter of one of the originals, but who has been joining us since she turned 21 ten years ago when we picked her up at the Corpus Christi airport and now she essentially keeps the whole thing organized... um, where was I?

Oh, yes, Lauren is expecting her first baby, so we gave her a surprise baby shower. 

That was definitely a first. 

A lot of us also went out dancing one night and witnessed some fights (and subsequently knew it was time to leave) so it all balanced out and was yet another memorable weekend that will blur together with all of the others into a blissful montage that I remember distinctly but can't keep straight from year to year. 

 

******************

And that's it for now. Those are just the highlights of the past couple of months. In between these big blessings are so many small ones that are easily overlooked, and I feel guilty for not sharing those.

But I do hope you have been keeping an eye open for them. To me, they are the most powerful... the quiet reminders of hope and God's love. 

Until next time... whenever that may be. 

Love,

Barbara

 

"Let a joy keep you. Reach out your hands and take it when it runs by"

~Carl Sandburg

 

Lesson #85 (Happy Birthday in Heaven, Mama!)

 


When I asked my mom what she wanted for her birthday last year, she thought for a minute, then said "More time." 

I had a feeling it would be the last birthday we celebrated with her on earth; I think she knew it would be. And who knows... maybe she got her birthday wish. Maybe we were blessed with more time with her, and she with us, than was originally scheduled.

Even so, it doesn't feel like enough.

 

 

This morning, when I was wishing I could celebrate her birthday with her again, with Tom and the kids and my siblings and cousin Pat, it hit me that she now had more family gathered around to sing "Happy Birthday" to her in heaven than she does here on earth. 

She has Daddy, her mom and dad, all of her siblings, all of her in-laws, most of her cousins, many of her best friends, nieces, and nephews, and my father-in-law. She also has my older brother, Buster, my sister-in-law Haila, and my ex-brother-in-law, Boyce, who just passed away a few weeks ago.

(Boyce always sent the best birthday cards, anyway - I'm saving all of them I come across. I bet he has her giggling today.)

It was a wonderful image in my mind, of all of them gathered around her, and despite the ache in my heart from missing her, I smiled. 

 

 

After going through Mama and Daddy's things over the past few months, especially letters and cards from friends and family, I've learned something that goes beyond Lesson #84 ("Appreciate every second you're given, because life is beautiful.") 

We need to take advantage of every chance to spend time with family and friends, and be sure they know they can count on us if they need us. 

Because, like most of us, Mama was often irritated with one person or another. She could give Daddy the silent treatment for days if he stepped out of line... a talent I truly envy. I just can't stay mad long enough to get a point across.  

Yet, you never had to doubt her devotion or love, and I really doubt if anyone except Daddy (or her children) ever knew she was irritated at them. If you needed anything, she was there in a heartbeat.  

In fact, reading through all of the cards, flipping back through memories, you could say she was the heartbeat of the family. Everyone depended on her, and she was always there for them. 

 

 

It's a lesson that she's been teaching me my entire lifetime, but it has truly been driven home for me in the last four years, after losing so many people who are precious to me in such a short time... my father-in-law, my dad, my mom, a childhood friend, and my ex-brother-in-law (who was essentially another brother.)

Life is just too short, period. Spend time with your friends and family when you get the chance, even if you're tired and don't really feel like it. Give them a call and let them know you care. Let them know you're there if they need you.

That's really all we're here for, anyway. 

"...and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: "Love your neighbor as yourself". No other commandment is greater than these. "

Mama, thank you for all the lessons you gave me, whether intentional or not. You taught more by example than words... just another clue to what a wise woman I was blessed to have as my mother. 

 

 

On her 77th birthday, I listed the things she had taught me, and I've added to it every year. So without further ado, here's the list...

Things Mama has taught me...

1. it's never too late to learn something new
2. if you have a choice between laughter and tears, choose laughter.
3. don't let anyone mess with your babies!
4. only give advice when asked for it (I'm still working on that one)
5. pray every day
6. pray some more
7. reading a good book might not solve your problems, but it's a nice escape from them
8. bend but never break
9. some people are just takers
10. be nice whenever possible, but sometimes nice doesn't cut it
11. take care of family
12. we're all individuals - let your kids blossom into themselves, not "mini-me's"
13. be there
14. Johnny Weismuller is the best movie Tarzan
15. don't be in a rush to be older than you are - you're only going to be this age once in your life
16. if you like something, and you'll use it, and you can afford it, then buy it, or you'll regret it later
17. quality over quantity
18. never think "can't"
19. people will stand in line for a dead skunk if it's free
20. roll with the punches
21. have fun
22. laugh often
23. believe in yourself
24. don't let others change who you are
25. be honest
26. don't steal
27. forgive yourself
28. God loves me
29. don't judge
30. just do it!
31. inside matters more than outside
32. don't use God's name in vain
33. you can learn anything if you put your mind to it
34. you're never too old to dance
35. it's okay to ask for help
36. show appreciation and express gratitude
37. use my manners
38. consider the source
39. an office or position of authority should be respected, but the individual in that position has to earn your respect
40. sleep is good
41. take advantage of opportunities
42. keep your eyes open and your wits about you
43. people aren't always nice
44. things can't make you happy
45. use your imagination
46. just get started and the rest will be easy
47. don't be intimidated by anyone - we're all the same, all human, we all have strengths and weaknesses
48. you can love someone even if you don't like them
49. forgive but don't forget
50. learn from others' mistakes
51. there are times for being patient, and time for putting your foot down
52. speak up
53. stand up for what you believe in
54. admit your mistakes and expect others to do the same
55. persistance pays off
56. let your kids be kids
57. love unconditionally
58. take lots of pictures
59. kids grow up fast
60. your kids need a mother, not another friend
61. pets are family
62. help others
63. a sense of humor is essential for sanity and survival
64. if you look close enough, you can find something to love about everyone
65. coffee is good anytime
66. messes can be cleaned up
67. prayer works
68. God is strong all the time - let him carry you
69. if you say you're going to do something, do it
70. be nice to yourself in case no one else is
71. you have to show respect to get respect
72. girls are tough
73. don't put up with temper tantrums - yours or someone else's
74. listen to your body - doctors don't know everything
75. don't say everything you're thinking
76. asking questions is the best way to learn something
77. your babies are always your babies (and their babies are your babies, too!)
78. God is. 
79. Just listen. 
80. people are more important than things
    
81. there is a time to help others, and a time to let others help you
82. God has his reasons, and He will give you whatever strength you need for the road ahead...and never leave you to walk it alone.
83. smile and show appreciation to those who are willing to help you - they may have it tougher than you in many ways
84. Appreciate every second you're given, because life is beautiful.
85. Treasure the people in your life; take advantage of every chance you have to be with them, or to help them, even on days you don't like them.

    "At the end of the day, a loving family should find everything forgivable."

~Mark V. Olsen and Will Sheffer, Big Love, "Easter"

 

"All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother." ~Abraham Lincoln

Love you, Mama. Happy birthday, and God bless you!  

Thirty-Four Years... wait, thirty-four years?

 

One thing you learn in a long marriage is how many sneezes to wait before saying, "Bless you."

~Robert Brault

 

 

Aren't we cute? It's hard to believe that was 34 years ago.

Well, actually what's hard for me to believe is we're 34 years older than we were in that photo! We were newly pronounced man and wife, and eager to move forward together as one, beginning with a honeymoon in the Bahamas. 

And that's how I still picture us in my mind.

 

One of the good things that come of a true marriage is, that there is one face on which changes come without your seeing them; or rather there is one face which you can still see the same, through all the shadows which years have gathered upon it.

~George MacDonald

 

Thirty-four years  have passed in a blur of laughter, tears, frustration, relief, adventure, illness, challenge, excitement, celebration, perseverance, love, forgiveness, and blessings too numerous to count. 

 

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

~ 1 Corinthians 13:7

 

I didn't realize it at the time, of course, but looking back it's easy to see that God directed our footsteps to each other. As I mentioned in my last post, I believe God gives us what we need to get over the bumps he knows we will encounter in our lives. I also believe he provides what we need to challenge us and make us the best 'us' we can be, if we let him. 

And while I don't always see it or appreciate it enough, Tom has definitely done both for me, supporting and indulging me in my dreams ... encouraging, challenging, and believing in me when my self-confidence wavers. 

Through him, because of him, I rediscovered my faith and God's great love. And I wouldn't have survived the past few years without that. 

I can only hope Tom feels I've been more of a blessing than a curse in his life, too. I think too often he believes I have this philosophy...

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

~Rita Rudner

 

For all of you youngsters just starting out, wondering what the secret is to a long marriage, I'll confess that I'm still not sure. But I do have three tips:

1. Ask God to help you love your spouse with His love (because yours won't be enough sometimes!)

2. Procrastination can be your friend. 

3. I didn't think of this one, but it's a good one: "To keep the fire burning brightly there's one easy rule: Keep the two logs together, near enough to keep each other warm and far enough apart — about a finger's breadth — for breathing room. Good fire, good marriage, same rule." ~Marnie Reed Crowell

 

Happy 34th anniversary to my amazing, crazy, gifted, stubborn, generous Tom. I give thanks every single day for you, and for all of the beautiful, tiny threads of our life that bind us together.

 

Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years.

~Simone Signoret

 

Sweet is the voice of a sister...

 

Sweet is the voice of a sister in the season of sorrow, and wise is the counsel of those who love us.

~Benjamin Disraeli

 

When Mama found out she was pregnant with me, she and Daddy already had three children... Buster, 11; Brenda, 7; and Donnie, 4.

Brenda, sandwiched between those two rowdy boys, told Mama, "If that's another boy, I'll just scream!" and Mama said "I'll join you!" Mama loved to tell me that story, and I loved to hear it!

God, in his infinite mercy, sent them a baby girl (me!), but he also had mercy on me by sending me to them. I believe God, knowing what is to come in our lives, gives us whatever we need to get over the bumps, and for me, that started with my family, including - and maybe, especially - my sister, Brenda. 

 

"And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus."

~ Philippians 4:19

From my first breath, she has been there for me, right next to my mother and father, loving me with that same unconditional love that now causes her to relate stories of my brattiness - like hitting a friend of hers with a baton when I was three and they were eleven because they wouldn't let me play Monopoly - as if that was the cutest thing in the world!

Monopoly-exclusion aside, for the most part she always made me feel like a peer, letting me tag along with her and her boyfriends, or even just doing things with me, like going to the movies or the beach or on road trips to visit our grandparents.

I've already written about those days here and here and here. And last year I wrote here about how grateful I was to have her by my side as we said goodbye to our childhood home.

But I've never been more grateful to God for my big sister than this past year when she joined me to stand vigil by Mama's side in the hospital as we said goodbye.

Brenda worried she would just be more trouble for me, or get in my way, because her Parkinson's makes it difficult for her to walk. And that first night was difficult, because my house is such a physical challenge. For one thing, there's a 30 to 40 foot inclined stone path leading to our front door. It's beautiful, and I love it, but it's even difficult for me to get up and down it sometimes. 

So we opted to stay in a hotel close to the hospital the rest of the time she was here. Much easier on both of us. And the memories of us grabbing something to eat, then watching HGTV together in our hotel room while sipping on tiny bottles of Cabernet, will forever soften the overall heartache of my mother's passing.

Brenda's presence recharged me... helped me recognize the grace and love surrounding us... and gave me the strength and clarity I needed to let go. 

I realize God put me in my sister's life for a reason, too, and I only hope that she feels I've been as much of a gift and blessing as she's been to me all of my life. 

Today is her birthday. To celebrate, she traveled to Louisiana yesterday for a night of gambling, and I'm happy to report she won;  she's a craps and blackjack queen. I'm grateful she's surrounded by friends who love her, since I'm hours away, to be sure she receives even a portion of the love and laughter she gives to others. 

 

A sister is a gift to the heart, a friend to the spirit, a golden thread to the meaning of life.

~Isadora James

 

Amen!

Happy birthday to my beautiful big sister, Brenda! I love you!

 

 

 

 

The Last First 25 Years...

 

"The first fact about the celebration of birthdays is that it is a good way of affirming defiantly, and even flamboyantly, that it is a good thing to be alive."

~G.K. Chesterton, "Our Birthday," 1935

 

 

TG turned 25 two weeks ago. She spent it floating the San Marcos River with her boyfriend, brothers, sister-in-law, and other friends, while I snuck away for a weekend with my Divas  at Lake Livingston.

But she let us celebrate it when I returned with her favorites: pizza, chocolate cake (courtesy of my daughter-in-law) and a surprise bottle of champagne, because she really never asks for anything.

Only fitting for a first quarter century birthday, right?

 

 

However, I've felt like a terrible mom and blogger that I haven't wished her a happy birthday here yet, as I always do. But I've been trying to sort out my thoughts about my baby - my youngest baby - turning 25. It's a true milestone for both of us!

I can't put it off any longer, though. I'll just try my best to sort them out now...

 

 

She was my last baby. But from the time a baby draws its first breath, it begins growing up, a steady progression from infant to toddler to pre-teen to college student to grown-up. There's nothing you can do to stop it, even if you wanted to.

But why would you want to? Each age of your child is an amazing thing to behold, even when they get so grown it makes you realize how old you are and how fast your life is flying by. 

 

This past year has been one of transition and clarity. When I realized my mom was going downhill... when I  sensed that my time with her on earth was limited... my focus shifted to just being there for her, making sure she knew she wasn't alone. 

Looking back, I can see that TG shifted her focus at the same time, whether she knew it or not... except it was to be there for me, to be sure I knew I wasn't alone as my mother drifted further away from me.

So instead of sad memories filling those last few months, I remember a lot of bantering and teasing and my mother's eyes lit with joy at the sight of her beautiful, funny, smart granddaughter. There are memories of us laughing at corny Hallmark movies, Walker-Texas Ranger, and the Golden Girls, and of getting up earlier than normal on Sunday mornings to maneuver Mama's wheelchair into the chapel for Baptist services.

I'll never forget TG passing out hymnals, charming the other residents, and holding up her hymnal where Mama could see it. 

It had been TG's idea to attend the services with Mama, so it's to her that I'm eternally grateful for my last "truly alive" memories of Mama: the feel of her hand clinging to mine while three generations sang the hymns of my childhood together. 

And then, of course, TG and Daniel were both there beside me during that long night in the hospital as I said my last goodbye to Mama. They were no longer children needing my attention,  just there for me and their grandmother ... friends supporting us and helping me have strength to be there for my own mom as she traveled past the pain of this life. 

The thing is (as my mother loved to say)... somewhere along the way, when I wasn't looking, my babies grew up.

And it's an amazing thing to behold. 

 

Happy 25th birthday, TG!

I hope the next quarter century is filled with love, laughter, and wonderful memories.

Your sweet soul deserves it.

I love you, precious girl. 

"A daughter is a little girl who grows up to be a friend." ~Author Unknown

  

A Different Kind of Mother's Day

My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune.

~Graycie Harmon 

When you think about it, life is so very fragile, so touch and go, and there are so many things that can go wrong - that do go wrong sometimes - that it's a miracle any of us are even here. 

When you think about the pain of childbirth, the exhaustion of taking care of an infant, a toddler, a teenager, it's a miracle any of us are born, much less survive into adulthood. 

So all of us are lucky just to be alive. But let's face it ... some of us are luckier than others, and I think I'm one of them, because I'm my mother's daughter.

I was born to a mother who loved her children with God's love - selfless and unconditional. The four of us had the security of that soft cushion of love at all times, no matter what we did.

Now, it didn't mean we got everything we wanted, or we could do anything we wanted. Love ... real motherly love ... means placing boundaries, setting limits, doling out consequences. She let us know when we crossed those lines. I felt the sting of spankings and felt the heart-wrenching pain of guilt, and I knew its source was Love.

Like Mary Poppins' spoonful of sugar that helped the medicine go down, my mother taught us by example that Laughter makes life easier. It sweetens the inevitable sour. We can't foresee or control what life has in store for us, but we sure as hell can laugh about it!

On Mother's Day and every day, I thank God for my beautiful, loving mother, and for her laughter which will live in my heart forever ...

...  for my wonderful mother-in-law, who raised 9 boys into wonderful men, and who welcomed me into her heart as a daughter...

...for my beloved grandmothers, amazing women who overcame the heartbreaks and adversity and hardships of life with grace and laughter... who taught me the secrets to survival and happiness...

.. for my friends, kids, and family who sent me so much love and support on this first Mother's Day since my mother passed. 

(Tulips from my sister and her husband!)

To all mothers, in all shapes and forms, hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day weekend. To those who can't be with their own mothers this weekend, or with their sons or daughters, remember their love is always with them, inside and out.

I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.

~ Abraham Lincoln 

(A slightly edited re-post, but still sincere in my wishes! Happy Mother's Day! I was blessed to spend the day with all of my kids, the originals and the add-ons, and to help celebrate other mothers and their mothers. I have been blown away with the messages and expressions of love and support. A friend even played "Lily of the Valley" in honor of my mom after church services this morning. It has truly helped. May God bless each and every one of you, and your mothers!)

 

To all God's beloved... who are called to be saints...

To all God's beloved who are called to be saints: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

~Romans 1:7  

"The memory of those who have gone before us, to whom we are linked by bonds of fidelity and gratitude, must also accompany us in all the acts of our daily life. For this is the memorial they deserve; this resounds to their honor; this is the spirit of Christian prayer for the dead, which is inseparable from Christian life and practice."

~ St. John XXIII

 

A week ago this evening, I watched my mom breathe her last breath.

What a blessing it was that Daniel and TG had joined me in the vigil that had begun the day before, in case I needed to get some sleep. I didn't want Mama to be alone when she passed. 

And we knew she was going to pass soon. 

She had spent a week in the Intensive Care Unit, mostly unresponsive. She couldn't breathe on her own without a mask covering her face, and when the antibiotics failed to control the infection, we knew it was time to take off the mask and make her as comfortable as possible as she transitioned into her new life in heaven. Her body was just worn out. 

For the most part, I've been at peace, thanks to my faith and for my almost daily visits with my mom over the past few years, which provided me with a huge cache of hugs, smiles, and kisses for the future.

She kept a smile on her face and made the best of things up until the end, but I know she is now in a much better place, holding hands with Daddy, free of her aging body that struggled so hard to breathe. 

In her honor (and for my benefit), I've decided to re-post my words from her last birthday. I have a feeling she knew, as I suspected, it would be her last birthday here on this earth...

 

 

Last week I asked my mom what she wanted for her birthday. She stared off for a few seconds, then looked at me and said "More time."

But there was a twinkle in her eye, and her mouth turned up in a grin as she added, "Can you tell I live in the present?"

What a wise woman. 

Even now, anchored to an oxygen machine, rarely leaving the small room she shares with another woman, and having to rely on others for even the simplest things, like having a glass of water near enough to drink, Mama finds enough joy in life to want to stick around awhile longer.

I know it isn't because she's afraid of death. My mom is a Christian. She has taught me all my life - and I know she believes it most of the time - that there is life after death, much more beautiful than this one, free of pain and sorrow. Most of her loved ones have gone before her...her parents, siblings, her firstborn, and her beloved husband.  

Despite what her life appears to be to us, she is still loving it. Her smile is always close to the surface, and she laughs often, finding joy in the simplest things. She loves her aides and nurses, her cups of coffee, her cookies, and the photos of Daddy, her kids, grandkids, and great-granddaughter hanging on the walls.

She does NOT like being told what to do, but that's understandable after years of being such an independent woman and caregiver to others.

For her sake - actually, for mine - I hope she gets her birthday wish, and that she finds joy in every extra second she is given. I believe she will. I know I will.

And in her honor, I will try my best not to waste a single second of the time I'm given with remorse or regrets of the past, or with wishing away my today for some future moment that may never come.

I will continue to keep my eyes open for even the simplest sweet!s. Today they will include picking up some fried shrimp for her birthday dinner, then gathering with family to celebrate her and give thanks that she's in our lives.

 

On her 77th birthday, I listed the things she had taught me, and I've added to it every year. So without further ado, here's the list...

Things Mama has taught me...

1. it's never too late to learn something new
2. if you have a choice between laughter and tears, choose laughter.
3. don't let anyone mess with your babies!
4. only give advice when asked for it (I'm still working on that one)
5. pray every day
6. pray some more
7. reading a good book might not solve your problems, but it's a nice escape from them
8. bend but never break
9. some people are just takers
10. be nice whenever possible, but sometimes nice doesn't cut it
11. take care of family
12. we're all individuals - let your kids blossom into themselves, not "mini-me's"
13. be there
14. Johnny Weismuller is the best movie Tarzan
15. don't be in a rush to be older than you are - you're only going to be this age once in your life
16. if you like something, and you'll use it, and you can afford it, then buy it, or you'll regret it later
17. quality over quantity
18. never think "can't"
19. people will stand in line for a dead skunk if it's free
20. roll with the punches
21. have fun
22. laugh often
23. believe in yourself
24. don't let others change who you are
25. be honest
26. don't steal
27. forgive yourself
28. God loves me
29. don't judge
30. just do it!
31. inside matters more than outside
32. don't use God's name in vain
33. you can learn anything if you put your mind to it
34. you're never too old to dance
35. it's okay to ask for help
36. show appreciation and express gratitude
37. use my manners
38. consider the source
39. an office or position of authority should be respected, but the individual in that position has to earn your respect
40. sleep is good
41. take advantage of opportunities
42. keep your eyes open and your wits about you
43. people aren't always nice
44. things can't make you happy
45. use your imagination
46. just get started and the rest will be easy
47. don't be intimidated by anyone - we're all the same, all human, we all have strengths and weaknesses
48. you can love someone even if you don't like them
49. forgive but don't forget
50. learn from others' mistakes
51. there are times for being patient, and time for putting your foot down
52. speak up
53. stand up for what you believe in
54. admit your mistakes and expect others to do the same
55. persistance pays off
56. let your kids be kids
57. love unconditionally
58. take lots of pictures
59. kids grow up fast
60. your kids need a mother, not another friend
61. pets are family
62. help others
63. a sense of humor is essential for sanity and survival
64. if you look close enough, you can find something to love about everyone
65. coffee is good anytime
66. messes can be cleaned up
67. prayer works
68. God is strong all the time - let him carry you
69. if you say you're going to do something, do it
70. be nice to yourself in case no one else is
71. you have to show respect to get respect
72. girls are tough
73. don't put up with temper tantrums - yours or someone else's
74. listen to your body - doctors don't know everything
75. don't say everything you're thinking
76. asking questions is the best way to learn something
77. your babies are always your babies (and their babies are your babies, too!)
78. God is. 
79. Just listen. 
80. people are more important than things
    
81. there is a time to help others, and a time to let others help you
82. God has his reasons, and He will give you whatever strength you need for the road ahead...and never leave you to walk it alone.
83. smile and show appreciation to those who are willing to help you - they may have it tougher than you in many ways
84. Appreciate every second you're given, because life is beautiful.

 

Rest in peace, my beautiful Mama. We will be okay. You saw to that. Please give Daddy a hug from me. 

 

Call your mother. Tell her you love her. Remember, you're the only person who knows what her heart sounds like from the inside.

~Rachel Wolchin

A Triple Celebration Day... and other sweet!s

 

 

Starting a sweet! journal was a great idea! For once, I've remembered to record them every day.

(At least for three weeks. But I think that's a record.)

I keep the journal open on my bathroom counter. Every evening I'm reminded to reflect on the day and the blessings I've received. It's funny how I might have to dig deep to think of the first one, but once it's out in the open, others start popping up with little effort. 

This past Saturday was sweet! all day long, because I spent the day celebrating happy occasions with friends.  It started with the wedding of a beautiful woman at our church... someone who is energetic and passionate and always giving of herself. I'm so glad she found someone who can obviously see and appreciate how beautiful she truly is.

 

 

I had time to witness the very moving ceremony (I don't usually cry at weddings, but when the groom choked up at this one, my eyes welled up along with his!) and visit with a few friends at the reception before heading down the road to a bridal brunch. 

 

 

You probably don't remember this, but back in September I attended the 30th birthday surprise party for a dear friend's daughter who I've watched grow up, and who has herself become a friend through a decade of sharing Port Aransas adventures.

Well, 30 turned out to be her best birthday ever! Her boyfriend, who was supposed to be in Iraq, showed up, dropped to his knee, and proposed to her. 

I get goosebumps just thinking about it again!

Instead of waiting for him to return again in a few months to have a big, fancy wedding, those two snuck off alone to the courthouse to get married before he headed back to finish up his tour. 

She missed out on all of those fun pre-wedding bridal showers, so a few of her friends decided to host a bridal brunch for her.  It was mermaid themed, and overflowed with adorable decorations and goodies to eat.  Plus, she got a lot of great gifts!

 

I was able to stay until the very end before hitting the road again, this time headed for Houston to attend a retirement party for Gene, a wonderful friend who started at DuPont a year after I did. He and another friend who attended, Larry, were like big brothers to me, and sweet! really doesn't describe how awesome it was to see them again and have a chance to share memories and laughs with them. It's amazing how forty years can just peel away in a heartbeat. 

 

There was an extra sweet! surprise during the party I hadn't anticipated. So serendipitous it still amazes me! Gene and his wife had several tables set up under a tent outside, each themed with places they want to visit. I was at the Texas table with a lot of people I didn't know. I introduced myself and asked how everyone knew Gene.

One of the women told me I looked familiar. I asked for her name. She told me, then introduced her husband. While her name didn't sound familiar, his triggered a memory. I leaned to get a good look at him around the centerpiece made of boots and a hat. 

"Were you a welder for H.B. Zachry years ago at the USI plant?"

He nodded. 

"I was your welder's helper. For two months in 1978, anyway. I remember you because you were such a nice guy. Thank you!"

It seems kind of amazing to me now that I've remembered his name, and even his face, all of these years. I only worked there two months, and I wasn't actually his dedicated welder's helper. I mostly roamed around at the end of the day gathering the 'weld count'. During the day my supervisors had me sit in the welding shack, checking out tools. In reality, they had me there to guard against theft. There were a lot of unscrupulous people working there, a lot of 'edgy' characters. 

I don't remember any of their names, but I remember Bobby. He was a good guy, plain and simple. He stood out from the rest without doing anything at all, except being nice and polite and normal. Maybe we had some conversations, but I've forgotten them now. Just knowing he and one or two other nice guys were out there made me feel safe.

But I was still grateful to leave that construction site behind!

Anyway, it felt like I had come full circle in some way. 

 

There's another sweet! surrounding this whole weekend.  For years, I stayed with my parents when I came back to Houston for reunions or other events. I never had to think twice about it.

That's no longer an option.

However, I have a sweet friend who always opens her door to me, as long as they are in town themselves. I get my own room in their beautiful home. On this trip I was grateful to have time before and after Gene's party to relax and visit with her... and with her puppies, Millie, Maybe, and the magnificent Maverick.

Isn't he gorgeous?

He loves me. 

Well, he loves anyone who pays him attention.

 

I made a quick stop at my childhood home to retrieve a small chest that fit in my car that  I realized I could use. This time, as many times before, I knew there was a very good chance it was my last visit.

Each time gets a little easier. This was the third time in two weeks I've been there, but I'll save that for another post, along with quite a few other sweet!s. 

Because it's now after midnight and time for bed.

And it's also my birthday. Sweet! Have a wonderful Wednesday!

 

"The first fact about the celebration of birthdays is that it is a good way of affirming defiantly, and even flamboyantly, that it is a good thing to be alive."

~G.K. Chesterton

 

Forgiveness in an Unforgiving World

 

It’s the hardest thing to give away
And the last thing on your mind today
It always goes to those that don’t deserve

It’s the opposite of how you feel
When the pain they caused is just too real
It takes everything you have just to say the word…

Forgiveness
Forgiveness

~from "Forgiveness" by Matthew West

 

Can you imagine getting the news that your college-student son had been shot to death? For me, I believe it would be an all-consuming fire of heartbreak at the loss and anger at the action. 

In 1995 Azim Khamisa, an international investment banker in San Diego at the time, did receive that news: his only son was killed by an aspiring teenage gang member.

Azim surely felt heartache and anger, but he reacted in a way that shocked everyone - he forgave the killer, reached out to the killer's family, and even befriended the killer's grandfather. Despite his pain, he recognized the killer's family must be feeling pain and loss, as well.

After all, can you imagine getting the news that your teenage grandson had shot and killed someone?

Together Azim and the grandfather worked to bring something positive from their joint tragedy, launching an organization that teaches nonviolence in middle schools.  

When writer Megan Feldman Bettencourt heard about Azim from a friend who attended one of his speaking engagements, she wanted to learn more. Why did he forgive? How did he forgive? 

Like many, she tended to equate forgiveness with weakness. With a little research, she discovered that multiple studies have shown forgiveness can not only improve physical and emotional well-being, but may even be a survival skill developed through evolution.

And that was the seed for a journey that ultimately became a book: Triumph of the Heart: Forgiveness in an Unforgiving World. 

In the book Megan shares her own struggles with forgiveness which most of us can identify with, such as the hurt caused by bad relationships or the verbal abuse of a bully. That kind of pain doesn't compare to what Azim felt, but it can often seem impossible to forgive even the simplest affronts like these, can't it? There were times in the book when I felt too much space was given to her past relationship, but the reason for it became clear by the end. 

Megan traveled throughout the United States and even to Rwanda to try to get answers to some questions she had about forgiveness. For example, was forgiveness self-sacrificial and altruistic? Was it possible after extreme offenses, such as genocide? Was it natural? Did it provide health benefits? How important are apologies and redemption? Is it a one-time thing or a habit? Can communities and nations practice forgiveness?

She shares the stories of the people she meets along the way, from Azim to recovered addicts to couples trying to heal their marriages. But the most amazing stories to me are those from Rwanda, especially the one of Father Ubald, a priest whose entire family was killed and who barely escaped Rwanda alive himself following the conflict between the Hutus and the Tutsis. 

Father Ubald is actually helping to raise the children of the man who killed his mother, even paying for one daughter to attend medical school, while the killer is in prison.  His story is on page 206. You really need to read it. 

His is just one of many amazing stories in that country, though. He runs a program that helps other victims forgive, including the son of a victim who ultimately made his father's killer the godfather of one of his children. If they can forgive the atrocities committed against them to this extent, what excuse do I have to hold on to bitterness and anger?

While spirituality plays a part in forgiveness for many people, this isn't a spiritual book. It's an exploration about the benefits of forgiveness, both physical and social, and about the process. It's rarely, if ever, a one-time thing, but something that needs to be practiced, as Megan says, "like being optimistic or mindful or patient." It can ebb and flow, from day to day. 

Megan investigated and describes to us many of the forgiveness programs in place around the United States and in Rwanda to help the process. 

It's a shame I hadn't heard of any of them until I read this book, and I hope that changes. I believe forgiveness is not only the key to personal peace, health, and happiness, but also the key to peace everywhere. And that's why I feel this book is full of hope.

 

As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom,

I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind,

I'd still be in prison.

~ Nelson Mandela

 

 

Disclosure: I was given a copy of this book to review, but the opinions are my own. The link up above is to Amazon and, as an Amazon Associate, I do receive a few pennies if you order the book there. But no matter where you order it, I encourage you to get this book, read it, and share it. I believe its message is important and potentially life-saving.  Thank you, Megan!

And here are the rest of the lyrics to the Matthew West song "Forgiveness", just because they fit so well...

 

It’s the hardest thing to give away
And the last thing on your mind today
It always goes to those that don’t deserve

It’s the opposite of how you feel
When the pain they caused is just too real
It takes everything you have just to say the word…

Forgiveness
Forgiveness

It flies in the face of all your pride
It moves away the mad inside
It’s always anger’s own worst enemy
Even when the jury and the judge
Say you gotta right to hold a grudge
It’s the whisper in your ear saying ‘Set It Free’

Forgiveness, Forgiveness
Forgiveness, Forgiveness

Show me how to love the unlovable
Show me how to reach the unreachable
Help me now to do the impossible

Forgiveness, Forgiveness

Help me now to do the impossible
Forgiveness

It’ll clear the bitterness away
It can even set a prisoner free
There is no end to what it’s power can do
So, let it go and be amazed
By what you see through eyes of grace
The prisoner that it really frees is you

Forgiveness, Forgiveness
Forgiveness, Forgiveness

Show me how to love the unlovable
Show me how to reach the unreachable
Help me now to do the impossible
Forgiveness

I want to finally set it free
So show me how to see what Your mercy sees
Help me now to give what You gave to me
Forgiveness, Forgiveness

Happy Thanksgiving, by George...

 

 

Let us come to him with thanksgiving. Let us sing psalms of praise to him. - Psalm 95:2 (NLT)

I sit here at my computer tonight, listening to the rain falling outside my window. I'm still full from roasted turkey and lots of carbs:  cornbread dressing (my mom's recipe); green bean casserole (doesn't really count as a vegetable, but my kids love it); jellied cranberry (an homage to my dad); and, of course, small slices of pumpkin and pecan pie.

It was just four of us ... me, Tom, and two of the kids, since the oldest and his wife are exploring New Zealand. A white tablecloth covered my table, with a silver and gold runner. No fancy or creative centerpiece, but I set the table with silver chargers and my wedding china (Noritake Shenandoah, which I still absolutely adore) and sipped wine from my wedding crystal, which most of the time sits gathering dust in my china cabinet.

It was the first time the four of us had sat down to eat at the same time in a very long while. We are all too busy these days, home at odd hours and living mostly on frozen pizza.

After dinner, we called Tom's mom , then piled into the car to visit Mama and watch a few episodes of "The Facts of Life" with her. Knowing she would be full from her own Thanksgiving dinner (they have great food at her nursing home!) I only brought her a little bit of the cornbread dressing, hoping for her stamp of approval... which she gave before gobbling it up. Whew!

That's already enough to be grateful for , but there's so much more. Lately, when I find myself veering off into a 'poor me' whine, I've tried to redirect it into some kind of "thank you". It usually isn't too hard!

However, even though I give thanks often, I think a national holiday specifically dedicated to giving thanks for our blessings, motivating us to pull the special china out of the closet and spend hours in the kitchen trying to re-create our mother's cornbread dressing and sitting down with our family for the first time in months... or to gather with others to fill plates with turkey and dressing for those who don't have a home, much less a china cabinet, as friends of mine did today.

I was reminded this morning at Mass that I have George Washington to thank for giving us this national holiday of Thanksgiving. Thank you, George!

For his homily, our priest read us the original proclamation, which I don't think I had ever heard before. In case you haven't either, or if it's been awhile since you have, I decided to find it online and share it here...

 

Thanksgiving Proclamation

Issued by President George Washington, at the request of Congress, on October 3, 1789

By the President of the United States of America, a Proclamation.

Whereas it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor; and—Whereas both Houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me “to recommend to the people of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness:”

Now, therefore, I do recommend and assign Thursday, the 26th day of November next, to be devoted by the people of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favor, able interpositions of His providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquillity, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed; for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enabled to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted; for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and, in general, for all the great and various favors which He has been pleased to confer upon us.

And also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations, and beseech Him to pardon our national and other trangressions; to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations (especially such as have shown kindness to us), and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and, generally, to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as He alone knows to be best.

Given under my hand at the City of New York the third day of October in the year of our Lord 1789.

Go. Washington

 

From our home to yours... Happy Thanksgiving!

Dear Lord; we beg but one boon more:
Peace in the hearts of all men living,
peace in the whole world this Thanksgiving.
~Joseph Auslander

Lesson #84 (Happy birthday, happy Friday the 13th, and thank you, Mama!

 

 "You must have been a beautiful baby..." ~Johnny Mercer

 

 

Last week I asked my mom what she wanted for her birthday. She stared off for a few seconds, then looked at me and said "More time."

But there was a twinkle in her eye, and her mouth turned up in a grin as she added, "Can you tell I live in the present?"

What a wise woman. 

Even now, anchored to an oxygen machine, rarely leaving the small room she shares with another woman, and having to rely on others for even the simplest things, like having a glass of water near enough to drink, Mama finds enough joy in life to want to stick around awhile longer.

I know it isn't because she's afraid of death. My mom is a Christian. She has taught me all my life - and I know she believes it most of the time - that there is life after death, much more beautiful than this one, free of pain and sorrow. Most of her loved ones have gone before her...her parents, siblings, her firstborn, and her beloved husband.  

Despite what her life appears to be to us, she is still loving it. Her smile is always close to the surface, and she laughs often, finding joy in the simplest things. She loves her aides and nurses, her cups of coffee, her cookies, and the photos of Daddy, her kids, grandkids, and great-granddaughter hanging on the walls.

She does NOT like being told what to do, but that's understandable after years of being such an independent woman and caregiver to others.

For her sake - actually, for mine - I hope she gets her birthday wish, and that she finds joy in every extra second she is given. I believe she will. I know I will.

And in her honor, I will try my best not to waste a single second of the time I'm given with remorse or regrets of the past, or with wishing away my today for some future moment that may never come.

And I will continue to keep my eyes open for even the simplest sweet!s. Today they will include picking up some fried shrimp for her birthday dinner, then gathering with family to celebrate her and give thanks that she's in our lives.

 

 

On her 77th birthday, I listed the things she had taught me, and I've added to it every year. So without further ado, here's the list...

Things Mama has taught me...

1. it's never too late to learn something new
2. if you have a choice between laughter and tears, choose laughter.
3. don't let anyone mess with your babies!
4. only give advice when asked for it (I'm still working on that one)
5. pray every day
6. pray some more
7. reading a good book might not solve your problems, but it's a nice escape from them
8. bend but never break
9. some people are just takers
10. be nice whenever possible, but sometimes nice doesn't cut it
11. take care of family
12. we're all individuals - let your kids blossom into themselves, not "mini-me's"
13. be there
14. Johnny Weismuller is the best movie Tarzan
15. don't be in a rush to be older than you are - you're only going to be this age once in your life
16. if you like something, and you'll use it, and you can afford it, then buy it, or you'll regret it later
17. quality over quantity
18. never think "can't"
19. people will stand in line for a dead skunk if it's free
20. roll with the punches
21. have fun
22. laugh often
23. believe in yourself
24. don't let others change who you are
25. be honest
26. don't steal
27. forgive yourself
28. God loves me
29. don't judge
30. just do it!
31. inside matters more than outside
32. don't use God's name in vain
33. you can learn anything if you put your mind to it
34. you're never too old to dance
35. it's okay to ask for help
36. show appreciation and express gratitude
37. use my manners
38. consider the source
39. an office or position of authority should be respected, but the individual in that position has to earn your respect
40. sleep is good
41. take advantage of opportunities
42. keep your eyes open and your wits about you
43. people aren't always nice
44. things can't make you happy
45. use your imagination
46. just get started and the rest will be easy
47. don't be intimidated by anyone - we're all the same, all human, we all have strengths and weaknesses
48. you can love someone even if you don't like them
49. forgive but don't forget
50. learn from others' mistakes
51. there are times for being patient, and time for putting your foot down
52. speak up
53. stand up for what you believe in
54. admit your mistakes and expect others to do the same
55. persistance pays off
56. let your kids be kids
57. love unconditionally
58. take lots of pictures
59. kids grow up fast
60. your kids need a mother, not another friend
61. pets are family
62. help others
63. a sense of humor is essential for sanity and survival
64. if you look close enough, you can find something to love about everyone
65. coffee is good anytime
66. messes can be cleaned up
67. prayer works
68. God is strong all the time - let him carry you
69. if you say you're going to do something, do it
70. be nice to yourself in case no one else is
71. you have to show respect to get respect
72. girls are tough
73. don't put up with temper tantrums - yours or someone else's
74. listen to your body - doctors don't know everything
75. don't say everything you're thinking
76. asking questions is the best way to learn something
77. your babies are always your babies (and their babies are your babies, too!)
78. God is. 
79. Just listen. 
80. people are more important than things
    
81. there is a time to help others, and a time to let others help you
82. God has his reasons, and He will give you whatever strength you need for the road ahead...and never leave you to walk it alone.
83. smile and show appreciation to those who are willing to help you - they may have it tougher than you in many ways
84. Appreciate every second you're given, because life is beautiful.

 

(from last year's celebration) 

They're not gray hairs. They're wisdom highlights.

~Author Unknown

 P.S. Happy Friday the 13th anniversary to my husband!

Reflections on Veteran's Day

They are all around you, disguised as ordinary people. They may be generous or grouchy, quiet or boisterous, socialites or loners.  They come in all colors, sizes, and ages. They are our veterans... those who gave anywhere from three to thirty years of their lives, doing whatever our country needed them to do, wherever they were told to go. 

Tonight our church held a special dinner in their honor; at the end, each veteran was asked to give their name and tell a little about their service. I felt very humbled and grateful. My mind naturally drifted to those veterans I hold most dear, and I realized I hadn't yet published my annual tribute to them...

 

 

"Lord, if your people need me, I will not refuse the work. Your will be done."

~St. Martin of Tours

 

My big brother Buster was headed to Viet Nam, saying his goodbyes, when I stood beside him in this photograph and smiled. I had no idea what was ahead of him. This was probably taken before his first tour of duty and so he had only a vague idea himself what to expect.

When he volunteered for his second tour, however, he knew full well what he was stepping into...but he did it anyway. 

 

 

My dad was in high school when the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor. He joined the Navy soon after high school graduation because his country was at war and "it was the thing to do." 

In the next twenty-two months he traveled a long way from Texas aboard the U.S.S. Geneva...to places like the Philippines, the Marshall Islands, China, Burma, Japan.

Before he turned twenty, he had seen cities that had been destroyed by war and piles of dead bodies waiting to be buried. 

A few years later, his little brother Bobby followed his lead and joined the Navy, and many years later, so did my brother Donnie and two nephews.

 

Pop, my wonderful father-in-law, missed out on World War II, but joined the Air Force in time for the Korean War. He worked base supply in Okinawa, supporting bombers flying missions to Korea...about 100 aircraft every day.

He re-enlisted, got married, and hopped around the globe...living in England, Germany, and over a year in Pakistan, separated from his family (the other heroes - Mom had 8 teenage and younger boys to deal with by herself!)...visiting a dozen other countries...eventually staying put for awhile in Maryland, working with NSA (and a second job at the bowling alley to make ends meet), until his retirement.

A lifetime of service and sacrifice for this country.

 

 

My husband Tom was raised in that military family. For him it was normal to move every few years to someplace completely different...by the time he was eight or nine years old, he had lived in three countries!

He grew up on a tight budget ... hand-me-downs, powdered milk and only two cookies a day...period! And yet as soon as he could, he joined the service...the Coast Guard. Among other things, he helped rescue fisherman off the coast of Alaska.

Four of his brothers also joined the service (three career Air Force, just like their dad, and another Coast Guard) and the youngest joined the Army Reserves. Now the next generation is following in their footsteps: two Air Force and one Coast Guard, plus numerous cousins, nieces, and nephews. 

I think it's very fitting that Veterans Day shares November with Thanksgiving, a day when we slow down to remember and be grateful for things that we usually take for granted, because veterans, despite the sacrifices they make for all of us, probably don't even make it onto our Thanksgiving thank-you list.

That's how much most of us take them for granted - as well as the freedoms they protect for us. Even when our country isn't at war, they go where they are needed to unfamiliar places, away from extended family, often living on a minimum salary.

To many, they are a symbol of war, not peace, and sadly become targets of derision, scorn, blame... and even violence, like the sad incident at Ft. Hood a few years ago.

They deserve to be thanked every day of the year. A friend of mine says that when he's in a restaurant and sees a man or woman in uniform, he secretly pays their bill. What a wonderful idea! I think more of us should go out of our way every day to show our appreciation, but I'm glad there is at least one special day where we shine a spotlight on them, remember their sacrifices and make clear our gratitude.

Thank you Daddy, Tom, Pop, Buster, Donnie, Uncle Bobby, Uncle Howard, Kenny, Steve, Joe, Robbie, John, Sheila, Michael, Tom, Lynn, Robbin, Evan, James...and all of the other Veterans, past and present, out there! Because of you, we're free to go about our daily lives, without a thought in the world to how much that freedom costs or how much you've given.

"Freedom is never free."  ~Author Unknown

But let's hope we do remember the price, as well as those who, through their actions, say, "Don't worry. I got this."

Many at tonight's dinner brought up, with much pride, the current service of their sons and daughters, which reminded me of TG's boyfriend's Air Force graduation back in September. He's from a military family himself - his parents met while they were both in the Army. He's well aware of the commitment he's made.

So I'd like to thank TG's B and all of the others who are continuing to step up to fill those ranks for our country. I hope we all continue to show them the support they deserve. 

 

"This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave."

 ~Elmer Davis

 

Beaches, Beer, and other sweet!s

 

 

Last weekend I spent a gorgeous weekend in Port Aransas, Texas, with dear friends, old and new. It was something like our 16th annual get-away, but I confess I've lost count.

 

 

There are only about 5 of us who have consistently escaped every year, no matter what was going on in our lives. But every year we have at least 13 women join us, filling three condos that hug the beach. Some are friends of mine from high school. Some are sisters or daughters... or friends of friends. 

 

Once you're in, you're in...until you drop out. And some have actually dropped out! I just don't understand it.

 

 

I'll never drop out. Not voluntarily, anyway.

(We recruited a man to take our photo, then another man started taking our photo from a floor above. The owner/residents were so awesome and friendly this year!)

 

I need this annual retreat to the shore, to recharge and re-energize. (Thanks for this photo, Rae!)

He that will learn to pray, let him go to sea.

~George Herbert

***********************************************************

 

I have yet to even look at all the photos I took last weekend, and now another fun weekend is past. Our annual St. Mary's Oktoberfest featured great weather and a miracle win by the Texas Longhorns. (I think Father Joe put in a good word for us!)

 

Just one of many beauties in the classic car "show and shine". I dream of having an old truck one day...but mine will need a/c and electric windows. 

 

A pet dragon!

 

That's the middle school principal you see swimming in the dunking booth. He had a line waiting to dunk him, as you can imagine!

***********************************************************

 

I have lots of sweet!s recorded over the past few weeks ...

... a cute couple secretly getting married ... your husband and brother-in-law making it home safe from a long canoeing trip in Arkansas ... tiny shells on the beach... sharing a room with your sister again  ... a morning run on a beach with a cool breeze ... a friend texting you to be sure you saw the orange crescent moon rising over the water ... sunrise after sunrise after sunrise over the water ... slow walks with friends on a beach ... dancing ... lots of new clients asking for your help...

But what better way to end this sweet! post than with a photo of your oldest son drinking a beer after running the Chicago marathon? (I wasn't there - he posted it and I stole it to share here!)

But I'm so proud of him for conquering this challenge! (The marathon, not the beer!)

Way to go, Tommy!

 

I hope you all have a huge collection of sweet!s from the past few weeks, as well! If you don't, you aren't paying attention!

The unthankful heart... discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings!

~Henry Ward Beecher

 

Oktoberfest, Lago Vista Style!

 

 

St. Mary Our Lady of the Lake's Oktoberfest tradition started way before we moved to Lago Vista. Some of the aspects of it change from year to year, but overall it remains the same in two areas:

1. it's a lot of fun

2. it's the main fundraiser for our small church

Those are two good reasons why you and your family should come visit us between 10 and 3 this Saturday, if you are anywhere near the Austin vicinity.

All proceeds benefit church organizations, such as the St. Vincent de Paul Society, who use it to help the disadvantaged in our community, provide scholarships, finance youth activities, and support local first-responders, the Lago Vista Volunteers, seminarians, and more.

Sure, I know ACL is going on downtown. But if you're looking for something to do for the whole family, away from the craziness of Zilker Park during ACL, look no farther. This is it!

 

 

There will be games for the kids, with prizes. Games for adults, with prizes. A zipline for the kids. A classic car "show and shine" for all ages. 

 

 

Inside the church you'll find a silent auction, handcrafted items, baked goods, and frozen casseroles (although those sell out fast so you need to get yours early! You can pay for it and pick it up when you're ready to leave.)

We'll have a dunking booth and a washer tournament, of course. What's a small town festival without those?

Come hungry. We're offering bratwurst, turkey legs, hamburgers, hot dogs, giant soft pretzels.... lots of choices! 

 

Of course, there will be beer. What's an Oktoberfest without beer? Live Oak Brewing Company, which is Austin's oldest brewery, has agreed once again to donate plenty of keg beer for the day, and Capital Wright Distributing is donating plenty of Miller Lite, Coors Light, and St. Pauli Girl beer.

 

 

By the way, thank you for your prayers for Father Joe. He passed away soon after I wrote my last post, surrounded by his family. 

This year's Oktoberfest will be bittersweet because of his passing. He pastored the church for forty years, guiding it as it grew from a small gathering of ten families in a rustic campground building to an established parish caring for over 300 families.

He saw Oktoberfest as a way for the parish and community to come together for a good cause, and get to know each other as one family in the process. That was always very important to him. 

Rest in peace, Father Joe.

 

 

So come on down and help us make it the best ever!

St. Mary Our Lady of the Lake Catholic Church, 6100 Lohman Ford Rd., Lago Vista, TX

Saturday, October 10 from 10 am to 3 pm

If you can't join us on Saturday, please say a prayer for a successful Oktoberfest, and continue to pray for Father Joe's family. Thank you!

 

 

Happy birthday, Daddy!

 

My Daddy's been gone two years now, so it's truly a blessing that I can still see him in my mind, alive and well, with eyes twinkling. Even now, I turn to him in tough times and hear his voice encouraging me.

Photographs and blog posts help keep his memory fresh. I've spent the past twenty minutes reading over some old ones. My favorites are "Dear Daddy" and "When Wishes Come True", but "A Blessed Birthday" is bittersweet. It was the last birthday he celebrated on earth. 

I suspected it might be when I wrote it. 

My daddy was a great man. Of course, I didn't realize it for most of my life, because he wasn't great in the worldly way, and not even in the obviously spiritual way. He was humble. He didn't like a lot of attention aimed at him. But he was funny and generous and hardworking.

Most importantly, he loved with all of his heart, fiercely and unconditionally, hanging on despite the inevitable pain that love like that brings. That's true strength, I believe, and I want to live and love like that.

 

 

Thank you, Daddy. I love you and miss you and give thanks for you every day. May you be celebrating every day in heaven!

 

There’s something like a line of gold thread running through a man’s words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself.

~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994

 

Tonight, please keep another Father of mine in your prayers. Twenty years ago, when I knew it was time to make up my mind about becoming Catholic, Monsignor Joseph Schmitt, the pastor of our small church, agreed to meet with me one-on-one every Tuesday to answer my questions.

After a few months, I was confirmed a Catholic... and was quickly recruited by him to teach CCD. I often covered for the church secretary, so I spent many days working alongside him, having lively discussions over lunch, and then serving beside him on our church planning committee. He offered blessings on our vacations, comfort when we were in pain, and advice when we felt lost. 

 

Just a few months younger than my dad, Father Joe's health has been steadily declining. He's been in the hospital several days now and isn't expected to recover. I'm grateful I was able to stop and see him yesterday... to tell him thank you and let him know how grateful I am that he was a part of our lives. 

Please pray for peace and comfort, for him and his family. Thank you!

Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!

~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836

Every evening at 5:30...

 

 

Did you know that every evening at 5:30 pm on Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio, the Star-Spangled Banner is played over loudspeakers, and at the first note, everyone stops walking, talking, or whatever they are doing to salute the closest United States flag, whether they can actually see it or not?

 

 

I didn't know it, until last weekend. I found it very reassuring, like knowing that every minute of every day, prayers for peace are being lifted at a Mass somewhere in the world.

 

 
Is there a way to have the Star-Spangled Banner play on my phone every evening at 5:30, so I don't forget to be grateful for my country and our freedom?

 

 

Four days spent on an Air Force base, attending graduation ceremonies and hanging out with an airman, is a great reminder of the sacrifices that are made on our behalf every day to ensure that freedom.

 

 

I'm grateful I was able to do just that this past weekend, surrounded by young men and women (so young!) focused on serving their/our country for the next few years, ready to go where they are told to go and do what they are told to do. 

 

 

TG's boyfriend is one of them, currently training for a job that isn't very safe, but it's the one he feels called to do. My prayers will be with him and all of the others, along with my thanks, as they head off on this journey. 

 

 

This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave. 

~Elmer Davis

Coach Christine and the Cosmos - the story continues...

Once upon a time, I was a soccer mom, sweating or freezing on the sidelines, gripping the arms of my collapsible chair, or pacing up and down, trying my best to bite my tongue, when I couldn't sit still.

And then TG joined the Cosmos, and Coach Christine took all of my angst onto her own shoulders. I no longer had to pace or coach from the sidelines. She paced up and down, shouted when and what I longed to shout, got angry when I was angry...

I was finally able to sit on the sidelines and enjoy the game. What a relief!

It was after TG had graduated from high school and said her goodbyes to the Cosmos that we learned of Christine's cancer, and then later, of her passing. It inspired me to write about her in "Coach Christine, Queen of the Cosmos."

But Christine's passion and joy extended beyond the soccer field. As a registrar for the Leander School District, she touched many lives, and that's why the district decided to name a new school after her this year.

And if that isn't awesome enough, that a district would name a school after a mom/registrar, the mascot for the school is the Cosmos. 

TG and I attended the dedication of the elementary school yesterday afternoon. Coach David and Christine's brother, who they adopted at age 11 when their mom passed away of cancer, spoke about Christine's bravery, passion, and high standards. Her daughter and two sons sat on the stage, smiling at the recognition given to their mom. She would be proud of them. 

Christine juggled two jobs, coached a couple of soccer teams, shuttled three kids to practices, managed a household, and took on the responsibility of raising her brother, all with a huge smile. She showed no favoritism. All were loved and criticized equally.

That's what I already knew - and loved - about her.

What I didn't know was she also helped some of the girls on the Cosmos with their college applications and paid their application fees when they balked about going.  She grew up in Harlem, New York City, valedictorian of her high school, and won scholarships to a prep school in New England and went on to Lehigh University.

She believed in education and accepted no excuses. 

So kudos to Leander School District for recognizing that Christine Camacho absolutely deserved to have this new school named after her. It was probably my imagination, but I could sense Christine there... so much energy and joy and excitement. 

Coach David asked the Cosmos girls to stand up. There were six or seven of them there, out of about 20 who wore the Cosmos jerseys. Pretty impressive, considering they are all in their early 20's now, and many no longer live in the area.

At the end of the dedication , they joined the staff in the Cosmos chant... 

"C! o-s-o-s M! o-s-o-s C! o-s-o-s M! o-s-o-s COSMOS!"

That chant, and the Cosmos, will live on forever... in Leander, Texas. That makes me very happy.

 

I hope you rest in peace, Christine, knowing that the seeds you planted are blooming and thriving. 

 

Some people say soccer's a matter of life or death, but it isn't.  It's much more important than that. 

~Variation of a famous saying

Sharing delights. And sorrows, too.

 

An older sister is a friend and defender - a listener, conspirator, a counsellor and a sharer of delights.  And sorrows too. 

 ~Pam Brown

For a few years, my sister and I shared the small room above.  It was painted a pale purple at the time.

It was in this room that I remember watching "The Wizard of Oz" on a tiny television during one of the many times I was sick with asthma, and I remember lying in bed struggling to go to sleep on a Christmas Eve because my brother and sister swore they heard jingle bells outside the window and I was afraid Santa would pass us by because I was still awake. 

Later my sons shared this room when we came to visit. A friend recently bought the twin beds my boys slept in for her own grandkids. My sister took the small table that sat between them and I brought my mom's cedar chest home with me. 

Now it's empty, except for that lamp.

Except... it's not empty. I still see our full size bed with its spread and matching shams of purple roses. I see our twin beds made into trundles, with a little play space under one, filled with my stuffed animals. I see my boys snuggled under their blankets in their twin beds, a lamp on and books open, reading into the night and sleeping late the next day. 

For the past few months, I've spent every Saturday at my parents' home, sorting through drawers and boxes and cabinets, trying to decide what to keep, what to toss, and what to sell. 

But I haven't been alone. Through it all, my big sister has been by my side, as she always has when I've gone through something tough, helping to make a job I dreaded turn into a mission of love. A catharsis. I couldn't have done all of this without her help and support. Because of her I'm able to see that the love that was borne in that house will never fail.  It's still there, but it's also in us. It's eternal. 

I'm so grateful for her and for the hours I've been able to spend with her this summer, one Saturday at a time. She is truly proof that God loves me. 

Today is her birthday. I hope it overflowed in blessings because she deserves to get back at least some of what she's given over the years.

Happy birthday, Brenda! I love you!

Please go here and here to read more about my beautiful sister. 

 

 

Silent Love and Friendship

 

I was headed to Houston last Saturday ... dreading the drive, the task ahead of me, and a whole day away from my business which I really can't afford at this time ... when I spotted a Panda Express.  I decided to cheer myself up with an early lunch. 

It was delicious, of course, but the best part was this message tucked into my fortune cookie...

 

 

Have you ever received a big hug from a friend just when you needed it? That's how I felt when I read that tiny little piece of paper.

Those words lifted me above the sadness of the task and helped me see it instead as a chance to revisit a lifetime of happy memories. The long drive, the physical labor, the sweat and tears all became acts of love,  a way to give back to my parents and grandmother and siblings and children... all of us who knew the abundance of love and laughter in that house. 

Words can be so powerful, can't they? 

These words will ride with me again tomorrow, and the next Saturday, and the next... however many it takes to sort through sixty years ... trying to decide what to keep, what to give, what to sell, and what to toss. 

I'm grateful for my sister who will be beside me in the process, adding more precious memories to tuck away in my heart as we prepare to say goodbye and thank you to the humble home that sheltered our childhood. 

 

Ch-ch-ch-changes... and other sweet!s

 

Did you notice my blog looks a little different? 

Apparently, my blogs weren't 'mobile-friendly', so to keep up with the times (and to keep BlogHer happy) I had to make some changes. 

Updating my Confessions blog (hosted by Blogger) was easy. Just one click, and it was done, somehow retaining my same old design, including the banner my friend Jill created for me years ago.

But this one? My original blog hosted by Typepad? Not so easy. I had to pick a whole new template. 

In the long run, it's a good thing, though. I've been wanting to change it up for quite a while, but I have a tendency to overthink everything and have a tough time making decisions. The key ingredients in procrastination. So I was actually grateful for the kick in the rear. 

It still took me a week to make the change. The past couple of weeks since my last post have been really busy. Fortunately, they were dotted with many sweet!s...

Last night I spent some time with the full moon, just standing on the path in front of our house, gazing at it and listening to the frogs singing down by the pond. That's the best kind of re-charging. 

My sister got my mom an iPhone. She can push a button and tell Siri to call someone. Plus, it's much easier for me to navigate than her old flip phone. Those things are so complicated!

 

 

My client-turned-friend Tammy's closing. She has become such an inspiration to me. Breast-cancer survivor, recent widow, always positive even through some bumps on the way to finding her new home. She showed me what faith looks like. 

 

The weeds in our front yard have turned into Indian Blankets and Mexican Hats, thank goodness!

 

Cedar Waxwings graced Long Hollow with their presence one day last week. I'm so glad I noticed them and had time to snap a few hundred photos of them while they were here. 

 

I spent an afternoon learning all about the history and brewing of beer, courtesy of my son Daniel, who invited me to tag along on the the tour he coordinated for his State Library co-workers, and Ryan, who I've known practically all his life. He is now a cellarman at Live Oak Brewing Company, the oldest microbrewery in Austin. (I'll write a whole post about it later.)

 

Someone gave me this little rose bush for my 50th or 51st birthday. I wish I could remember who it was. It's the toughest little thing I know, blooming every year after freezes and droughts, with no help whatsoever from me.

 

Our church's Garden of Eatin' once again offered encouragement, via the sign above, and culinary delight, via the homemade cannoli below. 

Once upon a time, I was active on FlickR, and that's how I met Debbie, another photography addict. We met in person in Houston several years ago and have stayed close via Facebook.

This weekend she came to Austin with friends for a winery tour, so on Saturday we met out at Flat Creek Estate. Not only did I get to spend a little time with her, but I satisfied my craving for a Flat Creek Margherita Pizza. Yum!

(P.S. People who say 'virtual friends aren't real friends' don't know what they're talking about.) 

 

My latest listing is situated on Slick Rock Golf Course in Horseshoe Bay. I snapped this photo while tagging along after Brent, a real estate photographer from  QuickPics Photography. Isn't this a gorgeous view? For photos of the actual house, check out the slideshow.

(No, I don't take my own real estate photographs. Timewise, it's cheaper to hire someone, freeing me to find buyers for my listings! And then more listings!)

 

I already knew I had passed all of the required classes, but it was still an awesome feeling getting this official certificate in the mail!

 

I hope you've been keeping track of your sweet moments, too. Share them in the comments! My phone has become a handy log for mine.

 

A good snapshot stops a moment from running away.

~Eudora Welty

 

 

 

 

 

Treasure Boxes and other sweet!s...

 

I drove Tom's truck to Houston on Saturday. The kids and I made a one-day trip there to continue sorting through things at my parents' house, my childhood home, where every square inch and every random object holds a special memory. 

What to keep and what to sell from a lifetime of memories, when you're already weeding and tossing at your own home because you have no room? I wasn't looking forward to it.

But my kids provided the perfect balance of reminiscing, mourning, laughing, and staying on task to get the job done and be back on the road before the sun set.

My main goal for this trip, and the ulterior motive in having the kids there, was to retrieve the big items I wasn't ready to sell. But I also wanted to give the kids a chance to say goodbye to a house where they had spent much of their childhood, just as I did.

I was fortunate that my parents watched Tommy and Daniel after they were born when I had to return to work. When TG was born, I quit work, and just a few years later we moved to Austin, but each Christmas vacation, spring break, and a week every summer found us at my parents' home. 

My own memories are in layers; you have to peel away quite a few to understand why I brought back the items I did.

 

 

 

My mother's cedar chest. It's dry and cracking in places, but still aromatic and beautiful. I often pleaded with my mother to open it and let me look (again!) at the items she kept inside. 

 

 

The cabinet sewing machine. It's an old Domestic that swings up when you open the cabinet. My mother and grandmother worked magic with this machine, that I could never duplicate. Clown and ballerina costumes, school clothes, my sister's wedding dress and my homecoming queen dress, along with so much more. 

(However, I did sew on it. It's the only machine I've ever felt comfortable with, sewing many a Barbie doll and Liddle Kiddle outfit, plus patching up and/or decorating my jeans because the needle had no problem going through denim.)

 

 

The console stereo that stood front and center in our living room for decades even after the stereo quit working. From it I first heard Bill Cosby telling his jokes, sang along with the Beach Boys, and listened to the Mary Poppins soundtrack for hours when I could do nothing else because of my asthma. 

How could I leave it behind? It now sits in a special place in my office, and I can't wait to listen to those albums again. There's a portable stereo sitting where the original used to be. If I can only figure out how to hook it up to the speakers...

 

 

My brother Buster's footlocker. Truthfully, it holds no memories for me, but it's priceless, nonetheless. In it you'll find his Vietnam-era medals and other things which were important to him, and therefore to me and my mom. It had to come along as well. 

I had no idea where I would put these treasure boxes in my home, which I've already mentioned feels overcrowded with my own stuff.

But I decided not to worry about that. I had the boys load them all up, along with an old suitcase we found filled with some of my Daddy's papers, an old bridle, my grandmother's sewing basket, a portrait of my parents' dog Little Bull painted by my Aunt Bertha Lee ...

Anyway, despite my worrying, I've already found places for them in spots that now seem were made for them. It alway seems to work out, when you follow your heart, doesn't it?

Here are a few other sweet!s from the past week...

 

 

 

Monday: pink skies; taking a little extra time on your morning walk to snap photos; being a help to your mom

Tuesday: no traffic on your way downtown; catching up with friends at an office meeting; an afternoon at home to work; baby daddy-long-legs

 

Wednesday: a quick lunch with your daughter;  jewelry parties and new leads; your husband finding new tires for your car, cheap, on Craig's List

Thursday: a cardinal singing to you on your morning walk; the way your mom's eyes light up at the sight of you; networking with your son and some of his friends at the Buzz Mill on a gorgeous night; vodka fused with mango and Blue Ox barbecue 

 

 

Friday: connecting with a creative friend focused on helping your business; making your mom laugh; colorful old houses

 

 

Saturday: frogs singing to you on your morning walk; photography challenges; discovering a bird's nest hidden beside a path you walk every morning

 

 

Sunday: "watching" the Super Bowl with lots of fun people; Franklin's barbecue, without having to stand in line

 

 

Monday: a motivational reminder appearing in your mailbox, just when you need it; fellow agents brainstorming options for a friend who is about to be evicted

 

 

Tuesday: showing properties; a splash of color on a rainy day; being asked to help a friend's parents move to Austin; your son calling you outside so you don't miss the full moon surrounded by clouds

Wednesday: an early morning phone chat with your cousin; foggy mornings; meeting your mom's new roommate's daughter and granddaughter

 

 

Thursday: winning a Starbucks gift card and collecting free pens and koozies and a Realtor event; finding those special Red Velvet Oreos; helping to thank a valued coach and wishing him well on his new adventure

Friday: coffee and catching up with a past client; long overdue phone visits with your mother-in-law and sister-in-law

 

 

Saturday: your kids lessening your load with laughter and support as you begin to clear out your childhood home; your son volunteering to check out the attic for you; a visit and hugs from your sister and a dear friend; a sunset from Hruska's parking lot

 

 

Sunday: chatting with a friend over chocolate pancakes at the Garden of Eatin' after church; Sunday inspiration; cherished relics of your childhood home settled in your grown-up home; your husband taking care of the awful noise your car was making

Monday: your mom being close enough to stop by and reassure her when she's having a bad day; meeting another Realtor in the grocery store and stopping to talk shop for half an hour

 

I'm way overdue with posting my sweet!s, but I'm managing to look for them each day, and that's really what matters, isn't it? I hope you are, too. 

"Gratitude is the memory of the heart."

~Jean Baptiste Massieu, translated from French

Embrace

 

em·brace

əmˈbrās/

verb

 

 

1.hold (someone) closely in one's arms, especially as a sign of affection.

 

2. accept or support (a belief, theory, or change) willingly and enthusiastically

 

 

Let me embrace thee, sour adversity, for wise men say it is the wisest course. 

~William Shakespeare

 

"Embrace" is more than my word for the year. It's my call-to-action, a one word reminder to welcome each day as a new opportunity to correct mistakes, to challenge myself, to keep an eye open for blessings ... to be a blessing to someone else ... no matter what the day brings.

 

"Persevere" was in the lead for 2015, until "Embrace" popped out at me from a song or somewhere,  and I pictured the card below that a friend gave me. It has echoed in my head ever since. 

 

"Persevere" seems negative. Gray. It trudges alone through the problems of the day, sweating and straining just to get to the end.

 

But "Embrace" is golden, full of light and warmth. It reaches out to accept not only blue skies, but stormy ones as well, knowing there is a type of beauty and purpose in each, and that when it's all over, everything will be okay.

 

 

 

 

So each morning, when I first start grumbling about having to get up so early or feel overwhelmed and stretched thin when I remember all of my urgent to-do's, I'm learning to turn those thoughts into gratitude for the new day by dropping to my knees beside my bed and asking God to guide me, give me strength, and help me embrace whatever the day has in store ... the pains, the joys, the successes, the failures. 

 

Life is too short to do otherwise.

 

Love... it surrounds every being and extends slowly to embrace all that shall be.

~ Khalil Gibran

 

 

There is a Bridge: Love, Music, and Earthly Angels

 

A friend shared this on Facebook yesterday. 

It was so moving, so glorious, and such a beautiful illustration of Love, that I knew right away I wanted to share it with all of you, as well. 

Searching for it on You Tube just now, I discovered it's actually 5 years old, so perhaps you've already seen it. 

But if you haven't, please watch it through to the very end... which is only 5 minutes. 

You won't be sorry. 

 Naomi Feil, founder of Validation therapy, shares a breakthrough moment of communication with Gladys Wilson, a woman who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2000 and was virtually non-verbal.

 More info: www.memorybridge.org

 

 

Love is so powerful and each of us can do so much if we allow it to work through us.

Merry Christmas!

My son, at not quite 30...

 

He doesn't take himself too seriously.

For instance, this is his latest post on Facebook...

"I jogged through the seven levels of the Candy Cane forest, through the sea of swirly twirly gum drops, and then I walked through the Lincoln Tunnel... To Bangers for a beer."

 

It makes me so happy to know he's secure enough, and fun-loving enough, to dress as an elf and run through the streets of Austin on an Elf Pub Run. Also, that he can quote Will Ferrell in "Elf".

Of course I'm also proud that he's an awesome insurance agent who was smart enough to fall in love with that gorgeous redhead beside him.

 

He volunteers to host Thanksgiving for 20 people.

Including roasting the turkey. Yum.

 

 

He doesn't let things shake him up.

After an 8 hour drive, which included hitting a huge deer on a dark highway 30 minutes outside of Lubbock, and then only 4 hours of sleep, he ran 14 miles in freezing weather with his wife because it was important to her to keep up with her marathon training. 

Plus , it was her birthday weekend.

"Ninja training: 8 hour road trip, 4 hours sleep, 14 mile run. Now endurance tailgating with Tx Tech girls."

 

Can I brag some more? He's an Eagle Scout, he visits his grandmother regularly, runs marathons despite having struggled with asthma all through his childhood, has the before-mentioned successful insurance business...

 

All in all, he lives life to the fullest.

 

 

 

But it's still hard to believe it's been 29 years since this...

 

 

Who knew then that he would be my hero? 

Yes, I'm a proud, extremely grateful mom.

Happy 29th birthday to my Sunshine Boy. 

 

You don't raise heroes, you raise sons.  And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes.  ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.

 

Mama taught me... (Lesson #83 and happy birthday, Mama!)

 

My mother, who was born with a spirit of independence and "where there's a will there's a way" ... who was my quadriplegic brother's primary caregiver even while working full-time ... who others (not just family) always turned to for help ...

... well, now she is dependent on a machine for oxygen, a wheelchair for mobility, and other people to help her with practically everything else. 

She tries hard not to push that little white button that will summon help. Not because of false pride, but because she doesn't want to abuse the assistance.

She knows from personal experience how exhausting it can be, mentally and physically, to help a person with all of their basic needs, and she truly appreciates the aides who help her with hers.  She hears other residents complaining, whining, constantly asking for help, so Mama tries to make sure she only calls when it's a real need.

(Sometimes she misjudges - and breaks her femur.)

When the aides and nurses come to help, she jokes with them and smiles often. So naturally, it seems they stop by to see her more often than the other residents. Wouldn't you?

She's a smart lady, my Mama. 

But she has no ulterior motive in being pleasant. She just truly appreciates how hard they work.

 

They're not gray hairs. They're wisdom highlights.

~Author Unknown

Today is her 83rd birthday. We had a little party on Sunday, but the celebration has continued with cards and cookies arriving in the mail, and visitors bringing more sweets and balloons. I think she stayed in bed all day, which has always been one of her favorite pasttimes. 

On her 77th birthday, I listed the things she had taught me in a blog post, and I've added to it every year. So without further ado, here's the list...

 

Things Mama has taught me...

1. it's never too late to learn something new
2. if you have a choice between laughter and tears, choose laughter.
3. don't let anyone mess with your babies!
4. only give advice when asked for it (I'm still working on that one)
5. pray every day
6. pray some more
7. reading a good book might not solve your problems, but it's a nice escape from them
8. bend but never break
9. some people are just takers
10. be nice whenever possible, but sometimes nice doesn't cut it
11. take care of family
12. we're all individuals - let your kids blossom into themselves, not "mini-me's"
13. be there
14. Johnny Weismuller is the best movie Tarzan
15. don't be in a rush to be older than you are - you're only going to be this age once in your life
16. if you like something, and you'll use it, and you can afford it, then buy it, or you'll regret it later
17. quality over quantity
18. never think "can't"
19. people will stand in line for a dead skunk if it's free
20. roll with the punches
21. have fun
22. laugh often
23. believe in yourself
24. don't let others change who you are
25. be honest
26. don't steal
27. forgive yourself
28. God loves me
29. don't judge
30. just do it!
31. inside matters more than outside
32. don't use God's name in vain
33. you can learn anything if you put your mind to it
34. you're never too old to dance
35. it's okay to ask for help
36. show appreciation and express gratitude
37. use my manners
38. consider the source
39. an office or position of authority should be respected, but the individual in that position has to earn your respect
40. sleep is good
41. take advantage of opportunities
42. keep your eyes open and your wits about you
43. people aren't always nice
44. things can't make you happy
45. use your imagination
46. just get started and the rest will be easy
47. don't be intimidated by anyone - we're all the same, all human, we all have strengths and weaknesses
48. you can love someone even if you don't like them
49. forgive but don't forget
50. learn from others' mistakes
51. there are times for being patient, and time for putting your foot down
52. speak up
53. stand up for what you believe in
54. admit your mistakes and expect others to do the same
55. persistance pays off
56. let your kids be kids
57. love unconditionally
58. take lots of pictures
59. kids grow up fast
60. your kids need a mother, not another friend
61. pets are family
62. help others
63. a sense of humor is essential for sanity and survival
64. if you look close enough, you can find something to love about everyone
65. coffee is good anytime
66. messes can be cleaned up
67. prayer works
68. God is strong all the time - let him carry you
69. if you say you're going to do something, do it
70. be nice to yourself in case no one else is
71. you have to show respect to get respect
72. girls are tough
73. don't put up with temper tantrums
74. listen to your body - doctors don't know everything
75. don't say everything you're thinking
76. asking questions is the best way to learn something
77. your babies are always your babies (and their babies are your babies, too!)
78. God is. 
79. Just listen. 
80. people are more important than things
    
81. there is a time to help others, and a time to let others help you
82. God has his reasons, and He will give you whatever strength you need for the road ahead...and never leave you to walk it alone.
83. smile and show appreciation to those who are willing to help you - they may have it tougher than you in many ways

Don't worry. I got this.

"Lord, if your people need me, I will not refuse the work. Your will be done."

~St. Martin of Tours

 

 

My big brother Buster was headed to Viet Nam, saying his goodbyes, when I stood beside him in this photograph and smiled. I had no idea what was ahead of him. This was probably taken before his first tour of duty and so he had only a vague idea himself what to expect.

When he volunteered for his second tour, however, he knew full well what he was stepping into...but he did it anyway. 

 

 

My dad was in high school when the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor. He joined the Navy soon after high school graduation because his country was at war and "it was the thing to do." 

In the next twenty-two months he traveled a long way from Texas aboard the U.S.S. Geneva...to places like the Philippines, the Marshall Islands, China, Burma, Japan.

Before he turned twenty, he had seen cities that had been destroyed by war and piles of dead bodies waiting to be buried. 

A few years later, his little brother Bobby followed his lead and joined the Navy, and many years later, so did my brother Donnie and two nephews.

 

Pop, my wonderful father-in-law, missed out on World War II, but joined the Air Force in time for the Korean War. He worked base supply in Okinawa, supporting bombers flying missions to Korea...about 100 aircraft every day.

He re-enlisted, got married, and hopped around the globe...living in England, Germany, and over a year in Pakistan, separated from his family (the other heroes - Mom had 8 teenage and younger boys to deal with by herself!)...visiting a dozen other countries...eventually staying put for awhile in Maryland, working with NSA (and a second job at the bowling alley to make ends meet), until his retirement.

A lifetime of service and sacrifice for this country.

 

 

My husband Tom was raised in that military family. For him it was normal to move every few years to someplace completely different...by the time he was eight or nine years old, he had lived in three countries!

He grew up on a tight budget ... hand-me-downs, powdered milk and only two cookies a day...period! And yet as soon as he could, he joined the service...the Coast Guard. Among other things, he helped rescue fisherman off the coast of Alaska.

Four of his brothers also joined the service (three career Air Force, just like their dad, and another Coast Guard) and the youngest joined the Army Reserves. Now the next generation is following in their footsteps: two Air Force and one Coast Guard.

I think it's very fitting that Veterans Day shares November with Thanksgiving, a day when we slow down to remember and be grateful for things that we usually take for granted, because veterans, despite the sacrifices they make for all of us, probably don't even make it onto our Thanksgiving thank-you list.

That's how much most of us take them for granted - as well as the freedoms they protect for us. Even when our country isn't at war, they go where they are needed to unfamiliar places, away from extended family, often living on a minimum salary.

To many, they are a symbol of war, not peace, and sadly become targets of derision, scorn, blame... and even violence, like the sad incident at Ft. Hood a few years ago.

They deserve to be thanked every day of the year. A friend of mine says that when he's in a restaurant and sees a man or woman in uniform, he secretly pays their bill. What a wonderful idea! I think more of us should go out of our way every day to show our appreciation, but I'm glad there is at least one special day where we shine a spotlight on them, remember their sacrifices and make clear our gratitude.

Thank you Daddy, Tom, Pop, Buster, Donnie, Uncle Bobby, Uncle Howard, Kenny, Steve, Joe, Robbie, John, Sheila, Michael, Tom, Lynn, Robbin, Evan...and all of the other Veterans, past and present, out there! Because of you, we're free to go about our daily lives, without a thought in the world to how much that freedom costs or how much you've given.

But let's hope we do remember the price, as well as those who, through their actions, say "Don't worry. I got this."

(If this sounds familiar, it's a re-post from last year and the year before and the year before, with just a few tweeks. With the passing of Daddy, my Uncle Bobby, and Pop in recent years, and my brother Buster years ago, this day feels especially poignant. I don't want their service to be forgotten.)